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MFM Minisode 453

September 15, 2025 /

This episode of My Favorite Murder features listener stories about home invasions, historical murders, and childhood adventures. The hosts, Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark, read and discuss various emails from fans.

One story recounts a childhood experience where a listener's brother was held at gunpoint during a home invasion while she slept through it. The listener, Crystal Marie, humorously reflects on her obliviousness to the trauma happening around her.

Another email tells the tale of Lucille Hartman, who infamously shot her husband and later escaped from prison. This story highlights the dramatic events surrounding her life and the mystery of her disappearance.

Listeners also share lighter stories, such as a dog named Dylan who jumped into a pool and became a local celebrity, and a group of kids who mistakenly thought they found dinosaur bones in the woods.

The episode blends humor and suspense, showcasing the range of listener experiences and the hosts' banter.

TLDR

Listeners share chilling and humorous stories of crime and childhood adventures.

Episode

23:26
00:00:00
This is exactly right. Isn't some far off concept? It's already here. Next starts now.
00:00:33
Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. When a charming neurosurgeon rode into Frontier Town
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selling a persona of confidence and care, patients trusted him. He wore cowboy boots in the operating room
00:00:45
and became sought after by patients. He promised to heal them. Instead, he left a trail of broken bodies.
00:00:51
This is a story of greed, betrayal, and a fight for justice. Listen to Dr. Death the Cowboy wherever you get your podcasts
00:00:58
or binge the entire series right now only with Audible. Goodbye. Hello, beautiful.
00:01:04
I'm Amy Erick, founder of Madison Reed, a hair color company I named after my daughter.
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Own the dream. Hello and welcome to My Favorite Murder, the minisode. We read you your own stories, emails and stories.
00:02:34
You want to go first? Your stories and emails and stories. I'm not going to reach you the time.
00:02:39
Yeah, well, no, I'm not. Okay. Hi, Georgia and Karen. First time writer, long time procrastinator.
00:02:45
Hey. At seven years old, I randomly decided to sleep in my own room one night, rare, locked the
00:02:51
door, even rarer, and had a lovely uninterrupted sleep. Meanwhile, my older brother was followed home from a 7-Eleven by a man who held him at gunpoint,
00:03:02
forced his way into our home, threatened my parents, and demanded money. Holy shit.
00:03:07
I mean, about fucking, what's it called? Home invasion? Yes, home invasion robbery.
00:03:12
One of my biggest fears. Yeah. While my dad distracted the man downstairs, my mom woke my sister, who then climbed down a wrought iron fence and ran to a neighbor's house to call the cops.
00:03:21
The guy was arrested. The gun was fake. And I slept through the entire thing like a damn rock.
00:03:28
Oh, yeah. The guy even tried my door, but moved on when it was locked. Oh, like.
00:03:36
Dude. My mom explained it all the next morning on the way to school like it was a casual weather update.
00:03:42
A decade later, we got a letter that the guy had been released. Anyway, stay sexy and sleep like the dead.
00:03:49
Thanks for creating such a hilarious, cathartic space to share stories like these.
00:03:52
You two are truly the highlight of my week every week. Hey. Oh my god. SSDGM, Crystal Marie.
00:03:58
Crystal Marie. Thank you. Good job. Sleeping through a fucking hostage situation.
00:04:04
Sleeping through trauma. Yeah, I'll have none of this trauma. you guys can have it. Good night. I'll have what she's having. That's me on Ambien, basically.
00:04:12
Okay. The subject line of this is a vintage murder. Great. It says, Hello, beautiful ladies. Lucille Hartman is my husband's great grandfather's first cousin.
00:04:21
Lucille was a very attractive woman with red hair. She was reportedly very pampered,
00:04:25
spoiled, and had an ill temper. That was in quotes. Lucille's father owned Hartman Oil Works,
00:04:31
where she later met her husband, William Witt, in 1930. Lucille was 25, her husband 55, when they married.
00:04:38
The couple had a troubled marriage, oh, you think? And had been to court three times in a year.
00:04:44
William attempted to divorce her on the grounds of cruelty, but was denied. After losing the petition for divorce, the couple walked out of the courthouse,
00:04:51
apparently on friendly terms. No. A witness stated that Lucille left her husband saying,
00:04:57
well, then I'll see you in a week. William began to walk down the street and Lucille got into her car
00:05:04
She drove to catch up to William pulled over and stepped out of the car Lucille took a 32 caliber pistol that was concealed in her hat
00:05:12
She fired at William point blank once while he was standing and twice when he fell to the ground
00:05:18
One bullet went through his heart and the other two bullets through his head. Oh my god, right?
00:05:25
