00:00:00
This is exactly right. Isn't some far off concept? It's already here. Next starts now.
00:00:33
Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. When a charming neurosurgeon rode into Frontier Town
00:00:39
selling a persona of confidence and care, patients trusted him. He wore cowboy boots in the operating room
00:00:45
and became sought after by patients. He promised to heal them. Instead, he left a trail of broken bodies.
00:00:51
This is a story of greed, betrayal, and a fight for justice. Listen to Dr. Death the Cowboy wherever you get your podcasts
00:00:58
or binge the entire series right now only with Audible. Goodbye. Where does summer take you?
00:01:05
Maybe it's a coastal road trip or a quiet morning with the windows wide open. Summer smells like bright citrus, warm sand,
00:01:11
and endless possibilities. With Pura's smart diffusers and the new summer collection,
00:01:15
you can restore your sense of place and bring those unforgettable moments right into your living room.
00:01:20
Find your summer escape today. Visit Pura.com to learn more. Goodbye. Pandora jewelry brings the sparkle to summer now with even better prices.
00:01:30
Shop now for up to 50% off select jewelry featuring personalized pieces to must have summer favorites.
00:01:35
Timeless jewelry made to move with you through every moment. Shop in store or online now through July 5th.
00:01:41
Terms and conditions apply. See Pandora.net for more details. Goodbye. Goodbye. Hello and welcome to My Favorite Murder, the minisode, where we read you your stories.
00:02:08
Would you like to go first? Sure. This one's, I'm not going to tell you what it's called.
00:02:13
Okay. Hi, Karen and Georgia. I wrote this in 2018, worth another shot. Hey. Years ago, I lived in a beautiful apartment in Chicago.
00:02:22
A sweet old lady named Loretta owned the building and her hoarding son lived in a unit.
00:02:29
The guy was a miserable, scary old fuck who would randomly just scream out loud in his apartment a lot.
00:02:35
I like to hang out with my friends in the communal yard and he would always come out and yell at us to be quiet.
00:02:40
So I thought that maybe if I befriended him, we would be able to party in peace.
00:02:44
And it seemed to work. Remember when you were young and just trying to get partying done?
00:02:49
Hopeful and all those things. Yeah. Whenever we were outside and he noticed, I would invite him to hang out and it felt as though he enjoyed himself.
00:02:56
He would bring his beer and just sort of sit there, sometimes for hours. Even my mom met him.
00:03:02
He stopped shiting and I swear he appreciated the company. At one point, I went to his apartment to use the bathroom.
00:03:08
Why didn't I just go upstairs and use mine? Stupid, stupid 23-year-old. And you could barely move because of all his crap.
00:03:15
There was black mold everywhere and the bathroom was what nightmares were made of, like train spotting.
00:03:21
Oh, no. That thing of like, I got to use a bathroom. You can use mine. Okay. Like you're just 23.
00:03:28
Right. You're just trying to do the easiest thing to get back outside to have some more fun.
00:03:32
And be like friendly and nice. Also, I think the hoarders, I think it was like the TV show is that made a lot of people first understood what that was.
00:03:41
Yeah. So it'd be like that wouldn't be a possibility in your mind if you'd never seen that before.
00:03:45
Right. I ended up moving out and I hadn't thought about them in years until a friend sent me an article of a murder suicide.
00:03:52
That terrible man stabbed his 84 year old mother, my old landlord, to death in that terrifying apartment.
00:03:59
And he had a five hour standoff with police until he shot and killed himself. I knew he was a creepy asshole, but it never occurred to me that he could be capable of killing at all, especially his mom, in such a horrific way.
00:04:11
R.I.P. Loretta. So stay sexy and don't invite murderers to drink beer with you in your backyard.
00:04:17
Love y'all. Janavi. I mean, I think there's so many signs of mental health issues and untreated
00:04:24
mental health issues there where just like, yeah, you're doing your best to try to make someone
00:04:29
like in your mind happy or something when actually what they need is serious medication
00:04:35
and they need professionals to be talking to them and looking at them. Totally. And then also like
00:04:40
when we're that young, we're just so naive as to like what people are capable of.
00:04:44
Right. How do we solve it? We just do things our way without thinking about other people's state of mind reality.
00:04:50
Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, here's a little upturn. Great. It just starts with, I'm terrible at thinking up witty openers. So let's just get straight into it.
