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hey weirdos I'm Elena I'm Ash and this is orbit [Music] well it's listener tail I [ __ ] love
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listener tales and for some reason I feel like we haven't done a listener Tale in so long thank you when we said
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it was listener tale week I was like wait a second it's been four and a half years though truly since the last one I
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don't even it was with John Lee Brody yeah and I think the one before that was with Bailey Syrian yeah because we had
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guests on them for a little bit it like felt different like not in a bad way but
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it felt like we didn't do them forever yeah it did feel that way very strange very but here we are here we are back in
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Action just ash and Elaine just National Lane doing some listeners I don't think I've ever called you alone
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in my life no one has because Elaine is an entirely different name and it's just
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taking away the uh yeah like you might as well just say anything I just I usually call you lingy yeah you do
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that's true yeah yeah but you can't say that but we you can't do it listener no but uh Deb Deb put together a good group
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and a little listener Tales here Jasmine she always pour one out for Deborah Deborah always pour one out for dub dub
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Deborah Deborah and I think you're gonna start right no no well [ __ ] we're just
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gonna sit here and silence yeah that we we agreed before that I I would start we
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did we had a discussion want to start with the best so of course here I am versus the worst second is the best just
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saying Mikey is the one with the hair every chest so immersed in working he's like what he
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had his headphones on he's like excuse me I'm I'm the worst Elena's the best and you're the one with the hairy chest
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yeah you're crazy all right well the first listener tale is called listener tale
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mediocre medium the true tale of a second-rate psychic and the uncle who haunted her for years before eating
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himself into Generation Z by sheer will and determination wow I would say one more time for the people
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in the back but uh it's a hard no for me that's a great title fan [ __ ] time I love that let me zoom into this because
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now that I'm 27 I am geriatric oh my God what does that mean hey weirdos I'll shirt and I'm sure I'm already off to a
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good start I'll shorten this diet tribe with the assurance that I have written before so I know you are already aware
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of how much I worship at the feet of my podcast princesses every underfilled moment of my life damn but for the sake
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of the people involved in this tale I would ask that you omit my real name and refer instead to my Alter Ego who rarely
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makes appearances unless she's drunk so welcome to the inner sanctum affectionately known as Esmerelda
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toffelmer Esmerelda tafel mayor obviously hell yeah distant cousin of the illustrious illustrious thank you
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illustrious Anastasia beaverhausen beaverhausen insert Will and Grace reference here
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did you watch Will and Grace I did I wasn't like a I didn't stay forever but I I like Will and Grace I never watched
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it it was a great show yeah I should try um and the North Woods New Jersey witch
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with too many kids and too few [ __ ] left to give hell yeah hell yeah while my home altar may be dedicated to
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salacia goddess of seawater that's beautiful I'm obsessed with you I am too you have Good Vibes rest assured that my
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brain altar is completely dedicated to you morbidly mystical mavens I had to swallow a burp and your
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supernatural abilities to keep my life on track I'm glad we're keeping your life on channel the spine is awry as you
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can tell with me swallowing a burp in the middle of my job anyways as a purposefully yes yeah purposeful
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purposely you got this God I'm ready for you to get this under medicated practitioner of the art of ADHD even
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come crunch time I know I can accomplish anything I put my distracted mind to if
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I just tune into the podcast and pour another espresso shot into the oversized mug of coffee I've already heated
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reheated 32 times today because working parents wow never related to something more Elena really so not so heavily
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because you constantly forget where your coffee is and it's within the microwave
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always in the microwave yesterday she's looking for it and then come lunch time I go to heat up my lunch I'm like oh
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here it is and then she wrote or excuse me they wrote looking at you you get it you know exactly what I'm
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talking about but anywho please don't get bored and not open this double spaced 14 point font attached paraffa I
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promise it's not a continuance of this word soup I've served you so far I love it okay promise may be too strong a word
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but I digress I'd say feel free to edit for brevity but let's face it if you've already read through the appetizer I
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highly doubt you'll shorten the dessert the tail is a lengthy one coming in at around 16 minutes yes I timed it but I
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am a fast reader and talker so maybe more like 16. no I'm not because never be sorry
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sorry yeah did I skip over this yeah you just said no it's been a while since we
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did a listener doing maybe 16 no I'm not because [Laughter] oh it's silly goofy mood times
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time okay everybody I'm putting my hair up so a little back story when I was little I used to hear my name being
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called sometimes faintly sometimes right in my ear but no one was ever there I had a not so imaginary friend named
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Bobby until my mother destroyer of Dreams decided to evict him my mother is also a destroyer of the dreams imagine
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that are they friends do they know each other no my mom doesn't have friends but
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next round was Laura but but I was sharp enough not to give my mother those deeds
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fool me once shame on me fool me twice I may end up on a date line special and orange is not my color hey yo I knew
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Bobby and Laura were as real as you and I as real as the man who used to walk past my room every night as real as the
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indigenous teen who stared at the sky from my backyard that sounds like beautiful I know but as far as Mommy
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Dearest was concerned if she couldn't see it it did not exist my little sister on the other hand was less Sixth Sense
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and more Nostradamus wow she had an uncanny knack for pulling information out of thin air she could call it the
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lottery picks five minutes before Yolanda Vega called them she knew what hands other people had
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when we played gin rummy get her to Vegas for real she once stated she was thirsty while we were visiting an old
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Spanish Fort and just wandered off when we found her she was staring into a boarded up well saying she didn't
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understand who could have moved all the water what yeah we are freaks but we've made peace
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with our demons and sometimes snuggle with them I'm literally obsessed with you I am too because I was the decided
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the awkward child both socially and physically I didn't really have many real life friends kids in school called
