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Data accurate as of 2020-26. Hello and welcome to My Favorite Murder. That's Georgia Hartstark.
00:01:58
The mini-sode. That's Karen Kilgara. The mini-sode, too. The mini-sode. We're both the mini-sode.
00:02:04
But George is more so the mini-sode today because today is George's birthday. This comes out on my birthday.
00:02:10
I will be traveling through Italy. Now, do you have enough fancy shoes? Because I'll tell you what.
00:02:16
Yeah. They do not tolerate shitty shoes over there. I am really nervous about my style and fashion there because I know that, like, especially Milan.
00:02:25
Yeah. I'll get stoned. No, you know what you'll get is it's the worst thing of anything.
00:02:30
Yeah. It's worse than physical torture. It's worse than anything. It's just kind of like an Italian lady who'll go like this and look down at your shoes.
00:02:38
It happened to me on a ferry, and I wanted to jump over the edge. But what about my hookahs?
00:02:44
No, no, no, no. I need my hookahs. You just look so terrified. But you know what?
00:02:48
If you bring your vintage clothes, I bet you they'll go crazy. Okay. Because you're wearing outfits, and it looks like you care.
00:02:54
I'm going to fucking dress to impress for sure. Do it. happy birthday and I swear to God not as revenge I got you something for your birthday this past
00:03:02
weekend but I was like oh this your your birthday episode won't be for a while I have your birthday
00:03:08
present in my car because I forgot this was a mini so so I'm gonna give it to you on Thursday
00:03:12
great then that gives me a couple days to bring mine in okay what if it's the same thing that
00:03:17
would be incredible okay I'm going first okay right ahoy hoy I'm always funny I'm a year one
00:03:25
listener, not quite day one, but I am from Western Australia and it always takes us a while to catch
00:03:30
up to the rest of the world. I work at Fremantle Prison, which is where I'm writing you from today
00:03:36
on my lunch break, I promise. We don't give a shit. Do your thing. Yeah, get paid to fucking
00:03:41
write us. Firstly, I would like to acknowledge the Woodchuck people as the traditional custodians
00:03:46
of the land on which Fremantle Prison is located. I pay my respects to ancestors and elders,
00:03:52
both past and present, and the ongoing connection between people, land, waters, and community.
00:03:58
I just listened to your Rewind episode number 94, where Georgia covered David and Catherine
00:04:02
Burney. Fuck. So bad. One of the darkest. Just so bad. And decided it's high time I tell you about my fascinating and ghastly workplace.
00:04:11
Fremantle Prison was built by convicts in the 1850s and operated as Perth's maximum
00:04:16
security prison until its closure in 1991. Ooh. Haunted. By 92, it had been converted into a tourist site and is now a UNESCO World Heritage listed building.
00:04:27
Our main cell block is, in fact, the largest convict building in the southern hemisphere with an intact roof.
00:04:34
OK. That's very specific. You have to qualify. UNESCO isn't messing around with like patios and stuff.
00:04:42
Whatever fucking roof over your head. You've got to have a roof. Which goes to show if you can be specific enough with your categorizations, you can be the best at something.
00:04:49
That's right. So who's the other one without the roof, though? That's really funny.
00:04:55
Just one of those courtyard prisons that are so popular. You know those open-air prisons.
00:05:00
Yeah, I think the prison from Papillon was open-air. That sounds terrible. David Burney was a prisoner here from the time he was incarcerated to the prison's closure.
00:05:09
As he was at risk of being harmed by other prisoners, three of the old death row cells were converted into a private apartment for him.
00:05:17
Just to keep him inside? Yeah. Yeah. Side note, the death penalty was abolished in Western Australia in 1984.
00:05:24
The last person to be hanged at Fremantle Prison was Perth's most infamous serial killer, Eric Edgar Cook, a.k.a. the Nightcrawler, who went on a four-year killing spree from 1958 to 63 and was finally executed in 1964.
00:05:39
How have we never heard of this and done it? We must have both looked it up. But that's so early.
00:05:48
Yeah. For a serial killer. Totally. Interesting. And Perth, which is like so far away.
00:05:53
Back to the Bernies. You may think a whole apartment sounds like a pretty sweet deal for David but it one of the dankest most smelly oppressive areas of the prison I usually say if this place is haunted the ghosts sure aren interested in me
00:06:06
But that apartment gives me the heebie-jeebies. One of our tour guides had a boyfriend who lived on the same street as the Bernies back in the 80s.