She immediately surrendered her gun to the sheriff and told him i'm ready to go to jail. Whoa
00:05:29
She was promptly arrested and they're like, no problem. There was a highly publicized trial before she was sent to prison.
00:05:36
Lucille refused to talk to anyone and displayed no regret in the killing of her husband.
00:05:41
It came out in the trial that Lucille had been married before to a man named Ralph, who she shot and wounded before their divorce in 1925.
00:05:49
I was going to be like, I bet he was this and that. Yeah, that's kind of it's a pattern now.
00:05:53
That's right. In 1934 Lucille had had a male visitor when she was in prison This visitor somehow changed clothes with Lucille during the visit Shut the fuck up The male wearing her clothes remained in the prison while she walked out of the door to freedom in disguise wearing the man clothing
00:06:09
She was never seen or heard from again. Stop it. It was later learned that the man visiting her was employed by Hartman Oil Works, which was then being run by Lucille's brother, George.
00:06:21
The whereabouts of Lucille Hartman Witt remain unknown to this day. France, bet you anything.
00:06:27
That is fucking incredible. How we that should be a full episode story. And that woman became Betty White.
00:06:36
What if it's some huge beloved character in American? I started listening to your podcast in 2016, day one.
00:06:43
And since then, I've graduated high school, got my master's degree in social work, and
00:06:47
I'm now working as a licensed mental health therapist in Arkansas. Wow. Thank you, ladies, for all you do.
00:06:54
Laura. Oh, my God. Guess what, Laura? Thank you for all you do. Thank you. And great job.
00:07:00
It's crazy that we can go like we've been through so many people's existences. Yes.
00:07:05
I mean, like someone got a master's on our dime. Yeah. And we're still fucking podcasting.
00:07:09
And we're still fucking degreeless. Doing the same fucking thing. College dropouts.
00:07:13
Over and over. I want to go to Laura's college. And get an honorary degree and be like, this is how easy it is.
00:07:21
We've earned a fucking honorary degree, for sure. At least from my alma mater, Los Angeles City College.
00:07:26
At least. I feel like I'd love to take some classes there. And by alma mater, I mean I didn't graduate from there.
00:07:32
Right. They had great classes. It was a great school. So that was more of a part-time stop-by hang.
00:07:36
Yeah. It's like, I don't know what to do with myself and I need to stay on my mom's insurance.
00:07:39
Yeah. So I guess I'll drive to this parking lot a couple days a week. Find a kitten.
00:07:44
I did find a kitten. Try to convince someone to go to a bar with me during the day.
00:07:47
Or the arcades across the street. Okay. Stop. We could do this all time. Please be serious.
00:07:54
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00:08:40
Go to madison-reed.com slash Tori and use code Tori20. Hey, everyone. It's Cal Penn, host of Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club.
00:08:52
This week on the podcast, I'm sitting down with Divergent author Veronica Roth to talk about her sprawling new novel, Seek the Traitor's Son.
00:09:00
It's a sci-fi fantasy epic about two protagonists on opposite sides of a war and a prophecy neither of them wanted.
00:09:06
my first book was Divergent and when that came out like because it was so popular I think it
00:09:12
attracted like mostly positivity but the negativity I sucked in like a sponge and I think it was like
00:09:20
critiques of things I liked when I was like you know I was 23 and I wrote this book and it had
00:09:25
all my like dorky little cheesy or maybe unrealistic loves in it and I started to feel a lot of shame
00:09:32
about those things. And so for the rest of my career, I steered away from those little things
00:09:39
that make you feel pleasure when you read. But I also was saying no to these parts of myself
00:09:46
that I then was like, screw it. So that's this book. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart audiobook club
00:09:54
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pets age zero to 10. this email is cursed or maybe it's just me dear karen and georgia i want to start off by letting
00:10:35
you know that at the moment of writing this email i am eating a cosmic brownie and ignoring work i
00:10:40
have to do for my first week back at sfsu hey wait can i say something university is that you
00:10:45
i wanted to go there and my mom was like you won't like it it's too foggy just like are you
00:10:50
out of your mind cosmic brownies those are the little debbies i bought a bunch of those at the
00:10:56
beginning of COVID. Oh, so good. Now I can't look at them. I ate boxes and boxes. Just so good.
00:11:02
They're really great. Okay. I also want to know that I am the first grandchild, granddaughter,
00:11:07
great granddaughter, niece, nibbing, etc. So overthinking is what I do. So on to my curse.
00:11:13
So this is about her family. Okay. But so she's saying, okay, great. Every single time I start a
00:11:19
new school, elementary, middle, high school, someone in my family dies. When I started
00:11:26
