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And they're built right here in the USA with U.S. and Global Parts. My favorite murder
00:02:27
but there's a follow-up. Great. And it says, My Family Murder, with music notes.
00:02:33
So I think it's like our theme song, but my family murder. Oh, no. But it's bad.
00:02:37
Okay. Don't sing that song. I know. Yeah. Hello, everyone, all animals included.
00:02:42
I've wanted to write this since the beginning of the podcast, and I finally think it's time.
00:02:46
This will be a bit long, but there are some twists and turns, and I promise it's worth it.
00:02:50
My mother was one of seven children. Five of them have since passed, all in various horrible ways.
00:02:56
but the most unfortunate is my aunt that was murdered. My mother and my aunt were less than a year apart
00:03:02
and understandably very close. They were like twins sharing their clothes and friends
00:03:06
and did literally everything together. After my aunt graduated high school, she worked at a local Wendy's
00:03:11
saving up for a trip with friends to Daytona Beach, Florida. Before she left, she received a special occasion dress for her 18th birthday
00:03:19
that was meant to be for her bridal shower since she was in a long-term relationship
00:03:23
and had planned on getting married very soon. My aunt went to the beach with a group of seven or so others, a mix of both guys and girls.
00:03:30
The very first night they were there, everyone was playing cards and hanging out, staying up late like teens do.
00:03:36
My aunt and a friend left the room to get ice, and they saw a man down the hall who seemed to be trying to get into his hotel room.
00:03:42
When they tried to continue down the hall past him, he suddenly turned around and pulled a gun on them and demanded they take him back to their room.
00:03:50
Once in the room, he seemed unsure of what to do as he wasn't expecting so many people to be in there.
00:03:56
He sat down and was twirling his gun around his finger while smoking, telling them he does this quite often and it's how he makes his living.
00:04:04
Equals he's never done this before and he's shitting a brick. Right. When they offered to give him all of the money they had so he would leave, he refused.
00:04:12
Instead, he demanded they all undress and lock them out on the balcony. One of their guy friends had been lying on a beach chair on the balcony and was asleep,
00:04:20
so they covered him with a towel so he wouldn't be noticed. They woke their sleeping friend and he climbed down to the balcony below and ran to get help.
00:04:27
However, help didn't make it back in time. The man singled out one girl who he demanded he take with him.
00:04:34
Terrified, she started crying and begging, and my aunt spoke up and offered to go in her place.
00:04:39
No. The man left with my aunt, leaving his cigarette butt in the ashtray in the room.
00:04:45
The next day, my aunt was found naked in a ditch. She had been raped and shot in the head.
00:04:50
My mom's sweater wrapped around her head. Being so close, my mom had to be the one to tell the police where her birthmarks were
00:04:57
in order to identify her over the phone when my grandparents initially received the call.
00:05:02
How fucking devastating. My grandparents had to deal with reporters knocking on their door for months,
00:05:07
and my mom suffered PTSD as she was constantly receiving menacing phone calls threatening her.
00:05:13
So much so that the police put my mom on an official curfew and would escort her home from high school.
00:05:19
My aunt was buried in the dress she had received just a few weeks prior for her birthday.
00:05:24
Recently, my grandmother passed, so it's just my mom and her brother left out of the family of nine.
00:05:29
My mom recently reached out to a nonprofit organization who specializes in cold cases.
00:05:34
We are currently being assigned a detective who is responsible for my aunt's case and will work with him to try to solve it.
00:05:40
My mom is hoping we can finally test the rape kit and cigarette butt that was left behind to get some closure.
00:05:46
Update. Since having this email in my draft for literal months, things have come to light.
00:05:51
There is a palm print that was never fucking tested that they are going to run All caps why has this not happened yet And then it says time and that palm print will tell who killed her My aunt was a monumental badass and showed bravery in a situation that would cause most
00:06:06
people to panic. Needless to say, I was raised with a healthy fear of strangers and to absolutely fuck politeness.
00:06:13
Stay sexy and if you do get murdered, hopefully it was at least to save the life of a friend
00:06:17
or a loved one. Blair. And then Allison found this. It's an update from the Project Cold Case website.
00:06:25
On January 25th, 2024, the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office made the following announcement.
00:06:31
Basically, in 2017, Carol's case was revisited and reopened by members of the JSO Cold Case Unit.