00:05:00
In a not so recent mini-sode, it took me a while to get around to writing this. You asked for third man syndrome stories or similar.
00:05:08
and while I'm not 100% sure this totally fits the criteria, this is a story of my own weird
00:05:13
psychic I heard a voice moment. When I was 13, I woke up in the middle of the night in my bed
00:05:19
and there was a storm raging outside. Let me preface this by saying that this is the same
00:05:23
bedroom I'd slept in since I was six years old. So I'd experienced many a stormy night with wild
00:05:29
rain and wind and normally I'd fall straight back to sleep, no worries, but not this night.
00:05:34
As I was drowsily listening to the weather outside, I had a sudden thought pop into my brain, clear and loud as anything, saying, the tree is about to fall on your bedroom.
00:05:44
I didn't even hesitate. I was up and out of my bed in seconds, making for the door.
00:05:48
And the moment after I taken two steps away the huge tree that had been outside my bedroom for years and years came crashing down smashing the window and puncturing through the wall to land glass spraying everywhere right atop the bed I had just vacated Holy shit
00:06:05
To this day, I have no idea how I knew that tree was about to fall. There was absolutely nothing different whatsoever about that night compared to any other stormy night.
00:06:14
Was I, for one brief moment, psychic? Or was it a ghostly intervention from a loved one?
00:06:20
Whatever it was, I'm just glad it spared me the damage of having a big old tree and a bunch of glass fall on top of me.
00:06:27
I wanted to thank you both for providing me with so many years of entertainment and keeping me company through the ups and downs of life.
00:06:33
I'm a day one listener back when I was in my mid-20s, depressed, incredibly lost, broke and in the throes of pretty heavy reliance on alcohol.
00:06:41
Now I'm in my 30s. I just bought my first house. My God. In this day and age, it's a miracle.
00:06:48
Incredible work. I'm three years sober. My debut novel, a crime fiction, because of course it is,
00:06:55
came out last year. And my second novel just came out two weeks ago. I couldn't have done it without
00:07:01
giving up alcohol. Much love to you both, Shaden. P.S. If you're curious, the first novel is,
00:07:07
you're like, I want to know, plug your book. You got to plug your book. The first novel is called
00:07:12
Down the Rabbit Hole by Shaden Berry. And the second is at Cafe 64. But I think it's only
00:07:18
available here in Australia. Oh man, I'm ordering them. Shaden, what a huge accomplishment.
00:07:23
That's enormous. And also you lived through that tree thing. That too. I forgot about that part. Wow.
00:07:29
Right? What a one-two punch of success. Seriously. Amazing. That's such a cool, cool letter.
00:07:35
So good. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer, Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent.
00:07:43
The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14. Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't make sense, rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust.
00:07:54
Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation, and Hyundai doesn't either. Hyundai has always moved the future within reach.
00:08:00
Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle. Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra-fast charging capability.
00:08:07
And Hyundai continues doing it every day. From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game, the future isn't some far-off concept.
00:08:15
It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye.
00:08:21
This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. It's 2026, and if you have an alternative career like food photography or professional mixtape making or witchcraft, you're going to need an online presence.
00:08:32
Whatever your thing is, Squarespace helps you build a website that's as unique as you are.
00:08:36
Squarespace provides you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place.
00:08:41
From consultations to events and experiences, you can showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business.
00:08:49
Get paid on time with professional invoices and online payments. Plus, streamline your workflow with built-in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools.
00:08:57
With Squarespace's collection of cutting-edge design tools, anyone can build a beautiful professional online presence that perfectly fits their brand or business.
00:09:04
Head to squarespace.com slash murder for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code murder to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
00:09:12
Goodbye. Summer clothes should feel easy and still look polished. Low maintenance, high reward.
00:09:19
That's how we live our lives. For summer clothes you will actually wear, there's Quince.
00:09:23
Quince has beautiful everyday pieces like 100% European linen pants, dresses, and toffs with styles starting at $32.
00:09:30
Their denim is soft and easy to wear, and their organic cotton sweaters are perfect for layering on cool summer nights.
00:09:36
Everything at Quince is priced 50% to 80% less than similar brands because they work directly with ethical factories.
00:09:41
So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. And it's not just clothing. Quince has become a destination for elevated essentials across the home, kitchen, bedding, and beyond,
00:09:51
making it easy to bring a more premium feel into everyday life. I am a fan of Quince.