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me a know-it-all I was hello and diagnosed ASD and ADH I also hear that so don't worry
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own it oh I've never said that to you um and a [ __ ] yeah I wasn't I just didn't understand social
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nuances and masking I also feel that mm-hmm I was very short and my slight frame was
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also rudely referenced by children and adults alike pull it together Society you said I was too thin when I was
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little and now you say I'm too fat as an adult pick one yeah that is literally so
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hell yeah so my schedule was always wide open making me readily available for chores
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and peer tutoring and being my mother's favorite victim of opportunity which brings me to my story I'm sorry my tale
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begins in May of 1989. I was 11 years old and my parents said they were going to the movies they couldn't find a
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babysitter and my friendless ass was just disappointing my social climbing Mother by lulling on the grass with a
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book instead of a boyfriend so I guess she figured I was the next best thing this would be my first time being home
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alone with my six-year-old sister I'm sorry but 11 years old babysitting a six-year-old is way too young that feels
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young that feels way too young to be home by yourself I only had to watch her until we went to
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bed about three hours and it was still daylight when they left so I was reasonably confident that everything
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would be a okay at the time my uncle my mother's brother often couch surfed at her house a street Soldier for the mob
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he had a bit of a checkered past and was freak and a frequent guest of the state
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if you know you know since my sister and I were so young if popo came looking oh
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if I thought you called him popo people have different names for their family I don't know Uncle popo came it's ironic
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if the popo came looking for him my mom would say they were special security escorting him to some government of that
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wow to time my mom would call these stays off at College wow much to my mother Chagrin the nerdy book room that I was
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felt so impressed with my uncle's dedication to Higher Learning I would often brag about his staunch commitment
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to Academia family would ask my mom how's your brother holding up and I would happily
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cheer about how smart he was I'm obsessed with this my parents would roll their eyes and reply as well as can be
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expected secretly I knew they were probably just jealous of his intuition his intellectual promise [ __ ] amateurs am
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I right you are right but anyway back to the nine in question I love you you're so much fun
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I was about three quarters of the way through my stint as honorary member of the babysitter's club and was doing
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quite well if you asked me my sister and I had already eaten about half the contents of the snack cabinet and
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Brilliant as we were carefully hidden all the evidence and rappers behind the healthy cereal boxes that my mom
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insisted on buying and that no one in our house ever touched my sister was safely tucked away in bed and I was in
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my bedroom with the lights out Brave [ __ ] and the TV on back then there was actual music on everything so I was
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quite contentedly eating candy and watching Madonna worship a crucified man while undulating in black lace on my
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screen I was obsessed with that music video I don't think I've ever seen that music
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video well we're gonna show it to you after this I love that I can't wait it's iconic you know totally appropriate
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viewing for an 11 year old in the 80s house as one does I reached over to my dresser and grabbed my heavy uh heavy
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Silver Plate brush the one that everyone's Nana bought them in the 80s yup ma still has hers yep and I started
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using it as a microphone and dancing around on my bed to make my 2x4 of a prepubescent body create the moves I was
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watching match effortlessly perform while probably actually looking like I was having a seizure of course as we all
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know it is only when we are dancing like nobody is watching that someone will inevitably be re-watching through
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spinning madly I shot my best sultry look over over my bird bone of a shoulder just as
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my bedroom door was opening and my uncle peeked his head into the room to his credit he didn't laugh at me he just
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waved and walked back out into the hallway presumably to lay on the couch and watch some inappropriate programming
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of his own knowing he was probably tired from all his studying I turned down the volume
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and tuned in whatever mundane and disgustingly family-friendly TV show that would have been popular in that era
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and waited for my parents to come home and hopefully pay me for my Superior babysitting skills about an hour later
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my mom came into my bedroom where I was now dutifully in my PJs brushing my knee
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length stick straight hair that I would give almost anything to have back my third pregnancy [ __ ] me up y'all one
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day I had a luscious Cascade of slick hair and by the end of those nine months I have had a girly mess reminiscent of
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Deborah Messing in the unflattering college floss back scenes of Will and Grace I feel that so hard I your hair
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looks great though I gave my hair to my kids I know I'm glad that they at least have it that's funny I literally told
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them that today yeah enjoy it I was like you guys have beautiful hair you stole it for me my
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mom was not pleased that the TV was still on and semi loudly adonished me for not being in bed yet I apologized
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and silently seed that deceived that this would definitely Dash my dreams of being financially compensated for my
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efforts and warned her not to talk too loudly because my uncle was sleeping on the couch ladies when I say I should
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have just yes ma'ammed my way under the covers and shut the [ __ ] up I mean I should have yes ma'ammed my way under
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the covers and shut the [ __ ] up my mother stood stock still a look of absolute rage on her face oh no I don't
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like this at all my mom exists in a world where there are only two occasions worth moving at the
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speed of light one is trigger warning the Rope drop at Disney World this is a trigger warning sorry Elena and I must
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shamefully can confess that treat uh has somehow been passed down to me thankfully being a Disney adult is the
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only toxic trait I have inherited from my egg donor though and the other is disciplining her children no oh I'm
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really upset about this no matter how prepared you may think you are for this woman woman's outbursts of Fury you're
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wrong we're talking Breakneck speed here one minute minute you're standing at the
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top of the stairs talking on the phone and the next minute you're dangling above the staircase suspended by your
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Little House on the Prairie breeds oh my God on this particular occasion she employed the old swipe and strike and
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one Deft maneuver she thwopped me on the head with my own brush before I even had
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the good sense to duck assuming my error had been telling her to lower her voice
