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Hey weirdos, I'm Alaina. >> I'm Ash. >> And this is a morbid bonus episode. >> It's a [ __ ] bonus. Before we
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get into it, must or might I say, your hair has such a good swoop right now. >> Oh, thank you.
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>> I just noticed the swoopage that your hair has. >> It just did it and I said, "Wow."
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>> Sometimes it falls into a good swoop and sometimes it falls into a swoop that
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makes me look crazy. >> No, it's a great swoop. You're giving Patricia actual >> Oh, that's a swoop.
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>> That's a nice swoop. >> That's a swoopaloupe. >> swoop, there it is. >> I'm into it.
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And you know what we're going to be covering today, everybody? >> Eclipse. >> Eclipse.
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>> We're going to do it. >> I'm excited. This is, I think, my least favorite of the five movies.
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>> Yeah, it's pretty gnarly. >> But, it's there's fun parts of this. >> Oh, yeah. There's a lot to talk about.
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So, but before we get into that, really, really quick, go check out my socials really quick. I mentioned it on the last
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Morbid episode, but if you have been looking for to pre-order a signed copy of The Butcher Legacy, cuz I know some
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people are looking for some signed copies cuz they were gone at Barnes & Noble, go check out my socials cuz I
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partnered with Premiere Collectibles and I signed a bunch more book plates that we're going to be putting on The Butcher
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Legacy and you can go snatch them up right now. It's a limited quality quantity, not quality. It's very
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>> It's high quality. >> Very high quality. They're super high quality. >> But, they're limited quantity of them.
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So, go grab them, pre-order your signed copy of The Butcher Legacy. I signed them in the pod lab with my hands.
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They are signed. Or you can And you can go to premiercollectibles.com/butcher and the link will be in our bio on our
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socials. >> Hell yeah. >> So go do that. And you know, I I'll keep signing as much as I can.
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>> She better. >> You know, I'll keep doing it. As long as you guys want it, I'll do it.
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>> I mean, what more can you ask for, people? >> Uh but now Eclipse. >> Into the show.
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>> Let's [ __ ] talk about this god. I reread the book in one day. >> In like a day and a half, I would
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>> Oh, okay. >> Okay. >> Um I'm and I like speed read like it wasn't a >> Yeah. Let me Let me envelop myself in
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this world. >> That's probably good. >> Um but actually it's behind me and I need it for reference. Uh
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When I tell you this [ __ ] has a copy of Eclipse that is full Yeah. of little posted notes.
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>> I do. We should put We should post them. >> Yeah, we absolutely should with the with
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the bonus. That's insane. >> Yeah. I got I got into it. So >> have a Google Doc like a normal person.
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>> Yeah, I got one of those, too. >> But so we got So we got this The book is a wild ride in my opinion.
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Um >> Yeah, cuz I think the characters in the book are so much worse than they are in
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the movie. >> They are. And I feel like that goes throughout the series. >> Yeah.
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>> Not all the characters, but >> No, not all of them. >> And we're we'll get into this for sure,
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but Charlie is [ __ ] terrible in the book. >> And Jacob, I would say, is worse.
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>> Yeah, he might be a little worse. Yeah, he actually is. I would say. >> I mean, he's pretty bad in the movie,
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like >> He is. In this movie, like let's Let's get into it. >> Let's get into it. Well, first of all,
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let me tell you So this book came out August 7th, 2007, the Eclipse book. >> I was 11. Holy [ __ ]
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>> Um I was out of high school. >> You were 21. >> Um yep. And the movie came out June
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24th, 2010. Okay. So just to give you some kind of idea on that. Uh I also looked up the box office cuz I was
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really interested to see at this point what the box office was doing. Eclipse actually is the highest grossing film of
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the series domestically. Yeah. >> Um I guess it was made for 68 point The budget was 68.5 million.
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>> Oh, wow. >> It made 760 million worldwide. >> Holy [ __ ] >> So they made back that budget.
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>> say so. That's crazy. I don't think I saw this one in theaters. >> I >> I can't remember though.
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>> Cannot remember. >> Yeah, for some reason I can't. I think I watched it like when it came to
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like on demand. >> Yeah. >> I can't remember. On demand, yeah. Yeah, I can't remember. I know I know we
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together saw one of the Breaking Dawns in theaters. I think it was the first one.
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>> Yeah, we definitely saw at least one of them. >> Yeah. But I You know what? In this one I
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have to say it's shocking like the character cuz Edward has like weird character growth.
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>> But also he like falls back. >> Well, and Jacob just tumbles backwards. Like he devolves in a way.
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>> can't even I feel like it's a cat guy I know she's she didn't mean to she says but
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Stephanie Meyer's but or Meyer but I It's like a character assassination of >> Oh, I fully think so.
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>> I fully think so. Because you and I were talking about it like before we started
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recording this. And in part two you understand Jacob. Like he can be a little much for sure with like his
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feelings for Bella but like he's rightfully angry at Edward for abandoning her in the woods which is
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crazy. >> Absolutely. >> And you know, they're growing. They're hanging out all the time. They feel They
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have feelings for each other. >> Yeah. >> So you can And then like, you know, Edward comes back and or like she goes
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to get Edward and he's like, "What the fuck?" And he's like rightfully angry. He doesn't make like the best choices.
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>> Yeah. >> But then in this one he just assaults Bella. >> He loses his goddamn mind.
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>> Yeah. >> He loses his goddamn mind in this one. >> Yeah. >> And he's like snarky as [ __ ] in this
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one. >> Yeah. >> But it doesn't work because like Jacob he has like a little edge.
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>> He's a werewolf, so I guess he like you know, he's got a little something. >> Yeah.
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>> To him. They're like a little edge. Like but like it's a little it's too much it's not
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it's not charming. >> Well, that's the thing. It's not like a sexy edge. It's like it's like you're a
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douchebag edge. >> I'm genuinely worried about my safety kind of edge and that's not where you
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want to be. >> like beyond an edge. >> Yeah, but but Edward I got to say because like in the first two books and
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in the first two movies Edward is weird. Not great. >> Guys, like like when I was first reading
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this I remember being like oh my god vampire. >> Oh yeah. >> And even now I'm like oh my god vampire.
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Now I'm just kind of like wow, you're like really controlling. >> Yeah. >> And you also treat Bella like she's like
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a tiny baby child and everything. >> Like I've said it the last couple that we've done of these, they Ed uh
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Bella is so baby girl coded. >> She's so baby girl coded. >> It's like >> Oh my god.
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>> to explain things to her. He's like well, you just don't get it cuz you're just like a small little girl.
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>> Well, and also like while we're talking about that, I saw a lot of people saying
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cuz I was just like reading online forums and stuff. Alice is very similar to Edward in that
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way. They make it seem like her and and Bella are like bestie girls. >> Yep. >> But a lot of times she's kind of
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manipulated or not even kind of just like straight up manipulating Bella into Edward's every whim.
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>> Yeah. >> Like he offers her a Porsche to kidnap Bella so that she doesn't go see Jacob
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in the book. >> Yeah. >> And it's like what? >> And what? >> in like obviously I'm getting a little
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bit ahead of myself, but I know in the in the movie it kind of ends with like they're going to get married and
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la-di-da-di-da and Alice is going to plan the whole thing. She Alice like kind of forces Bella into letting her
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plan the whole thing in the book. >> Yeah. >> And it's like >> does. >> Okay. >> And she steps in a lot and is like and
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it's like it's masked like do you see like you said as like oh we're just best friends
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and I'm just like I this is who I am and I just love doing this but I'm sorry if
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like she keeps jumping in and being like I got you this dress that you can wear for this thing.
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>> Right. >> can look like this for this. >> Right. >> And I think you should do that for that
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and it's like >> doll. >> Just let me and it's like she wants to plan all the parties which it's like that on
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the surface yeah nice cool she's good at planning parties like that's fine but it's like underneath that is like I'm
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controlling everything. >> Yeah. >> And this is all mine. >> Right. >> And also you're going to own me.
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>> Exactly. >> Eventually that's how I see it. >> It's one thing for her to plan like the
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prom party or whatever the grad I I can't remember if it's the prom party or the graduation party that she throws and
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honestly might be >> all of them. >> But your wedding? >> Yeah. >> Like it you can have somebody help you
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plan that but >> her birthday, her wedding, her graduation party. >> to plan a party babe.
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>> Like at least or at least give her the option to. Like no one really gives Bella the option to do anything.
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>> No they even tell her how they how she feels about them. >> Oh Jacob loves telling her how she feels
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and that's and even Edward it's like who I'm saying has some growth here but like
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by no means is perfect. It's like he he just don't he doesn't listen to the fact that she's sitting there at one
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point cuz like obviously the whole thing in this is like Bella is like super horned up and just is like can we please
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just [ __ ] And he and Edward is like very against it. >> I'm going to I'll kill you.
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>> And and that and he's like I'll kill you blah blah blah. >> control. >> he's like okay when we're married. I
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want to wait until I'm married. And it's like But she that doesn't really make sense.
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>> One >> you don't like and obviously you both have to like decide this but when she's
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talking about it, she's basically saying especially in the book that like she's like I want to do this before I'm
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a vampire which is fair. I'm a human, I want to experience this as a human because I don't know who I'm going to be
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when I'm a vampire. I'm not going to be just this anymore. >> Yeah. >> And he's like yeah, yeah, like no,
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you'll still be my Bella. And it's like no, she didn't ask that. She didn't ask her what she will be to you. She wants
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to like and you're just not listening to her. >> Nobody listens to her. >> And it's like and obviously again, she's
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not like she can force him to do it. Like he gets a choice in this as well. >> But they're not having a back and forth.
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>> Yeah, it felt like he just wasn't like when he just says well, you'll always be
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my Bella. I was like that's not the point. >> just like it's literally just like
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>> Yeah, like it's just like this isn't about you. This is about her right now. Like let her tell you how she's feeling
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here. And it's like and then there's that like whole thing about like you know, do you not trust that I'm
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going to turn you? I'm going to keep my promise? And like and then he's like how
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do I know that you're not going to get what you want and then refuse to marry me right away? And I was like do you see
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how this is not a good relationship if you guys are questioning all this? >> Do you see how you're 17 years old and
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you want to experience more of life? >> But I do have to give it to Edward. When
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I say he had growth, like in this one he starts kind of like we're saying before, he's like very like baby
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girl and he still is but in this one he least says several times that he trusts uh Bella's judgment yeah and that if she
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feels like something is right or the right thing to do, he just has to trust her regardless of how he feels.
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>> But it's only in certain aspects because like I said, he literally offers Alice a
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Porsche to go kidnap Bella so that she doesn't make a choice that she wanted to make.
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>> Exactly. And that's and he but he is honestly, I'll give him this, he's so [ __ ] patient with the Jacob [ __ ] He
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is Oh, >> What? >> In the movie, it starts right away and she when I she just hops on the back of
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Jacob's bike when he is like, "Okay, like let's go to the reservation and I'll tell you everything that Edward
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hasn't told you." It's like >> and just leaves him standing there. It's like >> I can't imagine if my man's was Edward
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and I hopped on the back of somebody else's bike. My man's would not put up with that.
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>> Especially not your enemy. >> him to. >> It's your mortal enemy. >> That's crazy.
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>> Like I had I was watching this on my my laptop this morning and my girls were
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like sitting doing something like near me and so they were kind of like every now and then again looking over and
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being like, "What is this?" So I was explaining like the very generalized version of like this is what Twilight
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is. And so every once in a while my oldest would look over and at one point she saw
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like Bella and Edward interacting and she saw it a couple of times and at one point after like the third time she
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goes, "They don't seem like they really like each other that much." And I was like, "I know." Like she was like,
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"They're just always like like snapping at each other. Like that doesn't seem like a nice relationship."
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>> Well, it's funny because like they are snapping at each other all the time like
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as characters but like also just as two humans they don't really have a lot of chemistry which is insane cuz they were
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together. >> Yeah. >> Like they were like madly in love supposedly. >> Yeah. >> Uh yeah, it's pretty and at one point I
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was pretty proud cuz that like towards the end of it all three of my girls agreed that they would pick neither.