00:06:14
She remembers walking alone, a 16-year-old girl, to her boyfriend's house, seeing David Bernie and waving hello.
00:06:22
Which is like, that's exactly his type. Yeah. He seemed friendly enough. Thank you for a decade of your dear voices in my ear holes.
00:06:29
If we can lock in another 10, that would be fab. Where do we sign? SSDGM, Kat. Kat, thank you for listening for so long from so far away and telling us about your essentially like a hometown kind of crossover story.
00:06:46
Yeah, and like you work there, so it's cool. Tell us about your rant. We like weird workplaces.
00:06:51
Yes. We've had Smithsonian people write in. like tiny museums from tiny places in the world.
00:06:57
Yeah. We also love the post office. Oh, love the post office. Is it haunted? We've told a couple post office stories.
00:07:03
I bet the post office is haunted somewhere. Here's the thing. Everyone's had to work.
00:07:07
Everyone's got a good work story. Totally. What's happened to you at work? Totally.
00:07:11
Okay. The subject line of this email is, random hippie crashes my mother's college graduation in 70s California.
00:07:18
Oh, God. Right? Have to pick that one. It says, hey, y'all. My mom graduated from UC Santa Cruz, home of the fighting banana slugs, in the late 1970s.
00:07:27
She graduated with a bachelor's in biology, continuing the theme of people on her side of the family studying botany.
00:07:34
Wow. Which I, of course, ended by majoring in theater down here in Texas. And then it says I'm smart, I promise.
00:07:41
At her graduation ceremony, a local woman who didn't attend the school, just lived in the area, was known as the Cosmic Lady.
00:07:49
She made her way on stage to the microphone and told the audience that the Skylab was falling.
00:07:54
Wait, wait, sorry, that what? That Skylab was falling, which was, well, I'll tell you about it in a second.
00:08:00
And if they all concentrated together, they could keep it from falling. A Spanish language professor calmly met her on stage, walked her down to the audience,
00:08:08
and sat her next to him in the front row, keeping his arm around her for the remainder of the ceremony
00:08:13
to keep her from ambushing the stage again. And that man was Paul Onions. Just kidding.
00:08:19
He wasn't. So here's the explanation. And the reason I know about Skylab so well is because Skylab was a space station that was up in the right around 1979.
00:08:33
So it's like a field trip thing for you. You know what it was? I once played Liza Minnelli in my friend's musical about the last night of 1979, Halston's New Year's Eve party that they had at the, what's the famous disco?
00:08:48
Oh, 54. Yeah, it was called Waiting for Studio 54, and it was like everybody getting together before they go out for the night.
00:08:54
Yeah. And I, as Liza Minnelli, sang a song called Skylab is Falling. How are we just hearing about this?
00:09:01
Well, it's just a generational thing because it was like a weird—it was like the kind of pseudo-Haley's Comet accident thing that was happening.
00:09:07
Yeah, but that you played Liza Minnelli. Well— There's been plenty of times for you to fucking mention that.
00:09:13
And now I do the song. No, but it's such a weird thing because apparently in real life, because they were all on a lot of coke at the time,
00:09:22
Liza was obsessed with the fact that Skylab was falling and she thought it was going to fall on her.
00:09:27
And it was this weird paranoia she had. I don't know what that means. Here's the full explanation instead of just me talking about a play I was in once.
00:09:35
So me. Here's the explanation. That's our podcast. I did a musical. As you may already know, Skylab was a space station operated by NASA for several years in the 70s and was the only one they operated exclusively without foreign companies involved.
00:09:49
It did end up falling in 1979, landing in a remote area of Australia outside of Perth.
00:09:57
What the fuck? Outside of Perth. And like we're talking, we were talking about ceilings and buildings and now we're talking about, you know, the sky.
00:10:04
Meet me on the astral plane, man. I guess they didn't concentrate hard enough at this one specific college graduation, which honestly makes sense.
00:10:13
So the woman was basically saying, if we all focus, we can get this thing not to fall.
00:10:17
And it hadn't fallen yet. It was like in the process. Okay, they knew it. I thought she like, no.
00:10:22
She was like guessing? Yeah. No, no, it was like on the news every night. She was like, y'all, this is fucking scary.
00:10:27
Get ready because it could fall anywhere. My mom, not a talented storyteller, just repeats things when my family asks her for an explanation.