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I hastily apologized and assured her I was just trying to be helpful that's awful but she wasn't having it this is
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really terrible she leaned over the bed and coldly informed to me that she did not know how I had found out where she
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had really gone that evening but that joking about her brother being in the house during her brother's funeral wake
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was neither amusing nor acceptable oh wow okay that's horrifying in every way that can be horrifying all the ways I'm
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really sorry that like broke my heart to think of you like apologizing for just saying a sentence like and it's just
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like so sad to like think of you one second dancing to Madonna in the next second being locked in the face with a
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brush because you spoke to your mother yeah I'm sorry [ __ ] up but yep I saw my uncle in my room the same night he
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was having his visitation at the funeral home I know he wasn't trying to start [ __ ] but damn if he needed to say
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goodbye he could have at least waited until I knew he was gone am I right I know he wasn't trying to start [ __ ] I
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tried to I tried to explain it to my mom that I did not know how I had seen him or how to make it happen again to which
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my mom remarked that she guessed I was a mediocre medium wasn't I no you're a great medium yeah she's being a [ __ ]
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having no idea what a medium was I gave up and went to bed and then you just went to bed it just like breaks my heart
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yeah and what a way to tell you that your uncle's passed yeah what did size have to do with seeing people nobody
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could nobody else could see ha ha it's true so yeah I now knew for sure I could see dead people especially that
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particular dead person over the next 10 years he would turn up in my living room
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my hallway my bathroom mirror which TBH scared the ever loving [ __ ] out of me we
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had a little chat after that wherein I heartily encouraged him to move on yeah don't show up in mirrors man nah but
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overall I accepted it I chatted out loud while doing dishes and vacuuming and the
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uh and one day he just seemed to have taken my advice and left as one does when one is deceased or so I thought
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fast forward a few months and I was working through a mind-numbing divorce oh my God I'm sorry
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I moved with my children into a 200 year old farmhouse surrounded by cornfields the [ __ ] dream yeah yeah I know
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today me is smarter but yesterday me was young and dumb and full of romantic ideas I get it I get it then don't call
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yourself an idiot you're no you're not you're very smart excuse me that was really a funny
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clearing of the throat that was funny Excuse me while I'm funny the house was beautiful and thankfully
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so where its ghosts my older daughter would often tell me about the woman who would sing to them and she would play
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endless games in her room with her imaginary friend Teddy I'd like to think I'm a good mother I know you are I
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definitely know you are but I'm pretty sure a good mother would have called a priest or an exorcist at that point but
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nope not me someone was being nice yeah exactly and they're making your kids Happy who cares
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someone wants to keep my kids out of my hair so I could have some me time [ __ ]
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yeah I'm in even if they happen to be on a live like just stay away from the light Carolyn other than that how about
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it so one day my mother calls me and invites us to dinner no oh don't go there don't go there
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reluctantly I agreed my mom was uh not the best company but back then she liked people to believe that she was a great
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cook so she'd order for us wow she'd ordered order for bougie ass restaurants and replayed everything
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that sounds like something she'd do it does I know her now yeah I got her and I'm always down for some free Fancy
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Pants Cuisine so we won upon entering the dining room I noticed that she'd hung a photo of my late Uncle up on the
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wall before I could even explain who it was my older daughter exclaimed it's Teddy oh my goodness I'm sorry what no
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darling it is most assuredly not Teddy but there it was the sudden realization that his name was something similar
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enough to that a small child could have misunderstood or mispronounced it to be Teddy wow my uncle had not moved on he
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had moved in I kind of love this I do too I hope I hope you do too yeah because it sounds like he knew that like
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you needed protection or like something to make you happy you know then he's hanging out with your kids just being a
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nice uncle and like giving you time for yourself like I love your uncle shortly after this enlightening occasion I moved
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again this time to a late Community my nana passed away and sightings of my uncle became rarer satisfied that he had
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gone on with his mama I looked forward to occupying a space where I knew everyone I lived with and everyone had a
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pulse until I realized that I may have jumped the gun one day I emptied my kitchen counter in order to deep clean
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the formica for Micah for Micah yes for Micah we're just classy like that what is a formica uh I don't know how to
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describe it how would you describe for Micah kind of like linole yeah linoleum a little bit yeah oh okay so to clean
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that I had to clean that oh it's like what the kitchen counter is made of I see okay okay so yeah placing the last
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item on the kitchen table I grabbed a rag and some bleach and turned back to the just cleaned off countertop to find
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it no longer cleared in a straight line from one end of the counter to the other
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was a series of Dimes they say that dimes are used by like the dead to communicate
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it was still early days for the interweb so I asked Jeeves oh my God you know you
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know also if you've listened to that Megan the stallion song love that um what that could mean and was relieved
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to find out that it was a good omen a message of love from the other side satisfied I was not living in the
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Amityville Horror house I swooped the dimes into my pocket pocketbook tossed it on the table and cleaned the
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countertop whop something collapsed on the little linoleum floor startled I spun around to see what fell it was my
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pocketbook now this thing wasn't teetering on the edge of the table it was dead center of it and none of the
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other items were on the floor so even if it had somehow slid across the surface it could not have averted all the other
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items without pushing them down as well no this thing was clearly lifted and dropped onto the floor
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I hardly collected the dimes back out of my bag and put them in a mason jar in my
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windowsill where they remained for years without further incident I love that after that for the better part of a
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decade I experienced nothing out of the ordinary my older daughter did but we worked through her fears and while her
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is never completely went away she did learn how to manage it well wow I joked to myself that while I was maybe a
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failed medium she was an accomplished small oh that's really cute and I kind of love that you took your
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mom's um like insult insult and made it a nice yeah nice like memory I made it a
