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hey weirdos I'm Ash and I'm Elena and this is [Music] morbid this morbid morbid in the late
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late morning it's true and it's a special morbid because it's listener Tales which means it's brought to you by
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you for you from you and all about you I noticed a blister on my foot while I said that and yeah she made a weird face
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it's do you see what's going on with my foot right now yeah you've got a lot going on I could never sell feet pcks oh
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my God not that I want to not that I will but not that I will don't your minds out
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of the gutter care careful of that I've been doing this for like all day and you
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kick it over no I learned how to do little kicks little kick little flut it's like when you're learning how to
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swim we have Ottomans like we both have the same one which you never use you never use the foot stool for your foot
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no I use it as a desk yeah [ __ ] that I use my foot stol for my feet CE love to
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talk about feet today on the podcast yeah um but usually I tip mine over because I I rock around just kicks it
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over randomly at random times and it's very loud whenever I do it always goes cuz he usually knocks things over it's a
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big it's a big deal you know there's something on me but it's listener tale and Ash is going to continue picking at
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her feet I'm not picking at my feet there was something on my toe God and uh yeah it's listener tale
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stupid I don't think we have a theme for this one I think it's just like a mish MOS BOS like Oshkosh BOS exactly but
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Mish MOS BOS their overall slate and so will this listener tale there you go let's start it off
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brother are you ready ready okay all right it's listener Tales I heard you like cat ghosts I do I mean yeah I
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prefer the living cats uh but if I if all I can get is a ghost cat then yeah and if I'm going to get a ghost a cat
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might be kind of cool that's very true I agree all right let me open this bad Larry up all right this is from Chris
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Chapman and they say yes you can use my name or any other names in this story but especially the pet names because
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they are asri amazing Aster oh I'm excited to hear your pet names I'm excited too hey ashina and the rest of
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the podcast crew obviously I love you guys and your show I love the way you add levity and humor to each case the
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way that you tell us about the victims so that we can almost get to know them and the way you insult the villains that
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take them from this world too soon thank you for appreciating that thank you also
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y'all are snarky AF and I'm here for it yeah we are I'm glad you're here for it I appreciate you for taking the time to
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read this even if if it doesn't make it to the show well guess what Chris it's on the show Chris guess what antie Chris
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it's me Todd cranes and you're on the show there you go I have a lot of stories that I could share but most of
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them are fairly traumatic and I would much rather share one that might bring someone some comfort or make them smile
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although I have some stories about my dog befriending the ghost that lived in our apartment this one is about a ghost
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cat this is a pretty heartwarming story but I'm getting ahead of myself we want the other ones too yeah for context I
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said context so weird for Conta contact I am coming from the Evangelical to Witchcraft pipeline hello religious
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trauma what a pipeline that is a pipeline indeed and my mother and grandmother on her side have always been
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abusive I'm sorry I'm sorry and I'm no longer in contact with either of them good they loss however this grandmother
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says she's a witch and has always said that I was as well and that we come from a long line of witches she would say
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this with a with a level of sincer she rarely ever showed anyone and I've always taken this to Heart she's also a
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pathological liar so although the words she said and the levity in which she said them were convincing I always held
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these statements Loosely I'm obsessed with your realness like you're just like let's be honest though she was a
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pathological like she was a real one but also a pathological liar my dad's mother
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I call Nana and she is everything that is right in the world there are no witches on her side of the family but
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nana and her house were always full of love a nana I love that before I was born she had adopted two kittens one she
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named Peggy Sue Peggy Sue after a song that was popular when she was young and the other Leroy shut up Leroy and Peggy
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Su obsessed my God Peggy Su was a smart protective and Sassy Calico who would bite someone if they deserved it such as
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being racist or homophobic good for Peggy Sue also I think I know what song You're I I think I do too Peggy Su Peggy
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Su is that the who is it by I don't know that's going to bother me it's not a Buddy Holly song could be
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that's imagine that imagine that ghost was just playing while we're talking about ghost topical look at that oh it
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is Buddy Holly what look at me everybody check you out I only remembered that because my youngest you um for a time
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when she was little would only be soothed by playing Buddy Holly song M the especially the
