00:00:00
This is exactly right. Isn't some far off concept? It's already here. Next starts now.
00:00:33
Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. If audiobooks are your thing, or if you've been meaning to listen to more of them,
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Find your summer escape today. Visit Pura.com to learn more. Goodbye. Hello and welcome to My Favorite Murder.
00:01:49
The minisode. We read you your stories. You should go first. Okay, I will. Okay, great.
00:01:54
This one, I'm not going to tell you the subject line, but it's serious. Okay. But it's good.
00:02:00
Okay. Hey, girl, hey. It starts. Chicago, 2016. I had just left an abusive relationship, moved into a new apartment, and I had no idea this was one of the most crime-ridden neighborhoods of Chicago.
00:02:14
Oh. I was in nursing school, exhausted, just trying to survive. After class downtown, I made the incredibly smart decision to buy a giant, heavy, over-the-toilet storage unit from Target and carry onto the packed rush hour train for an hour-long commute back home.
00:02:31
Yeah. How do you—that just sucks. Like, I need this really bad. I have no storage in this apartment.
00:02:37
There's nowhere near me that sells this. No one's going to do it for me. I'm on a car.
00:02:41
I'm in Chicago. Just got to get it done. We hear you. Yeah. The entire time, people kept asking me if I needed help.
00:02:47
I had my headphones in listening to MFM and I was like, nope, I got it. Leave me alone.
00:02:52
Finally, I get off at my stop. Train's mostly empty now. I'm hauling this massive box down the stairs when a guy like the hundredth guy asks if I need help.
00:03:03
I say no. I live right here and gesture toward my apartment building and he goes, oh, I live there too.
00:03:08
Cool. Great. Fine. He comes back and says, my mom would kill me if I didn't help you and just takes the box.
00:03:15
I'm exhausted. He seems charming enough, and honestly, I wanted the help, so I let him.
00:03:20
We get into the courtyard. He points to his entrance on the left, asks which one is mine.
00:03:25
I point to the door on the right across the courtyard from his. We walk over. For context, Chicago buildings have that double door set up, outside door, then a small vestibule, then an inside door to keep the cold out.
00:03:37
I'm unlocking the first door when suddenly he shoves me inside. Door slams, my keys with my pepper spray and my stabby thing are still in the lock outside.
00:03:48
He pins me against the wall and puts a gun under my chin. Oh, no. Give me all your cash.
00:03:53
And here's where I'd like to thank you both because instead of panicking, I just started laughing.
00:04:00
Oh, no. Not in a this is funny way, but in a I know better than to fight this way.
00:04:05
I told him I'm a broke nursing student. I literally have nothing. I open my fanny pack, empty wallet, train card, debit card, ID.
00:04:14
That's it. He takes my train card, RIP, to the $100 I just loaded onto it, rips off my necklace,
00:04:21
Forever 21, but he didn't need to know that, and then tells me to take off my ring, my
00:04:25
grandma's pearl ring that hadn't come off my finger in five years. I'm struggling to get it off, and he puts the gun against my hand and says, if you don't
00:04:34
take it off, I'll get it off. like he was going to, all caps, shoot my hand and take my finger.
00:04:40
So yeah, I got the ring off. Skin, dignity, everything included. He leaves. I collapse on the floor, crying, shaking, fully in shock.
00:04:49
And then I hear laughter. Soft at first, then clear. And I genuinely thought, okay, cool, I've lost my mind.
00:04:57
But no, it was you two. Oh, God. Jesus. Still playing in my headphones. No. Just chatting, laughing about something, completely unaware that you were actively in my ear during one of the scariest moments of my life.
00:05:10
And weirdly, it grounded me because I did exactly what you always say. I stayed calm.
00:05:16
I didn't escalate. And I stayed sexy and didn't get murdered. Also, for the record, I got mugged three more times in the next four months at that apartment.
00:05:24
So four muggings total. So I broke my lease and got the hell out of there. Jesus.
00:05:29
I don't live in Chicago anymore, but I still love that city in a deeply unwell, possibly Stockholm syndrome way.
00:05:35
And now I'm about to graduate as a forensic nurse. Wow. With plans to become a pediatric sane sexual assault to collect evidence examiner and eventually work with a DA's office to help push legislation to classify violence against women as a hate crime.
00:05:50
Nice. Amazing. So good. So truly thank you for the laughs the awareness and for literally being in my ear when I needed you most Stay sexy and listen to your gut and also to Karen in Georgia Love Hannah God Hannah I sorry that happened to you
00:06:06
That's like one of the most intense ones we've ever gotten. I know. Well, we've gotten some horrible ones.
00:06:12
Yeah, but like firsthand. Firsthand, yeah, you're right. You're right. But also I think that thing of like, it's not Stockholm syndrome.
00:06:17
Chicago is an amazing city. And there's many, many things happening there. It's like, that's...
00:06:22
That could happen literally anywhere. and does and does and wow but staying calm in that moment like what a what a heroic thing to do
00:06:31
right not everyone would do that it's a tough thing i also was so afraid you were gonna say
00:06:36
when the laughter came through that it was like a prank oh or just like good lord okay um this one
00:06:45
got pulled because it's new uh like we just got it in the last couple days but it's relevant the
00:06:52
Subject line is my brush with FLDS. Oh. And so it says, hello, Karen and Georgia.
00:06:59
Your talk with Trust Me made me remember my brush with the FLDS, which, if you don't know, is the fundamentalist arm of the LDS.
00:07:08
The Church of the Latter-day Saints. The Church of the Latter-day Saints. Mormons.
00:07:11
We call them Mormons. Fundamentalists. But the fundamentalist group is an offshoot.
00:07:16
Yeah. I was working as a park ranger in Grand Canyon, and once a year, the FLDS would come from Colorado City with a bunch of their youth and do a giant rim-to-rim hike.
00:07:28
This is where you—it doesn't say hike, but we're assuming. This is where you walk from one side of the canyon to the other.
00:07:34
It's about 24 miles and extremely grueling. Have you ever done anything at the Grand Canyon?
00:07:38
We went camping when I was a kid there, and my brother went down. I was like a fucking 11-year-old and, like, didn't come back till the middle of the night.
00:07:44
Oh, no. I think I wrote about it in the book. Stay out of the forest. That's why I brought him up.
00:07:48
Was he by himself? Yeah. Asher. He was such a fucking, I'm sure he was dead. He was so punk rock, even in the Grand Canyon.
00:07:57
Okay. As they did the trip, they would break countless park rules. First rule, you have to be holding a permit if you're going to do a hike over 12 people in the canyon.
00:08:08
This group knew this. They would break into smaller groups of about six to seven kids with one 14-year-old at the helm.
00:08:15
and then a bunch of children probably between the ages from 8 to 14. The young teens would always say that they were 18,
00:08:22
knowing very well that they should have an adult with them. They were not 18. They would also claim that they weren't with other groups
00:08:28
that were walking through the canyon at the exact same time, just 5 or 10 minutes ahead.
00:08:33
This is a pretty bad lie because they all dress very similarly. The girls would be in standard FLDS dresses.
00:08:40
Boys would be in jeans and slacks and a button-up shirt, not hiking attire. The adults would be on horses, which are not allowed at the bottom of the canyon,
00:08:48
as they were typically very aggressive and would startle the mules that bring necessary food and supplies down to the rangers in the canyon.
00:08:55
There's usually only two adults for 50 kids. My favorite part is every time they would do this,
00:09:01
there would always be a ranger up top at the rim just waiting to write the entire group some fines.
00:09:07
This really didn't stop the group as they tend to do this every single year. I'm not going to lie, though.
00:09:11
I always thought the young girls who were doing the hike were pretty badass. They would be in really heavy dresses, covered neck to toe, and they would do an entire rim to rim.
00:09:20
This is a hike I would constantly see fully grown fit adult males cry on and beg to be helicoptered out.
00:09:29
Holy shit. I would regularly tell the girls they're really strong for doing this hike.
00:09:33
I secretly wish they had the same strength to live the life they want when they're older, whatever that may be.
00:09:40
One more story I want to tell you is completely unrelated, but my coworker was raised in the
00:09:45
Moonies cult. He doesn't talk about this and just says he was raised in a Christian group that would
00:09:51
be considered a cult by some. I immediately said, like what, the Moonies? And his face turned pale white.
00:09:58
He asked me how the heck I knew about them. Apparently knowing about the Moonies is not common knowledge, untrue.
00:10:04
and that was the first person he'd ever encountered who outright guessed it. I think it's Murderinos who know about that.
00:10:12
Thanks, Karen and Georgia. Yes. But you know what it is? I think it's Gen X and above and older because the Moonies were like on the 7 o'clock news when I was growing up.
00:10:22
Vince knew all about them. Yeah. I think they were always being kind of seeded as like there's this problem cult like waiting.
00:10:28
Look what they're doing now. And then it says, you guys are the best. Thanks for all you do.
00:10:33
but you know that already. Much love. KK. Oh, a KK. A KK. Another KK. That's a very interesting perspective of like, and this was just basically thrown in because
00:10:46
Trust Me, the False Prophet is now streaming on Netflix, which our Lola from Trust Me,
00:10:53
the podcast here on ERM, her mother is one of the subjects of that documentary. And apparently it's incredible. I haven't watched it yet.
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00:12:05
view important disclosures at acorns.com slash mfm. Goodbye. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer,
00:12:14
Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent. The future soccer stars who are
00:12:18
already turning heads at age 14. Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't make sense, rewriting record books that barely had time to
00:12:26
gather dust. Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation and Hyundai doesn't either. Hyundai
00:12:31
has always moved the future within reach. Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every
00:12:36
vehicle. Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra fast charging capability. And Hyundai
00:12:41
continues doing it every day. From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing
00:12:46
the game, the future isn't some far off concept. It's already here. Next starts now. Hyundai,
00:12:51
an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. This is called Panic with Purpose, Divine Intervention Story.
00:13:01
Hi, I've been along for the ride since the beginning, and I'm so proud of you celebrating 10 years.
00:13:07
It's amazing what you have used your voices for. Your authenticity has truly started an evolution for good
00:13:12
within the podcasting world through storytelling and advocacy. That's nice. I hope you're proud of yourselves for what you've created.
00:13:19
I think they meant that in a nice way. I hope you're proud of yourself. I hope you're proud of yourself.
00:13:23
Back in 2010, I was living in a shitty house in a rowdy college neighborhood. Almost every night of the week, one of the houses on our cul-de-sac was throwing a rager
00:13:30
with kegs, beer pong, DJs, fog machine, like any classy shindig. I've never been to a frat party.
00:13:38
Have you? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Have I never been to a frat? Well, I guess it makes sense.
00:13:43
I mean, I think if my sister and I weren't like friends the way that we were, and I also
00:13:49
had a bunch of cousins that we all went to sock state together okay so it was like we went to i
00:13:54
remember going to a gigantic frat party in davis and my cousin johnny was there i went with my
00:14:00
sister there were cousins in town like it was a whole thing so it wasn't like me and my friend
00:14:04
walking into a frat party okay i've never been my we all went to community college so like my
00:14:09
siblings and i and i don't think normally i would have gone because i was a bit more on the gothy
00:14:13
side and it's not like they want to be there but we're all like hey party all right yeah amazing
00:14:18
So someone invite me to their kegger, please. On our hosted party nights, we would take hours prepping the house, removing valuables, pushing furniture against the walls, and preparing for the nightly rage.
00:14:30
We proudly lined the top of our cabinets with our empty burnet bottles, got the shittiest beer kegs, and stocked the fridge with original recipe for locos.
00:14:39
I remember those. The following day was always a bad hangover while cleaning gene marks from the walls, vomit, and sticky substances from all surfaces.
00:14:48
Why? So disgusting. I tell you these details because it reflects our poor judgment and priorities.
00:14:54
That's right. On a night off from hosting, I went out to bars and had a bad fight with my boyfriend.
00:15:00
Instead of sleeping at his house like most nights, I opted to stay at my own house and mope since all my roommates were gone.
00:15:06
In the middle of the night, I was awoken to the shrill of fire alarms. Opening my bedroom door, I was immediately engulfed in black smoke.
00:15:14
I couldn't see an inch in front of my face. I made my way through the smoke to the living room where my roommate's friend was passed out on the couch and completely unresponsive to my yelling.
