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00:02:16
Goodbye. My favorite murder. place called The Studio at Baja Mar, which is this gorgeous resort here. And they have built a
00:02:59
podcast studio at this resort. And we are now doing the inaugural podcast episode.
00:03:05
That's right. Like you can come and podcast here, which is incredible. Do you have a vacation podcast? Then you might want to come here.
00:03:12
And in fact, because we're on vacation and we're at this resort, we're doing a kind of a themed
00:03:18
mini-sode of vacation stories. In fact, we have a vacation podcast ourselves. It's this podcast,
00:03:26
and we're about to do it. We're only ever. We're never going back to Burbank. We're on the resort circuit now. Like many magicians and people who call bingo on cruise
00:03:36
ships, that's us. We're resort talent. That's right. And I lost $100 in literally four seconds
00:03:43
last night at the casino at this place playing the Whitney Houston slot machine.
00:03:48
I watched. It was epic. I did too, though. It was the funniest thing I've ever done.
00:03:53
I wasn't paying attention. You pressed the wrong button and you got like two spins.
00:03:57
Max bet, max bet. You're done. It's over. Give up gambling. You're bad at it. All right.
00:04:02
You want to go first? Sure. Vacation-themed mini-sode. A vacation-themed mini-sode with vacationers all around us.
00:04:09
if you hear ambient noise, that's not, we didn't build this noise. No, this is real resort
00:04:15
experience. Yeah. I can't get over it. Okay. So here's my first story. The subject line is
00:04:21
dad lost at sea on jet ski for three days. What survival story, dear brethren of mayhem and murder
00:04:28
and Dottie. I love you. Blah, blah, obsessed. Want to be your BFFs, et cetera, et cetera.
00:04:33
I know that Karen is obsessed with survival stories. So I thought I would share a story of
00:04:38
how my dad, Dale Chimenti, I'm guessing. And then it says, feel free to say his name. There are many
00:04:43
articles about this story. So this is the real deal. How my dad, Dale Chimenti, survived three
00:04:50
days at sea in the Gulf of Mexico in 1994. Oh my, okay. Wow. Okay. So it says, the fam,
00:04:57
my mother Liz, father Dale, five-year-old brother Joey, 25-year-old cousin Danny,
00:05:01
and my eight-year-old self went down to Cozumel in 1994. Danny is my dad's godson
00:05:07
and they've spent their lives pulling pranks and generally being ridiculous with one another.
00:05:12
On the first day of the trip, they decided to ride jet skis while we sat on the beach with my mom.
00:05:17
They rented the jet skis from the shack on the beach across from our hotel and secured their rental with a credit card.
00:05:23
They drove about two miles offshore before my dad's jet ski broke down. They idled for a moment and considered their options,
00:05:30
but since my dad had his credit card, At the beach shack, he didn't want to ditch the jet ski.
00:05:35
Oh, my God. And then in all caps, it says, bad move, Dale. Dude. By the time Danny got back with help, my dad had already drifted away.
00:05:43
My dad floated by himself in the ocean for three days. The jet ski sank almost immediately.
00:05:49
What? Uh-huh. So you would think, oh, the motor died, but I'll just sit here. Yeah.
00:05:54
No. And he says but he was able to keep hold of the seat until he hallucinated that a guy in the clouds named Paul was offering him a fresh glass of orange juice and he let go of the seat
00:06:06
Oh, my freaking. Paul, thank God you're here. Oh, my God. Okay. This is mind blowing.
00:06:12
Okay. You're not going to like this part. Okay. Snakes wrapped around his legs. And he threw them off.
00:06:18
Are we sure those weren't hallucinations, though? I mean, they could have. Yeah.
00:06:21
I'm going to pretend they were hallucinations. When the snakes came, did you drop your glass of orange juice?
00:06:24
you don't know what's going on. Okay, it says, he also made a pact with the sharks. He promised that
00:06:29
if they didn't eat him, he would never eat them. Sharks don't need that promise from you.
