00:00:00
This is exactly right. of AT&T, Verizon, and T-Mobile customers compared to 12 months on the Boost Mobile Unlimited Wireless plan
00:00:33
as of January 2026. For full offer details, visit BoostMobile.com. Hello! And welcome to My Favorite Murder.
00:00:56
That's Georgia Hardstark. That's Karen Kilgariff. And today we have two very impressive guests on the show.
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He is an immigration and criminal defense attorney who you might know from TikTok.
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She is a senior leader in the nonprofit world and a self-professed frustrated writer, fledgling wedding officiant and curly hair activist.
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Correct. And they're here to talk about their brand new legal podcast, which debuts in mere days here on Exactly Right Network.
00:01:22
Please welcome all the way from New York City, the hosts of Brief Recess, Michael Foote and Melissa Malbranch.
00:01:29
Hi. Hi, everyone. Yay. Big reveal. The wig comes off. Just. It's gone. And here we go.
00:01:39
Yeah. Hi. Thank you for having us. We're so excited to be here, really. Thank you.
00:01:43
We're thrilled to have you. Thrilled to have you. Thank you. In a time like this.
00:01:47
I think we should go back to the ketamine conversation. We were just chatting. We were just chit-chatting.
00:01:51
Karen, we've been calling her. Ketamine Karen. She's in the studio. She's on it right now.
00:01:57
We're going to do the first live podcast. Ketamine. I actually grew up with horses, so it is a very apt conversation.
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It's a horse tranquilizer that humans have, you know, appropriated. Yeah. Like they do for everything.
00:02:10
Right. That's true. Horse appropriation. Leave it to the white man in the room to be like, let's talk about appropriation.
00:02:15
Let's talk about taking horse culture, reappropriating it for my club, my circuit.
00:02:21
party for your club night yeah um no ketamine therapy is what i've been doing and it's incredible
00:02:27
it's helped with like deep anxiety i think like i used to get really bad panic attacks
00:02:32
and just sort of like shifted the way i sort of like perceive myself when i'm like experiencing
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anxiety do you get anxiety you're always like the cool calm collected i will say that historically
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I have not had anxiety, but perimenopause, that bitch. Dude. Let me tell you something.
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And since I really, and since then, my anxiety is ridiculous. And it's about anything.
00:03:00
It could be about anything, about nothing, right? And I was actually going through my text messages looking for something.
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And I found a thread between my cousin and I where I was saying to her that I had just
00:03:12
come back from my gynecologist who said to me, I think you're in perimenopause in 2017.
00:03:19
I am still there. You're not on any, are you on anything? Oh, yes. Oh, I got my patch.
00:03:25
I'm on everything. I got my patch. But I'm not on. Not on ketamine yet. I am on the patch.
00:03:29
But I'm not on ketamine. And I feel like the anxiety is such that it can almost paralyze you.
00:03:36
Yes, I've been there. And I think for me, what was so surprising is that I didn't know what was happening to
00:03:41
me. Right. So I just thought I was going crazy. I remember when you and I were connecting a couple years ago when this was starting to happen.
00:03:48
And you were like, I actually think I'm going insane. Well, they didn't talk about it in 2017.
00:03:53
It's just now that we're finding out this huge explosion. And I remember, you know, I went to my mom and I was just like, did you have this?
00:04:01
No. Yep. Same with my mom. My mom never had it. Turns out, no. Never had it. They just got hot every once in a while.
00:04:06
Other than that, it was fine. Can we turn the air on? I'm sorry. Can we get the air on?
00:04:10
You know, actually, yes. I am so hot. But interestingly, I remember when my mom, I didn't know what it was at the time.
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But I remember there was this period of time where I felt like my mother was going insane.
00:04:23
And I remember saying that to my dad. I think something's wrong with mom. And he was like, like what?
00:04:27
And I was like, I don't know. I'm a child. I wasn't. I was in my 20s. But like she was acting so crazy.
00:04:34
and she, in hindsight, I'm realizing, was having panic attacks, was having anxiety.
00:04:41
It's when her claustrophobia really sort of exploded. Those hot flashes. Like you can't explain that to someone who won't get them
00:04:46
that it does feel like claustrophobia a little bit. Like you're just, you need to take off all of your clothes now
00:04:51
and you're angry about it. Yes. You're also very angry. No, I've been there. I'm not going through menopause,
00:04:58
but I have angrily wanted to rip my clothes off before. No, I can remember one day like coming off of the subway,
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going into the office and feeling like I was going to die. I went into the ladies room.
00:05:08
I took off all my clothes and pressed my back up against the stainless steel door.
00:05:16
So good. Because the heat is coming from inside the house. Yes. It's horrific. It's like what they say is up to high.
00:05:24
Totally. You just can't control it in any way. Nope. And it is a surprise. The thing that's driving me crazy is now on TikTok, the big thing where they're talking
00:05:32
about, oh, in women's medicine, they've never done any research about the way A, B, C, D.
00:05:37
So this idea that now in 2025, we're suddenly talking about perimenopause and menopause is
00:05:42
a disgrace. It's insane. Well, historically, they would just be like, oh, you're crazy.
00:05:47
Why don't you just not be crazy? I had read this thing where they were talking about burning witches at the stake and the women were usually like in their 40s Yeah Oh my God I mean again I don know
00:06:05
I mean, it was, yeah. I mean, that fits. But it fits, right? It kind of makes it feel like, okay, that's what it is.
00:06:10
Yeah. I know. I think about my mom, too. And like she had to get on, you know, antidepressants and anti-anxiety.
00:06:16
And yeah, it was probably just hormones. Yeah. But they didn't check that back then.
00:06:20
Melissa called me one day and she was like, I honestly am so filled with rage. I think I don't know if this is attorney client confidentiality that I'm preaching right now.
00:06:28
I didn't do anything, so it's fine, but I wanted to. She was like, I actually am concerned about what I might do to someone.
00:06:34
Like, I am so angry. And like, I mean, I don't know if this is sort of related, but a little bit.
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So a few months ago, do you remember this? A few months ago, I was getting off the subway and I.
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Oh, we talked about this on the show. We talked about this on our podcast. I accidentally stepped on the back of someone's foot and I said, oh, excuse me.
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this man turned around and he kicked me wait that's not even the worst part of it
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and I was the first call it was like okay assault on the subway I kicked him back
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yes she but like that was a part of it that like you weren't wrong you weren't wrong
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no no but like that is not who I am I don't kick people but I kicked this man back
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and this other man behind me came he was like no no no no no I didn't kick him too
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the other man the other man behind me it was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle moment. Very gently touched
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me in the back and was like, don't do this. And I was like, he kicked me! Oh, what an angel, that person.
00:07:29
I know. But I was like shaking. I was so enraged and I feel like that has never been me before. And I
00:07:37
don't know if Taraji Henson was on somebody's podcast and she said that she really
00:07:43
feels that we are born with a certain amount of fucks to give and by the time you get
00:07:49
Yes. And by the time you get to your 50s, you are out of fucks. I am 53 years old.
00:07:56
I am negative fucks. So keep your feet to yourself. Keep your fucking feet to yourself.
00:08:01
You're going to lose a toe, bitch. Watch your mouth. And I'm willing to go down.
00:08:05
Like it's weird. Instant violence. What level of violence can you enact on someone who just kicked you without getting...
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Okay, so under tort law, you have a duty breach, causation, and harm. So you have a duty to behave a certain way in society.
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If there is a breach, such as someone kicks you, then that duty has been breached.
00:08:26
It has to be the causation. You have to cause someone's harm. So the harm is usually damages.
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So in this situation, the harm sounds mostly emotional, I think, is what we can ascertain.
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So I would say that it probably wouldn't pass the sniff test for a court, a civil suit.
00:08:47
And I think— Usually there's some sort of documented medical issue. Either way, with her side or that man's side?