00:15:24
I ran to the kitchen and my roommate was sitting on our futon. Yes, very classy kitchen futon and appeared to be hunched over texting.
00:15:32
I was screaming his name as I saw our stove engulfed in flames right next to him.
00:15:37
He had completely passed out while texting and making his post bar noodles. In my underwear and bra-less state, I panicked with purpose.
00:15:46
I found the fire extinguisher and remembered pass, P-A-S-S, pull, aim, squeeze, sweep, and put out the flames.
00:15:53
I then ran around the house and opened every window and door to air out the smoke.
00:15:57
I was eventually able to shake him awake, and the first thing he said to me was,
00:16:02
was not, thanks for saving my life, but what? Very annoyed. Then asked where his noodles were.
00:16:08
His friend was also okay and not dead. If I were not there that night, I don't know what would have happened because they weren't responding to a fucking fire alarm.
00:16:16
Yeah, they were passed out. Yeah, it would have lit the whole goddamn place down.
00:16:19
Yeah. Not surprisingly, we did not get our deposit back when we moved out due to, quote, burn marks and smoke damage.
00:16:26
But I am grateful for whatever divine intervention helped me be there that night.
00:16:30
I also can't believe how quickly my fight or flight kicked in post-sleep, and I'm proud I was able to panic with purpose.
00:16:37
Sorry for the lengthy story, but sharing these stories makes me amazed. I survived those years. Now I can barely stay awake past 9 p.m. and I'm raising three smart,
00:16:46
kind kids. I'm sure they'll make many mistakes like I did, but I try my best to remind them to
00:16:51
be humble and kind. In this world, we need that more than ever. I am a traveling speech therapist
00:16:56
and you're with me daily as I visit patients in their homes. Thank you for all your love and humor.
00:17:01
It keeps us all going. Love, Carrie. Pronounce K-R-E. Carrie. how do we pronounce this crazy name i love that she's like i wonder what would have happened it's
00:17:17
like yeah the house would have burned down yeah you saved their lives yeah you did it full credit
00:17:21
it doesn't sound like you panicked at all it sounds like you woke up and handled shit totally
00:17:26
congratulations um okay this is a trash parents story uh and it starts hi all i was introduced
00:17:34
your podcast during a job interview in 2017. Cool. Spread the word. Right? It says, didn't get the job, but found you two.
00:17:41
When for me, that job would have been awful. You've asked for pretty much any story at this point.
00:17:47
So I felt I needed to write in. I am one of eight children. And yes, my parents believed in birth control, but wanted a big family.
00:17:54
My dad was a pastor and we spent a lot of time at church One Wednesday evening after service the adults were chatting about God or something and all the kids decided to play hide Being the competitive middle child that I am I was determined to win
00:18:09
I squeezed my tiny five-year-old body into a thick set of bushes. No, not bushes.
00:18:15
That line at church. I did this once, too, in a big backyard. We played hide-and-seek at night.
00:18:20
A bunch of adults, most of them were drunk. I was not. and I wedged myself kind of under a hedge and no one found me.
00:18:28
I won like hands down, but everyone got really mad. They were like, where were you?
00:18:33
I'm like, I thought it wasn't the whole idea. It was like I was supposed to just be slightly behind a tree or something.
00:18:39
That's really funny. So it says, I sat patiently as others were found, smirking at my brilliance that no one had spotted me.
00:18:46
What seemed like hours, probably 15 minutes, things got quieter and I started to hear doors shutting and cars pulling away.
00:18:53
Oh, no. Feeling very proud that no one found my spot, I emerged from the bushes only to see my family's van pull out of the parking lot.
00:19:00
Because there's eight of them. That's too many to count. Oh, my God. The very last car to leave.
00:19:07
I yelled, but they didn't see or hear me. I immediately burst into tears. Holy shit.
00:19:11
Now, I know what you're thinking. At church, surely someone will come by and see a five-year-old crying on the front steps.
00:19:17
But, reader, you are wrong. No. This church was on a highway in the middle of nowhere.
00:19:21
I was sure I was going to die or be eaten by mountain lions. As luck or God or the universe or whatever would have it,
00:19:29
one of the other pastor's wives forgot something in the church, and she and her husband turned around to retrieve it.
