00:00:00
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00:01:50
And welcome to my favorite murder. The minis are so cute. It's little. Tiny. uh you want to go first on this one sure okay this i'm not going to read you the subject
00:02:02
hi karen georgia and team love what you do let's get right into it i was listening to your recent
00:02:09
episode about the silent twins and it reminded me of a hometown tale my mom recently shared with me
00:02:15
she was a student in the early 70s in redding uk pronounced redding rather than reading as in books
00:02:22
Good. Thank you. Good to know. Mom, Jane, was shy and sheltered, having moved over to England from a strict upbringing in rural Northern Ireland.
00:02:33
Yikes. Her best friend Juliet was lively and super outgoing and was always dragging her along on crazy adventures.
00:02:40
We all need a Juliet in our lives, don't we? Yeah, for sure. Or were the Juliet's.
00:02:44
Or be the Juliet or find a Juliet. That's right. And switch off. Right. One time, Juliet told mom about a charity pen pal scheme she was involved in, writing to and visiting hospital patients who had no remaining family or friends.
00:02:59
They needed more volunteers, so my mom, more than happy to reach out to a lonely person in need, signed up.
00:03:05
A few exchanges later, mom and Juliet set off on the train for a day trip to visit their new pen pals at the hospital.
00:03:12
Broadmoor Hospital, that is. I know that one. Yes, that's right. It turned out that my lovely, innocent 19-year-old mom's new pen pal was, in fact, a patient at
00:03:23
Broadmoor, which we all know is like one of the worst psychiatric hospitals in the UK.
00:03:30
We've told many stories about people. And if I'm not mistaken, of course, I very well could be, but I'm pretty sure it's been
00:03:37
there for a very long time. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's a psychiatric prison and a hospital as well.
00:03:44
Yeah. If you know anything about Broadmoor Hospital and you want to write in and tell us about it, we'd love to read it on the minisode.
00:03:50
We would love that, please. We'd love information. When she asked him what had happened to land him there, her pen pal explained it was a, quote, complete misunderstanding.
00:04:01
It's a misunderstanding for sure. And that heated argument with his girlfriend had ended in him, quote, accidentally hitting her and killing her.
00:04:09
Oh, no. The weapon he used to, quote, accidentally hit the girlfriend on the head?
00:04:15
An axe. No. Needless to say, when she went back home and told her parents about her charitable new venture, they were absolutely horrified.
00:04:24
Stay sexy and don't become pen pals with an axe murderer. Alice, kiss kiss. I don't think you can get much out of that pen pal relationship.
00:04:32
No. I don't know, though. But I don't think so. No. You want to be charitable and everything, but there's got to be someone a little more on the level that you can help.
00:04:41
One would hope. Yeah. Someone you could exchange recipes with. I don't know. You don't want people to suffer.
00:04:48
You also don't want people to get pulled into pen pal relationships. That's parallel to my story.
00:04:55
It's my pen pal Donna from Iowa. Remember that MFM animated about this? I think it might be my favorite MFM animated.
00:05:02
I love that one. Okay, here's my first one. I'm not going to read you the subject line.
00:05:10
So it starts, Hi, I'm murder fam. Obligatory gush. Y'all are a comfort and kept me company through my divorce and this never-ending pandemic.
00:05:19
Okay, so when I was in my early 20s, I moved with three friends to Chile, the super skinny little country on the west coast of South America.
00:05:28
Thank you. Yep. I had a Chilean roommate after college and her visa was expiring
00:05:34
and it was the height of the recession. So I thought, sure, what can I lose? You're 20s,
00:05:39
am I right? I hardly heard of Chile. And before I knew it, I was moving there. So a month into
00:05:45
living in Santiago, my roommate and I wanted to get a better sense for the culture and explore
00:05:50
the area We stood out like sore thumbs as we about a foot taller than most Chileans And these two dudes gravitated toward us introduced themselves and sat down for drinks They were young cute and we had no friends and nowhere to be One of the guys said he knew a place where we could get more drinks
00:06:07
You guys, it was his parents' medical office. They were doctors, and he had a key to their office.