00:06:35
It seems like it worked. He was able to put his shorts on his head at times in an effort to block
00:06:41
the sun and the saltwater on his face. My mom sent us home with Danny and rented small Cessna
00:06:47
planes to try to find my father. The Mexican Coast Guard didn't have anything in place for
00:06:53
these kinds of situations and she ended up getting the U.S. Coast Guard involved. My God,
00:06:57
it's an international incident. My father was not a religious man, but on the third day he asked for
00:07:02
a sign that God wanted him around. Several hours later, a mollusk-covered Coke bottle with an inch
00:07:08
of unidentified substance floated by. He didn't care if it was piss or Pepsi. And he says,
00:07:15
and he drank it, even though it was a Coke bottle. It's not Pepsi. A German freighter that
00:07:20
had changed its course two hours earlier came upon him. He still had his shorts on his head,
00:07:26
and in his mind, he thought there was no way someone would pick up a man with shorts on his
00:07:30
head from the ocean. The man who spotted him was named Archangel Kajayong. Archangel. Seriously.
00:07:37
What? Yeah. Dale was pretty crispy and dehydrated, but otherwise had no medical problems. As if his
00:07:43
ordeal wasn't enough, the jet ski company attempted to charge him $5,000 for the lost jet ski.
00:07:48
Yep. No. My dad is the toughest SOB, yet the kindest, most gentle soul in the world.
00:07:54
It's hard to believe it's been over 20 years since it happened. Strangely enough, he still loves the ocean and takes every opportunity to go to the beach.
00:08:01
No, no. You know why? Because Paul's always there. Paul was there for him. Not a religious man.
00:08:07
But Paul is there for you in the clouds, isn't he? Good old Paul in the clouds with his orange shoes.
00:08:13
That's a religion I can get behind. Absolutely. We have a display cabinet in our basement with the life jacket and all the newspaper and magazine articles.
00:08:20
Of course, I had the most atrocious sense of 90s fashion and braces. If you would like to read more about his ordeal.
00:08:26
Oh, he wrote a book about it called Swept Away, A Story of Survival, and it's on Amazon and iTunes.
00:08:32
Yes, I would like to read that book. What the hell? That was worth this entire trip, this story.
00:08:38
Right? Like you couldn't have told this in our little Burbank studio. It would have been like not great.
00:08:43
Okay, well, great. You had to tell us when we're both in resort wear. And we both in paradise.
00:08:48
We have two massive jet skis waiting for us the second this record is over. That is so many levels.
00:08:56
Yeah, right? Wow. I don't even know how. That's the only one we should do today.
00:09:00
Goodbye. And that was from Stephanie Chimenti Hammond. Wow. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace.
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Goodbye. Summer is fun, but it can also completely destroy your routine. Between days at the beach, recovering from days at the beach, and then remembering you
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00:14:10
Oh, no. Hey, y'all. Love you both so much and could fangirl all day, but let's get into it.
00:14:17
I'm from Melbourne, Australia. Back in 2014, I went on a holiday with my boyfriend for the first time.
00:14:23
We were 18 and newly in love. We went to Perth for a week, and it was perfect. Until on our last day, we went to the beach and were building mega sandcastles and paddling in the ocean all day.
00:14:34
The day was going amazing, and I was so over the moon with my first boyfriend holiday.
00:14:40
Remember those? We were out in the water and standing about three feet deep, just talking and laughing and being grossly in love when suddenly he turned around and started running back to the shore. I yelled out asking what was wrong and where he was going, but he did not respond and just kept running.
00:14:57
I decided I should follow because clearly something happened. I got to the shore and he was standing on the beach, looking out into the water with
00:15:04
the most frightened look on his face. I once again asked what's wrong and what happened.
00:15:09
And he said, there's a fucking shark in the water. Oh, so I was shocked. I looked out into the water and about six feet from where we were just standing was a,
00:15:20
you guessed it, seal. Swimming around playfully. I turned to him and said, that's a seal, you idiot.
00:15:31
And he responded, well, I thought it was a shark. Okay. That's what had occurred to me.
00:15:35
You thought it was a shark and you left me in the water and didn't say anything.
00:15:39
Like didn't even yell shark. Yeah. He just looked at me speechless. Yes. He left me in the water as a human sacrifice.
00:15:47
Ah, 18 year old boys. Some might think this might've been the end for us, but nope.