kindergarten, my mom's stepdad, Andy, died from a heart attack. I remember this even though I was
00:11:31
five. That was because at the funeral, my aunt made me go up to the coffin and look at him.
00:11:37
All caps. I cannot tell you how much I did not want to do that. Yeah. Yes, you can. There's no
00:11:42
need for that. No, five. I didn't want to go up because in my five-year-old brain, I thought all
00:11:47
that would be left would be his skeleton. Oh, Jesus. A skeleton in a little suit.
00:11:52
That's like a horror movie, walking up to the coffin. Yeah she like it a dead body This is a Halloween situation Here what I can expect Oh my God My first year of middle school I repressed as much as I could from that time My mom mom Darcy died I can tell you I felt any sadness mostly because I was 11 and she was in late stages of dementia but I still feel guilty that I felt relief
00:12:14
This happened when my whole family was at home. My brother was six at the time. I took him into, this is going to make me sound so fucking rich, the library and closed
00:12:25
the door so he didn't have to see the EMTs wheel my grandmother out the door on a gurney.
00:12:30
Yeah, that was nice. It's a nice sister. That's the opposite of a trash sibling.
00:12:34
Totally. Freshman year, my great grandmother Isla died. She was my dad's paternal grandmother.
00:12:39
We didn't have a memorial for her until almost two years later. I started community college during the pandemic. A week before online classes start, I am in
00:12:48
Albuquerque, New Mexico with my grandma, Anita, who has pancreatic cancer. Just stop going to
00:12:53
school if there's ever been a sign that you should drop out. Just stop educating yourself.
00:12:58
The day before she died, I had broken my elbow. That was a shit week. Fast forward to January 7th
00:13:04
of 2024. I had just finished moving into my on-campus housing for my first semester at SFSU.
00:13:10
my dad's dad, Ron, had been in the hospital for months. I got the call. Just expecting it every
00:13:17
time you like sign up. Yeah. So I am no longer allowed to get any more of an education, the
00:13:23
safety of the remaining members of my family. Although if I had my way, I would get the MFA I
00:13:28
want. Not worth it. Not fucking worth it. The MFA. Oh, a master MFA. I want. Yeah. Oh, for a second,
00:13:35
I thought she meant what do they call when you marry some guy and then MRS degree? Yeah.
00:13:40
I thought she was saying that. I'm like, why would you do that? Sorry it's so long.
00:13:45
MCMC. MCMC? Yeah, MCMC. MCMC. Is that the year they wrote it and they're just being Roman about it?
00:13:52
I just want to say this to you. Don't feel guilty that you are relieved that your grandma with Alzheimer's died.
00:13:58
It's a relief and it goes on too long. That's like you don't need the guilt on top of the sadness.
00:14:03
No, no, no. It's hard enough and everyone feels relieved. Yeah. It's very normal.
00:14:08
It's a horrible part of it. Yeah. That's nice of you. All right. The subject line of this email is internationally kidnapped by my grandparents.
00:14:17
Hi, Karen in Georgia. I grew up in upstate New York in the 90s where my parents' idea of summer camp was dropping my sister and me off with our grandparents for weeks at a time.
00:14:27
We loved it and there was often a rotating crew of cousins with us as my aunts and uncles took parenting sabbaticals.
00:14:34
Yeah, I think you'd have to. My grandparents loved taking road trips and we cousins usually obliged with minimal complaints as my grandpa was guaranteed to stop for ice cream at some point.
00:14:44
Yeah, it's all it takes for a kid. Most trips led us to unmemorable small towns, but occasionally we got lucky and our destination was the most exotic place for any upstate kid.
00:14:54
Canada. One particular trip was especially exciting because we were headed to Niagara Falls.
00:15:01
The trip did not start well. My seven-year-old cousin, Timmy, spent the entire two-hour drive arguing with my grandparents that we, quote, could not drive to another country.
00:15:11
You had to cross an ocean. Shut up. Timmy. Seven. You're seven and you're arguing with me.
00:15:16
Timmy watched the National Geographic Channel one too many times. My grandparents were not thrilled with his first grade level understanding of geography and things became tense.
00:15:26
Also, but like, okay, I'm going to argue for him now. Stop arguing with a seven-year-old.
00:15:31
Yep. Okay, Timmy. Okay, Timmy. We'll stay here in America. Whatever you need. Timmy.
00:15:37
Timmy. Horse name. That's really your name. Okay. As we approached border control, while Timmy continued screaming about oceans and airplanes,
00:15:45
when we pulled up to the border, a cheerful Canadian border agent looked in the backseat
00:15:49
and asked, excited to go to Canada, kids? Timmy screamed back, they can't drive me to another country.
00:15:55
My mom said so. These are not my parents. The formerly friendly border agent immediately yelled at my grandpa to exit the vehicle and things went downhill from there.
00:16:06
Oh my God, he thought they were getting kidnapped. As this was the early 90s, kids were not required to have passports or birth certificates to cross into Canada from the U.S.
