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Data accurate as of 220-26. Hello and welcome to Rewind with Karen in Georgia. That's right. It's Wednesday again.
00:02:33
And that means that we're recapping our old shows for you with all new commentary, updates and insights.
00:02:39
So today's episode is a little different. We're recapping episode 82, which is part one of our two part crossover series with none other than Unqualified with Anna Faris because she's famous.
00:02:52
Yes. Anna Faris. She's hugely famous. And we got asked to do this and we couldn't.
00:02:56
And her podcast was super popular. I don't think she does it anymore. That's right.
00:03:00
But yeah, she was at top of her game. And like, you know, it was such a cool ask.
00:03:06
And it was such an exciting thing to be able to do. Yeah. And then we also got invited to her house to do it in the fucking Hollywood Hills.
00:03:13
Yep. So it was definitely like a famous person's mansion. Yeah. She and Chris Pratt had just separated.
00:03:20
It like just came out in the news that they had separated. So we were both a little like nervous, I think, about like, don't say anything about a husband or anything.
00:03:29
Like, didn't want to mention. Yeah, we were kind of like, why didn't you cancel this?
00:03:33
Like, are you just going to podcast through it the way we are? OK, we're bonded then.
00:03:38
Yeah, we'll do it. That's what we do, too. So this episode came out August 15th, 2017.
00:03:43
All right, let's listen to the intro of episode 82. Are we doing this? I don't know, Sim.
00:03:50
You tell me what the fuck we're doing. I show up here. This is exciting. We're doing a crossover.
00:03:57
Karen and Georgia from My Frit Murderer in your house right now. Thank you guys so much for being here.
00:04:02
Hi. This is like the most efficient way to podcast, isn't it? Everybody gets together in one room and talk all at the same time.
00:04:08
Right. I would like to describe the setting, though. We are now, we're in like what we call the mole room because there's this massive poster
00:04:15
of this horrible movie called The Mole People that's from like 1946. and uh and we so we call this room the mole room and now it's it's incredibly dark and lit with
00:04:27
candles and um we're going to talk about our favorite murder yeah welcome to our lives bloody
00:04:35
mary right it does feel like that have you guys always been attracted to like morbid things like
00:04:43
very attracted too. Yeah, I have. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. In a creepy way. It's a challenge though
00:04:50
because you've, I'll give you a tour later but I have like a lot of shit around that's,
00:04:55
I have a few like skulls, like a lot of taxidermy. I, the goal with the house was like,
00:05:02
how can I make it look like the creepiest natural history museum where my, the people that come over
00:05:07
might feel like they could get, you know, murdered. Dream house. Yeah. Yes. This is haunted for sure.
00:05:14
The mall room is haunted. It really is, isn't it? Absolutely. If any room is going to be haunted or any house, it's this.
00:05:20
I always thought like with the haunted thing, like we've talked about this on the podcast before, like how interesting it would be if somebody believed that their apartment at like the Oakwoods, like B2108 was like haunted.
00:05:39
Yeah. That's not fucking. See, that's what I'm saying. Like why do ghosts only gravitate towards like creepy darkness, old things like 1982.
00:05:50
We were talking about big stars haunting the Oakwood. Right. Like they really the big it like Betty Davis is in my half bath right now Everybody get ready In the crown molding In the shape crown molding We were talking about that how much creepier it is for a new build to be haunted than an old house
00:06:06
Because it's like, yeah, of course this place is haunted. There's like people who lived here.
00:06:09
But if it's like a new apartment or house in normal people's cases, then it's like, well, this is a fucking the demon.
00:06:17
That's a demon. It's not like Gary Sherman who died at like age 78. Who just has a message for his wife.
00:06:23
Yeah, he's not a dick. He never got married, though. Oh, is that what it is? Yeah, he was just a little lonely, died of a heart attack.
00:06:31
His messages, get out there. Really mix and mingle. Try to find somebody. The Oakwood gym is like steps from your house, and yet you won't go exercise.
00:06:40
Don't be like me. Don't be like Gary and die alone. So sad. Thank you guys so much for being here.
00:06:49
Thank you. You're pretending like it's your show. Oh, it's not my fucking show. I'm just going to tell the listeners what we're doing first.
00:06:56
So they know. Great. Because it kind of is her show. Yeah. But we're just at her place.
00:07:00
It's our show. It's true. I get rude. We're doing a full on cross. You guys are getting the full unqualified treatment.
00:07:06
And we're going to get the full My Favorite Murder Treatment. I feel like together.
00:07:09
I feel like a guest. Maybe like you host this beginning part. Then we'll host. It might.
00:07:14
Yes. I would love that. We move into the room we want to be in. Right. Which is full of dead people.
00:07:20
My upstairs bedroom. Okay, I like that. So Ana, you're going to host the first part.
00:07:29
Next week, we're going to release, we're actually on the 22nd. We're releasing this on the 15th.
00:07:33
And we're releasing, Steve, right? We're releasing the 22nd, the second part. God, I'm falling asleep.
00:07:37
And then, no, listen, what we're going to do is, it's very easy. This is important.
00:07:41
This is very important. We're going to start with Karen. You're going to talk about your favorite murder.
00:07:46
That's right. Then we're going to go to unqualified deal breakers. Then we're going to take a device call.
00:07:51
After that, we'll end the show and then we'll come back next week. Actually, we'll wait five minutes and then we'll start again.
00:07:58
And this time you guys are hosting and Georgia, you're going to start with your favorite murder
00:08:04
and Ana will go with hers and then we'll do one more call and we'll wrap it up. I love it.
00:08:08
It's amazing. Sounds good, right? Can you go over that again a few more times? This is the most, what's the word, like when things are planned that I've ever experienced
00:08:18
in a podcast. Is it planned? Most planned. We're trying. We'll see where it goes.
00:08:23
I'm sure that we're going to go off the rails. That's because you guys are wittier than we are.
00:08:26
And we have to like plan shit out. We're not from Wittier. Are you waiting for me?
00:08:32
And we're back. Do you remember how this, like, did Steven just get this request in the Gmail?
00:08:41
Yeah, I think they just reached, her people just reached out to us. Or maybe it was our agents.
00:08:46
I don't know. I don't remember. But it was just really like surprising. What I do remember is the hedge in front of her house was literally 30 feet high.
00:08:55
It was like you wouldn't know there was a house behind the hedge. What I remember is us leaving.
00:09:00
We went out front to leave. We were like saying goodbye. And an SUV with like blacked out windows drives up, stops.
00:09:09
The window rolls down. Two like beefy guys just go, hey, where's Chris? Meaning Chris Pratt.
00:09:14
Oh. I think they were paparazzi. They're paparazzi. But I didn't know. And so I go, Chris who?
00:09:20
Like, I didn't. They go, hey, where's Chris? Like, really casually. And the other weird thing is that my high school boyfriend who died in a car accident's name was Chris Pratt.
00:09:30
So the whole fucking thing is weird. That's crazy. That's really weird. It just was a weird day.
00:09:36
So they go, hey, where's Chris? Like, we're supposed to be like, oh, he's still in there with her.
00:09:40
They're making it. Like, I don't know what we were supposed to say. But I just went, who's Chris?
00:09:44
Insane. I know. That was the perfect answer. You didn't know you had actually given the perfect answer to those people.
00:09:49
But I think what I remember is going in there and just being like, it was strange to be in someone's personal space.
00:09:55
Yeah. Like to that degree. It's very trustworthy. Like famous people are very private and are very like protective of their personal spaces.
00:10:04
As they should be. Right. So the fact that we didn't go into like an office or a studio.
00:10:08
Right. Was like an honor. Yeah. That was scary. And she was so cool, normal, real, like basically like we know each other already.
00:10:18
She was fucking hilarious to like immediately on our level. Not that we're like the funniest, but like we have a weird level.
00:10:25
Yeah. And you and I know each other well, so we have a level together. And she was immediately just like, boom, hitting it.
00:10:30
And so complimentary. Like she made us feel comfortable. I just remember. Yeah. It was a very lovely, but also funny because like the concept of this episode was very odd.
00:10:42
And we were all just like, is this even going to work? I think it was kind of their producer's idea of how we were going to do it.
