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Own the dream. My favorite love. Hello. Hello. And welcome. To my favorite murder.
00:01:59
The Minisode. That's right. Where we read you your stories. I already told you that.
00:02:04
How did you not know? Don't make us say it every week. You want to go first? Sure.
00:02:11
The subject line of this email is Deep Lake Murder Mystery. and then it says hi y'all insert praises here i mean i understand why people do that but
00:02:23
you know you can't always do it you want to hear them at some point let loose with the compliments
00:02:28
can we get one just one statement when i statement when you statement the recent hometown about a
00:02:35
scuba diver finding cremains reminded me of a different scuba diving horror story do you
00:02:40
Remember that one about the cremains? They thought they found treasure. I first heard this story the day before my sister's wedding.
00:02:48
She was getting married in Lake Geneva, a small resort town in southern Wisconsin that's about an hour and a half from downtown Chicago.
00:02:54
The lake itself was formed by a glacier thousands of years ago, and despite being only seven miles long, it is one of the deeper inland Wisconsin lakes and reaches 135 feet deep.
00:03:04
I remember many a childhood summer jumping into the middle of the lake and using my pink
00:03:09
kitty swim goggles to look straight down and see the sunlight from the surface stretch into
00:03:14
fathomless dark green depths. Wow. I put A plus on my actual piece of paper. That's some descriptive language.
00:03:24
It's beautifully paced. It's beautifully chosen descriptive language. It's not overwritten.
00:03:29
It's not underwritten. It's personal and you could see it yourself. That's great writing.
00:03:33
That's exactly right. Anyway, I'm back in the email. Anyway, back to my sister's wedding where
00:03:39
we decided to take a booze cruise before the rehearsal dinner. We rented out a small boat
00:03:43
owned and operated by just one dude who was captain, bartender, and tour guide. I love that
00:03:49
idea. My family got a serving platter of Jimmy John's. The captain was sneaking my underage
00:03:54
self vodka cranberries. All in all, it was a great time. When we were pretty drunk and the
00:04:00
captain had slowed the boat down to an idle cruise, he informed us that we were over the deepest part
00:04:05
of the lake. He then proceeded to tell us that several years ago, scuba divers had been patrolling
00:04:10
this same spot and in the black water at the bottom of the lake, slammed face first into a body
00:04:16
floating upright in the water. The scuba divers, properly shitting themselves, immediately shot to
00:04:22
the surface as fast as possible. The body was in such good condition that investigators first thought
00:04:27
it was a recent murder, but after some investigation, they connected the body to a woman who went
00:04:32
missing six years prior. All of this has an asterisk on it, just so you know, that asterisk
00:04:39
is coming up. Bodies that deep in the water, the captain said, tend to stay preserved for decades.
00:04:45
After that cheery thought, the cruise continued. When we got back to the hotel, I immediately
00:04:50
Googled the story. Turns out it is a bit less sensational and deeply sadder than the captain
00:04:55
let on. 29-year-old Dawn Broussard went missing in 1997. She lived in Burlington, Wisconsin,
00:05:02
and worked at a nearby bank. Her body, bound in chains, was indeed found five years after her
00:05:08
disappearance by recreational divers in 117 feet of cold black water. However, the body was badly
00:05:15
decomposed. Still, investigators were able to note head trauma. Five years after the body was
00:05:20
discovered, her husband was charged with her murder. Among the evidence against him was the
00:05:25
fact that he told the woman he was having an affair with that he was going to, quote,
00:05:30
wrap her in heavy chains and cement blocks and throw her into the lake where she would never be
00:05:35
found. End quote. Holy shit. Yeah, I mean, so that's that there. What's up? Like, what if a guy
00:05:41
you're dating says that to you about his wife? Like, that's... That's when you go ahead and call
00:05:47
911 because you've got some very important information about an unwell individual in your
00:05:54
vicinity Holy shit I mean because that not like I frustrated and I going It a plan that he is disclosing to his mistress Yeah Then they go on to say I hope he rots and I hope Dawn is at peace
00:06:09
Here are the morals of the story as I see them. Lakes are creepy. Don't scuba dive in them.
00:06:14
You don't need to sensationalize the death of a young woman to tell a good story.