00:16:16
My grandparents had no proof of who the three children under seven years old were in the backseat.
00:16:22
The border agents immediately separated us from our grandparents, sat us in a small detention room, and gave us each a small box of raisins to snack on.
00:16:31
Gross. You're not getting anything out of me with fucking a box of raisins. Get out of there.
00:16:35
The Canadians asked us detailed questions about our trip and who our grandparents were.
00:16:39
When asked if our parents knew where we were, we all dutifully replied no. It's true.
00:16:46
Our answers only confirmed the border agents' suspicions. My sister, Timmy, and I had clearly been kidnapped.
00:16:52
Meanwhile, my grandparents were in another room being interrogated. Luckily, my grandpa happened to be a New York State Supreme Court justice at the time.
00:17:00
There you go. We're fine. Yeah. Must be nice. And somehow convinced the border agents to contact a fellow judge he knew who lived near the border.
00:17:08
This judge showed up a few hours later with a few American court police officers and U.S. Border Patrol agents.
00:17:15
Damn. They verified that my grandpa was, in fact, an upstanding citizen and not a kidnapper.
00:17:20
Although at that point, I'm sure he was considering abandoning us. I don't remember much else about the trip except for the glitter wand my grandma bought me at a rest stop on the drive back home.
00:17:32
That's a good memory. I'm so sorry, but that's so real for a kid. It's like we all got detained.
00:17:38
Grandparents almost got arrested. But glitter. Glitter wand. My grandparents were notoriously cheap, so getting a souvenir was somehow more astonishing than being detained.
00:17:47
Stay sexy and don't bring the annoying cousin to Canada with you, Laura. Little shit. I mean, I was right from the beginning.
00:17:54
Yes. Send us your accidental kidnapping stories Yes You know what I mean I mean that in a really positive way That like someone thought or accidentally did a thing Yeah It seemed like kidnapping but it wasn
00:18:06
All actors in these stories must be like Timmy's grandparents. Yeah. Of good faith.
00:18:12
Not legit kidnappers. We don't. I mean, or send what you want. We'll fucking take it.
00:18:17
We'll listen to whatever you want to tell us. We will. My favorite murder at Gmail.
00:18:22
Hello, beautiful. I'm Amy Erick, founder of Madison Reed, a hair color company I named after my daughter.
00:18:28
Forget everything you know about hair color. The mess, the smell, the hassle, the damage.
00:18:34
We're female founded and female led. We've transformed the hair color experience with ingredients that care for your hair and award winning color on your terms at home or at our hair color bars.
00:18:45
The future of hair color is here at Madison Reed. Hey, everyone, it's Cal Penn. I'm the host of Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club.
00:19:00
This week on the podcast, I am sitting down with Ray Porter, the narrator of Andy Weir's audiobook project Hail Mary,
00:19:08
massive sci-fi adventure about survival and science and what happens when you wake up alone very far from Earth.
00:19:16
I really had to make a decision because I caught myself getting that frog in my throat and starting to get teary as I'm narrating some of these sections.
00:19:24
And it's like, OK, yo, yo, yo, is this indulgent? And I really thought about it.
00:19:27
I was like, no, at this point, it would kind of be betraying the trust the author and the listener have in telling this story if I don't go through it.
00:19:36
But there's places in this book that deeply emotionally affected me. And I left it on the mic.
00:19:43
That's great. Because it served the story. People will say like, oh my God, I cried at the end.
00:19:47
It's like, yeah, dude, me too. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:19:57
Protect your pet with insurance from PetsBest. Plans start from less than a dollar a day.
00:20:02
Visit PetsBest.com. Pet insurance products offered and administered by PetsBest Insurance Services, LLC,
00:20:07
are underwritten by American Pet Insurance Company or Independence American Insurance Company.
00:20:11
For terms and conditions, visit www.PetsBest.com backslash policy. Products are underwritten by American Pet Insurance Company, Independence American Insurance Company, or MS Transverse Insurance Company, and administered by Pets Best Insurance Services, LLC.
00:20:21
One dollar a day premium based on 2024 average new policyholder data for accident and illness plans, pets age zero to 10.
00:20:28
Okay, this one is great. Public pool store, as you say, is the title, because we asked for that, but this one is amazing.
00:20:35
It just starts, love you both. Thank you for encouraging me to get the help I needed.
00:20:39
Okay, story time. I know, right? My 15-year-old self had the best dog ever named Dylan.
00:20:47
He was famous in our neighborhood. We lived across the street from an elementary school, and my mom, whose name was Romaine.
00:20:54
Like the lettuce? Not spelled that way, but it looks that way. Romaine with a Y.
00:20:57
