00:00:00
This is exactly right. Isn't some far off concept? It's already here. Next starts now.
00:00:33
Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. When a charming neurosurgeon rode into Frontier Town
00:00:39
selling a persona of confidence and care, patients trusted him. He wore cowboy boots in the operating room
00:00:45
and became sought after by patients. He promised to heal them. Instead, he left a trail of broken bodies.
00:00:51
This is a story of greed, betrayal, and a fight for justice. Listen to Dr. Death the Cowboy wherever you get your podcasts
00:00:58
or binge the entire series right now only with Audible. Goodbye. Pandora Jewelry brings the sparkle to summer, now with even better prices.
00:01:07
Shop now for up to 50% off select jewelry featuring personalized pieces to must-have
00:01:12
summer favorites. Timeless jewelry made to move with you through every moment. Shop in-store or online now through July 5th.
00:01:18
Terms and conditions apply. See pandora.net for more details. Goodbye. My favorite murder
00:01:32
Hello! And welcome to My Favorite Murder. The Minisode. That's right. It's small.
00:01:50
It's an episode. So we named it a Minisode. Do you see the logic that we're using here?
00:01:56
are you fighting us? Tooth and nail. What would you call it? We want to know. The maxi-sode.
00:02:04
The midi-sode. Isn't that a, aren't like dresses midi now too? Yeah. The midi-sode.
00:02:10
That's also a choice. There's also the maxi pad-sode. Absolutely. With wings. One of our
00:02:16
greatest bits of all time. The always maxi pad bit. Here we go. This is a classic hometown and
00:02:24
The subject line is classic hometown POV from my six-year-old self. Great. Hi, ladies.
00:02:31
I've been listening for years. Thanks to my amazing brother who introduced me to your pod.
00:02:35
My boyfriend has suffered, and that suffered's in quotes, through hours of your show.
00:02:40
Thanks to me. Thanks to me. Mine has too. We taught young women to de-center men by centering us.
00:02:52
I love it. It's pretty intense. Yeah, I'm holding space for that. Okay. It literally says, okay, to this story.
00:03:01
I've been wanting to share this story for months, and I'm finally getting around to sending it in.
00:03:05
My classic hometown story takes place in San Diego, Poet, in 2010. I was only six years old at the time, but I remember this story so clearly, and I've always had a weird connection to the girl who died.
00:03:16
Chelsea King was a 16-year-old track star from Poe High School who left her home on the morning of February 25th
00:03:23
to go for her regular run at the Rancho Bernardino Community Park. When she hadn't returned by 5 p.m. that evening,
00:03:30
her family grew concerned and went to the park looking for her. The next day, her face was all over the local news
00:03:36
and posters were plastered everywhere. A few days into the investigation, her underwear was found at Lake Hodges,
00:03:42
14 miles from where she went on her run. Her DNA, as well as DNA from a registered sex offender, John Gardner, was found on her underwear.
00:03:51
At that point, it was sadly clear that she would not be found alive. John Gardner was arrested on suspicion of first-degree murder, and on March 2, 2010, Chelsea's body was found in an isolated area of Lake Hodges.
00:04:05
When it came out that her body had been recovered, I can remember the news playing at my house for hours.
00:04:11
She lived less than 10 minutes from me. Being a six-year-old girl, I obviously didn't know all the details of her death, but I was old enough to know that something really bad had happened to her.
00:04:23
I remember mourning her death. When family members would talk about her, they would always look at me and say the same thing.
00:04:30
You look just like her. For a little, for a child. You say that to a child, everyone.
00:04:36
And then it says that I always stuck with me. And as a six-year-old, all I could see was myself 10 years later when she would be on the TV screen in my living room.
00:04:46
I remember crying over her death and having so many confusing thoughts. I wanted to write her and her family letters.
00:04:52
Obviously, those letters were just a confusing rambling of words. It didn't make sense because I was a first grader.
00:04:59
But for whatever reason, I felt heartbroken over her death. The reason is because you have empathy.
00:05:05
Yeah. And it's somebody in your community and it's you learning about bad things happen in the world.
00:05:12
It's so normal and actually, you know, it'd be abnormal if you didn't do that. You know what I mean?
00:05:19
Exactly. Her family set up a foundation in her honor and my mom and I participated in a 5K to fund college scholarships.
00:05:27
Over a million dollars were raised in her name. Wow. Her killer was convicted and was linked to another murder that happened just the year before to a 14-year-old girl named Amber Dubois.
