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00:01:35
Hello and welcome to My Favorite Murder, the minisode. The minisode. Little one.
00:01:50
Dun, dun, dun. You want to go first this time? Oh, yeah. I sure do. the subject line of this email is ancestor beheading in parentheses lighthearted and then
00:02:02
it says it says i mean for a beheading okay then it starts what's up bitches and then in parentheses
00:02:09
it says i'm sorry i got excited i love the show and i think of both of you as friends at this
00:02:15
point here is my story not long ago one of my kids needed to make a family tree for school
00:02:21
My brother had been creating one through the Ancestry website, so I popped over there to take a look.
00:02:27
After the schoolwork was done, I told my daughter to hit the road so I could really research into all this family stuff that I never looked at.
00:02:34
Of course, just wanting to see how long everyone lives and how they died. Most family was boring, and then parentheses, it says boring but old when they died, so yay for me.
00:02:44
Then I found one that was from 1664 that said assassinated. apparently grandpa was a politician who was part of one of the regicides that got king charles the
00:02:55
first executed and then years later an agent of the crown was sent after him then i saw that his
00:03:01
wife was lady alice lyle the last woman to have been executed by judicial sentence of beheading
00:03:08
in england holy shit and then in parentheses it says these two were quite the crazy couple
00:03:14
yeah short story in 1685 after the battle of sedgemore grandma agreed to shelter a non-conformist
00:03:22
and his friend and then in parentheses says i don't know two outlaws i guess in her barn and
00:03:28
the next morning she was arrested for harboring traitors lady lyle in like quoted quotes who often
00:03:33
fell asleep during the trial was found guilty and sentenced to being burnt at the stake oh dear
00:03:39
because it's the 1600s, but later changed to beheading due to her social status.
00:03:44
Her last night, she slept at the Eclipse Inn where they constructed her scaffolding outside
00:03:48
her room. I'm sure it was a great night's sleep hearing people build your beheading area for the
00:03:53
next morning. She stepped out of her window and was publicly executed the next morning.
00:03:59
After these two, the rest of my family's pretty tame. Thanks for all the funny moments when I
00:04:03
walk my dogs in the morning listening to you two. Stay sexy and don't fall asleep at your own trial,
00:04:08
M. E-M. Like Emily. Wow. That is wild. That's quite something to discover in your ancestry
00:04:16
where it's like, did you have that feeling that you had like murdered royalty in your family?
00:04:20
Or like a cool rebellious couple somewhere in your family. Like I bet they were fun to
00:04:25
have at parties, right? I bet. Did they have parties back then? Hell yeah. Seances?
00:04:30
That's rad. Wow. Okay. My teacher, the murderer. Three minute read. I'd love people do that. Hi, MFM crew. Love you all. Now let's get down to business.
00:04:42
In elementary school, my music teacher moved to Hawaii mid-year while her husband was on
00:04:46
sabbatical. This brought in a substitute teacher. I remember her as a typical elementary music
00:04:51
teacher, warm natured with a booming voice, but you better be ready to start singing your part
00:04:56
of a round and don't even think about tooting that recorder out of turn. Anywho, fast forward
00:05:02
a few years later, she had been arrested and charged with the murder of her husband.
00:05:06
My young murderino mind couldn't believe it. The short, short version is her husband had been cheating on her.
00:05:12
They were separated and he had an apartment in a nearby town. She went to the apartment to see him and his mistress was there.
00:05:19
Chaos ensued. And at some point she had got into the apartment. Her version of what happened next is that she felt in fear for her life,
00:05:27
picked up a paring knife and her husband came around the corner and ran into the knife at chest level.
00:05:33
In an interview with police, she said she only meant to hurt him. Although very short, the blade nicked his heart and he died within a few hours.
00:05:42
This crime rocked our college town community. It was a shocking and salacious story.
00:05:46
And you better believe I checked the newspaper daily as more details emerged. And that's the story of my teacher, the murderer.