Yeah, maybe. My mom ran a daycare at home, so he was always around kids. They all knew and loved him, and he appointed himself as their protector.
00:21:06
Good boy. Perfect. But his number one most favorite kid in the whole world was my little brother.
00:21:12
They went everywhere together. As 70s kids, we were free range and my brother and his friends were explorers.
00:21:19
They swam in the creek, rode their bikes for miles and climbed anything and everything they could find.
00:21:24
It really was like that. Also, guys, no sunblock. There was we didn't. Oh, fuck.
00:21:28
No, it's sunburned all the way. And also like a lot of corduroy in that situation in the summer.
00:21:35
Yeah. Sorry, but I just saw a picture of me and my sister and my cousins, Eileen and Mary Kate, and they'd come to visit us. So Patty O'Hara, who lives across the street, she brought her horse down so they could sit on the horse because they were from San Francisco. So they didn't get to do stuff like that. Me and my cousin Eileen are both wearing leotards only. And I'm like six and she's probably 12. And we looked at the picture together and she goes, I think those were our bathing suits.
00:22:01
and I was like oh yeah I remember wearing it for ballet and also as a bathing suit yeah I love it
00:22:08
and we weren't I don't think I could have had a bathing suit and obviously my parents could
00:22:12
afford ballet lessons and a fucking horse no wait that wasn't yours it was Patty's right okay one
00:22:16
day I'm gonna stop interrupting you I swear to god okay one day my brother had to go someplace
00:22:21
where Dylan the dog could not go can't remember where but whatever so my mom made sure he was
00:22:27
inside as my brother was leaving. That dog cried and whined and barked and cried some more for long
00:22:33
enough that my mom assumed it was okay to let him out. And the kids were free range and so were dogs
00:22:37
back then, by the way. He bolted out the door without touching the porch steps and headed
00:22:42
straight to the local park where they spent a lot of time. While hunting for my brother,
00:22:46
he eventually ended up at the park's pool. My sister, who absolutely cannot deal with animals
00:22:52
of any kind. There's always one. And her five kids were already at the pool. So finding familiar faces,
00:22:58
he decided to join them and rested a while in the grass poolside. Couldn't find his favorite,
00:23:03
so he found some family. He's just like, all right, I'll sit here. My sister was not happy
00:23:07
about it and called my mom to come get him. This was, of course, laughable. And my mom told her,
00:23:13
he knows his way home. You can't get a ride from your parents for yourself. The dog's not getting
00:23:18
a ride. Absolutely not. He wanted to leave, so he needs to suffer the consequences. That's right.
00:23:22
It's the 70s. After a good rest, he decided to join my nieces and nephews near the water,
00:23:28
eventually getting in line for the diving board. I'm picturing like a golden retriever,
00:23:34
like a really sweet. Or a yellow lab. Yellow lab. Yeah, like a Mr. Peanut Butter.
00:23:38
Everyone was quite. Is that a known character? BoJack Horseman. Oh, yeah. What's his name?
00:23:43
Paul F. Duncan is the character. It's like the best. Everyone was quite tickled and nobody thought
00:23:48
he would go through with it. But of course he did. He got in line. Like he's a dog
00:23:53
and he got in line for a diving board. Didn't even like bust his way to the front.
00:23:56
Dogs don't know what lines are. No, but they're like, Trust you guys. I've hung out with you guys long enough to know that I'm either going to get like a piece of popcorn or some good times.
00:24:06
Totally. If you're standing like this, I'm going to stand like this. Yeah. It was not the high dive, but the medium height board.
00:24:11
He successfully jumped and swam to the edge where he used the ladder to get out.
00:24:16
Dylan, he managed to get three jumps in before the lifeguards were able to grab him by the collar.
00:24:22
Or were they even trying? They knew him and were not afraid. My sister was dying of embarrassment and told her kids to pretend they didn't know him.
00:24:30
Shut up. She's terrible, which they obviously didn't do. You're right. You're the fucking star of the pool.
00:24:37
That's my brother's dog. Exactly. He was my best friend for 15 years, and I have only one decent picture of him.
00:24:44
I have that too. It's like I have like three pictures of my childhood cat who I was with for 20 years.
00:24:49
I have it framed in several sizes all over my house to this day. I would kill for a picture of our dog Pepsi.
00:24:56
I bet you can find one. How? AI. Stay sexy and always wait your turn. Tree. Tree.
00:25:07
Legendary email. The dog got in line. Do you know dogs are like the only animals that understand what pointing is?
00:25:13
Like you're trying to get them to look over there, not like look at my finger. Makes sense.
00:25:18
Cickey does it all the time. It's so great. I used to say to George when we were at the dog park and Frank would run up into the hills.
00:25:23
I know. I'd go get that dog and she would do it. She fucking knew. Subject line of this is trash kid or creepy kid? You decide. Hey, ladies. Love y'all. Love the pod.