00:10:36
I love them. Yeah. Well, Skylab was falling. It was falling. When somebody invariably asks who the cosmic lady was, my mom replies with, you know, the cosmic lady.
00:10:46
That would drive me insane. As if we were there in the 70s and forgot about it and are being little shits about it.
00:10:52
My mom is a very straight-least Christian woman who continually surprises me by knowing how to differentiate by smell different strains of marijuana.
00:11:00
What? She's a mystery. She's the cosmic lady is what I fucking think. Like, that's what it's probably her popular came to her graduation.
00:11:08
Lady, if you know pot that well, the Christianity probably came afterwards. Okay, that's all judgment.
00:11:15
My girlfriend got me hooked on listening to your podcast a year ago, and I'm so glad she did.
00:11:20
Best wishes, Emily. Emily in the Skylab. I learned something new. I mean, that was a real slice of life right there.
00:11:28
Was everyone freaking out and like terrified? Yeah. Especially the people that were on cocaine all the time.
00:11:34
That was a big part of it. Especially Liza Minnelli. Was she specifically worried about?
00:11:39
She was specifically worried about it and it was affecting. She was on some movie shoot and she wouldn't come out of her trailer because she thought Skylab was going to fall.
00:11:48
She just wanted to stay safe where the coke is. Yeah. Fair enough. God, I want to sing this song so bad right now.
00:11:54
Sing it. Skylab is falling out of the clear blue sky You have to do the Skylab falling story It such a good if my friend Laura Milligan musical Waiting for Studio 54 is on YouTube or anything I highly recommend people go find it
00:12:12
Dude! I'm Liza Minnelli. Tom Kenny, a.k.a. SpongeBob ScarPants, is Halston. No, he's such a good Halston.
00:12:20
Doug Benson is Andy Warhol. Oh, my God. My friend Laura, who was five feet tall, was Jerry Hall, wearing like a cowboy hat and a big wig, which was very funny.
00:12:32
Paul Tompkins was Truman Capote. Oh, yes, of course he was. Who else was in this fucking thing?
00:12:41
Oh, let's bring this back. It was the most fun, insane, crazy thing I've ever done.
00:12:46
Fever dream. It was nuts. And everyone had a song. so she wrote individual songs for everybody about where they were at that night.
00:12:54
Oh, is she on Coke? That's crazy. I mean, she has been at times in her life. Let's not throw her out of the way.
00:13:00
No, she's an artist. She's done it all. Amazing. Yeah. Wow. Okay, I know what I'm Googling when I get home.
00:13:06
I mean, I hope it's somewhere because it was really good. Last episode I told you about being in a fucking mall fashion show.
00:13:14
This week you're telling us about, like, we have more to give. There's more to give if we would just try.
00:13:20
It's so funny because I'll talk about it later. Okay. Stop it. Okay. Okay. Missatisfying breads and pastas and want to add protein without going overboard on calories?
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Data accurate as of 2020-26. You're locked into a lot of things you can't change.
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See full terms at mintmobile.com. Trash dad story. Two-minute read. Yes, I timed it.
00:15:30
Okay. I promised a two-minute read, so let's get into it. My dad passed away in October 2023.
00:15:36
This was my kid's first real experience with loss. So to comfort them in times of sadness, I tell funny stories of Grandpa Dana and his shenanigans.
00:15:44
One particular story stood out as a trash dad story. On Wednesdays, we went with my dad, part of the split custody agreement.
00:15:52
Same. And he would bring us home after going to eat or whatever single dads come up with to entertain kids.
00:15:58
So much miniature golf, I can't even tell you. On the way home this Wednesday summer evening, my dad got pulled over.
00:16:05
As the officer walked up, my dad handed me his cell phone. This is 1993, so think Saved by the Bell, Zach Morris-style brick phone.
00:16:13
Oh. No, like fucking, yeah. That guy, Jesus. And said, quote, if I get arrested, call my lawyer.
00:16:19
Oh, Jesus Christ. That's it. No number to call, no explanation. I'm 11 years old, all caps.
00:16:28
My little brother is nine and in the back seat, all caps. What the actual fuck, Dana?
00:16:34
He's going to get arrested? Well, here's a go. The officer checks his license and info, gives him a warning, and off we go, me still freaking out, thinking I was going to have to explain to my mom why my dad went to jail in front of us and how I learned to use a cell phone on the fly.