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everyday it's getting closer she loved that that was a banger so she she had great music taste from the start so
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Peggy Sue I love it now Leroy was not the brightest cat but he was big and soft and full of love and when I was a
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kid I would find him where he was napping and lay my head on his big stomach as if he were a pillow if he
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minded me he never let me know and I'm not sure he would have even known how to bite someone Leroy was and his Spirit
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still is a big softy I love Leroy I love him the fact that you could just lay on
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him like a pillow all right oh that's Leroy everybody pour one out for L truly these cats lived happy and Charmed Lives
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having their every need and uh desire met until they died in their sleep peacefully at a very old age I was 18
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and Leroy was 19 when he died and Peggy Sue lived to be about 21 wow I was about
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20 years old their deaths their deaths were very hard for me not only because I loved them so much but I had never known
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life without them I know that always makes me so sad I know that's how the girls felt with Bubba yeah exactly
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although I knew it was naive even then some part of me had always thought that no matter what I would always have Leroy
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and Peggy Sue something tells me you always will have Peggy Su and Leroy yeah and I don't think that's naive no not at
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all Fast Forward about a decade and some change my husband our dog and I buy a house his his full name is Aussie paorn
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aie pbor you read that right this is I'm not you guys are doing it right your whole family is doing pet names right
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Aussie pawor ausborn forever oh my God I love it we named him after the iconic singer because he once snatched a wig
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right off my husband's grandmother's head and ran around their house with it and if that's not the Crazy Train I
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don't know what is yes aie mopes around the house presumably missing the apartment ghost and doesn't act in any
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way like this new to us and yet very old house is haunted we take this as a good
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sign and go on about our lives now is a good time to mention that I'm a chronically ill girly I'm sorry and that
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I live in constant pain I'm even sorry yeah I still work and I muddle through okay but about a year into the house and
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this pain has increased to nearly unbearable amounts I feel like my organs are are being ripped apart and some days
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I can barely stand oh my God I can't imagine the pain gets worse and my doctor has no idea what to do with me
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that's awful that's so scary too I drink more water and some pain relieving tea and it helps but never for long I start
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going to uh to bed the moment I get home from work and feel the familiar weight of my dog snuggling beside to give me
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Comfort my husband works nights and soon after he leaves I feel a cat jump on the
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bed and lay right down next to my dog stop we don't have a cat but honestly at this point I'm so out of it I don't even
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question it or open my eyes but this feeling of love and comfort radiates over me oh my God is this Leroy I think
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it could be I feel like it's Leroy don't look a gift horse or a gift cat in the mouth am I right this begins to happen
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every night aie sometimes shuffles around to accommodate the cat making room for him again we do not have a cat
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as my husband is very allergic my first thought is that maybe there was a cat that had lived here before and some part
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of his energy is still about the house but that doesn't seem quite right I've often heard that it's unusual for
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animals to leave ghosts behind not to mention this cat feels fam I know it I feel like it's Leroy it's Leroy after a
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few weeks of this someone asked uh asked me if I had a cat growing up and immediately I think of my sweet Nana's
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sweetest cat Leroy yes I tell him thank you for visiting me and he ignores me except for his Big Texas cat body next
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to my legs or my abdomen providing the warmth and comfort that No Ordinary Ghost can that's so precious I love it
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it's such a different feeling I know eventually I find out that I need surgery all the scar tissue in my
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abdomen and uterus is causing problems and if left alone could become cancer this should be terrifying but at this
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point I just want to be put out of my misery I'm sorry I have the surgery five scars and the surgeon notices something
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else my bladder is covered in a cystlike tissue this is an incredibly painful issue
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called intertial cystitis all right I'm going to let Google say it because I am bad at saying
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it intertial cystis I think I might have been right you were right all right well
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I'm sorry that you found out you have that it's not deadly but it is a huge pain in the organs is what they wrote
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Leroy and Aussie comfort me every day of the three weeks that it takes me to heal
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my husband does not see or sense Leroy at all even though he's off uh he's taken off work to Baby me while I
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recover once I'm Healed up for surgery I tell Leroy thank you again and I burn some catnip for his Spirit to enjoy oh
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that was so sweet my husband somehow still a skeptic laughs at me but then once the catnip his burd something falls