00:05:39
I remember this. Yeah. Her foundation helped raise awareness to the importance of keeping sexually violent predators away from areas with children.
00:05:49
I still think about her and her family all these years later. Being told I look just like that girl really did a number on me and is the reason I became the murderino I am today Thank you for everything you guys do This podcast isn just entertaining but it educational and inspiring You give
00:06:05
voices to those who lost theirs too soon. SSDGM, Megan. 14 and 16. And I like that Megan points out that what it changed isn't that girls shouldn't be out
00:06:18
alone. It's that sexual assault offenders. That's what should change is the sentencing laws and
00:06:24
that you know how they're monitored not what we're doing going for a fucking jog in the afternoon you
00:06:29
know correct it's just absurd it's the very slow progress but that is happening where it is this is
00:06:37
we have to start looking at the people responsible for what is happening and not talking about the
00:06:43
reaction to what is happening totally totally yeah we don't need the curfew it's the fucking
00:06:48
predators who need the curfew. Yeah. Thanks, Megan. That was a vulnerable one. So thank you
00:06:54
for that. Totally. Okay. This one's a little more lighthearted. Okay. This is called When I Was a
00:07:01
Trash Mom. Hello to all the fabulous people and pets of MFM from North Carolina. In Minnesota 408,
00:07:10
you asked us to tell the stories of when we were the trash parents. So here's the story of when I
00:07:15
was a trash mom. Back in the summer of 2018, my brother and his wife came to visit our family and
00:07:21
our older brother came to see us all too. They wanted to get a beer in the evening after dinner
00:07:25
at a local bar slash restaurant. Our daughters, Carly and Julia were 11 and five at the time.
00:07:32
And we had just started leaving them at home for Carly to babysit for short periods of time during
00:07:36
the day, like a trip to the grocery store. So the 11 year old is babysitting the five year old.
00:07:41
it's just roll those dice why not I mean it's like you gotta start giving them some
00:07:46
you know freedom and you gotta and responsibilities yeah that's scary but it's okay it's okay it's
00:07:54
totally okay but I mean it's been done for millennia but it's the same feeling as like when
00:08:01
when Nora got her like driver's permit and then my sister was like wait now she drives like no way
00:08:07
And I'm like, oh, yes way. I'll do it. Like, you have to let her. Now she gets to choose wherever she gets to go. Don't do it. Okay. And then it says about the
00:08:18
grocery store, always paid, of course, because I was an unpaid babysitter to my half sister when I
00:08:24
was young. There you go. Yeah. We were just planning to be gone for an hour or so back at
00:08:28
home by 830. And we were only going a few miles away. Plans to drink never last an hour. It's
00:08:35
never you're never no no unless you're none yeah and even then maybe not like the idea the whole
00:08:43
idea of drinking is for more drinking totally that's what it does yes that's a that's a very
00:08:48
me statement but it's the truth it's like that's the whole deal you break down that's why it's
00:08:54
addictive yes it's the point of it the better the more you have the more you the more the better you
00:09:01
get at it. What's the one is too many a thousand isn't enough like come on. Same with donuts.
00:09:09
Okay we would be home before dark. If they needed anything Carly had a device she could text us from
00:09:15
and we still had a home phone. Everything's fine. Great. I'm a rather forgetful person and I'm always
00:09:21
leaving things behind especially my phone. I realized after we got to the restaurant that I
00:09:27
had left my phone at home, but my husband had his, so no big deal, right? And at this point,
00:09:31
you'd have the husband text the daughter and be like, yo, text me if anything comes up, right?
00:09:35
Oh, that's a good plan. Yeah, they didn't do that. At this point, I was like, I'm gonna get
00:09:40
baked potato skins. Oh, potato skins. Potato skins. That sounds so good. I'm just saying
00:09:48
there's no parental skills in me whatsoever where it's like, wait, here's how we should
00:09:53
take care of this problem or here's how any like any here's best practices for children watching
00:09:59
children it's like where's my long island iced tea i don't care about anything else i have one
00:10:04
hour to party right out of my way we ordered some munchies potato skins and had a couple of rounds
00:10:10
of drinks with my husband as designated driver we were all having fun and of course completely
00:10:15
lost track of time just before 10 my husband got a text message from carly asking when we were
00:10:20
coming home. He said, we were on our way and we rushed back home. We felt guilty about being gone
00:10:25
so long, but it got so much worse when I picked up my phone at home and saw a series of missed calls
00:10:30
and texts from her. Like, when are you coming home? Should I put Julia to bed? I put Julia to
00:10:35
bed. Are you guys coming home? Of course she sent all of these to me before she bothered to text or
00:10:42
call her dad. Of course. Yeah. Then Carly told us how she and Julia climbed into Carly's bed to read
00:10:48
some stories and there was a spider in her bed. That might not sound like much of a problem,
00:10:53
but I have unfortunately passed my arachnophobia to my daughters. So that is a big deal.