00:16:49
As we drive away, my dad chuckles and says, well, that was close. Then he reaches over and opens his glove box to show us at least 30 unpaid parking and speeding tickets.
00:17:00
Oh, Jesus. You getting flashbacks? Well, I just thought it was going to be like my cousin Lisa, where one time I opened her glove box and it just bags of weed fell out.
00:17:09
And then she like slammed it back up and goes, that's not mine. I'm holding it for someone.
00:17:13
And I didn't know what it was because I was like seven years old. I was like, can you just take me to 4-H?
00:17:19
Oh, my God. I bet it was like not that much, but you were a little kid. So you were like, it was bags and bags.
00:17:23
It seemed like bags and bags. Yeah. But it was also 1978. Right. So it was just like.
00:17:28
Shitty weed anyway. Yeah. Stems and seeds. I never told my mom this story until my dad's celebration of life where we all laughed and reminisced about what a rascal my dad was.
00:17:38
My dad was my best friend, and I think about him and miss him every day. But his memory lives on in me, my brother, and my children.
00:17:46
As a lifelong resident of Wichita I also have fun stories about the BTK killer Dennis Rader including how the police thought my mom was a victim Spoiler alert she wasn Diana is still alive to this day and how he taught my husband to make fire as his Boy Scout leader And it says thanks Dennis But this story about my dad means
00:18:06
so much more to me and gives me a chance to talk about what a funny, crazy dad I got to have.
00:18:11
Stay sexy and always pay your parking tickets, Caroline. Caroline, your dad was a badass. Yeah. Because he's getting speeding and parking tickets and
00:18:21
just throwing them, throwing them in a thing and being like, I'll deal with it later.
00:18:24
There is nothing like this era from like the 80s through the mid-90s of divorce dad.
00:18:31
Yeah. It's all trash dad because they didn't know what the fuck they were doing.
00:18:36
Yeah. It was kind of they were blazing a new trail of ways to live life. Right. And thinking they were like, yeah, I'm going to like I'm going to get a second wife in my secretary and date a girl that's 22.
00:18:47
And they just blew shit up. Totally. And then were like drunk at Sizzler crying at their children.
00:18:53
Yes. I went to Sizzler so many times with my dad as a child. I cannot even tell you that salad bar was fucking kicking.
00:19:01
It still is. That salad bar, I mean, didn't they have like— Fried chicken and fucking meatball halves and stuff.
00:19:08
Nacho cheese everywhere. So good. Still around. That'll get you over a divorce. Okay. The subject line of this email is an unintentional exorcist reenactment. Picture it. It just goes right into it. Picture it.
00:19:22
Chiller Theater Horror Convention in Parsippany, New York. What? No. In Parsippany, New Jersey.
00:19:27
Sure. 2012. Where everything happens. Parsippany. It sounds like there's a lot of gardens.
00:19:33
It's like, it sounds like it's very salt of the earth. They have a very specific style of Victorian houses.
00:19:40
Yes. And like, you have to paint them a certain color or get fined by the city. It's like every person in every house is a kooky aunt.
00:19:46
Yeah. How do they per capita have so many kooky aunts? And can we move there now, please?
00:19:51
Parsippany. get me my funny apron who invited all these tacky people i'm in possephone new jersey
00:19:59
i'm 27 cute single bubbly and high masking with undiagnosed autism and adhd god that makes me tired for you it's just i saw a tiktok and it was about how adh people find each
00:20:14
other no matter where they're where they are and it absolutely described you and i meeting for the
00:20:19
first time. It is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Okay. Anyway, I was working for my
00:20:24
chiropractor back home in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. We were both Turkish American, so our relationship
00:20:29
was more friendship than strictly professional. He loved telling me wild stories about the
00:20:33
celebrities he'd adjusted, complete with photo evidence. Oh my God. And I would just sit there
00:20:39
wide-eyed. Celebrities he's adjusted. Can you imagine? That's a HIPAA violation for sure. For
00:20:45
sure except he's a chiropractor so maybe there's no agreement it can't be no agreement no offense
00:20:50
chiropractors it's just all vibes it's all turkish vibes he got invited to work on celebrities at a
00:20:57
nearby horror convention and asked me to come along as his assistant he told me he wouldn't
00:21:02
know which celebrities he'd be working on until the day of but honestly i didn't care i was just
00:21:06
thrilled to be there it was my first ever celebrity convention passippany it's one of the ones where
00:21:13
Vince goes to those where people from movies, from TV shows in the 60s come and take photos with you and sign things.
