00:00:00
This is exactly right. Isn't some far off concept? It's already here. Next starts now.
00:00:33
Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. When a charming neurosurgeon rode into Frontier Town
00:00:39
selling a persona of confidence and care, patients trusted him. He wore cowboy boots in the operating room
00:00:45
and became sought after by patients. He promised to heal them. Instead, he left a trail of broken bodies.
00:00:51
This is a story of greed, betrayal, and a fight for justice. Listen to Dr. Death the Cowboy wherever you get your podcasts
00:00:58
or binge the entire series right now only with Audible. Goodbye. Where does summer take you?
00:01:05
Maybe it's a coastal road trip or a quiet morning with the windows wide open. Summer smells like bright citrus, warm sand,
00:01:11
and endless possibilities. With Pura's smart diffusers and the new summer collection,
00:01:15
you can restore your sense of place and bring those unforgettable moments right into your living room.
00:01:20
Find your summer escape today. Visit Pura.com to learn more. Goodbye. My favorite murder
00:01:35
Hello and welcome to My Favorite Murder, the minisode. Here we go. It's going to be so fun.
00:01:48
So fun. The first one of 2026. My God, this is going to set the precedent for all minisodes to come.
00:01:55
Oh, shit. Get ready. I don't remember what stories I picked. Okay. We'll kick off big and strong.
00:02:01
The subject line of this email is babysitting in a tornado. Hi, ladies. You asked for babysitting stories, so I'm here to deliver.
00:02:09
In 2009, I was 10 years old, and for some reason, the adults in my life decided I was
00:02:13
mature enough to babysit a two-month-old infant and a three-year-old. How old was she?
00:02:18
She was 10. 10? No. No, no, no, no, no. 10. Okay. On this particular day, I was extra pumped because my neighbor said she'd pay me $5 an hour after school.
00:02:29
And by neighbor, I mean she lived five miles down a rural road. That's how neighbors work out in the country.
00:02:36
I got dropped off by the school bus and the mom basically sprinted out the door.
00:02:40
She told me to call if I needed anything, then offered zero instructions on caring for an infant.
00:02:45
An infant. Like, they're very droppable, especially by 10-year-olds. who are basically in third or fourth grade, I think.
00:02:53
Right. Yeah, my nephew Joe is 10. I would not let him hold a baby. Right? Bye. We'll see you in three hours.
00:03:01
Don't fucking kill the baby. Do you bet. The fuck? Okay. In parentheses, it says,
00:03:06
I did not know how to put on a diaper. Who approved this plan? Seriously. About an hour in,
00:03:11
I noticed the sky starting to turn green. Oh, my God. Anyone from tornado country knows
00:03:16
that shade of green means bad news. Shit. Then I realized the house didn't have a basement.
00:03:21
Double shit. My 10-year-old brain short-circuited. I put both kids in the bathtub.
00:03:27
Laid the fucking infant down in the bathtub. I know that's what you're supposed to do, but just like shoving kids in the bathtub.
00:03:32
Just the hardest area you can put them in. I put both kids in the bathtub, covered them in cushions, and panic called their mom from the landline.
00:03:40
No answer, of course. Why would she answer when she had just entrusted her tiny children to a 10-year-old in the middle of tornado weather?
00:03:46
Jesus. I picked up the phone to call my own mom and boom, the electricity cut out.
00:03:51
The landline was dead. At that moment, I looked out the window and saw the tornado touching down in the distance.
00:03:59
Saw it. Have you ever seen? I would. That would be so incredible. I made my sister and Adrian and my cousin Stevie and Kim were down visiting and I made everybody
00:04:09
watch one of those like we have the video of the moment this crazy thing happened.
00:04:15
an episode of that, which is, I wish I could remember the title, absolutely no idea. But
00:04:20
one episode was dedicated to tornado stories and those kinds of things where it's like
00:04:24
people yelling at each other to get inside or get downstairs while it hits. It's not even like, yeah, it doesn't even, like, I can't even picture that. That's why
00:04:32
I'm like, this is like the first time I thought, oh, that must be really fucking scary because
00:04:36
it doesn't even cross my mind. And the distance is like, it's moving at like, what, 50 miles an hour, 20 miles an hour?