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>> That's good. >> I was like, "Good for you." >> They were like, "Yeah, it doesn't make
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sense." And one of my middle was like she was like, "Well, I don't really understand how she can pick either
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because they both hate each other. And if you're friends with one and trying to like date the other, that won't work if
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they hate the other person." I was like "You are more logical than adults here are."
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>> Also like we're they're being raised so differently than we were cuz I was like,
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"Oh my god, you got to pick a bird." Oh my god. I was like, "Don't pick either of these fools."
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>> Yeah, no. >> No, I was like, "Pick Charlie." >> Not book Charlie. >> Not book Charlie.
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>> Pick you can pick Zaddy Charlie from the >> Holy [ __ ] not book Charlie. Book
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Charlie. Like maybe we should do we're going to be out of order here cuz I we don't do
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these in like a narration. So we'll just be out of shooting the [ __ ] >> Charlie?
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>> Yeah. >> Charlie? Literally is the worst. Let me open my book. Book Charlie is a How did
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you even organize that? >> Is an [ __ ] on a on a way I can't even describe. >> I'm just going to go through. You might
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get to >> post-its >> over here. >> Yeah, just like tons of post-its. >> her flicking through this?
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>> You probably will. >> Flickety flick flick. >> Look at the flick of that >> got to find where I wrote, "What the
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[ __ ] Charlie?" Cuz that's one of the things I wrote. >> Are you going to read an excerpt?
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>> Here, hold on. "What the [ __ ] is this, Charlie?" >> She She did in fact write that.
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>> Yeah. So, in uh chapter nine in the book when I think he's talking about how like
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he wants her to call Jacob. He's like trying to push that whole thing. And she's kind of being like, "No, I
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don't want to deal with this and like, you know, get out of my business" kind of thing. He's like, "Aren't you going
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to call him?" And she's like, "No." And she goes up the stairs. And he says, and
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I quote, "That's not very attractive behavior, Bella. Forgiveness is divine." Charlie.
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What? I said, "Excuse me?" >> Numero uno, what a weird [ __ ] thing to say to your daughter?
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>> The day that I hear >> behavior. >> tell one of my daughters, "That's not very attractive behavior."
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>> I'm not trying to be attractive. >> day I light him on fire. Like that's insane. You just get rid of the whole
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thing. >> Yeah, I'll come over. I'll hold >> You can't save that. Like, why are you
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saying that to your daughter, first of all? >> forgiveness is divine. >> Forgiveness is divine.
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>> even know what we're arguing about. >> Shut the [ __ ] up. You're uninformed, my
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god. >> You're very uninformed, and I have more stupid Charlie [ __ ] in the book here.
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>> Well, because even when he is informed, he doesn't really give a [ __ ] >> Oh, yeah, cuz I I have another thing
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that just says Charlie in here. Um and this is in like a in the 300s range, and it's after
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uh Jacob has forced himself on Bella kissing her. >> Yeah. >> And which we'll get to that, because
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that whole scene in the book is even more upsetting. >> Read that scene first, cuz I think you
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need to hear how it's described in the book before you hear Charlie's reaction. >> so let me get to the to the part in the
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book where >> you here. I'm like, "Hold on, backtrack." Cuz so even in the movie,
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just while you're looking for that, I'll go through it. Even in the movie, like he kisses her forcefully, and it's a lot
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in the movie. But in the book, it is a million times worse. >> That's the And in the In the movie, it
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happens so fast. >> And it's like still upsetting. >> But it's kind of like but you're like,
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"Oh god." And she kind of pushes him away and is like, "What the fuck?" Like you know.
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>> Yeah. In the book, this is how it says the first kiss. This is what it says. Um so
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first, she starts to object, but it was too late. He stopped her before she could even say the word no completely.
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And it says, "His lips crushed mine stopping my protest. He kissed me angrily, roughly. His other hand
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gripping tight around the back of my neck making escape impossible." >> Oh? >> Yeah.
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"I shoved against his chest with all my strength, but he didn't even seem to notice."
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And then she says, "I grabbed at his face trying to push it away failing again. He'd seem to notice this time
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though, and it aggravated him." She's pushing him away, and it aggravated him. Ready? Ready for the
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next one? "His lips forced mine open." "And I could feel his hot breath in my mouth."
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>> Ew, you [ __ ] And then this is the part that really gets So that is already you're like, what the [ __ ]
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>> consent. That's assault. >> This one little paragraph is so upsetting because I know a lot of people
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and a lot of women >> Yep, have experienced similar things. >> feeling right here.
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>> Yep. >> Acting on instinct, I let my hands drop to my side and shut down. I opened my eyes and didn't fight,
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didn't feel, just waited for him to stop. How is that even remotely romantic? >> Before you even get to Charlie's
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reaction about that, I need to go to the uh the archive that we always reference,
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Stephanie Meyer's archive. >> Oh, yeah. I love the archive. >> does So she There's FAQs about each uh
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book. >> Yeah. >> And this one is in Eclipse, one of the frequently asked questions is, what are
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characters' biggest mistakes in Eclipse or their tragic flaws? So she says Bella's is lack of self-knowledge. She
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never would have pursued her friendship with Jacob if she had realized how much more of a friendship than it really was,
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yadda yadda you. And then Edward's, I think his was self-control, she said. Uh Jacob
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doesn't have a tragic flaw, she writes. >> Could have fooled me. He has one goal
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and one hope. His goal is to save Bella's life. His hope is that he'll win her heart in the process. He fails at
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both, but that doesn't mean he regrets trying. If he could do it over again, he'd do the same thing.
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>> Whoa. >> Jacob couldn't live with himself if he didn't give saving Bella his best
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effort. He knows it's going to hurt when he loses, but he knows it would hurt worse if he didn't try. Does he do
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everything right? Heck, no. I heard that, sister. But he's 16, she writes, and he's making
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it up as he goes along. Like he should probably make it up better. Those who are upset by some of his tactics should
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consider his youth and the fact that he hit that he is after all right. Bella's in love with him. In the end, it's truly
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healthier for her to be aware of this as she goes forward with unalterable decisions.
00:19:17
>> Wow. >> So, Bella has to be told like Jacob is right about the fact that Bella is in
00:19:21
love with him according to Stephanie Meyer. >> Mhm. >> And she needs to listen to him about her
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feelings. >> Yeah. >> That he's saying she has. >> Yeah. Listen to the Listen to the man.
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>> She like she doesn't have any autonomy. She doesn't know how she feels. She needs to
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be told. >> No, and as we will see and especially in Eclipse, they make it pretty clear that not many
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women have autonomy in this one. >> Like hello? >> Not many of them have it. >> Hello? Also, if he could do it over
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again, he'd do the same thing. >> Damn. >> I don't know what I'm saying. >> Well, and that's and that's when it gets
00:19:54
worse because she punches him in the face in that scene. >> And she breaks her hand because his face
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is chiseled. >> And so he has to bring her back to Charlie and in the movie, which like I
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got to tell you, in the movie when Edward is just like appears, >> Honey, that's that's it.
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>> angry and all up in Jacob's face, I was like, that's what I remember. That's what I remember.
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>> I go, "Ooh, I love this part." >> Yep, we were both like, "Ooh, [ __ ] I love That's when I like Edward. I like
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when he gets mad." >> But even I will say cuz we're about to read Charlie's reaction in the book,
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Charlie's reaction in the movie isn't that great either. >> It's not great, but it's far and away
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better than this. >> Oh, absolutely. Because in the movie, he just kind of stands between them, which
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I understand. >> Yeah, cuz there's a lot of talk going on. >> And Jake Jacob says,
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Bella thinks she broke her hand. And he's like, "What?" And she's like, "I punching me in the face." And he He kind
00:20:44
of like looks at him like, "What?" And then he's like, "I tried to kiss her or I kissed her."
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>> Yeah. >> And he just kind of looks and you can tell he's like, "I don't know how to
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react to this." Like cuz they're both there and like that's weird. It's not a great reaction, but it's
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not terrible when you look at this. >> But that's the thing, this is much worse.
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>> And that's kind of it. So, in the book, though, Jacob just walks on into to house,
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>> Welcome to >> feels absolutely nothing about what just occurred. And he's like, "Hey,
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and she walks by Charlie to go get ice." Cuz no one's getting her ice, either. >> Got to get it herself.
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>> going to walk over her broken hand. And Charlie says, "What's wrong with her?"
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And she said, "Don't ask her. Ask Jacob." >> Yeah. >> And she Jacob says, "She thinks she
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broke her hand." >> Not even she did break it. She thinks she >> she broke like she's crazy like you know
00:21:30
you're hysterical girl. >> And he says, "How did she do that?" And she says, "As my father, I thought
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Charlie ought to sound a bit less amused and a bit more concerned." And I said, "Yes, sister."
00:21:42
Jacob laughed. She hit me. >> Oh. >> Charlie laughed, too. And I scowled while I beat the tray against the edge
00:21:49
of the sink. "Why did she hit you?" "Because I kissed her." Jacob said, unashamed. "Good for you, kid." Charlie
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congratulated him. I have several things to say about this. >> you, kid. >> Um So many things to say about that. Okay,
00:22:04
so the second that Jacob said, "She hit me." I can tell you with 100% certainty I
00:22:12
would lay down my entire life on this bet that if I walked in with my best guy friend
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and I know exactly if I walked in in high school with my friend Derek who was like my parents knew him like everybody
00:22:27
one of my best guy friends if I walked in there with him and I was holding a broken hand
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and my dad's because Sure. My dad looks at him and says, "What happened?" >> Yeah.
00:22:37
>> If he said, "She hit me." My dad would have had Derek out in the forest. >> 100%
00:22:44
>> You would have been like, "What the [ __ ] did you do that she hit you?" Like that
00:22:47
would have been It wouldn't have even been a thought. >> have been out of that house faster than
00:22:52
you could blink. >> It wouldn't be why did you know why did she hit you? It would be what did you do
00:22:57
to make her hit you? Like it would be fully on him. Why the [ __ ] did >> in self-defense against you?
00:23:03
>> That would be it. That So he's saying she she I kissed her and she was so upset that she [ __ ] punched me in the
00:23:10
face. >> She had to act in self-defense. >> And your first response to that is what is it? Is it good for you? Yeah,
00:23:17
good for you, kid. Instead of oh, you did it without her consent. What the [ __ ] is wrong with you?
00:23:24
>> Yeah. >> Like that and that's not even the end of how [ __ ] up the men are around her in
00:23:29
this scene cuz it's not even just Charlie. >> I know. >> Because first of all, Jacob is being a little dick. Like he
00:23:36
thinks this whole thing is funny. Like he's not bothered about it at all. And then when she tells Jacob, when he's
00:23:41
like, "What happened?" on the phone >> Edward. >> or Edward. She's he's like, "What
00:23:45
happened?" And she says, "I punched Jacob." His response should be "What happened? What did he do that you
00:23:53
needed to punch him?" Nope. He says, "Good. Though I'm sorry I that that though I'm sorry you're hurt."
00:23:59
>> You don't want to know why? >> And she has to say several little things. Like she's like, "Oh, I wish I
00:24:05
had hurt him. I didn't do any damage at all." Blah blah blah blah blah. It's several ways down where he says, "What
00:24:11
did he do?" Like, "Hello?" Like are do any of you care that you If she's punching her best
00:24:18
friend, a man >> Yeah. >> you should be concerned about what he did to deserve that.
00:24:24
>> What >> And then it gets even worse. >> going to say, "What does he say?" cuz I
00:24:26
don't remember. >> So then the so Edward arrives and this is in the book. Edward arrives and Jacob and
00:24:33
Edward are kind of like going at each other a little bit. Like just right right right right. And Charlie comes in
00:24:39
and of course only says to Edward, like, "Hey. Like you got to back off." And then he says, "I can go put on my badge
00:24:44
if it makes my my request more official." >> Mhm. >> And Edward says that won't be necessary.
00:24:50
And that's when Bella says, "Why don't you arrest me, Dad? I'm the one throwing punches." Like, "Are you seeing anything
00:24:55
that's happening here?" And his response, Charlie raised an eyebrow. Do you want to press charges, Jake?