00:09:55
Yeah, Karen's wardrobe is Quince-centric. I'm a lazy basics person. And the things that I get from them, I always go, oh, yeah, now I'm wearing these.
00:10:04
They work. They're cute. They're stylish. And they're classy. Yeah. Like, it doesn't look lazy.
00:10:10
It looks classy. And it's so affordable. Yeah. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com slash MFM for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.
00:10:19
Now available in Canada, too. That's quince.com slash MFM for free shipping and 365 day returns.
00:10:26
quince.com slash mfm goodbye i'm not gonna tell you the name of this one okay okay hello mfm team
00:10:36
day one listener first time writer i've been waiting for an opportunity to write in and when
00:10:40
i heard you ask for people hiding in ceiling stories i knew it was my time to shine i know
00:10:45
people i did okay i mean sure to set the scene i was 20 years old and had come home from college
00:10:51
for thanksgiving as a tradition i met up with all my old high school friends at a local bar
00:10:56
where the only form of ID required was the ability to verbally confirm that you were 21.
00:11:02
Wow. Flash forward to a few hours and many drinks later when my old high school boyfriend caused a scene
00:11:07
that did not involve me that led to the police being called. The bar was packed, which made it nearly impossible for us to scatter.
00:11:14
They're underage. Several of us were rounded up and I immediately started planning my escape.
00:11:18
I asked the officers if I could use the bathroom real quick. Drunk and me knew this was my only chance and I wasn't going to waste it.
00:11:24
I went to the women's room but saw no window or other way out. Then I went to the men's room and as fate would have it, there was a hole in the ceiling.
00:11:33
This sounds like Karen back in the day, possibly. Listen, you got to do something.
00:11:37
You look for your escape hatches. Right. Push it till the very limit. That's right.
00:11:41
I promptly scaled the bathroom sink and crawled up into the drop ceiling. Drunk, but she was drunk, by the way.
00:11:47
Yeah. I probably should have stayed where I was, but I figured that the cops would come looking for me.
00:11:51
I knew my only option was to continue crawling through the ceiling until I found some sort of exterior vent that I could kick out and escape through the parking lot She just running diehard in her mind Seriously This is what I have to do This is going to go great That is not how things went down
00:12:06
I actually made it an impressive distance through the ceiling, held up mostly by wires before I had a small misstep and my foot came through one of the flimsy panels.
00:12:15
Unfortunately for me, this was directly over where the police were standing in the bar.
00:12:19
Damn. They immediately shone their flashlights through the hole. She's drunk. I want to remind everyone.
00:12:25
Like, that's my favorite part. It gets all musty and hot. Right. But she also thinks she's like brilliant and like doing it.
00:12:32
And kind of has a little electric. Yeah. Like, my friends are gonna be so impressed.
00:12:36
And then this one is like, ma'am, can you get down from there? And then you're like, is it bleeding?
00:12:41
It feels like it's bleeding. They shine their flashlight to the hole and order me out of the ceiling.
00:12:46
I asked how. And they said, back the way you came. So I had to crawl the 30 or so feet back through the ceiling.
00:12:52
Ugh, so dirty. to the bathroom where I exited and was promptly arrested, along with about 25 other underage
00:12:58
people in the bar. She should have got doubly arrested for being so stupid. Or she should have been freed for being so genius.
00:13:05
True. Fortunately, I was able to pay a fine for the underage drinking and was in charge
00:13:09
with destruction of property. This story has become lore in my hometown, and I've had a few
00:13:13
of my former teachers come up to tell me that they heard it through the grapevine
00:13:17
and asked me if it really happened. Yes, yes. Yes. This was almost 20 years ago. And I am happy to say I haven't found myself in the back of a cop car since.
00:13:28
Stay sexy and don't deploy a Mission Impossible escape plan when you're three sheets to the wind. Kate.
00:13:34
Kate, also you're underage. So this is just you beginning your partying career. Right.
00:13:38
This is an incredible start. It's so brave. So brave. Just go for it. Just do it.
00:13:45
Just why not? If you have a chance, take it. It might not work out the way you think it would.
00:13:49
Right, but you will have a story. You will. And even if it hurts, and even if you get arrested, what are we saying?
00:13:56
Oh, this is good. Don't listen to our advice. Yeah, don't listen to anything except for this next email.
00:14:01
And I'm not going to read you the subject line. In all caps, it starts, it's my time to shine!