00:15:52
Oh, we are now married. four amazing children double down and he is still scared at the beach shout out to my sister for
00:16:01
telling me i would really like podcasts and i should try listening to this podcast insisting
00:16:05
i would love it and she was in fact right hi annie annie it's always the sisters stay sexy and learn
00:16:12
the difference between a shark and a seal and maybe tell your girlfriend why you're running
00:16:15
emma she her emma she married him she sure did it was a seal well have you seen that movie
00:16:24
force majeure. Emma, if you haven't seen force majeure, it is the best movie and it's a real
00:16:30
study in this exact thing. Because what I started thinking is Bradford, who works in our legal
00:16:35
department, has been my friend for a long time, has such a fear of sharks that I once sent him
00:16:41
pictures of sharks with human teeth because it's the funniest thing. And he was like,
00:16:45
please don't ever do that again. So maybe that guy had the same thing. Okay, but you can still yell the word shark.
00:16:51
That's very true. It's like when you're golfing. Don't you have to yell something so you don't hit someone with a...
00:16:54
I don't want to be on this guy's side, but fear does weird stuff to you. Okay. I feel you.
00:17:00
You're giving her an excuse, and I appreciate that. I want her love to be pure. I think it is.
00:17:04
They have four kids. I mean, it has to be. It better be. Emma, get your husband to write in about what his thoughts were that day.
00:17:10
We'd love to hear it. We'll give him his own equal time. Another great ocean story.
00:17:15
This subject line of this email is saved from a tiger shark by dolphins. Oh. Come on.
00:17:20
This is a Lisa Frank story. Karen Georgia, Stephen and Critters. I'm a scuba diver based in Nebraska.
00:17:26
And then in parentheses, it says, yes, I know. Who's obsessed with many, many sea critters to involve sharks of all kinds, toothy and toothless alike.
00:17:35
So I have to preface this with a couple of hills that I will die upon. One, sharks are a vital part of the global ecosystem.
00:17:43
We didn't say to kill all the sharks. Listen, no one, don't lecture us. of the global ecosystem and villainizing them only promotes the myth that they're voracious
00:17:51
man eaters They are but we still like them Absolutely Number two two sharks Humans don look smell or taste like food Most of the attack instances Emma please please play this part for your husband Most of the attack instances occur when humans are in situations where we look like they food turtles and seals or the shark is very young and reckless
00:18:12
Picture a little shark with a douchey oversized T. They just don't know any better.
00:18:17
Backwards hat. Yeah. Hey, man, I'm being cool in the ocean. Okay, now for the shark story.
00:18:22
I was on a live aboard dive boat. Oh, sorry. I was on a live aboard. What the? I don't know what any of that is.
00:18:30
Like you live on it. Live aboard dive boat. A live aboard dive boat where our whole goal was to see as many tiger sharks as possible.
00:18:36
So I was definitely putting myself out there as far as attacks go. Tigers are large, intelligent sharks that have beautiful striped patterns on their skin.
00:18:44
We had very strict guidelines as to how we could interact with the sharks. And we spent nearly eight hours a day underwater watching these beautiful creatures.
00:18:51
we were on a dive where one specific tiger shark named Allison. All the tigers and hammerheads have names, and the crew on the boat knows all of them.
00:19:02
Allison is the funniest name for a shark. That's my shark, Allison. Yeah. Old Allison, she's fine.
00:19:08
She bites a little bit. It's not that big. She nibbles. Her teeth are gorgeous. So Allison was swimming around us.
00:19:13
She's a regular for this boat and was clearly very comfortable around divers. We were all taking pictures of her and admiring how beautifully she moves through the water when all of a sudden three dolphins appeared and started squeaking and playing around us.
00:19:27
Everyone freaked out. Dolphins were not common on the site we were diving, and our attention totally shifted from Allison to these spotted dolphins.
00:19:36
Oh, my God. So it says, after 400 dives, I've never seen dolphins before. Wow. Nebraska.
00:19:41
So I was 100% losing my mind taking photos and ended up breathing a little heavier than normal.
00:19:46
I was getting low on air, so I had to go back to the boat to refill my scuba cylinder.