00:04:42
And who knows which way it's going. It's like it follows a thing. I think about earthquakes. I love watching tsunami flooding videos, but a fucking tornado?
00:04:52
They're so big. It's so far away from my mind. Okay, go. They're so big. They're so big.
00:04:56
Okay. Saw the tornado touching down in the distance. Absolutely not. I refused to go out in a
00:05:02
basementless house with two random children. Here's the thing. I knew the nearest neighbors
00:05:08
half a mile away and they had a basement. My mom was friends with them. I'd been to their house.
00:05:13
So my 10-year-old logic decided the safest course of action was to, all caps, run through a soybean field with two children during a tornado.
00:05:23
As a 10-year-old. They had to make a call. I scribbled a note for the mom, stuck it on the door, grabbed the infant, took the toddler's hand, and started running.
00:05:33
The wind was so strong, I genuinely thought we'd blow away. I could see the funnel cloud getting narrower in the distance, and I was positive we were all about to get sucked into the sky like Wizard of Oz extras.
00:05:44
After what felt like an eternity, we made it. I knocked on the door, and the poor woman opened it to find me crying, the baby crying, and the toddler crying.
00:05:53
Oh, yeah. Everyone fucking crying Oh my God I asked if we could use the basement Hi can we use the basement She let us in wrapped us in blankets and I curled up with the kids on the floor of their basement fully believing I just saved all of our lives
00:06:10
The power came back. She called the kid's mom and told her to get home. Once the storm passed, we walked back across the field, and I realized the tornado had actually touched down a couple miles away, not even close to the house.
00:06:23
We don't care. It doesn't matter where it touched down. Visible. Yes. Is close. Wind.
00:06:29
These Midwesterners, they are made of different material. All that dramatic sprinting for nothing.
00:06:36
No, it wasn't. No, because you, because, anyway, the mom came home, handed me $15 and asked if I could babysit again next week.
00:06:44
I immediately said yes. I'm now a career nanny and can confidently change a diaper.
00:06:49
So I guess this experience didn't traumatize me that much. I guess. Stay sexy and answer your phone.
00:06:55
S. Holy shit. I think my mom would have been like, that's not happening. Like she would have come in
00:07:00
and been like, you can't babysit a fucking infant. Yes. Like maybe a three-year-old because that's
00:07:05
what it was like back then in the eighties, but like not an infant, not an infant. They're so
00:07:09
new. They're so brand new and their head's so soft and squishy. Like they do stuff and then you don't
00:07:15
know what to do and then you try doing things and like, and they shit their pants and then you're
00:07:19
like, I don't know how to change your pants. Diapers, whatever. Okay. You're slacked.
00:07:26
I think S made the perfect decision. Yeah, I agree. You were right. Okay. Hi, gals. Thought
00:07:32
you would enjoy this story from 1979. I wanted to share an event that happened on New Year's Eve,
00:07:37
1979. My older sister, Mary Beth, and I were both in college at the University of Arkansas at the
00:07:42
time. The Arkansas football team was in the Sugar Bowl on New Year's Day, 1980 against Alabama,
00:07:48
and as outgoing, partying, fun-loving people do, Mary Beth and her roommate Jane
00:07:53
went out to Bourbon Street to ring in the new year. The night was going well. Thousands of college kids were wall-to-wall,
00:07:59
shoulder-to-shoulder on Bourbon Street, partying with the usual revelry until around midnight
00:08:04
when Mary Beth was knocked to the ground. Sounds like a fucking nightmare. Yeah.
00:08:09
Mary Beth was a little stunned from suddenly finding herself on her behind, but started to laugh it off.
00:08:14
People filled the balcony surrounding Bourbon Street, drinking and throwing things,
00:08:17
enjoying the brand new year. Mary Beth assumed she'd been hit by a bottle, giving her a nasty cut on her head.
00:08:23
She tried to shrug it off and keep the night going. However, a persistent headache and learning that her head was indeed bleeding soon ended Mary Beth's night as she and Jane turned to a local police officer for assistance.