00:10:58
So she had to kill a spider in her own bed, no doubt with five-year-old Julia screaming the whole
00:11:04
time. Needless to say, I felt like the worst mom ever. Actually, we felt so bad that after I
00:11:11
overpaid her for babysitting, both of my brothers paid her too. She made over $60 in those three
00:11:17
traumatic hours. So it wasn't for nothing. That's right. That's all that matters. If you can get a
00:11:25
little money for the trauma. Totally. Like acknowledge my trauma monetarily. That's all
00:11:30
we're asking for. That's how we make up for it. That's what suing people is. Our Carly, who just
00:11:36
turned 18, has never let us forget the time mom and dad were only going to be gone an hour and
00:11:41
just abandon us. But both our girls have turned out pretty great. Y'all are the best. I'm a year
00:11:46
one listener and really loving the MFM Rewind episodes. I was a skipper for the first few years,
00:11:51
but I a skipper no more You always make me laugh Please keep it coming in 2025 We definitely gonna need it You are not wrong Did you see that I had my seven day free trial of 2025 and I like my money back please
00:12:07
And I'd like to cancel my subscription, please. For real. Stay sexy and don't forget your phone.
00:12:14
Lori, she, her. P.S. I got an Elvis. Do you want a cookie tote bag for Christmas that I love?
00:12:20
Picked out by Carly. My third MFM tote bag. Aw. maybe I have a problem. No, you do not. I have all the plate. Yeah, exactly. They rule. And
00:12:29
we care a lot about them. Yeah. But also I love that that story comes full circle by the two
00:12:35
children in the story 20 years later or whatever, buying merch. Totally. It's like a merch plug at
00:12:41
the end of this. But it is good because I'm always like, do we have to, do we want, I'm always like,
00:12:46
do people want more totes? Yes. Everyone wants totes. You never don't need it. I have like 14.
00:12:52
And how, sorry, but how long were they gone? I missed it. It seems like three hours maybe.
00:12:56
Oh, that's fucking nothing. Are you kidding me? How dare you? 11 these days is like young though.
00:13:02
We were smoking fucking cloves already, but these days. Yeah, it's so young and it's so not at home by yourself with little kids.
00:13:09
No. Also, it is that thing where it's like, whether it's a spider in your bed or just the idea that suddenly like you look into the kitchen and everything looks kind of sinister and sharp.
00:13:20
Yeah. Like, it's just like, it's such a young, it's the first time to be like, oh, and if something goes down, it's on me.
00:13:27
And it's so quiet the first time you're like home alone. So quiet. Especially when you hear the scratching in the attic.
00:13:34
Right? Oof. I was home by myself, but I was like 21 or two. And I heard something in the attic.
00:13:46
And I had a cat that was just staring at the attic. It was probably a possum. Yeah.
00:13:52
But then when I was like, so I went into my parents, like, it's going to sound super fancy, but they have a walk-in closet that's the most low-key walk-in closet of all time.
00:14:01
It's like you can step inside. Yeah. It's very, like, 1987 version. But I went to try the door, and it felt like someone was pressing back against the door.
00:14:12
And I ran. I just ran, got into my car, and drove out to my old neighbor's house.
00:14:17
And I was like, it was like almost midnight. I was like, he's like, what are you doing?
00:14:21
And I'm like, you have to come back with me. I think someone's at my parents' house.
00:14:24
And I made him come and like check the entire house. Good for you. I would have been like, I'm pretending that didn't happen.
00:14:30
And like, go to bed. It was because the cat, the cat was like basically pointing to the door.
00:14:35
The cats will alert you. They will alert you and freak you the fuck out. Right. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer, Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent.
00:14:47
The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14. Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't make sense, rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust.
00:14:58
Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation, and Hyundai doesn't either. Hyundai has always moved the future within reach.
00:15:04
Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle. Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra-fast charging capability.
00:15:11
And Hyundai continues doing it every day. From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game, the future isn't some far-off concept.
