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Default terms at MintMobile.com. Hello! And welcome! To my favorite murder. The mini-sode.
00:01:58
Yep. Yep. You agree? I think so. Okay, well, think about it and get back to me. Circle back whenever you have a chance after the holidays.
00:02:07
In the meantime, should I read you a story? Mm-hmm. Okay. Should I go first? Yeah.
00:02:14
Please do. Okay, this is called Family Vacation Turned Claustrophobic Escape Mission.
00:02:20
Karen, Georgia, and co, y'all have been my constant companions for years, and I can't believe I'm just now writing in.
00:02:26
During a recent catch-up on minisodes, I heard you ask for disaster vacation stories.
00:02:31
So here's mine. In the mid-zero-zeros, what was that? Odds? Odds, yeah. I like mid-zero-zeros better, though.
00:02:39
Mid-zero-zeros. Mid-zero-zeros. My family went on a trip to Prince Edward Island.
00:02:45
My little sister and I, insufferable pre-teen book nerds, were hoping to see every place mentioned
00:02:50
in Anne of Green Gables. My dad had other plans. His goal was to visit all the lighthouses on the island.
00:02:58
There are over 50. Oh, Jesus Christ. That's a lot of driving around on a vacation.
00:03:03
To get out to a point, the end of a jetty. To look at a fucking thing, yeah. To look at a similar thing over and over.
00:03:10
Exactly. On a drive to the capital city of Charlottetown, or Charlottetown, Charlottetown probably,
00:03:16
our dad spontaneously took us to check yet another lighthouse on his list. We were the only people there when we arrived, so we went to take a couple photos.
00:03:24
My sister and I had long since clued into the meaning of the phrase, if you've seen one, you've seen them all.
00:03:30
So we weren't too keen to stay for very long. We were about to ask our parents to leave when they saw two college-aged girls trying to climb up from the rocky shore with their bicycles.
00:03:41
My dad asked if they needed help, and boy, did they. Turns out they worked for a cruise ship that was docked in the city.
00:03:48
And since they had the morning off, they asked a local boat guy, and it says, Captain, to ferry them across the bay so they could bike back into town on the scenic shoreline.
00:03:58
When they got halfway across the bay, the boat guy turned off the engine and began pressuring them to drink and take off their clothes since it was so hot.
00:04:07
They were stuck for hours with this creep on open water before he finally brought them to the lighthouse.
00:04:13
He boasted that they would come crawling back to him because he was their only way back to the city dock before their cruise ship left.
00:04:21
Fucking asshole. I know. The lighthouse was so remote, there wasn't a visitor center where they could get help or any other houses or businesses, and no one had a cell phone.
00:04:31
The girls frantically asked us if we could drive them somewhere and call a cab, and it says, and the police, to come get them.
00:04:37
My mom and dad took one look at these two young ladies and, with two daughters of their own, decided that calling a cab wasn't going to cut it.
00:04:45
We had no choice but to drive them back to the city dock ourselves. The only problem, our rented two-door Mini Cooper, which was already fit to burst with a family of four.
00:04:56
undeterred my handyman dad was able to and then it says dismantle their bicycles
00:05:03
to fit in the trunk while my mom squished the girls and me in the back seat and then
00:05:08
shoved my little sister on the floor of the passenger seat between her legs she's gonna get that momming done she is not no girl left behind because of a douchebag man
00:05:20
exactly to this day i'm still not sure how we all fit we must have broken countless unknown
00:05:25
Canadian traffic laws, but we got the girls back to their ship with time to spare and to write a
00:05:30
police report, hopefully. They even bought us t-shirts from the cruise gift shop as a thank you.
00:05:37
Looking back on the story, it makes my skin crawl to imagine how badly things might have
00:05:41
gone for those girls if my family hadn't been in the right place at the right time.
00:05:45
Stay sexy and rent an SUV, Abigail. For real. God. Abigail, I love that your parents are the kind of people that like,
00:05:53
oh we are not only just going to get involved we going to make this work Yeah Because who knows what would happen if they left them behind and then the guy came back you know Yeah like Ugh Ugh
00:06:05
Gross. Gross. All right. Keep your eyes out for those boat guys. Hey, if you have any positive boat guy stories, we're here to read them to counter this fucking bullshit.
00:06:16
We know. We know there's positive ones out there. We know there's great boat guys out there.
