00:00:00
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00:02:02
That right there is Georgia Hardstar. And that, folks, is Karen Kilgareff. And we, together, ladies and gentlemen, are here to podcast.
00:02:11
Have you heard of podcasting? It's all the rage these days. People love it. Everyone's doing it.
00:02:19
Everyone has multiples, you know. And why not do it? Why not get on a mic and just talk it through?
00:02:26
Yeah, it's the podcast singularity, guys. And you're part of it. You're part of it by just listening.
00:02:32
Wait a second. I just had one of those galaxy brain moments. What if podcasts are the singularity which then birthed humanity? And that's why we are who we are. We're just the results of other people's podcasts on either a different planet.
00:02:50
Life is just one big podcast loop. It's a podcast loop. And we've gotten to the oversaturation of podcasts.
00:02:57
And now I have to start fucking the cycle all over again and get reborn. That's right.
00:03:02
Go through the Industrial Revolution. Figure out a way to like the radio, all this shit.
00:03:07
Terrestrial. I'm super broke. I don't know how to get a job that pays enough. Right.
00:03:13
And then we go to podcasting. And then podcasting. All over again. And then careers.
00:03:19
We've solved it. It feels great to live in the solution now. That's what I like about it.
00:03:24
The solutionarity now is where we're at. Can I tell you the ultimate compliment that my little cousin Anna gave me this morning?
00:03:31
Yes. She called me because last night she watched the movie The Shining. She needed to talk through the trauma that she experienced by watching that.
00:03:39
Oh, her first time? She's 20. How old is she? She's 20. Okay, cute. She used to be the little baby of the family until Nora was born.
00:03:46
And then she basically spent all her time kind of actively hating Nora until they were like, you know, a little bit older.
00:03:53
And then now they're all best friends. Very cute. That's what sisters are. Exactly.
00:03:58
And Nora never felt it or cared. Or she was always like, I love them. And it didn't matter to her.
00:04:03
But anyway, she's the best. And she gave me the best compliment. She said, I watched this movie and it reminded me of you.
00:04:12
Aww. come play with us danny there's auntie karen right she goes you're a real burnt orange in my mind
00:04:22
the color palette yeah i was like love yeah anna thank you this means the world to me
00:04:30
huge compliment yeah i was with my mom last night and she starts talking about i said something and
00:04:37
She goes, well, I heard from a true crime podcast that you have to not be polite.
00:04:41
And I got really mad. And I was like, what true crime podcast are you listening to?
00:04:45
She goes, yours. She meant mine. But I was so, like, jealous. You were ready. I was like, who?
00:04:53
You're not even into true. She's not even into true crime. Like, what? That's so funny.
00:04:56
So basically, Janet's getting on the train. Well, she's misinterpreting our, like, she meant fuck politeness.
00:05:02
Like, she meant that we talk about that, but she got it wrong because she doesn't listen,
00:05:06
which is for the best. What did she think it meant? She said, like, be mean or some misinterpretation.
00:05:14
Sure. That works, too. That works, too. She goes, not like I've always been mean, but it was kind of like funny.
00:05:21
Oh, Jan. I was like, oh, if she started listening now, she's got some real surprises ahead.
00:05:27
We all do. I mean, hey. Once she starts listening, that's when time implodes. Black hole.
00:05:33
Yeah. Fucking cut to the beginning. Big bang. That's the kind of the final Easter Island head that falls is Janet pressing play on this podcast.
00:05:43
Incredible. Can't wait. Well, should I do a story in Janet's honor? Let's and Janet will finally understand what we're doing over here.
00:05:50
She won't because this is not a true crime story. So she won get it Interesting But she remember it And she yeah it from her time you know of life which is you know the late 1900s
00:06:06
Janet. Mid to late 1900s. Missatisfying breads and pastas and want to add protein without going overboard on calories?
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For full offer details, visit BoostMobile.com. okay so i'm just i'm gonna tell you i'm fucking telling you the story just kick it off
00:08:16
we never do this just kick it off yeah this is a fucking apollo 13 mission story
00:08:20
don't need no fucking preamble wow yeah okay great right did you watch the movie i can't remember
00:08:28
it's the 1995 blockbuster starring bill paxton kevin bacon and tom hanks who famously was the
00:08:34
one who said, Houston, we have a problem. That's like the iconic line. Right. Space makes me very anxious. So this should be great.