00:15:20
It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye.
00:15:25
Peace of mind can be hard to come by. Especially at 2 a.m. when your house suddenly makes a weird noise.
00:15:30
That's why so many people trust SimpliSafe to help keep their home secure. Traditional home security only alerts you after a break-in has already happened, and that's too late.
00:15:39
SimpliSafe is changing that. The system is customizable so you can build the one that fits your home and your specific needs.
00:15:45
The 24-7 professional monitoring is effective and affordable and won't lock you into a long-term contract.
00:15:51
Listen, Cookie is a really good watchdog, but she's not going to tell me what is actually going on.
00:15:56
If it's a raccoon or if it's a person looking through my windows. Like, you have to get this level of safety if you want to feel as safe as possible.
00:16:04
So you know what's going on. So I just feel safer with actually having something like SimpliSafe around.
00:16:08
There's a whole staff at SimpliSafe that's waiting to talk to you and help you out and tell you, no, you're fine.
00:16:14
It's a raccoon. Right now, you can get 50% off your new system by visiting simplisafe.com slash MFM.
00:16:20
That's half off at simplisafe.com slash MFM. There's no safe like SimpliSafe. Goodbye.
00:16:26
Pandora Jewelry brings the sparkle to summer, now with even better prices. Shop now for up to 50% off select jewelry featuring personalized pieces to must-have summer favorites.
00:16:36
Timeless jewelry made to move with you through every moment. Shop in-store or online now through July 5th.
00:16:42
Terms and conditions apply. See Pandora.net for more details. Goodbye. The subject line of this email is runaway child.
00:16:52
Hi, lovely ladies, long-time listener, fourth or fifth-time writer. I've lost count.
00:16:57
When I was in second grade, they just go right into it. I love it. Mm-hmm. Just a little bit of a passive-aggressive hint, hint,
00:17:05
And then here we go. When I was in second grade, my mom took a leave of absence from work to stay home with my youngest brother, who had just been born the year before.
00:17:13
During this time, she also watched two family friends after school to earn some extra cash.
00:17:18
I can only assume she was being compensated. That was in parentheses. Brennan was my best friend at the time.
00:17:25
And one day we decided that I was going to go home with her. While our moms were inside talking, I snuck into the backseat of her car.
00:17:32
This is my jam. This is KK. All the way. Age nine. I just loved this shit. I loved doing this shit.
00:17:44
Okay. This was just a normal four-door car, not an SUV with a hatchback. So I laid on the floor behind her driver seat and Brennan and her little sister covered me with their backpacks and coats And then in parentheses for some reason I remember foil but that seems like an absurd thing for eight to have on hand
00:18:05
Maybe they had one of those like runners post-run foil jackets. Yeah, like blankets.
00:18:11
Some kind of a leftover camping equipment or someone did a 10K. How many Ks is it?
00:18:19
12K? It's 5K, 10K. I don't think you need one for a 5k or maybe not even a 10k. How long was the last one you ran?
00:18:27
Honestly, I ran, I used to run five and 10ks when I was like in elementary school with my mom.
00:18:32
What? I know. I loved running as a kid. What? I know. It's weird. It's still fresh, Georgia.
00:18:39
There's still stuff to learn about each other. Look. Look at us. Look. Look at us.
00:18:45
Still discovery. We're still in a discovery case. I thought you were like, look at us.
00:18:48
It's still taught. You can still, there's still time to go back. I'm like, no, there fucking isn't.
00:18:51
No, no. Oh, please don't. You'll immediately, both your hips will fall off. Her mom got in the car and started driving.
00:18:59
I held my breath and tried to steady my breathing. We made it to Brendan's house and they all got out of the car.
00:19:07
This is where the plan faltered as we didn't actually think I'd make it to her house.
00:19:11
Brendan was able to sneak back into the garage and get me to the basement. At this point, we had no idea what to do.
00:19:18
Would my mom freak out and call wondering where I was? No. Would Brennan's mom find me?
00:19:23
No. After an hour or so, we both went upstairs and told Brennan's mom what had happened.
00:19:28
She was none too thrilled and called my mom to let her know. I assumed at this point there'd be a search happening as we were going on two hours of an eight-year-old missing from home.
00:19:37
But alas, neither my mom or dad knew I was gone. What the? She went to pick her up at school and came home without her.
00:19:44
Where is the, like, there's no. How do you miss that? She just because she was kind of chatting and then just like she got distracted.
