00:00:00
This is exactly right. Isn't some far off concept? It's already here. Next starts now.
00:00:33
Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. When a charming neurosurgeon rode into Frontier Town
00:00:39
selling a persona of confidence and care, patients trusted him. He wore cowboy boots in the operating room
00:00:45
and became sought after by patients. He promised to heal them. Instead, he left a trail of broken bodies.
00:00:51
This is a story of greed, betrayal, and a fight for justice. Listen to Dr. Death the Cowboy wherever you get your podcasts
00:00:58
or binge the entire series right now only with Audible. Goodbye. Where does summer take you?
00:01:05
Maybe it's a coastal road trip or a quiet morning with the windows wide open. Summer smells like bright citrus, warm sand,
00:01:11
and endless possibilities. With Pura's smart diffusers and the new summer collection,
00:01:15
you can restore your sense of place and bring those unforgettable moments right into your living room.
00:01:20
Find your summer escape today. Visit Pura.com to learn more. Goodbye. My favorite murder
00:01:58
there you go you know that's for the turn and sometimes it's sweet sometimes it's salty uh
00:02:06
you want to go first salty sure sure here's some salt for you oh this is great okay i'm not gonna
00:02:13
read you the subject line it just says hey y'all my great-great-grandmother tilly was shot in the
00:02:18
head twice and survived what now that's how you start a hometown that's right oh tilly you can
00:02:27
Feel it. In January of 1922, Tilly got off a streetcar and fainted into her son's arms.
00:02:34
She had a bloody handkerchief held to her head, so he thought that she had been bludgeoned.
00:02:39
He immediately took her to the hospital, and after doing an x-ray, they discovered that she'd been shot in the head not once, but twice.
00:02:47
The streetcar conductor nor the passengers helped Tilly. They claimed they didn't know anything was wrong with her.
00:02:53
Some noticed that she was holding a bloody handkerchief over her mouth and nose, but they didn't think it was serious as she was relatively calm and was able to pay her fare without any issues.
00:03:04
Tilly's son had no clue what happened, but suspected that his stepfather, Daniel, was behind it.
00:03:09
Tilly and Daniel were estranged, hadn't lived together for years, and weren't on good terms.
00:03:14
While Tilly was unconscious in the hospital, the news broke that they found Daniel's dead body.
00:03:19
He'd also been shot in the head. They weren't sure if it was murder or suicide. Once Tilly started to improve, nobody told her about Daniel's death.
00:03:30
She wouldn't tell anyone what happened to her and claimed she didn't see Daniel the night she got shot.
00:03:35
A few days later, in the hopes of getting the full story, the authorities told Tilly that Daniel was shot, but that he was still alive and in critical condition.
00:03:44
Tilly confessed that she had written to Daniel asking for money to buy clothing for their young children.
00:03:49
He agreed to meet with her. After she got off work, she met with him and asked for the money.
00:03:54
He decided to shoot her instead. Unbeknownst to Tilly, he had then run into a nearby cottage and shot himself.
00:04:04
After Tilly was shot, she got on the streetcar and went home, where she was met by her son, who was waiting to walk her home.
00:04:11
What the fuck? Tilly was 52 years old when this happened and ended up living to be 97.
00:04:16
Wow. And then it says, what a badass survivor. I've been a longtime listener and love you gals so much.
00:04:22
Thanks for letting me and so many others know that it's okay to not be okay and for giving us the courage to take care of ourselves.
00:04:30
Stay sexy. And when people on the streetcar don't notice your double gunshot wound to the head, fuck them and survive anyway.
00:04:37
Okay, bye. Oh, my God. And it's signed Becky Sheehy. Wow. Tilly. Tilly. That's the kind of story that it's like you maybe read about it.
00:04:47
The idea that it's Becky's great, great grandmother. Yeah. It's like, holy shit.
00:04:51
And then she lived to be 90. That's fucking wild. Yeah. She's like, look, I have some stuff to do.
00:04:56
If you could stop interfering with my life, it would be great. Okay. This one's called I Worked at a Haunted Mall.
00:05:03
Perfect Christmas story. Hello, ladies. I love the pod. You too. And all you advocate for.
00:05:11
You've kept me company through many long commutes, and I appreciate that endlessly.