00:25:03
Brother. Brother, Jake's not the one that was assaulted. How about you ask your daughter that?
00:25:10
>> And to ask your own in front of your own [ __ ] daughter. Ask this boy. >> Do you know what's so sad?
00:25:16
>> Like what? >> know what's so sad? This is probably like at least somewhat similar to an
00:25:21
experience that a lot of girls have probably had. >> [ __ ] up. >> Like we're lucky like we had papa.
00:25:27
But some dads are like this. >> I can't imagine. >> That is obviously for that to have been
00:25:32
written in a book that's rooted in some kind of reality somewhere. >> Which is awful.
00:25:37
>> cannot fathom it. >> That's insane to me. >> can't. I can't fathom it. >> Which is nice that we can.
00:25:43
>> Like it is that was the worst I was like Charlie, you are so attractive in the movie and you are so
00:25:52
unattractive in the book. >> Yeah. Like really they are. >> God damn. >> He's a bridge troll in the book. You're
00:25:57
not. That's so [ __ ] up. >> Burke who's the >> Yes, I believe so. >> actor? Billy Burke really saved Charlie
00:26:04
Swan. >> He did. >> He really did. >> really did. >> He really saved. He He made him what he
00:26:09
is. So like hats off to Billy Burke. >> Yeah, period. >> And that's the thing. It's like when I
00:26:14
say Edward had growth, it's like only so much. >> Yeah. >> Because like >> It wasn't quite linear.
00:26:20
>> Again, he's very patient with the Jacob [ __ ] Like like this kind of thing. He
00:26:24
could have killed them >> 100% >> Cuz they're supernatural creatures. It's not like these are two humans. But
00:26:30
he's super bait and he's baited the entire movie by Jacob. >> Yeah. >> Baited. And he does manage to keep his
00:26:38
[ __ ] together, which like I realize the bar is in hell here. But like that is the universe we're currently watching
00:26:44
right now. >> Can we jump forward like massively? To when they are So like the newborns are
00:26:50
coming, which like we'll get to. You've probably seen this if you're listening most likely. So the newborns are coming.
00:26:55
They're like they mark out Bella's scent in the field. >> Yeah. >> And her and Edward hike up to this like
00:27:00
crazy peak to stay away from everything. And Jacob is there. And Bella, it's snowing for some reason in June on this
00:27:07
mountain peak. I realize it snows on mountain peaks, but like it wouldn't happen in June.
00:27:10
>> Like actively snowing. >> Actively. Like there's a storm outside. >> it could have snow on the peak in June,
00:27:14
but like an active snowstorm I feel like is crazy. >> Yeah, definitely. So Bella's like
00:27:19
freezing obviously, and like Edward is fine cuz he's dead. And Jacob is super duper warm. So he comes inside and he's
00:27:26
like, "I can't focus with all the teeth chattering. Like let me just keep her warm." And
00:27:31
>> Yeah. >> Edward is like, "No, like [ __ ] you and I can hear your thoughts. Like not going
00:27:34
to happen." >> Yeah, he's like that's right. >> Finally he relents because Bella's going
00:27:37
to get frostbite otherwise. And he literally Jacob looks at Edward and goes, "Let's face it. I'm hotter than
00:27:43
you. Let's Let's face it. I am hotter than you." Let's face it. I'm hotter than you. And then I said, "That's
00:27:48
nuts." And then he says that she would warm up faster as he's holding her now. She would warm up faster if she took her
00:27:57
clothes off. He says this aloud to her in front of her man. There's so much wrong with that. First
00:28:05
of all, to say that at all in front of Bella >> is >> to Bella >> while you're holding her is [ __ ] up
00:28:11
and weird. >> When she's already now punched you because you made an advance on her.
00:28:16
>> And when she's made it [ __ ] clear that she was not looking for that. >> That's exactly what I'm saying.
00:28:21
>> And you're sitting there manipulating this situation and saying something so gross and like
00:28:27
>> and piggish. >> And now you Now she knows like she does need you in this moment. Like she's
00:28:32
going to get frostbite otherwise. And you're cradling her and she knows that you're thinking about her with her
00:28:37
clothes off. >> you have like a boner and are sitting there like snuggling up against her and
00:28:42
she can't do anything else about it cuz she's going to die otherwise. >> And poor Edward can hear everything he's
00:28:47
thinking. >> Yeah, like honestly anybody who was team Jacob after Eclipse, please come to the front and
00:28:55
explain yourself. >> Please, because I can't. >> I see >> it from the first two movies. I get it.
00:29:00
>> a lot of people saying that he's just a kid and like he doesn't know any better.
00:29:04
>> No, babe, he's a teenager. >> But I do the majority of people are they feel how we feel.
00:29:09
>> Yeah. >> I can't and when when he says, "Can't you at least like when Edward's like,
00:29:13
"Can't you at least attempt to control your thoughts?" That was a very nice [ __ ] way to put that. It was. Like
00:29:21
and in the book he says something like, "I can hear your like every little fantasy you're having right now." And I
00:29:26
was like, "Get it together." >> He's disgusting. He's like that's so gross. >> Like get it together.
00:29:32
>> He also tells Jacob tells Edward in this moment, at least in the movie, "If you
00:29:36
had stayed away another 6 months, I could have had a chance." >> Yeah. Why would you want a chance if it
00:29:42
if your only chance relied on the one that she actually loved being away for like a period of time? That's not real.
00:29:50
You're a replacement. Why do you want that? Don't you want somebody who just wants you immediately?
00:29:55
>> You would think. >> Like I don't understand that. >> Well, then after this like in the movie uh like Bella and
00:30:03
Edward have like a discussion the next morning and the idea of like of them being married.
00:30:08
>> Because also, they're engaged already cuz they got engaged the night before this.
00:30:12
>> I'm going to get to that, too, because she has a wild reaction in the book to
00:30:17
it. Uh but she So, they're talking about and he says something like, you know, in
00:30:21
the book I think he says like the best night was when you agreed to marry me. >> Yeah.
00:30:25
>> And then like he says something else in the movie that that is alluding to the
00:30:29
fact that they're getting married. And in the movie, you know, Jacob is just like standing a
00:30:35
little ways away. >> So, he likes it. >> So, he hears it and when she he walks out, she's like, "You knew he was
00:30:41
listening." And Edward's like, he deserves to know. Like >> the same thing. >> Well, and then she flips out at Edward
00:30:46
and it's like, "You're an asshole!" >> Cuz now Jake's going to go kill himself. >> But in the book she he's like further
00:30:53
away when he hears this. >> And in wolf form, right? >> And he's in wolf form. So, when he says
00:30:58
this, all of a sudden you hear Jacob like howl in pain, like a heartbreaking howl from like a long ways away.
00:31:04
And she doesn't blame Edward in the book cuz of course not. She starts blaming herself. She's like, "I'm awful. I can't
00:31:11
believe I did this. I'm the worst." Like he even said he's like, "Are you angry at me for saying that?" And she's like,
00:31:16
"No, I'm angry at myself." And I'm like, "Damn, you just gave >> Why? >> zero." Like she's just like, "I'm the
00:31:22
worst." And then Edward wants to like chill her out so much that he's like "Do you want me to go get Jacob and you can
00:31:28
like talk this out? Like I'll go get him." Cuz he's like Imagine having to do that.
00:31:33
>> about this." >> That is such a >> In the book. >> It's such an inappropriate like there's
00:31:41
no boundaries within this relationship as far as like her friendship goes with Jacob.
00:31:46
>> Mhm. And then in both situations she goes to talk to him about it and Jacob is like, you know, upset and whatever.
00:31:55
And he just immediately starts threatening suicide, which is so manipulative. >> It's so manipulative. It's like, "What
00:32:04
the fuck?" And then she's sitting there being like, and he's like, "You know what? Maybe I'll just, you know, do this
00:32:09
or do that or maybe I'll just I you know what? I will go down in battle and I'll
00:32:13
just let I'll let it happen to me." And then at one point he's like, "Oh, you know what? Maybe I could be passive
00:32:18
about it. I'll just I'll fight, but I'll whatever happens happens." And he's putting it all on her and I'm
00:32:23
like, "No." >> it's your fault cuz now I'm going to die sad. >> Like, "No, babe."
00:32:26
>> Even though I'm never going to be with you anyway. >> I'm going to die a sad boy. And it's
00:32:29
like that's literally not her fault. >> No, not >> Um And then there's like several times
00:32:34
where she's like she keeps telling him she's like you know I don't love you like that. Like she's
00:32:40
said it before. >> I love you like a friend. >> saying you do love me. And he's like you
00:32:44
do love me, you are attracted to me, you just don't understand it. And he even says at one point like you are more
00:32:50
comfortable with me in my wolf form because you're not attracted to me. >> It's like no babe, she's probably more
00:32:56
comfortable with you in wolf form because you can't shove your tongue down her throat.
00:32:59
>> and she literally is like no, it's cuz you shut the [ __ ] up. You can't talk.
00:33:02
>> That's nice. >> And I'm like take that hint babe. Like when she's telling you yeah, I like you
00:33:07
as a fuzzy creature better cuz one, you can't make out with me and two, you shut
00:33:12
the [ __ ] up. That should give you all the information you need. >> But according to Stephanie Meyer, he's
00:33:16
correct. >> Oh yeah, he's correct. But then he keeps saying he's going to he's going to kill
00:33:21
himself, he's going to kill himself. And at one point she he's like she's like I
00:33:26
don't want you to go away. And like and he's like see? And she's like well no, I love you. I
00:33:32
don't want you to go away. That it's not all or nothing. It's not I if I do if I
00:33:37
love you in the way I love Edward then that means one thing. But like I want You know what I mean? Like just
00:33:44
because I don't want you to go away doesn't mean I want to [ __ ] you. Like that's There's plenty of people in my
00:33:49
life that I don't want to go away. >> said this earlier. Like she doesn't want Charlie to go away either.
00:33:54
>> says that. She's like I feel that way about Charlie. Like you're my family. I
00:33:58
don't want something bad to happen to you. Like I love you that way. And he's like nope.
00:34:03
>> You want to [ __ ] >> No, you don't get it. And he keeps going, keeps going. And she finally is
00:34:10
like I want you to come back. And he's like you should That's He says um what do you could ask me.
00:34:15
Cuz remember and I don't think we mentioned this, but when he forced forcibly kisses her
00:34:20
before in both the book and the movie, Edward is like maybe you could wait for her to ask you. Which I'm like team
00:34:26
Edward on that. >> Yeah. >> And so he and he even says Edward said cuz at one point while they're talking
00:34:32
um I think Jacob asks Edward like what if she did ask me. And he's like, "Then that's then she would say that's her
00:34:38
choice." Right. I would respect her choice. Which I'm like, again, came Edward. But in this one, Jacob says, "You could
00:34:45
ask me." And she's like, "Please come back." Thinking that's like I'm asking you to come back. And he says, "That's
00:34:51
not what I'm talking about." So he's literally saying, "I'm out. I'm going to kill myself.
00:34:58
And you could ask me." And she has to say, "Will you kiss me, Jacob?" That's insane. And literally, the only
00:35:06
reason that he does that she does is to make him not kill himself. That's not healthy
00:35:13
in any universe ever. >> The most toxic thing. >> And the makeout that they have goes on
00:35:21
for about four pages. >> Oh my god. >> It's so many pages. >> Four? >> So many pages.
00:35:27
>> How many pages? >> Cuz doesn't she picture their future together? >> At one point, and I guess they filmed
00:35:33
this, but they didn't like how the makeup looked. I kind of wish they had. >> It's apparently like top secret. Like
00:35:38
>> I want it. >> It was a deleted scene, and I know like if you have the DVD or like the extended
00:35:42
cut or something, there No. There are deleted scenes that are included, but this one is as like you can't find it
00:35:49
anywhere, but there's a couple pictures from onset that people have. >> Yeah, you can see them.