00:25:34
You want trash kids? I was that with an extra dash of creepy. So it's a self-reporting email.
00:25:41
I'm nine years old and it's a warm summer evening at my local softball fields, a wonderful place that smelled of burgers and hot dogs and a place where I always had a friend,
00:25:49
coach, or distant family member throwing in the distance. So my mom and I always like to arrive extra early before my games and in parentheses it says probably to get me out of the house and burn as much energy as possible We quickly run into my teammate also nine years old and her little sister six and dad
00:26:08
Parentheses, probably with the same motive. And we ask our parents if we can go explore.
00:26:13
I'm sure they thought we meant to go to the playground when they said yes. But no, we didn't have time for the playground.
00:26:19
We wanted to find treasure. And treasure we did find. After getting the nod of approval, we march off into the woods that surrounded the field.
00:26:28
We walk for a bit along the railroad tracks that were just on the other side of the tree line.
00:26:33
And then a parentheses that says, I know, so unsafe, but we thought we were so cool.
00:26:38
And then it says, until we see something in the distance, a skull, leg bones, ribs.
00:26:44
What a discovery. They must be dinosaur bones. What? Can you believe this? They must be so old.
00:26:52
How much money do you think we could get? Our questions and dreams filled the air.
00:26:56
Well, we must take these back with us. People must know of our discovery. Oh, my God.
00:27:00
The three of us pick up as many bones as we can carry. What? Me, proudly and carefully holding the skull.
00:27:09
Child with a skull is pretty fucking... It's like... Children of the corn. Lean on...
00:27:15
What is it? Stand by me. Stand by me. Not lean on me. It's totally different. That's for the middle-aged one.
00:27:21
I almost said Goonies. And then I was like, that's stand on me. Okay, stand by me.
00:27:24
Stand on me. Stand on me. What the fuck? Okay, go. Okay, so holding a skull. We hurry back to our parents who are watching a game and blissfully ignorant to our whereabouts.
00:27:32
I shout to them, Mama, look what we found. We found dinosaur bones. My mother's jaw drops.
00:27:38
My friend's father basically knocks them out of our hands. I'm sure he must have been terrified of what diseases his two beautiful daughters were holding.
00:27:45
And every other parent in the stand is just staring at these three children holding what turned out to be
00:27:51
a deer skeleton Holy shit That a big skull Yes it is Big long like kind of a small horse Our hopes were dashed Looking back I not sure why we immediately assumed dinosaurs
00:28:04
especially being kids from the South who had seen their fair share of dead deer.
00:28:09
Anyway, my mom must have washed off my hands ten times before the game started, and I was not allowed to roam with friends for a long time.
00:28:18
Thanks for reading, and thanks for being you. Stay sexy and don't automatically assume dinosaur bones.
00:28:23
Courtney. Kids are so creepy. So gross. And also, let's bring these bones somewhere.
00:28:31
Yeah. Let's bring them out of here and show the world it needs to be seen. Yes. Which is the find of a century. We're archaeologists.
00:28:38
I do have to give a plug right now because this past two weeks, Frank has found a dead deer in
00:28:44
the backyard somewhere because he keeps bringing bones. How do you know they're deer? Karen,
00:28:50
This is the start of a fucking one of our stories. I know. It sounds like a lie because I'm just going along with what just happened.
00:28:56
But this. No, I believe you. I have pictures. But if it's a human. No, no. Because the first one he came up with had a little hoof and it still had a little fur on it.
00:29:04
Oh, my God. And the other day I was walking through the front room and I looked down and there was just a spine.
00:29:09
Fuck. It's wild. And it keeps happening. Stop. No more bones. I know. No thanks.
00:29:15
But good dog. What? But good dog. But good dog, Frank. send us your fucked up bone stories.
00:29:20
Ooh, fucked up bone stories, fucked up bone stories. Any kind. Yeah. We need them.
00:29:24
Did you break a bone and it stuck out? Ooh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have like metal plates?
00:29:30
We want to know. Bring it on. Yeah. And stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye.
00:29:35
Elvis, do you want a cookie? Yeah. This has been an exactly right production. Our senior producers are Alejandra Keck and Molly Smith.
00:29:48
Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo. This episode was mixed by Liana Squalachi. Email your hometowns to myfavoritemurder at gmail And follow the show on Instagram at myfavoritemurder Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts And now you can watch us on Exactly Right YouTube page
00:30:05
and while you're there, please like and subscribe. Goodbye. Goodbye. Hey everyone, it's Kel Penn.
00:30:17
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Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