00:05:15
But let's get into the story because it's wild. In summer 2023, so just recently, I started working for an upscale furniture store that
00:05:23
was part of the mall. The mall has a history of creepy stories, but it's hard to imagine that when you're in
00:05:27
a beautiful new showroom with expensive furniture and ambient lighting. Until it's nighttime.
00:05:33
My first week, I was tasked with closing the shop. I was the only person working in a 30,000 square foot store.
00:05:40
Yikes. No. And I triple checked that I locked all the doors on my way out. I locked up at 8pm.
00:05:46
The next morning, I woke up to several missed calls from my manager telling me there was a
00:05:50
break in. I was confused and scared. And when I got into the store that day, I was prepared to be
00:05:54
fired Maybe I hadn locked the doors But this is where it gets weird My manager told me the alarms went off at 2 a for the side door where deliveries come in The police arrived and called my manager who drove to the mall
00:06:07
They searched the store. Nothing was taken. Nothing was moved. There's lots of expensive stuff and iPads, etc. that they could have taken, but not even a pillow was moved.
00:06:16
Here's the thing. The cameras caught two men coming into the store. But once they walked through the hallway, the deliveries come in at the back of the store where a long hallway leads into a main store showroom.
00:06:28
The cameras never see them again. It's like they disappeared and there was nowhere they could have went without camera detection.
00:06:35
They came in, set off the alarms, but never, quote, left. No other doors were ever open and there's no footage of them leaving through the doors again.
00:06:44
So did they just stay in the store? Naturally, I spent the entire next day at work walking around the showroom, checking behind and inside every piece of furniture.
00:06:52
Sure, they were waiting somewhere. Nothing made sense. The police dropped this case almost immediately, and my manager didn't bring it up again.
00:06:59
No one wanted to talk about it, and my coworkers didn't seem to really care. I couldn't stop thinking about it, though.
00:07:05
However, a few weeks after the incident, a customer came in and asked me, what time do you close at night?
00:07:10
I told him eight. when he replied, I was at the mall at nine a few days ago and saw two men sitting at the dining
00:07:16
tables near the front window. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. This is my favorite. So I thought you were open
00:07:22
later. I nearly vomited, was rightfully so freaked out. Weird stuff kept happening like lamps turning
00:07:29
off or artwork falling. My manager quit a few weeks later and I did too soon after. The pay was
00:07:35
not enough to work in a ghost hideout. Thanks for all you do advocating for women and always
00:07:40
remember to get the fuck out if your workplace is haunted. Bye, Catherine. Bye. Were they living in the rafters?
00:07:48
That's what I was thinking. You know, that series, Frogging, where it's like people that
00:07:53
live in the walls of other people's houses. It's like an advanced level squatting, essentially,
00:07:58
because the people still live there. And I mean, I think we've talked about this on the Minnesota
00:08:03
already, but the fantasy of living at the mall after it's closed and using the showroom as your
00:08:09
It's like your house. Yeah. So you're just like eating Panda Express at the really nice dining room table.
00:08:15
That's what I thought it was. But why would they do that when there's like still people there?
00:08:18
Nine o'clock at night. Yeah. Why would they risk? Risk being seen and not just not wait until all the lights are out or whatever.
00:08:26
Yeah, I guess that's true. So then they are ghosts, you're saying. Definitely ghosts.
00:08:31
Yeah. Ghosts are real in your face like that. Yeah. They'll just sit there and have dinner in front of you while you shop.
00:08:39
While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer, Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent.
00:08:46
The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14. Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't make sense, rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust.
00:08:56
Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation, and Hyundai doesn't either. Hyundai has always moved the future within reach.
00:09:02
Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle. Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra-fast charging capability.
00:09:10
And Hyundai continues doing it every day. From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game,
00:09:16
the future isn't some far-off concept. It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA.
00:09:22
Goodbye. Peace of mind can be hard to come by. Especially at 2 a.m. when your house suddenly makes a weird noise.
00:09:29
That's why so many people trust SimpliSafe to help keep their home secure. Traditional home security only alerts you after a break-in has already happened, and that's too late.
00:09:37
SimpliSafe is changing that. The system is customizable so you can build the one that fits your home and your specific needs.