00:06:17
And captain bartender tour guides who give 19 year olds booze are maybe not the most upright characters around.
00:06:25
Anyway, your podcast is getting me through my PhD. So SSDG and wish you say sexy, don't get
00:06:34
and wishing you all the best. Oh, I thought that was gonna I thought it was gonna be a joke. It's
00:06:40
just SSDG. It's funny to me. So anyway, your podcast is getting me through my PhD. So SSDG
00:06:46
and wishing you all the best, Julia, she her. Julia, you forgot an M. You forgot a crucial
00:06:53
part of that sign off. I mean, that's essentially like a hometown that he's been telling and the
00:06:59
details got away from him. I don't think it's like you can call that sensationalizing, but I think
00:07:04
that's the thing of saying, oh my God, can you believe this happened here? Which is what we all
00:07:09
do. I can't believe the coincidence that the divers ran straight into her body and, you know,
00:07:16
like otherwise she might've never been found. It's just that one day those divers happened to
00:07:21
be in that one area and boom the sky goes to prison hopefully forever also the idea that you
00:07:27
would be as julia very beautifully described like down in the deep murky blackness of the bottom of
00:07:34
a lake and swim into a body that's down there is from every horror movie like that's so scary
00:07:41
totally so scary wow and that was like a cold case that got solved because of those divers
00:07:47
Yeah. I love it. This is called Babysitting Snafu. Hi, ladies, gents, pets, and hackers reading this email.
00:07:55
Oh. Obviously, you know I'm a big fan since I'm writing in, so let's do it. I mean, there's a lot of withholding.
00:08:01
I think we've encouraged it. You asked for babysitting stories recently, and boy, do I have one for you.
00:08:08
Circa 2011, I was working as a nanny in NYC. On our walk home one day to get the little one ready for a nap,
00:08:15
I found a cell phone sitting in the middle of a busy crosswalk. Would you pick it up, Karen?
00:08:20
Yes or no? Depends on where I was headed to. Depends on how many people are on the crosswalk with me too, though.
00:08:25
Like, it's just me, maybe. But if it's a bunch of people, I'm going to mind my business.
00:08:30
Yeah, there's a mind your business element where it's like, what if this is involved in something?
00:08:34
What am I supposed to do? Right. Well, here's what you do. Oh. Always trying to do the right thing and instill good morals and values
00:08:41
into the toddler brain I was influencing. I decided to pick up the phone so we could try and return it to its rightful owner.
00:08:47
That's what I would have done too. Really? No. No, me neither. I explained to the 2.5-year-old that this was not our phone to keep and that after nap time,
00:08:56
we'd be sure to get it back where it belonged. Fast forward 30 minutes, the little guy is napping,
00:09:01
so I get to work trying to track down the owner of the Motorola. I immediately think burner phone.
00:09:06
Someone just like left in the middle of an intersection to get run over. Yes. This person has a clearer conscience than I do.
00:09:11
Yeah, I love a description of that Motorola because obviously it could have slipped out of someone's pocket, but it's much more likely that there's something else going on.
00:09:19
Right, right. Well, here we go. Oh. I immediately go to the most recent texts, thinking these would be the closest contacts and pals of the poor soul who was now without their cellular device.
00:09:30
I was puzzled that no names were saved and all texts were just random numbers. But no stress, I'd move forward with my plan.
00:09:36
I texted the top three numbers explaining, hi, sorry to bug you, but I just found this phone and I'm trying to return it to the owner.
00:09:44
Please let me know if you know how to otherwise get in touch with whomever that may be.
00:09:48
Thanks. One number texted me back pretty quickly. Thank you. Yes, it was her boyfriend's phone and she would try to figure out how to coordinate with me in order to return it to him.
