00:00:00
Hey weirdos, I'm Ema and I'm Hades and this is Villains Morbid. [Music] >> I can't stop saying that.
00:00:18
>> I It's great. I got the potion phrase. You got the lips. >> The potion was a nice little uh like
00:00:26
>> on the fly. Yeah. Your kids Did your kids make this? They sure did. It's one of the bath time potions.
00:00:31
>> I was getting ready in the bathroom and I was like, "Oh, let me take that." >> She just found it in my bathroom was
00:00:36
like, "This would work perfect." I was like, "Can I use that?" >> I said, "Can I tape a llama to this?"
00:00:41
>> Sure can. >> Here we go. >> Sure can. >> Um, so yeah, we're villains today. >> Villaincentric.
00:00:47
>> We're villains every day. No, I'm just kidding. >> Villains all the time. >> Villains. I can't move my head.
00:00:51
>> How many people we are? >> Yeah, if you ask. If you ask, never mind. If you're watching this when it
00:00:57
comes out, our live show is tomorrow. >> It's tomorrow >> and we're freaking stoked to see you
00:01:02
there. >> It's gonna be so fun. >> It's so weird like looking at the camera because all I can see is little scraps
00:01:07
of construction paper in my eyeballs and then also I can't move my head too much
00:01:11
because this really rolls around. Yeah, she really committed. I really committed
00:01:15
to this one. Yeah, >> Drew said um I I sent him a picture and he goes, "There's so much to take in,
00:01:20
but this might be my favorite one yet." >> I love that. >> I just love there's so much to take in.
00:01:25
I told John, I was like, "I have to paint myself blue." And he said, "Like Blue Man Group." And I said, "Kind of."
00:01:30
And he said, "Oh, okay. >> Okay." >> Yeah. >> I like that. He was like, "Just another
00:01:34
day at the office." >> He said, "Just another day at the office." I was like, "Sure is."
00:01:37
>> Yeah. You know, sure is. >> Well, so >> what other exciting things have we had?
00:01:42
>> Yeah, we have our live show coming up tomorrow. We also just had Sam and Colby
00:01:46
here in the his house. >> That was super fun. >> They're the sweetest. We love them.
00:01:50
>> Yeah, they're awesome and iconic and amazing. >> We love them. We had so much fun with
00:01:54
them. And you'll get to hear it. >> Yeah, you'll not only will you get to hear it, we're going to be um if you
00:02:00
want to see it, working on editing some of the video footage together so that you can see our little combo that we had
00:02:08
>> cuz I think you guys saw like a couple of clips, but >> we're going to be releasing the whole
00:02:12
thing, I think. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Shout out to Mikey Pleasure >> for doing that.
00:02:16
>> Yeah. >> Um so yeah, those are very exciting things. And what's more exciting is that
00:02:21
today is listener tales. It's brought to you by you, for you, from you, and all about you. And we're
00:02:28
blue and purple. >> We're blue and purple. The lighting is blue and purple. We have a new table.
00:02:32
Check out our new table. This doll is haunted. >> And also a sneak peek into something
00:02:38
happening. >> Um, we have coffee because we got an espresso machine. Sponsor us, please.
00:02:45
>> Espresso. >> We love your coffee. >> We do. >> Cheers. Cheers. Eye contact. eye
00:02:53
contact. >> That was a very good cheers. >> It was. Hold on. >> I hope this doesn't turn me into a
00:03:01
llama. >> We al Oh, we have a haunted doll. And we also have Ruby. >> Oh, yeah. Rachel Stavis um sent us Ruby.
00:03:10
And I don't know if we've talked about Ruby on the pod before. >> Yeah. Rachel Stavis is your everybody's
00:03:14
favorite exorcist. >> Yeah. Hollywood exorcist. >> Yeah. Um she's a queen. >> She's so [ __ ] cool.
00:03:19
>> Literal queen. >> We've had her on the pod a few times. You know Rachel. She's wonderful and
00:03:23
beautiful and we love her. Shout out to Rachel. But she gave us Ruby and Ruby has a spirit.
00:03:28
>> Yeah, Ruby is the spirit >> inside the skull and she loves jokes and flowers.
00:03:33
>> She does and we give her plenty. >> Yeah, she's a good time gal. >> Yeah, she is a good time gal. All right.
00:03:38
Well, yeah. So, anyways, it's Listener Tales brought to you by you, for you, from you and all about you. And today we
00:03:43
have 2000's tales. Hercules was like 90s, right? Like late 90s. >> Move out of my way.
00:03:50
>> He just said move out of my way. Nicholas did. He did. I I'm sorry. I don't know where you are, Nicholas. So,
00:03:56
>> it's more polite to say, "Excuse me." >> That's very true. >> But, uh, Hercules was 1997.
00:04:04
>> Okay. So, you were It was almost there. I know. Eer's New Group was the 2000s
00:04:08
because it was one of the first Disney movies I ever watched. >> It was 2000. >> It was 2000. So, I'm on the nose.
00:04:14
>> That was one of the first um movies that I remember Papa Me on VHS. >> Oh, I love that.
00:04:19
>> Yeah. You know, Emma, I feel like you have the soul of Ema in there somewhere.
00:04:25
>> Oh, definitely. >> Just her fabulosity. >> Thank you. You know, thank you so much.
00:04:28
That's what my profile is on um on Disney. >> It's true. It is. >> And the girls are always like, "What is
00:04:33
that?" We got to show them Emperor Emperor's New Groove. >> We got to show them um Hercules, too,
00:04:39
because we we play that like Dreamlight Valley game >> and um that game is sick.
00:04:44
>> That game slaps. >> Like really good. And Hades is in there and they love Hades. Oh. So, let's go.
00:04:50
We'll have to show them pictures of us later. >> We do. >> All right. So, do you want to go first
00:04:54
or do you want me to go first? >> I'll go first. >> Go first. >> Which one am I going to do?
00:04:58
>> I don't know. So, I'm going to do one that is called listener tail submission.
00:05:05
>> And that's it. That's That's the listener tale. Um it's So, this is from Mary. Let me open it. And it's actually
00:05:14
called That Time I Was 13 and Talked to a Dead Guy About Maxie Pads. Whoa. Wait,
00:05:19
where is that? Which one was it? >> It's got a listener tail submission plus super cute dog and cat cuddling pics.
00:05:25
Gotcha. >> That listener tail submission is too funny. >> No, it is. It's way too funny to pass
00:05:29
up. >> So, this one says, "Dear Ash and Elena, first of all, here's the obligatory part
00:05:34
where I tell you how much I will [ __ ] if you actually read this on the pod. You
00:05:38
do be [ __ ] You be [ __ ] But for real, hearing you share my tail would be, what's the word for when something
00:05:44
is so exciting that it makes you [ __ ] your pants? I just asked AI and it suggested gobsmacked or it made us up
00:05:50
its own term, thrill spill. A fake but catchy term for involuntary reaction to extreme thrill.
00:05:56
>> I like that. >> Ah, the magic of technology. >> Yeah, thrill spill is when you [ __ ] your
00:06:00
pants cuz you're thrilled. >> Damn. Anyways, I just wanted to start off by, of course, telling you how much
00:06:06
I appreciate you both and the many, many hours we've spent together. Like so many
00:06:10
listeners, I discovered morbid during the panty and listened to you describe unimaginable horrors because a favorite
00:06:17
pastime while I completed dozens of adult coloring books, rearranged my apartment 14,000 times, and cuddled with
00:06:23
my panty rescue foster fail pitbull baby Tino. Pictures of him and his feline sister Louise attached.
00:06:29
>> Tino and Louise obsessed. >> Note, even if you don't read this on the pod, you should take a look because they
00:06:34
love cuddling and it is so freaking adorable that you will have a thrill spill. We I wish that my cats liked my
00:06:40
dog this much. How do you Please tell me how you get there. >> Tell me your ways. You can share the
00:06:45
pictures because the world needs that kind of love right now. I agree. But please don't share my actual name
00:06:52
>> because I somehow have a big girl job, but I that I kind of want a professional
00:06:56
reputation to protect and the powers that be at my organization may not be super pleased if my name became
00:07:01
associated with things like thrill spill and ghostly possession. >> That's fair enough. For the purpose of
00:07:06
this story, let's say my name is Mary. Mary. Mary. Also, this story involves two other
00:07:13
people. >> Nobody knows. >> He said, "Nobody knows." Oh. Oh, was he saying like, "Nobody knows your real
00:07:18
name." >> Nobody knows. Now they don't know. >> Nicholas said your secret safe. >> He said, "I'm in on this."
00:07:23
>> Yeah. I thought he said Doritos at first and I was like, "We should get some Doritos later."
00:07:28
>> All right. Uh, but also this story involves two other people who I haven't spoken to in years. So, anonymous is
00:07:34
probably for the best. So, onto my tail. This is the most unexplainable thing that has ever happened to me. I love
00:07:40
that beginning. >> That's so fun. >> Like a true glimpse that either the paranormal exists or the subconscious
00:07:45
mind with just a tiny window of opportunity is capable of some crazy [ __ ] [ __ ] I think both of those
00:07:51
things can be true. 100%. I honestly don't know which is scarier, both. We began 20 plus years ago at the start of
00:07:58
my eighth grade year. It's September 2002, which means we're smack dab in the middle of such horrors as low-rise
00:08:04
jeans, everybody hates hating on Britney Spears, and diet culture run a muck. >> Facts.