00:09:44
A 24-7 professional monitoring is effective and affordable and won't lock you into a long-term contract.
00:09:50
Listen, Cookie is a really good watchdog, but she's not going to tell me what is actually going on,
00:09:54
if it's a raccoon or if it's a person looking through my windows. Like, you have to get this level of safety if you want to feel as safe as possible.
00:10:02
So you know what's going on. So I just feel safer with actually having something like SimpliSafe around.
00:10:07
There's a whole staff at SimpliSafe that's waiting to talk to you and help you out and tell you, no, you're fine.
00:10:12
It's a raccoon. Right now, you can get 50% off your new system by visiting simplisafe.com slash MFM.
00:10:18
That's half off at simplisafe.com slash MFM. There's no safe like SimpliSafe. Goodbye.
00:10:25
Pandora Jewelry brings the sparkle to summer, now with even better prices. Shop now for up to 50% off select jewelry featuring personalized pieces to must-have summer favorites.
00:10:35
Timeless jewelry made to move with you through every moment. Shop in-store or online now through July 5th.
00:10:40
Terms and conditions apply. See pandora.net for more details. Goodbye. Okay, the subject line of this email is reluctant hero dad and bonus treasure story.
00:10:52
Admiration for all. For my whole life, my dad has been a quiet, stoic, bearded man who speaks when it's necessary and keeps his life private.
00:11:01
Hey. He often intimidated my high school friends, which only brought him a little bit of glee because really he is a lovely human.
00:11:08
Years ago, while visiting my parents, I was being noisy looking through paperwork they left out on the table.
00:11:15
Underneath a pile of junk mail, I found a plaque honoring my dad for his heroism.
00:11:20
Confused, I asked him what in the world was this about? And he says, oh, nothing.
00:11:25
When my mom intercedes, your father saved someone trapped under a car. And then they say, what?
00:11:32
Dad, that's a big deal. Having not gotten much more than my mom's explanation, I had to drop the subject until
00:11:38
recently when I finally got the whole story. My dad worked for a company that laid pipes and did other roadside construction.
00:11:45
He and his crew of three were working on a job on the country back roads of our small
00:11:50
rural town when suddenly a car flies through a turn near the site flips over ejecting the driver from his window Dad and his crew ran to the young man now trapped under his car They worked together one calling the police one keeping the man calm and the others
00:12:06
moving the equipment in preparation to lift the car off of him. Once the EMTs arrived and my dad
00:12:11
working the backhoe slowly lifted the car, following the orders of the first responders
00:12:16
who remained with the victim monitoring his vitals. He told me they were in command. We just
00:12:22
did what they told us. Once the young man was in the ambulance and on the way to the hospital,
00:12:26
they found out that he was the brother of one of the EMTs. Crazy. What the fuck? Each member of the
00:12:34
crew that worked that day saved that young man's life. If they hadn't been working that day,
00:12:39
he would have been stuck under his car until someone passed on that back country road.
00:12:44
My dad and his crew were honored by the local fire department with a dinner and awarded plaques,
00:12:49
which my dad has never placed anywhere for others to see. He did now. Yeah, right.
00:12:54
Because my dad's job required him to dig any earth, I figured he would have some good treasure stories.
00:13:00
Besides the large collection of glass bottles he's kept, there were a few stories worth telling.
00:13:05
They found bones, thankfully no human ones, but they once found the skeleton of an entire horse.
00:13:11
Jesus. Oh. They buried their beloved horse and they're like... Raise it on up. Sorry, lady.
00:13:20
There have been times when they come across graveyards that were supposed to have been moved.
00:13:25
My dad gets particularly upset when those incidents have happened. But his favorite find was an old wooden water pipeline from the 1800s that was still functional.
00:13:35
Holy shit. Wooden. Wooden. Pipes made of wood. Pipes of wood. That's very Little House on the Prairie.
00:13:44
If this is read on the mini-sode, please remind everyone to slow down when driving through work zones.
00:13:49
I promise you all those people have someone who loves them at home. SSDGM, Delta.
00:13:56
And then after Delta, it says in parentheses, yes, you can use my name. That's a rad name.