00:10:49
But it ended up being the great perfect cross, like a literal perfect crossover.
00:10:53
Yeah. And also, like, all the kind of gothy elements were like, oh, yes, we do know you.
00:10:58
Totally. This is very cool. Also, she is tiny, tiny, tiny. Tiny, petite, gorgeous.
00:11:04
Yeah. Couldn't be lovelier. Yeah. Little lady. People love to hear about stuff like that because it's always like if they see a celebrity in real life, they're like, I couldn't believe he was so short.
00:11:13
It's like every celebrity is literally five foot two. Every single one. Male or female.
00:11:19
Yeah. Five foot two. Yeah. Big heads. Big heads. I don't know if Ana wants to come back on our podcast.
00:11:26
I would love it. If she wants to come to the Exactly Right Network. Please. Whatever you want.
00:11:31
If Ana Fares still listens to this podcast, which probably not. No, I doubt it. But would be so cool to have her back 10 years later, basically.
00:11:38
Absolutely. And what I love about this, and let's get into it, is that you cover one of the most fucking crazy ass stories of all time.
00:11:46
I forgot that you covered the BTK killer in this episode. Yes. Wild. Perfect. And the way we did it.
00:11:52
And also I didn realize I was going to be doing a story by myself It was almost like here we go And like okay go ahead Tell us one of the biggest ones ever Go right ahead And I have to do that in front of the star of Just Friends one of the greatest films of all time
00:12:07
And the House Bunny. Don't forget the House Bunny. Don't ever forget the House Bunny.
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For full offer details, visit boostmobile.com. Okay, should we jump right in? Let's, yeah.
00:13:54
You want to do, let's do your murder. Yeah, let's do murder. Okay. Just start, just.
00:13:58
Go for it. All right, guys. Well, this is, when I got the email, the highly detailed email about how this was going to go,
00:14:06
um and it said my favorite murder like i've already done most of my favorite true you know
00:14:12
like my my top 10 you know what i mean we've burned through yeah you've done yeah a bunch so
00:14:19
but i realized there was one i haven't done oh my god that i do uh and i've always been very
00:14:25
fascinated by and that's the btk killer oh my god heavy hitter so um this is but we're doing
00:14:33
shorter versions than we normally do, right? This is kind of a bit of a condensed.
00:14:36
Mine's not. Do you not know what I'm talking about? No, I do. I was like, how do I make a lame joke?
00:14:44
I'm actually not a comedian at all. Look at me. I'm not either. For a second, I honestly thought I was like, am I going to tell her about the worst man
00:14:53
who's ever lived? This is so exciting. Mine's not shorter. Is there a shorter? It isn't, but I was going to.
00:14:58
I don't know that many details. Will you please? Okay. Yeah. I mean, I'm excited to hear about this.
00:15:03
Can somebody just give me a wrap it up if we need to like wrap it up? Sure. Sam does an amazing wrap it up finger.
00:15:07
I have a great wrap it up finger. I just do this. Okay, guys, wrap it up. Okay, so this all started in Wichita, Kansas in January 15th, 1974.
00:15:17
And it's bad, bad, bad. So 15-year-old Charlie Otero comes home from school, and he sees that his garage door is open, which is weird.
00:15:27
And he comes home to find the whole house a mess, but it's silent, which is insane because he has four other brothers and sisters.
00:15:34
He's the oldest. Everyone else is younger than him. So he knows something is very wrong.
00:15:39
His house has never been quiet in his life. Right. If there's five kids. So he's walking around trying to figure out what's going on.
00:15:47
And then he hears his sister yell, Charlie, come quick. Mom and dad are playing a bad trick on us.
00:15:52
So he goes upstairs. Oh, God, I'm getting chills. Oh, mom and dad. I haven't even gotten through the first paragraph yet.
00:15:59
That's how bad this is. Oh, sad. So he goes upstairs and he finds his brother and sister, Carmen and Danny, huddled together, holding each other in their room.
00:16:09
And then he goes and checks the parents' room and he finds his father, Joseph Ratera, who was 38, dead on the floor, bound and strangled to death.
00:16:19
And his mother, Julie, who's 34, also bound and strangled to death, laying on the bed.
00:16:24
They're babies. 34 and you have four or five kids, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy.
00:16:31
That's how they did it back then. I'm hung up on the bound thing. Their arms and legs are tied in front of them.
00:16:44
He was a big hog tire. I'm not sure specifically on this. There's certain terminology that you use with certain murder phrases
00:16:53
and bound is definitely one of them. right yeah this guy was like on occasion i was gonna say the same thing like with the word um
00:17:03
what's the word when you get all your intestines taken out emboweled disemboweled but that's not sexy emboweled is when you have them all put back in
00:17:11
that wasn't relevant go on oh okay um so it this is where it's even worse so um he yells
00:17:25
to tell his siblings to go find their other brother, Joseph Jr., and their sister, Josephine,
00:17:34
and bring them to him, but they can't find them. And so they call the police. The police come.
00:17:40
The kids get out of the house. And the police find Joey in a different bedroom, also bound and murdered.
00:17:48
And then they search the whole house, and they finally find Josephine. And she's been murdered.
00:17:54
she hanging from a pipe in the basement Yeah So there no indication of forced entry The phone line has been cut Classic horror movie style
00:18:07
That's what you do. Yes. For the scariest results possible. The family car's gone.
00:18:15
There's no clues. The killer's left nothing behind until upon a closer inspection,
00:18:21
the police find that there's semen next to where Josephine's body was in the basement.
00:18:27
The mom? The daughter in the basement. Oh, no. So because they stole the family car,
00:18:35
the first break they have is that a man, they finally find the car in a grocery store parking lot,
00:18:41
and then they find a man who saw who was driving the car, but the only description they have of him
00:18:45
is he's a white man with dark hair. So it seems like to narrow it down, right? Yeah, I mean.
00:18:52
You've just gotten rid of all those blondes. Yeah. Listen, if you're on Mars and it's all green, little green men, then you're like, it's the one guy who's white and with dark hair.
00:19:02
But unfortunately, you're in Wichita. You're in Wichita, Kansas. Yeah. A lot of whites.
00:19:07
Yeah. So why didn't the people at the Frosty Freeze, they should start to like clock like descriptives of every single customer they have.
00:19:16
I do that now. Do you do that now? None of this podcast. I'm like. At our job at Frosty Freeze.
00:19:22
Yeah, listen, this podcast doesn't pay well. I do that now when I'm like, I see someone strange in my apartment building and I'm like, button down fucking plaid shirt.
00:19:31
And that's actually a description of my husband. I wave at everybody in our neighborhood.
00:19:35
Oh, yeah. I'm just like, hi, I acknowledge you. And then they're like, when was the last time you saw Anna?
00:19:41
And they're like, well, she waved at me at 7.35 in the morning. Like, don't you kill me.
00:19:47
That's right. Don't you kill me. We got it. I like those stories where a little kid who has some kind of autism spends a lot of his time writing down license plate numbers.
00:19:57
And that kid then turns in his notebook and the cops end up finding somebody because he does that.
00:20:03
Never heard that. Really? That's amazing. I've heard it on two different ones. What I love is when a little kid is like, he looked like a lion.
00:20:10
And then you're like, this might have been a movie. Then they're like, you're so stupid, little kid.
00:20:16
And then you see him and he's like got a lion beard and like, or he looked like a clown.
00:20:20
And then it's like, he was a clown. Like when little kids say stupid shit and then it turns out that they're not stupid.
00:20:25
Yeah. Like we're just, we don't have an imagination. He really loves blue popsicles.
00:20:29
Right. And you're like, who has a blue mouth? Oh my God, it's Jimmy Blue Mouth. Fucking Blue Mouth.
00:20:38
Add it again. Oh, let's get back to the murder. Okay. So now a year later, there's two brothers, the Sebring brothers in Wichita.
00:20:47
They turn themselves in for these murders. They have records. The police search their house.
00:20:55
The brothers say that they had an accomplice, that they killed the whole family.
00:20:59
And that goes into the newspaper and on the news. So about 11 months later, the local paper in Wichita, I believe it's the Wichita Eagle,
00:21:11
They get an anonymous call saying there's a letter in an applied engineering mechanics book at the Wichita Public Library that the police need to go take a look at.