00:08:09
>> Truly not a terrible time to be a young impressional girl at all. >> No. Every weekend meant a sleepover at
00:08:16
my friend Kelsey's house where we had a ton of privacy because her bedroom was in the basement, complete with her own
00:08:22
bathroom and a TV room. Damn, that [ __ ] had an apartment downstairs. This meant
00:08:25
we could drink Pepsi and sing Destiny's Child all night without anyone telling us to go easy on the caffeinated corn
00:08:31
syrup or to shut the [ __ ] up. So basically a 13-year-old's paradise. On this particular weekend, our friend Emma
00:08:38
was joining us. Now, no shade to Emma, but for context, it's important to know that she was not the sharpest crayon in
00:08:44
the box. She love your directness. She struggled to in most of our classes. And one time when our social studies teacher
00:08:53
asked if anyone knew what country Paris was the capital of, Emma confidently replied, "London,
00:09:01
it's giving." One time she asked me how to spell orange. >> London. >> London. >> Good for her. Good for her.
00:09:10
>> My f This is an amazing followup. So yeah, a sweet girl, but not exactly a mastermind
00:09:16
>> like us. Again, I'm not telling you this just to be a dick to poor Emma, but because it matters for understanding how
00:09:22
strange the following events were. I love that you're like, "Emma was a little dumb, so you should know that."
00:09:27
>> But it it matters. So, sleepover time. I don't honestly remember what we did the
00:09:31
night before. Probably lots of talking about boys and [ __ ] But the following morning, we for some reason decided to
00:09:38
play with Kelsey's new Ouija board. It's not for some reason. >> It's always a reason.
00:09:43
>> It's what you do at a sleep. the Ouija board around and you're a teenage gal,
00:09:47
>> you're you're doing the Ouija board. >> Unless you're me. >> That's the reason.
00:09:50
>> Unless you're me. >> That's That's Oh, normally that's the reason. >> Maybe tomorrow that would change.
00:10:00
>> Curious. >> Maybe tomorrow will be the first time >> maybe >> I decide to use a Ouija board.
00:10:05
>> Maybe. I don't know. >> I'm not sure. >> I don't know. Who's to say? >> Not me.
00:10:10
>> Now, maybe we were scared and that's why we waited. Oh, what was it? He won't leave. At first I thought he
00:10:16
said >> get that [ __ ] out of here. >> At first I thought he said you ugly. >> He's talking about Mikey's like he won't
00:10:21
leave. >> Well, I'm trying to trying to dink his ass out of here and he won't leave.
00:10:26
>> It also goes along with like he move out of my way. >> He won't move out of his way.
00:10:33
>> Mikey's being victimized. >> Mikey has a problem with me and he won't leave. >> Wow.
00:10:39
>> Move out of my way. >> Mikey and Nicholas are now beefing. So far, I've only I've been the only one
00:10:45
that has beef. >> What did he say? >> He literally said, >> he said her. >> Maybe he was talking about how he beefed
00:10:53
with me. >> Holy [ __ ] >> Maybe he was like, "Yeah, I beef with Mikey and I be with her."
00:10:57
>> Yeah, >> Nicholas, we're the only ones that have been cool. Please, please don't change
00:11:03
that. Uh, okay. Maybe we were scared and that's why we waited until broad daylight. Who knows? We were 13 and dumb
00:11:09
as [ __ ] This was the first time any of us had used the board. And I'm sure it was made and I'm sure it was made by
00:11:15
like Milton Bradley. But but to us, it seemed very serious and important, like we were about to communicate with the
00:11:21
dead. Yeah. So, we closed the curtains in Kelsey's basement bedroom, so there was just the teeniest bit of light
00:11:27
peeking through and started asking the board questions. It wasn't long before we were speaking with the spirit of, of
00:11:33
course, a teenage boy who had died in a card crash. Was this real or was this just our combined boy craziness
00:11:39
manifesting a male presence in the room? I honestly don't know. He said his name
00:11:43
was Justin. >> That's suspicious. >> That's sus. I've never met a ghost named Justin. Personally,
00:11:49
>> feels very in sync. >> Yeah. >> I feel like if I had talked to a ghost, it probably would have been named Justin
00:11:55
or Timber like JC. >> Um, and we asked him questions about his life and how he died. It was all rather
00:12:02
innocuous. I do recall that Kelsey asked him to choose two adjectives to describe
00:12:07
each of us using funny, cute, pretty, or sexy because we were, as the kids used to say, #thirsty. Oh my god. He
00:12:16
proceeded to hate. What did he say? >> Weak. >> He keeps saying weak. He keeps saying
00:12:24
weak. Are you feeling weak, Nicholas, or someone else in this room? >> Or do you think that kind of energy is
00:12:30
weak? >> That could be it. asking to describe you. >> He's like, he's like, "Set your own
00:12:35
standards." >> It's okay. Yeah. Good for you, Nicholas. I mean, you're not weak. Um,
00:12:40
Mary, >> Mary and Kelsey and and Emma even. >> Even Emma. >> Even Emma. >> He proceeded to tell us that Kelsey was
00:12:48
pretty and sexy. >> Oo, Kelsey. Here's the thing. Here's the thing about Kelsey.
00:12:54
>> She asked the question. >> She asked the question. >> She was moving that PL. She got pretty
00:13:00
and sexy. Emma was cute and pretty and my awkward ass got funny and cute. If you knew the haircut I had at the time,
00:13:08
this made sense. But it still stung that Ghost Boy didn't want to get all up in this.
00:13:14
I'm dead. Now, Kelsey knew how to hypnotize people. I'd seen her do it before at many a sleepover. She would
00:13:20
have a girl lay down on her back on the floor and rub her temples while she counted backwards from a hundred. Kelsey
00:13:25
was out here doing some [ __ ] [ __ ] It sounds super simple, but never failed to
00:13:30
actually work. So, she proceeded to ask Justin if we could speak if he could speak through one of us if she was
00:13:36
hypnotized. The planchette instantly moved to yes. Ghost Boy was ready to talk, and Emma volunteered to be the
00:13:43
vessel. Of course, she did. >> Oh, Emma. Here's where it gets really weird. Emma lay down and began counting
00:13:51
backwards while Kelsey rubbed her temples and I sat there a ball of adolescent self-consciousness over not
00:13:58
consciousness over not being called pretty or sexy by a dead guy. But I digress. Emma's voice got quieter and
00:14:04
lower the more she counted and somewhere in the 80s she abruptly stopped talking
00:14:08
mid-number. Emma? Kelsey asked. No response. Justin? She tried. Yes. Ooh. Emma, who normally spoke in a
00:14:16
high-pitched girly squeal, replied in a low monotone that sent shivers up my spine. "Do do you want to sit up?"
00:14:24
Kelsey asked. "Yes," Emma/jin replied. Her eyes were closed, and she proceeded to just keep laying there. "Do do you
00:14:32
need help?" Kelsey inquired. Emma's Justin's responses were slow, as if she were taking a while to process what was
00:14:38
being said to her. At last, they replied, "Yes, I don't remember how to move in a body." Oh wow.
00:14:46
>> I don't like that. >> That's chilling. I also feel like Emma wouldn't come up with that.
00:14:49
>> I think that's why she was telling us how empty of a vessel Emma was. >> Yeah. Until Oh, well. Yeah.
00:14:55
>> And you know, being 13 years old, Kelsey and I somehow took all of this in stride
00:15:00
and proceeded to help Emma into a sitting position. Her norm normal perky posture was now slumped with her eyes
00:15:06
still closed and head leaning forward as if it were heavy. These days, having consumed much more horror content, I
00:15:12
would have run out of this room. But at that time, I was like, "Yeah, let's just
00:15:16
sit here in the dark and talk to this dead guy." >> I love that >> you were very talk to me about this. You
00:15:21
were just like, "Let's go. >> Here we go." >> We proceeded to have a conversation with
00:15:25
Emma/Jin that followed up on the things we've been asking on the board, what his
00:15:29
life was like, how he died, which he claimed happened not far from where we were, etc. As we talked, Emma had a look
00:15:35
on her face, eyes still closed, that was a mix of sedated and uncomfortable. Noticing this, Kelsey at one point asked
00:15:42
if there was anything we could do to make them more at ease. I'm not used to having all this hair in my face, Ghost
00:15:48
Boy replied. >> So, Kelsey proceeded to pull Emma's long blonde hair into a low ponytail. But we
00:15:54
noticed that they still looked a little bit ill at ease. Is there anything else we can do for you? Kelsey asked. Well, I
00:16:00
think I think is Emma on her rag. That's the grossest way to say that. Why does anybody put it that way? Are you kidding
00:16:09
me right now? >> I wasn't prepared for that. >> I was not prepared for that either.
00:16:13
Also, that's none of your damn business, Justin. What the [ __ ] Ew, >> Justin. >> God damn.
00:16:21
>> God. Also, good that you're feeling it. Good that you're feeling it. >> Yeah, you should.