00:06:36
And in 2020, a person of interest had been formulated. Billy Mansfield Jr., a white male 65, was ultimately identified as the suspect in Carol Barrett's murder.
00:06:47
Mansfield would have been 24 at the time of Carol's murder. In September of 2022, after multiple interviews spanning two years,
00:06:54
Billy Mansfield advised that he was, in fact, the suspect in the police sketch completed following the abduction.
00:07:00
He went on to confess to the abduction from the Daytona Beach Shores Hotel, as well as to her murder shortly thereafter.
00:07:06
Billy Mansfield will remain in prison in California on one life sentence for murder,
00:07:09
as well as four concurrent life sentences in Florida for murder in separate cases.
00:07:15
And that's that's the end of it. That's the update. so that essentially they caught a serial killer yeah and when she wrote in they hadn't fucking
00:07:23
solved it yet i don't think in 10 years of doing this true crime show i have ever heard or either
00:07:29
of us have ever told each other a story about somebody being like i'll go in for her what an
00:07:36
unbelievable move that was brave and so brave god yeah okay well then here's an old story
00:07:45
Kind of an update, but more of a I was there too, I guess. Oh my God, what is it?
00:07:51
Hometown story. We were students at Sarah Lawrence at the same time as Larry Ray's victims.
00:07:56
Remember my Sarah Lawrence dorm dad story? It just starts off, hi. Happy to write into you two as the unknowing fourth and fifth members of our little girl squad.
00:08:08
My two best friends and I all went to Sarah Lawrence College, recently known for the insane Larry Ray sex cult situation.
00:08:16
We all listened to your episode on Larry Ray, and to be honest, it was a rough listen.
00:08:20
We're OG murderinos, but we didn't know much about the true crime nightmare happening under our noses.
00:08:26
That's crazy. They didn't know. Okay, here's the thing. It wasn't until listening to your episode
00:08:31
and subsequently watching the new documentary on the story that we realized we were freshmen on campus
00:08:37
at the same time that Larry Ray was formalizing his control over other Sarah Lawrence students at that apartment in NYC.
00:08:45
So they were freshmen. We actually even knew Ezra Marcus, the journalist who broke the story that ultimately led to Ray's indictment.
00:08:53
He was a student, too, one year ahead of us. Oh, and one of us even lived in Slonham Woods 9,
00:08:59
the exact dorm where it all started, during our senior year at the college. That dorm had some seriously weird energy.
00:09:06
It's all caps WILD to us that we spent so much time there not knowing what happened in that exact spot a couple years prior.
00:09:13
If any of our parents had known that as we were accepting our offers and committing to Sarah Lawrence,
00:09:20
there was a 50-year-old man living in the dorms, culting it up, none of us would have ended up at that school.
00:09:27
Thank goodness we didn't know about that batshit mess because college was great.
00:09:32
We got a pretty solid education, and my two best friends and I are now all successful professionals with pets living in L.A.
00:09:39
Nice. We are sitting on my couch right now eating cookies, watching the documentary on Larry Ray, freaking out that we were in classes with these kids.
00:09:48
They went through an absolute horror show while we wrote research papers. How did we not know about this insanity at such a tiny college?
00:09:56
It's hard to call your dad when you're in a cult if your dad or your friend's dad is leading the cult.
00:10:01
Truer words were never said. But anyway, big SSDGM love from your Sarah Lawrence College Murderinos, XOXO, Ryan, Zoe, and Hannah.
00:10:10
And in parentheses, it says, use our names. We will be so excited. Let's bleep their names.
00:10:17
Yeah, they had like a parallel sliding door life where it's like we're doing the regular Sarah Lawrence College experience.
00:10:24
And just over there. Because you think you'd notice those things. Like we all think we'd be perceptive.
00:10:29
It has to be like something where it's going on that she wouldn't know. It's like, I don't know, something about that girl's dad living in the dorms is giving me a weird feeling.
00:10:38
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Learn more at brex.com slash AF. Okay, I'm not going to read you. I'm not going to read you the title of this, but we need to get more flight attendants to write us in with their wildest stories.
00:13:05
Hell yes. Right? Yes, please. Here it goes. Welcome aboard. I'm just going to cut straight in on this.
00:13:11
I am a U.S.-based flight attendant. I have been for about five years. Get us started at parties and we have stories upon stories.