00:09:58
As I was early on the iPhone train at the time, I didn't have a charger for this particular phone
00:10:03
and shared with her my own phone number and name, giving her my rough coordinates in the city to
00:10:08
figure out a plan to meet up later, explaining that if his phone died, she could still get in
00:10:12
touch with me to coordinate the return. She thanked me, promised to get back to me, and I resumed my
00:10:17
normal nap time tasks, feeling pretty righteous about my good deed for the day. A few seconds later,
00:10:23
another text comes through. Now remember, no names are saved on this phone, so I see a number pop up
00:10:28
and think maybe it's one of the other two people I texted or even the girlfriend again. Instead,
00:10:33
I open the text to read, hey man, do you have those rocks I'd asked for? I suddenly realized
00:10:40
that it is very unlikely that I have just stumbled upon a tenured geologist professor's phone
00:10:44
and more likely that it belongs to a drug dealer. I probably would have ended my quest to meet up
00:10:50
with this person at this point. But remember, I had already shared my own personal number and name
00:10:55
with the girlfriend. Yeah, you did. So I definitely didn't want to piss anyone off.
00:11:00
And your coordinates. Why aren't you mentioning your fucking coordinates at this point where
00:11:04
you're just like, here's my front door. Here's a copy of the key. She said general coordinates.
00:11:10
But I guess 2011, you can't do a find my phone thing at the time. It's just, I feel like the lessons of mind your business that we have learned in the past seven
00:11:21
years are really what come to mind where it's like, what's the value of running something down
00:11:26
for somebody at the second you saw no saved names? Why didn't? Right. Come on. It's mind your
00:11:32
business. Don't be a hero. Yes. Unless it's something that you feel important about, I guess.
00:11:39
If it's just like a throwaway cell phone, you know, mind your business. And also because that
00:11:44
person could be literally 30 steps ahead of you and running backwards to get it. So now you've
00:11:48
picked it up and now it's in your purse and now you're taking it on a whole other journey. There's
00:11:53
arguments to be made I like the kind hearted step one but then there other steps where it like you have to read the signals that the world might not be as nice as you God forbid Right right Read the signals and then move forward accordingly
00:12:08
Or just become a drug dealer because you have a drug dealer's phone. Yeah. Over the remainder of nap time, the girlfriend ends up coordinating with me for
00:12:15
a plan to meet the cell phone's owner on a busy intersection later that afternoon.
00:12:20
I nervously called my mom and explained to her that I would be taking myself and the child I
00:12:24
was nannying to meet with a drug lord that day in case anything were to happen. I guess just another
00:12:29
normal day in NYC for some. Little guy wakes up from his nap and it's time to lead by example and
00:12:34
teach him that we are returning the phone because that is the kind and right thing to do. Ma'am.
00:12:40
Thankfully, the encounter with Pablo Escobar 2.0 was fine. A kid probably five years younger than
00:12:46
myself showed up very thankful and tried to offer me cash, which I feverantly declined. There's
00:12:51
another mistake as a thank you gesture. Little toddler man learned a lesson in kindness and I
00:12:57
was able to be rid of the hub of criminal activity I'd been housing for the last few hours.
00:13:02
So yeah, thankfully all was well, but that was one babysitting adventure I didn't want to repeat.
00:13:06
So stay sexy and keep toddlers away from criminal activity. D she her. D I'm sorry. I've been very
00:13:14
critical of you this whole email, but at the same time, had you just moved to New York city from
00:13:21
Kansas, what are you doing? But thanks for sharing. Hey, everyone. It's Cal Penn, host of Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club.
00:13:32
This week on the podcast, I'm sitting down with Lily Chu, the author of the Audible original romantic comedy Just Kiss Already.
00:13:41
It's a story about a forensic anthropologist who secretly writes mystery novels, an actress who adapts his book into a film,
00:13:48
and what happens when a meme and a media tour collide with a slow burn romance. It's performed by Simu Liu and Philippa Su, and it is an absolute blast.
00:14:00
When you actually hear the performance, you realize that other people are taking your words
00:14:06
and what you thought was kind of a straightforward sentence like, the cat in the corner is black.
00:14:11
In my head, it's the cat in the corner is black, not the dog, not the gerbil. but someone else might say it, the cat in the corner is black.
00:14:19
That's always fascinating to me, how they just bring in all these different nuances
00:14:23
and really make it fun and interesting and distinctive. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeart Radio app
00:14:32
or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Cindy Crawford, and I'm the founder of Meaningful Beauty.
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00:16:16
Okay. The subject line of this email is the Al Capone story you asked for. And then in parentheses, it says a long time ago.