00:21:19
Yes, exactly. But this is a horror movie one. Right. It's like if Bela Lugosi was alive, he'd be there.
00:21:25
That's all you got. Freddy Krueger. Exactly. Yes. Okay. I could have pulled his name if I'd had 15 seconds.
00:21:32
But the menopausal brain is just like the lights are shutting down. Yeah. Okay. When we arrived, I had a couple hours to wander before I had to report back.
00:21:43
In that time, I had a lovely conversation with Michael Constantine, the dad from my big fat Greek wedding.
00:21:49
I also met John Astin, the original Gomez from the Addams Family, who was also Sean Astin from the Hobbit movies, his dad.
00:21:58
Butch Patrick, Eddie Munster, and awkwardly prom posed with Dean Cain from the Lois and Clark TV show.
00:22:04
Okay. That's not, that's not, that's like a solid B plus level. It is, although Dean Cain, it says this was pre-Trump, so I was fully geeking out over Superman with his big arms around me.
00:22:15
Okay. Then it says I met back up with Dr. Kent. He casually tells me he's going to bring me up to Linda Blair's hotel room while he adjusts her.
00:22:24
I don't think I need to explain what The Exorcist means to a horror fan, but just in case, it is my favorite horror movie of all time.
00:22:31
and at 27, with completely unmedicated ADHD and zero emotional regulation skills,
00:22:37
I was not equipped to handle this level of autistic joy. We go up to her room. I sit in a chair next to the bed while Dr. Kent starts adjusting her.
00:22:46
I try to keep it together. I really do, but I can't. So I blurt out something like,
00:22:50
I can't believe this is happening. The Exorcist is my favorite horror movie. And that's when it happens.
00:22:56
Linda Blair is lying on the bed across from me as Dr. Kent cracks her neck violently to one side.
00:23:00
Well, that's an adjustment. Yeah, but it also sounds like the movie. Yes. She suddenly shoots upright, locks eyes with me, and hisses,
00:23:08
stop talking about the fucking exorcist. Oh, no. I thought she'd be cool. And then slams herself back down on the bed.
00:23:15
I cannot begin to describe the emotional cocktail I experienced in that moment. Terror, shame, embarrassment, all of the above.
00:23:22
But more importantly, I'm now watching Linda Blair's head move in deeply unsettling directions on a hotel bed.
00:23:29
So I shut the fuck up. She says something after that about the movie being about faith and evil, but I fully dissociated at that point.
00:23:36
After a few more minutes of adjustments and me sitting there in absolute silence, she gets up, walks over to me and apologizes.
00:23:42
Her exact words, she was sorry for, quote, going all exorcist on my ass. End quote.
00:23:48
All right. She explained that she has a lot of trauma tied to the film and was also in a great deal of physical pain.
00:23:54
Oh. Then she opened her arms and we hugged it out. Oh. They say never meet your heroes.
00:24:00
But honestly, even though this encounter went horribly wrong and nothing like I imagined, I would also argue that it was absolutely the perfect way to meet Linda Blair, not just the icon, but the perfect human.
00:24:11
And on that note, stay sexy and let the power of Christ compel you. Do I go. She, her.
00:24:19
Wow. But here's the thing. She's getting her neck adjusted. Yeah. And then everything that just got described literally sounds like that horrible scene in The Exorcist.
00:24:31
Yeah. And she, remember we covered this in probably episode 11 or something? She hurt her back really badly in those scenes.
00:24:39
Oh, God. So that's why she needs a chiropractor. Yes. She's young in that movie.
00:24:44
She got flipped all over the place. Like, it wasn't good. Jesus. And then now years later, it's like she's trying to get a fucking adjustment.
00:24:51
Here's a reminder of why you're even in this position. And it's like, I love your movie.
00:24:56
Okay, counter argument. She's at a horror convention. Of course someone's going to talk about The Exorcist.
00:25:02
But not in a private room, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, it's understandable.
00:25:06
And then it's just like, the thing is that I think, like, somebody like Linda Blair, it's like, and I bet you she was in the middle of it.
00:25:14
But she's like, she's an icon. And it's hard to know. She doesn't know she's an icon.
00:25:18
She's like, oh, this is just a movie that fucked my back and neck up. Yeah. But actually people are just like, this is my favorite genre.