00:13:19
Myfavoritemurder at gmail.com. Please. Please. Send them. I actually have a weed story for you.
00:13:25
It was January 2017 and our day had started at 4.30 a.m. in a cold and snowy Boston.
00:13:32
We worked three flights that day and were in Atlanta with one more to go. We were going from Atlanta to Fort Lauderdale where we were supposed to have a 21-hour layover.
00:13:42
An exciting thing to have, a beach layover in the middle of January when you live in Massachusetts.
00:13:47
We boarded the airplane like normal. I told 200 people how to fasten their seatbelt, not to stow their jackets in the overhead bin so we could fit as many rollerboards on this aircraft as possible,
00:13:56
and smiled and smiled while people figured out where they were sitting. A passenger came to me in the back galley and asked for some water.
00:14:03
Happily, I nodded and reached into the containers, pouring her a glass of water.
00:14:07
She made a comment about not feeling well, but was hoping the Tylenol would make her feel better.
00:14:12
I handed her some cookies saying, maybe this will help calm your stomach too. Let us know if you need anything else.
00:14:17
And continued back to the aisle to start closing bins. Finally, all the passengers were on board and seated and the forward boarding door was closed.
00:14:25
We armed our doors, played the safety demo and started to do our final cabin walkthrough.
00:14:30
Just as the airplane started to push back, we suddenly stopped. The pilots came over the intercom.
00:14:35
There was some sort of mechanical issue. and we would need to go back to the gate to fix it.
00:14:40
We pulled back, and the waiting game began. After about 20 minutes, the maintenance team had fixed the issue,
00:14:45
and we were pushing back again. This time, the gal who had asked for the glass of water stood up
00:14:50
and said she wasn't feeling good. I motioned for her to head to the bathroom while I walked to the phone to tell the pilots not to taxi.
00:14:57
We waited for the girl for about 20 minutes, continuing to check on her. No, the whole plane's waiting for you.
00:15:04
She said it was something she ate. Mind you, the whole plane was waiting on her.
00:15:08
I'm so sorry. But oh my God. Are you so angry? Like, what do you think? I mean, the tension of just like, so are you about to tell me that she's starting food poisoning and the entire plane is just sitting there waiting for her to be done?
00:15:20
Let's see. With some sort of a Giardia situation? She's got food poisoning. While we were waiting for her, another passenger stood up and asked if he could go to the bathroom.
00:15:30
We nodded, saying, make it quick, hoping the two passengers in the bathroom would wrap it up and we'd be on our way to being able to drink Mai Tais by 3 p.m.
00:15:38
Well, after about five minutes, neither one of the passengers was coming out. We waited and my coworker in the back suddenly said, do you smell that?
00:15:46
I took a sniff and stood up saying, yes, I do. That's right. The man who got up while the girl was sick in the bathroom had started smoking weed on the plane.
00:15:56
I totally forgot that was at the beginning. This was 2017, so sadly it had become a thing.
00:16:04
We had to call the pilots and get authorities involved. We knocked on the door asking him to come out so we could talk to him.
00:16:09
We needed to tell him to stop and all those other things. Concurrently, the other bathroom door opened and the sick girl came out.
00:16:17
I was walking the weed-smoking gentleman to the forward boarding door so the authorities could take him.
00:16:21
Why would you fucking do that? It's like saying I would love federal charges for my pot problem.
00:16:28
I have zero chill, even though I'm a stoner. Do you know that that actually happened to us right before the plane took off?
00:16:33
Some guy went and did a pot jewel in the bathroom and then they were just like, just go sit down.
00:16:39
Like they basically let him do it because they were like, we just want to take off.
00:16:42
Yeah. I mean, I wonder if it's just weed or if it's a vape, if it makes a difference.
00:16:47
It's like you're not supposed to do it. It's illegal either way. But I think they were just like, go sit down.
00:16:51
Yeah, Jesus Christ. I was walking the weed smoking gentleman to the forward boarding door so the authorities could take him when the sick girl tapped my shoulder.
00:16:59
I turned around to talk to her and she turned as white as a sheet. And then she proceeded to, all caps, vomit all over my uniform.
00:17:08
It took everything in me to stay calm, cool, and collected in front of those 250 passengers
00:17:13
when I wanted to flip the motherfucking out because vomit and pantyhose do not mix.