00:16:28
>> Good that you're feeling it. I hope you have crumps. >> Yeah, I hope you have crumps. Ghost Boy
00:16:33
asked if she was on her rag. Now, this was 2002. That's the other thing. >> 2002. I'm like, no one's saying on your
00:16:40
rag. >> No, >> that's like from '9s. Like that's like like um >> I think they say it in the craft like
00:16:48
Yeah, they do. Yeah. >> It's such a gross term. >> Says she's she needs her rag or
00:16:53
something. >> Um now, this was 2002 and none of us use the term on her rag. Also, we knew that
00:16:59
Emma was in fact on her period and would thus have been wearing a maxi pad. We were all too young and scared to use
00:17:05
tampons at the time. Justin/ Emma shifted slightly. I can feel this pad thing. It's like a diaper. You girls
00:17:12
wear these all the time. Yeah, they do suck. They do. Kelsey and I genuinely laughed. Haha, dead guy, you're so
00:17:19
funny. It was around this time that I realized my parents would be coming home coming to pick me up soon and our
00:17:24
three-way combo with Ghost Boy would need to come to an end. Justin said we he would go and that if we ever wanted
00:17:30
to talk again, we could reach him through the Ouija board. I honestly don't remember how we got Emma out of
00:17:35
her hypnosis, but I do remember seeing her eyes open and start blinking rapidly. The first thing she said was,
00:17:41
"Why is my hair in a pony?" We quizzed her over um over everything that was said, but she appeared to genuinely have
00:17:47
no recollection of anything that had happened. Whoa. >> Now, back to Emma not being the smartest
00:17:51
cookie. She was also a terrible liar. like face would get red, eyes would dart around, she would nervously giggle, all
00:17:58
the telltale signs. But here she was making eye contact, sincerely curious about everything that was said and
00:18:05
seeming to have no memory of it. That's wild. At this point, my parents arrived at in our good old Astro van, and I
00:18:12
excitedly told them all about how I just had a direct conversation with a dead guy. Their response was basically,
00:18:18
"Sure, Jan." I tried telling them it really happened and that Emma couldn't have been just yanking our chain because
00:18:23
she wasn't smart enough to fake it. I >> love that in your in your parents Astro
00:18:27
van. You're like, "Mom, Emma's so stupid. >> She's too dumb to fake it." And your
00:18:30
parents are like, "Oh shit." Yeah, >> I thought it was real then. >> [ __ ] that was real. And coming up with
00:18:34
little details like how as a boy he or she was bothered by having long hair and wearing a maxi pad. No way our sweet,
00:18:42
simple lumb could have come up with that on the fly. Anywh who, to this day I look back on that strange morning and
00:18:47
wonder what the hell actually happened. Had a Milton Bradley product and a sleepover hypnosis trick actually opened
00:18:53
a portal into the afterlife or had our subconscious powers forced the planchette to conceive of this Justin
00:18:59
character and all his responses? And what about Emma? Had she been a secret mastermind an amazing actress the whole
00:19:05
time who's capable of completely fooling us? Or was her subconscious somehow able
00:19:09
to play along as this dead guy even to the point of using dated terms like on her rag or was it actually a dead guy
00:19:16
talking to us about maxipads? >> He said where are we? He was like I don't know what the [ __ ] you're talking
00:19:24
about. >> Where the [ __ ] am I right now? >> What is this about? >> What was the second part?
00:19:29
>> By no means. >> By no means. He said by no means do I want to talk about this. Okay.
00:19:34
>> Okay, that's fair. I respect your boundary. >> Nicholas is a gentleman. >> Yes. He's like, "This is getting out of
00:19:38
my realm." Yeah, >> I guess I'll never know. Insert shrug emoji. If you've gotten to this point,
00:19:44
thank you for reading my long strange tale. If you read this on the pod, I will shove it in my mom's face and say,
00:19:49
"I told you so." And then I'll go to my dad's urn and do the same. Oh, said, "Shout out to my fellow # deadad
00:19:58
club members and the dark humor that keeps us going. If you know, you know." That's actually so valid. The other
00:20:03
night, Caleb was at my house and he was saying something about his dad. I said something about my dad and then we were
00:20:09
talking about moms and Drew just goes, "My dad's dead." >> I was like, "Oh, all right."
00:20:14
>> Like, damn. >> Like, just so casual. >> That is It's something about dead dads
00:20:18
specifically. >> Like if you talk, in fact, um our friend Walsh, Emily Walsh, she's a [ __ ]
00:20:24
amazing comedian. Go listen to her. >> Maybe you'll see her soon. >> One of her like big bits is like my
00:20:29
dad's dead. Like it's like dead dad girl. >> Yeah, dead is funny. She can make it
00:20:33
hilarious. >> Yeah. So, >> grief is funny. >> Grief can be funny. It's the only way.
00:20:37
Gallows humor is so necessary. >> It's It's just got to happen. We're human. >> Now, speaking of my parents, they ended
00:20:45
up sending me to Catholic school the year after this incident because I was acting cray cray and going from in
00:20:49
innocent slumber parties to drugfueled raers. Ah, youth. So, I kind of just fell out of touch with Kelsey and Emma.
00:20:57
Wherever you are, I hope this you they remember this morning and think of it fondly. Justin too, wherever he may be.
00:21:03
Okay, that's it. Thanks for reading and keeping on keeping it weird. Love you guys, Mary.
00:21:07
>> That's iconic. >> Mary on a cross is who that is. >> I love it. >> Oh my god, you're puppies and kitties
00:21:12
and you are adorable. >> I know. I just need to know how you get to this point. My god, I desperately
00:21:19
want this to be my life. My cats [ __ ] hate Dolores. >> I love it. I love Dolores.
00:21:24
>> I love Dolores, too. And I love my cats. And I wish everybody just loved each
00:21:27
other. >> Everybody love each other. I wish we could all just bake a cake filled with
00:21:31
happiness and rainbows. We could all eat and be happy. >> Be happy. >> All right. Mine is called My mom used my
00:21:38
toddler daughter to get the last word from her grave. >> Oh, that's annoying. I feel
00:21:45
>> to get the last word. I know it is. It is a little bit. >> All right. So, hey weirdos. I discovered
00:21:50
you two a few months back. Became instantly hooked and have been catching up in reverse order. I'm now listening
00:21:55
to your 2022 archives, and I want to encourage you to keep being weird and morbid in your quirky, compassionate
00:22:00
way, especially with my two faves, vintage cases and listener tales. >> Hell yeah.
00:22:05
>> How fitting. >> Those are some of my faves as well. [Music] >> Before I get into my own listener tale,
00:22:11
let's get some business out of the way. You have my permission to use real names
00:22:15
if you share this story. My name is B. Thomaselli and Oh. Oh, it's not done. B. Thomaselli Treatili. And I will happily
00:22:24
giggle if you butcher the pronunciation on your show. I hope I didn't. >> I love that name. If it's easier for
00:22:30
you, I'll just go by my alter ego. Xenon. I'll tell you about Xenon at the end of the story.
00:22:35
>> Xenon girl of the 21st century. >> Duh. Zoom zoom zoom. Makes your heart go boom boom boom.
00:22:43
>> Oh, is it two boom booms? >> No. Yeah, it's just boom boom. >> Oh, >> my supernova girl. I don't really
00:22:50
remember Xenom. I know. Anyway, >> Prozzoa was like the, you know, N sync before In sync.
00:22:57
>> He kind of looks like Spike, too. >> Yeah, he does. And he's British. >> There it is.
00:23:01
>> I'm into it. All right. >> Well, I teach high school in uh I teach high school science in my day job, and
00:23:07
I'm generally a logical woman. When I hear about paranormal phenomena, I first look for a scientific explanation.
00:23:13
>> Good for you. That said, I may be skeptical, but I'm also open-minded, and I've definitely experienced phenomena
00:23:18
that defy logic. One such instance occurred shortly one such instance occurred shortly after
00:23:25
we adopted our children in the late '9s, before our kid before our kids were a thing. My husband had a stereotypically
00:23:32
antagonistic relationship with his mother-in-law, my mom, of course, Nelly Thomaselli, who had a name like a little
00:23:38
poem. Nelly Thomaselli. >> Nelly Thomaselli. I love it. They are slash were both loving but stubborn
00:23:44
people. Mom and dad lived near us and we'd sometimes carpool to visit my sister Sylvia and her family a few
00:23:49
cities away from our Southern California home. One Sylvia visit, my mom asked us
00:23:54
to drive her newish four-door Camry. My husband Gerald loves to drive, mom didn't, and dad has vision problems.
00:24:00
Hubby and I were driving cars that were not family-friendly. Gerald drove a truck and I drove a twodoor that mom
00:24:05
found hard to get in and out of. The four of us loaded up into Camry and mom asked us to lock our doors. Dad and I
00:24:12
obeyed, but not Gerald. >> Not Gerald. >> Not Gerald. Never Gerald. >> Never Gerald. He refused for no apparent
00:24:18
reason other than to mess with his mother-in-law. >> Wow. >> They had an argument about locking the
00:24:22
car doors, but my husband remained stubborn and eventually just changed the subject. We all made it to my sister's
00:24:27
house safely, and I would have forgotten all about it, except flash forward a couple years to late 2001. My husband
00:24:34
and I were getting ready to adopt a child from Russia. An orphanage near Siberia had sent us pictures of toddlers
00:24:39
approved for foreign adoption, which was legal in Russia at the time, and we had
00:24:43
our hearts set on a todd a toddler girl who went by the nickname Luca. Oh. Anyways, we kept our adoption plans
00:24:49
vague with our families as nothing was in writing at that time. Thus, the adoption was uncertain. In early 2002,
00:24:56
mom was diagnosed with a very fastmoving cancer. Despite mom and my husband's differences, Gerald is an RN who was
00:25:02
there to offer advice, aid, and compassion when mom entered hospice. On her deathbed, I handed mom a photo of my
00:25:08
daughter, telling her this would likely be her future granddaughter. >> Mom clutched it tight and stared at the
00:25:14
pig intently for a few seconds before drifting into a deep sleep. >> Mom slept most of that day and took her
00:25:20
last breath just before midnight. Gerald and I didn't have much time to grieve. Shortly after mom's funeral, we were off
00:25:26
on a two-day plane trip to the remote, snowy region of Magadan, I think, in eastern Russia near Alaska.