00:19:52
I'm sure my six year old and one year old brothers were keeping them occupied. That's what it is.
00:19:57
Maybe. Intense baby brain. Anyway, I don't know how I got back home. But after that day, Brennan's mom always checked the backseat.
00:20:06
Yeah. Thanks for all you do to make the world a better place and for giving shout outs to teachers when talking about Karen's sister.
00:20:13
It can be rough out there. Stay sexy. And are you a runaway if no one notices? Bailey. Oh, it's not fair. It's not fair. That's hilarious. It's like they pay attention to you
00:20:28
when you don't want them to pay attention to you. No one pays attention when you're trying to do a
00:20:32
show. Oh, you see fucking everything when I'm trying to be sneaky and then I'm trying to do a
00:20:36
show. Yeah. I'm not going to tell you the title of this one, but you'll probably get it. Okay.
00:20:42
Hi, everyone. Then it just goes into somewhere in the Midwest during the 80s. My younger sister and I were dragged to my grandpa's house so the family could go out back and play cards.
00:20:52
Like, what would you give to fucking be there right now? In the 60s, you said? 80s even.
00:20:59
In the Midwest playing cards in the backyard. I mean, just, you know, there's cafe lights hung from a tree to the back porch roof.
00:21:08
Oh, and speaking of Miller High Life, it's fucking, it was just like bottles popping, right?
00:21:15
And if you're going to talk about cafe lights, you better be talking about Miller High Life, girl.
00:21:20
That's our song. That's our country song we're about to write. Get ready. When we first arrived, everyone ate dinner and then the kids were promptly shoved into the spare room to, quote, play.
00:21:29
This bedroom was circa 1960 with shag carpet, rock hard bed. My grandma had this fucking room.
00:21:36
everything smelled musty and it had a small tv with a vcr in the bottom to play lassie for the
00:21:43
hundredth time like i am there yeah you know it was kid prison which is one word i'm about seven
00:21:50
and the oldest between all the kids there are five of us bored out of our minds so naturally we need
00:21:55
to do something about that earlier during dinner i remembered seeing this massive jar in the fridge
00:22:00
filled with red stuff and before being shoved into kid prison i got a sneak peek now to the master
00:22:06
plan. I convinced my cousin to go with me to get the jar because it's a two-man job. Plus,
00:22:11
I had another cousin being lookout. We were sophisticated criminals then. We managed to
00:22:16
slowly carry this massive jar of cherries to the kid prison where we all stood around and admired
00:22:22
its glory. There's nothing better in life when you're a child than maraschino cherries.
00:22:27
I'm sorry to keep on talking about Nora, but she, to this day, anytime we go out to eat lunch or
00:22:33
dinner she's like can I get a chili temple and it's like you're 18 years old but it's that vibe
00:22:40
it's that it is magical it'll never not be magical no I was seven and I still remember the waiter at
00:22:45
the restaurant overhearing me say I did a million marshy on cherries if I could and he brought me a
00:22:50
fucking like shot glass full of them I still it was like one of the best days of my life that's
00:22:54
called customer service right there that's fucking right I'm sure my dad tipped like shit okay
00:22:58
party okay glory we finally cracked it open all grabbed a cherry and popped it in our mouth at the
00:23:07
same time almost as quick we instantly spit it out ew gross these cherries don't taste right
00:23:13
and then we decided we don't care and we went full in i had a pink arm up to my bicep from
00:23:20
grabbing cherries we were in heaven and then so the the title of this one's called drunk kids
00:23:27
because it says fast forward to drunk parents finding drunk kids passed out everywhere with a
00:23:32
cherry-less jar. Everyone was freaking out. Kids were stumbling. My little sister puking.
00:23:39
It's hilarious to hear the stories because I only remember the first part of that night.
00:23:43
To this day, my aunts and uncles can't agree what the cherries were soaking in. Some say gin, others say moonshine.
00:23:50
Yes. Stay sexy and don't put your boozy fruit on the bottom shelf. Suze. See, it was the, okay, wait, it was her brothers and sisters and then like cousins?
00:24:05
Cousins, yeah. Fuck that. There's something really joyous. There was a moment post trying that, like, because it's so little kid to be like, these taste terrible.
00:24:16
Oh, we're just going to keep eating them. But I want them, yeah. I want them and I have to have them.
00:24:20
But there must have been this glory moment between like the last little kid eating their maraschino cherry and some sort of let's run on the couch.