00:08:36
The officer drove the women to Charity Hospital, which was typically busy given the festivities and influx of tourists in town for the football game set to start in a few hours.
00:08:46
Back home in Arkansas around 2 a.m. as my brother and I were getting home from our own night of activities, the phone rings.
00:08:53
The old landline. My mother got a call from Jane to get Mary Beth's health insurance information for the hospital since she was being admitted for the night.
00:09:02
I cannot imagine my mother's sheer terror. Hearing about Mary Beth's injury, my mother packed us up and started the drive down to New Orleans to make sure that Mary Beth was really all right.
00:09:11
This was before cell phones, so staying in contact was much more difficult. The rest of the early morning was a whirlwind as my mother gathered my brother and myself up
00:09:19
and drove us seven hours straight to New Orleans. Wow. When we finally arrived at the hospital, we found Mary Beth sitting up in the hospital bed
00:09:27
with her head all wrapped up from surgery, happy to be alive, but fuming. The bottle that had struck Mary Beth was actually a .45 caliber bullet,
00:09:37
apparently fired into the air during the celebrations of the new decade. So it goes up and comes down into her head.
00:09:44
You can't shoot guns in the air. You can't. Not over a crowd of people. I mean, not at all.
00:09:49
That happens like every year, I feel like. Yeah, it does. The bullet had caused a three-inch diameter fragmentation in Mary Beth's skull, but miraculously had not penetrated her brain.
00:09:59
That's a huge hole. But how did it not penetrate her brain with the size of that hole?
00:10:04
Maybe it was like, came and did it. Oh, my God. God. According to Jane, after the call around 2 a.m., the doctors had performed an x-ray of Mary Beth's head, revealing the bullets still lodged in her scalp.
00:10:15
Mary Beth had apparently gotten rather upset at the revelation since it now required surgery, quote, ruining her good time.
00:10:22
She thought she was going to get out of there with a bandaid and be like, whoo! Yeah, the bottle hit me, since she was not allowed to attend the game in person as planned.
00:10:29
That night, there were six other gunshot victims brought into the charity hospital's emergency room, and of the seven, only Mary Beth was shot in the head.
00:10:39
And only Mary Beth walked into the ER under her own power. She was discharged after a few days of observation.
00:10:48
Mary Beth went on to live another two decades before she passed in 1999 at age 40 from something unrelated, but she never forgot the time she survived being shot in the head.
00:10:57
stay sexy and don't let a little old bullet ruin your new year's eve celebration
00:11:01
a beloved fan of you both becky p.s so many more marybethisms to share maybe in the future she was
00:11:08
a unique and awe-inspiring girl that i got to call my big sister i've missed her every day for the
00:11:13
past 25 years but boy was i lucky to have her i'd love a series of marybeth stories let's get more
00:11:20
marybeth stories please just put in the subject line another marybeth story hey it's becky here's
00:11:25
a Mary Beth story. Yeah. Because God, she could hit the fucking head with a bullet. It would change
00:11:30
your life dramatically. Yeah. And your decision making if you're like, I survived basically being
00:11:35
shot in the head. Sure. Yeah. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this
00:11:41
summer, Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent. The future soccer stars who are already
00:11:46
turning heads at age 14. Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't
00:11:51
makes sense rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust Because Next doesn wait for an invitation and Hyundai doesn either Hyundai has always moved the future within reach Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra charging capability
00:12:08
And Hyundai continues doing it every day. From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game,
00:12:14
the future isn't some far-off concept. It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA.
00:12:21
Goodbye. Pandora jewelry brings the sparkle to summer now with even better prices.
00:12:26
Shop now for up to 50% off select jewelry featuring personalized pieces to must have summer favorites.
00:12:32
Timeless jewelry made to move with you through every moment. Shop in store or online now through July 5th.
00:12:38
Terms and conditions apply. See Pandora.net for more details. Goodbye. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace.
00:12:45
It's 2026. And if you have an alternative career like food photography or professional mixtape making or witchcraft, you're going to need an online presence.
00:12:54
Whatever your thing is, Squarespace helps you build a website that's as unique as you are.
00:12:58
Squarespace provides you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place.
00:13:02
From consultations to events and experiences, you can showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business.
00:13:10
Get paid on time with professional invoices and online payments. Plus, streamline your workflow with built-in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools.
00:13:18
With Squarespace's collection of cutting-edge design tools, anyone can build a beautiful, professional online presence that perfectly fits their brand or business.
00:13:25
Head to squarespace.com slash murder for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code MURDER to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
00:13:33
Goodbye. This email, I'm not going to read you the subject line. This email starts, hey aunties in all caps.
00:13:42
And then in parentheses, it says, Karen, is this an acceptable greeting? Yes, it is.
00:13:47
I've written in a few times, but I was recently listening to a minisode where you called for more stories of storming off drunk.
00:13:53
And while this isn't exactly that, I thought it's my time to shine. Back in 2016, I was a 22-year-old fresh out of college and working my first big girl job as a research assistant in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
00:14:05
Think MIT, Harvard, lots of big brain shit. Living in my shitty sublet, away from my hometown and all my friends,
00:14:12
I turned to the apps to chat and find cute boys to buy me a beer. Most nights I would grab a box of wine and swipe till my thumbs hurt.
00:14:19
I would have some interesting conversations and occasionally make tentative date plans
00:14:23
that I would solidify in the morning once I sobered up. Well, this Friday night I was feeling especially bold.
00:14:28
A young suitor invited me to a house party in Dorchester. Dorchester. Dorchester.
00:14:34
Dorchester. another city surrounding Boston and connected to Cambridge via the Red Line subway.
00:14:39
Despite the fact that it was close to midnight, I quickly got dressed and ordered my Uber.
00:14:44
The car picked me up and brought me to my destination, or so I thought. It certainly was Dorchester, a residential area.
00:14:52
Multifamily homes of every color lined the street. The sidewalks were illuminated by copious street lamps, but that was the only light in sight.
00:14:59
It was quiet, dead quiet. No parties, just roommates and families fast asleep, lights off, curtains drawn.
00:15:06
Suddenly, I began to sober up. Either I mistook the address in my drunken state or something much more sinister was afoot.
00:15:14
I pulled my phone out to call back the Uber, but as quickly as it unlocked, it died.
00:15:19
No. I truly had been swiping all night and failed to notice my dwindling battery.
00:15:24
In a panic, I looked around and spotted a sign for the red line. If I could just get back to Cambridge, I'd be able to walk.
00:15:31
But it was too late. The red line had already shut down. Still, I knew I needed to get away.
00:15:35
I began walking until I found an open sign, an Irish pub. My people, I screamed as a one-quarter Irish New Englander.
00:15:47
Surely I was safe now. I stumbled in begging for a charger or help calling a cab, but I was turned away.
00:15:53
To this day, I wish I knew what the bar was because I would like to give them a stern
00:15:57
lecture about not helping a drunk girl wandering around by herself what the fuck yeah that's
00:16:01
bullshit although how drunk was she where did she walk in like that's the point though they kicked
00:16:07
her they kicked someone out who couldn't function they you know what i mean like yeah you kind of
00:16:11
have a like an obligation then to make sure she doesn't just wander away well do you yeah i mean
00:16:17
i mean societally you do one would hope yes but yeah who knows what the rules are yeah okay
00:16:24
Hopeless and ready to turn myself in for stupidity. And then in parentheses, it says, can you actually get arrested for being drunk in public?
00:16:31
Yes. I walked back out into the street. By the grace of God, I do not believe in.
00:16:37
There was one other establishment open, a Chinese food restaurant. I couldn't believe that they were open that late.
00:16:43
But soon I realized that those were not patrons in the window, but the family that owned the place.
00:16:48
And here I was, an obnoxious drunk girl interrupting their family meal. Desperate, I banged on the door anyway.
00:16:55
They let me in, helped me charge my phone, and get a ride home, all while they finished dinner.
00:17:00
That's what you're supposed to do. That is what you're supposed to do. Especially if you're a bar.
00:17:03
Like, you should know that. Yeah. You're right. That family quite literally saved my life, and I always wish I could thank them for it,
00:17:10
but I cannot emphasize enough, I was, all caps, very drunk. Oh, God. I shudder to think what could have happened to me if I had stayed on that street looking for my Tinder dude
00:17:18
or even asked the wrong person for help. Yeah. Nine years later, I can proudly say I'm over one year alcohol-free, thanks in no small part to my sweet baby, Angle husband.
00:17:29
Where did I meet such an amazing man, you ask? Bumble, of course. Thank you for the pod.
00:17:34
I've been listening since day five-ish. Wow. Wow. I promise the advice about not wandering off drunk and the dangers of alcohol abuse finally sunk in.
00:17:43
Stay sexy and just stay home, especially when you're inebriated. Callie. P.S. If this gets read on the podcast, I'd like to say fuck Trump, fuck ICE. Immigrants
00:17:53
make America great Hell yeah Good girl Callie That right That just the thing about like we just did another story about a girl who did the exact same thing and got murdered
00:18:07
Like, that's what, like, true crime feels, like, so fascinating to, like, think women, especially, because that's what we do and that's what happens.
00:18:17
Like, those are the consequences of what happens to us sometimes. And it just fucking sucks and it's not fair and it's so random and, like.
00:18:23
And you're right. grace of fucking god it didn't happen to us right exactly and also you're so right it's like there
00:18:28
is a social contract to look out for each other that somewhere along the line we got started to
00:18:34
get told well you made that decision so it's your fault because you're drunk and that's like
00:18:39
me carrying on that idea where it's like no no no it doesn't matter how the person got there
00:18:43
charge their phone help them get home be a part of it because that's how people get
00:18:49
roofied at these fucking bars and wander off and no one sees them again. Exactly.
00:18:54
That kind of thing where it's, yeah, people just being like, oh, well, I guess you're morally bad if you drank alcohol.
00:19:00
Right. Because we've all been there and we're just fucking lucky. Yeah. Okay. This one doesn't have a subject.
00:19:08
Dear Karen in Georgia, long-time listener, first time writing in, let's get started.
00:19:13
Not too long ago, you requested stories of crazy coincidences, and I have one for you.
00:19:17
When I was four years old, I started preschool and instantly became best friends with a little girl named Angelina.
00:19:22
We ended up going to the same elementary school and continued to be best friends for years, doing all the normal BFF activities, sleepovers, riding around the neighborhood, watching movies that were too mature for us, etc.
00:19:34
When we were maybe around 10 years old, her big sister, who was a freshman in college, developed leukemia.
00:19:39
It was devastating. She was a smart and accomplished young woman with so much life ahead of her, but the disease progressed rapidly and she passed away not long after her diagnosis.
00:19:48
I remember going to the funeral, my first experience of grief and loss up close.
00:19:53
Did I ever tell you that there was like the boy I had a crush on in fourth grade, died of leukemia in fourth grade, like during the school year?
00:20:00
I always think about that. We had a little girl with cystic fibrosis who died and that she was dying the whole time we were in grammar school.
00:20:07
And then she found it was just the saddest kind of reality. Yeah. Just weeks after this horrific loss, Angelina's family packed up and moved several hours away.
00:20:17
They left quickly and quietly, likely in an effort to remove themselves from some of the grief.
00:20:22
Because of this move, I never saw Angelina again. I think we spoke on the phone a few times, but this was years before social media and cell phones and we completely lost touch.
00:20:30
It left me feeling a little empty for a long time. No closure, no natural end of the friendship.
00:20:36
just one day here and the next day gone. That is until 14 years later when I sit down at my
00:20:42
boyfriend's, now ex-husband, lol, boyfriend's brother's college graduation. I look to the
00:20:48
person sitting on my right and my heart stops. Angelina, I say. We recognized each other instantly
00:20:54
and finally had the chance to hear from each other after more than a decade. We sat there in disbelief
00:21:00
talking about our lives and the beginning of our careers. She was there for her boyfriend's
00:21:04
graduation, somehow we ended up in the same place at the same time, sitting next to each other.
00:21:10
That's wild. Probably not even the same, I don't know if the same state, probably not the same city even.
00:21:15
Yeah. I still can't understand how we ended up next to one another when we could have gone to any of the
00:21:20
hundreds of available seats. I think it was God or the universe or whatever energy you believe
00:21:25
moves through this world to push us towards our fate. Deep down, my inner child needed that
00:21:30
resolution to know where she had been and what had become of her after that tragic loss.
00:21:35
Anyways, this has nothing to do with murder, but it was something I will never forget.
00:21:39
An amazing moment of kismet. I love you guys and all that you do. With love, Emily.
00:21:45
That's crazy. Right next to her, not even like at a party or something. Yeah. Just like, oh, what's your ticket say?
00:21:51
Here's my ticket. Yeah. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer, Hyundai has its eyes
00:21:59
on the next generation of talent. The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14.
00:22:04
Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't make sense,
00:22:08
rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust. Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation
00:22:13
and Hyundai doesn't either. Hyundai has always moved the future within reach. Hyundai did it by making advanced safety
00:22:19
standard on every vehicle. Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra fast charging capability.
00:22:24
And Hyundai continues doing it every day. From robotics that change how people live
00:22:28
to young athletes changing the game, the future isn't some far-off concept. It's already here.
00:22:34
Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. Pandora jewelry brings the sparkle to summer,
00:22:41
now with even better prices. Shop now for up to 50% off select jewelry featuring personalized pieces
00:22:46
to must-have summer favorites. Timeless jewelry made to move with you through every moment.
00:22:51
Shop in-store or online now through July 5th. Terms and conditions apply. See pandora.net for more details.
00:22:57
Goodbye. Summer clothes should feel easy and still look polished. Low maintenance, high reward.
00:23:04
That's how we live our lives. For summer clothes you will actually wear, there's Quince.
00:23:07
Quince has beautiful everyday pieces like 100% European linen pants, dresses, and toffs with styles starting at $32.
00:23:15
Their denim is soft and easy to wear, and their organic cotton sweaters are perfect for layering on cool summer nights.
00:23:20
Everything at Quince is priced 50% to 80% less than similar brands because they work directly with ethical factories.
00:23:26
So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. And it's not just clothing. Quince has become a destination for elevated essentials across the home, kitchen, bedding, and beyond, making it easy to bring a more premium feel into everyday life.
00:23:39
I am a fan of Quince. Yeah, Karen's wardrobe is Quince. I mean, I'm a lazy basics person, and the things that I get from them, I always go, oh yeah, now I'm wearing these.
00:23:49
They work, they're cute, they're stylish. And they're classy. Yeah. Like it doesn't look lazy, it looks classy.
00:23:55
And it's so affordable. Yeah. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com. MFM for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.
00:24:04
Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash MFM for free shipping and 365 day returns.
00:24:11
Quince.com slash MFM. Goodbye. Okay, here's my last one. I'm not going to read you the subter line.
00:24:18
It says, hello, MFM crew. So I didn't start listening from day one, but in 2019, I did start all the way back with episode one.
00:24:26
Not sure what category that puts me in, but I've had the best six years with the U2 in my ears.
00:24:32
I was catching up on mini-sos recently, and I heard you ask for trash kid stories,
00:24:36
and I figured this was the perfect time to tell you about how I grew up to be the exact opposite of a trash kid.
00:24:42
It's a bragging email. I've always had a very black and white sense of right and wrong,
00:24:47
to the point where I once made my college boyfriend sleep in his car in my driveway
00:24:51
while my parents were out of town because I didn't want to get in trouble. Wow. I credit a lot of that extreme honesty to something my parents invented called the lie dot.
00:25:01
According to them, the lie dot was a special mark on your forehead that only grown-ups could see,
00:25:06
and it appeared when you were lying. I have such a vivid memory of sneaking an extra cookie,
00:25:11
my parents asking to check my forehead, and me immediately bursting into tears and confessing everything.
00:25:17
From that day on, I was honest to the core, basically the dictionary definition of a goody two-shoes.
00:25:23
just so you know my mom does this exact same thing to me and I can still remember when she told me
00:25:28
yeah yeah it was like we were like in front of the refrigerator and then she was like
00:25:32
like she was gonna break it to me like okay I know when you're lying I can see it I can see it in
00:25:39
your face when you're lying and I'm like really how I can just imagine going like no mom I didn't
00:25:44
do it and then that's like covering your forehead to be like that didn't happen the whole thing and
00:25:49
That's how I know. It's so easy to manipulate children. Children are so stupid. So it says, eventually they told me the truth.
00:25:54
There was no magical dot. They could just tell when the kid was lying. To this day, I can't decide if that was an incredible parenting hack or a mild case of trash parenting.
00:26:04
Either way, I truly lucked out with the best parents in the world. My mom, Christy, left my biological dad when she was 23 with one-year-old me while pregnant with my sister.
00:26:13
About two years later she met the man I call dad John and they been the cool parents ever since Even now they are fan favorites of all of my friends and have gotten invited to several of my friends
00:26:24
weddings. That is a great sign of great parents. Totally. Stay sexy and don't lie to your parents,
00:26:30
Hayden. The dot on the forehead. What's the biggest lie you've said to your children or
00:26:37
that your parents have said to you? Yeah. I want those. Yeah. Like Adrienne saying to her kids,
00:26:43
like she was scared. Be careful. The man's going to see you. That's right. When they were
00:26:46
misbehaving in public. The man's going to see you. The man's going to see you. Not technically a lie.
00:26:52
No, there is the man and he is going to see you. That's right. Okay, here's my last one.
00:26:57
I'm not going to read you the subject. What up, bitches? Let's do this. L-E-Z, let's do this.
00:27:02
About five years ago, I went to a friend's place for a lesbian poker night because the girls love
00:27:07
to gamble and gossip. When they say let's do this, they mean let's do this. When I arrived,
00:27:13
I knew everyone except for one woman, Kelly, a friend of the host from down the block.
00:27:17
The host excitedly greeted me and said, for the game, I sat you next to Kelly because she
00:27:21
doesn't know anyone and you are a yak mouth who can talk to a brick wall. That would never happen to me.
00:27:28
That being totally true, I felt lovingly seen and sat down for the game. Couple hands in, I had lost plenty of money, but was really enjoying chatting it up with
00:27:36
Kelly. Midway through the night, she leans over to me and says, so I don't want to freak you
00:27:41
out, but I'm a medium and your grandmother Mary has been bugging me all night. She is a very
00:27:46
persistent woman. Holy shit. I grew up with a lot of Italian superstition slash woo woo slash
00:27:52
Catholic hocus pocus, but I'm a pragmatist at the end of the day. So I was cautiously intrigued.
00:27:57
Kelly continued. She wants you to know she is with your grandpa Joe. They are together and happy. So
00:28:02
you don't need to worry about them. But your grandmother is very worried about your brother's
00:28:06
heart because of the way Grandpa Joe passed, so he needs to go to the doctor. I would have just
00:28:11
punched her in the face and run. I don't even care if it wasn't true. Just freaking out.
00:28:16
Yeah. My eyes widened and my mouth fell open. How the fuck did this woman know my grandparents had
00:28:21
both passed their names, my grandfather's cardiac issue, and that I had a brother?
00:28:27
Yeah. All of it. All of it. The next day, I called my brother, who was 28 at the time, and recounted the story.
00:28:33
He said well I be honest I didn think this was how the call was going to go when I picked up the phone but I guess I make the appointment Please My brother got a full run and it was discovered his blood pressure was dangerously high especially for being so young
00:28:46
The doctor put him on medication and instructed him to have a blood pressure monitor in his home so they could keep an eye on it.
00:28:52
The doctor said, we need to get this addressed immediately, so it's a really good thing you came in today.
00:28:57
We typically don't get people your age coming in for this, so out of curiosity, what made you come in?
00:29:01
And he simply shrugged and said, my grandma told me to see you at your 1115 Brooklyn show.
00:29:07
Stay sexy and listen to your grandma, even if it's from beyond the grave. Jen, that was amazing.
00:29:13
You know, my aunt Kathleen did that. My sister, Adrian's family got a psychic for like a holiday.
00:29:19
Yeah. And there was like one of them had to drop out. So Adrian's like, do you want to come?
00:29:24
Yeah. And the first thing he does is like, Kathleen, who knows Kathleen? My aunt Kathleen had just died.
00:29:29
So everyone's like, it's Laura. and she's like that. She's like, your Aunt Kathleen needs you to be careful of gluten.
00:29:37
Right. And all she talked about was gluten. It's such a random thing to pull. If you were making it up, it's such a random thing to make up.
00:29:44
And then it turns out Nora has celiacs. Right. And they find out like three or four years later, which is just like, you can say what you want,
00:29:51
but I'm like, yeah, if it's a person who actually has the gift. Yeah, we should do. We should get a psychic in to talk to us,
00:29:59
to sit there and hold our hands and read to us. That's a good idea. Read us our tarot.
00:30:05
I don't know how it works. I mean, well, it would be like a psychic would be like what they're seeing and feeling about us.
00:30:12
Yeah. I guess at the same time, though, we've said every single thing about ourselves on this podcast.
00:30:16
Like every single fucking thing. They'd be like, it's your dead ex-boyfriend. I'm like, I wrote that in the book.
00:30:20
So you fucking knew that. You're like, Karen's told this celiac psychic story literally four times.
00:30:26
So if you don't know it, you're not a real listener. That's right. Oh, no, we know that one.
00:30:30
No, no, no. What's next? We'd have to get somebody that's like from a foreign country that doesn't, I don't know.
00:30:36
People from foreign countries listen to this podcast. Do you know that? Oh, that's true.
00:30:39
Not a lot. We went to Sweden once. We did. Well, thanks for listening. Happy 2026, everyone.
00:30:46
Yeah, congratulations. You're here. It's the lesbian poker night. Get used to it.
00:30:51
And stay sexy. And don get murdered Goodbye Goodbye Elvis do you want a cookie Ah
00:31:23
wherever you get your podcasts. Or watch us on YouTube, search for My Favorite Murder,
00:31:27
and then like and subscribe. Goodbye. Vacation planning should feel like a breeze,
00:31:38
not a deep dive into countless travel sites searching for the best deal. With Cheap Caribbean's Budget Beach Finder,
00:31:43
you can search every destination and every date all in one search. You'll save time and money
00:31:48
with the Budget Beach Finder. Say goodbye to endless scrolling and tab hopping and hello to Budget Beach Bliss at your fingertips.
00:31:55
Go to cheapcaribbean.com to try out the Budget Beach Finder and see just how stress-free vacation planning should be.
00:32:01
Goodbye. This episode is brought to you in part by Vital Farms. Have you noticed that the egg section at the grocery store
00:32:07
has gotten very complicated lately? But Vital Farms makes it simple. Pasture-raised eggs traceable to the farm.
00:32:13
Their hens have outdoor access year-round with fresh air and sunshine and forage on rotated pastures with local grasses.
00:32:19
Every carton can be traced back to the farm it came from so you can see the pasture where the hens live by visiting vitalfarms.com slash farm.
00:32:27
Look for the black carton in the egg aisle and visit vitalfarms.com to learn more.
00:32:31
Vital Farms, good eggs, no shortcuts. Goodbye. Running a business shouldn't feel like surviving a software group project.
00:32:39
One app for accounting, another for inventory, another for sales, and somehow none of them talk
00:32:45
to each other. That's where Odoo comes in, an all-in-one business management software that
00:32:50
brings every part of your business together. From sales and accounting to inventory and marketing,
00:32:56
all in one powerful platform. No messy integrations, no bouncing between tabs, and best of all, no spreadsheets. Stop managing software and start managing your business with
00:33:07
one unified system. Try for free today at odoo.com slash iHeartRadio. That's odoo.com slash iHeartRadio.