00:25:33
>> To make a very long story short, we decided or we adopted two adorable Russian toddlers a few months later,
00:25:40
Lisanna and a sweet boy named Nikolai, both aged 2 and a half. >> Nikolai, >> I love it. We soon found that a twodoor
00:25:48
car was super cumbersome when it came to buckling squirly toddlers into back car
00:25:52
seats. Indeed. >> Dad was looking to sell mom's Camry and we eager eagerly bought her sedan. Oh,
00:25:58
so there you go. Perfect. Within a few days of the purchase, we were getting ready for our first family outing in
00:26:03
mom's old car. Our toddlers at that point were beginning to understand English, but could only say a handful of
00:26:08
words. You know, the usual first words, mama, papa, mine, no, toy, water, etc. Once bundled in, my husband started the
00:26:16
engine and began to back out of the driveway. Lanna immediately began rocking wildly in her car seat. She
00:26:22
seemed to be having a panic attack and began chanting, "Lock the doors. Lock the doors. Lock the doors."
00:26:28
>> Oh. >> And didn't stop until we obeyed. Again, I'm a level-headed, logical person. But
00:26:33
Leanna's chanting gave me chills. >> Yeah. >> I'm convinced mom got the last word with
00:26:38
her son-in-law from the grave. And hey, she should have because it's truly safer
00:26:41
to keep your doors locked when you're driving for a bunch of reasons I won't bore you with.
00:26:46
>> Over the years, our family has had an uh has had alleged visits from mom and other spirits. But I say alleged because
00:26:53
again, I'm a skeptic, but an open-minded skeptic. And let me tell you, weirdos, ain't nothing will convince me that mom
00:26:58
wasn't in the car with us that day. I know this may not be morbid enough for your delightfully gloomy podcast. But
00:27:04
regardless, I do have a PS regarding my Oh, that was weird. A candle just go out. No, it just like puffed up some
00:27:10
smoke. >> Damn. >> Yeah, >> this is a spell candle, by the way. We did a cord cutting ritual today.
00:27:15
>> Hell yeah. >> Interesting. Cuz one of them burned completely down. And the other's still
00:27:18
going. Something's holding on. >> I do have a PS regarding my xenon alter ego. More than once, I have heard you
00:27:24
weirdos complain about your past boring chemistry classes. I literally just was.
00:27:28
>> Oh, I love I loved chemistry. >> That was probably me. >> Yeah. >> I would like uh I would like to think if
00:27:33
you had me as your chem teacher learning stoimetry. Stokeemmetry. >> I I can't see it.
00:27:42
>> Stoic stoometry. >> Stoometry. Thank you. And balancing chem chemical equations would have been a
00:27:50
blast. I teach high school chemistry and biology in my day job. But evenings and
00:27:54
weekends, I'm an actress and writer for the plot- driven animated chemistry series Xenon and Friends.
00:28:00
>> Oh [ __ ] >> Which uses comedy, music, and real words world scenarios to help beginning
00:28:04
chemistry students visualize the invisible world of atoms and molecules. >> That's badass.
00:28:08
>> That's really cool. I wish I had had you. >> Yeah, I could have used that in organic
00:28:12
chemistry. >> I will say I did have a nice chemistry teacher in case she's watching.
00:28:15
>> Yeah. Nance, I love you. >> And Nance, >> here are a link uh here are links to a
00:28:19
couple of my favorite Xenon and Friends YouTube episodes in case you need a laugh or a reason to refresh your
00:28:24
chemistry skills. PPS, I'm flying to Boston this summer to attend my niece's Cape Cod wedding, but I'll be a tourist
00:28:30
for a few days ahead of time, for a few days ahead of time, and that will include my first ever trip to Salem.
00:28:36
>> Yes, if you have must see, must do recommendations for this Massachusetts tourist, please share. This was a long
00:28:44
time ago. So >> So I hope you had fun. >> Yeah. I hope you had so much fun. >> That's amazing.
00:28:50
>> That's so cool, Xenon. >> And what a badass that you're a chemistry teacher and an actress and a
00:28:54
writer. >> Damn. Like and a mama. >> And a mama >> just out here doing it all. >> Yeah. [ __ ] I love it.
00:28:59
>> And also I love that your mom got the last word and not only got the last word, but also got the last word and got
00:29:06
the son-in-law to lock >> to lock the doors like through the little bit. >> She was like, "You will lock the doors.
00:29:11
Listen to this little baby. >> I love it. >> I love that. >> I love that. >> I love it. This one's called Spook
00:29:17
Mcfucking Spook. I hope that ghosts like homemade cookies. I hope so, too. Um, it
00:29:22
says, "In your best Jack the Ripper police officer voice." Hello. Hello. Hello, you bloody beautiful birds. And
00:29:29
welcome to my tail. >> All right. I love it. >> Honestly, Mikey would have killed that.
00:29:35
Mikey, can you please do it? Yell. >> Hello. Hello. Hello. >> There it is. There you go. Welcome to my
00:29:40
tale. All right, I'll start off in the most British way possible by apologizing for apologizing. I imagine this won't be
00:29:47
a short read because like an onion, evil or not, this gal has got layers. Also, I'm currently severely sleepd deprived
00:29:55
because my dumb bum thought it would be a good idea to rescue two kittens into my already chaotic home. Yes, I've
00:30:00
attached pictures as bribery for airtime, so bear with. They were so cute. I've changed names in this story
00:30:05
in case they don't want their awesomeness known, but I will not be anonymous myself. Does that make me an
00:30:10
does that make me anonymous? I don't know. Hi, I'm Chloe. Hi, Chloe. >> Hi. I'm a beauty therapist from across
00:30:17
the pond. >> What is a beauty therapist? >> Near Stratford upon Avon, aka thy land
00:30:22
of Shakespeare. And if this is read out loud, then there's a rather high chance thou will soil thou's pantaloons.
00:30:30
A customer introduced me to your podcast a little while ago because if you're not
00:30:34
chatting spooky [ __ ] while having hair ripped out of your labia, then what are
00:30:37
you even doing with your life, bro? >> So, that's what a beauty therapist is. >> I don't know if I would call you a
00:30:43
therapist, my girl. >> I like that though. >> Have you ever had a wax? >> It's But it's It makes it sound nicer.
00:30:48
>> It does. >> That's the thing. >> But it's also kind of like >> misleading. >> Yeah, it is a little misleading because
00:30:54
ain't nothing therapeutic about that. >> Oh, but for some, >> for none, >> but not others. for, you know, none.
00:31:00
>> Uh, angels to some, demons to others. >> Yeah, I guess so. >> And I have been obsessed ever since. You
00:31:07
guys really are the creme de la creme of all things morbid. >> Thank you. >> Thank you for all the time you put into
00:31:14
researching cases and for caring as much as you do about victims and their families. It really shows in the way you
00:31:19
tell their stories. And it also helps that you both are funny as [ __ ] You deserve every ounce of joy, success, and
00:31:25
happiness that comes your way. >> Thank you. >> That was really nice. Oh, so kind.
00:31:29
>> You too. >> So, let's hop into our way back machines to the early naughties before the day of
00:31:34
phones, tickity talk, and social media. Hell, at this point, we didn't even have
00:31:39
MSN. I was young, free, and pretty [ __ ] stupid. And my friends weren't much better. We were still a few days
00:31:45
away from the early grooming days of of Habu. Habbo Hotel? What's that? I don't know. Habbo Hotel. What What was wrong
00:31:53
with us? It says. I want to know what that is. >> I'm googling it. So, our free time was
00:31:56
mostly spent >> Oh, it's like a video game. >> Oh, okay. Um, so our free time was
00:32:00
mostly spent hanging around skate parks, listening to bowling for soup. Hell yeah. And occasionally exploring cool
00:32:06
[ __ ] around the town we lived in. It was during the latter that me and my best
00:32:09
friend Mia discovered that she she was slightly more in tune with the other world than we'd realized.