00:21:21
So they get the letter and it's from BTK. And it's before he gave himself his name, he said, those dude singular you have in custody are just talking to get publicity.
00:21:35
They know nothing at all. and then the letter goes on to list in incredible detail exactly how the Otero family was killed
00:21:43
and down to specific knots that were used and bindings and the fact that a radio was stolen
00:21:49
from the house which the cops hadn't noticed and no one had noticed until this letter and then
00:21:54
they went and checked it out and it was true so now they know that they're communicating with the
00:21:59
man who killed this family holy shit so the police decide to keep the letter out of the press
00:22:04
and they keep investigating. So two years later, on March 17th, 1977, a man knocks on the door
00:22:11
of Shirley Vian's house. She's a 24-year-old mother of two. And the children answer the door
00:22:19
and let him inside. And he takes the children, locks them in the bathroom, puts a door under the door handle,
00:22:26
then he strangles Shirley to death and binds her first, strangles her to death. and leaves.
00:22:34
The children get out. They are able to describe the man to the police and they say he's a large white man
00:22:40
with a carrying a big black bag. So nine months after that, it's December 9th, 1977
00:22:48
and a caller calls the police dispatcher and gives them the address of Nancy Fox,
00:22:57
who's 25 years old. And the police arrive at the address and find the body of Nancy tied up and strangled.
00:23:05
And there's, again, semen found near the body. And the killer's voice is captured on tape
00:23:10
when he called into the dispatcher. And so the police released this tape. Wait, it was him who called in to get them to come to her body?
00:23:20
Yes. What a creep. I mean, I'm sorry he's a murderer. So the police released the tape on TV
00:23:27
and they ask anyone who recognizes the voice to please come forward knowing that.
00:23:31
No one knows who it is. So two months later in February, there's a letter sent to K-A-K-E TV.
00:23:41
That's right, Cake TV in Wichita, claiming responsibility for the deaths of the Otero family of Mrs. Vianne and of Nancy Fox,
00:23:52
as well as another unnamed victim. And the caller, the writer of the letter demands to be called VD.
00:24:00
TK for bind them, torture them, kill them. Yeah. It's sort of a weird version of fuck, marry, kill, isn't it?
00:24:07
Yeah. Yeah. But it's more past tense as opposed to like future. Do you think Burger King sued?
00:24:15
That's not funny. That's in bad taste. Georgia, I thought it was very funny. No, thank you.
00:24:20
But thank you. Everyone supports you, Georgia. Thank you. It's a supportive room.
00:24:24
The next day, the police chief named Richard LeBunion announces that a serial killer is at large in Wichita.
00:24:32
His name is BTK and he has threatened to strike again. So, of course, everyone loses their shit in Wichita.
00:24:40
There is a rumor going around that this killer is targeting women with long hair.
00:24:45
So almost all the women in Wichita, Kansas cut their hair short. There's like a line.
00:24:50
I want to work it. Beauty cuts. Right. 1977. We'll just give you a nice dirty handle.
00:24:56
I'll be making bank. Yeah. We'll curl the bangs under. You want to work it? We'll do this part back.
00:25:01
Sheer bliss. Oh, this is horrible. It's bad. A year later, in April 28th, 1979, a woman named Ann Williams.
00:25:17
Oh, no, I'm sorry. Anna. Anna or Anna? Oh, I think it's Anna Ferris Williams. Oh, God.
00:25:27
That's not cool. Well, that's not cool. I knew that I was living in some kind of weird purgatory.
00:25:31
But this is it. This is all that happens is someone says your name. I become a movie star.
00:25:37
This is the best purgatory ever. Love it. Okay, so this woman, Anna Williams, this is a crazy part of the story.
00:25:45
She has square dancing one night. And so she's supposed to, normally when she goes home from work, she's home around seven.
00:25:54
But that night she was square dancing. so she doesn't get home until after 10 o'clock.
00:25:59
She's sweaty and full of joy. She's been flirting with cowboys. Square dancing. Come on.
00:26:05
There's not a more innocent hobby that you could have. It's like in a mood. So she gets home and notices that her bedroom door is open
00:26:15
and she knows for a fact that she shuts it every morning when she leaves her house.
00:26:19
She picks up her phone to call the police and the phone line is cut. So she runs to the neighbor's house.
00:26:26
Yes, girl. And they call the police. The police go to her house and search her house,
00:26:31
and they find a wire fashioned into the shape of a noose next to the bed. And in a previous communication,
00:26:39
BTK had promised that he was going to hang his next victim. So Anna never went back to the house.
00:26:46
Hey, hey, hey, we'll be back it up. Keep her Anna, okay? What a weird promise. Yeah.
00:26:51
You know, like, I pinky swear. Ugh. So she never goes back to the house, But her daughter goes by to pick up the mail and they find a letter addressed to Anna's deceased husband, care of her.
00:27:06
And it looks very official. But when they open it, they find a pair of her pantyhose inside and a drawing of what he had intended to do to her with a poem called Oh, Anna, Why Didn't You Appear?
00:27:19
So this 66-year-old woman who went square dancing instead of home didn't get killed by BTK because of that.
00:27:28
So seven years later, it's September 16th, 1986. And Vicki Wegerly, who's only 20 years old, is found by her husband when he comes home from work, strangled and near death.
00:27:42
So he calls the paramedics. They come, they work on her, and they get her into the ambulance, and they get her to the hospital.
00:27:49
the crime scene is completely compromised because they're all walking all over it
00:27:54
and she dies of her injuries the police have no leads and the case goes cold so 30 years later on the 30th anniversary
00:28:05
of the BTK killings the Wichita Eagle publishes a recap 30 years later and no new murders
00:28:13
right I was on the Wichita police force let me tell you what Did it eat you up inside?
00:28:21
I wrote for the Wichita Eagle on TV. I was like, wait, how has this not been solved?
00:28:26
It goes forward in time and you have one gray wisp of hair like right on the side of your bob.
00:28:31
It's real stylish. That's how we know the 30 years have passed for you. That's it though, because I've had Botox ever since.
00:28:37
Still. So they published a recap of what happened and the effect that it had on the city.
00:28:43
and a couple days later a letter arrives at the Wichita Eagle and it contains a photocopy
00:28:53
of Vicki Wegerly's driver's license and photos of her dead body posed so it's the BTK
00:29:01
and he's letting the police know that he's not gone anywhere and he's not a part of history
00:29:05
and he begins to communicate with the police through statements in the newspaper and personal ads
00:29:11
and through letters and they the police basically convinced him to start sending them packages because they
00:29:19
know that anything that they have from him they can get now there's you know so much more forensic
00:29:24
um science that they can apply to all this because that you know of course back in the 70s all they
00:29:30
could do is collect stuff and put it in an envelope lick that stamp motherfucker right so
00:29:34
exactly right so they're trying to get him to do all that um at one point he's actually caught
00:29:40
on surveillance video in his black jeep Cherokee, dropping off a package to the police station.
00:29:47
What? Because he thinks he can never get caught. So at one point he asks the police if they can trace him through floppy disk And the police say no No No Of course not But the police are lying
00:30:05
Yeah. No, I guess that. This is my big reveal. The police were lying to him. Wait, I'm sorry.
00:30:10
Police are not allowed to lie by law. No. Well, it turns out, in this case... Wait, what?
00:30:16
Yeah, you can. That's inadmissible. BTK, don't worry about a thing. And go ahead and send us that floppy disk.
00:30:24
Because his thinking was he had an idiot. He had so many maps he wanted to show them and poems and things that he wanted to communicate to them.
00:30:34
He didn't want to have to send it all individually. So he was like, I'm just going to throw it all into a floppy disk and send that over to you.
00:30:40
And they could have all my serial killer documents. And they were like, sounds great.
00:30:44
Do it right away. AP English or some shit. I don't know what that means because I was never in AP English.