00:35:55
>> Yeah. >> And yeah, cuz that's part of it is she like starts picturing that, but it's
00:35:59
only after like he is intense, like very he does the angry aggressive kiss, where she does the same
00:36:08
thing. She balls her hands up at her sides. >> want to be kissed by him. >> forces her wrist up to the where his
00:36:15
neck is, and she says she keeps her hand balled up. She doesn't even grab his neck. He holds her wrist there
00:36:22
for a lot of the time, and then finally lets go. And then tells her she can do better
00:36:28
than this. >> Like like she can kiss better? >> Yeah, because she's not kissing him
00:36:33
back. >> Oh my >> And he's literally like you can do better than this. >> like that is genuine like obviously the
00:36:39
first one was upsetting. This one is so much more upsetting for some reason. >> is.
00:36:43
And then he says like you can do better than this. >> Yeah. >> And she said and he says um for once
00:36:49
just let yourself feel what you feel. And she says I shook my head mechanically until one of his hands
00:36:55
wound back into my hair and stopped me. And he says, are you sure you want me to
00:37:00
come back or did you really want me to die? >> So now he's like you wanted me to die.
00:37:05
>> And in the middle of it because she's not kissing him back like he wants her to, he threatens again, do you want me
00:37:11
to die? >> Oh my god. >> And she gets pissed and kisses him back. And then he and she's like angry. So she
00:37:21
wanted so she goes to like pull him away after this. >> Yeah. >> He takes that as like passion.
00:37:27
And so he goes like harder. And that's when they fall and this is even worse. So she was trying to pull
00:37:33
him off, angrily trying to pull him off. He takes it as passion so he goes further. And then she said this was the
00:37:40
moment she realized she was in love with him. >> Baby, that's not love. Because he felt like such joy from like
00:37:49
thinking she was kissing back. >> Stockholm syndrome. >> Yeah, I said whoa, that's that's
00:37:54
something. >> I have to wonder because obviously like I read that quote that Stephanie wrote
00:37:57
on her website like in 2007. I do have to wonder in today's lens if she if she would feel differently about
00:38:04
>> wonder. >> that like about thinking Jacob is correct in all of his feelings. >> Because
00:38:11
I understand like when I first saw this when I read this kind of thing when I was younger, you know what I mean or
00:38:16
like whatever. >> Yeah. >> Like I can understand people when they first read this when they're younger
00:38:22
thinking this is like just so all consuming love. >> Yeah, like very like Wuthering Heights
00:38:28
kind of thing. And which she did this is inspired partly by Wuthering Heights which Stephanie Meyer said she doesn't
00:38:34
even like Wuthering Heights but like Heathcliff Heathcliff and is it Edgar and Heathcliff?
00:38:39
>> I've never seen it. I've never >> people will compare Jacob and Edward to them a lot. And and Heathcliff is like a
00:38:46
dick. >> I know the premise so I know it's similar, yeah. >> But it's like that you these thing I I
00:38:52
can understand why they get seen as like these passionate over but when you really dig at them it just is really
00:39:00
gross and it's like these these moments are really gross and they're not healthy.
00:39:04
>> Right. >> And they should stay in fiction. >> Yeah. >> We've like we talked about this before.
00:39:10
I forget when I talked to Oh, I think I talked about this when I did the event with Elizabeth Arnot.
00:39:15
>> Mhm. >> Uh at Unlikely Story we were talking about how like it's wild when people
00:39:22
like especially when women will fall in love with like serial killers and like go and like marry them.
00:39:27
Um It's hybristophilia. It's Bonnie and Clyde syndrome. >> Mhm. >> And um I I was saying how like I I just can't
00:39:35
wrap my brain around it because in my mind I can at least sit there and and know the difference between cuz I
00:39:43
love villains like in general villains. >> And I know that that doesn't work in real life. A villain doesn't work in
00:39:49
real life. I've dated a villain. It doesn't work in real life. And it's like so you find that out and we and it takes
00:39:55
people a long time trust me. I was in my 20s being like the villain will work out
00:39:59
in real life like what are we thinking about? I can fix him. But it's like so I do wonder if like you look back on it
00:40:06
now if she could look up back on it now if she's like you know what? That wouldn't
00:40:10
>> Well because the villain >> again it's fiction so it's like there is a line here.
00:40:14
>> I see what what saying but I think the problem in that scenario is Jacob is not
00:40:17
written as a villain. That is a big problem that is overarching >> Yeah. >> in this series, I think. No one is
00:40:25
>> presented as a villain. >> Exactly. He is acting >> like how a villain would act, but he's
00:40:30
not presented in that way. >> No, he's not. He's presented in like >> Oh, poor Jacob. Like he just loves her
00:40:36
so much and >> It's true. >> he's really getting the [ __ ] end of the stick here. Let's feel bad for him.
00:40:40
>> Yeah. >> And it's like, no. >> Mhm. >> He's acting like a [ __ ] incel. >> Yeah.
00:40:45
>> It's true. >> And that is I think that is part of the problem is he's not given to you on a
00:40:50
plate as a villain where you can accept it. >> No, you could buy a [ __ ] t-shirt back
00:40:55
in the day that said team Jacob. >> Of course. >> Cuz you were like rooting for him to be
00:40:59
the one that she loved. >> loved. >> And it's like that's the thing. Like if you're presenting me a villain, like
00:41:05
you're presenting me Eric Northman in True Blood. He is very much a villain. >> He is ruthless. He is like
00:41:15
>> Poor decisions, like does shitty things. >> and he and they are saying he is a
00:41:19
villain. >> it. >> So it's like you can be like, yeah. Like let's make him do villainous things.
00:41:24
>> be team Eric like in a silly fun way. >> Exactly. Cuz you're like, well, he's a
00:41:28
villain. Like it's fake. >> I think the other problem, too, is this is Y A. >> Yeah.
00:41:32
>> This isn't like this was Am I correct? Y A? Like So that's not you can't present
00:41:39
Jacob like this and be audience okay. >> The audience is impressionable. Much more impressionable than an adult
00:41:45
audience. >> this and was like, oh my god, that's kind of sexy. And then I'm like, oh my
00:41:49
god, as an adult, like holy [ __ ] That's assault. >> Yeah. >> You know? Like really
00:41:56
>> You have to think like young girls are reading this and they might be in an experience like that and then they're
00:42:00
just going to be like, well, maybe I'm in love with this guy. >> Yeah, maybe I am and maybe he's right.
00:42:04
Like that's why these things happen. It's true. It's not okay. >> No, it's so true.
00:42:08
>> I hate it. >> Can we talk about the bracelet? Let's move on a little bit. Oh my god, the
00:42:12
[ __ ] bracelet. Okay, so I Is it the post-graduation party? >> Yeah, it's the graduation party.
00:42:18
>> He shows up and this is She hasn't seen him after she punched him in the face
00:42:22
because he kissed her. And she literally like banned him from being anywhere near
00:42:25
him. She was like, "Stay the [ __ ] away from me." So he rolls up to her graduation party, which is rude because
00:42:29
he was uninvited. >> He was. >> And he's like, "I'm sorry. Like I know what I did was wrong, but I did bring
00:42:33
you a gift." He brings her a [ __ ] bracelet where he's like whittled a wolf charm together
00:42:41
to represent him. I'd be like, >> And she just wears that [ __ ] >> You're a narcissist.
00:42:47
>> Yeah. >> I got to wear you around now? >> That's the thing. Like what the [ __ ]
00:42:51
>> But she is. >> And it's like a tag. Like it's literally like, "You're mine." >> There's If there could have been an
00:42:57
airtag in it, there would have been. And then she wears it in front of Edward and it's just like, "Yeah, like
00:43:03
Jake made it for me." >> And wearing it like you're in the Cullen's house right now.
00:43:09
>> house and not wearing that. >> Your mortal enemies. >> She's wearing it, I think like on the
00:43:13
mountain after they've been engaged. >> Yeah. And not wearing her engagement ring.
00:43:18
>> Mama. >> That's the other thing. >> You're not wearing your ugly ass engagement ring and you're wearing your
00:43:24
ugly ass wolf pendant? >> No [ __ ] >> It's the way and like like that brings me right to how she reacts to
00:43:34
>> the marriage thing in the book because in the in the movie she's also like she's more acting in the movie,
00:43:41
I would say, like she's worried what people are going to think. >> Yeah, cuz she was I think she even says
00:43:46
like in the beginning and like obviously it's like kind of shitty, but she's like, "What do you think when people are
00:43:51
engaged get married?" Oh, she's pregnant. >> it is very much like Edward is forcing
00:43:55
her to get married. She is not in any way, shape, or form into this. At one point during their like romantic night
00:44:02
together where it's supposed to be romantic, but holy [ __ ] it does not And it's like just that the way that she's
00:44:08
thinking. We'll get there. >> Oh my god. >> She says like she's they're talking about it. They're talking about like,
00:44:14
you know, like they're talking about like the whole thing of like you're going to, you
00:44:18
know, are you going to agree to turn me? Are you going to follow through on your
00:44:22
promise kind of thing? And she he says at some point he like finishes she's like, oh and and now all of a sudden I'm
00:44:30
and he says, you're engaged. And like he says it like just being sweet. Her response to that?
00:44:37
>> Okay. >> Ew, please don't say that out loud. I'm not kidding. >> That's like right after they get
00:44:45
engaged. >> He literally says, you're engaged and she just says, ew, please don't say that
00:44:50
out loud. They're not around anyone else. >> Oh my god. >> They're not around anyone else.
00:44:56
>> Can you imagine? Your [ __ ] man's just gets down on one knee and like, you're beautiful,
00:45:03
you're gorgeous, you look like Linda Evangelista. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and you're like, oh my
00:45:07
god, yes. >> Yeah. And then he's like, we're engaged. And he Ew. And then his res he's like, excuse me?
00:45:15
>> He says, the [ __ ] >> And he says, are you going back on your word? And so she says, I glared at him. And
00:45:21
then she says and he says, are you? And she goes, ugh, no, I'm not. Are you happy now?
00:45:26
>> Oh my god. >> And he just says, exceptionally. >> Are you exceptionally happy?
00:45:32
Babe, what? >> Babe. >> What? >> asks her, he says, are you happy? And she says, a little bit. And then she
00:45:40
says, but not about getting married. >> Here's the thing, it also makes no [ __ ] sense that she's acting this way
00:45:48
about getting married. >> You're obsessed with him. >> She literally at one point in the movie
00:45:52
says, I want to tie myself to you in every human way possible. >> That's the most human way you can
00:45:58
actually tie yourself to someone. >> also is like, it's just a piece of paper. >> Yeah.
00:46:02
>> And it's like, okay, one, no, it's not. >> It makes no sense and during that >> contradictory.
00:46:07
>> During that that same like night, like right before that where she's trying to
00:46:12
[ __ ] >> That [ __ ] is so DTF. >> He and then and he does it in the book, too. It's like a thing that happens in
00:46:18
both. She while they're making out, she is trying to get things going and he literally says, "Bella, stop trying to
00:46:26
take your clothes off." >> I would find the nearest body of water and walk all the way into it.
00:46:31
>> That would send me into psychosis. Like I would go into psychosis. >> I would die a virgin.
00:46:38
>> I couldn't recover. >> never want to touch that again. >> recover from that. >> If you're getting freaky with your man
00:46:45
and he says, "Stop trying to take your clothes." Oh my god. >> And the way he says it
00:46:49
>> Why don't you just put a [ __ ] bullet through my head? >> The way he says it is so [ __ ]
00:46:54
disgusting, too. He's like, "Stop trying to take like you whore." That's essentially what he sounds like he's
00:47:00
saying there. >> It's like He's like, "No one wants to see that." >> "No one wants to see that." I'd I'd go
00:47:06
into cardiac arrest in that moment. >> I cannot with that. That stresses me out in a way that I literally can't even
00:47:13
deal with. No, I really hate it. >> I can't deal with it. >> Okay, so that's like that's like the
00:47:18
Bella and the Jacob and the the marriage of it all. We also have to talk about like the whole premise basically like
00:47:25
like the overarching premise is that Victoria is back and she wants to kill the [ __ ] out of Bella.
00:47:31
>> Yeah, and here's here's one thing about me. >> Okay, talk to me. >> So, the way that she does that cuz you
00:47:38
know, like Alice is like listening to her thoughts >> Yeah. >> is she needs to get some people to do
00:47:43
her bidding, her new vampires. So, she finds this guy >> Riley. >> Riley. And she turns him and at first
00:47:51
when I saw Riley running down the street, I was like, "Oh, okay, like whatever."