00:17:20
I guess like soaking vomit. I don't want to think about it. I mean, what doesn't, what does mix with vomit?
00:17:28
What are we looking for here? Like your bra. The bra sounds pretty fucking bad. Grammar school cat litter.
00:17:33
I remember that. That's right. After all those events within the same hour and a half and a quick change for me, we were
00:17:39
finally cleared to depart Atlanta. The smell. The smell. To try to leave for the third time.
00:17:45
Well, somehow we had some kind of divine intervention. The date of this flight was January 6, 2017.
00:17:52
I not sure if you remember but that was the day of the Fort Lauderdale airport shooting Had our plane taken off at its original scheduled time we would have been in the airport at the time of the shooting Somehow by some miracle I had a passenger who tried to smoke weed in the airplane bathroom
00:18:09
and another who felt the need to vomit on me. It was one of the more stressful boardings I have
00:18:14
ever experienced, so much so I can remember it almost clearly. But in a lot of ways,
00:18:18
I'm grateful for those two punks who delayed 254 people. It was because of them we weren't
00:18:24
in the crosshairs of a tragic event. I need to say, on behalf of the woman who, it sounds like, had food poisoning,
00:18:31
you can't act like she's the same as the guy that went and smoked pot. No. She's a victim of tiny bacteria.
00:18:40
But could she, like, aim? Could she have better aim? It sounds like no. Yeah, I can't imagine that was her first choice.
00:18:46
Yeah, because also, I feel like if you're in a situation where your face turns white all of a sudden,
00:18:52
things are happening out of your control. Just want to defend that person. No, I think you're right.
00:18:58
She needs to write it. And I want to hear her side of the story. Yeah, we want to hear her in detail.
00:19:02
And we want to hear what the pantyhose thing is. Also, I bet she got sick from eating fucking airplane food.
00:19:07
So it's not even on her. I still get chills when I think about the story. To all my flight attendant brothers and sisters, my heart is with you.
00:19:14
I am one of the few lucky ones who still has her job and cannot comprehend having my wings clipped.
00:19:19
The job is more than a job. It truly is a lifestyle. I miss my passengers. Sundays in Paris, and spending time in airports.
00:19:27
I love my job and I'm so proud to get my passengers from point A to point B safely.
00:19:33
And to all the MFM crew, thank you for all you do. You've kept me sane through all the turbulence my job brings into my life.
00:19:41
SSDGM, Tatiana, or as my wings with my not real name say, Susan. Because let's be real, passengers don't need to know my name.
00:19:51
Hell no, they don't. The comments that you'd get from Tatiana would be so fucking obnoxious from businessmen.
00:19:56
Oh, Tatiana. Like, it would be so obnoxious. You just don't even need it that close.
00:20:00
Well, Susan. I'm Susan. I'm fucking Susan. That's all you need to know is I'm Susan.
00:20:05
And I'm wearing pantyhose. I'm the one wearing pantyhose today. Oh, my God. Well, I love that, Susan.
00:20:12
You did a great job. You did. Thank you kindly. Okay. It says glitch in the matrix and Mexican sinkhole.
00:20:18
Greetings and salutations from Spain. English is not my first language, so please bear with me.
00:20:24
Already written so beautifully and in a way that I could never do in another language.
00:20:29
I think at this point we're past specific hometown requests and any story is in.
00:20:34
Anyway, I wanted to tell you about this crazy thing that happened to my uncle a few years ago.
00:20:39
For context, my uncle, for context, they can write for context in another language.
00:20:44
Totally. My uncle is a professional diving instructor who lives in the Mexican Mayan Riviera, Cancun, Playa del Carmen, and Tulum.
00:20:52
In case you don't know, this whole area has an underground river system that's approximately 95 miles long.
00:20:59
This causes sinkholes to appear all over the territory that are basically entrances to the river system called cenotes.
00:21:06
My uncle is specialized in exploring them. When someone finds one of these in their property, they call him to go into it to see if it connects with the river system or if it can be turned into a tourist attraction like many in the area are.
00:21:19
Have you ever seen those cenotes? No. It's a perfectly kind of blue circle, like a light blue, gorgeous circle.
00:21:27
Like lagoon kind of thing? Yes. But it's like a swimming hole that's this beautiful color.
00:21:32
Wow. And it usually looks very tropical and jungly kind of around it. Yeah. And then there's just a bunch of people in there.