00:30:49
But I bet. Advanced placement. That you couldn't do that. No, you can't. Yeah. um so so they they of course trace him on that and they find out that the person sending all of this
00:31:03
is a man named Dennis Rader he's a husband and a father of two he's the city dog catcher he's a
00:31:10
church elder and he's a boy scout leader so he was in the entire time hiding in plain sight in
00:31:17
Wichita. Oh my God. Um, any one of those seems like a serial killer job, but like all together,
00:31:23
you know, like a dog catcher. Yeah. Well, the dog, do you remember that hometown that we had?
00:31:27
We had somebody send us a letter and they were from Wichita. And this story they told was they
00:31:33
had a dog that got out and the, the dog catcher lived in his neighborhood and the dog catcher
00:31:39
took the dog and took him inside his house. And then he went down to get the dog and the dog
00:31:44
catcher was like no no no you're you have fines that you have to pay and you can't have this dog
00:31:49
back and i'm going to take him into the pound tomorrow morning and all this stuff the guy and
00:31:52
the guy basically charged his neighbor and was like i'll beat the shit out of you give me my dog
00:31:56
back and he got his dog back and went home and then like a month later it was revealed that that
00:32:02
guy was btk so he basically almost got into a fist fight with a serial killer started some shit yeah
00:32:09
And he's like, give me my fucking dog. That's amazing. I forgot about that. So essentially, Dennis Rader confessed to all of the killings, and then he confessed to two cold cases that they didn't know were connected to the BTK, which one was a woman named Catherine Bright who was stabbed to death in her home.
00:32:26
BTK was waiting inside her house when she got home. He didn't know that she would be with her brother, Kevin, who he then shot and thought was dead.
00:32:37
then went and attacked Catherine and then Kevin got up and tried to fight him again and then
00:32:45
he strangled him and thought he was dead again and then he murdered Catherine and then turned around and Kevin's
00:32:51
body was gone. Kevin! Kevin had gotten up and fucking ran out of the house. Fuck yeah, Kevin.
00:32:57
And called the police. Can you imagine how scary that was? Like even for a serial killer to
00:33:01
turn around and the body's gone? Oh, dude. Like even for a serial killer. The most for a serial killer.
00:33:07
even if you have no feelings at all you're like oh shit oh shit um so he on that case he or that
00:33:16
crime he didn't clean up anything he didn't do this his normal um stuff that he would do he just
00:33:22
like really quickly covered his tracks and ran out so he was positive he was going to get caught
00:33:28
on that murder and he wasn't. And then the other one, this is bad. It was in 1985.
00:33:38
He broke into the home of Maureen Hedge, who was one of his neighbors. And after her male guest left for the night,
00:33:46
he snuck out of her closet, turned on her bedroom light. She sat up, he pounced on her
00:33:54
and strangled her to death. And then he put her body in the trunk of his car. Oh no, sorry. The trunk of her own car and drove to the Christ Lutheran
00:34:03
church where he eventually became a church elder and, um, took pictures of her in various sexual
00:34:12
bondage positions. Um, he had all of these pictures in his house and all of the pictures
00:34:18
of all of his victims in his house. When they arrested him, they found all of these files in
00:34:22
his garage. And so basically he entered guilty to all counts, all 10 murders, and he was given
00:34:29
10 consecutive life sentences. And he said in an early letter that he blamed his murders on what
00:34:39
he called factor X. He said he was a big serial killer aficionado himself. And he said that all
00:34:46
serial killers had the same um factor x from jack the ripper to the son of sam and he said that
00:34:53
basically factor x was a demon and he described it as something uh that controls his desire to kill
00:35:00
um and he drew it uh in varying ways sometimes as a frog and sometimes as a more traditional
00:35:08
looking demon and that's the basics for the btk killer everybody okay can we talk a little bit
00:35:15
about the death penalty stuff, why do serial killers tend, some of them get a pass?
00:35:21
Like you shoot somebody, let's say once by accident during, you know, when you're robbing a gas station.
00:35:28
If you live in Kansas, you're going to get like the death penalty. Why the fuck does he like get a pass?
00:35:36
He's serving. Plead guilty, right? I mean, I have no idea. We are the last people
00:35:41
you should be asking these questions. I'm ready to speculate. We have no idea. I could speculate.
00:35:46
I'm the shit out of this, but it's all speculation. And I think it's because he made a deal that if he pled guilty,
00:35:53
he wouldn get put to death Right Most likely I don know Because then you don have to put the families through the trial Well it also depends on state by state
00:36:05
Some places have the death penalty and some don't. Amy, you could probably weigh in here.
00:36:10
I'm actually a federal prosecutor. Holy shit! Why are you not getting in here? I don't know.
00:36:15
I have a podcast called My Favorite Narcotics Distribution Effect. It doesn't really have the same ring.
00:36:22
No, I don't actually do death penalty cases. luckily for me. So this isn't really something I can weigh in on, but certainly there's lots of
00:36:29
reasons why somebody might not get the death penalty between like whatever the statute is to
00:36:34
a plea agreement, like you said, or also there could be, you know, they might have a particular,
00:36:39
I mean, there's just a lot, there's a lot of different reasons. Is it rare to get a death
00:36:44
penalty case based on all the things you can do to avoid it, even to go to trial that way?
00:36:50
Yeah. You know, I mean, again, I do federal criminal law, so I don't speculate again,
00:36:53
up a ton. Speculation, this whole thing. I have worked on some death penalty matters. There were
00:36:57
habeas petitions at the Ninth Circuit, and they were pretty horrible, gruesome cases.
00:37:03
I did not enjoy it. So I don't know how you guys do this every day. I don't. Like, you know, we tend to be, whatever. Okay. I don't mean to go off on my weird tangent.
00:37:15
Go off. That's what this podcast is. But truly, like, why? Like, it seems like, all right, if we're going to accept the death penalty,
00:37:22
which I'm not in favor of, just in general, on an ethical basis. But if we're going to do it as a nation,
00:37:30
seems like the BTK guy, well, you know, that seems like... Top of the list. Yeah.
00:37:36
Right? Right. Yeah. Well, a lot of the, for me, a lot of the sentencing and that sort of thing doesn't really make a lot of sense.
00:37:44
There's not a clear cut one where it's like, well, he did this, so this is going to happen because historically,
00:37:49
this is how these people get charged. I just wonder if like the gruesomeness of fascination, like is adds this undercurrent of like, do we weirdly, clearly like kind of appreciate the obsession and the oddness of mentality and value that in a way that.
00:38:15
Or we can learn from it in some way. I mean, I think it's interesting. I definitely don't like value it or appreciate it.
00:38:21
Like it's, I don't think that the fascination is a positive. No, not at all. Of course not.
00:38:27
Yeah. Yeah. But, but there is something different about like, um, the, the, like the fascination of
00:38:34
mind of somebody like this that, you know, whereas somebody else were a little more dismissive
00:38:40
of like, yeah, yeah, we'll inject you. Well, I always think it's, it was a really interesting decision.
00:38:46
And maybe even we lost something in the fact that Ted Bundy was put to death, because I
00:38:52
feel like there's so much we can let the extreme of being a sociopath and psychotic.
00:38:59
We could have learned so much about the human brain based on just interviews with Ted Bundy,
00:39:04
not with people who could be tricked. You know what I mean? And like, so we put him to death and it's like, well, we kind of put ourselves out of
00:39:10
a learning experience in a way. I mean, he was going to stay in prison for the rest of his fucking life.
00:39:15
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, listen, I agree with you. My uncle lived across the street from him, by the way.
00:39:21
In Seattle? Yeah. Start over. No, that's all I know. Just that he lived, my uncle lived right across the street where Ted Bundy lived in, he rented
00:39:30
a room in an attic. Is this the same uncle who made the guillotine that is on your front porch?
00:39:35
Yes, it is. Holy shit. He sounds like a badass motherfucker. He is. He's awesome.
00:39:39
Get him on the podcast. Uncle Roger. Roger, get on the podcast. so okay I'm sorry I did not mean to go no no no no no not at all um no because I was thinking about
00:39:49
that like it is the like Ted Bundy was interviewed a bunch at the end of his life but I think people
00:39:55
get so it's like you murder almost 40 women and after a while people are just like get rid of him
00:40:02
like we don't care what he has to say anymore it's not that idea of like him getting to have
00:40:07
which I'm I also don't even know how I feel about the death penalty I'm definitely not advocating
00:40:11
for it but i do see the mentality of people just being like do you want to die tonight
00:40:17
in this gorgeous home again it's a medicine guillotine on the front porch this whole thing
00:40:22
is going to turn into like some kind of game that on is playing with us we're like oh and
00:40:27
the view magical she tried to kill us in all different ways my favorite man run but like
00:40:36
dennis what i think is fascinating about dennis raider is he was um like when he was the dog
00:40:40
catcher he was they called it like the city i can't remember the name of the term that was on
00:40:45
the side of the van of this really good made for tv movie i watched but he would do things like go
00:40:50
around and measure people's lawns and if your lawn was too high he would like take a picture of it and
00:40:57
like give people a warning and there was a story in this movie and i'm i didn't have time to see
00:41:02
if it was real because i didn't know how to fact check it but he in but i think it probably they
00:41:07
put it in based on something he really did, which is if somebody's dog got out, he would
00:41:13
bring it to the pound and then tell the person they had to talk to him before the pound would
00:41:18
release the dog to the person. And then, and so he would say they have five days to contact him
00:41:24
and then he wouldn't answer his phone. And then the pound would kill the animal.
00:41:28
He did that in, in this made for TV movie. He did that to one woman. And I remember hearing
00:41:32
about other things like that. So it's like this person who is taking these weird little,
00:41:36
like, you know, those people that love control and love power, even though it's like the dog catcher power.
00:41:42
So I could see that in a way where Ted Bundy would get off on being interviewed and it's like he's not really being punished.
00:41:48
He doesn't give a shit about staying in prison the rest of his life because all these people want to know about him.
00:41:53
So it almost like kill that motherfucker It a really fucked up way to approach fame isn it Like like like if you just want to be famous mildly yeah i was going to go through like two different avenues
00:42:05
i just knew when i was eight that i just really wanted to be famous or killer or whatever else it takes this is whatever it takes
00:42:17
if killing doesn't work then you go with acting i mean they're very similar Who knew? Podcasts. Very similar.
00:42:22
But truly, though, like the psychology, I guess, maybe this is what you're getting at, Karen, is the idea of like, like the idea that he clearly wanted desperately to be known.
00:42:34
Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. Himself, you know. He's the reason he got caught. His own need for that fame.
00:42:43
Like even two people almost got put into prison because of the, you know, who admitted to it.
00:42:50
Like, you should be like, great, I got off of it. He would have been it would have been a lot.
00:42:53
Yeah, that'd be the old double jeopardy thing we talk about where those people were prosecuted
00:42:57
for his crimes, then he would have he would have been innocent. And he couldn't let that happen because he wanted the credit.
00:43:04
My question is a fucking applied engineer book at the library. You think people check that out enough that they're going to find out
00:43:09
they're going to find that letter that he wrote applied engineer? No, no, I think you know, I think he put it in just specifically for the cops.
00:43:17
I don't think he stuck it there like forever. but okay he went and put it in and then called and said it's in this book
00:43:22
because it was 11 months i thought he's just waiting for some engineer student to go check
00:43:28
this book out and be like smart people will get this no no i think you just rolled on up to the
00:43:34
library listen i'm not an engineer totally right i don't know no i think he was like this is an
00:43:41
obscure one but maybe like someday yeah yeah some lucky nerd some lucky numbers this isn't a post
00:43:48
secret book where they like hide people hide their real secrets listen uh that was fucked up
00:43:55
i'm glad you did that one i feel like i feel like we don't do like famous serial killers a lot
00:43:59
but they're so such interesting stories like ted bundy it's like we have a lot i grew up um
00:44:06
north of seattle and there's there's like yeah you guys know you're nodding pacific northwest
00:44:10
Yeah, I know. It's something. You guys got it. In the rain. Loneliness. Loneliness.
00:44:17
Depression. In the rain. Control. Not enough people getting laid. I don't know. So many layers of clothing all the time.
00:44:25
Yes. That wool that scratches on you. Ugh. Until you kill. So do you remember a lot of this from when you were a kid?
00:44:32
Well, we had the Green River Killer. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Did you hear a lot about it?
00:44:38
Oh, yeah. It was in the news all the time. like another body found another body found another body found and um and then i heard a story that uh
00:44:47
i don't know you guys might know more about this but um that apparently his co-workers at the
00:44:52
gas or wherever he the car mechanic place that he worked at um would joke that he there would be
00:44:59
they'd be like dudes the green river killer no because he's so boring i think you know what
00:45:06
there's like the sense of creepiness that we're taught to ignore and especially as women
00:45:13
and like because we want to be polite, we want to be kind but maybe somewhere in us there's that little tug
00:45:24
of like, oh yeah, that one might be a little creepy maybe you should avoid that the eyes are bad on that one
00:45:33
that's what I always think Bad eyes. Yeah. And also it's that like overly nice creepy that you can't really explain.
00:45:42
It's the same thing of when like when the guys who put girls who when a girl puts you in the friend zone, they're like, you don't want a nice guy.
00:45:50
And it's like, no, we don't want a creep who's like who's being nice to us. Not.
00:45:55
I don't know where I'm going. Yeah. No one who has an agenda. Agenda. Yeah. Yeah.
00:45:59
Yeah. Okay. We're back. Karen. Update us, please. There are some updates. Chris Pratt is a crazy Christian now.
00:46:10
I know. I mean, sorry. For the BTK case in 2023, police named Dennis Rader as a suspect in the disappearance of Oklahoma teenager Cynthia Dawn Kinney and the murder of 22-year-old Shauna Beth Garber in Missouri.
00:46:27
No charges have been filed due to lack of strong evidence. But what a horrible realization for the people working on that case for the family of those people where it's like they could have been the victim of one of the worst serial killers we've ever seen.
00:46:42
Whenever these people get caught, it's always like this thing of where did they travel to for work or on vacation?
00:46:49
We need to look into those places, too. Those things are so chilling to me that it's just like anywhere this monster virus of a person went, he infected or possibly infected where he was.
00:47:02
And how he started. So it's that thing of when they always say like, he didn't start by killing an entire family and getting away with it.
00:47:09
Yes, exactly. Like, how did this begin? Totally. Okay, so we briefly speculated in this episode why Dennis Rader didn't get the death penalty.
00:47:19
And it's because Kansas didn't have capital punishment at the time, but it was reinstated in the mid-90s.
00:47:25
So he's still serving 10 consecutive life sentences. And his earliest possible release is in 2180.
00:47:33
And considering the fact that right now he's 80 years old, he'll die in prison. And one of my favorite parts of the Netflix series, Mindhunter, which if you haven't watched it in a while, God, it's so good.
00:47:46
He is the ADT killer. He is that mysterious, like, C-plot that runs through and is so creepy and disturbing.
00:47:54
So chilling. So bad. Also, there's a documentary on Netflix called My Father the BTK Killer from
00:48:00
October 2025. And it centers on the experiences and memories of Dennis Rader's daughter,
00:48:05
Carrie Ross. And so she it's based on her book, A Serial Killer's Daughter, which I read,
00:48:10
which is incredible. It's such a creepy fucking story. And she's a great storyteller. I highly
00:48:15
recommend her book. And also, iHeart released a podcast in January 2025 called Monster BTK.
00:48:22
So if you want the whole story or you just want to go back and get the details, You can listen to that.
00:48:28
All right. So let's get back into the episode where we play a game from Anna's show called Dating Deal Breakers.
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mobile.com okay sim just passed me my note sheet here are we supposed to yeah this is my subtle
00:50:48
transition. You used to be way better at segues. You did. This is a very strange show, by the way.
00:50:56
This is a very strange segway. How do we go from that murder to relationship deal breakers?
00:51:01
I mean, serial killer. Relationship deal breaker. Okay, so imagine your single, Deal Breakers.
00:51:08
Ready? He calls spaghetti Paschetti. Nope. Goodbye. Bye. He gets his balls professionally waxed every month.