00:47:55
There he is. >> Yeah. >> And then they show him a vampire and I said I'm into it.
00:47:59
>> That I was like team Riley. I I seem to always be team Riley. >> He's very like team Riley during Buffy,
00:48:05
too. Yeah. >> Uh Finn, Riley. Uh but I love him as a vampire. >> Agreed. >> Didn't get enough of him as far as I'm
00:48:13
concerned. We would have loved to have seen him be menacing to everyone else. >> Yeah.
00:48:18
>> Just saw him lurking about a little bit. >> very kind of like glazed over. I think
00:48:23
that's one of the bigger problems, too, is like I don't quite understand why she needs
00:48:28
an army of vampires. >> I don't understand Bella. >> Yeah. >> Cuz she could sort of just use Riley.
00:48:36
>> I guess she wanted like I know, that's the thing. I feel like she could just use Riley. But then maybe she wanted
00:48:41
like a bigger layer of protection. I don't know. >> Yeah. I don't know. Did you come across
00:48:46
anything in the illustrated guide? >> just kind of like the same kind of thing. It's more that she was
00:48:51
she is not going to put herself at risk, so she will do anything to make sure she's
00:48:57
padded with enough. >> So maybe that's what it is. Maybe that's it's like reinforcements.
00:49:02
>> Because the whole thing >> I think Alice, the reason Alice can't see that this is going to happen is
00:49:07
because she hasn't met Riley before. I think in order for Alice to see like your path, she has to know you.
00:49:13
>> That makes sense. >> Which makes sense cuz otherwise she'd just be seeing paths left and right.
00:49:16
>> Yeah, I think that makes sense for sure. And I think in the book and in the in
00:49:20
the illustrated guide as well uh we see that Riley is like really struggling with
00:49:27
cuz Victoria's pretending to love him. >> To get him to to make him very loyal. >> Right.
00:49:31
>> And so but he's struggling with it, not sure if she's telling the truth. And but
00:49:37
he's like really obsessed with her loving him and like needing to know that he does.
00:49:42
And I think we didn't get enough of that in the movie. >> You don't get a lot of it at all.
00:49:46
>> been nice to see that. And because then at the end when Riley shows up and is
00:49:52
listening to Edward try to tell him like she doesn't love you. Like you're from Forks, bro. Like you know the area.
00:49:58
That's the only reason she grabbed you. And you can see it like hitting. >> Yep.
00:50:02
>> But then it just kind of doesn't and like when he says, "You're dead." >> Yeah.
00:50:06
>> Also, for some reason I was like, "Whoo, Riley." Uh but all that did it immediately does.
00:50:10
>> I thought that was kind of lame. >> I kind of loved it. >> Okay. >> I wanted it to go further though. I
00:50:14
hated that it got cut off right there. >> And also like the way he dies though is
00:50:18
cool. >> It is. >> Cuz the wolf isn't Jacob that comes >> No, I think it's Seth.
00:50:22
>> I have no idea. All the wolves just be coming. >> Seth. >> Well, he just like rips his hand off.
00:50:27
And I love the way they break like glass. >> Yeah, they shatter like marble. >> Well, and and I think if we had gotten
00:50:33
more of him being like in the movie, being like so obsessed with Victoria and like being so insecure and having this
00:50:42
like undying loyalty. Like you get a little bit of it in the movie. I just thought it could be a little further
00:50:47
because I think then the end scene would have hit a little >> harder. >> You would have felt more like, "Oh,
00:50:51
[ __ ] man." Like you were like you would have felt a little bit more like that when you were just kind of like, "Oh,
00:50:57
that sucks, bro." Like I was just kind of like, "Bye." >> Yeah. >> And I think he was very good at being
00:51:02
menacing. >> Yeah, I think so. >> Because that shot of them all coming out of the water could have gotten really
00:51:07
[ __ ] super hokey. >> Okay. >> And he's scary in it. Like his face is scary. >> He's for sure scary in it, but that [ __ ]
00:51:14
is funny. >> crazy and that's the thing. It's like it could have been so much funnier.
00:51:19
>> I think cuz he had like that he's played by Xavier Samuel and I think he did a
00:51:24
great I think he would be really good at a villain. Like a bad guy cuz he he had
00:51:29
menacing vibes to him. He just wasn't given enough to work with as far as I'm concerned.
00:51:33
>> Yeah. >> Um but yeah, I loved I thought when they shatter into glass, I'm kind of obsessed
00:51:39
with it. >> Especially then when Victoria does ultimately get killed. >> Yeah, but I'm also Oh, she the hers This
00:51:45
so cool. >> Hers is really cool. >> head and it's like and it literally looks like crystal.
00:51:48
>> Yes. >> And but which is cool, but I also wonder sometimes why Stephanie Meyer
00:51:55
over complicated some of her uh lore, because she really wrote herself into like she like
00:52:02
wrote herself into corners sometimes. Because >> like they're like supposedly supposed to be
00:52:08
like uh stone. >> Like marble. >> Yeah. >> That's why they're cold. That's why all
00:52:12
that. Like they're hard, blah blah blah. >> That's why they're clinking when they
00:52:15
kiss. >> That's why they clink. And never has Bella listened to his family clink.
00:52:18
>> You got to follow Sarah Gallagher on Tik Tok. I've I said this in the other ones,
00:52:21
but keep doing it cuz she's so funny. >> that with bowls, and she'll be like, "This is all they hear." And she just
00:52:27
clinks them together, and it's the funniest [ __ ] >> Um but also they cannot There's several
00:52:33
layers to this. They only kiss closed mouthed in the book. >> Yeah. >> Because one, he has marble hard lips.
00:52:43
So in one of the in the beginning of the book, she says and I and I quote "If I had my way, I would spend the
00:52:52
majority of my time kissing Edward. There she says, 'There wasn't anything I'd experienced in my life that compared
00:52:58
to the feeling of his cool lips, marble hard, but always so gentle moving with mine.'"
00:53:05
Marble hard? Like that doesn't sound fun. >> It doesn't sound fun. >> on top of that, they can't open their
00:53:13
mouths to kiss. >> The venom. >> Because venom is every single one of their body bodily fluids, including
00:53:19
their saliva. Right. So they can't make out. >> Yeah. >> So it's like why did you do that? Like why did you
00:53:27
make it like and I think and again, I think this is like a we're bringing the the the desire kind of thing to like a
00:53:35
breaking point kind of cuz they can't even >> open mouth kiss. >> You have not even made out.
00:53:42
>> Well, I'm also just like if like you want to spend all your time Are you just
00:53:45
like That's the thing. They're literally just going pecking over and over again cuz
00:53:49
that doesn't sound very enjoyable. >> And I'm like that's not and they couldn't do that in the movie so they
00:53:54
were like, you know what? [ __ ] the venom thing. We're just going to like have them make out.
00:53:58
>> And when it's like when they can't translate it into film because it's that wild.
00:54:04
>> Yeah. >> That you got to rethink that one. Like that one that one's just like I'm
00:54:07
surprised nobody was like we should rethink this one cuz it causes a lot of problems later.
00:54:11
>> Like that's just that's a lot. Like >> I don't understand. I'm like that I feel
00:54:17
like that could have been taken out. >> Yeah. >> I don't think all their saliva needs to
00:54:20
be venom. And again, like she's, you know, she's Mormon so it's like there's a lot of like
00:54:28
very chaste and, you know, uh like abstinence favor in favor of abstinence before
00:54:37
marriage kind of undertones that we all know are flying throughout this. >> Yes.
00:54:42
>> And I think this just adds to it cuz it's like not only can they not [ __ ] >> Can open mouth kiss.
00:54:46
>> can't even open mouth kiss cuz he's got venom in his mouth while like it's it
00:54:51
really is it's like such a >> Doesn't Does the venom get into her mouth a little bit in the first one and
00:54:55
doesn't she like almost pass out or something? >> No, I don't think they >> No. >> Cuz they don't they don't follow that
00:55:03
lore. Like at least from the mouth. Like that saliva has venom in it. >> Okay. >> I think in the movies they don't follow
00:55:10
that. >> No, no, I mean in the book. Doesn't something weird happen in the book where
00:55:13
she almost passes out when they kiss? >> Oh, yeah, she does almost pass out when
00:55:17
they kiss but I don't know I think that's literally just because she cuz they don't open mouth kiss. That's her
00:55:22
And I think we talked about it. She was almost passing out >> from that kiss. >> hard tight-lipped kiss.
00:55:30
>> [ __ ] >> Yeah. So then again, when I look at it that way and And I say, "Okay, so when you
00:55:36
started making out with Jacob for four pages and you could actually make out with him, you probably did fall in love
00:55:43
with him in that moment because you're probably like, holy [ __ ] like what is this?
00:55:47
Like what's going on?" But, yeah, so that's that's wild. That's wild. And then we still have um
00:55:57
Confederate Jasper. Uh Confederate Jasper gets more Confederate. >> gets he he's
00:56:05
>> He's calling people ma'am. >> Ma'am. Suddenly he has real real thick drawl. >> Yeah.
00:56:11
>> And only in some parts though. Only sometimes. And when he does, he's just so proud to be a Confederate.
00:56:20
So so proud to be the youngest major in the Texas Cavalry, ma'am. >> He lied about his age.
00:56:25
>> It's I said, why do why >> Why are we harping on this? >> Cuz that's it's like he can be from the
00:56:32
South from that time period. >> Yep. >> And you could do so many different things with that. You could have made
00:56:39
him just, you know, from You could have made him from a really fancy ass family.
00:56:45
>> Yeah. >> And he's just a Southern gentleman, you know? >> Yeah, that would have been nice.
00:56:48
>> Or you could have made him be so that like he was in the war on the Confederate side unwillingly.
00:56:55
>> Yeah. >> And that that he carries that. And that he says, "I wasn't for the cause and it
00:56:59
haunts me every day that I had to be part of that." >> that's part of why he has that power of
00:57:04
like >> But he feels no emotion. Like feel the emotion. Exactly. Like you can make that
00:57:09
a part of his past. And nobody's saying that you you pretend the Civil War didn't happen. Pretend that Confederate
00:57:16
soldiers don't exist. Like I don't There's many ways to make that something in his past that you could get
00:57:23
away from it. But they just whole chest. Make him not only a Confederate soldier, a proud past
00:57:32
Confederate soldier, but he is so psyched to bring that [ __ ] up again. >> When he's talking to Bella about this,
00:57:38
he says, "When I was human, I lived in Houston, Texas. I was almost 17 years old. I was almost 17 years old when I
00:57:46
joined the Confederate Army in 1861. I lied to the recruiters and told them I was 20. I was tall enough to get away
00:57:52
with it." >> Jesus Christ. >> And then he says, "My military career was short-lived, but very promising."
00:57:58
"People always liked to me, listen to what I had to say. My father said it was charisma." But he says the Confederate
00:58:06
Army was new and scrambling to organize itself, so that provided opportunities as well.
00:58:11
>> Oh. >> And I'm like, so where like where he's just like, yep, killed it, loved it,
00:58:16
let's do it again. I'm going to use my skills from there for this because even in the same scene, he's explaining to
00:58:22
Bella how he was turned. And he's turned by this woman named Maria, um, and he was like she was this Mexican
00:58:29
woman that he had met while he was in the Confederate Army. And he's talking about it and he says, "Her features were
00:58:36
clearly Mexican, but she was pale as marble >> Mhm. >> in the moonlight." And it's like
00:58:42
>> There's a lot wrong with that. There's so much happening there, but I'm also like so she they even double down there
00:58:48
by saying and in the book and in the movie they double down there by saying even though this woman could have had
00:58:55
like like brown skin or olive skin or some type of like you know, complexion that is different from pale white.
00:59:05
She didn't. No matter what, you always are just pale white. >> Yep, you're pale white as you're talking
00:59:11
about a Confederate soldier being turned by it's just there's so much and I'm just like this is so weird. It is. It's
00:59:17
weird that it just gets passed over and then it's weird that like we're supposed to love him and Alice,
00:59:23
but I'm like Alice, what the [ __ ] He's a Confederate soldier. Like I don't like
00:59:26
you got to and he's and he's still proud of it, babe. Not Not once have I heard that man say
00:59:32
I wouldn't join today. Or like >> Well, that's the thing. That's >> Give him something.