00:14:08
With a bunch of I's and E's. Greetings and salutations. Growing up on a small hobby farm in southeastern Wisconsin, just north of Milwaukee, had its advantages.
00:14:17
One of them being that as a child, we would have an annual pig roast on our farm and invite family, friends, and our one neighbor.
00:14:24
Yes, the one neighbor whose property butted up to our field. This neighbor also happened to be our fifth grade teacher, a very kind older man who never married and took care of his father who lived in a house next to his and shared a driveway with one of our field access roads.
00:14:39
He would walk to our home through the field to come to the annual pig roast, often bringing his father as well.
00:14:46
One year, he brought another gentleman about his age with him. He was clad in aviator sunglasses, a scruffy beard, a Packers baseball cap, and a deep gravelly voice.
00:14:55
He simply said his brother was in town, and they thought they would come over to enjoy some beers,
00:15:00
a freshly slaughtered and roasted pig, and good company. I know it's so... The vegans are...
00:15:05
It's rough. Yeah. Roasted, like in the ground pig roastings were a thing that I saw a lot as a child.
00:15:10
You did? That's like a thing on a farm, kind of? It's like a thing and it's like a reason to have a barbecue, but it's different.
00:15:16
Okay. Never. In the suburbs, we don't usually dig a hole in the astroturf. Well, I'm sorry about that.
00:15:23
I'm not. Not to the pigs. No, it's really rough. And pigs are so like us. I know.
00:15:28
They're so cute. It's very sad. Okay. He simply stated that this was his old college roommate from Ripon College, R-I-P-O-N, assuming.
00:15:36
They roomed together freshman year and stayed in touch ever since. He happened to be in town for the EAA in Oshkosh, one of the world's largest gatherings of airplane enthusiasts, featuring vintage World War I and II airplanes, the Blue Angels, and other flying exhibitions.
00:15:51
A few days later, our neighbor walked back through the field and was chatting with my dad in the front yard.
00:15:56
We thought nothing of it since he was a teacher and had summers off. We thought maybe he needed some construction work done at his house since my dad often did little side jobs for people.
00:16:05
Me and my brother scurried over to say hello as visitors in the summer were few and far between.
00:16:10
We came by just in time to listen to our teacher tell my dad that the man he brought to our pig roast was none other than Harrison Ford.
00:16:22
That's I was like, oh, it's it's his lover, whoever this is. Right. It's some sort. Finally, he gets to be himself or something.
00:16:29
His boyfriend. He's like, oh, my friend, my college friend. It's Harrison Ford. It's Harrison Ford.
00:16:34
And it's basically like, I'm a normal experience Sherpa for my old friend Harrison, who now lives in the weirdest world of all time.
00:16:41
And all he wants to do, stand in a backyard and drink a beer with normal people.
00:16:45
And not get recognized. And they did it. Oh, my God. Okay. Because Harrison Ford was a construction worker, too.
00:16:52
Yes. That whole thing of him getting fucking discovered by being the hottest fucking construction worker that's ever lived.
00:16:58
I mean. Okay, wild. Okay, wait. Our teacher wanted to thank my dad and our family for allowing him to just be a guy and hang out without prying and making a big deal about him being there.
00:17:08
Since this teacher had had me and my brothers in class in the 90s, he knew we were all big fans of Star Wars and Indiana Jones and was proud of us for not making it a big deal.
00:17:18
In reality, we had no clue the man was... Yeah, when you're a kid, you don't pay attention to adults.
00:17:24
Like, that's the most boring thing in the world. But it sounds like they were graduates from high school.
00:17:29
Yeah, it does sound like they're older. But they're just kind of like, oh, it's just a guy and that's fine.
00:17:33
And it literally is Harrison Ford. Oh, my God. Standing around the pig. They're like, we would have bothered him.
00:17:38
Are you fucking kidding me? You get to bother Harrison. Sorry, you're Han Solo. Dude, you're Han Solo.
00:17:44
You're fucking Indiana Jones. You're Indiana Jones. Like, come on. Okay. Tell me more.
00:17:48
I want to know everything. I just started thinking about watching Raiders of the Lost Ark for the first time in the Plaza Theater downtown Petaluma And how I was like this is it It the best It the best He amazing Our dumb little kid brains could have cared less who our neighbor brought to the party
00:18:05
since we were all jacked up on soda ice cream and playing with friends and cousins.