00:19:50
Good diving practice. God damn it. Do not lecture us about diving practices. Good diving practice includes doing a safety stop at 15 feet to allow your body to release
00:20:00
nitrogen buildup that accumulates while you're breathing compressed air underwater.
00:20:04
So there I was hanging out all by my lonesome when Allison became a little less interested
00:20:09
in the group of divers on the seafloor and a little more interested in me. Oh, no.
00:20:13
Now, I know it's unlikely that Allison is really coming after me, but she's getting pretty close.
00:20:18
It only takes one curious bite from her multiple rows of hooked sawing teeth to do some really serious damage.
00:20:24
So now you're afraid of sharks. You're not allowed to be. You can't pick and choose when they're good and when they're bad.
00:20:30
What's the thing we're learning? It's when it's about her. That's when she's like, actually.
00:20:35
She's a shark apologist, and I am not here for it. So it says, at this point, she's five feet away from me.
00:20:41
Nope. So like a little further than this. And I'm sweating into my wetsuit. I turn a little so I'm facing her head on.
00:20:48
And then from the corner of my eye, I see three dolphins coming toward me from the side.
00:20:53
And they swarm Allison, steering her away from me, allowing me to finish my stop and get to the surface.
00:21:01
She's got pictures of all of this happening. So I got on the boat, told everyone within shouting distance what had happened,
00:21:06
refilled my cylinder and got right back in there to see more sharks. because goonies never say die.
00:21:12
But people do. And sharks do. I'm so thrilled that my sister Ellie bugged me, another sister,
00:21:18
until I listened to your podcast. I was instantly hooked and hounded my best friend
00:21:22
until she started listening last week. Now we all nerd out over our favorite moments.
00:21:27
Stay sexy and save our seas. Katie. And look at this last picture. It's literally the dolphins
00:21:33
escorting Allison out of the area. I love that they were like, no, no, man, it's not worth it.
00:21:38
Like holding her back. No, no, no, don't do it. Allison, don't do it. Don't do it.
00:21:41
Don't ruin this whole thing we got going. Like, who is she anyways? That was amazing.
00:21:46
Right? Yes. Would you ever do that? Go into the water with sharks? I don't need to.
00:21:51
I don't either. I like movies. I like, I'll stay on the boat. I like movies. Let's go to dinner.
00:21:57
I was going to say, I like boats, but I actually don't. So I don't even. I mean.
00:22:00
Let's go to dinner. Let's go to dinner. Summer is all about saying yes, going out and bringing the mess home in your car.
00:22:08
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00:22:28
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00:22:33
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So don't take any chances. Do car shopping the easy way. Start your search with Cars Where to next Goodbye Okay Hi to the two older sisters I wish I had Oh I know this past summer
00:26:42
Until we steal your curling iron. Exactly. And yeah, this past summer, I took a trip to Nashville with my best friend.
00:26:49
Now, I'm not really a nervous flyer anymore, but let's just say I still have main character
00:26:53
moments where one tiny bum convinces me we are free falling from 30,000 feet. Yeah.
00:26:58
I don't know if that's main character energy or just fucking fear. True. Yeah. Now, because of this, I always try to distract myself with a movie or some music.
00:27:06
So when I noticed a brand new Rewind episode had just been uploaded, I took it as a divine
00:27:11
sign from the travel gods. I pressed play and settled in only to realize something sounds off.
00:27:16
My AirPods must be breaking because everything is muffled. I crank the volume and I wiggle them around like an idiot.
00:27:23
That's weird. I say out loud to absolutely no one because my friend is asleep, but whatever.
00:27:27
Better a muffled murder podcast than listening to the engines and convincing myself we are plummeting.
00:27:32
I listen to every noise. Okay. Well, you kind of have to. Sometimes there's noises where you're like, there's no way you're supposed to be making that noise.
00:27:39
And then you look at the flight attendant's face and if they look scared, then you're going to be scared.
00:27:43
They start crying. Exactly. Fast forward a bit. And Karen is in the middle of vividly describing a murder like CSI could never levels of detail.
00:27:52
After a few strange looks from fellow passengers, I decide I'm going to ask the flight attendant for a drink.