00:59:37
>> That's what needed to be in there is like I am this great soldier and that you know, I can go You know what would
00:59:43
have been perfect? Had he struggled leading? >> Yeah. >> Because the whole thing is like Jasper's
00:59:48
helping them like make make an army together to to face the newborn vampire army. It would
00:59:55
have been even better if he struggled getting back into that role because he had so many regrets from the past.
01:00:00
>> Exactly. It's like so that he just he he had all this regret. He has all this
01:00:05
like shame on his shoulders. >> Yes. And also the Confederacy lost. So he wouldn't technically be a great
01:00:10
leader because >> Period. >> Because let's be real. >> The north remembers. >> Like I'm like that's Let's just be real
01:00:17
about it. That's just >> of history girls coming out too. >> That's just history, baby.
01:00:21
>> Is it? Is it? Is it? >> Uh but it's like why did we I think I just >> don't understand why.
01:00:26
Why was it brought into his present? Why is he proud of it? >> Yep. >> Why is it a part of everything? You
01:00:32
could have had cuz I don't see something wrong with having somebody in that time
01:00:37
period because it's a vampire. They're going to be from all different time periods.
01:00:41
>> Yeah. >> And people are different in different time periods. So I can see having
01:00:45
somebody who was a Confederate I I will even give you that, which is giving a lot.
01:00:51
>> Because I personally wouldn't do that, but I can at least try to wrap >> Like having it be historically accurate.
01:00:58
>> Historically accurate, having that be his past, and having that be part of him becoming what he is today.
01:01:05
>> Yep. >> That's the thing though. Make him grow. >> Yeah. There's no way. >> And I don't when he's sitting there
01:01:10
being like hell yeah, like I was the >> Getting back into his element. >> youngest major in the Texas hot cavalry,
01:01:15
it's like [ __ ] You're just like I don't know about that. Like I don't I just don't
01:01:20
know about that. >> good. >> So was weird. Um I thought that was a whole weird thing.
01:01:26
>> Another backstory though that gets revealed is Rosalie's. >> Yes. >> Rosalie's. And this
01:01:31
>> Rosalie's >> to say about. >> Rosalie's is awful. >> It's >> But I love her [ __ ] revenge arc.
01:01:37
>> I absolutely love her revenge arc. >> I would I don't think we got enough of it.
01:01:41
>> No, I don't think we did either. I would have loved to see more of that so that I
01:01:44
could watch her slaughter all of those men. >> Oh, it would have been sick. >> I wish.
01:01:48
>> Oh, one thing I noticed in the book uh and I forgot about this. Rosalie's far more palatable in the book to to
01:01:57
Bella. >> Oh, like she's nicer to Bella. >> Okay. She's not nice, but she's like
01:02:00
>> nicer. >> nicer. She's more like respectful and less mean girl. >> Mhm. >> in the book I feel. Like she's got mean
01:02:06
girl energy, but like Nikki Reed I think plays her I I almost I like her Rosalie
01:02:13
better than the book Rosalie because I think Nikki Reed does like just [ __ ] y'all so well.
01:02:20
>> I think she has that perfect delivery and perfect face for it. Like she can give such good expressions. So it is
01:02:26
different to see Rosalie be so different book and in movie. But we get the we get her backstory because
01:02:36
she kind of storms out when at least in the movie when Bella's talking about being turned.
01:02:41
>> Mhm. >> Uh when Bella's kind of like being weird with Emmett about it. >> Yeah, she's low-key flirting.
01:02:46
>> I was like you're like maybe don't do that. >> She would annoy me to be quite honest if
01:02:49
she was talking to >> Right. >> to my to my man's like that. >> Yeah. >> But Rosalie in the book is talking about
01:02:55
and you know, she goes on. She tells her like this is why I don't think you should be so excited about being turned
01:03:00
>> Yeah. >> into a newborn. >> Yeah. >> And she tells the backstory. She says she came from like a middle class
01:03:04
family. She was marr but she said she was a looker. That was what she had going for her. She was the most
01:03:11
beautiful girl that anyone had ever seen. And she even says in the book which I literally wrote WTF. She wrote
01:03:18
she was pleased and she says pleased that men's eyes watched me everywhere I went from the year I turned 12.
01:03:26
Oh. >> That's not good. >> That's upsetting. >> No, it's not good. >> Um but the but that aside
01:03:34
uh she talks about how she was, you know, hooked up with this really fancy son of a banker, Royce King.
01:03:42
>> And Royce King and her were going to get married. They were going to have a lavish wedding and she says she was
01:03:47
never jealous of anybody because she was a [ __ ] dime piece. She was like what did I have to be jealous of? She says
01:03:53
except my friend Vera. And she says my friend Vera was married to a good man and she had a little boy.
01:03:59
>> And doesn't she say like Vera was like fine? >> Oh, she she says that later. She doesn't
01:04:04
say that until later. But she says it and Vera had a little boy so she was a mother and she said she wanted that. And
01:04:10
she's like and I was jealous. For the first time I felt jealous. And she but she's like, you know what?
01:04:15
She's like and I you know, I went to her house one night and as we were leaving,
01:04:20
her husband when he thought I wasn't looking gave her like the sweetest kiss on the cheek. And she said and for a
01:04:26
minute I thought like Royce doesn't do that and like that's not and then she was like, but whatever. Like I'm going
01:04:30
to have kids someday with Royce and it'll be amazing. >> I'll get the future that I want.
01:04:34
>> bothered me this is just like a writing thing. Probably cuz I'm like deep in writing right now so I'm like very
01:04:39
nitpicking all writing. But she wrote Royce was my prince, someday I would be queen.
01:04:46
And I said, you're going to be his mom? Like that's somebody should have caught that. Somebody should have been like,
01:04:50
up, nope. You either have to be the princess or he has to be king. Like you can't that cuz I was like that's that
01:04:56
doesn't make sense. >> No. >> nitpicky in the book but I'm like, that >> No, but I get that.
01:05:00
>> like, you're going to be >> That's just weird. >> Like I don't get it. Don't be his mama.
01:05:04
But she says that, you know, she was leaving that night and she happened to run into Royce and
01:05:13
his friends who were drinking on a street corner and he starts being like, "Oh, like look at my future wife. Isn't
01:05:19
she hot?" And they're like, "She's wearing too many clothes." And they literally like say they assault her.
01:05:24
>> Yeah. >> Isn't it like the night before she's to be married, too? >> it's soon, at least. They rape her and
01:05:29
they brutally assault her and leave her to die in the street. And I think in um at one point it says
01:05:38
that in the book he says that when when they were leaving she could hear them literally saying like you're going
01:05:45
to have to find a new wife, I guess. Because they were like, "Oh, she's dead. We killed her." Like that's how little
01:05:50
they cared. >> Nice. >> And what she does is she ends up getting turned by Carlisle who comes across her
01:05:57
>> bleeding in the street. >> book she's met Carlisle. Carlisle is the town doctor.
01:06:02
>> Okay. >> doesn't like him. >> Oh. >> And she doesn't like him because she said him, his wife Esme, and who were
01:06:09
they were saying >> Esme and Edward were sister and brother at that point. >> And so she said that they all
01:06:15
were more beautiful than her and it irritated her that the men were more beautiful than her.
01:06:21
So she didn't like him. >> I'm upset. >> And she said, "So what do you think of that?"
01:06:25
>> that. >> So when she come when he comes to save her, she's like, "What the [ __ ] Like of
01:06:30
course these [ __ ] are these more beautiful [ __ ] are going to save me." So of course Carlisle turns
01:06:36
her into vampire Rosalie. This really got me. Because she says she woke up and she says
01:06:45
"Shallow as it was, I felt better when I saw my reflection in the mirror the first time. Despite the eyes, I was the
01:06:51
most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. It took some time before I began to blame the beauty for what had happened to me.
01:06:58
For me to see the curse of it. To wish that I had been well, not ugly, but normal. Like Vera.
01:07:07
So I would have allowed to marry someone who loved me and have pretty babies. >> [ __ ]
01:07:13
Imagine reading your best friend a filth like that. >> Not only did you just read your best
01:07:17
friend a filth like that, but you're literally saying in strands >> that hot girls have it coming.
01:07:26
And it's like, I'm sorry, what? >> That's you being beautiful had nothing to do with the fact that you were raped
01:07:33
by multiple men and killed and left to >> No. Or like almost killed and left in the streets and everything to do with
01:07:38
bad men. >> Yeah. >> Has nothing to do with how beautiful you are. Holy [ __ ] >> Holy [ __ ]
01:07:45
>> better way to do that would have had her sit there and say, I blamed me for it.
01:07:52
>> Right. >> I started to blame me for it, but then I realized >> It's them. >> my fault. It's pig ass men who did it.
01:08:00
>> when I attacked them. >> that's when I attacked them because then after that she says,
01:08:05
>> This is so good. >> I picked them off one by one. And in the book she's like, I've only killed five
01:08:09
humans in my life. And she's like, it was all of them. And then she says And she says, I didn't I've never drank the
01:08:15
blood of a human. She says in the book. She's the only one besides Carlisle or No.
01:08:21
Esme. >> Okay. >> That hasn't drank the blood of a human. >> Wow. >> says And when she says, I've killed five
01:08:27
humans. She was like, but I don't want their blood in me. Like [ __ ] that. >> What a queen.
01:08:31
>> And she says And she says She's saying, I left Royce for last because he knew I was coming
01:08:37
because all of his friends had been murdered before him. >> She goes, so I killed five humans. And
01:08:41
then she goes, oops, seven. Just kidding because of the doormen. >> I was like, that's amazing. I was like,
01:08:47
I love that. >> Oh, wait a second. Seven. >> Just kidding. >> But I love too that she left him for
01:08:53
last. >> Left him for last and then she banged that door down wearing a [ __ ] wedding
01:08:57
dress. >> That is some Ready or Not type [ __ ] when >> says, I was more theatrical back then, I
01:09:02
love it. >> Nikki Reed eats that line, too. She eats this scene. >> can see in her eyes that she's like
01:09:08
reminiscing on it. >> about it, like that was great. >> aw, how fun. >> Yeah, like [ __ ] that was a lot of fun.
01:09:12
>> it. >> I >> I wish we got so much more of that in the movie. >> I would love to see all of their
01:09:18
backstories. I want to see Alice. I want to see all of them. I mean, I could We saw I'm like, you gave me Jasper's and
01:09:24
you don't give me anyone else? >> Alice's is so sad. She was like locked away by her parents.
01:09:29
>> And I would love to see >> gifts. >> Yeah, like I want to see Emmett. Like, what the [ __ ] happened with Show me
01:09:34
Emmett. >> Emmett was getting like mauled by a bear or something. >> me that. Let's show me what's going on.
01:09:40
>> And then Esme, I think Esme's is really sad. She, according to the illustrated
01:09:44
guide, um I think her son died and she jumped off a cliff. >> Yeah, that one was like crazy.
01:09:51
>> Yeah, that one was really sad. >> It's yeah, I would have loved to see that cuz I I thought that was awesome.
01:09:57
>> Yeah. >> And I just And it I like how it gave you like a little I do love that they gave you a little more
01:10:02
to why Rosalie is the way she is. >> too. You know? >> She's like, why would you give up
01:10:07
>> Yeah. >> my dream? >> She doesn't do it in the movie, but in the book she talks about how she cuz
01:10:12
Bella's like, why the [ __ ] did you Why do you hate me? Like, that still doesn't
01:10:16
answer the question like why are you so mean? And she's like Well, she says that
01:10:19
and then she says And also, she was like, I hate to do like she's like, I'm not trying to like be stupid now. And she
01:10:24
was like, but she was like, it annoyed me that Edward thought you were better than I was.