00:16:26
Hey, pretty ladies. There you go. That's a greeting and a compliment all combined in one.
00:16:31
I love it. I'm new to the Murderino fam and have been binge listening to your episodes for the past couple weeks.
00:16:37
In a Hopetown episode I listened to yesterday, there was a story about Al Capone and you asked
00:16:42
for more mob stories. So here I am pretending that was a recent request. Enjoy. The story begins with
00:16:49
me getting put in charge of finding a restaurant for dinner while on a family trip in Chicago.
00:16:55
Just your typical oldest daughter responsibility. Google Maps showed a decent place called
00:17:01
Exchequer a couple blocks away and I got the gang out the door. When we arrived,
00:17:06
we stepped foot into a time capsule of a restaurant, walls clad with framed newspapers
00:17:11
with headlines featuring Al Capone. When I asked the waiter if the owner was a big fan,
00:17:16
he chuckled and said, this restaurant was used as a speakeasy in a hangout spot for Al Capone
00:17:21
back in the day. Wow. Oh, now I want to go there. I want to go there too. I want to go there. I
00:17:27
want to see it. Seeing how intrigued my siblings and I were by this declaration, he took us on a
00:17:32
quick tour to see the pub's prized possession, Al Capone's escape route. The restaurant still has
00:17:39
the door and stairway that led to an escape tunnel, which has since been filled with cement
00:17:43
by the city of Chicago. And then in parentheses, it says, boo, no fun. No fun. For the rest of
00:17:50
dinner my family couldn shut up about the mob My dad a shy man who usually observes conversations rather than partakes in them quietly interjected you know my grandfather was forced to work for Al Capone and then took another bite of his burger as if he hadn just
00:18:05
dropped that bomb. After receiving looks of shock and frustrated replies questioning why he'd never
00:18:10
told us this before, he set the scene. Back in the day, my great grandpa had owned a landscaping
00:18:16
company in the outskirts of Chicago. One day a car pulled up, men hopped out, blindfolded him,
00:18:21
and drove away. Oh my God. I bet they put him in the car after they blindfolded him. That's part
00:18:26
of it. Just drive. Yeah. That's so mean. He pulled the blindfold off, was really mad. And that was
00:18:33
his experience. Okay. When they stopped, they revealed to him that Al Capone was building an
00:18:39
estate for his granddaughters and requested my great grandpa do the landscaping. Realizing he
00:18:44
really didn't have any choice. He gave them a quote and got to work. My dad said his grandpa
00:18:48
had kept this job a secret, given how polarizing it would have been to people in his life
00:18:53
if they knew that he had accepted or declined work from the notorious gangster. Yeah, you don't decline work.
00:18:59
I don't think you can. Weeks past, he wrapped up the job and was paid. As he began to drive away,
00:19:04
he received a send-off message that clearly communicated, don't come back. His rearview mirror was shot.
00:19:11
Why? He just did them a nice thing. I don't know. That's wild. Bye, thank you. Here's your money and a tip.
00:19:20
And maybe they're that good where it's like, I'm just going to give him this warning shot
00:19:23
of keep your mouth shut or this will go where it's supposed to go next time. Absolutely right.
00:19:28
Yeah. Why couldn't they just say it with a firm handshake staring you deeply into the eyes?
00:19:32
There's other ways to do the same thing. Yeah. Anyway, my dad wrapped up this story with a sheepish smile, admitting that he thought
00:19:38
it was pretty cool. And then in typical protective dad fashion began to warn us about drugs and alcohol.
00:19:45
Moral of the story, dads are gems. and if yours is anything like mine, they might be unintentionally hiding some pretty cool stories
00:19:51
and just need some help jogging their memory. Even though I'm new here, I can already tell you guys
00:19:56
have something really special here by listening to the anecdotes from other listeners. Keep doing
00:20:01
what you're doing. Stay sexy and don't do landscaping, Elizabeth. That's just the general
00:20:08
rule. I love it. Just stay away from all landscaping, gardening. I love it when those
00:20:13
are just like these sweeping statements of like, just don't go in the forest. Don't go into a lake.