00:06:14
All right. That's adventurous. Juliet would be on board with that. Hell yeah. We stumble toward this office.
00:06:20
He lets us in and we drink and dance around exam tables and filing cabinets. Absolutely.
00:06:27
This is your 20s. Spoiled down. My roommate and I say we have to go and stumble home drunk off Pisco Sours around 2 a.m.
00:06:37
Around 3 a.m. I wake up to swaying and I thought the world was spinning. And it was.
00:06:42
We lived on the 10th floor of an apartment building and there was an 8.8 earthquake.
00:06:48
That's huge, everyone. It's huge. It's huge. Holy shit. 8.8. That's like top leather pops.
00:06:56
What was the 94 LA earthquake? 6.7. Something like that. It was between 6 and 7.
00:07:01
Yeah. This was an 8.8. Okay. Oh my God. The whole building shook. As a native Californian, I got my bearings and recognized that it was an earthquake.
00:07:11
I looked around to see if anything would fall on me and then promptly fell back asleep.
00:07:15
What? No. she's like anything hanging over this bed any chandeliers okay nighty night when i woke up at
00:07:24
the leisurely hour of 9 30 a.m i noticed our refrigerator was halfway across the kitchen
00:07:30
and my lights didn't work i checked my micro cell phone and noticed about a dozen missed calls
00:07:36
my chilean friend had called to check on us and the u.s embassy called about six times
00:07:41
yeah i bet back at home everyone's like freaking the fuck out right freaking the fuck out and i
00:07:48
love that that instead of them being like stuck somewhere trying to call the embassy the embassy's
00:07:53
calling them they're just like well we were kind of drunk so apparently my mom heard the news and
00:07:59
was blowing them up they told me to please call my mother so she would stop calling them oh my god
00:08:06
We later discovered the deadbolt to our front door had jammed and we were stuck in our apartment.
00:08:12
But all in all, we were fine. Oh, and those guys, we never chilled with them at the doctor's office again.
00:08:18
Stay sexy and call your mom back. Lauren, she, her. Wow. Yeah. Oh, my God. That sounds terrifying.
00:08:26
They're so lucky that nothing happened. I know. The 10th floor. Like, you don't want to.
00:08:30
But I think that's also the true magic of your 20s, where like, if you get drunk enough,
00:08:36
an 8.8 earthquake won't impact you that badly. I know. You still need your beauty sleep.
00:08:41
Yeah. And you're just going to be like, sorry, I'm just filled with Pisco or whatever.
00:08:47
Got to sleep it off. That's a good one. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer, Hyundai has its eyes
00:08:55
on the next generation of talent. The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14.
00:09:00
Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't make sense, rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust.
00:09:08
Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation, and Hyundai doesn't either. Hyundai has always moved the future within reach.
00:09:13
Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle. Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra-fast charging capability.
00:09:21
And Hyundai continues doing it every day. From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game, the future isn't some far-off concept.
00:09:29
It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye.
00:09:35
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Terms and conditions apply. See Pandora.net for more details. Goodbye. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace.
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00:10:46
Goodbye. Okay, this is a sad one. Okay. It's called Driving on Frozen Lakes. Hi, all.
00:10:56
Right into it. This is fascinating to me because it's something I never thought about because I live in California, but here it is.
00:11:01
Okay. Right into it. I live in Minnesota and grew up in a neighborhood on Lake Minnetonka.
00:11:07
Every winter when the lake freezes over with enough ice, locals plow roads on the lake so people can more easily drive across it.
00:11:14
People drive on the ice for all sorts of reasons, like setting up their ice fishing houses, getting from one end of the lake to the other, or for fun.
00:11:22
I remember driving on the lake all the time from my childhood, well into my teens.
00:11:26
We had two rules for driving on the lake. Always unbuckle your seatbelt and roll down the windows in case you need to get out.
00:11:33
Oh, so like in case the fucking ice breaks underneath you, like take the long way.
00:11:39
Take the long way. And yet it must make it really fun when you do it because you're like truly playing with fire.