00:08:41
Oh, okay. It does. Like you're not, yes. You're not a fan of like being in a spaceship or being
00:08:46
in like both of those things. It's just vast. I remember having very long, deep thoughts about it as a child of like,
00:08:52
so you're telling me it just goes on and on in Blackness forever and there's no ending and no
00:08:57
one knows what's out there. Like it was that kind of shit. I'm like, I don't like that at all.
00:09:01
I don't like not knowing what's happening out there. So tell me about it. Like, tell me about the bad thing that happened out there.
00:09:06
I feel like this. Let me tell you about the one of the worst. It's not one of the worst.
00:09:10
But this is like an episode about black holes in space and stuff. Cool. The space time continuum.
00:09:16
Okay. The main sources I used in today's story include articles from NASA's website, including Apollo 13 mission details with no author listed.
00:09:25
And Apollo 13, the successful failure by Lee Mahone. And then another article from the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum's website titled, Conserving the Creativity That Saved the Apollo 13 Astronauts by Lauren Gotchlik.
00:09:40
And other sources can be found in our show notes. So here we are, 1961. And in response to the ongoing space race between Russia and the U.S. that you're like such a big fan of.
00:09:51
Huge fan. President John F. Kennedy makes the U.S. moon landing a priority goal.
00:09:55
And the attempts begin with Project Mercury, which succeeds in placing several astronaut crews into Earth's orbit between 62 and 63.
00:10:04
Then there's Project Gemini. Fucking go Gemini's. And that successfully sends a total of 16 astronauts, U.S. astronauts, into low Earth orbit between 65 and 66.
00:10:15
So we're like getting going, you know. Yeah. but then in 1969 Kennedy's goal is finally reached when you know the story is it true
00:10:24
that's not this that's not what this is about when Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin complete the
00:10:29
first successful moon landing aboard Apollo 11 blah blah blah the moon we made it we made it
00:10:37
you know the moon landing blah blah blah blah story yeah was it a fucking soundstage in Burbank
00:10:45
we'll never probably know. We'll never know. Or they'll know 40 years in the future
00:10:49
and it won't matter by then. That's true. A second moon landing happens and then now that that journey to the moon
00:10:55
has been completed twice with no really big issues, NASA is confident they can focus the astronaut's energies now
00:11:01
on acquiring some new scientific data with this third moon landing. So before they were just like posing for pictures and shit.
00:11:08
Now it's like, let's get down to science. Let's really dig some of that moon dirt up
00:11:13
and figure out what's on there. Snort a big old rail of moon dust and see what happens.
00:11:18
So the three astronauts training for the Apollo 13 mission, James A. Lovell Jr., John Jack L. Swigert Jr., and Fred W. Hayes Jr.
00:11:30
And they are armed with some geological training so that they can collect those rock samples, bring them home to Earth for their study.
00:11:36
The mission's insignia highlight this goal with the Latin phrase ex luna scientia or from the moon knowledge.
00:11:44
So like, let's study that shit. So on this 10 day mission, Lowell, Swigert and Hayes
00:11:50
will journey to the Fra Moro region of the moon And there they retrieve rock samples So there are two major components of the spacecraft built for the Apollo 13 mission There the command service module which is called the Odyssey and the lunar module which is called Aquarius
00:12:08
Odyssey is where the astronauts are housed and control the entire spacecraft. And then the service module is where the fuel and power sources are stored.
00:12:16
And then the lunar module is the part that's going to detach and land on the moon while the other person stays back and, you know, controls it.
00:12:25
So a graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy, 42-year-old James Lovell has logged 572 hours of spaceflight prior to the Apollo 13 mission, making him the most traveled astronaut at this time, while 38-year-old Jack Swigert hasn't yet flown to space before.
00:12:40
So he's got a deep knowledge of how the spacecrafts are built. He earned a degree in mechanical engineering and aerospace science.
00:12:46
So fucking super smart. But a baby in terms of experience. Yeah. 35-year-old Fred Hayes also has a military background.
00:12:55
Having served in the Marines as a fighter pilot, he studied aeronautical engineering
00:12:59
and was working as a civilian research pilot for NASA when he joined the astronaut rank
00:13:04
in the same group as Swigert did in 1966. So they're all buds. So let's get to the launch.
00:13:12
So it's 2.13 p.m. Eastern Standard Time on April 11, 1970, and the Apollo 13 spacecraft lifts off from Kennedy Space Station in Florida.