00:19:36
A five-year-old. That's so young. A little baby. A little baby. They found me crying on the front steps.
00:19:43
Oh, my God. They wouldn't have known until bedtime, I bet. Yes. When everyone's in bed and there's an empty bed,
00:19:49
and it's like, when was the last time you saw it? Uh-oh. I know I've told this story, but this happened to me in kindergarten.
00:19:53
Yeah. The whole car. Watching the carpool drive away as a five-year-old, you're like, this isn't a mistake.
00:20:00
They're choosing to go. And I'm alone for the rest. I'm alone forever. This sucks.
00:20:05
I don't want to eat that weird pizza in the cafeteria again. They found me crying on the front steps, left a note for my parents on the front door.
00:20:12
This was before pagers or cell phones, and took me to their house not too far away.
00:20:18
Meanwhile, my family had a quiet drive back to their home. an hour away with a van full of sleepy children.
00:20:25
When everyone came inside and began the bedtime routine of pajamas and teeth brushing,
00:20:29
my mom realized she was missing a kid. Can you imagine? The whole way home. She's so exhausted from having eight kids, and then it's an hour away.
00:20:38
She feels so guilty. She played all that hide-and-seek. She had a great time herself, finally, as a mom.
00:20:44
My dad assured her that I probably fell asleep in the van and he'd go get me. A minute later, he ran in, face white, grabbed the keys, muttering, we forgot Janice.
00:20:56
We forgot Janice. He began the hour-long journey trying to rescue me. Halfway there, a state trooper pulled him over for speeding.
00:21:04
When he rolled down his window, he said, I know I was speeding. I promised to come back and receive a ticket, but I forgot my five-year-old daughter at church and she's all alone.
00:21:12
The trooper looked at him and said, well, you'd better hurry. When my dad, he's no police escort like the movies?
00:21:19
When my dad finally arrived, he saw the note and found me at the other pastor's house.
00:21:24
I was surrounded by all their grandkids' toys, and I had every snack from their pantry nearly laid out.
00:21:29
See? When he arrived, I said, hi, dad, thanks for coming, but I think I want to live here now.
00:21:34
Don't worry, I'll visit you often. After some coaxing and bribing me with bringing all the snacks with us, we headed home.
00:21:42
On the way home, my dad stopped at where he was pulled over by the state trooper originally, but the guy wasn't there.
00:21:48
Maybe the trooper figured out he'd had enough punishment for one night. After that, my parents made it a rule to count each kid before they left anywhere.
00:21:57
Stay sexy and please make sure all your kids are in the car before leaving. Janice.
00:22:02
Janice with an E, so Janice kind of sounds the same. Maybe. Janice, yeah. And then it says, P.S. My oldest kid was at trivia night and a question came up about a true crime comedy podcast by Karen Kilgareff and Georgia Hartstark.
00:22:15
He scored a point for his team instantly. Thanks for making me cool for a moment with my kid.
00:22:22
Love that. Right. That's like to be the highest like that's success. Yes. If you're on fucking quiz nights.
00:22:29
Yes, that's so true. And then how many kids do you think at what point you like lose track of them?
00:22:35
Four. You really knew that one. I really believe it. Three is too many. Three, you can see three.
00:22:42
Three is really hard, but they're like in front of you. Yeah. While the world watches the stars at the FIFA World Cup this summer,
00:22:49
Hyundai has its eyes on the next generation of talent. The future soccer stars who are already turning heads at age 14.
00:22:55
Making plays that end up on everyone's feed, scoring from angles that don't make sense,
00:22:59
rewriting record books that barely had time to gather dust. Because Next doesn't wait for an invitation, and Hyundai doesn't either.
00:23:06
Hyundai has always moved the future within reach. Hyundai did it by making advanced safety standard on every vehicle.
00:23:12
Hyundai did it by engineering EVs with ultra-fast charging capability. And Hyundai continues doing it every day.
00:23:18
From robotics that change how people live to young athletes changing the game, the future isn't some far-off concept. It's already here.
00:23:25
Next starts now. Hyundai, an official partner of FIFA. Goodbye. Pandora Jewelry brings the sparkle to summer, now with even better prices.