00:21:38
Sometimes the water's warm because it's from— It's like a free swimming pool. Yeah.
00:21:42
In your own backyard. Uh-huh. With some cave systems sometimes attached. Shit, that's terrifying.
00:21:47
Okay. This means he has to climb into a dark hole in the ground and repel inside it until he reaches the water, all while wearing full diving gear, tanks, et cetera.
00:21:57
Why? I really don't know. But he's very passionate about it. What a rad job. Yeah.
00:22:03
Like, if you don't want to go to college, that's okay. There's rad jobs out there for you.
00:22:07
podcasting, for example. Podcasting works great. If you're brave like us, you can either podcast
00:22:12
or dive into cenotes. That's right. To see if they're connected to the underground river.
00:22:17
Both are treacherous. Both are similar and both require oxygen. Back in 2012, my uncle was mourning the loss of his youngest daughter, my cousin, who had tragically passed
00:22:27
away from cancer at age 13 a few months before. That's horrible. One day he received a call to go
00:22:33
explore a cenote on a plot of land that was in the middle of nowhere, miles away from the city
00:22:38
of Merida or any kind of civilization. He and his colleague packed up their equipment and went on
00:22:43
their way. It took them hours to find the exact location as it was literally in the middle of the
00:22:48
jungle. Everything was going according to plan. They went into the thing, confirmed it connected
00:22:54
with a river system and set up a line, which is a thin rope that divers use to mark the correct way
00:22:59
to go in cave systems. Again, why anyone would enjoy this is beyond me, but there are a lot of people that like to go through this.
00:23:07
To go through this. To put themselves through this. Truly. There's so many couches to be sat on.
00:23:14
I know. It's so much content to be eaten up. Right. As they were done, they began pulling themselves
00:23:21
and their equipment up to the surface when my uncle started to feel unwell. He experienced chest pain.
00:23:27
His heart was pounding. He was dizzy. Yes, he was having a heart attack. His colleague managed to pull him up to the surface and realized there was no cell phone reception where they were.
00:23:36
As my uncle laid down thinking that this was it and his colleague experienced a panic attack,
00:23:41
out of nowhere, they both see an ambulance with the siren full on rushing toward them.
00:23:48
What was an ambulance doing in the middle of the Mayan jungle? Turns out the paramedics assigned to the ambulance were on their lunch break.
00:23:55
As the day was particularly slow, one of them decided to show his partner a sink
00:24:00
where his dad used to take him when he was a kid. Yes, it was the same sinkhole my uncle had been exploring.
00:24:06
As these two paramedics were chatting and eating lunch, they noticed my uncle's friend freaking out and rushed to help,
00:24:12
which basically saved my uncle's life. If the paramedics had not been there at that exact time,
00:24:17
he would not have made it. To this day, my uncle is convinced that my cousin sent them to save his life,
00:24:23
and honestly, I can't argue with that. What are the chances? Thank you for bringing absolute joy into my life twice every week.
00:24:33
SSDGM Zoe. Oh, my God, Zoe. That is so sweet. I mean, the idea that you'd be having a heart attack in the middle of the jungle and it's like, oh, we're here, too.
00:24:44
Like a literal ambulance. So good. That's incredible. Yeah. Protect your pet with insurance from PetsBest.
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It's time to get Brex AF. Learn more at brex.com slash AF. Okay, my last one's called,
00:26:55
he wasn't my brother when I married him. Whoa. Hey there, it's me. Oh, hi. Hey, what's going on?
00:27:03
I'm scrubbing the bathroom while listening to Minisode 418 when I heard you ask for family wedding drama
00:27:09
and immediately had to drop the scrub brush and grab my laptop. Hell yeah. My first marriage is the stuff of legends among my friends.
00:27:17
I'm in my early 20s and marry my high school sweetheart. Ah, young, dumb love. Wedding plans had been made and the invitations had gone out
00:27:26
when my fiance and I discovered that my mom, the church choir director, was having an affair with his dad,
00:27:34
a member of the church choir Well fuck Literally As you can imagine what ensued was an epic fight between the parents all of whom started insisting they wouldn go to our wedding if so was there
00:27:47
So it's both sets of parents. One is cheating and one is being cheated on. Jesus, it's the entire family. Everybody's involved.