00:14:03
Here's the last line. P.S. My dad's name is Mark. Yes. Wow, that's a good one. We got treasure and hero, Dad.
00:14:12
Like what more does one need? So good. Just good feelings all the way around on that one, Delta.
00:14:18
and you have one of the great names of our time. Truly. Wow. All right. Good one. You're on a roll. We're on a roll.
00:14:25
I have a hot dog story from a hot dog driver. Can you explain what you think a hot dog driver is? Or is that something that's known
00:14:34
and I just don't know what a hot dog driver is? It will make sense the minute I get into it.
00:14:38
Great. Just want to make sure. No, I wouldn't have known what a hot dog driver is.
00:14:41
Okay, good. I'm like, I'm from the country. We didn't have an ice cream man. We didn't get pizza
00:14:46
delivered we didn't have cable. Why isn't there a hot dog truck? Didn't you know they deliver hot
00:14:53
dogs at seven o'clock every night to people in the city? Amazing. Okay. Greetings, Karen, Georgia,
00:14:58
and the Franktastic MFM team. Hey, if hot dog stories are what you want, have I got a meat
00:15:06
treat for you? My first ever... It really is Christmas. My first ever job out of college
00:15:14
was driving the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. Oh, hot dog driver. There we are. Hot dog driver.
00:15:20
Thank you. How did I cut the mustard for this job? You ask? When I was a junior in college, I was contemplating what I would do after graduation
00:15:30
when a magazine came in the mail. The cover had the shiny orange and yellow Oscar Mayer Wienermobile
00:15:36
with two ladies about my age standing in front with huge smiles. Yeah, this is great. I don't
00:15:42
know how they pick these people. Do you? Like who to drive it? What kind of person would want to?
00:15:46
I would imagine it's whoever wins the great hot dog eating contest that they do every year.
00:15:52
Well, inside the magazine was an interview with the Wienermobile drivers, which I learned were called hot doggers. They were recent college grads with marketing slash
00:16:03
PR backgrounds. They traveled around the country in a hot dog shaped car that is 26 feet long and
00:16:10
says that's 60 regular hot dogs. Thank you for the measurement that I can understand.
00:16:15
Stopping along the way to attend parades, events, and hand out wiener whistles. I had found my calling. I read everything there was to read about the Wienermobile on the internet,
00:16:24
which surprisingly wasn't that much back in 2008. I learned that hot doggers are obsessed with puns,
00:16:29
so I used as many as I could in my resume. It worked because I got an interview. Or maybe I
00:16:35
should say audition. I had to sing the Wiener song and the baloney song on camera. Yeah, you did.
00:16:42
When you're in the Oscar Mayer Corporation, you're gonna dance. That's right. After college
00:16:47
graduation, I hit the road and traveled to 22 states and the giant hot dog. Great way to see
00:16:53
the country, right? I had to sign a contract that said I couldn't talk about it for seven years.
00:16:58
But now that my waiting period is up, I can tell you how the sausage gets made. You gotta be fucking kidding me. There's a seven-year NDA on that shit.
00:17:07
Crazy shit must go down in that Wienermobile if that's the case. I don't know if I'm okay with a seven-year NDA. It feels restrictive to the hot doggers.
00:17:15
It does. I gotta be in some cool events, including four St. Patrick's Day parades in the Chicago area,
00:17:21
the world's largest BrotFest in Madison, Wisconsin, several wiener dog races. Oh my god,
00:17:27
highlight, right? Oh, that's smart. That's good marketing. Yeah. The NCAA final four, which was
00:17:33
totally lost on me because go sports. But most days were spent standing outside of Walmart,
00:17:39
handing out coupons, answering the same three questions hundreds of times each day. No kidding.