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nice it made it a nice you made it nice over the course of several years she would tell me about impending storms and
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natural disasters people who were who would soon be pregnant and if she saw anyone who we knew for who had messages
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for us our Nana our grandfather friends who left too soon etc etc nothing terribly scary just random info
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my younger daughter also developed a limited ability to see a deceased friend visited her room excuse me to see a
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deceased friend visited her in her room but by the next sorry but by the time the next kiddo in line was born the
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traits seemed to have died out of the bloodline things had so completely settled down that I never even thought
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to tell my now husband about any of it until we were pregnant with my youngest child shortly after finding out he was a
00:21:05
boy we were trying to we were trying out different names for some reason it was really nagging at me to name this one
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after my uncle the poll was so strong I even dreamed about it one day my husband
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suggested my uncle's name out of the blue I happily agreed and told him the whole story I thought it would be a nice
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way to honor the man who checked up on us so steadily and for so many years so when the time came that's exactly what
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we did I love that I do too but oh no well ladies that may have been a Teensy mistake this is a roller
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coaster this is from the time my youngest would tuck oh my God from the time my youngest could talk he would say
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the creepiest things one time he asked if we could take the train trigger warning to Disney World like we did
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before Oh I told him we always drove there and that he had never been on that train he went on to correct me telling
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me that of course he had been the interior was blue and the blanket we had on his seat was blue velvet wow
00:22:00
electricity shot through my body I remembered that ride it was an extended family vacation everyone had been there
00:22:07
but it happened when I was four years old whoa that's freaky I steered him away from the train conversation and told him
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we would most assuredly be going to Disney but by car my son agreed that that would be okay and then asked if he
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could ride with another family member like he used to on the ride down holy [ __ ] again this child has never ridden
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with anyone but us but sure enough he perfectly described the brand new Oldsmobile we'd taken to Florida with
00:22:35
that family member when I was around six years old he eventually dropped it but later on he
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asked if he could get new Mickey ears with his name stitched onto them like he used to have oh God now I already warned
00:22:47
you that I'm a Disney adult so yes my kid already had several sets of Mickey ears but they were all themed ears like
00:22:53
our R2D2 and Toy Story none were just regular ears he had never had a pair with his name on them because the 21st
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century is scary as [ __ ] and there are too many weirdos who could use that info
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to harm him I'm not stupid I listened to more big podcast y'all I told him he could get new ears but that he had never
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had ones like he had described and the new ones probably wouldn't be like that either he rolled his eyes at me and said
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that he did too in fact have a pair with his name on them and then calmly pointed
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to a photograph of my nana and said back when she was my mom remember whoa he said you were a baby and we all
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went to Disney World and she said we should all get ears with our names on them now ladies I have no personal
00:23:36
knowledge of these ears however I do have of personal knowledge of photographs of a family vacation to
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Disney when I was a baby a vacation my uncle attended a vacation wherein my nana bought everyone ears with their
00:23:49
names on them so we could take a family portrait with them I have to assume that
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this was what my son was referring to again I'm sorry what this is wild that's it's wild but it's also so [ __ ] cool
00:24:05
oh it's so cool like I can't imagine it being in that moment because oh my God you are actually reincarnated you're my
00:24:13
child but like Uncle you're my child but my uncle other strange things have been
00:24:18
my son's ability to identify photos of people who passed long before he was born random memories that he could not
00:24:24
have and knowledge of events that predate his birth when my grandfather passed away a few years ago my son told
00:24:31
me not to worry because pop pop was hanging out with Joe full-on last name now come again Joe was my grandfather's best
00:24:38
friend Joe died long before my son was born I have no photos of Joe and since I no longer had any relationship with my
00:24:46
mother anymore he would not have seen a picture or heard his name either my son could not have known about Joe and yet
00:24:53
here we sat in stunned silence my son's pensive and mine apprehensive wow another time he asked me to make pasta
00:25:01
fajool um you didn't even have to give me that pronunciation because I [ __ ] love
00:25:06
pasta fishing oh I love pasta facial as well and he asked if she could make it like when he was little I never made
00:25:12
pasta for sure y'all I added the all no one in the family did aside for my nana when I clarified once again he said oh
00:25:20
yeah I meant one I used to be oh my God the other time when she was my mom wow I
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sadly informed him that the recipe was lost when she passed away and he calmly informed me that it was in the green box
00:25:32
what the [ __ ] what green box I was perplexed later on I mentioned it to my husband who suggested he may have been
00:25:39
talking about a green box we had recently come across when going through some of my grandfather's belongings sure
00:25:45
enough I went downstairs opened the box and what did I find spoiler alert I make
00:25:50
pasta for sure that's awesome and I would love so I love this also fun fact I also found
00:25:57
coupons from the 1970s and a mail order hardcover cookbook offer for 199. oh my gosh I wonder if I could still cash that
00:26:05
baby and try it and whom do I have to thank for that these days my son does not remember as much as he used to about
00:26:11
when he was being raised by my nana whether one chooses to believe that it's true or not is completely up to
00:26:16
themselves I for one am a believer make me too and I think it gives me a unique perspective on life and death definitely
00:26:24
I don't claim to know where we go but I know for a fact that one way or the other we do go on
00:26:30
on the upshot at least I know to keep an eye on my son to keep him from repeating
00:26:35
his last life's mistakes but on the other hand it's more of a smidgen weird to think that I am currently raising
00:26:41
someone who knows more about my childhood than I do this is very strange and who has known me longer than I have
00:26:47
known him that's wild that's a wild statement and that by morbid Mistresses is my long ass story of being a mediocre
00:26:54
I just burped through that I'm so sorry you are like I'm a burpee lurpee I mean what else is new it is my long ass story
00:27:02
of being a mediocre medium who was haunted by my own Uncle who was so desperate for a do-over that he heeded
00:27:09
himself into my son's body oh and in case you were wondering and in case you were wondering my sister still has Mad
00:27:16
Skills her favorite parlor trick to date is waking up to a roulette walking up to
00:27:21
a roulette table laying an obscene amount of money down and calling it accurate accurately
00:27:27
color and number like wow that's crazy she doesn't do it often she doesn't need the money I think it's just a fun little
00:27:34
rush for her I love her too so maybe she does it for her friends maybe she does it for the clown [ __ ] I don't know maybe
00:27:39
she does it for the grams but she's still got it love you both so much and if you happen to read this on the
00:27:46
podcast thank you so much as well love and mush Esmerelda toffelmeyer Esmeralda don't forget to keep an open mind and to
00:27:52
keep it weird but not so weird that take it away Ash but not so weird that you ever are mean
00:27:57
to your kid like that because I really hated that part where you got hit with a brush and you should have never gotten
00:28:00
hit with a pretty brush either like that sucks but do keep it so weird that your
00:28:04
uncle reincarnates into one of your kids potties because I think that's really [ __ ] cool and how awesome to have all
00:28:08
those memories and find the pasta fazool recipe that is great all of that I love
00:28:12
you Esmeralda I think you are amazing that was such a story that was that was incredible and I believe you I I believe