00:13:20
the team of flight directors who are like the flight controllers who communicate with the crew
00:13:26
oversee operations from their station at mission control in houston texas okay okay are you having a hot flash i think i'm having a fucking hot flash oh my god i didn't
00:13:38
even think about it oh no holy shit it sucks so bad oh my god i'm totally wow that was like
00:13:45
the first time i realized i'm having a hot flash though when i wasn't sleeping you might have to go
00:13:48
You might have to go change into a tank top. Oh, my God. Okay. So the first five and a half minutes or so go smoothly, which is not enough time for a fucking space flight to go smoothly.
00:13:59
Like, that's nothing. You need, I don't know, a solid hour if you're going into space.
00:14:04
A couple days, maybe. Let's go for it. Yeah. Everyone on board feels a minor vibration from deep within the vessel.
00:14:10
And they discover that one of the engines meant to get them up towards the atmosphere has shut off two minutes early.
00:14:16
This forces the remaining engine to burn 34 seconds longer than planned, but all goes well.
00:14:22
And the Apollo 13 aircraft enters orbit safely despite this little hiccup, but foreshadowing, baby.
00:14:28
Bad omen. Yeah. So the journey to the moon is expected to be about three days at 46 hours and 43 minutes in.
00:14:36
Capsule communicator or Capcom, Joe Kerwin down in Houston reports that the spacecraft is in real good shape as far as we're concerned.
00:14:44
and it actually says that they're bored to tears down there. Like that's how well it's going.
00:14:49
It's just fine. They're not worried in any way. Yeah. So now let's fast forward to the third day.
00:14:54
We're 55 hours into the journey. The crew conduct a routine inspection of the lunar module.
00:14:59
Then they take the lone TV camera crew through a lighthearted tour of space. The other moon landings that have happened before have been like big freaking deals.
00:15:08
This one is less so. And the general public at this point is like yawn, basically.
00:15:13
We've seen it. which is great. But also the Vietnam War is going on, so people are a little more concerned with other stuff.
00:15:21
And because of the limited broadcast, Lovell's wife, Marilyn, watches her husband from a VIP room at Mission Control.
00:15:27
What kind of snacks were there is all I want to know. I mean, can I just say? Tiny sandwiches.
00:15:32
Cut up pieces of celery. What did you say? Tiny sandwiches. Tiny sandwiches, the celery with like cream cheese
00:15:37
and some sprinkled stuff on the top. Yeah. 60s appetizers. Martinis. so many martinis so many martinis and cigarettes oh my god they everyone was smoking
00:15:47
chain smoking and that just increases as the stress begins yeah okay so the broadcast ends
00:15:55
at the 55 hour 46 minute mark of the journey all systems operational and the crews on both
00:16:01
the ground and aboard the spacecraft are in good spirits but then just 95 seconds later
00:16:07
at 9.08 p.m., a loud bang rattles the ship. Maybe a loud meow would be the only acceptable loud
00:16:16
noise. Maybe a loud yawn. A loud yawn. Please, no bangs on the ship. No. For once in my life,
00:16:25
I'm saying no bangs. I'm talking about my hair. Swigert sees a warning light in the vessel's
00:16:31
control center that worries him. He radios to ground control and delivers the line that would
00:16:36
define the rest of the journey. Houston, we have a problem. We have a problem. Famous.
00:16:42
The movie is pretty good, though, if you guys feel like watching a vintage movie. Apollo 13.
00:16:48
And then a flurry of warning lights flash on the ship's controls. Two of the three fuel cells used
00:16:52
to power the ship are fucking dead. Two out of three. Oh. Not good. I don't know math. Great.
00:16:58
Two days into the trip? Yeah. Am I right? Three days. Three days. Three days into the trip,
00:17:03
You run out of gas in space. Your engines fucking die. And it cuts off most of their electricity.
00:17:10
And then another set of warning lights indicate that one of their two oxygen tanks has emptied completely.
00:17:15
And the second one is draining fast. So as the astronauts scramble to troubleshoot the problems, commander level glances out the window on his left to see that they are venting something out into space, basically.
00:17:26
Just like the gas is leaving the fucking ship. Unfortunately, that gas is the command module's oxygen supply.
00:17:33
So the ship they're in, it's the oxygen supply for that ship that they're in. And so it gets dangerously low.
00:17:39
And about an hour and a half after the bang, ground control and commander level reach the same conclusion.