00:11:46
The opposite of fire, frozen water. Back in January 2003 two high school students from the area Jacqueline and Evan were driving on the lake and their car went through the thin ice not too far from the shore Evan drowned in the car but Jacqueline was able to get out of the water onto the ice
00:12:05
It was reported that she walked about 100 yards from the spot their car went through
00:12:09
and crawled another 50 yards across the ice. She ended up dying of hypothermia on the ice near enough to be spotted the next morning by residents.
00:12:19
You fucking horrible. I was in second grade when this happened. And I remember my mom talking about it because she worked as a lunch lady at the high school at the time.
00:12:28
However, this apparently didn't convince my parents to change their ways because they taught me how to drive a car on the frozen lake when I was 15.
00:12:36
Thanks for reading. S. That's it. There was like those urban legends that you hear about of like the older high school kids who were out driving.
00:12:46
You know what I mean? I'm like, but then you wouldn't drive on the ice, but people still do.
00:12:49
It's crazy. Or I wonder if it's like seasonal where in the middle of the winter, you absolutely can drive on the ice because it's so thick and that it's just impossible happening. But like as it thaws, the risk gets higher and higher.
00:13:02
You never know year to year when that will be. Oh, it's still it's just so sad and sudden. And it is that thing where like when kids die of like terrible accidents in high school, it just everybody is affected by that. Like everybody. That's everyone's first big serving of like, oh, this could happen to you.
00:13:22
Tragedy. Totally. Totally. Horrible. So sad. OK, I'm not going to read you the subject line. It just starts friends. I have been waiting to write in for years about a few great stories I learned from family members that I harassed.
00:13:35
at holidays, and then in parentheses it says, per your asking. But I'm a writer who happens to be a
00:13:40
perfectionist, and I procrastinate, so you'll have to wait even longer for those. Sorry.
00:13:46
I've never related to an opening paragraph more in my life. But for now, I do have a story for you.
00:13:53
I was headed to work yesterday, late of course, and taking the exact route I always take.
00:13:58
I approached an intersection where a bunch of road closed signs were posted, and a worker was
00:14:04
moving traffic around. At first, I was furious because although in Michigan, we fix our roads
00:14:09
every fucking day, this was not a planned construction site. I rolled my window down
00:14:13
to ask this worker what was going on, and he simply replied, about an hour ago, a woman was
00:14:19
driving through the intersection and a huge sinkhole caved in right behind her. Holy shit.
00:14:26
She called and reported it to the police, and we're here to fix it. My response seriously blew his
00:14:31
mind. And I don't know why, because it seemed to be a normal response to me. Are you kidding me?
00:14:37
That could have been me. Damn it. He looked at me and said, are you mad? And I simply responded,
00:14:44
I'm a murderino. You wouldn't understand. I drove away thinking about how badly I wanted to be the one to witness that,
00:14:54
survive it and get to call the cops reporting a sinkhole. And then immediately my head went to
00:14:59
tell Karen and Georgia. Thanks for all your smiles, laughs, tears and reminders that I'm not
00:15:05
totally fucking weird for have loving all these types of things you share since I was a child.
00:15:11
You truly make me feel so much less weird knowing I'm not alone. SSD GM bitches, Sarah Bob, she her.
00:15:21
You did it. You did it though. Like you didn't even have to be there and you just wrote a great
00:15:25
email. And so you nailed it. And it was like, it was an email kind of about a missed opportunity,
00:15:30
but more importantly about your feelings, which we support and encourage. That's how easy it is, everyone. Write your stories in because they really,
00:15:38
truly don't have to be about anything. Yeah, for real. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer,
00:15:46
Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent. The future soccer stars who are
00:15:50
already turning heads at age 14. Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that
00:15:55
don't make sense, rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust. Because Next doesn't
00:16:01
wait for an invitation and Hyundai doesn't either. Hyundai has always moved the future within reach.
00:16:05
Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle. Hyundai did it by engineering
00:16:10
EVs with ultra fast charging capability. And Hyundai continues doing it every day. From robotics
00:16:16
that change how people live to young athletes changing the game, the future isn't some far-off concept.