00:18:09
Well, that's the story. Harrison Ford came to my house. Stay sexy and may the force be with you, Natalie.
00:18:15
Oh my God, Natalie. It's so good, Natalie. That's so good. Oh, shit. That's one of the big ones.
00:18:23
And they didn't know. I wonder if the parents knew. I know. They must have. Or maybe the parents were just old enough to kind of not be that familiar with it.
00:18:33
Right. They were like kind of hippies that were like. Here's this guy. Yeah. Fucking amazing.
00:18:39
They were anti-pop culture. What would you say if Harrison Ford was a drop by at a party that you had or a side guest?
00:18:47
Okay. Introduce yourself as Harrison Ford. Hello. I'm Harrison Ford. Oh, hey. Wow.
00:18:51
Nice to meet you. Big fan. That's it. Perfect. Perfectly done with a little finger to say we're done now.
00:18:58
That's it. That's it. I'm not going to freak out, but like I'm going to acknowledge that I know you're Harrison Ford.
00:19:03
I'm drawing the line that I'm not freaking out right now. Big fan. Well, I'm George Hardstark from My Favorite Marginal.
00:19:08
Oh, wait a second. My daughter told me about that. Okay. This will last. Do you want me to do it?
00:19:16
Okay. What would you do? Hi, I'm here. Hi, I'm Harrison Ford. Stop it. Stop it. It's just screaming right into it.
00:19:23
It's like real cool. I love to scream right into people's faces. Especially famous people.
00:19:26
They love it. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer,
00:19:34
Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent. The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14.
00:19:40
Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't make sense,
00:19:44
rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust. Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation,
00:19:49
and Hyundai doesn't either. Hyundai has always moved the future within reach. Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard
00:19:56
on every vehicle. Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra fast charging capability.
00:20:01
And Hyundai continues doing it every day. From robotics that change how people live
00:20:05
to young athletes changing the game, the future isn't some far off concept. It's already here.
00:20:10
Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. When you're young, you don't really buy furniture.
00:20:17
you either inherit something from your parents or you just drag something in from the street
00:20:22
like you're some kind of hipster raccoon. When you're ready for furniture that you actually like,
00:20:27
check out Article. Article offers the style and durability you want at a price that actually makes sense.
00:20:32
They take great care in curating their collection, focusing on pieces that stand the test of time.
00:20:37
There's no filler. Every item is chosen for craftsmanship, design, and lasting value.
00:20:41
And with Article's 30-day satisfaction guarantee, you can shop with confidence, knowing that if you're not completely in love with your new furniture, you can easily return it.
00:20:49
Plus, Article's customer care team is available seven days a week, offering knowledgeable support and even free interior design services to help you get your home just right.
00:20:58
Yes, please. Don't we all kind of need that? Like the eye of an expert? Yeah. Where should I put this? And also, what should I move here and there?
00:21:05
And what should I even get? But Article has it all, so you can get whatever there.
00:21:08
That's right. You could be like, I have this thing. Should I get this one or that one?
00:21:12
Totally. Am I Scandi or am I mid-century? Help me be boho chic, please. If you're in the market for a beautiful new sofa, dining table, or bed, head over to article.com.
00:21:21
Goodbye. Summer is all about saying yes, going out, and bringing the mess home in your car.
00:21:27
Sand, grass, and melting snacks will inevitably hit your ride. But with WeatherTech, you can live life to the fullest.
00:21:33
WeatherTech floor liners, cargo liner, and seat protectors allow you to keep up with your summer adventures without the worry.
00:21:39
WeatherTech is built for all of those summer things, allowing you the freedom to go all in.
00:21:43
WeatherTech is an American-made premium product built to last and easy to clean.
00:21:48
If you're going all out this summer, you need WeatherTech. Visit WeatherTech.com today.
00:21:53
Goodbye. Okay, this is a follow-up to one of the stories I did recently about the girl who her cat died.
00:22:03
She went out to the, like, wharf to say goodbye with it and ended up throwing it into the fucking water.
00:22:10
and then she saw the Coast Guard come grab her poor cat's body, right? Remember? The cat's name
00:22:16
was Jaffe. Yeah. So this is a response to that. Dear Karen Georgia and MFM crew, including animals,
00:22:24
I speak for all murderinos when I say we love you and everything you do, you are the friends
00:22:27
in our ears throughout every phase of life. I'm feeling a butt coming. Yeah, right. Today,
00:22:33
I was listening to Minisode 463 and the story about Jaffe the cat's botched water burial.