00:32:15
>> Mia's family were strict Christians. The cool kind though, that thought wine ble
00:32:19
being the blood of Christ was the best excuse to drink a shitload of it. And who always forgave our teenage sins. Aw,
00:32:25
because of this, Mia hadn't had any exposure to the witchy ways of living. Me, on the other hand, I was blessed
00:32:31
with a father who was a proud Wiccan. >> That is awesome. >> I mean, that man really did the [ __ ]
00:32:37
I'm talking bringing me up with tarot cards, runest stones, crystals. Hell, on more than one occasion, I found spell
00:32:43
rituals set up in the loft. >> I'm trying to be that kind of mom someday. >> So, being bored teenagers, who couldn't
00:32:49
kill time watching People Versus Helicopters on Rotten.com? Seriously, what the [ __ ] was wrong with us? I ask
00:32:56
to this day. One day, we decided to pay a local a visit to the local Iron Age hill fort. The site dates back to the
00:33:03
second century and is essentially haunted as [ __ ] Fun. >> I'll attach some info if I can find any,
00:33:08
but some of the things it's known for being the site where around a thousand Danish pagan Vikings were massacred by
00:33:14
Saxons. That's a lot of Danish pagan Vikings. It is. And the site of one of the last documented human sacrifices in
00:33:20
Britain. >> Oh, just that. just known for that casual. >> Couple things. On reflection, the fact
00:33:25
that this place was literally a 10-minute walk from my house makes me remember how crazy England is.
00:33:30
>> That is crazy, and I'm jealous. >> Within only a few minutes of being there, Mia went super quiet. We looked
00:33:36
around for a bit, mostly disappointed by the fact that now just looked like a bogggy field with a few old cider cans
00:33:42
rusting away from end of school parties. All of a sudden, Mia screamed, dropped to the floor, covering her head, and
00:33:48
screamed, "We need to leave." Now, this [ __ ] is my best friend. If she tells me
00:33:53
we need to leave, I'mma head out. >> Correct. >> Correct. Leaving the rest of the guys
00:33:58
behind. We fully ran out of the fields back to her house. Once my butthole had returned to regular size, I felt it was
00:34:05
finally time to say, "Sis, what the actual [ __ ] You didn't see it?" she said, looking at me wideeyed. See what?
00:34:12
I asked. That massive [ __ ] black bull that ran at us with glowing red eyes. >> Oh, just that.
00:34:18
>> You didn't see it? >> That's crazy. Imagine if she was like, "Oh, that." >> Oh, yeah. I just figured we should keep
00:34:24
going. You know, >> you were talking about something else. I'm sorry. What now? I mean, no, I
00:34:28
definitely didn't. Otherwise, I'd be in your room helping myself to a fresh pair
00:34:32
of pants right now. We went straight to her computer room. Remember when that was a thing?
00:34:36
>> Yes. >> She said that and I >> We spent so much time in the computer room. >> I miss a room.
00:34:41
>> Remember when I showed you your shoes? >> Oh my god. >> Mhm. >> And text message breakup. You know, text
00:34:47
message break up. I miss the computer room. >> I know. >> When it would the end of the day, the
00:34:53
door would close and the computer was in it. >> Stay in a room. >> Get the [ __ ] away from me. That's what I
00:34:59
remember. >> Now it's just sitting on our lap all the time. >> It's not sitting on our lap. It's
00:35:03
sitting in our hand in our [ __ ] pants pocket, ruining everyone's lives. >> Let's throw them into the ocean and move
00:35:10
on. Just kidding. That would be like so pollution. >> So, we went straight to our computer
00:35:13
room. RIP. loaded up the family PC and patiently waited for her mom to get off the phone so we could use the internet
00:35:19
to look up whatever in literal fresh hell this meant. We couldn't find a definite answer, but the general
00:35:26
consensus was some sort of dark evil bad vibes nope energy existed there and had
00:35:31
decided to show itself to my best friend. What a lucky gal. At this point, Mia's brother and his friends came home
00:35:36
and upon hearing our story suggested we do one of those Ouija board things. Now,
00:35:41
I know this is the point where you girls are going to be saying, "Hell no, stay away from that." Not me. Not me. Maybe I
00:35:48
feel differently, but you need to understand something. This boy was the epitome. Yes, I had to Google how to
00:35:52
spell that. Of early 2000s hot, >> you know, before I read the next line, I said frosted tips.
00:35:59
>> Oh my god. I mean, that is the epitome of early 2000s hot. >> Early 2000s hot. I'm talking frosted
00:36:07
tips, beaded necklace, >> like the puka shell one. >> Yep. shorts and a skateboard kind of
00:36:12
hot. >> Yeah, that'll do it. >> I'd have laid my basic bear ass down on Lego for that guy. So, some simple demon
00:36:19
summoning to win his love didn't seem too much to ask. >> Dang. >> I get it, man. Well, I'd love to say
00:36:25
this was some sort of lifealtering moment. It was in fact a complete letdown. Nothing happened. Like,
00:36:30
nothing. Me and my girl sat there with our [ __ ] Crayola drawn Ouija board, fingers on the upturned glass for a
00:36:37
solid 10 minutes, and didn't even get as much as a silent ghost fart come our way. Thinking that it was a complete
00:36:43
bust, we headed upstairs, only to be accosted by her brother and his friends demanding to know how we did that. How
00:36:49
we did what? We asked. Turn our [ __ ] lights off and make the keyboard start playing.
00:36:54
>> Literal chills ran through my body. While I'd love to say I had the magic fingerpointing skills of Sabrina, or
00:37:00
more accurately, Matilda, despite my dad's best efforts, I was a pretty skillless witch. At that point, I set my
00:37:06
ringtone to play my on my phone, faked a phone call from my mom, and nope the [ __ ] out of there.
00:37:10
>> Iconic. >> Over the next few years, there was a few spooky occurrences, but nothing we
00:37:15
wouldn't chalk up to floorboard settling or dodgy worring. Why? Why? I almost said like what?
00:37:20
>> I mean, worring would have made sense. Uh there was one crazy night where during a sleepover, some dude literally
00:37:26
broke into our house in the middle of the night. >> Damn. >> I don't know if that's spooky or just
00:37:31
[ __ ] up. >> That's spooky and really [ __ ] up. I guess he wasn't counting on finding a
00:37:36
group of teenage girls in the living room, so he dropped his bag of stolen [ __ ] and ran.
00:37:40
>> Oh my god. >> This was when we discovered that the only thing he tried to steal was their
00:37:44
family photos. >> Uh what? I'm going to my head out. >> I don't like that. Family photos.
00:37:54
>> I hate that. >> That's so creepy. >> Who the [ __ ] was that, dude? I need to
00:37:59
know more about that. >> That's giving stalker. >> It says, "I mean, what the actual [ __ ]
00:38:03
The police tried to follow up but found nothing." And while this was honestly a terrifying experience, it definitely was
00:38:08
not the work of ghosts. Just some [ __ ] up [ __ ] >> [ __ ] up [ __ ] indeed. I want to
00:38:13
know more about that. >> I don't want to know anything about it. Now, flash forward to 2018. I'd recently
00:38:19
birthed my little crotch goblin and Mia had needed knee surgery, so I'd moved back in with her parents for a month
00:38:24
while she recovered. Being a good friend and desperately needing some distraction
00:38:28
from cleaning up various small person bodily fluids, I hear that. I decided to pop and pop in and seize her with some
00:38:35
goodies. I iced my homemade cookies. Get well soon, you old [ __ ] Loaded the pram
00:38:40
and headed over. >> I love that they call the baby carriage the pram. >> And I I thought you were going to say
00:38:44
what I was thinking. I love that you guys use the word [ __ ] so endearingly. >> Yeah,
00:38:48
>> cuz like we try to do that over here. >> Everybody gets so mad at us. >> Some people get so [ __ ] mad and it's
00:38:53
like just call people [ __ ] >> Yeah. It's the same as [ __ ] >> Just Yeah. And some people get mad at
00:38:57
[ __ ] too. It's like just >> Oh, if you're getting mad at [ __ ] get out of here.
00:39:00
>> Well, also just live your [ __ ] life. Tell people what you want to call them.
00:39:03
>> Live. Let me live. And we'll all just live. >> If I call you a [ __ ] it's cuz I love
00:39:06
you. If I call you a [ __ ] [ __ ] it's cuz I hate you. >> Yeah, you'll know. >> And if I call you like [ __ ] that's cuz
00:39:12
I love you. If I call you [ __ ] that's cuz I hate you. >> Sometimes you say it sarcastically
00:39:16
though, like [ __ ] >> [ __ ] But like you'll know. >> Yesterday at the Starbucks drive-thru, I
00:39:20
realized I called you a [ __ ] Like while this while the window was open, I literally went, "You're such a [ __ ]
00:39:25
bitch." >> I was such a [ __ ] [ __ ] >> But I was like, "Wow." Hopefully the Starbucks girl didn't think that was for
00:39:30
her. And I was like, "Hey." She comes over like, "You're such a [ __ ] bitch." >> Honestly, she probably loved it. I would
00:39:37
love it. >> Yeah. I'd be like, "Yeah, >> sisters being sisters. >> It is what it is." So, as I walked up
00:39:42
her drive, I spotted her in the bedroom window upstairs. She opened the curtain and waved down at me. I gave her the
00:39:47
finger and waited to open. >> Waited for her to open the door. >> I love England.