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Terms and conditions apply. See pandora.net for more details. Goodbye. Okay, this is my last one.
00:23:54
Why I was never allowed to babysit again. Hey, all. Well, you asked. At the age of 17, I was watching two boys ages three and one.
00:24:05
That is a baby. Yeah. Those are babies. That's brand new. And you're 17 during their spring break.
00:24:10
I had been babysitting these kids for about a year, so I felt pretty comfortable staying with them while their parents were at work.
00:24:16
Since the weather was nice, their mom had suggested I take them to the zoo for the day.
00:24:20
Again, I'm 17 and very unqualified to be in public with children this young. The day started off well enough.
00:24:26
The boys were excited and cooperative. Intel. Well enough is a tough way to be like the day started off well enough.
00:24:33
If you're babysitting and like you're staying home. Yeah. You know. Oh, my God. Everything could go wrong.
00:24:38
It's like the TV, snacks and like your own house with a bathroom. Totally. No reason to go anywhere.
00:24:45
The three-year-old, we'll call him Kyle, fucking Kyle, became overcome with illogical emotion.
00:24:51
Kids fucking do that, man. That's another reason. And adults. When I told him he couldn't have a second lemon ice pop, he started crying, which turned into screaming.
00:25:00
which turned into me being hauled off to the zoo jail until his mom could come and verify that her children were in my care.
00:25:08
You may be wondering how things went south so quickly. Kyle had become so inconsolable that he started running away from me screaming,
00:25:16
Someone help me! That's not my mommy! You little shit, Kyle. You little shit. On repeat, by the time I had caught him and hooked my arm around his waist,
00:25:27
He was kicking and screaming, drawing the attention of just about everyone, including zoo security.
00:25:32
I mean, at least they did something. Totally. Totally. We got to be we got to upside it a little bit.
00:25:38
Security took me. Well, wait till you hear this then. Security took me into a separate office and kept the boys in the lobby where they, all caps, gave them a fucking ice pop.
00:25:48
So this little shit, it worked. Kyle wins. Kyle fucking is like, this is how I get what I want.
00:25:53
Kyle wins again. He's been to the zoo before. That's right. This isn't his first rodeo.
00:25:57
No, no, no. Well, we waited for their mom. She showed up about 45 minutes later, took the boys home, and never called me again.
00:26:03
Just kidding. I loved those kids and continued to babysit them until I graduated from high school.
00:26:08
Aww. Their mom thought the above incident was hilarious and still gives me shit about it years later.
00:26:13
Nice. That's so cool. I do love that. Yeah. SSTGM, and don't task a 17-year-old with watching your kids somewhere other than their own home.
00:26:21
Yeah. M. yeah because i think kids i babysat the kid my sister like nannied for one time like she had to
00:26:29
get me to do it for three hours and he just immediately just started he knew he couldn't
00:26:34
push it with my sister yeah and with me he just immediately was like i think i gonna slip under these bleachers and just go get lost over there Same with my nephew Micah It was just like I don have to listen to you No He like wait a second
00:26:48
I'm seeing all soft spots here. Totally. Yeah. We're equals. We're having fun. We're equals.
00:26:53
Bye. Okay. Well, this actually perfectly dovetails into my last story. The subject line says child labor story.
00:27:01
It says, hello, Karen, Georgia and fur babies in all caps. And then it says, Karen, I know it's your favorite.
00:27:06
And then there's an emoji of someone laughing so hard until they cry. I love that one.
00:27:10
And here's me just suffering over here. I've been listening since early COVID when my boss recommended MFM as a coping mechanism for being a nurse during that.
00:27:21
Honored. I mean, incredible. You two have been my emotional support podcast ever since.
00:27:26
You recently asked for slightly inappropriate childhood job stories. I love that we did that.
00:27:32
I love it. And wow, do I have one for you. I was a feral ADHD child with the energy of a caffeinated squirrel.
00:27:39
My poor parents, Anne and Rod, had no idea what to do with me during the summers until one day they had a truly unhinged idea.
00:27:48
She loves animals. We know the zoo director. Let's just drop her off there. What the fuck?
00:27:53
You know Anne and Rod. They're nuts. And that's how, in peak 90s parenting fashion, I became a child zoo volunteer with what I can only describe as zero OSHA oversight.