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off a shelf in the room I had been in as if a cat had knocked it off wow I haven't since Leroy again and Aussie
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hasn't made any space for any ghost cats in a long time but it's very comforting
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to know that I was right all those years ago when I thought I would never be without Leroy and Peggy Sue I'm sure
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she's been around a time or two giving me strength strength and Sass somehow I just know that Leroy will be back should
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I need that comfort and warmth again I may not be able to rest my head on his belly now but should I need him he will
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be back snuggling me and napping with me I'm obsessed with Leroy I love it keep it weird and definitely keep it so weird
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that when your organs hurt you are haunted by the cat of your childhood and that reminds you that you are not alone
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and the spirit of love always continues my God the spirit of your cat from your childhood I love it that was beautiful I
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love it so much and I hope you're feeling a little bit better after your surgery
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damn I seriously I'm so sorry you had to go through all that but Leroy knew that
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you needed like comfort and that time like he was like you're not feeling that great and then when surgery came he was
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like I'll help you through this and then you thanked him with catnb which is beautiful yeah and he knocked something
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off a shelf to show you that he appreciated it and that's cats and that's cats and that's on cats there's
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cats in the next listener tail too and they're so cute oh my God there's more cats and there's dogs and there's does
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oh my God dogs and cats and babies oh my God I'm obsessed he gave us the trifect
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of cute hold on I'm putting this in a in a dock so I can read it because old eyes
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McGee over here old eyes McGee my name is old eyes McGee old eyes McGee over here all right so let us see I'm making
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sure okay I can use your name say so this one is called I was just going to go right in and read it I'm [ __ ]
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wreck just raw dogging the tail doing The Listener tail this one is my aunt picked up a hitch hiding nope my aunt
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picked up a hitchhiking murderer and didn't get yeed a listener tale that's a Survivor story I love that I also love
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when you guys will put a very like dramatic story like headline and then you'll say a listener tale it's always
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like a novel you know I like it a true story makes me laugh so it says Hey weirdos and crew my name is Sam and just
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let me give all your flowers thank you for making a safe victim conscious podcast sprinkled with your beautiful
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voices dark humor and spookiness thank you thanks I started listening a few years ago and got my my man to start
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listening I always love when that happens I do too now we lovingly refer to you as the girls I love that I love
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it we've bonded over y'all and often find ourselves saying I think the girls covered this one when watching her
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listening to other true show I love that we're the girls like that's it I love it
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girls if we're in the car y'all are there with us if I'm making dinner with my son you're enthralling us both as he
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jumps along excitingly in his bouncer oh so thank you for being an unintentional
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building block in our own spooky households you bet that just made me so happy thank you for allowing us to be
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damn also your son is so [ __ ] cute I can't even handle it as a fellow paranormal magnet I have many many ghost
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stories but I don't have many true crime stories that's probably great yeah that's probably a better thing you know
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I would rather have those stories true crime stories like in my personal life yeah same then one came to mind it
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didn't happen to me but to my great aunt I asked her permission to share this her
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story but she requested her name and the name of the city not be mentioned just in case this guy gets out I'll refer to
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her as auntie and the per as the man the man I think that's a safe way to refer to them this happened in a Riverfront
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desert community on the border of California and Arizona on the Colorado River Auntie lived on the California
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side her backyard was literally the Colorado River and Arizona on the other side of the bank that's wild that is
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wild her house was on the outside of the Town normally took about 15 to 20 minutes just to drive back to the main
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Highway that cuts right through the middle of town between her house and town There's Nothing But desert
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irrigation canals and farmland it's a very long hot walk back to town from where she's located I would die in that
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scenario just that I don't need True Crime to happen in that scenario I would just die from the weather I just really
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hate being hot and me too I just really don't like it yeah first my aunt she was
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in her early 60s when this happened a short older tanned Italian Auntie who was always laughing loudly with her
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sisters and always sporting her gold rings Queen love her already Auntie was leaving her house one day and saw a
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swarm of police cars at the end of her street at a local Campground but didn't think too much of it as she headed down