00:39:51
>> 5 minutes went by and there I was still standing on her doorstep like a [ __ ]
00:39:55
So, I called her. Look, I know you're messed up, but it's cold out here. Let me in. I said, "Sorry, I didn't hear the
00:40:01
doorbell. I'll come now." She hung up and opened the door. I didn't ring the doorbell, I said when she opened the
00:40:06
door. You saw me out your bedroom window. She looked blankly at me. Chloe, I've just had knee surgery. How the [ __ ]
00:40:12
do you think I'd be able to get up or downstairs? Fair point. She got me there. Okay, well, at least I thought
00:40:18
your mom would have yelled down to let you know. Chloe, there's no one else here. I'm in the house alone. Mom and
00:40:23
dad are at work. I looked up at her, waiting for her to laugh, but she didn't. She just stared confused. At
00:40:29
that moment, her mom pulled up into the drive, confirming that Mia wasn't [ __ ] with me. She really had been
00:40:35
home alone downstairs watching TV. That's horrific. Sensing the vibes were more than off, her mom suggested we load
00:40:42
into her car and go for coffee. We were about a month away from getting my daughter christened and I certainly
00:40:47
wasn't going to let some demon ass curtain twitching Karen steal her soul no matter how much I wanted to catch up
00:40:52
with my bestie. So, we agreed. >> I love that you're like, I can't be bring my baby in there. She's not
00:40:56
>> Chris and we can't have that type of thing. >> In the car and obviously confused by the
00:41:01
fact her daughter and friend had seemingly turned into quivering extras from Scooby-Doo, Mia's mom asked what
00:41:06
was going on. We told her what happened, expecting her to laugh at us for being wimps, as she had done so many times in
00:41:12
the past. But instead, she said it was probably time to tell us the truth. >> No.
00:41:19
>> What? >> You don't want to hear that. >> Imagine she Well, I guess I should tell
00:41:22
you the truth. >> You don't want to hear that. The story went like this. They'd moved into the
00:41:26
house just before Mia's big brother had been born. As a baby, they would often hear him crying through the nursery baby
00:41:32
monitor, only to check on him and remember he was in fact in the crib downstairs.
00:41:38
>> Oh no. >> They'd hear footsteps in the room at night, sometimes with soft singing. And
00:41:42
one night, they woke up to find the entire contents of the room on the floor. >> Nope.
00:41:46
>> Being new parents, money was tight and they couldn't afford to just move. They
00:41:50
never felt threatened by the presence and so decided to live alongside it, asking only that it never harmed them.
00:41:56
After Mia was born, the room became hers. Apparently, she was often heard talking to people that weren't there and
00:42:02
would ask about the lady that sang her to sleep. >> What? I got chill. I got ew.
00:42:09
>> She was never scared, though. And her parents were just glad of a good night's
00:42:12
sleep. Honestly, hell yeah. >> As long as she wasn't scared. Yeah. >> Like my youngest wasn't scared of
00:42:17
Skeleton. So, we were like, "All right, hang out. >> Hang out, I guess." >> I guess. So, it was only at a street
00:42:23
party years later that her mom would meet a previous owner of the house, once a widowerower, but never now remarried.
00:42:29
And she'd find out that this sad story that could explain what had been happening for all those years. Also
00:42:34
newly married and with a baby, him and his wife had moved into the home in the 70s. He'd worked for a local car
00:42:40
manufacturer and would work a lot of nights, leaving his wife and child at home home at dinnertime and returning to
00:42:47
to smiles and breakfast in the morning. One morning though, he came home to no breakfast, just the sound of the baby
00:42:53
crying upstairs. >> Oh, that's horrifying. >> He ran up to the nursery and found found
00:42:57
a heartbreaking scene. While no exact cause was rep was found, the report showed that during a midnight feed, his
00:43:04
wife had suffered a medical episode and died. >> Luckily, the baby was unharmed, still
00:43:10
lying in his mother's arms. >> Oh my god, I have chills. The man was too heartbroken to stay in the house and
00:43:16
moved out soon after, leading to a string of very short occupancy from various residents until Mia's family.
00:43:22
That was >> It turns out we hadn't been imagining things growing up. Mia's mom had wanted
00:43:28
hadn't wanted to traumatize a couple of teenage girls with what might just be one of the saddest stories I've ever
00:43:34
heard. Now, my best friend likes to tell people how she was raised by her adopted
00:43:38
ghost mom, although she doesn't stay at her parents house anymore. So, there's my story. I'd apologize for it being
00:43:43
long and rambling, but I know you ladies will tell me to shut up. Keep it weird,
00:43:47
you guys. Take it away, Ash. But not so weird that you think that you're going to just do a Ouija board one day after a
00:43:52
break-in and figure out what the [ __ ] is going on, but then you you you find the
00:43:56
saddest story ever. >> The saddest story ever. >> Oh, no. >> But I love that her like she's singing
00:44:03
these kids to sleep and like trying to comfort them. >> I know. >> Like damn, I love that.
00:44:09
>> Mama through and through. >> Mama. >> Oh, that like breaks my heart though. And Mia clearly has been like seeing her
00:44:15
>> Yeah. >> through her whole life and then saw that thing on the uh at the fort.
00:44:19
>> Yeah. >> And like she's like clearly more in touch. >> She absolutely is. Like you said,
00:44:24
>> that's crazy. >> That was unbelievable. And also, if this is your daughter >> Oh, wait.
00:44:29
>> Cutest little thing I've ever seen in my life. >> Oh my god. >> And if it isn't your daughter, still
00:44:34
cutest little thing I've ever seen in my life. >> Also, fantastic shirt. >> Bluey.
00:44:37
>> We love Bluey. >> Love it. >> So cute. And the cats are so cute. So adorable.
00:44:43
All right, our next one is Listener Tale. I don't know why I said listener. >> Listener Tale.
00:44:48
>> Listener Tale. Paranormal Plantivity. Grandpa's uh Grandpa's Ghost and the Haunted House Plant.
00:44:53
>> I love that. >> I thought you were going somewhere. >> No, I'm just leaving. Bye. See you
00:44:57
later. I'll finish this out. >> Yeah. >> All right, ladies. First and foremost, thank you for reading my story. Feel
00:45:02
free to use any names or photos from it. That My name is Adam and I'm living my best life in Springfield, Illinois with
00:45:08
my two cats, Alfie and Glattis. I love I'll be turning the big 40 in October of this year and I have fully embraced my
00:45:16
spinster cat lady cat lady man lifestyle. I'm a Libra and I knew Ash would want to know that Libras are
00:45:24
great. Mikey is also a Libra. >> Yes. >> Yes. My grandpa is haunting my house plant and we'll get there. But first,
00:45:30
let me start my dress. >> Perfect way to start. But first, let me start off by saying that I think you
00:45:35
both are the tits. I'm basically obsessed with your podcast and feel like we're besties already. Already?
00:45:40
>> We are. >> We are. I started listening about a year ago and quickly abandoned all other
00:45:44
podcasts. All your tales of New England actually inspired me to book a bucket trip list to Salem.
00:45:49
>> Hell yeah. >> A bucket list trip. I mean, >> we're just bringing people to Salem.
00:45:52
>> We love it. >> I'm sure Salem's like, "Damn it." >> Salem's like, "Jesus Christ, Ash and
00:45:56
Elena." I convinced my gal pal Ashley to join me on a New England tour in October
00:46:00
of 2024. It didn't take much to twist her arm. All it took was dinner at our favorite dive Chinese restaurant and a
00:46:06
conversation about witches. She was sold. >> We uh studied up on Salem by listening
00:46:10
to your Salem themed episodes. Love that. By the time we arrived for our walking tour, we considered ourselves
00:46:16
total experts on all things Salem. In fact, the tour guide asked us on a scale of 1 to 10 how much we knew about Salem,
00:46:22
and we confidently answered nine. Hell yeah. The guide was skeptical, but ended up being impressed with our knowledge. I
00:46:28
mentioned your show to her, and she's also a fan. She even said she'd seen you in Salem before. I bet it's Sarah from
00:46:33
the Salem podcast. >> It probably is who we literally just saw last time we were in Salem.
00:46:37
>> Sarah. >> Hi. >> We saw several other cool New Englandy sites and ate all the seafood. 10 out of
00:46:43
10. Recommend. >> Speaking of seafood, Elena tried this much of an oyster the other day and she
00:46:48
spit it all the way out. And I'd love to post the video if you let me. >> I'm going to post it.
00:46:53
>> You're like, if you'd let me, I'm going to post it. >> Well, you nodded yes. >> Anyway, I know she wouldn't try lobster,
00:46:59
but she said in the future she will. >> In the future, I will. I think you'll have a better time with lobster.
00:47:03
>> Oyster is a no-go for me. >> Oysters are so good. >> One, I'm scared of vibrio. And two, they
00:47:09
taste and feel like snot. >> They don't. >> Boos. >> You're no >> boogies. >> Anyway, on to my spooky story. Growing
00:47:16
up, I spent a lot of time hanging out with my grandparents, Dawn and Diane. Dawn and Diane.
00:47:22
>> Don and Diane for life. >> Why don't I just stop there? >> I love Don and Diane.
00:47:26
>> What can I say? Kicking it with the olds is just a great time. >> It is. It really is. I affectionately
00:47:31
refer to my grandma as granny. I always have and I always will. Granny is not your typical grandma. She's
00:47:36
free-spirited, cusses like a sailor, and gives zero [ __ ] >> I want to be that grandma. Fun fact, she
00:47:42
used to read me children's stories at bedtime, but would insert curse words, frequently referring to Goldilocks as a
00:47:48
little [ __ ] She's [Laughter] a great time if you aren't one to embarrass easily.