00:24:30
Let's chase each other, but on the couch type of thing. Like some older sister came up with a rad game for a bunch of moonshine drunk kids that probably only could be sustained for about four minutes.
00:24:44
And then it was mayhem. For the moment, there was glory. It was true. All kids, you know, the floor is lava style game joy.
00:24:55
Oh, to go back. And you've been searching for it ever since. And you'll never find it.
00:25:00
You'll never find it. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer,
00:25:06
Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent. The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14.
00:25:12
Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't make sense,
00:25:16
rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust. Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation, and Hyundai doesn't either.
00:25:23
Hyundai has always moved the future within reach. Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle.
00:25:29
Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra-fast charging capability. And Hyundai continues doing it every day.
00:25:35
From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game, the future isn't some far-off concept.
00:25:41
It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye.
00:25:47
Peace of mind can be hard to come by. Especially at 2 a.m. when your house suddenly makes a weird noise.
00:25:52
That's why so many people trust SimpliSafe to help keep their home secure. Traditional home security only alerts you after a break-in has already happened, and that's too late.
00:26:00
SimpliSafe is changing that. The system is customizable so you can build the one that fits your home and your specific needs.
00:26:07
The 24-7 professional monitoring is effective and affordable and won't lock you into a long-term contract.
00:26:13
Listen, Cookie is a really good watchdog, but she's not going to tell me what is actually going on.
00:26:17
If it's a raccoon or if it's a person looking through my windows, like you have to get this level of safety if you want to feel as safe as possible.
00:26:26
So you know what's going on. So I just feel safer with actually having something like SimpliSafe around.
00:26:30
There's a whole staff at SimpliSafe that's waiting to talk to you and help you out and tell you, no, you're fine.
00:26:35
It's a raccoon. Right now you can get 50% off your new system by visiting simplisafe.com slash MFM.
00:26:41
That's half off at simplisafe.com slash MFM. There's no safe like SimpliSafe. Goodbye.
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00:27:03
Terms and conditions apply. See pandora.net for more details. Goodbye. Goodbye. My last email is a classic trash dad.
00:27:14
And in parentheses, that's what the subject line is. And then it says four minute read.
00:27:19
So it says, I've been listening since 2018. And I started with the episode where you covered the serial killer in Hawaii, followed by coincidence island.
00:27:27
Nice. The rest is history. You are truly the best slash my favorite. Thank you. My parents divorced when I was in elementary school and my dad moved out to the Pacific Northwest from the Midwest to basically start over.
00:27:40
That meant for two weeks over Christmas and two months every summer, my sister and I got to fly out and visit.
00:27:47
We did lots of fun activities in Washington and my dad enjoyed the outdoors and encouraged us to do the same.
00:27:54
Sometimes his eagerness for us to have fun bordered on dangerous. These are my favorite.
00:27:59
These are my favorite. Single dads. So much fun. Single dads riffing activities Yep How do I do this What do I think is fun They be fine is usually the mentality One summer when I was about 14 my dad thought it would be very fun for me and my 15
00:28:17
sister and 12-year-old stepbrother to go on a canoe voyage. He had a small canoe that we would
00:28:24
utilize in small ponds, mostly to putter around and go fishing. The plan, drop the three of us
00:28:29
children off at a boat dock on the Columbia River. In this section of the river, it was a few hundred
00:28:35
feet wide, very swift and very deep. In a canoe? In a canoe. And the Columbia River is fucking
00:28:42
serious shit. Is it? Okay. Shit. The first thing I thought of was like, I'm pretty sure we've done
00:28:47
stories that involves the Columbia River. Yeah. Somewhere in my filing cabinet of my life. Yeah.
00:28:53
But then also they have their own clothing line. So, you know, it's not just like a low key river.
00:28:58
There's no trickle. There's no trickle for a clothing line. There's got to be like some rapids and shit.
00:29:03
Okay. Could be wrong though. Okay. We were armed with three paddles, three life jackets, a safe, and then it says in parentheses,
00:29:11
a safe trash dad, and a cooler of water and snacks. My sister had a small primitive cell phone circa 2010 that we put in a plastic bag in the cooler.
00:29:22
Smart. I kid you not, he dropped us off and casually said, I'll pick you up in a few hours down river.
00:29:29
No. No. I'll pick you up in a few hours downriver. Just make sure you don't go past the dock I need to get you at.