00:27:56
It's fucked up. Great. I decided the solution was to call off the wedding entirely and just
00:28:01
get married quietly by ourselves. Yeah. Now, my family is no, you sounded so sad for someone who
00:28:07
had a huge wedding that you didn't want. Well, the work, I know that the work put into it,
00:28:12
even if they just started thinking about it, it's so much work. Yeah. And then also,
00:28:17
this is the kind of thing where it's like, when people make selfish decisions like that,
00:28:21
where it's like, and the ripple effect is now your daughter isn't going to, or son,
00:28:25
whoever it is, isn't going to have their wedding. Totally. Because you had to kind of like, hey,
00:28:30
things are so sexy up here in the choir loft. Like, get it together. I love the way he sings about Jesus.
00:28:36
It just turns me on. His big crucifix is the hottest thing I've ever seen. Okay.
00:28:42
Okay. Now, my family is nosy, and there was absolutely no way to pull this off without answering some awkward questions.
00:28:49
So since my mom started this shit show, I figured I'd let her deal with it. Yes, that's right.
00:28:53
That's right. What was her solution to the dilemma? Tell my entire family that my fiance got cold feet
00:28:59
and called off the wedding. Ooh. Mom. Narcissist. Toxic narcissist. Yeah, that's fucked up.
00:29:05
I'm not vindictive by nature, says the next line. Uh-oh. But that right there is some class A bullshit.
00:29:11
What followed was a carefully worded letter by yours truly to my entire family explaining the truth,
00:29:17
i.e. my mom was busy banging my future father-in-law. High road? No. Satisfying?
00:29:24
Hell yes. I mean, because also it's like nothing had to happen. No, no, no. You could have just like
00:29:30
made this quiet and chill and not tell anybody anything, but still handled it. And instead you're like,
00:29:36
he left her at the altar. That's dark. That's fucked up. My mom got the last laugh in the end.
00:29:41
A year later, our parents divorced and she married my father-in-law. You guessed it.
00:29:47
This means my husband was now my stepbrother. My aforementioned asshole friends found this so funny.
00:29:55
They made me a t-shirt to commemorate the event, which says, quote, he wasn't my brother when I married him.
00:30:00
Oh, shit. On a side note, my sister apparently felt left out and ended up marrying my husband's cousin.
00:30:09
Honestly, you can't make this shit up. For real. I guess the message is stay sexy and don't marry your brother.
00:30:15
M. M. How small of a town do you live in? Truly. Or how big of a family do you have?
00:30:22
It's just like a backwards Hallmark movie. You know what I mean? It's time for that.
00:30:26
Yeah, I'll be siblings for Christmas or something. Yes, get some weird incest vibe going in there.
00:30:33
Give people something to talk about, Hallmark Channel. All right. Speaking of which, the subject line of this email is badass granny and mountains of treasure cocaine.
00:30:42
Ooh. Hello, ladies, MFM team, and pets. I just listened to your mini-sode featuring a beach treasure story and realized I've been sitting on one that hits so many of your favorite elements.
00:30:52
A badass grandmother with an epic grandma name. Treasure found on the beach. Sorry, I hate when I do that.
00:30:59
And a pet hero. I've done my best to include all the names for your enjoyment. So here we go.
00:31:05
Back in the early 90s, my grandmother, Hesterly. Stop it. Bring it back. I've never heard that name before.
00:31:14
That's a witch. Well I heard of Hester Prynne Yeah But Hesterly is like a How are you feeling today Oh a little Hesterly I kind of Hesterly today So my grandmother Hesterly used to spend her winters in Florida like so many New Englanders
00:31:29
tired of scraping ice off their windshields. Granny was a huge animal lover, and since transporting her full menagerie commercially
00:31:36
was a nightmare, she'd load up her RV and drive south with a large Doberman, two chihuahuas,
00:31:42
an African gray parrot. Oh my God. A canary and a betta fish named Machiavelli. That sounds amazing, but the smell was just...
00:31:49
I mean. And the noise. Because you know she smoked probably too. I hope so. Cigars.
00:31:56
While in Florida, she walked a Doberman named Raven every morning between 5 and 6 a.m.
00:32:01
She'd stroll five miles along the beach, collecting little treasures along the way to place in a bowl on her coffee table.
00:32:08
Grandma's in Florida. They can't help it. Her favorites were skate egg cases, also known as mermaid purses.