00:51:16
no that's polite shave them waxing is fucking what's the word it's torture maybe he's like he
00:51:24
likes it though it's part of it shave them shave them it seems like there'll be an awful lot of
00:51:28
cuts no everyone calm down and shave your balls okay great uh he thinks oj was framed oh that's
00:51:35
you're like asking us to say yes to these questions no karen i mean i feel like these days with all these documentaries come out it's hard to know
00:51:46
You have to really stay neutral on a lot of things. But I love arguing. You're going to still go out with this fella?
00:51:52
I mean, it depends. If he's passionately yelling about it in my face constantly, then no.
00:51:57
Then I'd say yes. It can't be a singular passion. I love nothing more than to argue loudly at a bar with people about something.
00:52:03
I was yelling at Vince. We were talking about aliens at a bar, and he was like, I really don't like doing this.
00:52:09
I was like, oh, my God. Wait, are you pro or con? Aliens? Yeah. Well, it depends on what side I'm arguing.
00:52:15
Oh, I see. But I'm pro. You're just doing whatever. You're just arguing. Yeah, I'm pro. I like the idea that
00:52:20
you know, we're not like this singular, like sort of abyss of loneliness. Just that there's
00:52:27
other. You doing okay? No. We're all together. We're all together. Yep, there's other things out there. We gotta believe it.
00:52:36
Okay, during sex, he puts his finger up your butt. Without asking? Oh, we didn't
00:52:42
clarify. Yeah, without asking. First time? are we talking like seventh time uh let's say it's fourth time i need to be asked i need to be asked
00:52:53
it's a weird ass it is a weird ass georgia may i put my index finger up your anus no i'm gonna go
00:53:03
pass on that okay karen's being real quiet on this one i'm just thinking i'm thinking about
00:53:09
I'm just fantasizing. You know. Guys, it's all sensation. I feel like our culture really makes us feel bad about stuff.
00:53:16
I am so with you on that. So we know your answers. Two proud yeses or whatever. Two not proud yeses.
00:53:27
Okay, he eats placenta in a shake every morning. Who's placenta? Where does he get it?
00:53:34
He's got a hookup, you know? Lady placenta? or maybe not guy like lady or animal yeah it's wolf placenta so then yeah that's fine because
00:53:43
i'm gonna go ahead and say a firm no on this one there's take vitamins yeah i don't think that's
00:53:52
the way you have to do it so many vitamins out there okay guys but you know there immortality involved oh it there but you can still get hit by a car even if you eat placenta Yes or no I right Nope Nope What
00:54:06
Not if you eat it every day. You jump right over that car. You become immune to cars. That's amazing.
00:54:13
Now I want to eat placenta every day. That's it? Keep, I want more fucking cars.
00:54:16
I know, that was fun. That was fun. Okay, we're back. Pischetti. Still an ick. I think we call it the ick now.
00:54:27
Yes, that's right. It's been commodified. It's been Instagrammed. But yeah, that one was, we all felt very strongly about that one.
00:54:35
That's how we knew for a fact that we were all automatic friends. Was OJ framed?
00:54:43
Aliens, bedroom habits. So funny. Yeah, that was pretty great. I could do that all day long, deal breakers.
00:54:51
like especially what was this almost 10 years ago so so i had real strong opinions because i was in
00:54:57
my 30s and that's what you fucking do and you didn't realize how you were being perceived at
00:55:01
all times and people are going to tell you back on the internet wasn't a private conversation
00:55:06
between me you and anna faris no no well this conversation too was really funny because it's
00:55:12
like i remember very distinctly i'd already made the mistake of having a situation like this where
00:55:19
we like went all in on a podcast on someone who basically a woman was asking for advice
00:55:25
and it involved another woman and we were just like yeah she's this and that and then that woman
00:55:29
wrote in and so I was like oh I made this terrible mistake and she was like I was a listener of yours
00:55:35
and all that kind of stuff where we were like get rid of her she's a real what we just really opined
00:55:40
on a person we don't know yeah because that's what you do on these on pod when you're like
00:55:44
that's part of the fun is I don't ever want to blah even though it's not true exactly you're
00:55:50
just kind of saying what you think off the dome yeah and then someone's like you're literally
00:55:54
talking about me and I'm listening to you talk about me which is like right sorry yeah thank you
00:55:59
I have a deal breaker that I think has changed since when it was a big deal to me when I got
00:56:05
actually yelled at by someone on the internet from it who later apologized but it's a deal breaker
00:56:10
would be if someone shared custody of a pet with their ex. Oh, uh-huh. And now that I have Cookie and I'm like...
00:56:19
And you're getting a divorce? Please don't tell me this. No, but it's like, I'm like never walk away from Cookie.
00:56:27
Right. Wait a second. I would never walk away from Vince. First and foremost. Do not edit that out.
00:56:34
First and foremost. That's the given. Vince and I are wonderful. I don't think I'm even saying this if we weren't.
00:56:40
We're so good. But the given part is Vince. However, like, yeah. Yes. I wouldn't just be like, bye.
00:56:49
Here's our dog. Right. So now I kind of get that. As I get older. Well, it's just perspective changing.
00:56:56
Totally. Totally. What about you? Do you have one that you now are okay with or not okay with?
00:57:00
Is there a new deal breaker in your life? I love Paschetti. Can you imagine? I love when men talk like children.
00:57:06
No, I think it's the overall carefulness of talking on a podcast where you say all things are this way.
00:57:15
I mean, hearing my answers in this, I was just like, you have learned some hard lessons about your big opinions.
00:57:23
We're just like, well, to be fair. And it's just like, who the fuck is saying that?
00:57:26
Nobody listens to podcasts to get both sides of the story. Like you listen because you want that person's opinion on something big and loud.
00:57:34
And they're being real in themselves. But it's like, but then if a bunch of people are paying attention, they're like, well, here's my perfect end to say you're the worst person ever.
00:57:43
And then we were in that place where we were just like, are we the worst people ever?
00:57:47
Like, this is terrible. This is blah, blah, blah. And it's like now with all this perspective, I'm just like, yeah, I think we went back to saying our opinion, being able to make jokes.
00:57:56
And it's like the people that don't like us, the people that wouldn't like the Chris Pratt is a crazy Christian comment is like, well, I'm stating a fact.
00:58:05
And I'm not podcasting for them. No. There's other podcasts for you, and they're crazy Christian podcasts, and you can go fucking listen to them.
00:58:11
And also, please remember the element of bots. Please remember the element of bots in all internet interactions.
00:58:18
Me or them? No, no, no, the audience. Yes. The listener, because I think people come to the internet with a very sincere, like, I'm here saying my real opinion, and that's what this person with no picture and a bunch of numbers in their name is also doing.
00:58:33
And it's like this has it's ruined our country the way people have paid attention and given credit to bots.
00:58:39
Yeah. Everyone's got an opinion and an asshole except for bots. They have neither.
00:58:45
And you shouldn't listen to either of them. What? Wait. OK, now we're going to head back and take another advice call with Anna.
00:58:55
So we're going to actually move on to an advice call right now. All right. we're gonna call Katie
00:59:02
and she's in LA and she's 25. Oh my God. Hello. Hey, Katie, it's Tim. How are you?
00:59:11
Hi, I'm good. How are you? Here's Anna. Hi, Katie. Hi, Anna. We have two really special guests here.
00:59:19
We have Karen and Georgia from My Favorite Murder. Hi. Hi. Shut the fuck up. You shut up.
00:59:26
Do you know who they are? I take it you know who they are. Yeah, no, I literally only listen to like three podcasts and one is Anna's and one is
00:59:35
My Favorite Murder. So yeah, I definitely know who you guys are. Oh, hell yeah. Who are we competing with?
00:59:40
Yeah. Who's the third? Do you know My Brother, My Brother and Me? Oh, yeah. Travis is great.
00:59:46
Yeah, of course. Yeah, that's my third. Excellent. Well, Katie, tell us why your boyfriend's coworker is making you feel uncomfortable.
00:59:55
Yeah so just a little background My boyfriend and I have been dating for five and a half years We known each other since preschool We best friends you know the whole thing I moved to L in January for a job He moved after me We moved in together He got a job also which I was really excited about
01:00:18
I was kind of nervous about him moving with me. I didn't want there to be any resentment if he hated L.A. or anything like that.
01:00:26
So he eventually starts kind of making friends at work and going out with coworkers and things like that.
01:00:33
And there's one guy that would just kind of make snide comments about like if my boyfriend and I already had plans to make dinner or something that night.
01:00:43
and he was out with them at a bar he would say you know okay guys I gotta you know head home like
01:00:49
Katie and I are having dinner together and the guy would just kind of make these comments like
01:00:54
oh yeah I gotta get back and like make dinner for your girlfriend and blah blah like or gotta you
01:01:00
know you're whipped or whatever like she's like I don't know things like that and he would make
01:01:05
these comments in front of all of the guys that they hang out with um and then eventually he kind
01:01:11
started making them in front of me tour like to me directly so like for example one night we all
01:01:18
went out to a bar for one of their birthdays and uh my boyfriend and I are going to leave and
01:01:25
the guy comes up to me and you know like hugs me goodbye and he's like you know thank you so much
01:01:30
for actually letting him come out with us tonight and stuff like that I was like what's up oh dude
01:01:35
Like, I mean, and it's kind of one of those things where like I in any other like friendship, if someone were, you know, ragging on me like that, someone that I actually knew, I'd be like, OK, well, like, fuck off, whatever.
01:01:47
I don't care. But like it's kind of a situation where I don't know this person and it's like a new co-worker and I don't want to like jeopardize his friendships and things like that.
01:01:59
And I don't really know how to handle it, I guess, is my question here. oh my god i have so many thoughts i know let's just let's go down the line
01:02:06
no no no you guys go first well what is what does your boyfriend say when you guys talk about it
01:02:14
yeah so he's he's very non-confrontational like i would definitely say that i am uh the person to
01:02:20
be like fuck off he's kind of the person to just ignore it and not pay attention to it not really
01:02:25
like give it life i guess you could say so he's kind of the one that's just like oh haha
01:02:29
I hate that so much that makes me so angry yeah my husband's like that too me too because I'm definitely
01:02:36
confrontational I'm like yeah say something back I first prayed that motherfucker that's my first thought
01:02:40
no is he defending you at all um I mean I don't really know I haven't been in front of that
01:02:49
like I mean he didn't hear it whenever the guy said it to me personally so I so he laughs it off
01:02:55
because he because he's afraid like oh he's a professional connection and he'll laugh it off and he'll go back home.
01:03:00
You'll just kind of take it. But inside it, I'm sure it really hurts him and it hurts you.
01:03:04
It's completely disrespectful. I hate this guy. Right. I guess to me, like, cause whenever we've kind of talked about it one-on-one here,
01:03:12
he's just kind of like, well, if I don't feel like you're controlling or that I'm whipped or we have
01:03:18
something wrong in our relationship, then why does it matter what this random guy thinks, I guess, which I get,
01:03:24
but at the same time, it's just kind of like, I don't know what to say to this dude
01:03:28
and I wish that I could have something to like give my boyfriend that's non-confrontational to like
01:03:34
be like hey man maybe like gently fuck off kind of thing I don't know. No he has to say that
01:03:40
he has I would tell him to completely fuck off that's what I would say but I get it he has a job and it's his co-worker
01:03:46
Have you ever tried cupping his face in your hands and saying who hurt you? You could do something like that because it
01:03:56
really does sound like a person who is either jealous of you, like kind of into your boyfriend.
01:04:02
There's a lot of possibilities going on, but the idea that you would be actively trying to
01:04:07
like pick on someone because they have a relationship is, is very, uh, it, it doesn't,
01:04:13
it's not a good sign for you as a person, if that's something you feel the need to do.
01:04:17
And I feel like there's something to be revealed in that guy. And maybe your boyfriend gets the
01:04:22
sense that he's like one of those aggro dudes that he just doesn't want to like start anything with.
01:04:28
I bet this guy, the minute your boyfriend, and I want to say like, it bothers me that he's being
01:04:34
called a friend and your boyfriend doesn't want to fuck with the friend and you don't want to ruin
01:04:37
his friendship. That guy's not a friend. And the minute I bet your boyfriend who absolutely should
01:04:42
say something to him says something, this kid will fucking start crying. Like, I bet he's so fragile.
01:04:48
I don't think his feelings should be taken into consideration. Don't we think that, like, somebody's, like, don't you think that he loves her or, like, lusts after her?
01:04:58
Or, like, is... Either her or him. Yeah. There's something... But I think her. There's jealousy.
01:05:03
I think it's Katie. Like, I think that the dude is, like, lusting after Katie. No, I don't agree with any of you guys.
01:05:12
I really think that this guy is just an asshole. Sim, I'm very fun and attractive, so...
01:05:16
Thank you, Katie. I totally feel that from you. I can hear it in your voice. Sorry, Katie.
01:05:21
I feel like the minute, though, you put like this romantic spin on it and oh, he's listening.
01:05:26
Like then it's like he deserves some kind of kindness, which if he is in love with you and lusting after you.
01:05:32
Well, that's his fucking problem. And he's showing it the wrong way. And that's just this this whole thing.
01:05:38
I feel like there needs to be a way to explain to your boyfriend how much this affects you.
01:05:44
And the minute he needs to know that you're the person he should be defending, not this fucking douchebag.
01:05:50
Yeah. That would bother me a lot. Also that kind of that young dude thing of like oh you whipped or you go home and eat eat dinner together Therefore that a bad thing It indicative of a mindset that isn healthy and isn good
01:06:06
Like that, those are those kinds of guys who are like, women do this to men or whatever. And he's
01:06:11
so comfortable saying it and quote unquote, joking about it. That that's, that's another thing that,
01:06:17
that I don't know. I, when I'm, anytime I'm around guys that are like that word, I just,
01:06:22
I'm like, I just want to get away from that person. Like maybe that's not to defend the boyfriend so
01:06:27
much, but maybe he's just getting a sense of like, this isn't one of those guys you want to get on
01:06:32
the bad side of. And so it's putting him in this weird position. I was with a guy a long time ago
01:06:39
in my early twenties and his best friend told him, he's like, Oh, you're so pussy whipped.
01:06:45
And then the dude told me that, that the best friend said that. And I had such complicated feelings because it was like, well, what are you trying to get out of me that you would tell me that?
01:06:57
And also, what the fuck is this, dude? Maybe you, I don't know. It's, it's, you're right, Karen, though.
01:07:04
It's that way of communicating that feels really youthful. Yeah. That, that, and also, and manipulative and, and weird and filled with envy.
01:07:13
Yeah, like envy and angry. Yeah, because it's also that thing of like, oh, I'm joking.
01:07:18
I'm joking. I'm hiding behind a joke. But you're taking it too seriously. But you're actually just sending a real message, which is let him do what he wants and fuck off.
01:07:28
Katie, I hate to say it, but and I don't mean to like, I don't want to diminish your relationship at all,
01:07:34
because maybe you're so crazy about your boyfriend that you want to marry him and be with him forever or whatever.
01:07:39
But I do, I think that the fact that there's a little bit of a bro before ho culture happening here.
01:07:48
Can I say something? And that's not safe for you. Something I noticed too, like way in the beginning that might be connected is when you said that he moved here for you and you would feel bad if he wasn't happy here.
01:08:00
And so you don't want to get in the way. it's not your responsibility to make sure that a decision he made is then, you know, it's not on
01:08:08
you for him to be happy. So you being annoyed that this person he works with, who's not even his
01:08:13
friend, like gets upset with him, isn't your responsibility in the same way that him finding
01:08:18
a life and being happy here after he made a decision to move here, it's not your responsibility
01:08:22
either, which is a hard thing to, I can't deal with that at all. I'm learning it in therapy,
01:08:25
but like, it's just, none of that is your responsibility. You, you have yourself to
01:08:30
worry about. Yeah. Yeah. We have to start thinking a little bit more individually, like, like
01:08:37
collectively as women. And I was going to say a little more like men, but that also feels,
01:08:43
that feels like we're handing over power there. But I think in general, don't you guys think that
01:08:49
like we, like it's important to impart on, cause for years I would think about just how my identity
01:08:56
through men. And, um, and I think it's important to sort of explore the idea of like, let's
01:09:03
not, let's not fucking do that anymore. Let's like, let's think about ourselves. Let's be
01:09:08
selfish. You know, as my mom always said, be selfish in love. It's not even selfish.