00:29:39
And thus our adventure began. No. Like, holy shit. Okay. We did not realize how massive the river was until it was just us on our tiny canoe.
00:29:53
We stayed close to the edge so we wouldn't get out to water that was too deep. We stopped for a lovely picnic lunch on a small sandbar.
00:30:02
Our chests puffed up at our false senses of accomplishment at Lewis and Clarking our way down this river.
00:30:08
We were almost to our pickup point when we snagged a low-hanging branch and tipped the canoe.
00:30:14
I'm proud to say that I saved the snack cooler, and after getting the canoe to the bank and putting it back upright,
00:30:20
we journeyed on and even found the oar we lost in the capsizing, floating down the river slightly
00:30:25
ahead of us. That's pretty cool. All in all, a great experience, minus getting eaten alive by
00:30:31
mosquitoes and tipping the canoe. My dad was proud of us for doing it by ourselves. I see now that
00:30:37
plopping three children in a massive river alone was not his best idea. He died when I was 18 after
00:30:43
a short and brutal cancer fight. That is one of the saddest sentences you can write.
00:30:50
Totally. I wish he were here to teach my kids, the grandkids he never got to meet, how to do all the amazing things he taught me to do.
00:31:00
I like to think that he sees me now and is proud. Stay sexy and hug your dad, Mallory.
00:31:05
Oh, Mallory. Yeah, like once they got back, I was like, like safely. I was like, he really like gave them courage.
00:31:14
And like, that was maybe the point is like, you can make it here and back. Fucking do it.
00:31:18
Yeah. And maybe he was like secretly driving along somewhere watching them, although it doesn't feel like it.
00:31:26
No. But no, it is that kind of somebody was talking about that, I'm sure, on TikTok.
00:31:31
But it's that thing of like we really did this older generation that really was like we were we had play based learning.
00:31:38
We were outside all the time. We had to deal with we would create issues and we had to solve those issues, like all that kind of stuff.
00:31:46
My childhood mantra that my mom always said was fend for yourself. And yeah, we fucking did it.
00:31:52
Yeah. Okay. My last one. This is called serendipitous half sister. It says approximately three minute, 45 second read at Georgia speed.
00:32:06
Are you fast or slow? I don't know. I've got to be fast according to my mom. Okay.
00:32:12
Isn't it weird? every once in a while you just get that thing of like how we are being perceived like we are being perceived in the wildest fucking weirdest ways that like have nothing to do with who I know myself to be
00:32:25
No, but I think after nine years, it's got to be pretty accurate. You know what I mean?
00:32:28
I know. I just don't like it. It's not up to them. It's up to me. Sorry. Okay, well, I read fast.
00:32:34
So here we go. And this is long. Prove it right now. Happy New Year, y'all. A little late, but I parted a bit too hard to say it on time.
00:32:42
You asked for crazy coincidence stories in your last hometown episode. So this is the story of my father's long lost half sister and how a random drunk guy from Texas got sober and reconnected the two of them.
00:32:55
It seemed like every vacation my family took, even states away, my father would run into someone he knew from long ago.
00:33:02
Be it a pool, campground, cracker barrel, or many times at AA meetings. Dad was like a magnet for that sort of thing.
00:33:09
Maybe it had to do with the fact that AA is often astonishingly full of people you used to know.
00:33:14
Yeah, that's right. He was a masterful storyteller. Dad never grew tired of sharing stories about running wild with mischief as a little boy in the streets of New York City during the Great Depression.
00:33:26
And then it says, in parentheses, 1930s, as if I also don't fucking know when the Great Depression.
00:33:31
I'm like a little, that's what you're talking about. I get it. I hear you. That hurts.
00:33:35
That hurts. I know when that is. Sorry, just for future writers in, if you have a dad that grew up on the fucking literal streets of New York City during the Depression and you're going to brag that he has great stories and you don't share one synopsized version with us, a clicky before you get to your main.
00:33:53
Come on. I know. I know. It's already long. So they probably are like, how am I going to get this?
00:33:57
Please write back in. Please write back in. We spent rainy days binge watching VHS tapes of Oliver and Hardy, the Three Stooges and Little Rascals while imagining his childhood as a soot covered scroundrel playing in black and white.
00:34:09
Oliver and Hardy. Is that what's written there? Oliver and Hardy? Yeah. It's Laurel and Hardy.
00:34:15
I know, right? But I think it's because. Maybe it's a. I think one of their last names was like Stan Laurel and somebody Oliver.