00:17:46
If they're going to survive, they all have to transfer over to the lunar module,
00:17:50
which was just supposed to go down to the moon, right? So with just 15 minutes of power left aboard the command module level and Hayes make their way to the lunar module Swigert races against the clock to finish up last minute duties and shut down the command module
00:18:05
He manages to do so just in the nick of time, slipping into the lunar module as the last wisps of oxygen leave the second bank.
00:18:13
So they just have to completely abandon ship. It's in space. In space. In the middle of space.
00:18:19
also you know like you're on like a southwest flight and the captain comes on and he's so
00:18:24
drab and he's so like look here we're going up to oakland everything's fine and so like these
00:18:29
people are professionally calm yeah but then in this situation it's like is this what rattles a
00:18:36
pilot is this what gets you know yeah it's a guy like that kind of worked up because to say houston
00:18:42
we have a problem i mean it's almost like this is what they're trained for is to stay calm in a
00:18:46
situation like this, but like they hopefully and usually don't ever have a reason to test that.
00:18:52
Yes. And yeah, exactly. They would assume they would be, but now they know whether or not they
00:18:57
are. Here it is. I think my thing, I would just go blank and kind of lock up and I wouldn't help
00:19:02
anything. I would just be like sitting there and they'd be like, come on, pick up those things.
00:19:06
What are we going to do? What are we going to do? What are we going to do over and over again?
00:19:10
I mean, yeah. Terrifying. But guess what? It only gets worse. So now obviously the moon
00:19:16
landing is fucking 86. Let's cancel. Let's go. We're going to flake on that. Right. We're going
00:19:22
to flake on that. Their mission now is to get home safely. And their only chance at doing so is by
00:19:27
all of them cramming into this lunar module. There are some positives in the situation.
00:19:31
First is that the lunar module does not appear to have been damaged in whatever explosion it was
00:19:36
that took place. Second is that the lunar module has plenty of oxygen to sustain everyone on their
00:19:41
journey back home. So yay for that. Very important. Yeah, oxygen. So however, there are some pretty
00:19:46
severe drawbacks because one of the astronauts was always meant to stay back in the command module
00:19:51
while the other two went down to, you know, it's called the moon. The moon. Yeah. It's only built
00:19:57
for two people, so it's tight. And while there's plenty of oxygen for all three men, the food and
00:20:03
water supply in the lunar module is only meant to last 45 hours for the two people, and a trip home
00:20:09
will take them about 90 hours. So a trip home is going to be three fucking days.
00:20:13
Just like back-to-back spooning with your workmates gasping for air. Right. Thirsty.
00:20:20
Thirsty, exactly. So they have to do strict rationing. Same with the power supply. There's
00:20:25
only enough battery to last 45 hours. So they have to shut down any non-essential operations
00:20:29
so they have enough power to get back to earth. But it is doable. So basically, they had brought
00:20:36
extra canisters of oxygen over from the command module, but they don't fit into the filters on
00:20:43
the lunar module. They're like not made to be switched back and forth. So the abundance of
00:20:48
oxygen itself creates another issue because that means, as we learned in science class...
00:20:53
Too many plants. Right. Moss growing everywhere. Exactly. No, too much carbon dioxide, which is dangerous. The spacecraft has special lithium
00:21:03
hydroxide canisters that remove the carbon dioxide from the air and keep it safe to breathe on board.
00:21:08
But again, the canister supply they have is only meant to last for about two days for two people.
00:21:13
So back at square one. They have brought extra canisters over from the command module,
00:21:19
but they were not made for the lunar module, so they don't fit. It's like putting a square peg in
00:21:24
a round hole. So a day and a half into their escape to the lunar module on April 15th, 1970,
00:21:31
a warning light signals a dangerous level of co2 they're running out of time outside inside constant
00:21:38
everything's against them yeah because everything has to be tested at mission control before it can
00:21:44
be put to use in the spacecraft because you can't test shit on the spacecraft it'll blow up engineers
00:21:50
down in houston quickly work to devise a solution they communicate with the astronauts on board
00:21:55
they kind of figure out what they have to use and then on the ground the engineers these smart
00:22:00
people put together a device using whatever items they said they had a plastic bag, cardstock,
00:22:06
a space suit hose, and duct tape. Like, this is MacGyver. They're MacGyvering from Houston to tell them you can do this to fix it.