00:05:53
On a personal note a heartfelt thank you goes out to you Karen and Georgia for being with me through life big ups and downs over the years Much love and SSDGM Jana she her
00:06:05
God, that's a really rough, connected hometown. Yeah. I mean, that's a real loss.
00:06:11
It's just sad all around. Didn't have to happen. Feels like it's that kind of, yeah, yeah.
00:06:16
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That's cachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A.com, code MFM. Goodbye. All right, this one is fifth grade fortune teller story.
00:09:33
Hey, y'all. I've been a listener since 2018 and routinely go back and listen to old episodes when I'm feeling
00:09:38
stressed. Y'all are the best. On with the story. I really love a clean, clear, direct compliment.
00:09:46
No frills, but really straight to the heart. Yeah, it's a good one. Actually, it wasn't a
00:09:51
compliment. She was just talking about her listening habit. Now I'm interpreting it as a
00:09:55
compliment. You got to take it where you can find it. Anywhere. On with the story. In a recent
00:10:02
Miniso, you told the story of someone attending a fifth grade classmate's birthday party,
00:10:06
which featured a fortune telling grandma. Well, I just so happened to be a fifth grade fortune
00:10:11
teller. My middle school had one higher learning level class in every grade, and this class
00:10:16
occasionally got special privileges. In fifth grade, that special privilege was box city.
00:10:22
For one week, our classroom was transformed into a miniature city of little businesses,
00:10:27
all housed inside refrigerator boxes. Sounds like a dream. Each student decorated their own box and
00:10:35
came up with a business plan for something to sell to other classes who could come into our city
00:10:39
and spend box city bucks on the various offerings. Some students brought their xbox and charged per
00:10:46
minute of playing time. Others sold homemade silly putty. Others painted fingernails. I being the
00:10:51
weirdo that I was told fortunes. Love that person. I spent my week in Box City in entirely too much
00:10:59
costume jewelry, pretending to read palms, staring into my crystal ball. Staring into my crystal ball
00:11:05
in a parentheses, it says one of those rotating multicolored party lights. Nice. That was the
00:11:11
crystal ball. And selling my collection of fortune cookie fortunes. I had an absolute blast, but there
00:11:16
were, of course, a couple moments of drama. The first was on the opening day of Box City. Our
00:11:21
principal mrs doyle a deeply religious woman took one look at my box clutched her pearls and said oh
00:11:26
no i can't be near that and scurried away i was utterly mortified the second bit of drama occurred
00:11:33
when i told a girl that she would only live to be 60 oh my god that's so funny just predicting
00:11:43
people's deaths in fifth grade she'd only live to be 60 and then parentheses it says reading
00:11:49
Thank you told me I had upset the girl She told me to tell everyone that they would live a long happy life from then on Box City was such a cool experience And I have to thank my teacher and my school for allowing us the opportunity to get creative and do something so unique Yeah
00:12:08
it's so cool. I love it. Except for the kids who weren't in the special education class.
00:12:14
Hi, I still resent not being one of the special smarty pants ones. Oh, this was like the AP students got to go and have this fun time.
00:12:24
That's what it sounds like to me. Oh, got it. I would not have been there. I wasn't.
00:12:30
It was thanks for all you do, ladies. Stay sexy and tell fortunes, even if you don't know what you're doing, Emily.
00:12:37
I love that. But wouldn't it have been great if all the students had had a chance to be creative?
00:12:42
No, not those ones that aren't smart enough to be creative. Yeah, the ones who haven't been getting enough attention to like grow their minds because they don't have the right start in life.
00:12:50
Yes. Or they're not eating breakfast correctly or like just basic shit. They're not sleeping because their parents are fighting all night.
00:12:57
Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm still fucking angry about that. I get it. You know what? Things are better now.
00:13:01
Are they? Well, let's tell ourselves that. Okay. Ask your sister. She'd be like, fuck no.
00:13:07
Survival story. Earthquake in a sinkhole. Okay. Yeah. Then it says, just kidding. Can you imagine?
00:13:15
You asshole. I'm in a fight with you. Give me the name. Hill, she, they wanted to stir shit up and get attention and it fucking worked.
00:13:26
Hill, you're in serious trouble right now. But that's actually hilarious. Let's see if Hill can...
00:13:31
An earthquake in a single. Just kidding. Can you imagine? Lying. It'll get you everywhere.
00:13:39
It's truly. Okay. It's not as flashy, but this is a great story about how my Catholic mom kept herself from
00:13:46
being swept up into a cult in the 90s. Yes. Three to four minute read. I feel like this is a longtime listener.
00:13:52
Like she knows how to. She knows to get in the door. Yeah. So my mom, Rita, became a dental hygienist in the late 80s and regularly worked for dental
00:14:00
practices that had those amazing employee incentive trips. Think tropical group trips during winter months if you hit your goals for patient retention
00:14:08
and satisfaction. These were very appealing since we lived in rural Indiana and my mom deserved a break
00:14:15
considering she worked full time and had three kids. a few years into her career early 90s at this point my mom was working for a dentist who offered
00:14:23
those trips we'll call him dentist bob bob was always very generous with his employees he and
00:14:28
his wife loved to host parties for everyone rented out water parks for family fun days oh shit and
00:14:35
of course there were those incentive trips can i get a fuck can we do that that's exactly right
00:14:40
does anyone want to hang out with their fucking like co-workers though no i don't think so but
00:14:44
I would say this. Doesn't this incentive thing sound a lot like Box City, where only the smart
00:14:51
kids get to go? You have to sell and be at the upper echelon, upper percentage to get to go to
00:14:56
any of these things. That's a very good point. One year, the staff were going to meet up in
00:15:01
Indianapolis the day before their celebratory tropical vacay and then catch a flight to Florida
00:15:06
together. This was the first time the arrangement had worked this way, but Indy was a three-hour
00:15:10
drive and the flight was early enough that it made sense. My mom could have booked a separate
00:15:15
flight, but then she would have had to pay for airfare herself instead of her boss covering it.
00:15:19
Never one to turn down a deal, she opted to stay overnight with the rest of the staff in
00:15:23
Indianapolis. So here we are. My mom settled in at the hotel and grabbed dinner with some
00:15:28
coworkers. At dinner, she found out that there was going to be a gathering in one of the hotel
00:15:33
conference rooms. Fun. Surely they'd be talking through the itinerary, sipping syrupy exotic
00:15:38
drinks and getting a sneak peek at the activities that were planned. When she got to the conference
00:15:43
room, she initially thought she was right. There were booklets laid out and her boss and his wife
00:15:47
were at the front of the room warmly greeting folks as they arrived. The door shut and it became
00:15:54
clear very quickly that this meeting had nothing to do with their trip. In fact, it was actually a
00:16:00
sales pitch for Scientology. Oh, no, you can't do that. No. Dentist Bob was giving it his all to
00:16:09
convince people to sign up or purchase courses or whatever the structure was at the time.
00:16:13
My mom, a all caps devout Catholic, put on a face pretending to listen. Despite looking engaged,
00:16:21
she was actually doing long division in her head to stay present without actually absorbing
00:16:25
information. Like even hearing it was like godless in her mind. Yes, right. She had to put up the
00:16:31
spiritual block. Yeah. One bit of information she did pick up on, they would not be flying to their
00:16:38
original destination in Florida. Dentist Bob had changed their destination to Clearwater. No.
00:16:45
It says all caps. Nope. Uh-uh. He fucking tricked them to get there and lied about where they're
00:16:52
going. To try to convert them to his religion. It's a religion, even though people call it other
00:16:58
things, according to the IRS. That's your boss being like, you have to come and be Catholic with
00:17:04
me. It's so inappropriate. That's right. My mom waited until dentist Bob had finished his song
00:17:09
and dance, politely excused herself and rushed back to her room as naturally as possible.