00:28:21
it I believe you and those stories are like some of my favorite kind alright so my next one because Esmeralda just
00:28:29
really laid the groundwork for a great episode here truly my next one is entitled a forest full of bodies oh yeah
00:28:37
hey Elena Nash I've attached my 14 point font PDF of a listener tale it's a weird
00:28:42
one and it's long what you said PDF because it does not say potipho it says PDF it always says but I know that if
00:28:51
you read it you won't cut it down for time because you're great like that thanks for all you do I'm horrified
00:28:57
let's see you'll get over it I know it oh my [Laughter] God hi Elena and Ash I feel very
00:29:05
unqualified to write in because the stories you read on the show are always so well written but this story is so
00:29:10
crazy I've never heard it covered on anything other than local news and I think it's right up y'all's alley ooh my
00:29:17
name you can use it is Aaron hi Erin I like how you spell it and I grew up in a small town in Northwest Georgia just in
00:29:23
case you read this on the show I feel obligated to say that there are some really nice things about growing up and
00:29:28
living in a small town and that the South isn't a monolith yeah there are so many good people here and some of us
00:29:34
have chosen to stay so that so that we can bring out the best parts of our communities and squash the yucky Parts I
00:29:39
love that I traded my original small town for another one when I moved to Alabama for law school and I love my
00:29:46
people here sorry for my tangent but it makes me sad and a little frustrated when people paint the South with a broad
00:29:51
brush and assume we're all intolerant backwards [ __ ] well thank you for painting in another way yeah anyway my
00:29:57
listener tale is about a backwoods [ __ ] or at least a seriously unwell man who lived about 15 minutes from my
00:30:05
childhood home the jury is still out on which one he is because he's never given
00:30:09
an answer for why he did what he did but boy did he do it uh-oh I was about six or seven in 2002 when the news first
00:30:16
broke that almost 350 bodies had been discovered in the woods in my a community so small it doesn't have its
00:30:23
own ZIP code but I'm getting ahead of myself what the [ __ ] I never heard of this neither have I it all started with
00:30:30
a concerned propane delivery driver he called in his concerns to the county sheriff's department after making two
00:30:36
separate deliveries to a Crematory crematorium in Northwest Georgia some deputies went out but apparently didn't
00:30:43
find anything weird it's unclear what he saw that was alarming but I've always wondered if it was him who called in the
00:30:49
anonymous tip to the EPA in Atlanta in early 2012. either way someone called in the tip telling the EPA that something
00:30:56
was seriously wrong at this crematorium after receiving it the agency set officers out to investigate and they
00:31:04
found some skeletal remains that was just the beginning officers returned to the crematorium after that this time
00:31:11
they discovered much more than a skull and some other bones what they found would change the lives of thousands and
00:31:17
would rock the community forever what did they find 339 bodies decomposing in the woods holy
00:31:25
[ __ ] what 339 bodies the scene was so massive that a federal disaster team was called in
00:31:35
and a portable morgue had to be brought down from Maryland the team began ident trying to identify the remains but the
00:31:42
task was impossible in many cases because so many were in such Advanced stages of decomposition of the 339
00:31:49
bodies that were found 226 were identified it makes me so sad that there were so many left on
00:31:55
identified but that is incredible that they could get that 226 six it turns out that the crematory's owner Brent Marsh
00:32:03
had been essentially hoarding bodies instead of cremating them wow when families would come to retrieve their
00:32:09
loved ones remains he would simply give them an urn full of concrete dust oh my God 113 sets of family and friends will
00:32:19
never know if they received an urn full of dust oh my God Marsh was charged by the state of
00:32:25
Georgia with a 787 separate counts including abuse of a corpse if the internet is correct the County D.A even
00:32:33
created a new law in order to prosecute him Marsh pleaded guilty but never offered an explanation when entering his
00:32:39
guilty plea he said to those of you who may have come here today looking for answers I cannot give you
00:32:44
no you definitely can you need to give people some kind of [ __ ] answer I do remember one rumor that he wanted to see
00:32:51
how bodies decomposed in different conditions and created his own makeshift Body Farm there's like real body Farms
00:32:57
though right like with people who have volunteered to do that after death exactly written it down and have given
00:33:05
their consent wow but I don't know how true that is there were lots of rumors about the
00:33:10
situation including one that his father from whom he inherited the crematorium and who also installed septic tanks put
00:33:16
bodies underneath those two did people investigate that it's all even more confusing when you consider that it
00:33:22
would have been easier for marsh to properly cremate the deceased than it was for him to do what he did yeah
00:33:27
apparently he claimed at one point that the crematorium wasn't working but he was but it was tested and found to be
00:33:33
working fine and even if it wasn't proper maintenance would have kept it in good shape about five years later
00:33:40
Marsha's lawyers claimed that Marsh was suffering from Mercury toxicity they said that the ventilation of the
00:33:45
Crematory was not working properly and he received Mercury Mercury toxicity from cremating those with Mercury
00:33:51
fillings in their teeth what I don't know if Mercury toxicity can make you stage 339 people's bodies on your
00:33:58
property but that explanation seems sus to me either way we've never received an
00:34:03
answer about why it happened and the friends and families of The 100 113 unidentified people have never found out
00:34:09
if their loved ones were properly cremated and to think that people had their loved ones cremated there thought
00:34:16
they did and you don't know if what you have is concrete dust or your loved one and if your loved one is possibly one of
00:34:25
the ones that just decomposed in the woods somewhere no that's so horrific like and to think that like every time
00:34:31
because every time you pass by and earn of your loved one like you think like oh
00:34:34
like yeah and then now every time you're walking past that you're like is that you in
00:34:42
there like that gives Comfort that's so [ __ ] up several civil suits followed as well and as part of one of the
00:34:48
settlements all of the buildings on the property were torn down a few days years
00:34:51
later good as for marsh he will be released he was released from prison in 2016. still lives in the county
00:34:58
somewhere he will be on probation for 75 years which should be longer than he's alive
00:35:03
he should have been in jail the rest of his life he was recently denied an early
00:35:07
end to his probation which put him back in the news I scrolled through the comments on one of the news stories and
00:35:12
saw person after person commenting about how they still lacked closure because they still didn't know if the urn they
00:35:17
were given contained their loved ones remains or concrete dust oh my God I don't know how you heal from that but I
00:35:23
hope time is making their grief a little more manageable that's how I feel if you've read this far thank you and
00:35:28
thanks for telling the whole world about the 113 people who will never know they
00:35:32
deserve to have their story told keep it weird but not so weird that you leave 339 people's bodies in the woods instead
00:35:38
of treating them with the respect they deserve love and light Aaron like what the [ __ ] goes on in some people's
00:35:48
brains I how are you that evil I and to do it that many times and forever long he did it and then to say you don't have
00:35:58
an answer as to why you did that and no offer of like I'm so sorry sorry for what I've done even though that never
00:36:03
helps but it's like try it man like seriously I'm I want to look further into that case I'm oh I want to talk
00:36:13
about that more because that's wow that's a wild one there's got to be more like I need to
00:36:20
know all about this seriously that's just really heartbreaking to think that there's that more people out there
00:36:25
second guessing if they have 13 people who have no idea and then like if you're sitting there wondering if that's
00:36:32
concrete dust I feel like part of you would want to like get rid of that urn but then you'd be like [ __ ] what if it's
00:36:37
not a concrete to us yeah is there any way to have there must be a way that you could test it I would
00:36:43
assume right but I don't know how to know either and then imagine having to go through that process yeah oh my oh
00:36:50
man what a wild style thank you for sending that in there and that's yeah wild but yeah I think you should
00:36:55
definitely look more into it yeah maybe that's an interesting the whole story horrifying if possible yeah
00:37:01
all right wow my next one is the time my mom made a ghost listen and it starts off hello my Kindred
00:37:10
experience oh I'm a New England transplant by way of Chaos in Oregon say it how your mama taught you because
00:37:16
local dialects and all okay so it's Oregon yeah and really we all know what the [ __ ] you're saying either way I love
00:37:21
you I literally love you honestly I don't even know why I've never made that point like you guys all know what the
00:37:26
[ __ ] we're saying well and also my dad literally the other day we were out to lunch with him and he was talking about
00:37:33
something and he said Oregon I was like Oregon there it is that's where it came from I was like that's where we got it