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It depends on the state. So this was in New York. Yes, it was. So it depends—contributory negligence.
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So if you were someone who contributed to the other person's harm and they harmed you as well, it kind of, like, cancels out in some cases.
00:09:04
It's a wash. So it sometimes comes out in the wash. So would her flat tire and then the kick wash?
00:09:12
The extra kick, I need to know. A flat tire is technically not. Right. And I also apologized, right?
00:09:19
Like it wasn't just like I was like. No, that was you were at zero. That was a curable.
00:09:24
Yeah, we cured in the moment. The other thing I will say is that to be fair, neither one of us had any power behind the kick.
00:09:30
I feel like the kick was symbolic. It was middle school kickball. I punched my best friend in high school and I really didn't mean it.
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So I didn't hurt her. It just came out. He didn't hurt me and I didn't hurt him.
00:09:43
I think I was just I was so offended. I was offended. Symbolic kick. Yes. Well, also to go from, okay, a slight accident to, okay, intentional harm.
00:09:56
Right. Violence. It's such a crazy choice. That is a wild decision. It's New York City in the morning on a commute.
00:10:02
It's happened to all of us. Yes. Right? It's like, get over yourself, asshole. Get over it.
00:10:07
But in these trying times, are you seeing this? Is this a thing that's like an escalating thing where the normal interaction would have been no problem?
00:10:17
from that guy. Yes. But now everyone is under this insane stress. I will say, do you think this?
00:10:22
I feel like we are still not okay from the pandemic. I was just going to bring up this pandemic.
00:10:27
We just kind of walked out of it. She was like, yeah, we were like, okay, back to work divas.
00:10:31
Like we weren't like, oh, we should all probably go to therapy. That was traumatic.
00:10:35
Really traumatizing, right? I mean, we were stuck inside the house and it felt like, and it's easy, I think, to look
00:10:41
back on and be like, okay, we made it out relatively okay. But in the very beginning, it felt like the zombie apocalypse was upon us.
00:10:50
It was very scary. A pizza delivery was going to kill us. We all thought we were going to die.
00:10:57
We were wiping down cereal boxes. Wiping down cereal. Leaving the mail outside. And it didn't help that the commander in chief at the time, whatever how you feel, in the very beginning did not take it seriously enough.
00:11:12
And there were a lot of people that we thought we could trust who were saying, it's like getting a cold.
00:11:18
Is it? Do we know this? I know. Right, exactly. Remember when we were watching Italy, we were like, oh.
00:11:25
And we were watching what was happening in Italy. The bodies like stacked up in the trucks.
00:11:28
Yes, in Brazil. It was awful. And in New York, there were choppers overhead 24-7.
00:11:33
That's right. So it was like living in the Saving Private Ryan situation. The streets were so empty and it was bizarre.
00:11:41
And I also think what's interesting, like, you also saw that, like, wildlife came back around, right?
00:11:46
Right. Birds. The pizza rat took over. Birds. The water was cleaner because as human beings—
00:11:53
We were drinking from the East River It was a beautiful time It was It was a magical time right I never seen out my front window of a beautiful view of the valley and it was crystal clear
00:12:06
I could see so far that I was like, what is that mountain over there? I've never seen that before.
00:12:11
So, I mean, it just shows you, like, we are the problem. Right, 100%. We are the problem.
00:12:15
Human beings are the problem. It's us. Whether it's on the subway or up where the view is.
00:12:20
All of it. It's all of it. We are the problem. It's true. Oh, my God. How are you guys going to solve that problem on your podcast?
00:12:27
So anyway, yes, we actually we have a 10 step plan. It starts with 10 toes down, kicking people on the subway.
00:12:35
That is the whole plan. But yeah, so we're excited about the show. I mean, we actually are approaching a lot of these issues on the podcast.
00:12:44
I for the people who maybe know me from the Internet, maybe they don't. Everything I do, there has to be a this is what you can do button on the end of it.
00:12:54
I don't want any more doom scrolling. I don't want any more think pieces about fascism.
00:12:59
It's not interesting to me. It is depressing, speaking of ketamine. And it's just not something I'm interested in consuming anymore.
00:13:08
And I just feel there's like this. I'm not a journalist, but I am like a citizen who has at least some knowledge of what folks can do to flex their democratic muscles to combat what's going on in this country.
00:13:20
I do a lot of work with immigration advocacy. So I a lot of what I do is like, OK, this is literally what you can do from your sofa right now if this is pissing you off, if this is bothering you.
00:13:30
So we don't cover any fucking story that doesn't have something at the end where it's like this is what you can do if you didn't like this and you want to do something.
00:13:38
It's a teaching moment. It's a teaching moment. And like not like a like didactic educational like sit down and eat your vegetables situation.
00:13:46
It's like, no, we're going to talk to this congressman. And I think in the first episode we talked to a congressman.
00:13:50
Yeah. And I'm like, dude, what is the literal to-do list of what you are doing to fix this?
00:13:55
It's overwhelming. It is very overwhelming. Especially on social media. It's like, no, that person was wrong.
00:14:00
You have to do this. No, this person is wrong. You have to do that. This is, you know, and it's just you don't know where to start.
00:14:05
And I think the great thing is that because Michael is an attorney, he sort of understands the law.
00:14:09
I am not, though. So I feel like maybe I can represent, like, most people in the audience, right?
00:14:15
So I'll ask him questions like, okay, that's great for you as an attorney to go in and help one person.
00:14:20
What can I do? What can I do? And I think I think a lot of us are have grown weary of hearing this advice of like, well, right, you're a congressman.
00:14:30
All right. Sure. Yes. That bitch. Right. Yes. No. Right. What is this? The fucking Victorian?
00:14:37
Write a letter. Write a quill. Write a quill. Write a quill. Write a sternly worded.
00:14:41
Stamp it with your missive. Anna Karenina letters on a train. What can I actually do?
00:14:48
Right. As somebody, as a lay person, you know, somebody who has sort of average resources, right?
00:14:53
And like, I don't have a huge social media presence, but what can I do? What are the conversations that I could have with people?
00:14:57
And I think, you know, at the end, we're all looking for hope, right? But real hope, not like airy-fairy.
00:15:07
Do you know what I mean? Like, I hate that. Like, well, you could just sort of like, I love my family very much, but like...
00:15:15
I love a qualified student. No, no, no. You have to say it, right? But like a lot of the times and if you are, we have WhatsApp groups.
00:15:22
And I think this is like a very sort of immigrant sort of situation. There's a family WhatsApp group.
00:15:28
Melissa's family is from Haiti. From Haiti. And they are big prayers. Right. They love to pray.
00:15:33
They love a good saint. And I think what I get really frustrated at is like, you know, God is in charge.
00:15:42
That's great. Yeah. That's great. If you are a believer, not everybody is. And that's also OK.
00:15:46
but what can I do? We also have like non-deities in charge too who have responsibilities.
00:15:52
In the meantime, because it seems like there's like kind of a disconnect. The internet connection isn't great between us
00:15:57
and like, you know, G.O.D. So like in the meantime, what is God's broadband? What can we actually do?
00:16:06
What is, you know, what is one thing that I can do, right? Like an individual thing.
00:16:11
That's how I mean the podcast kind of came together was because Melissa and I would sort of get together
00:16:15
and we'd be like, what is going on? What can we do? And we would kind of talk about it, especially
00:16:20
around the Black Lives Matter movement. We were sort of figuring out, and those were
00:16:23
the dark days of the pandemic. That was that first year. What can we do? How can
00:16:27
we be safe? What can we do if we get arrested? What happens if something goes down at a protest?
00:16:33
People were getting beaten in the streets for no reason. So we were kind of looking at each other
00:16:39
just as dear friends. What do we do? How do we help? So that was really like when we came into the show, we were like, all right, that is the governing principle.
00:16:50
That is our guiding light. I love that because it's like when two people who agree completely talk, it's like now turn to us.