00:17:44
Yeah. So here are the three questions. Where's my free hot dog? Answer. We don't have hot dogs in
00:17:51
the Wienermobile but we have free Wiener whistles a sticker and a coupon So shut the fuck up Question does this thing really drive on the highway Answer yes I drove it here from Madison Wisconsin myself Side note some people didn believe me that I
00:18:06
drove it. I guess they think you need a wiener to drive a wiener. You do not. Nice. I actually
00:18:12
like that one. Question, how fast does it go? Answer, it really hauls buns. Oh, this is like
00:18:19
your worst nightmare. I quickly discovered why Wienermobile jobs only last a year, even for a
00:18:24
young, energetic 22-year-old me, that shit was exhausting. We traveled in groups of two and lived
00:18:29
in hotels, usually a new location each week. The Wienermobile was our only car, so if we wanted to
00:18:34
go out to dinner, we had to take the big weenie, which would never attract attention, and we would
00:18:40
have to answer more questions and hand out more whistles after standing in front of Walmart all
00:18:44
day. You're never off the clock when you're a hot dogger. And good luck finding parking at the
00:18:48
local Denny's or whatever. Right? You're just trying to be low key. Maybe meet some people in
00:18:54
this town that you're in. And you're just like honk honk. It's us the hot dog girls.
00:18:59
People ask me all the time if I would do it again. And no, thanks. I'll leave it for the
00:19:03
youths. But it was an amazing experience and have some wonderful memories and the best ever fun fact.
00:19:09
Stay sexy and keep an eye out for the Wienermobile on the hot dog highways. Amanda, formerly known as Amanda Cheese. They have nicknames.
00:19:18
It's great to know that inside information. I feel honored to have learned that seven years after the NDA has been signed.
00:19:28
So few people have probably done that in the world. That's kind of special facts, right?
00:19:35
And don't you want a hot dog whistle now? Absolutely. Why don't I? In LA, I think it's just such a show business town that we don't get the hot dog.
00:19:44
They're like, oh, they're too jaded. They've seen it all. Untrue. Do you think they've trademarked hot dog whistles or can we have my favorite murder hot dog whistles?
00:19:53
I would imagine Oscar Mayer knows their business enough to have cornered the market on hot dog whistles.
00:19:59
Fair enough. They put in the work. We could do it like ours just don't have a bun.
00:20:03
Right. Just do it slightly differently. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer, Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent.
00:20:14
The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14. Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't make sense, rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust.
00:20:25
Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation, and Hyundai doesn't either. Hyundai has always moved the future within reach.
00:20:31
Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle. Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra-fast charging capability.
00:20:38
And Hyundai continues doing it every day. From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game, the future isn't some far-off concept.
00:20:47
It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye.
00:20:53
Peace of mind can be hard to come by. Especially at 2 a.m. when your house suddenly makes a weird noise.
00:20:58
That's why so many people trust SimpliSafe to help keep their home secure. Traditional home security only alerts you after a break-in has already happened, and that's too late.
00:21:06
SimpliSafe is changing that. The system is customizable so you can build the one that fits your home and your specific needs.
00:21:12
The 24-7 professional monitoring is effective and affordable and won't lock you into a long-term contract.
00:21:19
Listen, Cookie is a really good watchdog, but she's not going to tell me what is actually going on,
00:21:23
if it's a raccoon or if it's a person looking through my windows. Like, you have to get this level of safety if you want to feel as safe as possible.
00:21:31
So you know what's going on. So I just feel safer with actually having something like SimpliSafe around.
00:21:36
There's a whole staff at SimpliSafe that's waiting to talk to you and help you out and tell you, no, you're fine.
00:21:41
It's a raccoon. Right now, you can get 50% off your new system by visiting simplisafe.com slash MFM.
00:21:47
That's half off at simplisafe.com slash MFM. There's no safe like SimpliSafe. Goodbye.
00:21:54
Pandora jewelry brings the sparkle to summer, now with even better prices. Shop now for up to 50% off select jewelry featuring personalized pieces to must-have summer favorites.
00:22:03
Timeless jewelry made to move with you through every moment. Shop in-store or online now through July 5th.
00:22:09
Terms and conditions apply. See Pandora.net for more details. Goodbye. Okay, ready for this one?
00:22:18
It's actually similar. It says empty building, hidden nightmare. I've written a ton of times and assumed that I'm on a no-fly list and or too verbose.
00:22:27
So now I'm just sending them in for the fun of it. And that's the one we pick. yeah take that as a lesson everyone yeah don't take things personally and also don't never give
00:22:39
up never give up those are your lessons for this emailer make up new stories not makeup but think
00:22:44
of new stories if you're on a no-fly list you've conjured that probability in your mind then as my
00:22:49
therapist says you have to also think of four other probabilities right no-fly list too verbose
00:22:55
You crossed my cousin, Julie, one time, and I'll never forget it. And two more. Okay.