00:37:38
from it's like all right and he's like that's how I see it yeah okay I forget he had an explanation too as to why he
00:37:43
said it that way yeah I don't know yeah anyways I've lived in the Boston area for almost 23 years now so this is my
00:37:49
home I found you two in your underwater era actually found you about five episodes in Davis you I've been
00:37:54
listening to other True Crime podcasts um and morbid showed up as a you may also like suggestion turns out the
00:38:01
algorithm was spot [ __ ] on and I've been listening ever since my middle one liberty yes you can use all the names
00:38:07
minus Abby hi again hi but Liberty who was 15 at the time and I would often listen to you while I was making dinner
00:38:14
and she would just help or just chill with me because this was back when we only got one episode a week no
00:38:19
complaints we all got to start somewhere and now you spoil us and 15 year old could totally commit to once a week and
00:38:25
hang out uh sorry and a 15 year old could totally commit to once a week hang out with mom in the kitchen you two have
00:38:31
banter that is so familiar to us both as is as this is how my neuro spicy Offspring my little sister and little
00:38:38
old me tend to converse oh I love that anywho you two and all your new buds Deb Deb Mikey and all the new friends to the
00:38:45
Pod that have popped that have popped in have become family to Libby and me and both of us are so happy for your success
00:38:52
and continued growth wow you're wonderful that was so sweet thank you Abby now on to the meat of it my family is
00:38:59
well gifted in the art of healing in intuitive ways and because of this have had many encounters with spoopy and
00:39:05
unseen some really disturbing some just like oh sure Mister or Miss ghosty I hear you no really I hear them and my
00:39:12
sister sees them and together we are the super ghost Duo sorry I did mention neuro spicy one track mind is not mine
00:39:20
now if I can focus for just long enough I will tell this tale I was about a twinkle in the eye of my parents meaning
00:39:27
I was about three years from uh I was about three years away from being born one of my favorite stories happened to
00:39:33
my family I loved this one when I was growing up well I loved all the ghost stories my fam had as well as dinner
00:39:39
conversations of my dad's day of work he was a paramedic and would always have some gory tale like when he was a train
00:39:45
when he had a trainee and they showed up to a call and the guy was just chilling
00:39:49
in his armchair holding his entire guts because his stitches had popped and well
00:39:53
it all Spilled Out oh my goodness that's heinous but now uh but that is not the story for today thank you and I'm
00:40:00
honestly glad for that because we're eating lunch soon but okay it was the early 70s and my mom
00:40:05
and dad had just gotten married and found a home they could afford the house had originally been a home to a loving
00:40:10
couple who had a whole last life in that house the wife had died in the house foreshadowing and the husband could no
00:40:16
longer live in the house so rented it out for a while to anyone who wanted to rent you know the 70s of it all no
00:40:22
credit check no references and no worries the last tenants that occupied the house
00:40:27
were utter human trash for many reasons but I just need one they mistreated their dogs oh yeah that's it that's all
00:40:34
I needed to know yep hate that one thing they would let uh excuse me one thing they would do with their dogs was they
00:40:40
would let them defecate and urinate just anywhere and then and then these absolute good for nothings would just
00:40:46
put a wooden board over said bodily functions that's so gross one thing that's so much that's more work than
00:40:54
cleaning it up that's more work than taking them outside yeah one thing I never thought to ask and now I must
00:41:00
where the hell are they getting all these boards from truly after seeing this house my Mom and Dad decided this
00:41:06
was the house for them because they love to restore just about everything healers
00:41:11
we love a project I love that and so the house with all its ick because no one touched the toxic mess that those
00:41:17
tenants left was their first home side note as a real estate broker of over 14 years I cannot believe this was allowed
00:41:24
but again the 70s of it all they began immediately to restore the house by first making it safe to live in by
00:41:30
removing all the poop and potty boards and ripping out carpets to restore the hardwood once it was habitable they
00:41:36
moved in now to understand the rest of the story you will need to have a visual of the layout there was a basement
00:41:41
because all spoopy stories need one first floor and second floor the first floor was sort of split in half with the
00:41:48
kitchen on one half and living room on the other half and dining room on the front of the house
00:41:53
the kitchen and the living room were separated by the stairway that went to the second floor there was a door at the
00:41:58
bottom of the stairs and it opened up to the kitchen at the top of the stairs was
00:42:02
a small hallway with two bedrooms off of them the kitchen also had a door that opened to the basement well it was a
00:42:09
basement but not like folks think today it was one of those with a dirt floor and [ __ ] walls from the heating system
00:42:15
not a welcoming place that basement okay my parents move in and begin to tear off
00:42:20
the wallpaper put new wallpaper up paint put Furniture where they want it you know make it their own my mom says it
00:42:27
all started with the living room and putting furniture where they wanted it turns out the ghosts like to redecorate
00:42:33
and move the furniture around at night to where she wanted it yes my parents were sure it was the dead wife oh so in
00:42:39
the morning my mom who was now preggers with my older sister would put the moved
00:42:43
items back and just go on with her day I think the ghost did not like her nonchalant attitude of just putting it
00:42:48
back over and over again because the ghost turned it up a notch the next thing to happen was remember the door at
00:42:55
the bottom of the stairway that opened to the kitchen well that door took to opening then slamming closed over and
00:43:02
over and over again every morning at what time in the morning you ask around 3 A.M of course with a swoosh open a
00:43:11
pause like the ghost needed to gain enough energy to slam it closed again and again
00:43:16
it would last a few minutes and then stop one time my parents had just repainted the kitchen wall White and the
00:43:22
morning after another door slamming Fest they found what looked like a hand like
00:43:26
the whole four fingers in the thumb drag across the wall in soot from the basement door to the second floor
00:43:33
stairway door I hate that that's so creepy oh that sounds like um you know whose
00:43:39
house oh I hate it I hate it with the face yes oh Mom and Dad kept living there and fixing
00:43:45
the house and it was looking damn fine my sister had been born and now the door slamming was starting to really upset my
00:43:51
mom because my newborn baby sister was in the room on the other end of that small hallway and every time that door
00:43:57
at the bottom of the stair slammed my mom the badass would rush down the hallway to save the terrified newborn
00:44:03
the basement well that is a place my mom would not go into but my dad and my mom's brother had to fix or build
00:44:10
something down there honestly can't remember while down there they discovered a two by four hole
00:44:16
uh dug into the dirt wall of the basement and they found it because while down there working they noticed a breeze
00:44:23
that came from that direction basements should not have breezes just saying no they should not no this is a no-pole
00:44:30
that is a no pull I've left it alone but you know they didn't they opened it because the dirt
00:44:36
hole had a cover and my dad owned the house and the cover now you own that cover now exactly so yeah open it nope
00:44:44
holes should never be opened and found what they assumed was the previous owner's son's military medals that's
00:44:51
really cool that's wild because of the time the conflict or War they were associated with well the moving
00:44:57
furniture started to do some new things after this the kitchen table chairs would be stacked in inhuman ways in the
00:45:04
morning it was now really upsetting my parents and my mom decided it was her house and this needed to stop hell yeah
00:45:10
so she had a conversation with the wife that died in the house and she said look
00:45:14
I know this was your house and you must have loved it but we are now the owners we love this house and are just trying
00:45:20
to fix it after all the abuse from the previous people that lived here you need to understand that the door slamming and
00:45:26
the furniture moving are scaring us we want to stay here and continue to take care of the house but won't be able to
00:45:32
if you do not stop scaring what a badass and that's such a nice way of saying it
00:45:36
like yeah I know this was your house and you love me we love it too and we love it too and she's being like because they
00:45:42
she's probably pissed at the previous owners that completely desecrated that house so she thinks they're just gonna
00:45:48
do the same thing exactly she's being like we want to fix what they did like don't we don't want to be like them now
00:45:54
this I suppose could have backfired but the ghost listened and my mom said the energy of the house immediately lifted
00:46:00
and it actually looked brighter in the house after oh did the ghosty stuff stop no but it was different now my mom would
00:46:07
hear my sister wake and cry not because the door was slamming but just normal baby things just baby she would get up
00:46:12
to comfort her to find the Cradle rocking on its own with my sister in it on so many occasions my goodness