00:17:14
She called my dad to let him know what had transpired and then drove several hours home
00:17:18
alone in the dead of night on icy winter roads. She got home safe and quit the practice immediately.
00:17:25
From what she recalls, only one fellow hygienist ended up going to Florida. So someone did say okay to this. That person made it back home after the trip,
00:17:34
slightly surprising to me, lol, and ended up being a part of Scientology for 18 months or
00:17:39
something before getting out. Rita maybe could have done more to fuck politeness,
00:17:43
but I'm glad she made it out with a great story and no actual bad stuff. No, she did great.
00:17:49
Yeah, she did. You just got a tiptoe out of there. She could have gone like, Oh,
00:17:52
I'm still going to go to Florida because I want to trip. Yeah. And then they had like her information It could have taken her just the 18 months after coming back to get out Because they dogged They go after people Absolutely Yeah She the youngest of 10 children
00:18:06
So she didn't need any more trauma. Stay sexy. Floss when you can. And don't let your boss take you on a vacation to the Scientology mothership.
00:18:16
Smooches. Hill. She. They. So don't you forgive Hill a little, right? Entirely. That was a great email.
00:18:22
No, I just wanted to explain of how an earthquake could go into a single, but that's separate. It's fine. It's that'll be a different.
00:18:30
Listen, if you have that actual story, write in my favorite murder Gmail or anything similar.
00:18:35
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Where to next? Goodbye. Here's my last email. Hot dogs and unattended children. Hello, MFM ladies.
00:21:45
Oh, sorry. That was the subject line. Obviously, I'm not just saying that to you.
00:21:49
Hello, MFM ladies. Every time you two mention hot dogs, I'm reminded of one of my fondest memories as a child in the early 90s.
00:21:56
My sister Kayla and I spent a lot of time with our neighbors, two boys named Hans and Franz.
00:22:01
Those don't seem like real names. Those are from a sketch on SNL. But let's see how this goes. Usually we would play outside, jumping on their trampoline. And then in parentheses, it says, not the safe kind kids have today. It was placed over sharp gravel, didn't have a net, and their pet Rottweiler used to try to bite our legs if we slipped through the springs. Yikes.
00:22:24
There's a fucking Rottweiler. It's like a fire pit underneath. and the floor was lava.
00:22:30
But today was a different day. I'm still unsure of why my parents were not around on this day,
00:22:35
but Hans and Franz took full advantage of our freedom. They asked us to get a hot dog from the fridge
00:22:40
and we followed them to my parents' room. They stood on the bed, asked my sister to turn the fan on to its fastest setting
00:22:47
and triumphantly held the hot dog up to the speeding fan blades. Suddenly, chunks of hot dog were flying all over my parents' bedroom.
00:22:55
The four of us cheered as we were showered in fan-sliced tube meat. Though my sister and I cleaned much of the hot dog up, my parents came home to find chunks stuck in the window blinds, in their bed, and on various pieces of furniture.
00:23:10
I don't think my sister and I were punished after that stunt, other than having a stern talking to.
00:23:16
But the four of us were not allowed to play inside unattended again. Yeah, this is how the parents have to learn.
00:23:22
Right. Thank you, Karen and Georgia, for your podcast and using your platform for good.
00:23:27
You make the world a better place. Stay sexy and don't let neighbor boys talk you into hot dog related stunts.
00:23:33
Sarah D. Who came up with that idea? I think that is the special education department of whoever thought of that brilliant idea.
00:23:40
I mean, here's the first thing that comes to mind. Hans, let's say it was Hans. He's laying on the living room floor.
00:23:46
It's a hot summer day. His mom has the fan on. He's staring up at it. And all of a sudden he's like, you know, it'd be great to use this thing.
00:23:52
in the way it got intended, cutting hot dogs. I love that everyone cheered. Everyone was like, oh no, this is a bad idea.
00:23:58
Everyone was like, yes. As a child, that's the funniest best thing you've ever seen.
00:24:03
The most. Okay. This one is my last one. It's a bit of a tearjerker. It says, I think you missed this winky face, meaning this is probably their second time.