00:22:16
Right. Like, based on what you have. It's like when someone's like, what do you have in your fridge? And I'll tell you what to cook for dinner. But your life depends
00:22:21
on it. I am, no joke, super stressed out right now. You are. This is stressing me out. Yes.
00:22:27
That's why I had a hot flash, I think. Because you knew what was coming. I knew it.
00:22:32
And I had to tell it without sounding stupid because I know there's people who are very smart listening right now who are fucking laughing.
00:22:38
Look, this is exactly what happened to me with Jack the Ripper in London. I was like, why did I pick this?
00:22:44
Everyone here knows how this actually goes. Right. Like there has to be a list. What are you even doing right now?
00:22:49
Are you in space listening? Like that would be. Do you work at JPL and are you judging us?
00:22:55
because we hope you understand that we are not cosmologists doing this in any way.
00:23:02
We're not even cosmetologists. Like, we're not even... I would love to be God. I went to three months of beauty school, so I basically am.
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For full offer details, visit boostmobile.com. So they figure out what it's going to be
00:24:48
based on all these mismatched parts. They name it the mailbox because it's like a boxy thing they put together.
00:24:54
Okay. They didn't have a lot of time to workshop names. So- Don't waste time on that.
00:24:59
It would be fun. You're going to want to distract yourself by doing that. Yeah. Hold for name is not something you can tell people in an emergency situation.
00:25:08
So they build it on the ground. Then the engineers at mission control walk the astronauts through how to put it together.
00:25:14
They demonstrate how to use it once it's put together. And this is all while warning lights are flashing,
00:25:20
indicating the increasingly dangerous levels of CO2 on board. So like, you know, when your phone's running out of batteries and it turns red and you get stressed out,
00:25:26
it's like that times a thousand. That in space. And you might die in space. The air becomes harder to breathe as the astronauts work diligently to connect the makeshift device.
00:25:37
And luckily it works. The CO2 levels start to drop and the lunar module becomes livable again.
00:25:43
Thank you, mailbox. Yeah. Is it funny that Tom Hanks would later be in a movie called You've Got Mail?
00:25:48
And is there any connection there? Is it before or after this? I think it's before.
00:25:54
Or in a movie about living at the airport? Right. That's not related. Oh, their airport.
00:26:00
It's close enough. They're both going in the same fucking direction. What is Tom Hanks lately?
00:26:06
Let's just change this into talking about Tom Hanks. I don't have to listen to how stressful this is.
00:26:10
Love him. And this is even more impressive because not only is this like fucking dead battery light flashing, which is not dead battery,
00:26:19
they're subsisting on next to nothing while they work. Their water ration is only six ounces of water a day.
00:26:25
So if you think of like a shot of vodka, it's like an ounce. You know, so six ounces, six shots of water.
00:26:32
I need more. I need like the tallest weird plastic cup with a straw. Absolutely.
00:26:37
Yeah, absolutely. There's a little fruit juice as well. But the lack of proper hydration even gives Hayes a UTI, which just to be like a team
00:26:47
player, I have one too right now. Just I was doing this story and I was like, you know what, I'm going to go ahead and wake
00:26:54
up Saturday morning with a fucking UTI just to be supportive. That is. Yeah. First of all, I didn't know boys could get UTIs.
00:27:01
That really sucks. They are the worst. The worst. They're the worst. How fucking horrible is that?
00:27:08
So I add a UTI to this nightmare. Yeah. Like, come on. And then someone gets pink eye.
00:27:14
The lack of food isn't great either. They avoid eating as much as possible so they don't burn through their supply.
00:27:21
But when they do eat, it's things like hot dogs, which isn't very nourishing, even though we love them.
00:27:26
It's a snack. Not a meal. A lot of nitrates. Right. And various unappetizing wet pack foods, the kind that like won't spoil in space.
00:27:35
So nothing fucking great. No one's having carbonara. No one's loving life. No. No one's looking forward to their mealtime.
00:27:42
Right. It's sustenance. It's all it is. And they actually can't avoid rapid weight loss for the next couple of days.
00:27:48
So they lose a fucking ton of weight that quickly. Yeah. So even worse than the dehydration and starvation is the intense cold because they have to keep
00:27:57
non-essential systems powered off. So there's nothing heating the interior of the lunar module
00:28:01
and temperatures drop as low as 38 degrees. So you weren't fucking joking about the spooning.