00:06:20
Okay. my first one subject line it's the one you've been waiting for i may have babysat for witness
00:06:27
protection program kids question mark oh that's good and then it says hello good people and pets
00:06:34
i've been wanting to write in with this story for a long time and when i heard the story on episode
00:06:39
454 about the 1978 liftanza heist i knew the time was right i grew up in a small appalachian city
00:06:46
in the 80s. When I was a teenager, a new family moved in down the block, and as I had a monopoly
00:06:51
on the neighborhood babysitting jobs, it wasn't long before they hired me to watch their four kids.
00:06:58
About a month after they moved in, and during what turned out to be my last babysitting gig with them,
00:07:03
the youngest kid, three or four years old, told me about how they had to leave their old house
00:07:08
really fast in the middle of the night and couldn't take anything with them. She ended it with,
00:07:13
And then we came here. While she was telling me this, the eldest, maybe 10, got a stricken look on his face and was doing everything he could to get her to stop talking.
00:07:24
Oh, no. That's my sister and I all our lives, but we were not in witness protection.
00:07:30
Just shut up. Just shut up. Being a kid myself, I'm sure I thought it was just some weird toddler nonsense and didn't really give it a second thought.
00:07:38
until a couple of days later when I realized they were gone and the house was empty.
00:07:46
Those poor kids. I know, those poor kids. It was then in my 14-year-old budding murderino brain,
00:07:53
I decided that I had probably babysat for a witness protection program family. I was convinced the 10-year-old told his parents everything that went down
00:08:01
and they hightailed it out of there. I was so freaked out by this notion that I didn't tell anyone this story
00:08:07
until just a few years ago in case the mob came looking for me. Of course, I don't know that they
00:08:13
were really in the witness protection program. Maybe they just woke up one morning and decided
00:08:18
my town sucked and they couldn't wait to leave. I guess we'll never know. Stay sexy and don't
00:08:23
blow your cover. R. And then it says, name withheld because, you know, the mob. Oh my God. Are you the 10-year-old or the two-year-old listening right now? And was that you?
00:08:34
And yes, indeed, you were in the mob. Or no, maybe not in the mob, but you know what I mean.
00:08:39
Please email us. Can you imagine? Were you a witness protection family? Like, tell us.
00:08:45
We need to know the details. And I know that you're going to say it's way more boring than you think it is.
00:08:49
God. But we need to know. Also, untrue. It's boring to you because you already went through it.
00:08:55
It wasn't all day, every day excitement. But compared to walking around in a field full of cows, it's way more exciting.
00:09:03
I assure. Oh, man. That 10-year-old has chronic anxiety now. I guarantee it. like to return to a story that shaped his life channeling his memories of river phoenix in the
00:09:38
recording booth and why the friendships you have at 12 might be the most important ones you'll ever
00:09:44
have i know gordy lachance i am gordy lachance like i mean even when i was a little kid i was
00:09:51
gordy lachance when i didn't know it listen to earsay the audible and i heart audiobook club
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00:10:27
Some products contain allulose. See nutrition info on Hero.co for sodium and sugar content.
00:10:30
Why is it always chaos when we link up? Because nobody plans anything, bro. Good thing the Rogue's ready like that.
00:10:36
For real. Rain, dirt, whatever. Available all-wheel drive. Five modes. We still outside.
00:10:42
And they got some kick too. That turbo? Torque is crazy. The most in its class. It moves, moves.
00:10:48
Rogue doesn't mess around and peep the space. Merch on merch. Gear. Mikes. All of it fits.
00:10:54
Load up. We out. 2026 Nissan Rogue. Built for all of it. Auto Pacific Segmentation, 2026 Rogue vs. Latest in-market competitors in the ex-SUV Mainstream
00:11:05
Midsights class, excluding electrical vehicles based on manufacturer websites. My mom's third man experience. Hey guys, I just heard Georgia's story about third man syndrome,
00:11:17
and my hands are shaking as I write this. I haven't even finished the entire episode yet,
00:11:21
but I have to tell you about how my mom's life was saved by her deceased father.
00:11:25
Years ago, my mom, Joyce, was working at a Target store on the receiving dock in the back corner of the stockroom.
00:11:32
Joyce is such a mom name, isn't it? Such a mom name. From like 1987. Yeah, it's good.
00:11:37
She was literally standing in the corner by herself, counting items on a pallet when she felt a massive shove from behind that pushed her away from the corner.
00:11:46
She turned around to say, hey, what the hell, to realize no one could have been behind her.