00:16:58
And that's a podcast. Exactly. It's like we love true crime together. Let's fucking talk to each other about it.
00:17:05
It makes me think, though, about, you know, the amazing No Kings protests. But then, of course, like the two, three days later, where you start to hear on social media is like protests don't do anything.
00:17:16
Marches don't do anything. And it's like just as a person who isn't, you know, I grew up in the 80s and 90s where political action was not cool.
00:17:25
It was like you don't talk about that. That's for those people that went to like the student UN or whatever.
00:17:31
And like everybody else needs to be rock and roll. And you're watching, you know, the fall of democracy kind of in front of you.
00:17:37
And me seeing that where I'm like, that feels like a bad faith voice that's now in here when clearly that was powerful and huge.
00:17:46
And then you see the ice raids and you see these people being taken and the rest of the community just coming right up and around And then they walk away And I like that what it does That what it does And that is the best part about it right I mean my husband and I we take the dog for a walk every night and we have like a debrief
00:18:06
We do like our daily sort of like debrief. Love it. Is it one of those dogs on your shirt?
00:18:11
Jack. Jack is a bad dog. Jack is a bad dog. Jack is a very bad dog. He's a villain.
00:18:15
I love it. He's wanted in all 50 states. Yes. Yes. Sexual offender. Megan's Law.
00:18:21
Just humping strangers and dogs in the store. Like he is a wild animal. He is a rescue.
00:18:26
He lives with two men for a reason because he can't handle any other situation. And he's 13.
00:18:31
Oh, he's not changing. Dementia. Yeah. Yeah. Just watch your back. Does he have dementia?
00:18:36
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, really? He's starting to sunset at night. Oh, my God. He's so good.
00:18:40
But he's – I love him. Yeah, of course you do. Of course you do. He's becoming even more adorable and endearing as he just becomes like this like crusty goblin
00:18:48
and is just like wandering around the house late at night just like looking at you.
00:18:52
I have a senile cat and she screams. Mimi. Mimi. Scream. How old is Mimi? She's like 16.
00:19:00
Okay. And she's going through it. And people keep giving us catnip toys shaped in knives, like bloody knives and axes.
00:19:06
So she carries a bloody knife around the house. Scream. I don't know. Sorry. This is not here or there.
00:19:11
This is not you. George is actually pitching you her new horror movie. It's coming from inside the house.
00:19:16
I know. I know. The irony of being killed by a cat is so sad. I'd kind of be okay with that.
00:19:22
That's actually that's probably in Final Destination 3D or something. Yeah. Like the cat comes out of nowhere.
00:19:27
OK, you're walking your dog. We go on these walks and we sort of debrief like and we were talking about the New King's protest.
00:19:31
And I was like, Brad, like, what did it do? Like, why is this important? And like he's like much more emotionally stable than I am.
00:19:38
And he was like, think about like the impression that made on everyone. Not not the president.
00:19:45
Yeah. Everyone else in an elected position in government saw this outcry, saw all these people coming out.
00:19:53
And when you're looking at that crowd as an elected official, who isn't in the White House?
00:19:58
You're seeing the people who are going to vote or not vote for it in this election.
00:20:03
That is the real power of something like that. Interesting. What else does protesting do?
00:20:09
That sounds so dorky. But I really want to know because I'm scared to go out in big crowds like that.
00:20:14
And like, what's going to happen? Is it smart to like, you know, get in the middle of an ICE raid? Is it smart to like, what should you do if you see that?
00:20:23
Yeah, that's a really good question. I asked that question, too. You know, what do I do if ICE comes into my neighborhood? What do I do if ICE comes to my workplace? What can I do?
00:20:32
I mean, there's a part of me that feels like if they're in my neighborhood, I'm going to go out and just start yelling.
00:20:38
La migra. Immigration is here. Don't open your doors. Don't open your doors. Immigration.
00:20:42
I feel safe doing that. The ACLU currently has a lawsuit up against this administration, against ICE, because they are arresting American citizens now.
00:20:52
And they're being held in detention centers, which is a clear violation of so many constitutional movements.
00:20:57
Did you see that when they tried to... The guy yelling, I'm from the Bronx? No, Brooklyn.
00:21:01
I'm from Brooklyn. I'm from Brooklyn. Oh, my God. The New Yorker in me, my heart just opened up and he was just like, suck my dick.
00:21:10
He was amazing. The best. That and the girl in the polka dot dress. Oh my God, that was so crazy.
00:21:17
With a double middle finger, love her. For me, I'm just like, I mean, I always think know thyself is like the governing principle in everything I do.
00:21:24
It's like, okay, I know I'm a white man. I'm usually in a suit and a tie. I'm usually at like an immigration courthouse.
00:21:30
I am going to be the person who's in the middle. Like that is how I need to like exercise that privilege.
00:21:35
You can stand up. Yes, exactly. I get incredible privileges in life being a white man in a suit who has an education.
00:21:43
I can walk right past security guards into any building or business in New York City.
00:21:48
Security doesn't follow me around stores. OK, I get all these like fun privileges when I get pulled over.
00:21:53
Nothing weird happens. OK, what can I do to help those people who don't have those same privileges?
00:21:59
Right. So how can I intervene in that adversarial situation where someone's getting arrested?
00:22:04
How can we? Like how can people like us? Yeah. So thinking a lot about like depending on the situation, like I can't advise people to break the law because I'll lose my license.
00:22:12
Come on. Do it. No. But I mean definitely attending protests, definitely contacting.
00:22:19
It depends on the situation too, right? I mean, there's this incredible image on TikTok of like a young girl in like a Pilates outfit with an iced coffee sitting down in front of a car that has migrants in it.
00:22:31
It's just sitting in front of a car that's trying to drive away. Wow. People who've been detained.
00:22:36
I think you figure out what your comfort level is, right? And then maybe – and as time goes by, maybe you push it a little bit, right?
00:22:44
So, you know, I think I said this on our show, right? I was talking to somebody and I'm like, you know, if somebody says something in front of you that is clearly racist or xenophobic and they think it's a joke, my favorite thing to do is to make that person feel uncomfortable.
00:22:59
Right. Oh, my God. This is the Melissa does this. And she is an absolute fucking villain.
00:23:03
Oh, tell us. I'm going to pretend. It is so funny when she does that. And I'm just like, oh, wait, I don't understand.
00:23:08
Like, turn it around to me. I don't understand why that's funny. The person will be like, well, because, you know, they're, you know.
00:23:15
They're black. They're gay. If you whisper it. I think you might be gay. And Melissa will be like, what?
00:23:24
Sorry, I couldn't hear you. What was that? I don't understand. Wait, so it's funny because of that.
00:23:29
And then eventually the person is just like frozen and they're just like, oh, no.
00:23:35
I mean, so you. Someone at one point was like, Melissa, because they're, you know.
00:23:38
Touching their skin? Melissa was like, dry skin? I was like, Melissa? Yes. And I'm like this.
00:23:44
And then like blank, blank, blank, blank. Like when you're, and frankly, the audacity, right?
00:23:50
Of somebody to come up to me, a black woman, and be like, because, and this person was not a black person
00:23:56
or a person of color. And they were just like, because you know, What? So crazy.
00:24:01
And I was like, what are you saying? Now, I didn't feel like, again, I'm not somebody who kicks people, right?
00:24:07
So I did not just like one time. I heard a different story about that. Okay, as your attorney, I'm going to have to put a halt to the questioning.
00:24:14
But if you are not somebody who is sort of naturally aggressive, right? Or you're not somebody who likes to sort of cause a scene, you do it in the space where you are, right?
00:24:26
So I made this person explain to me what it was that they were trying to do. And then there is something, and maybe this is me just being petty patty, but there's something that I find invigorating about watching the person deflate in that way.
00:24:43
You are not allowed to do that in front of me. You know, there was somebody that I knew who they had asked a question about whether or not the person was Indian.
00:24:52
And this person said. Oh, my God. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. This person said, dot, not feather.
00:24:58
Excuse me. We took great umbrage. This was a wild thing to say. What is it, the 90s?
00:25:05
Explain to me what it is that you're trying to say here. And let people sit in that discomfort.
00:25:11
I mean, that's what we do in court all the time, right? Make them uncomfortable until they are squirming.
00:25:17
And hopefully, without being preachy, right, if that's not who you are, hopefully you've turned that into some kind of a teachable moment yeah right so like the same
00:25:29
person this person was deeply problematic but you know seriously we were talking about getting
00:25:34
mexican for lunch and they said oh you're going to home depot what fired who is this person
00:25:41
i think a lot of us have sometimes people like that in our lives who think that they could say
00:25:49
things like that and that they can get away with it. If you are not somebody who is confrontational, there is a way to turn that into a teachable
00:25:58
moment. Yeah. Right. That's kind of what your podcast is going to be doing. I can't wait to see you guys interview people who don't agree with you.
00:26:05
Oh, I am. Very few people agree with them. I'm actually really interested because of the rage, the rage problem that I have.
00:26:14
Am I going to be able to like perfect timing for a podcast? Or am I going to do, what was the name of that woman from The Housewives Who Threw Up the Table?
00:26:21
Is that Leanne? Teresa. Teresa. Threw up a table. I'm not a real, I don't want her.
00:26:27
No, neither do I. I don't know that. Yeah, no, yeah. And The Table, we record at the iHeart Studios in New York, which is really fun.
00:26:33
Do they bolt down their tables? We asked our producer CJ to bolt down the table just for liability purposes.
00:26:39
But I wasn't going to, I was going to give you an out. How has that been? Because like you guys just going in and doing your weekly video podcast, is that like adjustment for you guys in any way?
00:26:53
It is. And I can it's really what's really interesting is that I can see it. Right.
00:26:57
So when I our first one, I think when I'm watching myself, listening to myself, I feel like I came across kind of wooden.
00:27:06
Do you know what I mean? I was nervous. I was nervous. I was anxious. and I'm used to the conversations that I have with Michael being between Michael and I,
00:27:14
not with cameras, not with people looking at us. But I've been able to see, we've done quite a few of them and I have gotten more comfortable,
00:27:23
you know, even though it doesn't really feel exactly like the conversations that Michael
00:27:27
and I had when we were alone, but it does, I feel very safe with Michael and I feel like
00:27:32
that's coming across, right? Yeah, and we're talking about like difficult conversations here.
00:27:36
I mean, we're talking about abortion rates. We're talking about access to contraceptives.
00:27:41
We have an opportunity. People have the opportunity to leave us a voicemail and we play it on the show.
00:27:45
I love those. They ask us their phone questions. People ask us all sorts of crazy stuff.
00:27:49
I mean, we call it Tales from the DMs where we go into like the crazy things people DM me, which is like sometimes wild.
00:27:56
Absolutely insane. But I love it so much. And sometimes it's like admitting to a crime.
00:27:59
Right, right, right. That TikTok, Michael made a TikTok recently just showing, there was a couple of them, right?
00:28:05
People saying like I did this. His client was like, I totally did it. I did it. LOL.
00:28:10
LOL. LOL. Don't worry about writing. I'm like, dude, what the hell? In writing. Yeah.
00:28:15
Has a DM ever been used as evidence in a court case? Oh, yeah. Probably, right? Absolutely, yeah.
00:28:20
So under the Fourth Amendment, anything you text or your phone records, you are technically
00:28:24
sharing them with a third party and you don't have a right to privacy. So if you are texting someone, technically you're texting AT&T who then sends it to your
00:28:34
friend. So you've already breached that expectation of confidentiality in the text message.
00:28:39
And therefore, it's not protected under the Fourth Amendment. I remember being really young and hearing that those – remember they used to have supermarket cards?
00:28:46
They were like membership cards. Yes, the BJ's card. Yes, that they can subpoena that.
00:28:51
Yes. That blew my fucking mind. A guy found out that his wife was cheating on him from the E-ZPass.
00:28:57
He got the E-ZPass records of her going back and forth to the booze house. Yeah, that'll do it.
00:29:04
I represented her in the divorce. How is she doing? She's great. Flourishing. She's got enough money to use that easy pass.
00:29:12
She's doing great. And hire me. Good for her. Get it, girl. You got this. Yeah. Round two.
00:29:18
It's such a public world. Like it's that – I think that kind of information, especially for say a Gen X or something where it's like that was not the truth for my whole life until 26, 7, whatever.
00:29:29
And now suddenly it's like, oh, you're on camera at the store. I took a Waymo here.
00:29:35
I took a Waymo here. And I'm going through, I'm going down Montana Avenue, and someone is filming me in the Waymo.
00:29:42
No. Because they're like, look at this self-driving car go by. And I'm like, I've been documented at this place here at this moment.
00:29:50
I mean aren you as a fellow Gen Xer I so glad that my life was not recorded Yeah Right Every morning I wake up and say oh Lord Thank you You know what Get it on camera right now What was it Yeah tell us Do it straight to camera
00:30:05
Well, I used to do a lot of fake talk shows where I was being interviewed by David Letterman,
00:30:10
but it was just an empty chair. Oh, my God. I used to drive around talking back to Terry Gross on NPR.
00:30:16
I'd be like, oh, what was the question? I'd go, bloop, mute, and I'd answer that.
00:30:20
I'd be like, my girl, Terry, I'd be chatting with her. This is Jeopardy. And you'd be like really trying to construct the perfect dancer where you're like, Dave, the thing about me is that just – I feel like I'm a natural.
00:30:33
I still do that. And I would do like my haunted NPR voice. You know how everyone on NPR – well, Terry, the thing about existing as a queer man in America –
00:30:42
He's so calm. Is that we look at ourselves the way that we see the world. Who is this man?
00:30:47
It's always a reflection and a mirror back of what's happening in the world around us.
00:30:51
That is actually perfect. Isn't that good? That's a good Terry Grosso. Yeah, yeah.
00:30:53
It's very believable. If you're watching, book me, my agents at CAA. I feel like my voice has never gone to that decibel in the natural world ever.
00:31:02
Not in the natural world. Such a loud person. That's a beta blocker voice, which we're also talking about.
00:31:07
Oh, I love a good beta blocker. That has got me through this tour is take a beta blocker.
00:31:11
Oh, I'm waiting for the hotels to like leave it on the pillow for me. Like a mint.
00:31:16
The mints have gone by the wayside now that everyone's like paleo and not eating sugar.
00:31:20
Right. I want a little propanol on my pillow before bed. because it does sort of just like calm you a little bit.
00:31:26
And it's nice. It's not like a Xanax where you're like tripping. Nope. You can take it in the middle of the day.
00:31:30
Operate heavy machinery. I always do. I recommend you don't. Please don't. I feel like I need to investigate.
00:31:38
You do. It just stops your racing thoughts in a way that's like Xanax does too, but you're fucked up, you know, and like addicted.
00:31:46
It turns down the like music playing in the background in your brain. Exactly. which is just Sabrina Carpenter on a loop
00:31:54
for me. It's fucking crazy. I actually oh my god, the composer from Exactly Right, I don't know if he
00:32:01
has a hit out on me because I had him change the music to and I had him base it off
00:32:08
Sabrina Carpenter. I don't know if we're allowed to say this on the show but I sent him a house tour and I was like
00:32:11
can you take the underlying 90s theme from this? Melissa and I have a lot of 90s references.
00:32:18
We do. you know, Dunkaroos, Teenage Mutant. Even though he was a child. Even though, yes.
00:32:22
And I was out here making terrible decisions. Just a few. Quite a few. Go on the name names.
00:32:28
Wait, how did you guys meet? Speaking of that life. So yeah, Melissa and I have gotten to know each other through,
00:32:34
we work together. We've known each other just for about a decade now, right? Yeah, about 10 years.
00:32:39
And we have one absolutely chaotic villainous best friend who is sort of the glue between us.
00:32:43
She's my favorite. Alyssa. And she is our best friend. Alyssa is the kind of person.
00:32:49
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alyssa is, you know, the kind of friend that you have that is down for whatever.
00:32:56
Alyssa, we're going to Croatia tomorrow. She's there. Oh, she's at the airport in Florida.
00:33:02
She upgraded your seats. Oh, and she has the miles. Like she is never home. And we track her location.
00:33:09
We track her. Because we have shared custody of this 37-year-old woman. I know. Because I worry about her.
00:33:17
I do too. I'm like, why are you at a casino? It's two in the morning. I'm only awake because my dog is pissing everywhere.
00:33:23
I'm cleaning it up and I'm checking her location. Why are you at a casino? What are you doing?
00:33:27
She's like, oh, I just got here. Wait, do you remember when she left her phone at a Yankees game?
00:33:31
And Angel found it? At a Yankees game and a guy named Angel in the Bronx found it.
00:33:35
Yes, he did. And she was like, I'm going to go meet this guy, Angel. He's got my phone.
00:33:38
And I was like, you are not. What are you doing? We're going with you. Absolutely not.
00:33:42
We're going with you. No, you can't do this. I went with her. I was like, you're paying for the Uber.
00:33:47
I'm coming with her. I'm your security. And we went and got her fucking phone. That is a good friend.
00:33:52
It was more the paperwork alone. If something happened to her, I'm not doing that.
00:33:58
I'm not talking to her parents about this. It is untenable. It's not going to happen.
00:34:03
Could Alyssa ever make an appearance on the podcast? Yeah. Chaotic corner with Alyssa.
00:34:09
The problem is she would have to be there on time. Never mind. Yes. but I do think at some point she's going to get
00:34:15
so mad. She does have major FOMO. She does. She's going to kick down that fucking studio door.
00:34:21
At the very least we have to have her call in. In a chunky boot. What can she bring to the table?
00:34:25
What can she help with do we think? What's her strength? Alyssa just brings herself like the Alyssa
00:34:31
energy. Everybody needs a friend like that. Actually I went to a drag show with Alyssa last
00:34:35
weekend in Brooklyn and she Let the record reflect. They never asked me to go to any of those things.
00:34:40
We went at midnight. And I had a couple drinks with me and Alyssa's always out so I texted her. I was like, meet me at this show.
00:34:48
I'm in the bar and I can see her through the window 50 feet away. And I'm there for
00:34:54
like 10 minutes watching her on her phone. And I'm like, what are you doing? So I called her because I'm like,
00:35:00
I know you're on your phone. And I'm in here throwing dollar bills at a drag queen.
00:35:05
And she's like, sorry, I'm booking a flight. She was booking a flight at midnight
00:35:10
drunk on the street. on the street. It's all the time. Where'd she go? I don't think she knew.
00:35:17
And it was like, that is a computer activity. That's not a phone. We don't book flights from our phones.
00:35:24
That's a laptop on the kitchen table. That's a desktop situation. Yeah, it is. We're not doing this on our phone.
00:35:30
She does. I'm too scared. I do it all the time. It's not flights, obviously, but like,
00:35:35
can you use your phone for things like that in public? Should you? I don't know.
00:35:40
No, I don't think so. I've been, yeah. Because you're putting your credit card information.
00:35:44
Yeah, but how are they going to... My credit cards have been stolen all the time.
00:35:46
Yes. I think they think I'm running game because it's like, it's always like 80, like $800 of
00:35:53
vapes in Queens were bought on my credit card Yes They go to the vape store like down the road Yes Oh totally It like 10 different vape shops Stock up while we have this credit card available And I on the phone with the person from Amex and I like I swear I not vaping
00:36:08
I promise. I don't promise. I gave it up. Listen to this voice. It's not a vaping voice.
00:36:11
This is my instrument. It's a hard smoker, okay? Right. This is American spirit.
00:36:16
I have the, like, class to do American spirits at least. Thank you. well maybe she'd be great at you guys could do like pick a side oh yeah yeah we could do a great
00:36:29
debate she'd be great about that she would be actually really good if you don't know this is
00:36:33
a little game yeah where essentially we just make you pick a side in a very benign yeah people write
00:36:38
in just their basic problems we're not going to solve anyone's big problems don't fucking listen
00:36:42
to us that's not our god i hired a litigator to come in and fucking fight about something
00:36:47
I will die on a hill right now. Okay, I'm so ready. Do you want me to go first? If you have a good one, let's do it.
00:36:52
Let's see. The subject line of the email was 17 years of contention. Hi, friends.
00:36:58
Boy, do I have the lowest stakes, longest running pick aside for you. My husband and I have been married for 17 years and at least twice a month for that entire time.
00:37:06
We have argued over which is better, the basic Kraft mac and cheese with the powder or the Velveeta shells and cheese with the sauce pack.
00:37:14
I'm not going to tell you who prefers which so as not to bias your opinion. This is such a low stakes issue.
00:37:21
We will both eat either. Our kids will eat either. It's just an argument over preference.
00:37:26
But I want the upper hand. So I'm hoping you ladies agree with me. Thanks for everything you do, Brooke.
00:37:31
Okay. Do you want to rock, paper, scissors for a side? No, you go ahead first. Okay.
00:37:35
Well, should I do like an opening statement? I wish you would. Be a professional.
00:37:40
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. I will be representing the Velveeta cheese here in court today.
00:37:48
And you're going to hear a lot from the defense about what is and is not cheese and what constitutes cheese.
00:37:54
We have experts here in the courtroom who are going to talk about the process that powders go through and how they are still cheese, even though they're reconstituted.
00:38:03
However, let's say an animal gets run over in front of your house, right? Very sad, very tragic.
00:38:08
And no one comes and cleans it up. And it's a particularly dry season. and it dries out, right?
00:38:14
And then it rains and it reconstitutes. Is that still an animal? I don't think so.
00:38:21
And you're going to hear a lot from the defense about what is and is not reconstituted cheese here today.
00:38:27
And what I'm here to tell you is that it isn't because Velveeta is in its purest form.
00:38:34
We're not modifying. We're not adding. You don't have to add and take away in order to give something its original
00:38:41
shape, texture, and taste. So... In closing. In conclusion, Velveeta is and always will be
00:38:52
the best mac and cheese. The best box mac and cheese. Yes. Okay. So I'm not going to do what Michael just did.
00:38:58
I couldn't do that anyway. You say that all the time. Yeah. Whatever Michael just did...
00:39:05
I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. I hate them both, but I suppose... That's the problem is that I don't like fake cheese and they both feel like fake cheese to me.
00:39:18
However, there is a certain level of creaminess to the Velveeta shells mac and cheese.
00:39:26
What I wish, though, what I wish, deeply, deeply wish, I don't like my mac and cheese with shells.
00:39:33
I like my mac and cheese with like the elbow type. So if we could do macaroni, with macaroni.
00:39:39
If we could do the creamy mac and cheese with the right pasta. Has anyone done that?
00:39:47
I don't know. You know there's somebody out there that buys both and combines the buns.
00:39:50
Sure. That's what I would go for that. I like the shell because it gets kind of stuck in there.
00:39:56
You don't like that. No, no, no. That answer is just so diplomatic. It is. It is very much, yeah.
00:40:02
Keri Russell and the Diplomat. But I feel like that's a Melissa Malbranch response.
00:40:08
Yes, yeah. That's how you do it. Like Melissa Malvern's response is always like, it's all disgusting.
00:40:13
However, I will say that, you know, I do make my own bechamel for my macaroni and cheese.
00:40:18
I do. Yeah, she does. See? What are you saying? Fancy lady. What's your recipe? A combination.
00:40:25
Ina has a good one. My grandmother had a good one. I usually combine all those things.
00:40:30
It can't just be the one kind of cheese. You need several cheeses. You do. Each one has a different purpose.
00:40:36
And I like a baked mac and cheese as opposed to a stovetop mac and cheese. But they have different purposes.
00:40:43
Yes. One is late night. Yes. Sound drunk. Yes. I need something to snack on. Feed your kids.
00:40:49
Shove it in their mouth. You're done. Yes. Melissa's always making fun of me because I go to Taco Bell when I am just glazed over.
00:40:56
And people will recognize me as like the TikTok lawyer at 4 a.m. Taco Bell. Because it's all like 22-year-olds from TikTok at the Taco Bell leaving the frat party.
00:41:06
Except for you. Except for me. I'm like. Long in the tooth. Melissa says I'm a little long in the tooth to be going out all night.
00:41:12
Can you talk about divas? Hey divas. Diva. You're not supposed to get the tooth.
00:41:16
She's like, we're getting a crutch girl. When I am there, sometimes people will be like, so my landlord's giving me trouble.
00:41:21
Oh my God. And I'm like, I've got one eye on last weekend and one eye on next weekend.
00:41:27
That is, and gone. There is no way I could be giving legal advice at this point.
00:41:31
And Brad stepped in the one time. He was like, he cannot be giving. Do not listen to anything he's saying.
00:41:35
Because he will, right? Because he was at the club with me seeing what I was doing.
00:41:40
He was like, you should not be talking to anyone right now. Not even the Uber driver.
00:41:43
Hit me up in 48 hours when I've recovered. Yes. Yeah. That's true. Okay. Want another one?
00:41:48
Wait, wait. Where do you guys come in? Oh, yeah. Yeah. We don't matter. Yes, you do.
00:41:53
What? Yeah we were trying to make you guys argue Yeah Well I have very early daycare memories of Kraft Mac and Cheese that when I smell it I just go like that Oh yeah
00:42:05
It's jump scare. I realized I was being warehoused at age four, and I was just like, what the fuck is this?
00:42:10
It's a visceral reaction. Yes. I can smell a Chobani yogurt across the subway platform.
00:42:15
I can triangulate someone's fucking location based off that goddamn Chobani smell.
00:42:20
You know that smell. It's like— Powdery. The airport at 5 a.m. Yes. You didn't sleep.
00:42:27
You're waiting to board. Oh, God. Cote your stomach. 4. Yes. The South. They're already.
00:42:32
Yeah. You're making me so sad. I know. Anyway, sorry. Bring us back. Bring us back.
00:42:36
Well, I have a Midwestern husband who loves snacks and like really bad food. So he buys the little cups, individual cups of Kraft.
00:42:45
Oh, yeah. We do the powder. We mix it up. It's like perfect. And then you add more cheese.
00:42:49
Oh, from the real cheese. Got to get that Tillamook up. It's the real cheese. Yeah.
00:42:53
I don't know what they're doing at the Tillamook factory. They're just delicious.
00:42:57
They're just happy people living in a beautiful valley. I met one of the employees.
00:43:02
You did? Yes. He's like dating my cousin. They might be married. If I didn't send a gift, I'm sorry.
00:43:09
No, you're not. No, you're not. This is a gift. I get a comment. And he was like, I've worked there for years and it's like the most wonderful employer.
00:43:18
It was actually, I think it might be a cult. We stopped there on the way from like Portland to the ocean.
00:43:26
And it's this gorgeous, it looks like you suddenly went into the picture on the front of a package of cheese.
00:43:33
Like the little hills, the like green hills go like this and in the split. Idyllic farmhouse.
00:43:38
And there's like a cow perfectly staged. And they have a dairy and a factory that you can tour.
00:43:43
And then at the end you can buy whatever they make. And there's this big ice cream shop.
00:43:49
So everybody there at the end of the tour is eating triple scoop of ice creams and smiling and like singing.
00:43:55
I think they might be singing. And frolicking. What's everyone's ice cream order?
00:43:59
That's a good one. That's a good, yeah. Peanut butter and chocolate. Peanut butter and chocolate.
00:44:03
Cookies and cream. Yeah. Bren and Jerry's has everything but the. Yeah. That's a really good one.
00:44:10
So good. That's for the girlies who can't make up their mind, right? Which is me all the time.
00:44:14
Yeah. I want a little bit of everything. I'm in chocolate chip because I'm very cleansing.
00:44:18
Yes. It's very light. It is. It's elevating. Yes. It is like the elevated choice for the modern woman.
00:44:24
The same with like the York peppermint patty where it's like, this isn't a chocolate bar.
00:44:27
Yeah. I love it. Those are my favorite. Peppermint patty. That's my favorite peppermint patty.
00:44:32
They're kind of fluffy because those are egg whites in there. Really? Yeah. It's with protein?
00:44:35
It's not vegan. So be warned. I came here today. I was like, I have a full leather jacket.
00:44:42
I've got a big leather back. And I was like, I hope no one had exactly where it is.
00:44:45
I'm so sorry. There's a couple of them. I'm sure there are. I hope they're not. And you know what?
00:44:49
I can handle it. I'm okay. You know, I've been through worse. Sure. You passed the bar.
00:44:54
You're still part of his family. I mean, was it really just a big fur, a big bare skin fur?
00:44:58
No, Marissa loves a vintage fur. We talk a lot about vintage fur on our show. It's okay, right?
00:45:03
I think it is. I mean, and maybe I'm just sort of like trying to justify what I'm doing.
00:45:09
But I feel like it's already dead, right? Yes. And I didn't do it. And it was a minute ago.
00:45:16
It wasn't like last season. The first fur coat that I got, I inherited from an aunt of mine.
00:45:20
And I will say that I remember when she got it. And for her, I feel like it was a moment where she felt she had arrived.
00:45:29
Yeah. Like it was like a big deal. I feel like in the 80s, right, when I was growing up, a woman with a fur coat was a woman who had arrived.
00:45:35
Yes. That is cool. Yes. So and she passed away and she didn't have any children.
00:45:40
And the rest of my cousins all lived in sort of tropical places. So I was like – so it was either I take it or it ends up in a landfill somewhere, right?
00:45:49
And I also – because I love estate sales so much, there was this woman who – she was in publishing.
00:45:55
She had died. She had the best clothes in the world. People in publishing have fears.
00:45:59
And New York City is like a hub for the publishing industry. I racked up and I bought her fur coat.
00:46:04
And I love it so much. But I get it that people feel – Melissa called me from the estate sale.
00:46:08
I did. And I'm a friend people call when they're like about to maybe do something unethical.
00:46:12
They're like, I just kind of want to like run the gut check past you because my ethics are a little gray, I would say.
00:46:20
I do represent people accused of violent crime sometimes. I do a lot of work with immigration defense, but sometimes there are like a lot of crimes attached to it.
00:46:29
I was just telling the two of you before we started rolling about my client who has – was maybe or maybe allegedly was caught with a bunch of heroin at the border.
00:46:38
So we've a lot of things. I'm sort of the ethical gray area friend, which is like a really fun person.
00:46:44
And Melissa did call me and ask me. She did call me as if she. I did. There was some sort of heinous crime committed.
00:46:50
Is it OK? I was like, yeah, do it. It already exists. My Yaya died and my mom donated her furs to the animal shelter.
00:46:59
Oh, my God. What? It sounds like a threat. But you know what, though? So a while ago when I got this coat, I posted it.
00:47:08
And I was just like, what do you think I should do? And a lot of people said that I should donate it to an animal shelter.
00:47:13
Yeah, for the puppies to, like, snuggle with when they're, like, if they don't have their.
00:47:18
But I was like, yeah, I don't know. Like, it felt weird, right? It's almost like giving chicken to a chicken.
00:47:26
There's a butcher shop in New York. I live there very quickly. Karen, I'm so worried where this is going.
00:47:32
And the picture outside is a little pig with a chef. Oh, I know what you're talking about.
00:47:36
Yes, it's a, yeah. And I took pictures like the first week I lived there, I was like, what the fuck is going on?
00:47:43
Yeah, what is that? He's just like, come get our sausages. And it's like, oh, no.
00:47:47
Did you know him? Or the hot dog putting ketchup and mustard on himself. What are you?
00:47:53
That is self-harm. No, no, no. That is self-harm. That is self-loathing. That is self-loathing.
00:47:58
That is self-loathing. Yeah, yeah. We're excited. We're going to talk about fat discrimination on the next episode. I'm so
00:48:04
excited because I was a former fat kid and I was treated viciously growing up. And, you
00:48:10
know, whatever your like body journey is, is your own journey. And I had weight loss surgery about 11 years ago now. And I will tell you what's been really
00:48:18
interesting about that journey is the world is not kind to fat people. Not at all.
00:48:24
And I can't tell you, I could feel the difference in the way that I was treated even by strangers.
00:48:32
People would look me in the eye now. People are just sort of kinder to me. The one thing I will say that I wish was that there is a body positivity movement right now that I wish that I would have been part of.
00:48:48
Because I think a part of what was wrong with me is that there was self-loathing.
00:48:53
Yes. Right? And really feeling like I sort of didn't deserve to be treated better, which I feel bad for the person who I was for that reason.
00:49:02
But it is amazing to see, especially young women these days, not having any of it.
00:49:07
No bullshit. It's so great. I love that for them so much. And I'm sorry that I missed out on that moment.
00:49:16
Because when I was like 17 years old or 20 years old or 30 years old, I needed it then.
00:49:21
Yeah. And it felt like it would never change. I mean, that was the kind of thing where it's like we lived in a very Vogue magazine world, very singular, the monoculture cookies, right? Diet culture was so fucked up.
00:49:32
So huge that it's like we would never have that conversation about shells and cheese versus mac and cheese, because what a pig. What are you saying? That whole culture. And I think that's the upside of social media, where it's like everyone got on there and then a bunch of people were like, hey, how about you don't say that?
00:49:48
How about you adjust that position and what you think? And we're going to talk about like discrimination lawsuits around fat people and how they're treated and like things that have been litigated.
00:49:59
So I think it'll be an interesting kind of like entree into that. But we always end up talking about like our personal experiences with these things because it's so – I don't know.
00:50:07
It's amazing. It hits home. Yeah. For a lot of people, I think. For a lot of people, for sure.
00:50:12
Even if you didn't like live that experience, you know someone or you had a family member who was always treated differently or you always heard like someone's side remark after.
00:50:20
Yeah. Yeah. What I love about this is like the legal side of things. I feel like I'm not part of that and I'm not there.
00:50:26
Like I can't be part of that conversation because I don't know legal terms at all.
00:50:31
Me either. But I love that you guys make it. Pull up the chat, CPT. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:50:37
Yeah, you know, I mean, this conversation is very similar to the podcast in that you've got your central thing.
00:50:45
You go there, but you also, like friends, just kind of chat, talk through things, discover things.
00:50:50
Yeah, we were talking about like looted art and like stolen art and then the Louvre robbery happened.
00:50:56
And we were like. Somebody got arrested. Did you see that? Yeah. So, I mean, we're recording every week.
00:51:02
It'll be a very topical episode. I think we record a couple. It comes out a couple days after.
00:51:06
So we will be covering headlines like what's really happening. And I'll dive into like the law behind it.
00:51:10
But like I'm not a Supreme Court litigator. Like I am I am at the local courthouse with your drug dealer with the person who was drinking and driving.
00:51:20
Like I am there with like the local public defenders and the local prosecutors. This is not going to be like an esoteric legal podcast where we're pontificating on like the latest Supreme Court.
00:51:30
I know, but I think the point is to sort of like give some information and also make people laugh and make people sort of recognize, oh, you know what?
00:51:39
I'm going to think about that. And maybe I heard this thing from Melissa and Michael podcast and I going to look and do a deeper dive Yeah And contextualize it too right Like what do you do if you get pulled over Okay we going to do this like twice once for white people and once for black people
00:51:53
For sure. Because the things that happen to the two of us when we get pulled over are very different.
00:51:57
They're very different. Yeah. And I've started giving legal advice in my practice to migrants based off of their appearance,
00:52:04
based off how brown they may appear, which is, it's always kind of been like that.
00:52:09
I mean criminal defense attorneys and immigration attorneys, we've always had to sort of think about like, OK, this client is from Sweden.
00:52:15
It's going to be a little bit different. Maybe we do this thing a little bit differently or do something over here.
00:52:20
But now it is quite explicit. It was always like inferred. And I think especially defense attorneys were always acutely aware of like racial injustice and the justice system.
00:52:31
But now it is so explicit. The quiet part is being said out loud with your full chest.
00:52:37
So it's been a really interesting time to start a podcast because the first episode I was like, what the fuck are we going to cover?
00:52:46
I mean, there's so many things. We've got too many things to talk about. Yeah, there's so many things.
00:52:51
So much. But we'll be in the studio every week talking about it. And I always say I'm flying around New York City on my broomstick.
00:52:58
I bike everywhere. I bike up and down Second Avenue to the courthouse. And then I come after court wraps at like 5 o'clock.
00:53:06
You wear a helmet. I fly up on my bike with a helmet. He does wear a helmet. I do.
00:53:10
Safety first. My dad taught me that. And I fly up to the studio after trial wraps.
00:53:18
Oh, my God. Let's do – should we do one more pick aside? Oh, yeah. And then we'll do a pick aside for them.
00:53:24
But it'll be all constitutional law. And we won't be able to answer. We don't know.
00:53:30
We told you we didn't know. We're sweating. Okay. Should I do one? Yeah. Okay. This is Solve My Disagreement.
00:53:35
do you shower after having a bath? Hello, MFM family. Love you all. Recently, I had a disagreement with my fiance.
00:53:42
At the time, I was so sure I was in the right that I polled my friends and family to find out
00:53:46
it was more of a divisive topic than I had. I don't know if it's divisive or divisive
00:53:51
because I said one on TikTok and everyone fucking came for me. They were like, this disgusting man doesn't know how to pronounce it.
00:53:59
They came for me. I think they doxed me. People just started calling my phone after that.
00:54:04
Oh, my God. Just for that word. It could be that or the Swifties. I'm not sure. Their very bad is so easily triggered.
00:54:11
Everyone's divisive about it. Divisive. Divisive. I don't know. I still don't know.
00:54:16
Data, data. Everyone got so mad I didn't know which one it was. I'm going to do both.
00:54:19
Do both. So piss everyone off. Add the slash. When you have a bath, do you shower afterwards?
00:54:24
My view is that you do all that relaxing, that showering afterwards would just undo the relaxing.
00:54:29
The bath also cleans you. That's how people have been cleaning themselves for centuries.
00:54:34
My fiance says that you need to wash off the suds if, for example, it was a bubble bath.
00:54:38
What other people have said is that you are lying in your own dirt. That's what my husband says.
00:54:43
That's what I think. That's what I think, too. That's what I think. What I have realized in my information gathering is that most people who are British, where we live and where my family is, agree with me.
00:54:52
But my fiance, who is Polish, and a lot of my friends who are from other countries, they have another opinion.
00:54:58
I haven't asked any Americans yet. Please help solve the difference. Thank you, Lottie and Herbert.
00:55:02
I'm sorry. We're not taking any advice from England on, like, hygiene. I'm sorry to any British divas.
00:55:09
I'm sorry. All of us around the table have fierce teeth. We're looking iconic. We're not going to England for any of how we're going to.
00:55:16
I've been there. I've lived there. It is wire. First of all, in England, the two faucets, hot and cold, about a mile apart on the fucking sink.
00:55:25
Why? I'm getting them changing time zones to get warm water. This is absurd The war is over guys Get it together I did they run the world for 300 years That was absolutely By force Yes But like anyway so that was the first thing I heard
00:55:41
And the second thing I heard was, for centuries, people have been bathing like this.
00:55:45
I don't think it's been documented that they were bathing particularly well centuries ago.
00:55:49
No, they used to share the bathwater. They shared bathwater. Yes, yeah. So, ew. Plain and simple.
00:55:58
Let's do the most updated version. Yes. Instead of looking back to our ancestors.
00:56:03
What would they have wanted to do? Probably get in the fucking shower. I wish I could get this film off me.
00:56:08
We are all post bath showers. I'm not. I'm 100% not. You are not? I am 100% not.
00:56:13
So after a bath, you just get out. Yeah, I just cleaned myself. But you've been.
00:56:18
No. No, I'm not dirty though. My husband and he was like, what are you? And I was like, why are you getting in the shower?
00:56:24
Like, what a fucking wake up call after this relaxing thing. I mean, I'm not that dirty to begin with.
00:56:30
To begin with, you're taking a bath as like a... I wanted to tell you. Oh, no. Oh, no.
00:56:36
No. George has always just had a little bathtub ring right there. Just a little ring.
00:56:41
No. Are we thinking that the bath is for cleaning or relaxing? Both. I think both.
00:56:48
Okay. I think that sometimes the bath bombs are like so strongly scented. I worked at Lush in 2009 as a holiday hire before law school.
00:56:58
I had to make money while I was studying for the LSATs. I had four jobs and that was one of them.
00:57:02
Wow. And my laundry smelled fucking wicked. Yeah. After the end of the day, those bathrooms smelled crazy.
00:57:09
I mean, it's asking for a UTI not to fucking rinse off for sure. Yes. But as someone with very thick hair, I can't wash my hair in a bathtub.
00:57:18
Oh, no, no, no. So you're definitely – This is like, yeah, from the neck down. Maybe like a face mask.
00:57:24
Okay. Some magnesium salt. Magnesium salt. Magnesium dries my skin out a little bit.
00:57:30
Oh, yeah. Same. Yeah, but then I have to. But then you add in something else. Yeah.
00:57:34
Yeah. I definitely feel like the bath for me is relaxing, not cleansing. But showers aren't don't wake me up.
00:57:41
Showers, I'm like still going to sleep. The shower and the bathtub have to be separate.
00:57:46
Oh, you won't do a shower towel. Okay, Miss Diva's never lived in New York. Oh, my God.
00:57:51
No, no, no. I always make a bath in the sink. Same. Same. I mean, I've lived in apartments and I haven't taken – didn't take baths for two years.
00:57:57
My neighbor fell in the tub. This is like – oh, my God. Oh, I remember that. This is like crazy.
00:58:00
And I think I called you. Yes, you did. Because why would I call my husband? No, no, no.
00:58:04
I called Melissa. And this is – these are the friends we are. When your cat died, you called me.
00:58:08
Not her husband, Andre. Like this is how – this is how emotionally dependent we are on each other.
00:58:14
This is how best friendships really work. They were like, can you come help deadlift this 90-year-old man out of the tub?
00:58:21
My neighbor came and got me. and I'm like you know I'm there I'm like I'm ready and I go down
00:58:26
hard cut to me trying to deadlift this man out of the tub it was and I was like wait was he alive
00:58:32
I was like he needs medical assistance they didn't want him to go to a hospital they were like he might get an infection
00:58:38
and I was like this is this is beyond my capabilities at this point this is not as a neighbor this is like yeah
00:58:45
and I went back 40 minutes go by the police came I'm talking to the police We're doing a translator situation.
00:58:52
I go back upstairs. My husband's still watching TV. He's like, where were you? I was like, sorry, triage.
00:59:00
He must be nice. Checked out. Where were you? Hope you enjoyed Dancing with the Stars.
00:59:06
Watching TV. The cha-cha slide on Dancing with the Stars. What the fuck? My drag.
00:59:11
I'm downstairs covered in blood. Wait but also like if you helped him and he got hurt from it he could sue you Oh I sure Yeah And that was my thought as a naked octogenarian was laying over my shoulder bleeding on me i was like this is a head trauma situation this is really something
00:59:30
that i we need medical assistance yeah yeah you gotta know when it's beyond your
00:59:34
anyway we moved and i don't talk to my neighbors anymore let me tell you i'm serious i don't talk
00:59:41
to and i've lived there for years in my new apartment and people come they see me come off
00:59:45
the elevator and it's headphones and they want to talk to you so bad because they're like i saw you
00:59:51
i don't want to be that guy who has to come pick your grandpa up out of the tub i can't do it
00:59:59
that's too much i feel like this could go on forever i don't want to stop it but i think we
01:00:05
have to but we just need to tell you guys we are so thrilled that you are on this network with us
01:00:11
We're so thrilled to have your voices, to be able to hear what you have to say and to help guide in whatever way you guys do through friendship, through law, through life experience, whatever it is.
01:00:23
We're just thrilled. Thank you so much. Thank you for having us. This is a wonderful opportunity.
01:00:28
We're super excited. I can't wait to see what happens next. Yes, we're going to have a blast.
01:00:32
The show premieres on November 13th. That's right. We have all that info. We're going to have so much fun.
01:00:38
Get ready to laugh. questions. People need to call in their questions. Y'all need to send in those questions.
01:00:44
Because people are calling me just because I got doxed. They're just calling myself. You really did?
01:00:49
I thought you were joking about that. They doxed you? Yeah, but I get doxed all the time.
01:00:53
It's fine. It's actually not fine, but okay. If I say don't do it, they'll just do it
01:00:59
harder. But please send in your questions because we really are answering them. Yeah, we are answering them. And like I say it all
01:01:07
the time to everybody, while Michael is a lawyer. He is not your lawyer. But we really want you to write in
01:01:15
and also keep your personal information personal because people are out here giving us
01:01:19
their social security numbers. They're like, okay, here's my credit card number. Please
01:01:23
read it on the air. It's like people are sending all of their information. My name is John Smith and I live at 123.
01:01:29
Don't tell anyone where I'm located, but here I'm going to drop a pin. It's so wild.
01:01:34
And I think that you also, because we get a lot of letters at the very bottom, they'll say, keep me anonymous. Put that at the
01:01:39
top. And do it yourself. Yes. DIY. Well, thank you guys so much for being here. Thank you for having us.
01:01:47
The newest podcast on Exactly Right Network, Brief Recess, debuts November 13th, 2025.
01:01:53
Listen to new episodes out every Thursday on your podcast app and watch Brief Recess
01:01:57
on the Exactly Right YouTube channel. Go to youtube.com slash exactly right media.
01:02:02
You can watch it and then you can subscribe to Brief Recess on YouTube or you can listen
01:02:08
and subscribe and give it a five-star review wherever you get your podcasts. And please do that.
01:02:12
Yay. Thank you. Thank you for having us. Thanks for being here. Thank you, Deva.
01:02:17
Yay. Now we all do ketamine together. Oh, man. Cut the camera. Cut the camera. Elvis, do you want a cookie?
01:02:25
Ah. This has been an Exactly Right production. Our senior producers are Alejandra Keck and Molly Smith.
01:02:37
Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo. This episode was mixed by Liana Squalacci. Our researchers are Maren McGlashan and Allie Elkin.
01:02:45
Email your hometowns to myfavoritemurder at gmail.com. Follow the show on Instagram at myfavoritemurder.
01:02:50
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01:02:55
And now you can watch us on Exactly Right's YouTube page. While you're there, please like and subscribe.
01:03:00
Goodbye. Thank you.