00:28:06
Like that's got to happen probably. Jesus Christ. I know, like miserable. Like think of the worst
00:28:12
flight you've ever been on. This is worse. Obviously. This is some tower air shit right
00:28:19
here. Yeah, this ain't good. And because the temperatures are so low and it's so cramped,
00:28:23
It's almost impossible to sleep. So they're exhausted. They're delirious. There's just so much shit going on.
00:28:31
I fucking relate entirely. I just don't know why I thought of this, but they're probably all also chain smokers.
00:28:38
So they're not having cigarettes. I don't know why I thought of that, but are astronauts allowed to smoke?
00:28:43
I doubt it. I bet they're not. No. Lung capacity? What if that was actually the reason that this all happened?
00:28:48
Someone like flicked their cig and then kaboom. Also, but there were people too, like those guys are so smart and they, you know, those are big brain people.
00:28:58
They'd even back then they might've been like, yeah, I don't smoke. Yes. They may have been.
00:29:03
Yeah. Yeah. That would make sense. They have to be at the top of their game and breathe in space You not going to like yeah Okay So Lovell Hayes and Swigert have just one more obstacle standing between them and their
00:29:16
safe return. It's a big one. It's just navigating home to Earth. Because remember that moon module?
00:29:23
You're supposed to go to the moon and then back. It doesn't know how to get home.
00:29:26
It's not supposed to fucking go home on its own. Oh, oh, at all. Oh, no. On its own.
00:29:31
Because it's supposed to be attached to the bigger guy. Yeah. You know? Yes. Right. So, but yeah, so its navigation system isn't equipped to handle finding its way back
00:29:39
to Earth. Like they're fucked in a lot of ways and they fucking need it probably.
00:29:43
Yeah. Their best shot at getting back to Earth is to enter what's called a free return trajectory.
00:29:48
Here's your fucking worst nightmare. Basically, they have to go around the moon and get into a
00:29:53
path where gravity can guide them back to Earth without them needing to control the flight. So
00:29:58
they're fucking relying on gravity. But because they were on a moon landing mission, they had
00:30:03
positioned themselves in a hybrid trajectory, which basically means they left the free return
00:30:09
course so that they could land in a specific spot on the moon. Now, without the proper navigational
00:30:15
system to maneuver back into a free return trajectory, the astronauts are forced to rely
00:30:20
on mission control to map out their course. So they're all working together. And if they do,
00:30:24
if they accidentally land on the moon, that's that, right? Like they don't, yeah. I would have
00:30:30
But if they burn the lunar module engines at the right times in the right direction, they can kind of just basically push themselves on the right course, but also without burning through their fuel supply.
00:30:44
Jesus. Like, the more you hear about this... It's insane. So basically, they're forced to use the sun's position to help achieve a proper alignment of the spacecraft.
00:30:55
It's risky because a blast in the wrong direction would send them fucking hurling past Earth into the great unknown.
00:31:04
Karen's worst nightmare. I don't like this. Like just forever going. Forever with chapped lips.
00:31:11
Oh, the most chapped lips. God damn it. God damn it. Ugh. But mission control guides their calculations and fortunately puts them on the right track. Like geniuses. If we had like one or two IQ points lower, none of this would have worked out.
00:31:26
Thank you, smart people. Appreciate you. Using only the sun puts them off by half a degree, which is still within the margin of error to get them home.
00:31:34
As they approach Earth, the astronauts get word from mission control that the only way to successfully break through the atmosphere is by once again powering up the command module so that they can detach the lunar module from it.
00:31:48
So this whole time they've been attached to the broken command module. Yeah. So basically, there's all these issues with that.
00:31:56
So the damage in the cold to the command module led to condensation buildup on the interior walls of the command module.
00:32:03
and behind the control panels. And so the condensation from that is so thick that as the ship descends to Earth,
00:32:10
it appears like it's raining inside the module. So fun. What the fuck? All of that moisture threatens to short circuit
00:32:18
the command module's electrical board, which would be catastrophic at this phase.
00:32:22
But because of years of development from the earliest Apollo aircraft models, there are safeguards in place that prevent any short circuiting.
00:32:29
But even still, writing up the procedures necessary to start up that dead command module mid-flight
00:32:36
so that they can detach it could take as long as three months. Like that's how long they need
00:32:42
to figure out a way to do it, even with their big brains. But the engineers at mission control
00:32:47
managed to do it in just three days. So they're just like, let's figure this out.
00:32:53
Let's get a lot of uppers and fucking do this. Get one of those really big chalkboards
00:32:57
that almost nobody uses but us. Right. Get it going. The astronauts follow the procedures as instructed and they successfully get the command module on and working again.