00:11:51
Her back was up against the wall. just then an entire pallet full of extra shelving fell from the top shelf in the stock room near the ceiling Holy shit It landed right where she had been standing Turns out there were employees in the
00:12:06
next aisle trying to add items to that top shelf and hit the pallet of shelving, pushing it off
00:12:10
the other side. Guys, come on. The security guard had seen it happen on the screen in her office
00:12:17
and came running back to grab my mom and say, we almost lost you. There's no explanation for what
00:12:23
pushed mom and no one else was in that aisle with her on the security camera. Her parents had passed
00:12:28
away maybe a year before this and she says she knows for certain it was her dad that saved her.
00:12:33
My papa was an amazing man and I thank him every day for saving my mom. Thank you for your amazing
00:12:39
podcast that gives all of us humor and hope. Stay sexy and thank you guardian angel papa Anastasia.
00:12:46
Oh my god Anastasia I love that one. the like surety that it's her dad is like so like got me choked up yeah you know where it's just like
00:12:57
she's like my dad shoved me like every other day my dad was a big pusher a constant i love to stand
00:13:03
under things like pianos that were dangling out of windows i can't tell you how many times he
00:13:08
shoved me out of the way of danger and did it one more time i knew that familiar feeling but also i
00:13:14
want to know if that security guard that saw it on the on the camera saw the shove where it's all
00:13:19
sudden she goes like that. Totally. Me too. That'd be cool. Okay. Anyway, the subject line of this
00:13:25
email is Hells Angels used to pick up my mom from school. Gals, gals, gals, it's time. I've arrived.
00:13:33
I can finally tell the story and I know you'll get it. I've been here since 2016. UK listener,
00:13:39
you got me through it all. We're grown. Let's go. I know. In episode 450, you talked about the
00:13:47
Hells Angels, and yass, I can finally share my mom's ridiculous connection to them. Back in the
00:13:58
70s, my granddad, my mom's dad, was well known in the northeast of England, first for being a prize
00:14:04
fighting Irish boxer. Yeah, right? I kind of want to look that up. But also in his later years as a
00:14:11
respected pub landlord. When my mom was around seven or eight, he decided to branch out and
00:14:16
purchase a well-known wine bar that had fallen on hard times. What he didn't know is that this bar
00:14:22
was often frequented by the Hell's Angels. A wine bar? A wine bar. That's so classy.
00:14:28
And it was their base for dealing cocaine. That's why. Oh, no. That's why. They're bringing the
00:14:33
cocaine where the people who buy cocaine are, the wine bar. That's right. The people who have
00:14:38
Money for cocaine. Yeah. The wine bar. Oh, my God. But also kind of hilarious. We were like, do you want to go wine tasting and then just get insanely wired and talk about plans?
00:14:47
Let's do it. They end that sentence with, and was their base for dealing cocaine?
00:14:53
Terrific. He tried many different ways to turf them out, including installing mirrors on the wall so he could see everything they were doing.
00:15:00
But mysteriously, they would always end up smashed. This went on for a while until one day my granddad remembered that if you can't beat him, join him.
00:15:10
No, he didn't become a hell's angel. Instead, he freaking employed them. He made a deal with the head of the gang, and then in parentheses it says, is that the right term?
00:15:19
That if they stopped dealing from his bar, he would give shifts to each of them as doormen.
00:15:24
Wow. Right? They were happy to accept the work, and it kept the bar safe, too. After that, because that bar was filled with wired lunatics with a bunch of money.
00:15:36
Drunk on shitty red wine, probably, back then. Beaujolais and shit. Oh, my God. You know that gorgeous vintage of wine that's from northeast England?
00:15:46
That just turns your teeth purple? Yeah, and gets you swinging. Okay. Well, after that, my granddad started to get on well with their gang leader,
00:15:55
a terrifying guy called Jungle Jim. Jungle Jim. who would frequently give my mom a ride on the back of his Harley.
00:16:03
Jungle Jim, I get it. Jungle Jim. Jungle Jim. Jungle Jim. So my Dave Demo, our family friend who was my age, used to call my dad Jungle Jim.
00:16:13
Oh my God, I love it. He thought it was the funniest. Jungle Jim used to frequently give my mom a ride on the back of his Harley
00:16:19
if he ever saw her walking home from school alone. She said she was never scared of him and he kind of resembled a goth Santa Claus.
00:16:26
I can see it. That's perfect. Totally. Anywho, I never got to meet either of my mom's parents
00:16:34
as they died young, but gosh, I wish I had the chance. My mom is an incredible human being,
00:16:39
despite a chaotic childhood, but I will say that my murderino tendencies are down to her
00:16:44
as she let me read James Patterson since I was about nine. I now work as a life coach, helping people find joy in these dark times and often listen to the podcast whilst I'm creating slightly more lighter content.