00:22:38
While the story was humorous, I found my heart breaking for her mom, the cat's mom, especially with my own cat purring happily on my lap as I listened.
00:22:47
First, I want to discourage anyone from making the same innocent mistake. For obvious reasons, finding unclaimed animal remains can incite a whole fighting ring and or animal abuse investigation.
00:22:58
Oh, shit. Second, as a veterinarian, I did want to offer Jaffe's mom some solace.
00:23:04
when domestic animals remains are found and unclaimed the police take them to the local
00:23:09
shelter where they are cremated so botched viking attempt aside your baby was still cremated because
00:23:15
remember she was like they threw it onto the fucking yes you know the trash or whatever yeah
00:23:20
no that's great yeah they took care of it i hope jaffy's mom can rest a little easier knowing that
00:23:25
her baby was still cared for in the way she wanted and as a response to karen and george's
00:23:30
plug for where have we been stories. Remember like, where do you listen to us? You have been
00:23:35
in my ears as I traveled for work all over the world with the coolest place being fieldwork in
00:23:40
South Africa as myself and my collaborators work to investigate the impacts of infectious diseases
00:23:46
on African lion populations. So yes, by extension, you have worked with a few hundred lions.
00:23:52
She's a veterinarian. That's incredible. Anyway, thanks for all that you do. Love and hug to the MFM crew and especially to Jaffe's mom,
00:23:59
Heather. Heather, that was really nice to support in that moment as a professional to step forward and say, quiet down, everybody.
00:24:07
Two things. Don't ever do that again. Yes, it was absolutely a mistake. And here's why.
00:24:11
And don't worry about it. But also, you're forgiven and it's okay. And you kind of got what you wanted ultimately.
00:24:17
Yes. Okay, here's my last one. This is a trash parent story to beat all trash parent stories.
00:24:23
Oh, God. Okay. Hello, ladies. I love the pod. I've been listening since 2018 when my high school ceramics teacher recommended your podcast.
00:24:31
Thank you, Ms. Warner. My sister and I were the type of children that my mom had to ask not to talk about dead things before her friends came over.
00:24:38
We still did and still do. I love this community. Anyway, the story I have for you isn't morbid, but a trash mom story.
00:24:46
I don't think my mom was a trash parent, but my sister and I were the youngest after five older siblings.
00:24:51
Oh, wow. Yeah. She was done at number three. Seven. She went to seven. Dang. So our complaints were not exactly taken seriously. Like the second time
00:25:03
I broke my leg on our trampoline. Oh my God. My mom didn't believe me. My mom didn't believe me and made me get off the trampoline by myself and walk it off.
00:25:13
Walk off your broken leg. After taking one step and immediately collapsing, I was taken to the hospital and then forbidden from ever touching the trampoline again.
00:25:21
Oh my God. How many broken bones does seven children bring you? Like every week, every week someone's breaking a fucking bone.
00:25:29
Oh, you're constantly in the ER. Yeah. And you're not scared anymore. It's like you've become like an ER nurse yourself.
00:25:35
Yeah. That rule, of course, did not apply to my siblings. So it's like victim blaming.
00:25:41
So every summer for the rest of my childhood, I got to sit on the grass and watch them jump around happily without me.
00:25:47
No Punished But this story isn about me Another accident happened on the same backyard trampoline Those are so fucking dangerous They really are I mean but they also so fun
00:25:58
Yeah, but yes. Well, but. Okay. My older brother was jumping while holding my sister and accidentally,
00:26:05
in an parenthesis that says probably intentionally, dropped her on her back. She burst into tears and wouldn't move.
00:26:12
My parents carried her to the couch and told her to rest, even though she insisted something was wrong.
00:26:16
They didn't believe her and life went on, even as she complained for years about back pain and limited mobility.
00:26:23
What? Flash forward to when she was 16. She got into a sledding accident where she flew off a jump and crashed hard.
00:26:29
After a couple hours of labored breathing, my mom finally called my paramedic dad.
00:26:34
Wait. Okay. Maybe he became one after all of those hospitalizations. Okay. My mom called my paramedic dad who told her to take my sister to the hospital immediately.
00:26:44
Finally. There they took scans and discovered she had broken her sternum in the crash.