00:34:25
Probably. And maybe it was Oliver Hardy. Yeah. Well. Well, nope. I hate to correct you.
00:34:32
We can't go back. And also not know the truth, but that's kind of, that's how I really am.
00:34:36
I'm keeping it. Okay. Now that I understand what nostalgia looks like, I can see it in memories of my father's face as he recounted the details of his juvenescence.
00:34:46
Juvenile adolescence, like that. Yes, I guess so. I made up a word. There was always a moment dad would recall his half-sister, Dorothy, who had left home as a teenager.
00:34:56
I suppose she could not get along with my grandmother, who may have had a heavy hand.
00:35:01
Dad prayed to find her someday. She was the only one who might still remain. Having eventually moved away from New York, my family ended up in South Carolina.
00:35:10
I was about 11 years old when, after an AA meeting, my father spoke with a visiting Texan about his long-lost sister, Dorothy.
00:35:18
The man's face twisted into amazement. he himself had met a woman years before who had gone on in the same fashion about her long-lost
00:35:26
brother. The strange Texan had met her on a separate trip to New York years before becoming
00:35:32
sober and apparently shared this very intimate conversation with her and stayed in Christmas
00:35:37
card contact. Her name, Dottie, shorthand for Dorothy. The stranger took our phone number
00:35:44
and told my dad, when I get home, I'll just check and let you know. Well, it was her, all right.
00:35:50
what the fuck that's crazy i know it happened quickly and the two were soon hollering on the
00:35:55
phone a few weeks later dad was on a flight to meet her he came back with new photos of my
00:36:00
grandfather and even of himself many he had never seen before none of which i had seen
00:36:05
until then dad had only one remaining photo of his father they all only exist in photos now and
00:36:11
i recount the past by these limited images i have but this little serendipitous moment remains the
00:36:17
story that connects them to me in ways that is still so inexplicable. I'm Irish-blooded and
00:36:23
long so I afraid of sending too long of an email There you go But some other someday I tell you about my mother who after spending 14 years as a nun fell in love with my same magical trash dad who was under indictment at the time
00:36:38
Yes. What? Yes. This is it. It says SSGDM and it's signed, boop, with an exclamation mark and a fucking emoji smiley face.
00:36:47
Boop. That's the person's name? That's how they signed it. Boop. Boop. That's what you do to a cat.
00:36:54
They just are like, I'm out. Yeah. I'm out. We're done. Anonymous, basically. Boop.
00:36:59
Boop. Oh, my God. That was delightful. Yeah. But I feel like people need to understand the important parts of stories.
00:37:10
You don't have to hear the whole story about the nun and the guy under indictment.
00:37:13
Just like the moments that their hand first touched. Like, just give us a little bit of that.
00:37:19
What was the pre to the breakthrough to the, I am going to break up with Jesus and get with you, a straight up criminal?
00:37:29
It had to be hot as fuck to be like that powerful. Praise the Lord. Praise that Lord.
00:37:38
Send us your stories. Send us your story. Oh my God, I want nun stories. The nuns need to start writing in.
00:37:46
Why did you accept the calling? Right. Why did you leave the calling behind? Right.
00:37:52
Why did you change your name and get a new fake social security number and you're coming on?
00:37:56
My favorite murder at Gmail. I think this is the first episode that's not an old record since the fires.
00:38:04
Oh, yeah. Oh, this is the first. Yeah. And we are, I guess I was just going to point out, we're still in the middle of a natural disaster.
00:38:13
So we don't really like, please forgive everyone. I think everyone is getting this on social media where like no one knows what the hell is going on and no one.
00:38:23
Everyone's afraid to say anything or we're all holding our breath and waiting for this these next 48 hours to pass.
00:38:29
Yeah. And it's really nice that people checked in on us. And we're very happy to have been able to tell you that we're OK.
00:38:37
And yeah, yeah, that everyone is OK here. Yeah. Thank you guys for checking in so much.
00:38:43
We appreciate it. Very nice. And, you know, until next time, stay sexy. And don't get murdered.
00:38:51
Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie? This has been an Exactly Right production.
00:39:05
Our senior producer is Alejandra Keck. Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo. This episode was mixed by Liana Squalachi.
00:39:12
Email your hometowns to myfavoritemurder at gmail.com. And follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder.
00:39:18
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00:39:45
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Shop now for up to 50% off select jewelry featuring personalized pieces to must-have summer favorites.
00:39:56
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00:40:02
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Goodbye.