00:17:00
Keep going, gals. We will. So thankful for stumbling across you all these years ago.
00:17:07
Stay sexy. Meg. Meg, can you coach my life, please? Meg. You're fun. You sound fun.
00:17:14
Meg, you're a fucking legend. you're from first of all from what I'm gathering and I could be wrong
00:17:21
it sounds like an Irish prize fighter fell in love with a British lady and moved to her
00:17:27
side of town which is like scandalous ultimate Romeo and Juliet come on totally oh my god
00:17:34
love it that's fun that's great that was a great one hey everyone it's Cal Penn I'm the host of
00:17:42
Earsay the audible and iHeart audiobook club. This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter,
00:17:50
the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook Project Hail Mary, massive sci adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone very far from earth I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that
00:18:06
frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections and it's like,
00:18:11
okay, yo, yo, yo, is this indulgent? And I really thought about it. I was like, no,
00:18:14
at this point it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have
00:18:20
in telling this story if I don't go through it. But there's places in this book that deeply emotionally affected me,
00:18:28
and I left it on the mic. That's great. Because it served the story. People will say like,
00:18:33
oh my God, I cried at the end. It's like, yeah, dude, me too. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club
00:18:39
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00:19:43
Bro, from the show last night to this drive, why is it never chill? Because this is our life. Backstage, on the road, it's loud, messy, real.
00:19:53
And that's the best part. Whole crew, no plan, just moving. Good thing Nissan builds for that kind of chaos.
00:19:59
Not just test tracks, real life scenes, late nights, road trips, all of it. That's why it holds up. Nissan was ranked number one in initial quality among mainstream brands by J.D. Power.
00:20:10
Yeah, you can tell. 2026 Nissan Rogue built for what really happens. For J.D. Power 2025 U.S. Initial Quality Study Award information, visit jdpower.com slash awards.
00:20:22
Awards based on 2025 model year. Newer models may be shown. My last one is called Dog Snitch.
00:20:30
And it starts, Howdy. A couple years ago, after much begging from our kids, we added a beagle mix with a gentle demeanor and fantastic eye makeup.
00:20:40
Picture attached to our family named Turbo. This story also involves my son, who has sensory processing disorder and will often put things that are not food into his mouth.
00:20:52
His favorites are small objects like buttons and coins. You know, stuff that makes mom freak out when they're in a four-year-old's mouth.
00:21:00
Yeah. We had Turbo for about six months when one night he was scratching and barking at our son's door after bedtime.
00:21:07
Usually Turbo is pretty chill, so I assume the most obvious thing. My son has snuck a Lego or something into his room to chew on and is now choking to death.
00:21:16
And the dog is telling me to get in there and help now. I rushed into the room, Turbo at my heels to see my son looking surprised and guilty with half a candy bar in his hand.
00:21:29
I stood in the doorway, scolding him for sneaking food into his room. And Turbo took advantage of the moment to run in, snatch what was left of the candy bar and scarf it down as fast as doggily possible.
00:21:40
I went in thinking we had adopted a hero dog to realize that he was a snitch who would sell you out for half a chocolate bar.
00:21:47
Hell yeah. Fortunately, Turbo suffered no ill effects and the only stitches he got was from a hernia surgery a year later.
00:21:55
Get it? Snitches getting stitches? Oh, yeah. Stay sexy and hide your chocolate. Meg's she-her.
00:22:01
Oh. Another Meg. Yeah, two Meg's in a row. That's good luck. Oh, here's Alejandra with the photo. We'll put it up on Instagram and everywhere.
00:22:08
Oh, let me see. Let me clicky. It's a gorgeous dog. Oh, my God. That eyeliner is simply incredible.
00:22:15
Truly. Is it tattooed on? I mean, that's just... Bring that to the tattoo, the permanent makeup person and be like, I want my eyes like this.
00:22:23
Can you give me one of these? Kind of a permanent cold kajal, I believe they call it.
00:22:29
Frank has really good eyeliner, too. Yeah. Okay, here's my last one. Okay. The subject of line of this email is Hot Dog Day, and it starts, one of the best I've ever seen.
00:22:40
Enough grab ass, let's get to it. Good one. You say you like hot dogs, then you need to come to my town's annual Hot Dog Day celebration.