00:23:01
After that perfect introduction, it says, welcome to my diary. For nearly 20 years, I worked as a crisis intervention counselor and child protection
00:23:09
worker. The building we worked in was the city's first fire hall back when they used horses and was
00:23:15
creepy as fuck even during the day. So it's almost like a bad version of the Edendale Grill.
00:23:21
That's right. Edendale in Los Angeles is an old firehouse. It's rad. Oh, and now it's a bar restaurant that's like the greatest.
00:23:28
One particularly slow and dreary night, my co-worker and I were watching scary movies.
00:23:33
In the lull between the dialogue, we heard the muffled sound of a voice singing faintly.
00:23:39
Knowing we were alone in the building and had been for hours, we jolted upright.
00:23:44
Maybe it was the movie? Nope. Just a sing-songy voice over and over singing muffled words to a somewhat familiar tune.
00:23:51
My coworker was a bit of a chicken, so he stayed by the phone as I bravely crept down the hall with a police radio in hand to use.
00:24:00
a weapon towards what I assumed would be my death or demon possession. As I neared the dark,
00:24:05
unused back office, the sound became louder. Dry mouthed, I flung open the door, turned on the
00:24:11
lights and cleared the room like I'd seen on every law and order. And then it just says nothing.
00:24:17
Well, nothing except an old desk and a box beneath it filled with old toys. There was our culprit,
00:24:23
an old Fisher Price toy. One of the ones when you turn the dial, it sings a song to teach you about
00:24:29
farms and shit, playing old McDonald's very, very slowly. Still so creepy. Even though you know the
00:24:36
culprit, it's still the worst. Like, well, who turned it on? Great. So then they say, I grabbed
00:24:41
it, pulled out the batteries and threw it back in the box. Why were those batteries still working
00:24:46
after all this time? Totally. I don't know how much time has passed. I'm just putting that on
00:24:50
there. Okay. And then it says, I then backed away slowly just in case. You can't trust ghosts,
00:24:56
right? For a long time, we laughed about our ridiculousness. It was our leading embarrassing
00:25:00
story. Well, until the time we thought our office was under fire, but it was just pop cans exploding
00:25:05
in the freezer. Looking back, late nights, lack of sleep and exorcist movies were not a great trio.
00:25:12
Stay sexy and take the battery out of old toys. You'll save yourself a heart attack.
00:25:18
And it signed B, she heard them. I still am freaked out by that, even though it's so
00:25:25
explainable to me. It's still so like eerie that like, why? Yes. There's kind of no real reason it
00:25:32
should have been happening if you're thinking those are like donated toys. But also I bet you
00:25:36
B after going through that got a real boost of confidence because they actually were the ones
00:25:43
that were brave and went and checked it out. And their partner, some dude was like, I'll stay by
00:25:48
the phone where it's like, you can stay by the phone. That's your choice. But it's going to be
00:25:52
your choice permanently. This goes into the book of life. This goes to the final recording. So I'm
00:25:59
going to go and you're going to stay here. You're not going to go with me. Okay. All right. That's
00:26:03
your choice forever. Forever. Okay. My last one is short and stressful babysitting story. Hi,
00:26:09
friends And then parentheses says the murder ladies as my husband calls you Hi Hi You been with me for so long and I love you both so much On to the very quick story You asked for babysitting stories and I think you enjoy the absolute horror of this one
00:26:23
I'm writing some background out in a bulleted list for impact. One, I was 11, all caps, years old.
00:26:32
Oh no. Two, I was babysitting, all caps, twin preschoolers, all caps, and their one and a half year old
00:26:38
baby sister. No. So that's 11. That's like more than her age. She's babysitting.
00:26:44
You know what I mean? Yes. Three. I did this as a quote nanny for full days at a time that summer.
00:26:51
Four. I made $5 an hour. Five. They had the 90s glass Snapple bottles in the fridge and that made every single time worth it.