00:25:26
man, girl. Also, I love that it was like the full story there because it would have sucked if it had just been like,
00:25:32
and what a bitch for doing that, where it's like, no, no, no. No, she wouldn't have been,
00:25:35
but it's very cool that she was also lovely. Yeah. Missatisfying breads and pastas
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The message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop.
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Intro rate first three months only. Then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra.
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See full terms at mintmobile.com. Okay, this one is called, oh, my last one is one of my favorite stories.
00:27:45
Okay. It's got a lot of different things that we've asked for throughout the years.
00:27:50
I'm not going to reach the subject line. When I was in middle school, my mom randomly told us we were going to the pound to find a dog.
00:27:56
We found the cutest little black dog whose origins we did not know, but he looked like a mix between a black lab and a wiener dog.
00:28:03
We named him Otis. That's a great dog name. Such a good dog name. Yeah. My friend has a cat named Otis.
00:28:09
That doesn't matter. Okay. Otis would like to get out of our dog door and then sneak out of the fenced-in backyard and take himself on walks around the neighborhood while we were at school and work.
00:28:21
Yeah. Sound familiar. Yeah. He would come back on his own when he was ready or be returned to our parents by some nice neighbor who would simply call my mom.
00:28:28
So no big deal right Well one day he escaped to go on his adventures around the neighborhood but this time did not return My family searched for him for days and then that turned into weeks
00:28:40
and this time no one called. My three-year-old nephew was living with us at the time, and that
00:28:45
dog was his best friend. So naturally he was crushed. My parents stopped by the pound every
00:28:51
day for weeks looking for him with no luck. They had given up hope, not sure what to do,
00:28:57
when one day my mom was driving past the penitentiary in our town. The penitentiary was located out of the way,
00:29:04
so it was random that she took the route right by it that day. And while driving, she looked over and yelled,
00:29:09
Hey, that looks like Otis. She was looking at the yard inside the penitentiary. She whipped the car around, parked, and walked over to the fence
00:29:17
about 30 yards from where an inmate was training a little black dog and yelled, Otis!
00:29:23
He came running over immediately. There was still a large fence with barbed wire in between them, but my mom knew it was our Otis.
00:29:32
It's the first line. You asked for dogs in prison, so here is a story for that. We did?
00:29:38
Well, but I think it was the thing of like, you know, that that's a program that they do of like training dogs.
00:29:44
Wait, there's more. Okay. She asked the inmate how he got that dog, and he quickly and nervously said, you need to speak to the pound and ran off.
00:29:51
He could get into a lot of trouble for speaking to someone who is randomly standing outside the fence.
00:29:56
Fair enough. Yes. So she drove over to the pound immediately. This is so fucked up.
00:30:00
And after much insistence, they finally told her that the dog she had been inquiring about was in a program called Prison Pups,
00:30:07
where an inmate is assigned a dog from the pound and trains them to be ready for a home.
00:30:11
And in exchange, the inmate gets time off their sentence. So they knew that that dog was in the prison the whole time that they were checking in?
00:30:19
But wait, there's more. Okay. This is one of those, like the story we talked about, like the woman keeping the dog she found that didn't fall.
00:30:26
You know, it's like, what would you do? But this is actually really bad. Okay. But the lady who was running the pound at the time insisted that the dog was not Otis.
00:30:36
We think they had put a lot of time slash paperwork with Otis to get him into the program.
00:30:41
So they did not want to pull him out at this point. She had like a quota to meet of dogs to get put in this prison program.
00:30:49
And so she was fucking taking people's— Also, you know, I have the story of George climbing that goddamn fence.
00:30:56
Yeah. And that's what she would do. Yeah. I think people get really mad when—if that—if they look at you as like you're a terrible pet owner.
00:31:03
Right. And the people that are sincerely, again, please go listen to my story about what was actually happening with George.
00:31:09
But when dogs get out like that, they could get hit by cars. So there's—I think there was a neighbor in my neighborhood when I had to go spring her from the pound one day.
00:31:18
because they're just like, you can't have a dog if your dog is going to get out all the time.
00:31:22
Sure. I accidentally kidnapped a cat for that same reason. I'm like, there's no outdoor cats in this fucking neighborhood.
00:31:27
There's coyotes everywhere. Yeah. And I wasn't wrong. You're just trying to do some good in this world.
00:31:34
That's right. Me and Salem, we're now fucking bonded for life. Okay. My mom, not one to let down, returned the next day with a full 30-page photo album of Otis with our family.