00:22:51
My little college town of Alfred, New York, located about 80 miles south of Rochester, has an annual hot dog-centered festival that you should totally attend.
00:23:01
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Each year on a Saturday in April, our tiny main street is closed to traffic and turned into a street festival devoted to all things hot dog.
00:23:12
If I were a mayor of the town, that would be every day. That would be your first political move.
00:23:18
Yeah. The first bill you'd sign into law. There are, of course, hot dog vendors as well as kosher dog and not dogs for vegetarians like me.
00:23:28
There's a parade with people dressed as hot dogs, packets of mustard and ketchup, etc.,
00:23:34
as well as fire trucks, adorable little kids from the karate studio dressed in their tiny geese,
00:23:40
and all the usual small town stuff. There are games, rides, and of course the wiener dog races,
00:23:45
in which confused dachshunds run around sniffing each other's butts and eventually meandering toward the finish line.
00:23:53
This sounds like the best day of all time. Yeah, yeah. Why did our tiny town of 800 souls disappear?
00:24:00
Celebrate all things hot dog? Great question. I don't know. Wikipedia says our hot dog day started in the 1970s and hot dogs were chosen as the theme
00:24:10
because they were cheap and therefore popular with our college students. And also, for those of us who lived through the 70s, it was the recession and times were tough.
00:24:21
That was like the gas crisis. Money was tight. Yeah, there was a, here at least there was a drought, right?
00:24:29
Yeah, yeah. That's right. All kinds of shitty stuff. Yeah. Nothing like today. Whatever its origin, Hot Dog Day is a chaotic fun event with all proceeds from the food vendors and games going to local charities.
00:24:42
Oh, my God. So if you'd like to cheer on some bewildered wiener dogs while stuffing your faces with everyone's favorite snack, come on over to Little Alfred, New York, and hang with me and the probably two other murderinos who live here.
00:24:56
Oh, my God. I'm picturing us like at the Rose Parade. We're like commentating on it as it goes on below us.
00:25:05
Yes. We live from the Hot Dog Day Festival And Georgia if you look right down here the children and geese are storming up the street to protect us from all the hot dog attacks
00:25:16
That float took 8,000 hot dogs to create. Thank you for the donation from Nathan's.
00:25:25
Stay sexy and don't mock the not dogs. Juliana. And then in parentheses, it says rhymes with banana.
00:25:31
Like we don't. I can't pronounce Juliana without that. Thanks, Juliana. Rhymes with banana.
00:25:40
Rhymes with banana. That's the best. I mean, these festivals truly warm my heart.
00:25:47
Yeah. What's your festival? What's your town festival? We need to know about it.
00:25:50
We need to know what goes on in it. Do you think it's any better than the Petaluma Butter and Eggs Day Parade?
00:25:55
I doubt it. Man. Yeah. That's cool. It is. It's real fun. All right. Well, that was a quick one.
00:26:03
Thanks so much for listening. and tuning in and all of the things. And if you have a story you'd like to tell us that's interesting and funny and fun that
00:26:12
you think we'd like. Or horrifying. Or horrifying. Or a true hometown Yeah Or kind of anything in between Yeah Head on over to the My Favorite Murder Gmail which is literally myfavoritemurderatgmail and send it in
00:26:26
Please, participate if you'd like. We'll give you a trophy, a participation trophy.
00:26:29
Get in here. Yeah. Stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie?
00:26:36
This has been an Exactly Right production. Our senior producer is Alejandra Keck.
00:26:49
Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo. This episode was mixed by Liana Squalachi. Email your hometowns to myfavoritemurder at gmail.com.
00:26:57
And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder. Goodbye. running a business shouldn't feel like surviving a software group project one
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00:27:50
Big transfer news today. Who's moving? Me. To the couch. With Domino's best deal ever since they just added stuffed crust.
00:27:58
Any pizza, any toppings, now with stuffed crust for $9.99. It's a long-term contract with no release clause.
00:28:04
Only $9.99? Yeah, that sounds like the move. I'm heading straight to Domino's. Price is higher for some locations.
00:28:12
Excludes, Excel, and Specialty Pizzas. Select this offer from 615 through 726. Online only.
00:28:17
Size availability varies by crust type. Max 7 toppings, 6 for pan and New York style crust.
00:28:20
Minimum purchase required for delivery. Prices, participation, delivery area, and charges may vary.
00:28:26
Across America, money is being abandoned. By taking a few seconds to check lift before your next ride,
00:28:33
you can give money a better home inside your wallet. Save the money. Check lift.