00:20:18
Stop scuba diving entirely. That's right. That was a good one. Yeah. Hey, how about a deathbed
00:20:24
confession? Love it. Hello, this is my third, fourth time writing in and I really hope it gets
00:20:31
picked. In episode 382 called Under Underpants. Do you remember that? Nope. I mean, Georgia stated
00:20:38
that the minisodes were severely lacking in deathbed confessions. Well, I got one for my
00:20:42
great-grandma, Marie, who I was named after, middle name. Now let me paint the innocent picture
00:20:47
I had of my lovely great-grandma. She lived behind the Lutheran church of our small hometown
00:20:52
of Ronan, Montana, a devout Lutheran who I spent many a days playing in her flower garden after
00:20:58
preschool. The town was very small and the classroom was also in the church. She would
00:21:03
make popcorn balls and she would pray to Jesus when I would try and spell dirty words during
00:21:08
scrabble. Hell yeah. Yeah. Grandma Marie was diagnosed with stomach cancer and her last weeks
00:21:17
on this earth were very hard. She was surviving on ice chips as our family gathered around in her
00:21:21
family home. One by one, we all said our goodbyes. My grandpa, Ted, Marie was his son, went in several
00:21:28
times to see his mom deteriorate in her bed surrounded by embroidered Bible quotes. She sat
00:21:34
up in bed for the first time in a long time and gave him her deathbed confession. Ted, the man you
00:21:41
thought was your father is not your dad. I'm not entirely sure who is. Then she proceeded to lay
00:21:49
back down and go back into a trance-like state. What a fucking mic drop. I mean, for real.
00:21:55
Apparently, my great-grandma Marie was quite the runaround Sue. Pretty soon, the rest of his six
00:22:00
siblings started to question who their fathers were because none of them really shared any similar
00:22:05
qualities. I love this so much. However, they decided it didn't matter because their adoptive
00:22:11
dad, Dick, was their chosen dad. He married my great grandma and adopted all the kids when they
00:22:17
were adults. Their biological dad, maybe, was an abusive alcoholic. Dick accepted and loved them
00:22:24
all the same. I miss Grandma Marie and I wish she could have gone out in a better way, but she
00:22:29
always gave her whole heart whenever someone needed it. Stay sexy and get a genealogy test.
00:22:34
Lauren, they, them. Grandma Marie, just epic journey. Just what an arc. Like live your life,
00:22:42
do your thing. Women for so, for thousands of years have been painted into this corner.
00:22:50
They're supposed to be the perfect mother. They're supposed to be the sexiest lady. They have
00:22:55
Like, they have to answer every single goddamn call. And it's like, you know what?
00:23:00
Your grandma did. She did it all. She lived her life, not someone else's, her life.
00:23:06
Yeah. And then she was like, later on, I'm going to make good with Jesus. It'll work out.
00:23:10
I'll make some popcorn balls and we'll, you know, it'll all be good. Hell yes. Hey, everyone.
00:23:19
It's Cal Penn, host of Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I'm sitting down with Lily Chu, the author of the Audible original romantic comedy Just Kiss Already.
00:23:32
It's a story about a forensic anthropologist who secretly writes mystery novels, an actress who adapts his book into a film,
00:23:39
and what happens when a meme and a media tour collide with a slow burn romance. It's performed by Simu Liu and Philippa Su, and it is an absolute blast.
00:23:50
When you actually hear the performance, you realize that other people are taking your
00:23:56
words and what you thought was kind of a straightforward sentence like, like the cat in the corner is black.
00:24:02
In my head, it's the cat in the corner is black, not the dog, not the gerbil. But someone else might say it,
00:24:08
the cat in the corner is black. That's always fascinating to me. How they just bring in all these different nuances
00:24:14
and really make it fun and interesting and distinctive. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club
00:24:21
on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Now I'd like to introduce you to Meaningful Beauty, the famed skincare brand created by iconic supermodel Cindy Crawford.
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00:26:03
The subject line of this one is my mother, the witch. Hi, ladies. I can't tell you how much I love this podcast, and I want to share with you the time my mother ruined my life by being a witch.
00:26:15
That's a good one. I could open it. Right? Yeah. My family has one claim to fame, and that is that we are direct descendants of the man who founded the town of Salem, Massachusetts.
00:26:26
Interesting. And then it says, yes, that's Salem, Massachusetts. I don't think there's multiple Salem, Massachusettses.
00:26:35
I grew up in New England, and every few years we would take a day trip to Salem, and my brother and dad and I would have to take a million pictures in front of the founder's statue.
00:26:45
and then parentheses it says, if you've never seen it, he's on top of a giant boulder with a
00:26:50
rather fabulous windswept cloak like someone is holding a fan while he poses for an America's
00:26:56
Next Top Model photo challenge. So in 1995, I was 12 and it was time to take one of our trips to
00:27:03
Salem. It was October. And if you've never been to Salem in October, you definitely should go.
00:27:08
Those people know how to celebrate Halloween. After a morning of gallivanting around town,
00:27:13
eating caramel apples and having our fortunes told, we headed over to the old courthouse where
00:27:18
they always do a reenactment of one of the witch trials. I didn't know they did that. Wow. That's
00:27:23
cool. I settled into the wooden pew next to mom ready for the show. But what I did not realize
00:27:28
was that the witch who has to face the trial was a random audience member that the performers would
00:27:34
choose to join them. Well, my former amateur actor turned professional storyteller mother
00:27:40
saw this opportunity and she took it. Wow. The trial started, the elders of the community shouting
00:27:47
that there was a witch in our midst who must be brought to justice. Preteen me was rolling my eyes
00:27:53
and sighing at the absurdity when suddenly they all screamed, she's the witch and pointed directly
00:28:00
at my mother. The level of embarrassment that took over my body was crippling as if I was standing
00:28:07
in front of my entire middle school with a giant period stain on my jeans. Oh God.
00:28:13
Yep. We know the levels, those levels of humiliation. I wanted to be burned at the stake myself just to end the humiliation My mother God love her has never once turned down the opportunity to perform She started screaming and hurling insults and accusations at the other
00:28:30
performers. Things like, I'm not a witch. How dare you accuse me? And I'll take all of you down with
00:28:36
me. Oh my God. Mom is like my time to fucking shine. For real. She also said, just try to burn
00:28:43
me. You'll see what happens, followed by a few choice insane witch cackles. Oh my God. The
00:28:49
audience went crazy. The performers knew they hit the jackpot. And I was so embarrassed by my ham of
00:28:56
a mother that I was in actual real tears. Yeah. The trial went on with her on the stand screaming
00:29:02
at non-equity actors dressed like Puritans for what was, if I recall correctly, seven solid hours.
00:29:08
finally it's all improvised yeah that's so awful amazing finally after an excruciatingly long time
00:29:17
they found her guilty and dragged her yes dragged her under the armpits as she had committed so
00:29:23
fully to the role that she refused to walk oh my god screaming out of the courthouse then to the
00:29:31
cheers of the townspeople and all the tourists with their kodak cameras and nylon windbreakers
00:29:36
they threw her in the stocks and marched back to the courthouse, triumphant that they had disposed
00:29:41
of yet another witch. My father was laughing so hard he was in tears and high-fiving my brother,
00:29:47
who was old enough to be spared the shame I was feeling. The actors found her after the performance
00:29:53
and thanked her profusely for playing along and making the show so much fun. I, on the other hand,
00:29:58
hauled my 12-year-old ass back to the car where I refused to come out until we arrived back home in
00:30:04
Connecticut. Fucking preteens, man. Preteens. Preteen girls. Wow. Well, it kind of feels like
00:30:10
the inside of your body is on the outside of your body. So I understand, but still they are true
00:30:17
ruiners. And then it says, I didn't speak to her for the rest of the weekend. In retrospect, of
00:30:25
course, I'm sure the performance was amazing. And I know for a fact that pictures of my mother exist
00:30:29
in more than one stranger's family photo album. Yes. But is the girl in the throes of puberty?
00:30:36
Thanks, I hated it. So that's it. Stay sexy. And if you find yourself in Salem, don't get caught being a witch or a ham.
00:30:44
Laura, she, her. So good, Laura. That was a great email. That was amazing. How did your parents embarrass the ever-loving shit out of you
00:30:52
when you were a kid? Dude. We want to hear your story. My mom would just pull up to wherever we were.
00:30:57
doesn't matter how close to the car we were if we had already made eye contact and go
00:31:01
on her fucking horn every time to wait wait was she coming to pick you up yeah she was coming to
00:31:11
pick you up i was with like my drug friends you know what i mean like when i was 13 it'd be like
00:31:16
we're all hanging out and we're all punk rockers and then my mom would come up in her fucking
00:31:20
O's mobile. Janet, why? Janet, because I'm trying to look cool. She's just she's trying to make it fun for herself. It sounds like at that point.
00:31:35
Yeah. Now I get it. Yeah. Now I see that parenting is a fucking nightmare, especially preteens. And you got to get your joy somewhere.
00:31:42
And you got to embarrass them. It's kind of your job just so that the humility is always there.
00:31:46
I mean, it worked. I thought when you said, how did your parents embarrass you? I thought
00:31:52
you were asking me not, not doing a call out to the audience where I was like, let's say I am
00:31:57
literally 29, a list of 29 items, no less my dad. Well, cause my dad had eight brothers and sisters.
00:32:04
So he was masterful and he knew like one time he, he always bought old cars and trucks and stuff.
00:32:11
Like he always liked to have them and redo them and stuff. We were in this goddamn, this old white
00:32:16
truck that he had and he was driving carpool and the horn at some point just started honking
00:32:23
on the way to school without him touching it and of course we're all laughing until we get up close
00:32:28
to school and I was like 14 I think I was probably a freshman and I'm like dad dad dad you have to
00:32:33
stop here and he's like oh no we're going all the way so truly drove in all the way in how come ours
00:32:40
are both car horn related That weird Yours probably gave me my idea But then but it really happened It like what a perfect tool for teenage humiliation than a car horn
00:32:52
Yeah. Like calling you out. And one time we went to this place called Mountain Home Ranch in the
00:32:57
summertime, which was so fun. And it was just like this cool, there was all these cabins on the side
00:33:02
of a mountain and all these different things and stuff. And we pulled in driving through the kind
00:33:08
of like cabin area to where our cabin was. And we drive by these two little girls who are like
00:33:14
playing jump rope out in front of their cabin. And my dad pulls up and rolls the window down. He goes,
00:33:19
hi, this is Karen and Laura. Will you be their friends with this like crazy, like look and
00:33:25
the sound in his voice and look on his face where I'm like, first of all, that's scary.
00:33:30
Like don't, don't just pull up and start yelling. but then we here's the funny part we did become their friends and their names were laura and karen
00:33:41
and shut your face i swear to fucking god they were sisters from san francisco how confused were
00:33:47
they when he said that he's like we're already friends with ourselves i don't know i never
00:33:50
thought about that what that was like on their side scary older man to yell at them about their
00:33:57
own names. Like a wizard pulling into the place. Okay, I have one more. Okay. Oh, this is so weird.
00:34:05
This is about a dad in a car. No. I swear to God, this is not on purpose. Hello, guys, gals,
00:34:13
and animal pals. I am the youngest of six children, which means anything interesting
00:34:17
happened either before I was born or too young to remember. I learned most of the family lore
00:34:22
through holiday dinners when everyone was a little drunk and trying to tell a better story
00:34:26
than the next person. My dad tells this story almost every year. And it wasn't until I was in
00:34:32
my early twenties that I started to believe him. My dad was traveling for business and decided to
00:34:37
take the whole family. All eight of us, I'm assuming I was there, but there's a chance I
00:34:41
wasn't born yet or just too young to remember, found our hotel room. My dad left to go get our
00:34:46
luggage from the car. My oldest brother begged to go with him, but my dad said no, knowing that if
00:34:51
One kid got to go. All of them had to. My dad went to the car alone. And when he opened the door, he found, of all people, Weird Al Yankovic and his band.
00:35:05
My dad asked him, Weird Al, what are you doing in my car? To which Weird Al answered, I thought this was the hotel shuttle.
00:35:15
Yes, Weird Al and his bandmates saw my family's eight seat van filled with luggage and assumed
00:35:21
to belong to the hotel. In his defense, we named our car Jerome after the football player Jerome
00:35:27
Bettis, who was nicknamed the bus. So it actually looked like a bus. Oh, yeah. I don't know who that
00:35:33
is. Hearing the story growing up, I thought it was so ridiculous. I couldn't believe it.
00:35:36
But to this day, my brother is upset he missed the opportunity to meet Weird Al.
00:35:41
Also, the last time I heard the story, my dad said he had gone back up to our room and excitedly
00:35:45
told my mom, you're never going to believe it. Weird Al was in our car. And my mom said,
00:35:50
wow, who's that? After years of hearing the story and having several family members corroborate it,
00:35:56
I really believe this happened and my family is not playing a prank on me. Although if I ever met Weird Al,
00:36:01
I don't think I would ask him if he remembers mistaking a stranger's car for a hotel shuttle as to not ruin the memory.
00:36:07
Thank you for reading and for all that you do. I want you to know that yes, my badass sister got me into this podcast.
00:36:14
And I hope she gets to listen to this while she studies dance abroad in Israel. Whoa.
00:36:19
Wow. Stay sexy and keep your car unlocked in case Weird Al needs a ride. Lily. Lily, that was a great story.
00:36:28
And I understand your fear of asking Weird Al and then getting the, I don't know what
00:36:33
you're talking about, but imagine Weird Al going. That was the funniest thing that happened on that tour.
00:36:39
I bet you he remembers because he wasn't a like drug addict or alcoholic because he's
00:36:44
Weird Al. So he really has an okay memory. Yeah. I bet he remember. Did you ever see the movie about Weird Al that came out that Daniel Radcliffe was in?
00:36:53
How have I still not seen that? I haven't seen it either. I heard it's great. Like everyone I know really liked it.
00:36:58
I somehow missed it. Maybe Lily's story is in there. Maybe it's in there. I have a lot of empathy for Lily because being the youngest like that I had a friend who was the youngest like she was like a Catholic oops baby So she was like eight years younger than her brothers and sisters And I have to say Lily I bet you one of the chillest coolest people to hang out with
00:37:17
because you basically have to be because you're just, you're the last one in the door. So like
00:37:23
your family's already like acting like a family and you have to, you're basically forced into like,
00:37:28
you can't cry about it. No one's like, there's no complaints being received anymore. Your parents
00:37:33
had five kids. Yeah. You have to sit and listen. That's your job is sit and listen. Yeah. And by
00:37:38
that point, those parents are like great at parenting because they'd done it so much.
00:37:42
Or over it. So they just ignore you. You got the best of all the worlds, but you didn't get to be
00:37:48
there for the stories. The fun stuff. Yeah. Hey, tell us about your enormous families and what you
00:37:53
had to go through because of it. I want to hear about that. My favorite murder at Gmail. Send us
00:37:57
all your stories. I forgot how big families have to have special cars. That's right.
00:38:03
Because I was like, why would the whole band get into like a four-door car? And it's like, oh, no, no, no.
00:38:08
They have a van. A van. Oh, my God. Remember when we got into a van? No. Some other girls got in our van when we were playing in Texas.
00:38:18
There was a show in Texas, and they thought it was the hotel van that was taking us to our show.
00:38:24
And they seemed like they'd had a couple at the bar beforehand, but they had hopped in the van.
00:38:30
And then the driver thought it was us. He had driven them halfway there. That's right.
00:38:36
Before realizing it wasn't us because two like girls having fun, dressed up, ready for a show.
00:38:41
They were going to our show. Jumped in the back of his van. He starts driving them.
00:38:44
And then he realizes they're not the performers. Did he still drop them off though?
00:38:48
I hope they got it right. I think he turned around and came back and we were standing there and the girls like,
00:38:52
you know, spilled out of the van laughing their asses off. I fucking forgot about that.
00:38:58
That's hilarious. That's a good one. I think that was a Houston show if I had to guess.
00:39:01
That's right. Yeah. Wow, guys. Well, if you have ever taken our van or any family's van, steal a car, have a bunch of brothers and sisters, tell us about it.
00:39:12
That's right. And also stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie?
00:39:20
This has been an Exactly Right production. Our senior producer is Alejandra Keck.
00:39:30
Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo. This episode was mixed by Liana Squalacci. Email your hometowns to myfavoritemurder at gmail.com.
00:39:38
And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and on Twitter at My Fave Murder.
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