00:33:07
And this allows them to detach the lunar module from it so that they can land in the Pacific Ocean, which is a splashdown landing, a safe distance from the damaged command module because they can't land near it.
00:33:18
It'll fucking crash into it. Right. So even though they managed to get on the right trajectory back to Earth, Lovell, Swigert, and Hayes soon realized that their spacecraft is drifting slightly off course.
00:33:30
Mission control directs them to follow the day-night line, basically. Basically following the sun's light on the Earth's surface to stay on course.
00:33:40
I'd be dead. I'd be like, no, can't do that. Basic Boy Scout stuff that I could not do.
00:33:46
No, no. they use what fuel they have left to initiate the burns necessary to follow the line like the
00:33:52
little cranking out of the burns and on april 17th 1970 the apollo 13 spacecraft splashes down into
00:33:59
the pacific ocean near samoa and they're recovered by the naval ship uss iwo jima weary but all still
00:34:07
alive oh god i know i mean we're not even talking about all the things that could have been splashing
00:34:14
down into just the great wide open ocean Jesus Yeah Due to lack of food the three guys lost a total of 31 and a half pounds combined Oh my God In a couple days
00:34:27
Like that is bad. And also stress. It's like food plus stress. Like your hearts, their hearts were probably racing like they were jogging the whole time.
00:34:35
Right. And dehydration and lack of sleep. Lovell lost the most at a whopping 14 pounds.
00:34:41
And then two days later on April 19th, 1970, the guys are flown to Hawaii. I mean, give them a fucking vacay, right?
00:34:47
Oh, Jesus. And President Richard Nixon awards them the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
00:34:53
This is the highest civilian honor equal to the Congressional Gold Medal. So they're like, good job.
00:34:59
Oops. You did it. You did it. An investigative review board immediately looks into the situation after the splashdown,
00:35:05
trying to figure out what went wrong. They report their findings on June 15th, 1970, concluding that a short circuit error in one
00:35:13
the oxygen tanks led to the explosion. There was a recent modification to the tank that allowed it
00:35:19
to handle a higher electrical voltage, but the engineers failed to update another part within
00:35:25
the tank so that it could handle the increased electrical flow as well. This led to an explosion
00:35:30
in one oxygen tank that damaged the fuel cells and compromised the other oxygen tank. How many
00:35:36
people got fired none or a lot i mean here's the thing a mistake like myth human beings make
00:35:43
mistakes whether you're the smartest fucking person on the planet and you work for nasa
00:35:47
or you're down at burger king flipping burgers mistakes are a part of life totally and i hope
00:35:54
it wasn't like i because i bet you they felt fucking terrible sure nobody wants to be that
00:36:00
guy i mean no one died thank fucking god but thank god yeah but yeah nobody wants to be the
00:36:05
guy that's like oh that's right we should have done a b c d e f g and h and i i mean like it's
00:36:11
yeah god not good i mean neither level haze or swiggert ever fly in space again can you can you
00:36:20
believe it that's crazy what's their problem but it's actually not necessarily because directly
00:36:25
because of the mishap aboard the apollo 13 although you think it's got a factor in pretty
00:36:30
fucking hardcore yeah you know level reaches a point in his career when he's ready to retire
00:36:35
and he does so just a couple of years later in 1973. Swigert is slated to fly aboard
00:36:40
the joint Soviet-American space flight, the Apollo-Soyuz test project in 1975, but he's removed from the crew
00:36:48
after being implicated in the Apollo 15 postal cover scandal of 1972. What? The next thing we're going to cover on this show?
00:36:57
That's exactly right, because I don't totally get it. It's a scheme involving taking unauthorized postal covers
00:37:03
into space so that they could be sold at premium back on Earth afterward. Oh, I get it.
00:37:10
Okay. They're like, this has been to space. Totally. It's totally merch. Oh, my God.
00:37:18
He leaves the space program in 1973, gets elected to the House of Representatives in 1982.
00:37:24
Unfortunately, he dies from cancer before he gets a chance to even serve his seat.