01:09:14
It's just like, but, but it's self care. Yeah. But selfish is a good word for it.
01:09:20
Well, but, but cause I think we have to redefine everything like as a gender. Yeah. I also
01:09:26
wonder if you've discussed it in this way, if you had this group of girlfriends that you were going
01:09:32
out with and there was one that was giving him shit about hanging around and like, why don't you
01:09:37
leave her alone? And how would he feel if it was going back the other way? And not even, not even
01:09:43
like a demand of answer me right now, but think of what this would be like if this exact situation
01:09:48
was flipped and it was happening to you. Just put yourself in my shoes. Cause I also think there's
01:09:53
that thing of, you know, they say that like when there's a problem, guys freak out and they want
01:09:57
to fix it. They don't, you know, they just, it's like, he doesn't know how to fix it and it's a
01:10:01
work thing and it's like very problematic. So his, his solution is just don't let this be a problem
01:10:06
to you. But really, I think what he needs to think about is, is you, like we're saying, and how it
01:10:12
affects you and how would it feel to him if there was somebody kind of letting him know that he
01:10:18
wasn't welcome and that he's a bummer but you know that right that like your friends think he's a
01:10:23
bummer that's so shitty yeah yeah um yeah I mean I feel like I um I definitely know how that
01:10:32
situation would go because like I said I I don't care about telling people to fuck off or whatever
01:10:36
um but I haven't really presented the idea to him like that like reverse like said to him
01:10:42
specifically you know if this were happening to you I would have your back kind of thing yeah
01:10:47
So, yeah, that might be an interesting perspective. It'll be a revealing test with your boyfriend a little bit,
01:10:55
like how he sort of absorbs, if you can be honest with him about all of this and really have a long conversation about it.
01:11:04
It'll be a revealing test for how he respects you, you respect yourself, and you respect the relationship.
01:11:13
um yeah because there's like the first thing I was thinking of is the fear that this guy is
01:11:21
voicing something that your boyfriend might not be able to say and that I think might be where the
01:11:26
pain is coming from and so it'd be like if this guy stops talking then that means that whole
01:11:31
idea is gone but really that fear is just like is this actually an issue here is this you know
01:11:38
do you need is it are you unable to talk about that you want to spend less time together
01:11:42
So it's now we're introducing somebody that's introducing the ideas so that he's not a part of it.
01:11:48
And I obviously don't know you and don't know anything about it. But that's I always think about that when I in relationships focus on things that later on I realize I was just focusing on something else again.
01:12:00
Cause I didn't want to like put my hands on what the real problem was. Yeah, no, I mean, I've never really considered that, but that would make a lot of sense.
01:12:09
I also have like a lot of, um, like I really try very hard not to be, uh, like controlling
01:12:18
in any way or anything like that. I mean, I don't feel like I really am anyway, but I do make it a point.
01:12:23
Um, just because like his last girlfriend was kind of like just fucking nuts and would
01:12:28
like, like not even let him hang out with guys alone or anything like that, like would have to
01:12:33
just be present, like with him all the time if he was going to be doing anything social.
01:12:38
Just remember that that's, that's what he presented to you. Like if you talked to her
01:12:42
and heard her side of the story, that might not be true. And like, you don't have to be the chill
01:12:47
girl. Like, I feel like we all try so hard to be like, I don't care. I'm so fucking chill.
01:12:51
And you're allowed to have your emotions. And one of those emotions sometimes is piss the fuck off.
01:12:55
Watch a ton of porn. Yeah, I love porn. Oh, no, I'm definitely crazy. Like, I'm definitely a crazy girl also, and he knows that full on.
01:13:02
But then sometimes it's also, like, I think a good way to approach an issue that you have
01:13:07
instead of, you know, being pissed off is to go, my feelings are really hurt by this thing, and here's why.
01:13:12
And someone can't get, I feel like if someone gets mad at you for saying, I have really hurt feelings, and this makes me really sad,
01:13:19
and they get mad at you for it, that's not on you. Yeah, and Katie, you know, yeah, don't be afraid of the future.
01:13:25
You're young. You're in LA. There's a lot of amazing people out there. Don't feel afraid to
01:13:32
feel your independence if things aren't right. I made that mistake, I think, a little bit,
01:13:39
feeling like I'm checking my relationship off the list. And if that would be the final advice that
01:13:47
I could give you would be know your worth know your independence know that you young And And there so many people out there There so much life experience I hope you get to live it all and experience a whole lot of people
01:14:05
And life is too short for you to be in relationships where you're not feeling like this isn't fully right
01:14:14
or somebody doesn't have your back or somebody doesn't value you in every way. Because I view this as a bigger problem
01:14:19
with you and your boyfriend than anything else. And so please take that and hopefully, I don't know.
01:14:33
Katie, are you good with this advice? Yeah, I guess. I mean, do you know what I'm saying though?
01:14:39
Like have intimate conversations. I also just was curious, like I don't know how to,
01:14:44
if this guy, the coworker were to say something to me again in person, And I guess I'm just confused about how to.
01:14:50
What did he say to you in person? He was like, oh, thanks so much for letting like your boyfriend come out tonight.
01:14:57
And your boyfriend didn't say anything to him. He didn't hear him. He literally said it like in my ear as he was hugging me.
01:15:03
It sounds like he's hitting on you. But it also sounds like if your boyfriend doesn't understand, like, like if you can't be honest with him and have a good.
01:15:12
Because listen, like shit tons of people are going to hit on you, Katie. We live in fucking L.A.
01:15:17
it's going to happen all the time but the bigger thing in my opinion is the relationship with your boyfriend
01:15:24
and if he isn't fully empathetic then that's something that you that's on you then
01:15:32
you need to examine do I want to spend time do I want to invest time in this relationship
01:15:38
and a knee to the nuts in the meantime is a great fucking way to shut someone up
01:15:42
you know what I'm saying but I hope that you know that like like the coworker truly aside yeah he's a creep and he wants to fuck you and but there's
01:15:53
going to be a gazillion of those experiences that you have throughout the years here So I just think that the bigger question is the relationship with your boyfriend
01:16:05
And that's my very strong opinion. And I'm very unqualified to do any of this. Katie, thank you so much for hanging out with us tonight.
01:16:14
Yeah, Katie, will you give us an update? Thank you so much. Stay sexy, don't get murdered, and fuck you, Sim.
01:16:19
Hey, fuck you, Sim. All right, thanks. Stay sexy. Bye, guys. Bye. All right. That's going to end part one.
01:16:27
So next week, we have part two where Ana will start off with your favorite murder.
01:16:32
And then, Georgia, we have yours. We have one more call. And then let's take a little break.
01:16:37
We'll be right back. Or next week. All right. We're back. I think that was pretty good advice.
01:16:45
Me too. Very balanced. Very fair. Yep. Okay. So this episode was originally titled The MFM and Unqualified with Anna Faris Crossover Part One.
01:16:55
So what we would call it today, I want to say, and I think this says a lot about where we were and where we thought we were, we would actually call it the My Favorite Murder and Unqualified with Anna Faris Crossover.
01:17:05
But I think we like dumbed ourselves down a little and like, oh, we're just we're MFM.
01:17:09
Let's just go over here. Oh, you would put every single word and the spaces and not.
01:17:13
You know what I mean? Sure. Give ourselves credit instead of just being like, but whatever.
01:17:17
Okay. Or if we were naming it today. Or the Creepiest Natural History Museum, because basically that's what she said she wanted her house to feel like.
01:17:25
That's right. Or Most Efficient Way to Podcast, which is what we were doing. Yeah, her joke. Or Last People You Should Be Asking, which was my joke about her asking us questions about anything legal or judicial whatsoever.
01:17:38
Please don't do that. And look, that was this week's Rewind. We did it. We'll see you next week for the thrilling conclusion of the My Favorite Murder.
01:17:47
Yeah, there you go. Slash Anna Faris is unqualified crossover. Stay sexy. And don get murdered Goodbye Elvis do you want a cookie Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile The message for everyone paying big wireless way too much
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