00:16:21
It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye.
00:16:27
Pandora Jewelry brings the sparkle to summer, now with even better prices. Shop now for up to 50% off select jewelry
00:16:33
featuring personalized pieces to must-have summer favorites. Timeless jewelry made to move with you through every moment.
00:16:39
Shop in-store or online now through July 5th. Terms and conditions apply. See pandora.net for more details.
00:16:46
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That's how we live our lives. For summer clothes you will actually wear, there's Quince.
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Yeah, Karen's wardrobe is Quince. I'm a lazy basics person. And the things that I get from them, I always go, oh yeah, now I'm wearing these.
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They work, they're cute, they're stylish. And they're classy. Like it doesn't look lazy, it looks classy.
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And it's so affordable. Yeah. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash MFM for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.
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00:18:05
My last one's called Not Fair, which is trademarked. Youngest sibling stories. Okay, you ready for this?
00:18:12
I think you're going to like it. Okay. Y'all, but especially Blossom. Aww. I just finished listening to Minisode 347 about the youngest child sliding out of a roller coaster seat
00:18:22
when I knew I had to sit down, put off all my tasks and spin you a yarn. I was the youngest of four girls.
00:18:28
All of my sisters were tomboys. And while they were all two years apart from each other, perfect sibling age,
00:18:33
I was four years apart from my next older sister. We've talked about this many times.
00:18:39
It sucks. This combined with all the usual sibling dynamics meant I had to stay at home and play Barbies by myself
00:18:45
while my sisters went out to play on the canal and catch tadpoles and garter snakes with the neighborhood boys.
00:18:52
Did I want to reach my hands in the muddy waters trying to catch slimy, squirming amphibians?
00:18:58
No, I was the family's token girly girl and wanted to play princesses in my fairy costume.
00:19:04
But as any youngest sibling knows, if you want to be included and you so desperately want to be included, you do whatever boring big kid activities your siblings are doing, even if that means participating in things you as a tiny six year old are neither interested in nor equipped for.
00:19:20
can I just say when my cousin stevie who was I think five or six years older than me
00:19:25
started doing wrestling I think he was in junior high so I was six or seven that meant I started
00:19:31
doing wrestling Karen you could have been a professional fucking wrestler killer Karen like
00:19:37
I just remember having to like be on my hands and knees while he was like doing the thing where he
00:19:43
has one arm next to mine and he's like already I'm gonna count you in and then whatever and then get
00:19:47
ready we're gonna you're talking about like wrestling wrestling wrestling like grappling
00:19:51
wrestling so it's a little six-year-old like pick us up and slam us onto the ground
00:19:57
anyway i just relate that's cute i like that i didn't this milieu of injustice came to a head one summer day when my sisters announced they were
00:20:09
going to the canal to catch tadpoles and i wasn't invited i whined and begged and even petitioned my
00:20:15
mom to make them take me with them, but to no avail. So they left with their nets and Tupperware,
00:20:20
and my mom did what moms in the 90s did best and took a nap. Alone with my six-year-old rage and
00:20:26
no supervision, I thought, wait a minute, they're just walking down the street, which means I could
00:20:31
walk down the street, and if I'm big enough to get there by myself, surely I'm big enough to catch
00:20:35
tadpoles with the big kids. A foolproof plan, to be sure. So I walked down the road to the canal
00:20:42
where we usually played, but my sisters were nowhere to be found. However, there was another
00:20:46
group of kids playing in the water, so I didn't mind. Where were the parents, you ask? Oh, there
00:20:51
were parents present, but none of them seemed to notice or mind a rogue solo six-year-old who
00:20:56
showed up out of nowhere playing with their kids. All the 90s. Back at the house, my mom had woken
00:21:02
up from her nap when my sisters had come home with their haul of slimy things, only to realize I was
00:21:07
nowhere to be found. Turns out my sisters honestly had my best interest in mind and didn't want me
00:21:12
going with them because the canal they actually went to was bigger, faster, deeper, and further
00:21:18
away. Now, any mom would flip if they woke up from a nap and their six-year-old was gone,
00:21:23
but my mom was extra. My mom was the person who got me into true crime on accident by telling me
00:21:30
stories all my life of children being kidnapped and murdered, something she was extra sensitive
00:21:35
about because when she was little, her cousin, Debbie Kent, was taken from her high school by
00:21:42
a handsome stranger in a yellow bug and never seen again. She was a little girl right before
00:21:49
the Fort Lauderdale sorority house. Oh my God. That's her cousin. And so one of her four or five
00:21:56
little girls goes missing, she loses her fucking mind. Of course, as well she should. Wild.
00:22:01
So needless to say, when her baby seemed to vanish into thin air, she freaked the fuck out.
00:22:06
I don't know how they found me. Maybe they remembered how badly I'd wanted to go with the big kids and check the canal.
00:22:12
Maybe one of the other parents did notice the random six-year-old and started asking around.
00:22:16
Either way, no one told me. All I knew is one minute I was having a blast, finally playing with kids my own age.
00:22:22
The next minute I looked up to see my mom shaking, fistballed up, red face saying,
00:22:28
you get out of there and come with me this instant. In that low, scary mom voice they use
00:22:35
when they're too angry to yell. It's next level. It's so scary. My mom would do it with her teeth
00:22:41
clenched. So she would talk through her clenched. Oh my God, it was terrible. This was over 20 years
00:22:47
ago. So I don't remember what my punishment was. But I do remember I learned not to go wandering
00:22:51
down the road alone. And if your mom says you can't go play with the other kids, maybe there's
00:22:56
a reason. Thanks for all you do and the community you've created. Stay sexy and maybe ask questions
00:23:02
before going rogue, especially if you still need a car seat. Ren, she, her. There's like a really hilarious account on TikTok. Someone named Ellie Collins does this bit.
00:23:13
She does duets with babies getting in trouble and she shows up as the baby lawyer and she's like,
00:23:19
don't say anything. And then it's like the mom saying to the baby, like, did you play with the
00:23:23
makeup and the baby has makeup all over their face. And then, and then of course the baby's
00:23:27
going like, no, I didn't. And then the mom asks again and the lady lawyer's like, ask an answer.
00:23:33
Don't answer that. Whatever. Pretending she's coaching the baby. Oh my God. That's brilliant.
00:23:39
It's so brilliant. Do it. I like that. Okay. Here's my last one. It says trash mom story.
00:23:45
The trash mom story for once. I love it. A bit long, but so very worth it. It says,
00:24:00
of the tales of my trash mom from the 90s. Between the statute of limitations probably
00:24:04
running out and the fact that she died two years ago, it makes it finally okay to share these with
00:24:10
the world. Anywho, back in the late 90s, my mom stayed home all day to care for my little brother
00:24:16
before he was old enough to start school. During the day while my older brother and I were at school,
00:24:21
we assumed that she was spending most of her time on AOL or playing solitaire on the computer
00:24:26
that we had in our dining room. That sounds great. That's just what kids assume moms do all day.
00:24:33
Yeah. If you're not here, I turn off like a robot and just wait for you to return.
00:24:41
Okay. One day we came home from school and mom had informed us that she had won a brand new patio
00:24:47
set from an online contest for Better Homes and Gardens. How fucking great, right? Well,
00:24:52
this continued to happen over and over for probably about a year. We had a high top four seater table with chairs and an umbrella,
00:24:59
a six top outdoor dining table with chairs and an umbrella, the matching love seat swing set and a full on swing set with a tree house and
00:25:07
a slide play set thing for my little brother. At this point, my stepdad began questioning how many damn contests one person could win.
00:25:16
It was happening so often that he was getting irritated at being given very few details and only ever being told that she would just spend her days filling out surveys and winning
00:25:26
contests from Better Homes and Gardens website. Eventually, she won a riding lawnmower and we
00:25:36
really didn't have any more space in our yard for more patio sets. So no more prizes showed up after
00:25:41
that. My older brother and I found it to be pretty suspicious as well. But who are we to ask questions?