00:46:18
sometimes she would wake up just as mothers do and go check on my sister to find her sleeping soundly but the
00:46:24
rocking chair oh my God I just got chilled I have chills all over it would be rhythmically rocking like there was
00:46:30
someone watching over my sister sleeping oh my God that would scare the [ __ ] out
00:46:33
of me I'm not but I love it so much especially if it's like a good feeling but it's beautiful yeah my mom always
00:46:39
thought that the woman who once lived in the house who raised her family there and had her death there was just trying
00:46:44
to protect the house as it had been so disrespected before definitely once my mom told this woman that my
00:46:50
parents just wanted the same opportunity for our family in that house and that my
00:46:54
mom would love and protect this woman uh and protect the house this woman became
00:46:59
an ally and appeared to love my family oh my God I love this I mean how many people can say they had a ghost Grandma
00:47:04
I love that but that's what she became to my family eventually my dad had a job opportunity to relocate and so they left
00:47:11
the house and my ghost GMA behind all before I was born bummer I know that's a bummer oh but thanks for reading my
00:47:18
story and next time I will tell the story about the time I saw what I now think was an angel but what my
00:47:23
six-year-old organized religion saturated brain thought was a fire demon Diamond a diamond in my grandparents
00:47:30
basement and don't forget to keep it so weird but excuse me and don't forget to keep it so weird that you tell the ghost
00:47:36
to stop scaring you and make a new Supernatural family member I love that so much that's beautiful like I love
00:47:42
that that is so much that was a delightful tale it really was wow dang I would almost say leave it on that but I
00:47:50
have one more and I love the subject lineup I was gonna say in the subject line is great you can't leave this one
00:47:55
hanging oh but seriously thank you for that that was amazing I know I love that and your mom sounds like a badass I know
00:48:00
I love it we needed a good mom story after that one yeah right so this one is entitled the night my husband became a
00:48:08
Scooby-Doo villain yeah which is always a welcome thing hey weirdos I've got a tale for you about the night that my
00:48:14
husband was possessed by a Scooby-Doo ghoul during an attempted break-in I'll attach the story and also a super creepy
00:48:21
photo much love to you ladies hope to hear this on the podcast one day here it is
00:48:26
oh my goodness oh that's a [ __ ] terrifying photo oh my goodness what is this you sounded like The Tick Tock
00:48:33
sound it's like oh my goodness oh my damn oh I hate this okay I don't like this at all hey weirdos I'd love nothing
00:48:40
more than to hear you guys say my name but since I don't actually know where in the world the Intruder Who Stare at
00:48:45
stars in the story is oh my I hate that I figured it would probably be best to change mine and my husband's snake for
00:48:51
the sake of the story that is smart yes you can call me Michelle Michelle he'll call my husband Frank because I'm pretty
00:48:58
sure he'd hate it and that's hilarious to me break the tank hi Frank I found your podcast a couple months ago and now
00:49:04
it's my current binge I'm one of those crazy people that can only listen to [ __ ] and order so I'm furiously
00:49:09
consuming your podcast practically the entire day so that I can catch up damn someone's gonna do something I know I'm
00:49:15
sorry somehow keeping an earbud in one ear all day to listen to you ladies talk about murder and or spoopy [ __ ] keeps me
00:49:21
saying and while I'm doing my day-to-day mom stuff my husband is terrified of me
00:49:25
laughing my ass off we relate to that sentiment let's dive into it I feel compelled to tell you to feel free to
00:49:32
trim down as much as you would like but I know you ladies prefer to get all the tea so I guess just hold on to your
00:49:37
butts because I tend to be long-winded I feel that too it's a problem that I have
00:49:41
absolutely no intention of working on me neither I'm a stay-at-home mom in northern
00:49:46
Minnesota my husband is in construction and is often on the road during the week
00:49:50
boo I didn't say that she did however on the night in question he and his partner
00:49:54
made a last-minute change of plans and said screw hotels will stay well we're sick of them let's drive the three hours
00:50:01
home to see our families for even just a little bit this was obviously a break from their Norm so this person may have
00:50:07
been watching your house the night that we got the rudest [ __ ] Awakening ever was in September of 2021. yeah being
00:50:15
Minnesota there was already a chill in the air leaves changing and falling you know that good [ __ ] we were those like
00:50:20
hell yeah this night however was warmer than it had been lately my ass was helter sweltering and it was making me
00:50:26
cranky as [ __ ] sorry my men's I know you just drove all those extra miles to see
00:50:30
me tonight but don't [ __ ] touch me so I got up to open up one of our bedroom windows no the one on my
00:50:38
husband's side of the bed and that is perpendicular to our garage door outside I know I know fresh air is people anyway
00:50:45
I only had the window cracked a few inches but I also had the blinds up a bit too because although I love my cats
00:50:52
down to the very depths of my soul those dicks will 100 Shred the blinds trying to sit in the open window wow yup at
00:50:59
around 4 15 am I was awoken by a banging sound I had figured it must have been either the Chipmunks that live in our
00:51:05
garage despite our best live trapping and relocation efforts or a squirrel I had been facing away from the window but
00:51:12
I rolled over and amidst my sleepy Haze My Brain started ringing all sorts of alarm Bells it took me a hot moment but
00:51:19
suddenly my brain finally snapped to it and I realized that there was a [ __ ] man at our window oh my God arm leaning
00:51:26
against the window just peering in looking like this is the most normal [ __ ] thing for a person to be doing
00:51:31
right before the butt crack of dawn oh my God man there's a man Frank where the words that came out of my mouth as I'm
00:51:39
staring at the man just chilling baseball cap backwards and everything I start smacking the [ __ ] out of my
00:51:45
husband to try to wake him up when he awoke and saw this [ __ ] just staring at us my dear sweet beloved
00:51:51
husband tried to muster up a loud and threatening voice oh no guys he really did genuinely try
00:51:58
points for the effort of being woken up in such a startling manner brain too sleepy to even fully
00:52:06
possess what he's looking at and his voice catching in his throat you know because he's been unconscious for the
00:52:11
last eight hours oh no what came out of his mouth was not my husband's voice at all I swear on my mother's grave the
00:52:18
voice that that exited my husband sounded exactly like an old-school Scooby-Doo oh no specifically those
00:52:27
green ghost [ __ ] with the chains I know exactly what you're talking about episode a night of fright is no Delight
00:52:37
I feel like we should pause and listen to it because she sent us the Ring The Ring video and she did not say we could
00:52:43
share it that's why I'm not gonna play it here yeah we should listen to it and react we need to
00:52:48
stop oh I feel like we need like a little clip of those Ghoulies in the united friend is no Delight oh my
00:53:08
God hey hey oh man that was amazing and you know what you could tell when he was woke out
00:53:16
of Dead Space no one wants to see a person at their window of course not and he's trying to
00:53:23
protect you so he's just like oh I gotta be scary and this is so scary you can see the man just leaning up against
00:53:29
their window and when her husband is like what do you want he doesn't even move ew it's so good I'll show it to you
00:53:35
it's really scary so there I am now awaken up to be terrified by the man [ __ ] watching us sleep and I hear
00:53:42
what are you doing and I about [ __ ] my pants because I thought the man was yelling back at us
00:53:53
like what the [ __ ] do you mean dude I'm trying to sleep so now Frank I know Frank is fumbling
00:54:00
with the combination to the lock box he keeps next to his side of the bed that contains his firearm and I'm immediately
00:54:06
dialing 9-1-1 now you'd think this [ __ ] stain would try to book it after being
00:54:11
called out right wrong he didn't even flip the Nimrod stays in our bedroom window and tries to break into our
00:54:16
garage door that is right next to it he's kicking pounding and trying to wrestle the padlock off the door with
00:54:23
apparently just his bare hands he is tapped like that's something's going on there it's scary too because he looks
00:54:29
like a normal dude he literally has like a windbreaker and khakis on anybody who's doing that after being caught yeah
00:54:36
something's wrong and like knowing that you're calling 9-1-1 obviously he's super brilliant and well thought out
00:54:42
plan doesn't work I'm on the phone with the 9-1-1 operator giving them our address while Frank cannot get the
00:54:47
[ __ ] lock box combination to work when Dude starts to walk back down our driveway I'm assuming that Einstein here
00:54:53
has finally decided to hoof it so I tell the operator that I'll go pee got our love living room window so I can tell
00:54:58
them which direction he's headed so they can hopefully NAB the bastard now I'm always pretty now I've always been
00:55:05
pretty proud of myself for the fact that every time I've ever needed to call 9-1-1 I've been super level-headed and
00:55:10
calm on the outside despite being a panic about being in a panic on the inside but when I pulled back that
00:55:16
curtain to see which way they went down the sidewalk this absolute to see which way
00:55:22
down the sidewalk this absolute Chrome went I all but [ __ ] myself because he was standing directly outside the window