00:32:15
But one morning, she found something very different. On this particular day, Granny left even earlier than usual.
00:32:22
About halfway through her walk, she came across a wooden pallet, roughly four by four feet, loaded with what looked like shrink-wrapped bricks.
00:32:30
As she got closer, she realized she'd found, in her words, a metric fuckton of cocaine.
00:32:36
Oh, my God. She knew drug drops were common in the area, neutrally buoyant packages with GPS trackers tossed offshore, later retrieved by other nefarious parties.
00:32:46
But this one clearly hadn't been picked up. And she also knew enough to recognize that whoever lost that much cocaine was not going to be happy.
00:32:54
Yeah, you walk the fuck away. Yeah. Well, always cautious, especially as a woman who traveled solo, Granny had one of those early brick-style cell phones tucked into her fanny pack.
00:33:04
Oh, my God. She called 911. The dispatcher asked a lot of questions, and it quickly became clear it wasn't safe for a petite woman in her mid-60s to sit alone on the beach next to a mountain of cartel-grade drugs.
00:33:17
They asked if anyone was with her. She said, well, I've got my dog. When they learned Raven was a Doberman, they immediately changed their tune and asked her to stay put and guard the drugs.
00:33:27
Oh my God, no! She tried to explain that Raven was in fact a total softie who just looked intimidating, but they insisted.
00:33:34
So there she stood scanning the beach nervously, expecting armed drug dealers to emerge at any moment.
00:33:40
Ma'am, like... Can she go sit up in the tree line and not be... No one's dying. Yeah.
00:33:46
Just let her do a couple lines and then you can walk down the beach. At least give her some drugs.
00:33:51
Walk away. Thankfully, within 10 minutes, a helicopter hovered above. Whoa. And police officers swarmed in from every beach entrance and down the shore on ATVs.
00:34:00
She gave her statement and was even contacted later by the local newspaper for an interview, but she declined, worried that the cartel or whoever owned the mystery mountain of cocaine might track her down for retribution.
00:34:11
Did she get it if no one claims it? Right? After 30 days, yes, come back and you can adopt this pallet of coke.
00:34:21
Every time she told this story to her grandkids, we were horrified. Do you know how much that cocaine was worth?
00:34:28
We gave her endless grief for handing over what we called our potential tuition fund to the police.
00:34:33
I mean, who would have suspected a snowbird granny as a drug boss? But in all seriousness, she was a total badass who never took shit from anyone.
00:34:41
Even in her late 80s, she walked with a cane topped with a silver donkey head, telling us,
00:34:45
you never know when you'll need to hit someone over the head with democracy. Love you, Hesterly.
00:34:52
Hesterly, you are our hero. Ruminant hot Thanks for all you do Stay sexy and may you one day stumble upon your own mountain of treasure cocaine Kay Kay that was so great That a TV show
00:35:05
Betty White then has to get rid of all the, like she actually has to sell it all.
00:35:09
Yeah, every week she finds drugs and then has to sell them all by the end of the week.
00:35:14
Right. With her dog. And if she doesn't, she has to do all the drugs. If she can't sell them all, they got to get gone somehow.
00:35:20
That's right. So she goes down. A big party. To her friend Maud's house. What's the other one's name?
00:35:27
What? The other Golden Girls. Oh, Maud. Rose. There's a Rose. There's a Blanche.
00:35:35
Those are the only ones I know. Rose Blanche. Sophia. Sophia. And Dorothy. Dorothy.
00:35:41
Dorothy. Thank you very much for being here with us on this mini-sode. We love to read your emails.
00:35:48
Yeah, that was a journey. Yeah. Write into myfavoritemurder at gmail.com if you have a story that sounds like any of these but different.
00:35:55
Yeah, anything really at this point. Yeah, we just love communication. We do. Stay sexy.
00:35:59
And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie? This has been an Exactly Right production.
00:36:13
Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer is Tessa Hughes. Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.
00:36:18
This episode was mixed by Liana Squalacci. Email your hometowns to MyFavoriteMurder at gmail.com.
00:36:24
Follow the show on Instagram at MyFavoriteMurder. Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:36:31
And now you can watch My Favorite Murder on Netflix. And when you're there, hit the double thumbs up and the remind me buttons.
00:36:36
That's the best way you can support our show. Goodbye. Goodbye. We'll see you next time.
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