00:27:01
To an 11 year old for sure. So good. To put this in perspective, I'm now a parent and I have to pay one of our excellent babysitters $25
00:27:09
per hour. Times have certainly changed. So one day I was asked to give the baby a bath, 11 years old.
00:27:17
I told these rambunctious boys to play in their room and ran the bathwater. Not too hot. How
00:27:22
responsible. Then I naturally went to peek at the boys and see if they were still in the house.
00:27:27
When, drum roll, toddler locked both the main door to the Jack and Jill bathroom and the adjoining
00:27:34
door and pulled them shut. Oh, no. How? She was so small. You know why? Because she's the youngest.
00:27:42
The intent is chaos at all times when you're the youngest. I'll never, ever forget the moment I
00:27:48
realized I was just a kid and had no business being in charge of the situation. With the water
00:27:53
running in the bathroom, the fucking toddler stuck in there. I'm panicking. I'm panicking.
00:27:57
It probably happened 15 years ago. I called my heroic stay at home dad on the landline, of course,
00:28:02
who was waiting at the ready for this type of emergency. Because she's 11. Because she's 11.
00:28:09
He came over within about 20 seconds, magically picked the lock and saved the damn day.
00:28:13
Oh, fuck. He was always ready with a butterfly bandage, who needs stitches anyways,
00:28:18
or a ride to school when any neighborhood kid missed the bus. Or this time to save the baby from the running water danger situation.
00:28:27
When any kid missed the bus So good That so sweet Stay sexy and all caps call your dad and then it says and don leave the 11 year old in charge Love you all
00:28:39
Be no B. I think that's probably never going to happen. I think we actually have evolved to the point where we're like, yeah, children shouldn't
00:28:46
have adult jobs that actually could have real impact. Yeah. If anything goes wrong.
00:28:54
Right. And also the babysitter doesn't need to be babysat anymore. Like they're at an age where it's like you don't pick someone.
00:29:02
Can the babysitter fucking drive? Well, then maybe they're not the bargain that you think they are parent in 1989.
00:29:10
I don't know who I'm yelling at right now. Insane. Ugh. Also, home gym was a stay-at-home dad.
00:29:18
And he was a very good parent because he had eight brothers and sisters. And like more than half were younger than him.
00:29:25
So he had kind of got the training. Yeah. There's something very nice about a dad like that, like that idea that if you miss the bus, Mr. So-and-so will drive you to school and it's not a big deal.
00:29:36
So sweet. Yeah. So sweet. Yeah. It's really nice. Tell us your stay-at-home dad stories or stay-at-home mom stories, whatever.
00:29:45
Babysitting stories. Is it a story that if you're at a cocktail party and someone says like one word, you get excited because you're like, I got it.
00:29:53
I got this one. Have I got a story for you? Have I got a story for you is actually Georgia's just renamed the mini-says after eight years.
00:30:03
And having nothing to do with hometowns in at least five years. Now we have figured out what the name of this should be.
00:30:09
Have I got a story for you? Coming to exactly right. Thank you guys for listening.
00:30:16
If you celebrate, happy Christmas. Yes. And if you're just kind of chilling in the holiday season, happy holidays.
00:30:23
We hope you're having a very nice, relaxing kind of like some sort of bonding, some sort of human connection style experience.
00:30:31
Sure. Find one. Yeah. Do it. Do it. Or squirrel. Whatever's near you. Squirrel's great.
00:30:36
Dog. Dogs are good. Yeah. And also stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Goodbye, 2023.
00:30:45
Elvis do you want a cookie This has been an Exactly Right production Our senior producer is Alejandra Keck.
00:30:58
Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo. This episode was mixed by Liana Squalachi. Email your hometowns to myfavoritemurder at gmail.com.
00:31:06
And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and on Twitter at My Fave Murder.
00:31:11
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That's stitchfix.com slash murder. Goodbye. If audiobooks are your thing or if you've been meaning to listen to more of them,
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you should check out a podcast called Ear Say, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club, hosted by Cal Penn.
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Each episode spotlights standout audiobooks on Audible across all kinds of genres,
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sci-fi, comedy, romance, thrillers, and more, with Cal talking to guests who help break down what makes each story worth listening to.
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It's a fun, easy way to discover your next great audiobook. Check out Ear Say on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:33:05
Goodbye!