00:55:30
peering in our faces were inches from each other with only a pane of glass in between did
00:55:38
you shart I profusely apologize to that poor 9-1-1 operator before they disconnected because the scream that
00:55:45
exited my body by its own free will will surely must have shattered their eardrum
00:55:49
whoops I mean I would have done the exact same thing though back to my Scooby-Doo ghoul of a husband
00:55:58
by the time he's finally gotten that damn lock box open and has his firearm out he's now rushing out to the living
00:56:05
room and Sir creeps a lot has made his way to the front door what I hear the storm door Creak as he opens it and then
00:56:12
the door handle starts rattling cue the highest amount of dread I've ever felt yet tonight because now I am standing in
00:56:18
our living room wondering if our old ass door that is difficult to latch thus easy to open was double checked before
00:56:24
we went to bed that night it's part of my bedtime routine to check all doors and windows so I do it without even
00:56:29
thinking about it however the flip side of that is now I can't remember whether it was actually done or not I have done
00:56:34
that a million times and I know you have too oh Frank runs to the front door and
00:56:39
flips on the entryway light my mind is thinking yo what the [ __ ] Frank I don't
00:56:42
want him to see us but then I see how he's trying to scare away numbnuts he holds his firearm up to the small window
00:56:48
to the front door and aims it directly at the man's face there is no way he doesn't see what that he is literally
00:56:54
staring down the barrel of a gun my husband was then released by this we do spirit that possessed his vocal cords
00:57:01
and yelled out in a calm but firm voice sir I will shoot you where you stand if you enter this house
00:57:12
side note as I'm writing this I'm realizing what a turn on it is for me to have my husband protect our family hot
00:57:18
damn like oh you were like don't touch me now you're like hey now you're like well
00:57:25
[ __ ] Frank that was really hot anyways the 911 operator is now yelling in my ear to tell my husband to put the
00:57:33
firearm away I'll be absolutely do not have any weapons out the police are on their way I respect you during your job
00:57:39
9-1-1 operator but a thousand percent hell nah we have no idea what this man wants what type of weapons he might have
00:57:46
on him and what his intentions are for trying to enter our home after watching us sleep exactly and being caught he
00:57:52
knows you see him isn't there like a stand your ground law in certain places yeah damn [ __ ] that [ __ ] him in that
00:57:58
moment we didn't give a [ __ ] if Minnesota is not a stand your ground state he was not crossing the threshold
00:58:04
into our home where three beautiful babies were sleeping blissfully unaware upstairs oh my God I don't blame you at
00:58:09
all I would 100 kill someone where they stood just shoot for the kneecaps yes don't you dare despite Frank's serious
00:58:16
warning stupid face here is still rattling the doorknob which means he is off like into outer space like something
00:58:24
bad is gonna happen if he comes in your house look at this next part pushing and
00:58:28
banging on the door Frank repeats it this [ __ ] straight up looks my husband dead ass in the eye and says back so do
00:58:34
it nah you won't I [ __ ] dare you bro there is a real life literal actual gun in your face prob's not the best
00:58:43
time to go throwing out dares huh thankfully during this absolutely supercharged intense moment multiple
00:58:50
police cars arrive coming in hot the 911 operator gets their wish as soon as we see the lights and Frank unloads his
00:58:56
fire alarm and returns it to his lock box when our perp notices the lights he goes flying towards the backyard guys it
00:59:03
was straight up like a scene from any cop show ever watch Ever watching him be taken down he tried to hop our side
00:59:09
fence into the neighbor's yard and this huge officer just grabs him mid-hop and slams him to the ground iconic he got up
00:59:16
fighting though and in the end it took about six officers to wrestle him into the cups and drag him Kicking and
00:59:21
Screaming into the car can you imagine what this man would have done the whole time he was yelling you can't just
00:59:27
arrest me I didn't do [ __ ] you can't cuff me man I'm just standing here no you're trying to actively break into my
00:59:33
home yeah ring cameras determined that that was a lie my dude right once it was a reasonable time of day I spoke to a
00:59:39
detective to get a little more info on what the flying [ __ ] just happened and snag an email address to send our ring
00:59:45
camera footage to to turns out this asshat lives two blocks from us stop he tested I'm not shocked he tested
00:59:51
positive for drugs although what drugs in particular were not shared with me he just seemed so unhinged like and to
00:59:58
fight the officers like that and the fact that right six people who had to hold him down like something was off
01:00:03
yeah definitely once he came down a bit he told officers that he was just at the
01:00:09
wrong house no okay sure I call BS on that but cool cool makes it makes sense I also behaved this exact same way when
01:00:16
trying to enter my own home I mean I guess because of the drugs it's definitely possible but I can't shake
01:00:22
the fact that my husband was not supposed to be home that night it's so scary I was it was very out of the norm
01:00:28
and unfortunately it wouldn't have been hard to figure that out I can't let my mind go there too much though I don't
01:00:33
even want to imagine what could have happened that night had the kids and I've been alone oh my God since then I
01:00:38
keep my own firearm close to the side my side of the bed at night he faced gross demeanor trespassing and
01:00:47
resisting arrest charges and a couple other misdemeanors he was already on probation after causing a car accident
01:00:52
while under the influence and he was still let out on bail I was under the impression that that would have been a
01:00:58
go directly to jail do not pass go moment but whatevs the county victims advocate we were assigned to was
01:01:04
supposed to keep us informed on his legal proceedings but basically ended up ghosting us wow I don't know what went
01:01:10
on but we were never able to get into contact with anyone and I could not for the life of me find anything online
01:01:15
about how all that went down love that for me that's so [ __ ] up with literally no answer with the trauma that
01:01:23
you had to deal with and she's like does this man still live two blocks for me where is he the detective said he was
01:01:29
given a strong warning to stay away from us oh okay gee thanks but it would have
01:01:34
been highly unlikely that he would have been granted a restraining order since we did not actually know him or have any
01:01:39
other previous issues with him dum dum dum dum it's wild to me that the kid it's always
01:01:45
the cause of like well did they hurt you physically like did they break into your
01:01:49
house yeah they have to try to murder you well sorry we can't stop him from doing that again until he tries to kill
01:01:54
you or yeah like we can't thanks to being raised by a medium key Doomsday prepper for a father although
01:02:01
I'd say he's more like the human equivalent of a slimy piece of wilted floppy celery I know I've been described
01:02:06
by multiple therapists as very hyper Vigilant and at times maybe even a little paranoid let's just say that this
01:02:12
did not Aid in trying to overcome and relax a bit I still can't look out that particular bedroom window after it gets
01:02:18
dark and bills be damned we just turn the AC on at night if it's a bit warm good which makes me sad because if
01:02:23
there's one thing I love it's a nice cool fresh Breeze I also love that and it is sad about that but yeah but more
01:02:30
safe yeah well that's my story about the night my husband turned into a Scooby-Doo villain I'll attach the most
01:02:35
bone chilling photo of this dingleberry looking in through our window and a brief clip of Frank's iconic healing I'm
01:02:42
so happy that you at least have that thank you you know yeah feel free to play it on the podcast if the story
01:02:47
makes the cut let's go we will play it do we want to play it now do you want to finish it so I didn't want to do it
01:02:54
um I'm considering turning it into his ringtone without telling him of course please do so I have so many other
01:03:00
stories I would love to send in like the ghost I saw in a haunted as [ __ ] Tavern
01:03:03
I once worked in an eerily wholesome message from the grave I received from a high school boyfriend years after he
01:03:09
passed a super weird glitch in The Matrix I experienced involving Burger King oh or the ghost light in my house
01:03:15
let me know if any of those actually sound interesting because I'm sure you get absolutely flooded with listener
01:03:19
Tales send them all in let's send all of those in one email immediately just multiple potiphos I'll let you take it
01:03:25
from here Ash keep it weird but not so weird that uh you traveled to somebody's house and you [ __ ] stare at them
01:03:30
while they're sleeping and then you threaten them to shoot you and like ah we should just play the clip but not not
01:03:36
so weird that hold on I gotta download it again keep it weird but not so weird not so weird that
01:03:44
hey what do you want hey well you guys did not disappoint thank you so much for sending all of those in
01:03:56
because those were truly iconic I am truly obsessed yeah that was that was a really wild episode
01:04:06
incredible keep sending them in we're still gonna do them once a month and they are very beloved for us they're the
01:04:13
most the most beloved but yeah guys we love you we hope you kept listening and we hope you keep it
01:04:21
you're not so weird as any of the creek people in this set of tales and not so weird that
01:04:29
[Music]