01:10:31
>> Because they were originally going to be together, right? >> They were I think Carlisle had wanted a
01:10:34
companion for Edward, but Edward wanted nothing to do with that. And she says she was like, he wanted he never showed
01:10:40
interest. And she was like, and to be honest, I thought he was annoying, too. Like, I didn't want to be with him. And
01:10:45
she was like, I still don't. And she's like, it's not cuz I want to be with him. I've just never been the second
01:10:50
best. Like, I've never been turned down like >> been >> the not the most beautiful.
01:10:55
>> I've never been the Vera. >> Yeah, I'm not the I'm I'm the Vera now? Like what the [ __ ] is that?
01:10:59
>> the normal looking one. >> Yeah, no, [ __ ] that. Like she's like I hate it. But she and she even says something in
01:11:05
the book about how like when they met the Was it the Denali tribe? >> Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:11:11
>> And she says like it's all females and like I thought, you know, like it she and he didn't show any interest in any
01:11:16
of them either. And like what the [ __ ] Like we were like what's going on until
01:11:20
you came. And later Bella's like super insecure about that and is like did they show interest in you? Like who's that?
01:11:27
And then we find out that one of them did. Like and I think she comes in Breaking Dawn. I think we see her.
01:11:32
>> Oh, [ __ ] >> I'm pretty sure. >> I don't remember any of that. >> remember who it is, but interesting. But yeah, I
01:11:39
love Rosalie's back story except for the fact that she's like, you know what? It was just
01:11:45
cuz I was too hot. If I had been ugly, I would have been fine. It's like, whoa. >> Everybody's flawed.
01:11:50
>> That's that's not it at all, babe. >> Speaking of like relationship dynamics though, we should talk about
01:11:57
Emily and Leah and Sam. >> [ __ ] yeah, we should. >> That is a [ __ ] up story.
01:12:03
>> Yeah. >> So, Sam is like the leader of the pack. >> The alpha. >> And he is married or I think engaged to
01:12:10
Emily. >> And she's the one like last time we were talking about like she has the scar on
01:12:14
her face cuz she was too close to him when he phased once. And now I think this is the first time that we're
01:12:19
introduced to Leah in the book and the movie. >> Yeah. >> And she has phased and remember her
01:12:24
phasing >> killed her father. >> Yeah. He had a heart attack. >> So, she gave him a heart attack because
01:12:29
he didn't think that like a girl could phase cuz previously it was all just the boys that did.
01:12:34
So, she originally dated Sam >> Yeah. >> for 3 years in high school. Her and this
01:12:41
is all according to the Illustrated Guide, her junior year of high school, he just went missing cuz I think like
01:12:47
weird [ __ ] was happening to him happening to him cuz he was going to be be soon and then he did.
01:12:52
He comes back after he's phased and is being like super duper secretive with Leah and won't tell her anything, won't
01:12:58
say where he was, like nothing. And then he goes to a barbecue at her house with her family and Emily, her
01:13:06
second cousin, is there. >> And like best friend. >> And lit- Yeah, it literally says they
01:13:11
were raised like sisters. Like they spent all of their free time together, like bestie girls.
01:13:16
>> Mhm. >> He sees Emily at this party as he's holding Leah's hands and imprints on
01:13:24
Emily. Drops Leah's hand and walks over to Emily and is like, "What the [ __ ] is up,
01:13:31
girl?" >> I would. I would. It's like he set fire. >> What the [ __ ] Now, this is all
01:13:38
according to the illustrated guide. It goes so deep into it. I actually do recommend it. This is the first time
01:13:43
that I've looked at it on my own myself. So, at first, Emily's like, "Fuck no, that's like super messed up to my bestie
01:13:50
girl cousin sister Leah." >> [ __ ] >> Like I would never do that to her, but then she just like can't really help
01:13:56
herself, it seems. >> Well, that he that night he leaves the party and the next day he breaks up with
01:14:01
Leah. >> Yeah, like inexplicably. >> starts pursuing Emily and Emily's like, "What the fuck?" And she tells Leah and
01:14:07
Leah's like, "What the fuck?" And in the illustrated guide, it's like she can't help herself but be attracted to Sam
01:14:14
either. And I was like, "But that's not how you set imprinting up to work." Because
01:14:19
it's supposed to be like the the wolf is the one that's imprinted. Like he's the one who can't stop. In fact,
01:14:26
and I'll find it because what the [ __ ] I have a note here that says imprinting
01:14:30
is [ __ ] gross. >> Well, because while you're looking for that, in the illustrated guide, it also
01:14:35
says that it is physically painful for Sam to be away from Emily now that he's imprinted on her. Like he can't be far
01:14:44
away from her. After that, like that whole thing when like she you know they get together and all that.
01:14:50
>> And Emily's like, "Yeah, like I was trying to keep it, you know, I but I couldn't stop, so we had to be together
01:14:56
and I just decided to betray my friend." And it's like, "Okay." And then she's like, "I tried to make it like not super
01:15:02
uncomfortable for her." Then she asked her to be a bridesmaid in her wedding. Emily?
01:15:07
Get [ __ ] Go [ __ ] yourself. >> You That is not girls-girl behavior. Are you [ __ ] kidding? If I was Leah, I
01:15:13
would say I'd rather shoot my kneecaps out, both of them, myself, than be in your wedding. Go [ __ ] yourself, Tess.
01:15:19
Guess what? I hope it sucks, okay? I will not be there. No, I'm not going to buy an ugly dress for your [ __ ]
01:15:26
wedding to my ex-boyfriend, you absolute trash [ __ ] Like, are you kidding me? >> I would Oh my god.
01:15:33
>> You [ __ ] dick muncher. >> I would I would go Walter Frey, Walder Frey, and Red Wedding that [ __ ] I'd
01:15:42
kill them all. >> show up in chainmail and I'd be like, "Let's go!" Get the Rains of Castamere playing,
01:15:48
everybody. >> I'd show up in chainmail and then I'd ride away on a dragon. >> [ __ ] you. [ __ ] you all.
01:15:56
I was so mad for her when I read that in the Illustrated Guide. I was like, "Fuck
01:16:00
you, Emily." So then in the book, speaking of imprinting, in the book, Jacob mentions
01:16:07
that um >> I'm sorry, I'm just picturing you in chainmail. >> Yeah. As Walder Frey.
01:16:11
>> Just >> Striking up the band. Let's go. You got to play Rains of Castamere. Um so
01:16:19
Quil, one of the wolf pack, has met the lovely lady with which he is going to imprint upon.
01:16:27
Uh he's imprinted on uh one of their cousins, Claire. And they're like, yeah, so they're just
01:16:33
like kind of like Emily doesn't really want him around Claire. And then Bella's like
01:16:41
And Bella's like, "Well, that's weird that Emily would be like weird about him being a wolf. Like is she being like
01:16:47
stupid? Like she's engaged to a wolf. Like what the [ __ ] And he's like, well, no.
01:16:53
Um it's because Claire is 2 years old. And I was like, and then he goes, don't be judgmental. Don't be judgmental.
01:17:02
>> Oh, okay. >> Don't be judgmental. Period. I'm calling the authorities. Like what do you mean
01:17:07
don't be judgmental? Hello, 911? >> That's insane. >> Hello? Are you What? And then he try he gets real defensive
01:17:16
about this. Like this is I'm like, I'm sorry if part of your whole vibe and aura is that your your people
01:17:25
[ __ ] imprint on babies. >> Yep. >> And that there's no man imprinting on a boy. There's no girl imprinting on a
01:17:34
girl. So it does imply romantic and also they imply romantic things here. Even though they say there isn't, they always
01:17:41
end up together. >> Yeah, and that's the goal. So it's like there is romantic [ __ ] here. It's
01:17:45
predatory. [ __ ] that. >> And so he and he gets so defensive about it. I'm like, I'm sorry, you need to be
01:17:50
a little more open to the fact that this is going to [ __ ] horrify everybody you tell.
01:17:55
>> Absolutely. >> And so he says she's like, yeah, that's really [ __ ] creepy. Like I'm not
01:18:03
going to lie to you, bro. >> Yeah. >> And he's like, it's not like that. You've got it all wrong. And then he
01:18:07
says, I've seen what it's like. There's nothing romantic about it all. Not for Quill. Not now.
01:18:13
And I'm like, nope, that's still predatory, babe. Cuz he's just waiting until she's of age. That's still weird.
01:18:18
>> That's even weirder almost. >> And it says, um it's hard to describe. It's like it's
01:18:23
not like love at first sight really. It's more like gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly it's not the earth
01:18:29
holding you here anymore. She does. The 2-year-old? And you're telling me that's not weird?
01:18:36
>> What the [ __ ] >> You're telling me that 2-year-old who just [ __ ] her pants is holding you to
01:18:42
the earth right now? >> No, and she is. >> Like that's what I like >> It literally in the illustrated guide
01:18:50
it said, "For me inside there could be nothing more pure than Quill's feelings for Claire."
01:18:55
>> [ __ ] up, Stephanie. >> would never do anything to hurt her in any way mentally or physically. I'm
01:19:01
like, "Mentally she might be [ __ ] up." >> But it's hurting me mentally, okay? >> It was mandated by the bond between
01:19:06
them. All the wolves could experience the nature of his feelings for her, so they knew exactly how deep it was, but
01:19:12
also how platonic it was. >> No. >> But they knew it was something that outsiders would not be able to
01:19:16
understand. So they kept the imprinting as secret as possible. I'm also like, "That's even more [ __ ] up."
01:19:22
>> really nefarious. >> But Quill could only be content with his situation as long was as long as Claire
01:19:27
was happy and safe, he was satisfied with life. >> No. And this is the thing, they're like,
01:19:33
"No, it's totally platonic." Really? Cuz what does this mean? When he's saying there isn't, you know,
01:19:39
there isn't a toddler on the planet that will be more carefully looked after than
01:19:42
that little girl will be. That's weird and predatory. >> like it. >> And then when she's older and needs a
01:19:48
friend, he'll be more understanding, trustworthy, and reliable than anyone else she knows. And then when she's
01:19:53
grown up, they'll be as happy as Emily and Sam. >> So they end up together. >> them [ __ ] So
01:20:00
>> why couldn't they end up more like a brother and a sister? >> Why can't they do that?
01:20:03
>> Because it's not platonic. >> I'm like, "Do you know what platonic means?" >> It's because they're not platonic.
01:20:10
Nothing about it is They always end up together. That's the goal. The goal is for them to end up together, and I hate
01:20:16
that they present it like that's not the case. I'm like, "That's Why the [ __ ] did
01:20:20
you make that up?" >> Well, I think the whole reason that she I don't even I don't
01:20:24
even know. Because I think she needed somebody other than Jacob to imprint on a child.
01:20:30
>> Horrifying. >> Which is [ __ ] >> Then why did you need to imprint at all? Why did Why does this need to be a
01:20:35
thing? >> Great question >> It's weird. >> In the illustrated guide, it literally
01:20:41
says, "Of lesser concern was the fact that so many members of the pack was were imprinting. According to legend,
01:20:46
imprinting was a rare event that the majority of werewolves would never experience."
01:20:51
>> but suddenly everybody's imprinting on everyone? >> They blame it on the Cullens.
01:20:55
>> Oh, please. >> They say, "The pack theorized that the increase in imprinting frequency was due
01:20:59
to the continued presence of the large Cullen coven. Their genetic subconscious was compensating compensating for the
01:21:05
constant vampire threat, pushing all of them towards paths that would result in a strengthened werewolf presence." But
01:21:12
>> You know what that means? Procreation, which again points >> Yes. >> to them creating babies by [ __ ]
01:21:19
which means they are not platonic. >> also Of course, that theory was dependent upon the truth of their first
01:21:24
theory that imprinted imprinting existed in order to pass on the werewolf gene, a
01:21:28
theory that in light of Jacob's imprinting experience has been called into question.
01:21:34
>> This is what I'm talking about. >> I like you're just contradicting the [ __ ] out of yourself.
01:21:37
>> Literally just contradicting the [ __ ] out of yourself. >> that I just read, contradiction,
01:21:41
contradiction, contradiction. >> are saying the whole point of imprinting is to keep that vampire gene going by
01:21:47
[ __ ] >> First >> Spreading seed. That's not platonic. >> First, you're saying imprinting is super
01:21:53
duper rare and doesn't happen. Then you're saying it's the Cullen's fault, and now it's to spread seed,
01:21:58
unfortunately. But at the same time it's somehow platonic. >> Platonic. >> And also to continue on the legacy, but
01:22:04
then it's not because Jacob imprints on a vampire human named Renesmee. >> Named Renesmee Carlie.
01:22:13
>> That's the other >> Carlie. >> Can we talk about that? >> and Carlisle together.
01:22:18
>> So, one last thing before we go there. >> Go girl. >> That may be crazy. >> Is Bella and when she tells them about
01:22:25
Claire, the two-year-old the two-year-old that has no choice in this matter. She says, "Doesn't Claire get a
01:22:30
choice here?" Period. And he says, "Of course, but why wouldn't she choose him?"
01:22:36
And I said, "Okay, you can take several [ __ ] seats right now. Why wouldn't she choose him? Because
01:22:41
she's two? I don't know. And he's the [ __ ] adult that has known her since she was born,
01:22:52
He's a weird [ __ ] uncle that's waiting in the wings to date you. Of course she doesn't have to choose
01:22:58
him. And it's just like showing like they they don't have a choice. Because their only choice here is to one give in
01:23:06
to it because why wouldn't she? And if you choose not to, then now you have just destined this
01:23:12
poor man to a life of loneliness cuz he you are his one true person. Not only loneliness, if you don't end up near him
01:23:21
if like in physical location, he will be in physical pain. And that's the thing.
01:23:26
So it's like So it is totally on this woman, this now Oh, excuse me, this two-year-old
01:23:33
that if she doesn't go with this and doesn't fall in love with him, that he now is just going You've destined him to
01:23:39
loneliness for the rest of his life. To be alone. And in pain. Yep. Babe, what the [ __ ] is up with that? Come on,
01:23:46
[ __ ] So while we were reading all of that, we were like, And then the Renesmee of all
01:23:51
which of it all which we're going to get to in part two or in breaking it down. In breaking it down. But before we get
01:23:56
there, so we were just saying that obviously Renesmee is the combination of their moms' names. And then Carly Carly
01:24:04
is her middle name according to the guide, which is a combination of the dads' names. So I said, "What would my
01:24:09
child's name be in that case?" It's pretty iconic. Are you guys ready? I don't think you're
01:24:14
ready. Donnie Joto. Donnie Joto goes so hard. Donnie Joto >> Hello, I'm Donnie Joto.
01:24:24
>> Amazing and you're >> Donnie Joto >> would be Carrie Dak. >> Carrie Dak >> Carrie Dak and
01:24:30
and Donnie Joto >> Why do they sound like two like >> Carrie Dak and Donnie Joto
01:24:35
>> I feel like they could go on a grand adventure. >> I think they're like they're like
01:24:41
explorers. >> They are. I think so. >> I like that a lot. >> I'm never going to be over Donnie
01:24:47
>> goes so hard. >> I love it so much. >> It really does. >> Um you know what doesn't go hard though?
01:24:52
>> girl. >> [ __ ] Victoria's hair in this. >> Okay, so let's talk about let's talk
01:24:56
about the switch up. So >> Yeah. >> Who was the original actress that played Rachelle Lefevre?
01:25:02
>> Oh, yes. >> Cuz she's not in this one. >> She got recasted. >> Dallas Howard.
01:25:07
>> And it's interesting. So I I was looking up like why she got recasted because she's literally like no
01:25:14
no shade to Bryce Dallas Howard, whatever. >> No. She's just not Victoria. >> No, she's not.
01:25:19
>> She's just not. >> She's not. >> The original Bryce the original the original Bryce Dallas Howard
01:25:23
the original Victoria was perfect. >> Yes. >> So Rachelle ended up getting recasted
01:25:29
because there was some like clause in her um in her contract where she couldn't go do like another movie in the
01:25:36
middle of filming. >> Yeah. >> Like for a super long time. But there was it's I mean obviously I haven't
01:25:40
looked at the contract, but she could she could do like short stints. >> Yeah. >> So she accepted a movie that was going
01:25:46
to be I think there was like a couple days overlap during the three month period where they were going to be uh
01:25:52
filming >> Yeah. >> Eclipse. And apparently they were very upset about it even though she was
01:25:58
within her rights to do it and they recasted her. And she was shocked, I guess. >> I think that was the dumbest move
01:26:03
imaginable. >> I do too because here's the thing. It was said to have only been a few days
01:26:08
over a three month filming course. Victoria's not even in the movie that was >> No, she's not.
01:26:13
>> So you could have just filmed her scenes when she either like before she left or
01:26:17
when she got back. And to not give her she's built up this character for two two movies and she's she's Victoria. I
01:26:25
think she's amazing at it and to not give her that end. >> That's the thing. >> Cuz that's the thing too. It's like this
01:26:33
is the end of her anyways. >> Yeah. >> So let her finish out the character. >> I don't understand. It's dumb as hell
01:26:38
because also no shade to Bryce Dallas Howard. She did what she could do. >> They don't look alike.
01:26:44
>> They don't look alike. >> And it's also like the hair drove me [ __ ] crazy. >> Because
01:26:48
>> because Victoria's hair in the first two movies she has like feral. >> It's well and it's like tousled like
01:26:55
>> and I live in the woods. I've been running through the woods kind of like big wavy just like
01:27:00
>> the thing. It's not curly. It's not like curled. >> No, it's waves and it's like
01:27:05
it's just like it's like a a feral in like a gorgeous way, you know what I mean?
01:27:10
>> a fairy creature. >> Yeah, like she is a fairy creature and it's like that and it makes sense and it
01:27:15
works. And then in this one they have it like super red. >> It's like in spiral curled and crunchy.
01:27:24
>> Like she literally looks like she took >> mousse and scrunched her hair. And it's shorter and it just doesn't
01:27:30
work. And it's a completely different hair color. And I'm like you just took me right out
01:27:35
of that storyline with that. >> And they also like it again no shade to Bryce Dallas Howard but she plays the
01:27:41
role completely different than Rachelle did. >> It's like softer and like not as edgy.
01:27:48
>> And and when she has a look of like uh like what? >> And and she sounds that way too.
01:27:55
>> And I feel like Victoria's like this slinky cat like like >> Yes. >> Like and she's more she is I've never
01:28:03
seen Victoria in the first two book in the two first two books or the first two movies be like
01:28:09
>> what? >> Like wide-eyed like I'm sorry mister. >> Like that's the idea that the third one
01:28:16
gives. And it just doesn't work. It's not >> don't understand why somebody on set
01:28:21
wasn't like, "Let's try that again in like a different way." Or just >> I don't understand.
01:28:25
>> kept Rochelle. >> And even at the end I was like, "This isn't satisfying." Cuz I haven't seen
01:28:29
her in two movies, so it makes me upset. >> Yeah. >> I really didn't like it. >> Yeah. That I would I so wish that we had
01:28:36
the end with Vic the real Victoria. >> It's true. >> real Victoria please stand up?
01:28:40
>> Truly. And another thing in this movie just to like close all this out is um Renee continues being the worst mother.
01:28:48
>> Why is Renee not at graduation? >> to graduation. >> And she gives Bella a gift when cuz So
01:28:53
Bella goes to visit her mom because the Cullens actually bought her round trip round trip flight because she's going to
01:29:00
be changed soon, so this is probably going to be the last time she sees her mom.
01:29:03
>> Yeah. >> Because also apparently her mom's not coming to her [ __ ] high school
01:29:07
graduation. >> Or going to see her in college? Like, what? She was like, "I'm not going to
01:29:12
come visit you." >> I was like, "What the fuck?" >> She's like, "Well, you're going to Well,
01:29:16
Renee's a [ __ ] according to the illustrated guide, too, because she hates the sun She hates the rain. So if
01:29:22
she's not near the sun, she can't she can't live. Yeah. >> And it's like, "Get over it."
01:29:26
>> and Charlie apparently like met while she was on a road trip. They got married. They had this like whirlwind
01:29:30
romance. And he was taking care of his parents. His mom had Alzheimer's, and his dad had some kind of mobility
01:29:36
issues. So they lived like down the street and were taking care of them. And then
01:29:41
she just decided that she couldn't handle life in Forks anymore, and she was experiencing postpartum depression,
01:29:46
too, apparently. And also remember this is a fictional character. >> Yeah. >> So she up and left Charlie. And and
01:29:53
wanted him to move with her. And she It literally says she knew it wasn't kind to ask him to abandon his parents and
01:30:01
>> Yeah, like what do you want him to do? >> was like, "No, I can't do that." He's
01:30:04
also their only child. >> Yeah. >> So she was like, "Okay, well, like I'm going to go move back to California.
01:30:08
>> our baby and leave. >> And she did. >> Yeah. >> And then also she just like wasn't
01:30:13
really a mom when Bella was growing up. The Illustrated Guide says that Bella was doing their bookkeeping by age 10.
01:30:19
>> Yeah. And her mom like never like didn't know how to cook, like wouldn't make the
01:30:23
meals, like didn't do >> Literally didn't know like what she was doing with her kids. She had to do
01:30:26
everything herself. >> Like when you read the book and you read some of the things like
01:30:31
she she was the parentified child. >> Oh absolutely. Cuz also >> It's it even says in the Illustrated
01:30:39
Guide that she didn't object to Bella leaving because she knew that she'd be okay in Forks.
01:30:43
>> Yeah. >> And like because she had found this new man. >> Yeah, Phil. She's got her baseball
01:30:47
player Phil. >> It's like and he's adventurous like she is. >> I'm like wow, you're a [ __ ] mom and you
01:30:52
probably shouldn't have had kids. >> It's true. And I you know what the last thing I
01:30:57
have to say is um I saw this pointed out by someone and I was like I can't get over how much of
01:31:03
a fumble this is that they didn't use the um the line from the book which is when Jacob and Bella are
01:31:13
talking about like how he's like you love me but you love him like blah blah blah. So they're talking about how like
01:31:19
um you know, he can deal with a like she's saying like you know, I have all this stuff going on and he's like and
01:31:24
basically refers to them as like the clouds in my life. >> Mhm. >> And he's like I can deal with that he
01:31:29
says the clouds I can handle but I can't fight with an eclipse. >> Ah. >> Edward is the eclipse.
01:31:35
>> Right. >> And that's why the book is named Eclipse. And I was like why didn't you
01:31:39
leave that in the movie? >> Yeah. >> It's a good line too I thought. >> So I'm like that was a weird thing to
01:31:44
skip. That's really weird. >> Literally the perfect way to end this. >> Yeah. >> Look at you calling it. I didn't even
01:31:50
know you were going to say that [ __ ] >> I can handle but I can't fight with an
01:31:53
eclipse. >> Wow. >> Yeah. >> How that is a great [ __ ] line. >> It is a great line.
01:31:58
>> Like kudos. >> going over these movies more than I love oxygen. Breaking Dawn part one and two
01:32:05
is going to be so unhinged that I can't even like this was subdued. >> Yeah. >> Compared to what? Cuz we did I think
01:32:13
this just wasn't like our favorite one. >> Yeah, it's not my favorite one. So it
01:32:16
really doesn't hit as hard but >> Breaking Dawn goes I also was just saying to Elena, I can't remember the
01:32:22
last time that I saw Breaking Dawn. >> No, I can't either. >> I had last Halloween I watched Twilight
01:32:28
New Moon and I watched half of Eclipse I never finished it. So we finished it for
01:32:31
this but Breaking Dawn one and two I don't I the last time I saw those might have
01:32:37
been the first time I watched them. >> Yeah. >> I don't know that I've ever rewatched
01:32:41
them. >> I don't know if I have. >> I'm so excited. >> going to be a real experience.
01:32:45
>> And we're going to do two separate episodes. >> Yeah, we'll do two separate ones. We'll
01:32:48
keep it going. >> Hell yeah. >> Yeah. >> All right brothers, well we'll see you then and we hope you enjoyed this.
01:32:52
>> We hope you did. >> And we hope you keep listening. >> And we hope you keep it weird.
01:32:57
>> But not so weird that like you um act like anyone in this book. Period. >> Literally.
01:34:36
>> Mhm.