00:47:57
>> She is a great time. I love that she called Goldilocks a little [ __ ] >> A little [ __ ] My grandpa was more
00:48:02
reserved, which worked out well since somebody had to put up with Granny shenanigans.
00:48:06
>> Yeah, they balanced each other out. >> Yeah. He grew up on a farm and worked in
00:48:09
a factory. He was never without his flannel, cowboy boots, and full grandpa mustache.
00:48:14
>> A very bluecollar country type grandpa. He taught me everything he knew and loved me with all his heart. He could be
00:48:20
grumpy at times. Grandpa's after me. >> Grandpa [ __ ] you know, >> but he had a great sense of humor. He
00:48:25
was my guy and we were always very close. Oh, >> one of my favorite early childhood
00:48:29
memories was going antiquing with granny. We had several local shops that we would visit regularly. I enjoyed
00:48:35
browsing but hardly ever found any anything that stood out until one day when visiting one of our favorite shops.
00:48:40
I found this old timey ceramic figure of an old man playing a cello. Honestly, it
00:48:45
was creepy as [ __ ] but I was into it. I was a strange child. It's fine. I turned
00:48:49
out okay. I love how you write. Anyway, the old man stood about 10 in tall. He was
00:48:55
wearing a red jacket, seated on a bench, holding a cello in his right hand, and a
00:48:59
detachable bow in his left. >> The old man had seen better days. His paint had clearly faded, and the cello
00:49:05
was missing a big old chunk. If you turned him over, there was a spot for batteries, a volume knob, and on andoff
00:49:10
switch. There were openings around his head and hands, almost like he was a bobblehead doll. Clearly, he was
00:49:16
supposed to move like one of those animatronic Santaas and play music. I expected the tune to be something super
00:49:21
creepy and couldn't wait to try it out. However, the shop owner told me and said
00:49:26
she Oh, sorry. However, the shop owner stopped Hello. >> Hello. >> However, the shop owner stopped me and
00:49:34
said she had tried everything and it just simply didn't work. It wouldn't play music.
00:49:39
>> Okay. >> Even so, there was something about the old man that intrigued me, and I just
00:49:43
knew I had to have him. >> I got to have him. >> I knew grandpa would love him, too. The
00:49:46
old man reminded me of Grandpa, only in looks. Grandpa had no musical gifts. I asked Granny to buy him and she
00:49:53
responded swiftly. We don't need that broken up old bastard. I was disappointed, but we said our goodbyes
00:49:58
to the shop owner and we left. Once we got to Granny's minivan, I asked again if we could get the old man. After some
00:50:03
light pouting, she After some light pouting, she begrudgingly asked to go. She begrudgingly agreed to go back for him.
00:50:11
Sorry. Granny headed back inside, haggled with the shop owner, and came back out with the old man.
00:50:15
>> That's a granny right there. >> That is a granny. We went back to the house. I showed the old man to grandpa.
00:50:20
He loved him just as I had anticipated. We spent the whole day trying to repair the old man and get the music to play.
00:50:27
Grandpa was usually very handy and could fix anything, but not this time. We eventually gave up and moved on. The old
00:50:33
man stayed in my grandparents square bedroom/off spare bedroom/off sitting >> square bedroom.
00:50:38
>> I know. I don't know what's wrong with me. Sitting on a shelf above their 70s
00:50:42
style faux fireplace where the bricks were made of styrofoam. When visiting over the years, I would occasionally
00:50:48
look in on the old man and continue to be pissed that he never worked. Fast forward to 2006 when I was 21 and had
00:50:54
moved my small home from my and had moved from my small hometown to the big city of Springfield. When I say big
00:51:01
city, I mean a population of 100,000. >> Damn, that's a lot. But much bigger than
00:51:06
I was used to. Around that time, my grandma suddenly my grandpa suddenly became sick and was quickly uh placed on
00:51:13
life support. We soon had to make the difficult decision to end life support. And grandpa passed away.
00:51:18
>> Oh, Grandpa. >> I'm sorry. Granny and I were with him, holding his hand as he left this world.
00:51:23
That was the first time I had ever lost someone close to me. I didn't get to say
00:51:27
goodbye. At least not when he was conscious. But they people passing do hear you. Even if they're not conscious,
00:51:33
they I fully believe they hear you. A short time later, I was helping Granny go through Grandpa's things. As I was
00:51:39
alone reminiscing in the bedroom office, I spotted the old man. I hadn't thought
00:51:43
of him in years. He looked exactly how I remembered him from childhood, only covered in layers of dust. That was when
00:51:49
[ __ ] got weird. The old man came fully alive. His head began to turn. His hand
00:51:55
began to move the bow across the cello. And the most haunting tune you've ever heard began to play at full volume. The
00:52:02
lights in the room began to cast a beam directly onto a photo frame of me and my
00:52:06
grandpa from when I was about 3 or 4 years old. This continued for what seemed like forever, but was probably
00:52:12
only 30 seconds. I immediately started to cry. I don't cry because I have a black soul. But what was I supposed to
00:52:18
do in that moment? >> What was I supposed to do? >> What was I supposed to What was I meant
00:52:22
to do? >> What was I meant to do >> in that moment? I remember wondering why I wasn't scared. I wasn't. I felt oddly
00:52:29
peaceful. A warmth rushed over my body like Grandpa was giving me a big hug. I felt comforted. I told Grandpa that I
00:52:35
loved him and that I would always miss him. It was so surreal, like a dream, but it wasn't. I figured Granny had
00:52:41
heard the creepy tune or my blubbering and would rush into the room, but she didn't. I began calling for her, and by
00:52:47
the time she came, the old man had returned to his dormant, busted up self. Granny, being the open-minded chick she
00:52:53
is, didn't doubt my story for a minute. For the sake of my own sanity, I picked up the old man, turned him over, and
00:52:59
there were no batteries, and the switch was set to off. Before I left that day, Granny insisted that I take the old
00:53:04
bastard home with me. I was in no condition to pick a battle with Granny, so I obeyed.
00:53:09
>> No, you got to take that old bastard. >> You got to, Granny says. >> Yeah. >> This was the one and only time the old
00:53:14
man came to life, but I've kept him with me ever since. He proudly sits on my bedroom shelf today, motionless, but
00:53:19
filled with special memories. But wait, there's more. Grandpa has since moved on
00:53:24
to haunting house plants. Not knowing anything about plants, I snatched a peace lily from Grandpa's funeral back
00:53:30
in 2006. Risky move, but it turns out I have a green thumb. >> Bold. >> I know. I love that you stole it from
00:53:37
his funeral. >> And I just love risky moves. >> Risky risky moves. >> But turns out it's great.
00:53:42
>> I've now kept this thing alive for almost 20 years. >> Holy [ __ ] >> Wow. I've since acquired about a million
00:53:48
more house plants. But I digress. >> Good for you. >> I am fully convinced that the plant is
00:53:52
haunted by my grandpa. It is. >> The plants bloom. Uh the plant blooms randomly, sprouting white flowers that
00:53:58
look like balloons. Sometimes it will go years without blooms, then bloom. Grandpa has something to say. It could
00:54:04
be wishful thinking or a weird coincidence, but it only blooms when I need grandpa.
00:54:09
>> He throws up balloons to show he's around or to provide comfort. I now call I now call the plant grandpa like a
00:54:16
full-on weirdo. I think that's beautiful. >> I was waiting this entire time to hear
00:54:20
that he refers to the plant as grandma. >> You just knew it was coming. I just knew
00:54:23
it. I get it >> cuz that's only right. >> It's grandpa. >> It's only right. >> There have been several examples over
00:54:28
the years. In 2010, my brother had a kidney transplant and my dad was the donor. This was obviously a very scary
00:54:34
time for my brother, dad, and our entire family. Out of nowhere, Grandpa's plant
00:54:39
sprouted a balloon the day before the surgery. Everything turned out fine. The surgery was a success. Grandpa was
00:54:44
letting us know that everything would be okay. >> Grandpa. >> Grandpa. Several years ago, my mom, his
00:54:50
daughter, reconnected with her high school sweetheart and they got married. >> Oh my god.
00:54:54
>> I wished more than anything that Grandpa could be there on this special day. What
00:54:57
do you know? Grandpa's plant sprouted a balloon the day before the wedding. >> He was there. In 2023, my two
00:55:03
16-year-old cats, Samson and Annabelle, whom I had since the day they were babies, passed within three weeks of
00:55:09
each other. >> Grandpa was there to comfort me. Grandpa's plant sprouted several
00:55:13
balloons this time. >> Oh my god. I've been experiencing some health problems over the past few
00:55:18
months. I blame it on being almost 40. Don't worry, it's nothing too serious, but it's caused loads of stress, and
00:55:23
I've been anxious as I navigate various testing. Just a few days ago, Grandpa sprouted a balloon to let me know that
00:55:29
everything will turn out okay. As long as that plants hold plant As long as that plant holds up, I know Grandpa will
00:55:35
be around. And in case you were wondering, Granny is still here, causing a scene anywhere she goes.
00:55:40
>> Oh, hell yeah. >> We lovingly threaten to check We lovingly threatened to check her into
00:55:45
Shady Pines any chance we get. I couldn't possibly wrap this up up without a Golden Girls reference. You're
00:55:51
welcome. >> Thanks for listening. I've included some pictorials for your viewing pleasure.