00:24:14
And it says, ghost dog story, bittersweet. Hey, ladies, love the show. I know you enjoy a good ghost story and you're both dog lovers.
00:24:22
So I think this has a bit of everything for you. This past January, my husband, Gabriel, and I had to make the difficult decision to put
00:24:28
our loving miniature schnauzer Gio to sleep after a rough battle with cancer. He was a real trooper
00:24:35
right up to the end, but we knew it was time for several reasons. For those that have had to put a
00:24:39
pet to sleep, you'll remember the days shortly after where familiar sounds in the house make you
00:24:44
instinctively expect your pet to come around the corner or jump on the couch. And then a deep pain
00:24:50
when your brain catches up with reality and you remember they're gone. Well, Gabriel and I were
00:24:56
definitely living through that phase when one early morning both of us were asleep.
00:25:01
Gio's sister Chloe was sleeping at the foot of the bed like always. Somewhere in my dreams,
00:25:06
I heard a solid thud thud, the unmistakable sound of Chloe's front paws landing on the carpet,
00:25:12
followed by her back paws, like jumping off the bed. I opened my eyes and immediately looked to
00:25:16
the foot of the bed, assuming it was time to get out of bed to let Chloe out to the bathroom.
00:25:21
But there she was, curled up in a ball, quietly snoring. At first, I thought I had dreamt the
00:25:26
whole thing up, but I looked over and Gabriel was also wide awake. Without missing a beat, he said,
00:25:32
that was Geo jumping off the bed. Gives me chills just typing that. We were both stirred from our
00:25:38
sleep because we both heard the familiar sounds of furry paws hitting the carpet and it definitely was not Chloe Later in the day we reminisced on what had happened and both of us admitted that several times we had felt the soft tug of the bedsheets at night
00:25:53
as something made a few lazy circles before lightly flopping into place. We had both explained it away to ourselves as just a figment of our imagination,
00:26:01
but after sharing that morning experience together, we have no doubt it was little Gio just enjoying his favorite spot on our bed.
00:26:10
Since then, my husband and I have experienced moments where we see Gio's shadow from the corner of our eye
00:26:16
or think we hear Chloe coming to jump onto the couch only to realize she's already nestled into the cushions.
00:26:22
It just goes to show that our little pets are deeply empathetic creatures that create such a strong bond with us when they are alive.
00:26:29
And when they leave us, I think in some cases, they might just stick around for a while to enjoy our presence and us theirs.
00:26:37
Give your little guys much love and take care, John. Isn't that sweet? Also, I think the habit and routine you get into with your pets, that happens to me a lot when I leave town.
00:26:51
And then I just don't like walking from room to room without two dogs following me everywhere.
00:26:56
or whatever, where you're just like, oh, that is part of what, especially because of quarantine,
00:27:00
it's just like part of what you do. And then like a pet dies and you're like, oh, we're not doing
00:27:05
that anymore. It's hard. I always expect when I'm like, when I'm away in a hotel or whatever,
00:27:09
and I'll think to myself, I'm going to be so happy not to have cats in my bed tonight and
00:27:13
like get to sleep without a bunch of cats. And then I do. And I'm like, this is lonely.
00:27:18
Yeah it sucks I like feeling a little furry being sleeping next to me besides Vince well that was a great batch That contained all of the experiences of the human experience
00:27:32
Yes, it did contain a lot of experiences. Hey, email us your experience at myhavoritemurderatgmail.
00:27:39
Tell us stuff. Have you ever had any experiences? Any at all, really. Cat, ghost, sinkhole, earthquake, anything you want.
00:27:46
Anything. Also stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie?
00:27:53
Yeah. This has been an Exactly Right production. Our senior producer is Alejandra Keck.
00:28:05
Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo. This episode was mixed by Liana Squalachi. Email your hometowns to myfavoritemurder at gmail.com.
00:28:14
And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and on Twitter at My Fave Murder.
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