00:27:58
I take one AirPod out and suddenly think, huh, why can I hear Karen so clearly? Oh, no.
00:28:04
Then it hits me to my absolute horror. One, my AirPods are not dying. Two, my volume is, in fact, all the way up.
00:28:12
Three, I have been broadcasting a full-blown murder narration to the entire plane at 8 a.m. on a Thursday.
00:28:18
Many people don't like true crime. You have to remember this. the odd looks weren't judgy.
00:28:25
They were looks of people genuinely wondering if they should alert an air marshal.
00:28:29
This made for a very awkward walk off the plane. Once we made it to our destination,
00:28:33
stay sexy and maybe make sure your AirPods are connected before starting your murder podcast.
00:28:38
All my love, Erica, Erica, Erica. There has to be a lot of people who have done that.
00:28:45
It must be right. There's, I've heard about it a lot of like, it comes on when they're like in a drive through or something.
00:28:50
Or like when you, yeah, when the ballet, I just really made myself sound stupid with saying when you're in the ballet and the music starts at like getting your car and your connects.
00:29:01
And suddenly the guy like what I like is that I getting a little bit of secondhand embarrassment because it like I was sitting on that plane yelling at the top of my lungs about something horrible Kind of you yeah Kind of is me Okay here my last one Quickie So their
00:29:18
first line is as if I did read this subject line, but I'm just going to save it because it starts,
00:29:23
yep. And then it says, was in the Bahamas visiting my then boyfriend's family, went out for drinks,
00:29:28
had just the right amount of Bahama mamas to totter over. And in my most excellent drunk Karen
00:29:34
voice asked Tommy Lee Jones for a picture. No. Because, quote, my mom would kill me if I didn't
00:29:40
ask you. I gave my phone to the bartender and just before he took the picture, Tommy Lee Jones says
00:29:45
very loudly, for God's sake, sit up straight. Your posture is terrible. Oh my God. You got
00:29:52
posture shamed by Tommy. I thought it wasn't going to be him at all, but no. It's him and he doesn't
00:29:57
approve. The whole situation still makes me cringe. I did send the photo to my mom who really would
00:30:02
have killed me if I didn't ask because she loves The Fugitive. I mean, who doesn't? One of the most
00:30:07
perfect movies. But honestly, not worth it. My posture was indeed pretty terrible on account of
00:30:14
being blacked the fuck out. No. That's how drunk she was. Oh, no. We also both look miserable since
00:30:20
I had just had my feelings hurt and Tommy Lee Jones pretty much always looks a bit cranky.
00:30:25
SSDGM Michelle. Oh, my God. A Bahama Tommy Lee Jones story. A Bahama Tommy Lee Jones.
00:30:32
What have we seen? Oh, my God. There he is. He's there and he's pissed. He's so mad.
00:30:37
He's telling us to sit. Shoulders back. Well, that was the inaugural podcast at the studio.
00:30:42
Yeah. What an honor. What an honor to be here. Thank you to Baja Mar for having us.
00:30:46
Yes. At this beautiful. Now we just get a party for the next couple of days. I know.
00:30:50
And meet one of those guys. Pink flamingos and macaws. Oh, yeah. So many things.
00:30:56
Thanks to everybody who worked on this beautiful studio. It's incredible. We're so excited to be here.
00:31:01
Yeah. Thanks, guys. Oh, and stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie?
00:31:10
This has been an Exactly Right production. Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer is Tessa Hughes.
00:31:20
Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo. This episode was mixed by Liana Squalacci. Email your hometowns to MyFavoriteMurder at gmail.com.
00:31:27
Follow the show on Instagram at MyFavoriteMurder. Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:31:35
And now you can watch My Favorite Murder on Netflix. And when you're there, hit the double thumbs up and the remind me buttons.
00:31:40
That's the best way you can support our show. Goodbye Cheap Caribbean Summer savings event is here
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00:32:36
The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14. Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation.
00:32:42
And Hyundai doesn't either. Hyundai has always moved the future within reach. Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle.
00:32:48
And by engineering EVs with ultra-fast charging capability. And Hyundai continues doing it every day because the future isn't some far-off concept.
00:32:56
It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye.
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