  • 70
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  • 70
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  • 65
    Funniest
  • 60
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Episode Highlights

  • Dr. Death the Cowboy
    A charming neurosurgeon leaves a trail of broken bodies instead of healing them.
    “This is a story of greed, betrayal, and a fight for justice.”
    @ 00m 51s
    September 15, 2025
  • Lucille Hartman's Crime
    Lucille shot her husband point-blank and displayed no regret during her trial.
    “She fired at William point blank once while he was standing and twice when he fell.”
    @ 05m 12s
    September 15, 2025
  • Kidnapped by Grandparents
    A trip to Canada turns into a kidnapping scare at the border.
    “Timmy screamed back, they can't drive me to another country.”
    @ 15m 55s
    September 15, 2025
  • Dylan the Dog's Pool Adventure
    Dylan, the dog, surprises everyone by jumping off the diving board at the pool.
    “Everyone was quite tickled and nobody thought he would go through with it.”
    @ 23m 46s
    September 15, 2025
  • The Dinosaur Bone Discovery
    Three kids find what they believe are dinosaur bones, leading to a hilarious misunderstanding.
    “We found dinosaur bones!”
    @ 27m 32s
    September 15, 2025

Episode Quotes

  • Holy shit.
    MFM Minisode 453
  • Oh my god, right?
    MFM Minisode 453
  • That is fucking incredible.
    MFM Minisode 453
  • Stay sexy and always wait your turn.
    MFM Minisode 453
  • Mama, look what we found. We found dinosaur bones.
    MFM Minisode 453
  • But good dog, Frank.
    MFM Minisode 453

Key Moments

  • Neurosurgeon's Betrayal00:48
  • Home Invasion03:07
  • Lucille's Crime05:12
  • Border Control Incident16:10
  • Free Range Kids21:14
  • Dylan's Diving Board23:51
  • Embarrassing Parents24:30
  • Fucked Up Bone Stories29:21

Tension Over Time

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown