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This is a story of greed, betrayal, and a fight for justice. Listen to Dr. Death the Cowboy wherever you get your podcasts
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Terms and conditions apply. See Pandora.net for more details. Goodbye. Goodbye. Hello and welcome to my favorite murder.
00:02:05
The mini-sode. That's right. We read you any story you send us. That's right. It has to be an email form, though.
00:02:11
That's the rule. That's right. Do you want me to go first? Sure. Okay. This one is really quite something.
00:02:18
The subject line is, the call is coming from inside the house. to the MFM crew and the hairy beasts in parentheses, canine, feline and facial.
00:02:27
And then it says, miss you, Stephen. That bring you joy. And then it says, OK, the calls I'll be referring to thankfully did not come from inside my house.
00:02:37
But you'll understand after reading my story why I cannot watch the movie when a stranger calls without a team of backup quantities of black box wine to drink and rest my feet on.
00:02:47
And that's so hilarious because I think they just mean box wine, but then they're like referencing black box from a plane.
00:02:54
So it's kind of like the really important wine. Oh, I get it. Black box wine. Yeah.
00:02:58
Or something else. I'm not sure if that's what I'm assuming. Okay. It says, I grew up in a small town called Hopewell Junction in the Hudson Valley of New York.
00:03:06
When I was in high school, my stay home mom went back to work and I would come home to an empty house for about an hour.
00:03:12
I would usually hang out in our raised ranch's downstairs family room, watching General Hospital and talking to my friends on the phone.
00:03:20
That's all we did after school. The only phone downstairs, oddly, was in our laundry room.
00:03:25
You know, the yellow one attached to the wall with the curly cord. Ours was yellow, too.
00:03:30
One afternoon after school, I was expecting a call from a boy who would be my boyfriend on and off for the next year.
00:03:36
The phone rang and I ran to get it. Then, of course, waited a few beats before picking it up.
00:03:40
Should this boy think I was too anxious, which of course I was. I answered, hello, and I was greeted with silence.
00:03:47
Hello, I said again, trying to sound flirty, yet slightly above being bothered. No answer, just silence.
00:03:53
I hung up, deflated. The phone rang again before I could sit down. I picked it right up and said slightly annoyed, hello, a man's voice deep and monotone.
00:04:03
This part's dirty, so if you are a mother with children in the backseat of your car,
00:04:07
turn the radio down now. the man says he whispers do you want to fuck what i said thinking of nothing else to say and hoping
00:04:16
i was hearing incorrectly he says it again i hung up i was stuck to the spot terrified
00:04:21
this didn't sound like a prank call from one of my schoolmates although my parents later would say
00:04:26
that it was stevie from down the street who was an asshole and a pervert they said i jumped up onto
00:04:32
the washing machine and i sat looking out the ground level window into the backyard i was there
00:04:37
when my mom came home half an hour later, I was too afraid to move. This was before the days of
00:04:42
screening and voicemail. A ringing phone could mean a best friend or a boyfriend calling. There
00:04:47
were more calls over the next three days, always when I was home alone, asking over and over again
00:04:52
that same dirty question until the third day when, as I was about to hang up before he could ask yet
00:04:59
again, he said, I think I might want to hurt you. Needless to say, I spent the next two afternoons
00:05:05
with a friend at her house. My parents had a camping trip coming up, and it was supposed to
00:05:10
be the first time that I would be left home alone for a couple of days. I had been so excited about
00:05:15
it, but not a fucking chance that was happening now. I was sent down the street to stay with my
00:05:20
grandparents, and I could not have been happier. For me, until recently, the story ended there.
00:05:25
No more calls. Eventually, I returned to General Hospital and phone gossip in the afternoons.
00:05:29
But a few months ago, more than 30 years later, my mom and I were sharing a bottle of
00:05:35
or three of wine talking about how hard it was to be the mom of a teenage daughter.
00:05:40
My mom said, I can't even tell you how scared I was when you were in high school and had that
00:05:45
horrible collar. Oh my God. She proceeded to tell me that when she and my dad had gotten home from
00:05:50
their camping weekend all those years ago my mom went downstairs to do the laundry She found the laundry room window screen had been cut and that it looked like someone had tried to pry the window open with a screwdriver Oh my God My parents called the police who proceeded to watch our house unbeknownst to me for a week or so
00:06:09
My mom also took some extra vacation time off, which I now remember. We watched General Hospital together.
00:06:15
It was nice. Oh, my God. My mom would have told me. Yeah. I love that she didn't tell her.
00:06:19
My mom totally would have told me. Yeah. And she'd be like, and so if something happens, here's the plan.
00:06:23
thankfully my gentleman caller either moved on to someone else or died a perhaps rightfully vicious
00:06:29
and untimely death love your voices your views and your vibe stay sexy and don't answer the phone
00:06:35
until your mom gets home leanne who was it also like the parents keeping the hugest shoe drop from
00:06:43
that story and being like so chill about it they even went on their vacation yeah but they sent her
00:06:49
to the grandparents like pretending to be chill for your child's sake is like such a gift well and
00:06:54
also that's back in the time when it was like peeping tom was supposed to be funny and a prank
00:07:00
caller was just it's just some boy in your class like no one treating any of that stuff like they
00:07:07
should and the fact that he only called when she was home alone means she was probably being watched
00:07:11
too so it probably was a neighbor but that doesn't mean that's not a good thing no it isn't
00:07:16
So scary. No. Oh, my God. How terrifying. Okay. This one is called Thank You Re Placenta Donation.
00:07:24
Oh. Hey, team. I normally listen to your podcast in the car, but as I was listening to the latest mini-sode yesterday, I got home with only a few minutes left on the show, so I paused.
00:07:33
This morning, home from work with a cold, I picked up the episode again, and Georgia began talking about placenta donations to train cadaver dogs.
00:07:41
Remember the mini-sode I did a few weeks back? I'm so glad I wasn't on my way to work because I immediately burst into tears in my kitchen.
00:07:47
Almost a year to the day before I started listening to your podcast, a close friend had gone missing.
00:07:52
Her home, a clear crime scene. It took hours for the police to find her buried in the backyard.
00:07:58
Those hours of waiting are dreadful. Your brain can't comprehend what's happening, so you feel some sense of hope that it's not real,
00:08:05
but you're also so sick with worry that you know you couldn't be in the situation
00:08:09
if there wasn't a chance that the worst had happened. In the end, the absolute worst had happened.
00:08:14
My friend was killed in a violent crime that had nothing to do with her. It is terrible for this to happen to anyone, but Emily was truly filled with light.
00:08:24
She made you want to be as good as she saw you. I have lived through that panic of searching for a missing loved one twice now.
00:08:31
And to know that I, at 12 weeks pregnant, can soon help other families in that situation
00:08:36
gives me greater relief and joy than I can describe. Thank you to Lauren for a message that felt timed just for me and to the MFM team for the platform on which to share it.
00:08:48
SSDGM, Elissa. Wow. I know. It's like you think you're just reading a story about a placenta and then you're actually making people cry in their kitchen.
00:08:57
Well, and also like we're just passing the word that this is a thing you can do, a way to help.
00:09:03
And then it's like it gets to the right person. Yeah. God, amazing. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace.
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Goodbye. Summer clothes should feel easy and still look polished. Low maintenance, high reward. That's how we live our lives.
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I am a fan of Quince. Yeah, Karen's wardrobe is Quince-centric. I'm a lazy basics person, and the things that I get from them,
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And they're classy. Like it doesn't look lazy, it looks classy. And it's so affordable.
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Yeah, elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash MFM for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.
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Goodbye. We're going to go to a trash dad world now, so it's a bit of a turn. All right, let's go.
00:12:31
This is howdy ho, Murderinos. Your recent call for accidental kidnapping stories reminded me of the time I framed my trash dad for kidnapping.
00:12:38
Here's the story. It's the late 80s and I'm around two years old doing my best to make my mom's life miserable.
00:12:44
She was apparently complaining about the excellent work I was doing in this regard to my dad,
00:12:48
who had the gall to respond that I was a perfect angel. so my mom must not know how to handle me.
00:12:54
Knowing a trash dad statement when she heard one, my mom replied that my dad could take me with him and do the grocery shopping then.
00:13:01
Genius. As my dad tells the story, the grocery shopping went fine until we went to leave
00:13:06
and I noticed one of those old-fashioned little rides that they used to have in front of stores
00:13:10
and insisted, Daddy, Daddy, I want to ride the horsey. Since I'd been so good, my dad figured, why not, and put in a quarter.
00:13:17
I ecstatically rode that little mechanical horse until the time ran out. They are pretty amazing.
00:13:22
Yeah. Those old ones really are kind of like as a little kid. My God. It's a good action.
00:13:27
But then the horse is so real. Yeah. It's like getting a single merry-go-round horse.
00:13:32
Or the one that would just go in a circle with a little seat. Oh, my God. It felt like you were on the top of the fucking world.
00:13:38
Yeah. As a little baby. Okay. My dad complied with my demands a couple of times until he was out of quarters and patience.
00:13:45
He tried to calmly explain to me that it was time to go. My trash dad apparently was unaware that you can't reason with terrorists or two-year-olds.
00:13:52
I refused to get off the mechanical horse, crying about making the ride go again until my dad finally grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder.
00:13:59
I took this as my cue to start screaming, help, help me. Oh, my God. And reaching out in desperation to anyone and everyone in that grocery store parking lot.
00:14:09
Realizing how this must look, my dad hurried towards his truck before anyone could call the police.
00:14:14
No. Which is also what a real kidnapper would do. So not helping yourself look less sussed there, Dad.
00:14:21
Unfortunately, these were the days before power locks or seatbelts were standard, let alone car seats.
00:14:26
And I was clever enough to know how to pull up the lock and on the car door and escape out the side before my dad could get in behind the wheel.
00:14:35
Oh, my God. I don't know how long this Scooby-Doo skit of chasing me around the car went on.
00:14:40
But eventually he managed to keep me in long enough to get us on the road before any sirens pulled up.
00:14:45
So this is a two-year-old with no car seat. Yeah. Just get in and like stand on the seat like you did on the ride here.
00:14:52
And then unlocking it and running into a busy parking lot because it's so funny and fun.
00:14:56
And I'm not. Oh, my God. I had to have parking lot danger explained to me so many times as a kid because I would just suddenly get an idea and be like, now I need to be back in the car really fast.
00:15:06
needless to say by the time we got home my dad was too trash dad to admit he was wrong
00:15:12
but he did swear to my mom that he was never taking me to the store again oh my dad jeff passed away three years ago and while he was definitely a trash dad
00:15:22
although i think in this story i was more of a trash kid i still miss him every day sharing the
00:15:27
stories he liked to tell like this one helps keep him close i hope you enjoyed it stay sexy and
00:15:32
believe your wife when she says your kid is a pain in the ass. Ivy. Oh, Ivy. Ivy. You had a real good
00:15:40
dad. I love that. I love that. Mom been like, oh, really? Yeah. Then how about? Why don't you take
00:15:44
her and enjoy yourself at the store? See how that goes. Yeah. Well, I have a kidnapper one as well.
00:15:49
Okay. Okay. A few weeks ago, you asked for kidnapping stories. So here's mine. In spring
00:15:56
2017, my best friend and I planned a girls weekend in Stockholm. Sweden? Sweden. In true
00:16:01
celebratory spirit, we ordered champagne on a two and a half hour flight and we were happily tipsy
00:16:06
by the time we landed. In hysterics, we made our way to immigration, desperately trying to compose
00:16:12
ourselves. I handed over my passport and stepped into one of those glass airlock booths, basically
00:16:18
just a mini jail that opens only when you're cleared. You know what I'm talking about. My door
00:16:22
opened. I was free. My friend stepped in next and that's when the immigration officer started
00:16:26
frowning, glancing from her to the computer, then back again. I joked, oh, they don't want you in
00:16:32
the country. You're in trouble. Don't go through immigration drunk. No jokes. If you're going to be
00:16:37
drunk, no jokes. No jokes. No, you're not funny. No, nothing is funny. No, they're not going to be
00:16:43
funny with you. Then the officer picked up the phone. Within seconds, armed police surrounded
00:16:48
us. We were escorted to a small room and seated across from two uniformed officers. Still half
00:16:53
laughing. We nervously cracked jokes, trying to figure out what we could possibly have done.
00:16:59
That's when they said it. They believed I had kidnapped my best friend and was trapping her
00:17:03
out of the UK. Cue stun silence. I stammered, what? No, we have return tickets because apparently
00:17:10
traffickers always buy round trips. Then came the twist. The officer explained that my friend
00:17:15
had triggered an Interpol alert. She'd been reported missing in 2015. And then it clicked.
00:17:20
Back in July 2015, her birthday, she'd gone out celebrating with an old friend, partied for two straight days, and completely lost track of time.
00:17:30
What birthday was it? Yeah. Meanwhile, our group was frantically calling everyone we knew, and by Sunday morning, we reported her missing to the police.
00:17:38
When she finally came home, thinking it was still Saturday, she was shocked by the panic she'd caused.
00:17:45
The police closed the case, or so we thought. Apparently, someone forgot to tell Interpol.
00:17:50
After a few phone calls and some awkward laughter, they confirmed everything. I was not a kidnapper My friend was not a trafficking victim And we were finally released escorted back by some very handsome Swedish officers who found the whole thing just as funny as we did Oh
00:18:05
We did what any sane woman would do after being detained for fake kidnapping. We went straight for more champagne and carried on with our girls weekend.
00:18:12
Nice. Stay safe and don't let your best friend sell you into the human trafficking market.
00:18:17
Goodbye, Anna Marie. Anna Marie. You joke now. Yeah. What if that was an international incident?
00:18:23
Also, I love the way they lock in the person that's kidnapped and the kidnapper is just over there hanging out.
00:18:29
No one puts that together. No, no, no. Yeah, like both of you get over here. Summer is all about saying yes, going out and bringing the mess home in your car.
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00:19:03
Goodbye. Summer is fun, but it can also completely destroy your routine. Between days at the beach, recovering from days at the beach, and then remembering you don't even like the beach, it can really mess up your day.
00:19:15
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Cachava is a clean, simple option for staying fueled when life gets busy. I am so excited about this because Vince is the crazy person who packs all his vitamins whenever we go somewhere.
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So this is like how I'm going to get it all in. And then you have a satisfying shake.
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So you have a breakfast or an emergency lunch. Like they're making it so convenient.
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Oh my God, I'm so excited. Take your daily ritual with you. Go to cachava.com and use code MFM for 15% off your first order.
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That's cachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A.com, code MFM. Goodbye. Sometimes the hardest part of therapy is just getting started.
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00:21:16
Goodbye. Okay, this story is pretty epic. I'm not going to read you the subject line. It starts,
00:21:23
Dear Karen in Georgia, when I was a freshman in high school, I went to school in an old prison.
00:21:28
And then in parentheses, it says in true murderino fashion. However, it was in a small town in rural
00:21:33
North Carolina. So it wasn't as bad as it sounds. Basically, it was just a building with tiny barred
00:21:38
windows and cinder block walls everywhere you looked. Well, one day on my way to class, I was
00:21:43
cutting up with my best friend, Abina, per usual, and running late. We were turning a corner in the
00:21:49
empty hallway when I made a particularly funny joke. As I turned to make sure that she was indeed
00:21:54
laughing, I tripped over my nerd-tastic rolling book bag and walked face first into the cinder
00:21:59
block wall. No problem, I thought. You trip all the time. Everything's fine. That is until I backed
00:22:05
away from the wall, spit one of my front teeth into the palm of my hand. That's right. I had
00:22:10
walked into the cinder block wall with my mouth open and chipped off over half my front tooth.
00:22:16
Panic set in. The world was spinning. I had only had my braces off for a few months now,
00:22:21
and I was going to go around looking like a hillbilly for the rest of my life. I was 14, and my life as I knew it was already over. As I re-situated the offending rolling
00:22:31
book bag, I took off in a mad dash that would hopefully keep me from seeing any of my fellow
00:22:36
classmates who would want to stop and chat. Unfortunately, my luck that day was bad and
00:22:41
getting worse. I turned the corner in a hurry and ran smack dab into the boy that I had the biggest
00:22:46
crush on, nearly toppling us both. I awkwardly tucked my upper lip over my teeth to hide my new
00:22:53
gap, grunted sorry without making eye contact, and proceeded to run like the wind. After giving my
00:22:58
principal a heart attack, she called my mom, and I was eventually whisked away to the dentist.
00:23:04
In between sobs and informing my mom that I would never be able to smile again, I remember to ask about our 15-year-old dog, Nick, that had been sick and at the vet.
00:23:13
I had not quite used up enough bad luck that day because that's when she handed me his collar out of her purse and told me that he had passed away.
00:23:23
Needless to say, I was a wreck at the dentist's office. I couldn't enjoy all the attention I was getting as every employee had to stop by my room to see the girl who had knocked her tooth out simply by walking into a wall.
00:23:34
Miraculously, the break in my tooth was so clean that my dentist was able to glue my front tooth fragment back on.
00:23:41
And it is still holding on to this day. Oh, and the boy that I nearly mowed down in the school hallway, he is now my husband.
00:23:48
Oh my God! And anytime I pick on him for doing something embarrassing, he isn't shy to say,
00:23:53
at least my front tooth isn't one being held together with super glue. Cheers to you, fabulous ladies.
00:24:00
All the ways you've brought joy to my life and countless others. I can honestly say that I wouldn't be the person I am today without y'all.
00:24:06
Stay sexy and don't use a rolling book bag, Jennifer. And then it says, P.S. I could never use a rolling book bag again.
00:24:13
And then here's a picture of her as a 14-year-old with a broken tooth. Oh, she's a little baby.
00:24:20
She looks pretty stoked. Or she's on good dentist drugs. Yeah, I wonder what's going on.
00:24:24
She's like, haha, it's kind of funny for a second. The idea that it's her future husband, though, is the cutest.
00:24:30
And I wonder if her like running into him and blowing him off, like made him go like, oh, who's that?
00:24:35
She didn't talk to me. Wasn't she being nice to me? I must know more about her. Right.
00:24:39
Okay. This one is my last one. I'm not going to read you the subject. Hello, everyone.
00:24:46
When I was about four years old, my mom worked overnights. And so I would sleep in her bed, which was on the first floor, while all my older siblings would sleep upstairs.
00:24:54
My mom's room had two doors where one led into the living room while the other was a door that opened up to the basement.
00:24:59
I was half asleep one night and had to use the bathroom and my four-year-old self used the wrong door and fell down a full flight of cement basement stairs and hit the wall at the bottom.
00:25:12
Like these days, I feel like they would have childproofed that door when they were pregnant.
00:25:17
Entirely. I don't remember what happened next, but when I woke up, I was in the hospital and my mom filled me in.
00:25:22
she said my brother's dog who conveniently enough we just adopted two days before must have heard me
00:25:29
crying in the basement and would not stop barking for over an hour until my brother became so annoyed and was going to put her outside And when he came downstairs he heard me crying and found me down
00:25:39
there almost bleeding to death. And they took me to the hospital. It took an hour for the brother
00:25:44
to get out of bed to stop the dog barking. That's such a brother thing. Constant barking. But the
00:25:49
parents didn't get out of bed. No, they weren't there. They were working overnight. Oh, sorry.
00:25:52
I wasn't paying attention. I had lost a lot of blood and suffered a bad concussion.
00:25:59
Holy shit. My mom said she thought I was weirdly calm and didn't seem very shooken up by it.
00:26:04
And so she asked, were you scared being down there in the basement? Remember, she's four years old.
00:26:08
And though I remember nothing, my mom swore I replied with, quote, no, the lady that was
00:26:14
down there with me kept telling me it was going to be OK and stayed with me until someone
00:26:18
came. She was the best. What? My mom couldn't believe it. And she said she grilled me about it more later.
00:26:26
and I slowly started forgetting more details about the lady and everything that happened.
00:26:30
But my grandma had just passed away not even a year before that. And my mom truly believes it was her that helped calm me down during that time.
00:26:39
A little baby in the basement. Dying. Dying. I just thank God that we got that dog a few days before because otherwise the doctor said I would
00:26:48
have bled out after a bit longer. And even though I suffered a head injury, I promise I'm not a
00:26:53
murderer and will continue to SSDGM. Thank you, ladies. You make my workday fly by. K.
00:27:00
K. That ghost was like keeping her awake too which is what you do when you have a concussion right That right You can go to sleep So she just like everything going to be okay Stay calm Stay calm We just have this dog bark for 50 more minutes till your goddamn brother gets out of bed
00:27:14
Don't panic because then your blood will fucking pump out faster. Like this ghost, grandma ghost.
00:27:19
Grandma ghost. But it was like a lady. So she didn't know the grandma. Yeah. But I also bet like the mom just needed to feel better about it being just some random old lady.
00:27:28
Yeah, exactly. No stranger ghosts. Just whoever used to, somebody used to live in that basement.
00:27:33
it. She's like, I'm a renter, but I'm going to make you feel better. Send us your ghost stories, your basement stories, your base falling down stairs stories.
00:27:41
You're being a little kid and your brother puts your life in danger because he's lazy
00:27:44
and a teenage boy. Dude, my favorite murder at Gmail. And thank you guys for listening.
00:27:49
Stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie? This has been an Exactly Right production.
00:28:03
Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer is Tessa Hughes. Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.
00:28:09
This episode was mixed by Liana Squalachi. Email your hometowns to MyFavoriteMurder at gmail.com.
00:28:14
Follow the show on Instagram at MyFavoriteMurder. Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:28:21
Or watch us on YouTube, search for My Favorite Murder, and then like and subscribe.
00:28:25
Goodbye. This episode is brought to you in part by Vital Farms. Have you noticed that the egg section at the grocery store has gotten very complicated lately But Vital Farms makes it simple Pasture eggs traceable to the farm Their hens have outdoor access year with fresh air and sunshine and forage on rotated pastures with local grasses
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