00:25:47
Maybe she was just buying them on a credit card that my stepdad didn't know about and it would all blow up in her face later.
00:25:54
Years went on and I continued to ask her about all the patio furniture because it was all pretty good stuff and it remained with us through several moves By the time I was about 21 years old I was telling all of this to a friend of mine and
00:26:07
he demanded that I ask her again how the fuck she got all this shit for free. I said that she
00:26:12
probably wouldn't tell me, but that I'd try. Later that night after work, I called her up and begged
00:26:18
for her to spill the beans on what she was doing to quote unquote win all these contests. Like,
00:26:25
there's no fucking way anyone is that lucky. And I was right. It turns out my mom would pack up my
00:26:31
little brother and then go down the road and pick up her friend's kids, also a toddler and too young
00:26:36
to be in school aged. And they'd make a trip to the local mega store to do the weekly grocery
00:26:42
shopping. My mom would fill up the cart and get everything we'd need and then check out through
00:26:47
the garden section as this area usually had shorter lines. And then as she was exiting the
00:26:52
garden center, she'd poke and prod all the boys and get them all riled up. So now this woman,
00:26:58
all of five foot two, maybe 130 pounds, is trying to push a heavy ass shopping cart filled to the
00:27:04
top with food and manage three rambunctious little assholes who are running around and yelling
00:27:09
and being generally chaotic. She goes over to the employee at the gate and says that she purchased
00:27:15
fill in the name of the patio set here and that she was told to just come up to the front and
00:27:20
someone would help her get it loaded into the truck. They'd ask to see the receipt and she'd
00:27:24
be shuffling around for it. But then the kids got worse and she'd have to stop what she was doing to
00:27:29
go manage them some more. Meanwhile, the person had already called over the employees in the back
00:27:34
to get this shit loaded into the truck. So she's still scrambling. And then by that time, they're
00:27:40
done loading everything in and the employee who asked her for the receipt gets the, oh, I already
00:27:45
showed it to the other guy i hope that's okay line and then everyone seems satisfied oh my god
00:27:51
she gets the kids loaded into the truck and quickly leaves this bitch was straight up stealing whole ass patio sets swing sets riding motherfucking lawnmowers The absolute madness of it all We all really shocked at how many times this actually worked for her
00:28:11
She said she did need to cycle through multiple different locations and times of day so that she didn't get caught.
00:28:17
And she never did. What the fuck? I think eventually she told my stepdad what she was doing and that's why it stopped.
00:28:25
or, you know, that you only need so much fucking outdoor furniture because it becomes ridiculous.
00:28:30
Yeah. I hope you enjoyed the story. My mom and I rarely got along, but when I need a good memory of her, this is usually my go-to
00:28:38
tale. Stay sexy and always remember to borrow someone else's kids when you're going to commit grand
00:28:43
larceny. Chelsea. Your mom was a klepto, but of like classy stuff. But still. I wonder if the first time it happened, the real thing happened.
00:28:54
And she realized that they loaded it in without her being charged for it. And then she was like, oh, my God, I could have anything in this area that I want.
00:29:02
Oh, my God. I thought mom was at home on AOL playing solitaire. No, she's committing grand theft larceny.
00:29:11
That's amazing. She stole a riding lawnmower. It's got to be like a couple grand, right?
00:29:16
I don't know how much lawnmowers are. Those things are like nine grand. Oh, my fucking God.
00:29:21
well thank you for sending in your trash mom story please send us your trash parent story
00:29:27
it's kind of funny the trash mom stories have a different feel yeah it's just kind of like oh
00:29:32
shit she's going for it like diabolical a little bit it is i like it all right mimi
00:29:38
you done stay sexy and don't get murdered elvis do you want a cookie This has been an Exactly Right production.
00:29:56
Our senior producer is Alejandra Keck. Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo This episode was mixed by Liana Squalachi Email your hometowns to myfavoritemurder at gmail And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and on Twitter at My Fave Murder
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That's stitchfix.com slash murder. Goodbye. If audiobooks are your thing, or if you've been meaning to listen to more of them,
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Goodbye!