00:31:45
My mom loved her camera. A lot of the photos being of Otis with my nephew. And to seal the deal, she also brought my little three-year-old nephew with her.
00:31:55
A little heartbroken boy looking for his dog must have finally melted the stubborn employee's heart.
00:32:01
And she gave in and admitted that the dog was in fact Otis. Fuck. I mean, the fact that the woman came for weeks every day to the pound shows you that this was a dog that was loved.
00:32:11
You know what I mean? It's not like no one came for him. But almost like it's the more that person comes, the more that the person who made that decision has to stick by it and has to tell themselves.
00:32:22
But she would think it didn't happen for a couple weeks at least. Because there's enough time to sign Otis up for this program.
00:32:28
Were they hiding Otis? Well, I mean, it sounds like it. Or she was like Otis already got funneled into the program.
00:32:35
It's crazy. They agreed to give him back after we paid a $150 fee, of course. The employee also tried to charge my mom an additional $275 for a neutering fee.
00:32:46
We had to get him neutered when we got him years before, so this was already done.
00:32:51
Oh. In which my mom replied, quote, Well, that is strange. I did not know you could cut their balls off twice.
00:32:58
The lady again relented and removed that fee. When all the paperwork was done they opened the door and Otis ran into the arms of my nephew knocking him down with joy My little nephew was in tears Otis returned home and never escaped again He like sorry I not going back to
00:33:15
I didn't mean to go to prison, guys. I thought I was going to like a fucking candy factory or something or like a chicken,
00:33:21
roasted chicken place. He grew old with his little boy for several more years until the ripe old age of 16.
00:33:29
My mom, too, has since passed, but she was never one to give up on her family, especially a boy and his best friend.
00:33:36
Otis lived an adventurous life and we have many more stories but this is the one about how he got locked up
00:33:41
did hard time and eventually broke free. Thank you for all you do and for providing such a great space
00:33:48
to return to every Monday and Thursday. Hey. And Wednesday. Stay safe and don't give up the search.
00:33:54
Maybe even look in the pen. Love, Laura. And then there's a picture of the dog and it also says P.S.
00:34:00
My mom's name was Vicky with an I at the end. Nice. There's Otis. Otis. Look, he looks traumatized.
00:34:06
Like, oh, man. He's like, listen, I made some bad decisions. At least I'm here with my friend again.
00:34:12
Look at how 80s and 90s that comforter is that he's laying on. It looks like one of those cups.
00:34:17
Doesn't it? It's like get some ice, get some Sprite. That dog also, the odds of that dog being outside while she drives by.
00:34:27
Totally. Like that's fate. Totally. It just wasn't supposed to be in that program.
00:34:32
Yeah. Get them off the streets. So funny. Okay, here's my last one. And this is, if that story had all the elements of things we love, this one does too.
00:34:44
Great. The subject line is 90s prom money machine. Hey, pals, you want money machine stories?
00:34:51
How about one with all the hairsprayed glamour of the late 1990s? Just like in all the iconic teen movies of that great decade, prom was a big deal at our Colorado high school.
00:35:02
My junior year, 1999, saw my date and I, along with most of our friends in the theater department,
00:35:08
renting a double-decker bus to help us arrive at the dance in style. Oh, my God.
00:35:13
It's so embarrassing. Where did you even find that in Colorado? How much money did they have to pay?
00:35:21
A lot of money. To get a double-decker bus. I'm already worried, though, but tell me.
00:35:26
But for all the Jessica McClintock dresses and awkward slow dancing, the real main event was after prom.
00:35:32
And that's capital A, capital P, capital P. Our school's PTA was incredibly dedicated to ensuring that unlike in those classic movies, their kids would not spend the rest of the night drinking and making out in someone's unfinished basement or worse, out on the roads.
00:35:47
Oh, sorry. It says finished basement. I'm from a different part of town. I want to go party in an unfinished basement.
00:35:53
That's where all of ours, there was always like a can of like a weed killer on the wall as you were in a slow dancing.
00:36:01
The oldest washer and dryer you've ever seen. Yeah. They pull the car out, you go in there, you start slow dancing.
00:36:08
They planned for weeks to completely transform the school into an unbelievable wonderland,
00:36:13
which they would quickly install within a mere 12 hours while we were prepping and preening,
00:36:17
snapping photos, pretending we belonged in a fancy restaurant, and then dancing away at some
00:36:23
event hall. After prom was a chance for us kids to kick off the high heels, change into jeans,
00:36:28
but keep the carefully applied makeup and curled hair intact, of course, and really let loose.