00:37:28
and then Hayes would have gone on to command the Apollo 19 mission but he decided to retire before
00:37:34
then in 1979 so none of them go back to I mean just think about it you get into that situation
00:37:41
you by the skin of your teeth get back out of that situation yeah and then you're like sure I'll do
00:37:46
another one and all you would do is think about all the ways things could go wrong that's what
00:37:51
happens after things go wrong is then you're like well that can happen so what's going to happen
00:37:56
this time. Yeah. Did one guy not check the one other thing that was the other thing that controls
00:38:01
the other thing? You'll never fucking know until it's a disaster. And that is the miracle of space
00:38:06
flight is the fact that the other times we did it, none of those things happened. Totally. Totally.
00:38:13
Amazing. In 1994, Lovell co-authors his firsthand account of the Apollo 13 mission with journalist
00:38:20
Jeffrey Kluger in their book, Lost Moon, The Perilous Voyage of Apollo 13. And that is the
00:38:26
book that is adapted into the beloved Ron Howard directed movie, Apollo 13, which solidified the
00:38:33
line, Houston, we have a problem in our memories forever. And also the movie from 2016, Hidden
00:38:41
Figures, starring Taraji P. Henson as Katherine Johnson. So she was a black woman and mathematician
00:38:48
who worked at NASA and her work helped get Apollo 13 back home safe. Yeah. Her badassery.
00:38:55
And the movie is based on the book Hidden Figures by Margot Lee Shutterly. So check that out as well for more of this story.
00:39:03
That movie is really, really good. Yeah. Because it's like you just keep watching it going, this really happened.
00:39:08
Like this really happened. And that idea that like she was the most brilliant person separate from her gender,
00:39:16
or separate from, you know, her skin color or whatever. And then she's kind of sat in this room
00:39:21
where a bunch of dudes are like, you shouldn't be here. And then she's like, watch how much I should be here.
00:39:26
I gonna fucking help save everybody It such a good movie It fucking incredible Incredible Yeah I loved it Just real quick Yeah Do you remember when we did CBS show in New York and Ron Howard was the guest before us
00:39:39
and he walked through and said and looked at us and I was like, oh my God, it's Ron Howard.
00:39:44
And he walked through and we were the next guest. Yes. And looked at us and goes, hey, good luck or have fun.
00:39:50
And like took a moment to like hype us, give us a little thumbs up where I was like, you
00:39:57
classy bastard so fucking classy totally you could have rushed right out of here like you are
00:40:03
so busy and instead it was like full eye contact and like with this smile like hey isn't it fun
00:40:09
we all get to be on this show just these two girls sitting in the green room going like fuck
00:40:13
fuck fuck fuck and he's just like out good luck guys have fun oh my god uncle ron thank you i love
00:40:21
that man i've always loved that man since my happy days days in my childhood but that was like
00:40:26
god that was meaningful yeah yeah so classy but guess what what and that is the story of the
00:40:34
apollo 13 mission amazing i mean we really went through it on that one i i think i've lost 13
00:40:42
pounds by just sitting here and listening to this shit i had my first known hot flash and on record
00:40:51
On record where it wasn't asleep for it. So it's pretty epic. I think we need to actively start talking about menopause on our show because A, people don't talk about it enough.
00:41:03
And B, it is happening. It is happening. Are we going to alienate the little gals who are like, what are you talking about?
00:41:10
My tits are perky and I don't know what else is there. And I don't sweat randomly for no fucking reason.
00:41:17
But here's the thing. They will eventually. They will. And that's like no one talks about this shit.
00:41:24
And so when you come to it, you're like, I think I'm in a bad mood. Totally. I think the heater's on.
00:41:30
I think this and I think that. Because there is no hygiene class in high school that talks about it.
00:41:35
There's nothing. Let's talk about hormones. And just to like calm everyone down, my tits are still very perky.
00:41:41
Oh, my God. You should see they're almost above her eyes. It's crazy. Very distracting.
00:41:46
I keep hitting myself with faith. That was great. Good job. That was really good.
00:41:51
Thank you. Well, thanks for listening to our little quickie episode. We appreciate you guys being here, going to space and back and menopause and all over with us.
00:42:01
And all of the places. Thanks for joining us once again on the journey of life. Stay sexy.
00:42:06
And don't get murdered. Good night. Elvis, do you want a cookie? This has been an Exactly Right production.
00:42:21
Our senior producers are Alejandra Keck and Molly Smith. Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.
00:42:26
This episode was mixed by Liana Squalachi. Our researchers are Maren McGlashan and Allie Elkin.
00:42:32
Email your hometowns to myfavoritemurder at gmail.com. Follow the show on Instagram at myfavoritemurder.
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