00:55:57
>> The shady pun. Keep it weird, but not so weird that your granny calls Goldilocks
00:56:00
a [ __ ] and your grandpa haunts an animatronic old man figurine and then a house plant. Or maybe do keep it that
00:56:06
weird because who wouldn't want a fiesta granny and a guardian angel grandpa house plant.
00:56:09
>> A fiesta granny. >> Oh my god, you're adorable. Look at your look at your Salem pics.
00:56:14
>> I need to see this. >> Oh, I love you guys. Um All right, so I guess we can probably do one more.
00:56:20
>> Yeah, I would do the last one. >> Maybe one more. Yeah. All right. So, this one's called Listener Tales, My
00:56:25
Sority Versus a [ __ ] Biscuit, Ted Bundy Wannabe. All right. Oh my god. Uh, all
00:56:31
right. So, let's open this up. So, this says, "Hello, my my lovely spooky friends. I've been enjoying your podcast
00:56:37
for years, but recently my daughter Sawyer has become a fan as well. I love that name.
00:56:41
>> That's such a cute name." >> Listener tales are her absolute favorite since the regular episodes run too dark
00:56:46
for her age, and she enjoys the lighter side you bring to true crime. All right.
00:56:49
I know some listener tales can also be on the mature side, but she's old enough to know which words are okay at to say
00:56:55
at home and not at school. That mom may hit fast forward when asking Elena to say trigger warning. And more
00:57:01
importantly to be aware that while most people are good, some can be very, very bad.
00:57:05
>> You sound like a fantastic mama. >> You're a great mama. Your stories provide a reminder to always be aware of
00:57:10
our surroundings, trust our instincts, and that it's okay to share our experiences, both good and bad.
00:57:16
>> Hell yeah. Now, when Sawyer gets in the car, instead of, "Can I play Taylor or
00:57:19
Sabrina?" It's, "Mom, morbid, we love your senses of humor and the quick listener tale anecdotes that can start
00:57:25
and wrap up in one 20-minute car ride." Sawyer told me she wishes she had her own listener tales to submit, but thank
00:57:32
God, she's had a happy and uneventful childhood so far with no stories worthy of a podcast called Morbid.
00:57:38
>> Let's keep it that way. >> So, instead, she begged me to share my own creepy scary story, C Pifa. While
00:57:45
using our names Christy and Sawyer is perfectly fine, I believe my college and sorority would prefer to remain
00:57:50
anonymous. I've attached a few photos of us. One at our last concert and one at a
00:57:55
trunk or treat last spooky season. You guys are awesome and I love you. You are Oh my god, you're adorable.
00:58:01
>> Also, you have great hair. >> Holy [ __ ] you guys are gorgeous. All right, so in the fall of 2000, I was a
00:58:07
sophomore at a large university and a member of a sorority with a house near campus. A few weeks before the new
00:58:13
school year began, everyone was settling back into the house after a summer away
00:58:16
and welcoming a new class of freshmen moving in for the first time. There were about 50 of us that lived in the house
00:58:22
together. I was chatting with friends in the living room after dinner when all of
00:58:26
a sudden a dozen or so panicked girls flooded down the staircase and one screamed, "There's an attacker in the
00:58:32
house." A friend and I ran into the nearby phone closet because even though we had cell phones then the house was
00:58:38
still had the house still had a landline tucked away in a small room. Early 2000
00:58:42
things I guess. We locked the door and did the best to barricade we what we could with the only piece of furniture
00:58:48
in the space a small wooden chair. >> Oh no. >> I called 911 and quietly relayed the
00:58:54
limited information we had hoping my voice didn't carry outside the door. I remember the look of panic on my
00:59:00
friend's face and realized my own must have mirrored hers. A tiny room with one exit may have not been the best place to
00:59:08
hold up, but it's where we fled for better or worse. I didn't always have my phone on me back then and wanted to hide
00:59:13
and call for help. After the police arrived, we were able to get the full story. We find out a man had been hiding
00:59:19
on the third floor of the house. >> Oh, it's like um Black Christmas. I hate that. They believe he was watching us a
00:59:26
watching as a girl. Let's call her Liz walked from her room to the shared bathroom in the middle of the house
00:59:32
wrapped in a towel with her shower basket in hand. He waited in Liz's room for her to return, at which point he
00:59:39
attacked her, striking her in the face and breaking her [ __ ] jaw. Oh my god, the level of violence it takes to do
00:59:47
that. That's horrific. He was wearing panty hoes over his arms and legs and a fencing mask straight out of a bad
00:59:55
horror movie over his face. It really was out of a horror movie. Urban Legends Final Cut was in theaters at the time
01:00:03
with a fencing maskfaced killer that most likely gave him the idea. >> Oh, and that's the worst of the urban
01:00:08
legends. What a loser. >> Yeah, like [ __ ] that [ __ ] Fortunately, a couple of badass girls in the adjacent
01:00:14
room heard the assault and immediately ran inside. One of them jumped on the attacker's back and he then fled the
01:00:21
room and ran out the back steps to leave the house. >> What a badass. >> Yes. All three of these girls were
01:00:27
freshmen around 18 years and old and living away from home for the very first time. As I mentioned earlier, school had
01:00:35
not even started yet, and they had all just moved into the house that week. >> Wow.
01:00:38
>> The man didn't seem to have a weapon at the time, but police later found t-shirts identified as belonging to
01:00:43
girls in the house in the back stairwell that must have been methodically ripped
01:00:48
into strips by a knife or scissors. >> Ew. He must have had plenty of time alone in the house without anyone
01:00:55
noticing. >> That is so scary. >> That would [ __ ] me up. >> How would you ever like feel safe again?
01:01:00
>> Truly. Liz was taken to the hospital and then went home to her parents to recover. She eventually came back to
01:01:06
school later in the semester and did amazingly well despite what happened. >> Wow.
01:01:10
>> Some girls offered to move her belongings into a new room in the house so she wouldn't have to return to the
01:01:15
same space, but she said it was okay and that she was fine. >> Wow. Good for her.
01:01:19
>> That's a brave lady. There were no leads until about a month later when a 23-year-old man was stopped for
01:01:25
suspicion of driving on a suspended license near campus. Police found reason to search his car and discovered duct
01:01:31
tape, handcuffs, leg shackles, panty hose, and a loaded pistol with the serial numbers filed off in his truck.
01:01:40
Like, holy [ __ ] The news article I will link below noted, "According to the police department, the suspect lived in
01:01:47
an apartment about five five blocks from the sorority house where investigators found Ted Bundy memorabilia scattered
01:01:54
around his room." >> E. He had told his roommate that he was a law student like Ted Bundy at the
01:02:01
university, but no records were found of his ever being enrolled. According to police, at the time at the age of 18,
01:02:07
the suspect was tried and committed of charges that accused him of slashing the throat, wrist, and forearm of a woman.
01:02:14
And he was acquitted. What? Along with the Bundy memorabilia, a different news article stated he told
01:02:21
people in his building that his name was Ted, even though it was not. >> What the [ __ ]
01:02:27
Ew. As his truck was being searched by police, he was able to escape the back of the police car and flee while still
01:02:35
wearing handcuffs. >> Shut the like. And he was also like Ted Bundying by like escaping custody.
01:02:41
>> Yeah. >> He was found and arrested the next day at the airport attempting to fly to
01:02:45
Houston. >> Holy [ __ ] >> Police believed this convicted felon was responsible for the attack on Liz, but
01:02:50
there was not sufficient evidence to link him to the crime. >> Wow. >> His name was never released and no
01:02:55
charges were filed. Who knows how long they were able to keep him for escaping the police and a firearm violation, but
01:03:01
certainly not long enough. >> No way. >> I hate to think of the atrocities this garbage human committed from them on
01:03:06
then on. Listening to Morbid has taught us this wasn't the first or last time he
01:03:10
was a coward. He would cowardly attack innocent women. Keep it weird, ladies, but not so weird you and your friends
01:03:16
have to fight off a Ted Bundy impersonator with a murder kit stashed in his truck that may not be, but really
01:03:21
should be put in jail for the rest of his pathetic life. Honestly, I'm horrified by that.
01:03:28
>> That is so scary. >> Like truly horrified. >> And even just the way he like broke into
01:03:32
a college like sorority. >> What the [ __ ] Just so many. >> He's literally doing the exact same
01:03:38
thing. He was trying to like relive and like copycat his total crime. >> E, what a [ __ ] creeper.
01:03:43
>> What a [ __ ] loser. That's disgusting. >> That's so scary. >> Oh, your poor friend getting her jaw
01:03:48
broken. >> I know. >> Like, holy [ __ ] >> [ __ ] that. >> Damn. >> Wow. Those were some crazy listener
01:03:54
tales, you guys. 2000 goes hard. >> It does. >> Dang. >> Yeah. >> Well, um, thank you so much for
01:04:02
listening. We hope you keep listening >> and we hope you >> keep it. We But not to worry that when
01:04:09
you try to film listener tales, the lawn mower people and the lawn mower people come and they ruin your whole [ __ ]
01:04:12
listener tail. But don't worry, we prevailed. It's fine and you prevailed. And you should send your listener tales
01:04:17
in to morbid [email protected]. Bye. [Music]