00:26:49
Sternum. Okay, in the crash she broke her sternum. Yes. Okay, ow. That hurts so bad.
00:26:54
Yeah, you can't breathe. You can't take a breath probably. Her knee hit her chest and cracked it.
00:26:58
That's intense. Oh my God. But when the doctor delivered the news, he added, I thought you said your daughter had never broken a bone before.
00:27:05
My mom replied, she hasn't. Well, the doctor said, in the x-rays we took, we found old fractures in her back.
00:27:12
That's right. My sister broke her back at 10 years old and wasn't treated until she was 16.
00:27:17
Oh, my God. My parents are divorced and my dad loves to bring up all the injuries that happened on her watch.
00:27:23
But my sister complained to him, too. And he also brushed her off. And he was a fucking paramedic.
00:27:28
So he should have known better. And he was a paramedic. And he still let them have a trampoline?
00:27:32
You don't go over and at least do one of those, like, how does this feel? One, two, one, two.
00:27:36
You're fine. Yeah. Can you see this finger? Yeah. No my back is broken Can you see this finger Can you fucking blame me off the fucking trampoline Cheers to my strong ass sister whose side note walked up that snowy hill by herself after she broke her sternum
00:27:50
So my mom would stop freaking out. No tears. Oh, my God. And then it just says, anyway, be aware of trampolines.
00:27:58
SSDGM, AJ. AJ, great. You know, everyone send us you and your siblings injuries, like your childhood fucked up injuries that like nobody paid attention to.
00:28:09
Yes. I want those so bad. My sister fully broke her wrist. And my mom was like, when she wouldn't stop crying, my mom goes, fine, put a cold compress on it.
00:28:18
She was a nurse. Yes. Vince absolutely was chased through the sliding glass door by his brother.
00:28:25
His brother was chasing him with a knife or something, of course, and broke his arm. And
00:28:30
it was like, get over it. That happened to my friend Christine, got chased through the sliding glass door. And it's that thing where everybody
00:28:39
But he's fighting and you think this one thing has happened and suddenly it's like, holy shit.
00:28:43
Everyone stops to be like, where's the blood coming from? Yes. Oh, my God. The kids have to like, how do we make it so mom doesn't find out we just broke the exciting glass door?
00:28:51
So hilarious childhood injuries. Right. Is what we want. We need the people who they happen to to be okay today.
00:28:58
Yes. Yes. That's for us. Yes. Thanks, guys. Amazing batch. Great job, everyone. Thank you so much for sending those in.
00:29:05
If you have stories, please send them to myfavoritemurder at gmail.com. That's right.
00:29:09
and stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Oh, I never say that part. That's why. Oh, yeah, I know.
00:29:14
Yes, she's so right. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie? This has been an Exactly Right production.
00:29:29
Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer is Tessa Hughes. Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo This episode was mixed by Liana Squalachi Email your hometowns to MyFavoriteMurder at gmail Follow the show on Instagram at MyFavoriteMurder Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app
00:29:44
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Or watch us on YouTube, search for My Favorite Murder,
00:29:49
and then like and subscribe. Goodbye. This episode is brought to you in part by Vital Farms.
00:30:00
Have you noticed that the egg section at the grocery store has gotten very complicated lately.
00:30:04
But Vital Farms makes it simple. Pasture-raised eggs, traceable to the farm. Their hens have outdoor access year-round
00:30:10
with fresh air and sunshine and forage on rotated pastures with local grasses. Every carton can be traced back to the farm it came from
00:30:17
so you can see the pasture where the hens live by visiting vitalfarms.com slash farm.
00:30:22
Look for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit vitalfarms.com to learn more.
00:30:26
Vital Farms, good eggs, no shortcuts. Goodbye. Bye. Hey everyone, it's Cal Penn.
00:30:33
I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast,
00:30:37
Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Every episode, I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available
00:30:46
on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you
00:30:56
get your podcasts. Paramount Plus is now the home of all your BET favorites. What?
00:31:04
Yes! With all new episodes of Tyler Perry's Divorce Sisters. You've always liked a little drama.
00:31:09
Plus a whole new world of movies like Gladiator 2. Now I control an empire. Original series like The Chi.
00:31:16
Just make sure we protect each other. And live sports like UFC. Welcome to the history books!
00:31:23
New home, same family. Your BET favorites are now on Paramount Plus. Subscribe now.
00:31:29
you