00:28:05
That that's not volunteering. That's babysitting. That's that's abandonment in a public place.
00:28:11
You pay the ticket and you're like, see you in eight hours. Run along. Three days a week.
00:28:15
My mom would drop me off while I won. It's a little less, but I'll number it. One, cleaned animal enclosures.
00:28:21
Two, fed various creatures. Three, consumed my body weight in shock tarts. Four, apparently flirted with death.
00:28:30
Question mark, question mark. Some highlights include one, cleaning the alligator enclosure.
00:28:35
while alligators were still in it. With the guidance, if they hiss and get puffy, just hop back over the fence.
00:28:42
That's good life advice. Anything ever misses and gets puffy. Get the fuck out of it.
00:28:47
Either or. By two, wrangling wallabies. And then in quotes, here's the advice she got.
00:28:53
Watch the feet, they kick, get behind them and grab the tail. I'm thinking of a panda bear for some reason.
00:29:00
They're like, I believe. Or koala bear. Wallabies, I think, are like little kangaroos.
00:29:06
Am I wrong about that? You're correct. Oh. I win. Okay. And then it says, totally normal.
00:29:13
Eight-year-old. And then the last one says, hand-feeding lemurs things called monkey biscuits.
00:29:20
Careful the ring one bites they said Cool Of course he does I loved every second of it all caps but my crowning achievement I got to help hand a baby tiger
00:29:33
No. One of the zoo's tigers had two cubs. One didn't make it. They pulled the other to hand-raise her.
00:29:39
I got to bottle-feed her every day I volunteered. Oh, my God. Here you go. Photo?
00:29:46
Oh, go to our Instagram to see the photo. That is a stuffed animal. That's not real.
00:29:51
Literally looks like a perfectly made stuffed animal. Look at those toe beans. I named her Tigger because I was 10 and working with what I had.
00:29:59
I fed her, played with her, did enrichment, basically lived my best Tiger King but wholesome life.
00:30:06
She grew up, thrived, and lived to be 17 years old. Oh, my God. Did she recognize her when she'd come back to the zoo?
00:30:12
Let's see. We'll find out. Okay. And then my career abruptly ended. One day I came home smelling especially terrible.
00:30:19
My dad asked why I smelled worse than usual. And then a parentheses that says rude but fair.
00:30:24
And I casually told him, oh, yeah, a full-grown male Siberian tiger peed on me through the chain link fence while I was cleaning.
00:30:31
Jesus. Y'all, he did not care that there was a fence. My zoo career ended that day.
00:30:37
I pivoted to volunteering at a vet clinic the next summer and stayed there through high school.
00:30:42
Wow. I mean, this is an animal person. Yeah. This is the one person who can say fur babies to me in all caps.
00:30:48
And I accept it fully. Earned it. Right? Fully earned. And then it says, thank you for being a constant source of comfort, laughter, and just the right amount of chaos.
00:30:59
Stay sexy and let your kids make wildly unsafe zoo memories. Erin. Wow, Erin. And, oh, I think there's a picture of Tigger with Erin.
00:31:08
Oh, let's see. Little Erin and Tigger. Oh. Oh, that's your friend. That's so many people's dream come true.
00:31:18
Dude, mine. As a kid? Yeah. Amazing. And what if, like, I want to know if, like, Erin ever got that moment where she came back to the zoo.
00:31:28
Exactly. That's what I want to know. A haggard old college student. And that little tigger was like, I know you.
00:31:35
My friend. Oh, my God. All right. Send us your what you did for a job as a child at My Favorite Murder at Gmail or whatever else you want to tell us.
00:31:42
That's right. Any kind of lawsuit-y stuff from childhood, we'd love to hear it. That's right.
00:31:46
And until then, stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie?
00:31:55
This has been an Exactly Right production. Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer is Tessa Hughes Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo This episode was mixed by Liana Squalacci Email your hometowns to myfavoritemurder at gmail Follow the show on Instagram at myfavoritemurder Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app
00:32:17
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00:32:22
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00:32:26
can support our show. Goodbye. Vacation planning should feel like a breeze, not a deep dive into countless travel sites searching for the best deal.
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Goodbye.