00:36:33
There was always a different theme, and the year our story takes place, that theme was movies.
00:36:40
Themes are so fucking ridiculous. It's either movies or underwater. Those are basically the
00:36:46
two themes. What about hot dogs? Can the theme be hot dogs? Can't we roll in some hot dogs?
00:36:54
How about Picasso as a theme? Modern art. Think of car cutouts and benches lined up for the hallway drive-in
00:37:01
projecting grease onto a giant screen and serving popcorn and candy. A James Bond-themed casino
00:37:06
where you would sip mocktails and martini glasses. Wow. A Titanic room with a papier-mâché iceberg
00:37:12
and a ship's bow where Captain Smith would marry you and your date. complete with cheap plastic gold rings and a fancy printed certificate.
00:37:22
Damn. The official entrance to this particular after prom dropped you right into Jurassic Park.
00:37:28
Wow. This is a rich kid's school. Fuck yeah, it is. You and your date would climb into a blow-up raft to paddle across the school's pool.
00:37:37
Pool? What? We didn even have a cafeteria for fuck sake I from a rich fucking town and we didn have a fucking pool Pool which was lined with palm trees and dinosaur cutouts fog rolling across the water and the movie iconic theme song blaring from the speakers
00:37:53
Wow. It was amazing. Stephen would die. Stephen would not survive. But amid all this Hollywood hoopla, where's the money machine, you might be thinking?
00:38:03
It all ties back to that 007 casino where you could gamble and earn chips that you then exchanged for raffle tickets.
00:38:10
All the usual prizes were there from restaurant and Starbucks gift cards to CDs to autographed sports memorabilia.
00:38:16
And then in parentheses it says these parents really did work hard to make this a can't miss event.
00:38:21
Yeah, they fucking did. I want to go. But there was one prize that stood out from the rest, all caps, a chance to go in the money machine.
00:38:29
And guess who was lucky enough to win one of those turns? That's right. Yours truly.
00:38:34
So into the machine I stepped in front of all the students assembled in the gym for the event's grand finale.
00:38:40
This was my chance. Wait, what's this person's name? I want a picture. Lindsay with an E-Y.
00:38:48
Lindsay. So this was my chance. It turned on and the ringlets from my updo flew.
00:38:54
But my rhinestone tiara held fast. However, I had chosen to change from my shiny satin ball gown into a spaghetti strap tank top and boot cut jeans from Express.
00:39:05
I didn't have a chance of ballooning my shirt and capturing all those fluttering bills.
00:39:09
In the end, I was lucky enough to snag about $20, which was plenty for me to treat my date to breakfast at Village Inn with our friends before the magical night morning came to a close.
00:39:20
All in all, a pretty great experience, but I definitely learned a lesson. Stay sexy and don't rely on spaghetti straps.
00:39:26
Oops, Lindsay. Wow. Those money booths. Man. Remember when the chick got stuck in one at Chuck E. Cheese?
00:39:37
She was being greedy in the money booth? Firefighters had to come get her out. To be like, sorry, I know.
00:39:43
This is for kids. I know. I'm sorry. Have you ever been stuck in a machine at Chuck E. Cheese?
00:39:50
Has anything ever happened to you? We love that it's happened to you and we want to hear about it.
00:39:55
That's right. Send us your stories at myfavoritemurder at Gmail. And stay sexy. And don't get murdered.
00:40:00
Goodbye. Elvis, do you want a cookie? This has been an Exactly Right production.
00:40:12
Our senior producer is Molly Smith and our associate producer is Tessa Hughes. Our editor is Aristotle Acevedo.
00:40:17
This episode was mixed by Liana Squalachi. Email your hometowns to myfavoritemurder at gmail.com.
00:40:22
Follow the show on Instagram at myfavoritemurder. Listen to My Favorite Murder on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:40:30
And now you can watch My Favorite Murder on Netflix. And when you're there, hit the double thumbs up and the remind me buttons.
00:40:35
That's the best way you can support our show. Goodbye. Goodbye. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile.
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I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same premium wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying.
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I'm told it's super easy to do at mintmobile.com slash switch. Upfront payment of $45 for three-month plan, equivalent to $15 per month required.
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Intro rate first three months only, then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra.
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Default terms at mintmobile.com. This episode is brought to you in part by Vital Farms.
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