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towards town she saw a man walking down the road headed the same way she was driving here's our guy always the loving
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empathetic human being she is she pulled over asked the man where he was headed and he said he was trying to get to the
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Arizona side so he could H shike to another town further north and since it wasn't that far out of the way she
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offered to give him a lift to that side of the river as she was headed in that direction and at this point our our Sam
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has three red flags on either side of ma'am and I agree ma'am ma'am her town was a common stopping place for
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hitchhikers so him telling her this wasn't too weird and he seemed pretty clean and normal something in the back
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of her mind kept telling her he it was to get a really good look at the man's face so she made sure to memorize it and
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what he was wearing smart lady yeah Auntie drove with the man and his backpack in the front seat no less and
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she face palm Emoji over the river to an area hitchhikers frequented so he could
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keep moving on he told her his name quote unquote they chatted and it was on an uneventful ride she crossed state
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lines dropped him off wished him luck and thought nothing of it insert SpongeBob narrator voice I do know this
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one one day later wow I so impressed cuz I love that narrative she's a SpongeBob gly Auntie's neighbor
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called her and told her she had missed all the excitement at the campground the day before confused she asked what
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happened her neighbor told her that someone had murdered an elderly woman in her son who was in his 50s and that the
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police were looking for a man fitting you guessed it the man's description damn Dam auntie in Limitless horror
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called the police and told them that she'd basically just helped this man cross straight lines like damn imagine
00:16:38
just being like so I'm a nice person and I might have got this person out of Dodge and didn't mean to hello 911 I
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[ __ ] up oops uh she basically helped this man cross state lines and evade capture she was terrified that she would
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be arrested for aiding a literal murderer Escape custody but thankfully she was not and gave the police all the
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information she had the was caught shortly after yes she had to testify in court in front of him o oh that's scary
00:17:05
I don't like that that they made her do that my uncle rip oh rip your uncle who was a prison guard turned baith
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accompanied her and sat right behind the man in court just in case he tried to attack my
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on yeah he was like I will [ __ ] you up try something try itfu he didn't and my uncle also avoided
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going to jail the man was tried convicted and will be eligible for parole in 2026 I like okay my G bumps I
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don't like that at all he could have easily overtaken my sweet cancer ass kicking motorcycle riding jet ski riding
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pontoon driving on if he wanted to she's the badest [ __ ] I'm obsessed I want to
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hang out with her like [ __ ] let's go on a pontoon boat hello let's go um he could have stolen her jewelry and hurt
00:17:54
or killed her that is very true she thanks the angels in her back seat for watching over her and keeping her safe
00:17:59
also for the voice in her head telling her to memorize everything about this man so she could help law enforcement
00:18:05
yeah thank goodness she did intuition yeah let's walk through the red flag shall we red flag one picking up a
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stranger in the middle of nowhere that's it that's the red flag the whole flag we're grateful she came out
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unscathed and now endures Eternal what the [ __ ] were you thinking comments from
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our family to this day bonus story auntie and I were on the phone one day and she stopped me saying hold on a
00:18:30
second Sammy and I could hear her talking to someone in the background about motorcycles and rides she's taken
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over the years she's been all over the US and Canada on her bike with my uncle she absolutely had her own bike she was
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not about to sit [ __ ] to anyone obsessed and she loved every second of it so I sat and waited Eve dropping bits
00:18:48
and pieces amongst her laughing and asking questions almost 10 minutes later she comes back and says sorry babe I had
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to talk to this guy at the stop sign I asked her why she hadn't learned her lesson from her helping a convict vict
00:19:00
Escape her response Samy he's riding a beautiful bike and he's got one arm how can I not talk to him hey you know what
00:19:07
fair enough fair so fair and that sums up my beautiful aunt in a nutshell Wild's big-hearted and wants to talk to
00:19:14
everyone trait that runs in the family that I did not inherit I won't apologize for the length I know you won't let me
00:19:21
I'll attach a news link to the crime for yall to see also including pictures of my fur babies and my actual human baby
00:19:27
boy who we tried for for over 2 years and it's the best thing I ever did amazing hell yeah if you like some
00:19:33
paranormal stories i' I'm happy to oblige I'm also a Tarot reader if yall ever want a free reading for you and
00:19:39
your team please don't hesitate to let me know no charge no strings I just love to offer my services you're a beautiful
00:19:45
person thanks for all you do and for keeping me company on many drives being in my ears while cooking dinners and
00:19:51
bonding my man and I even more oh this like really made my day keep it weird You Beautiful audio
00:19:57
Sirens wow that's the first time we've gotten that one and I like it but not so weird that you pick up a hitchhiking
00:20:04
murderer in the middle of the desert help him evade capture over state lines and then turn yourself in as an
00:20:08
unwilling wheel woman much love and all the admiration in the world Sam oh my God I love oh I love that one
00:20:17
of your uh your fur babies is named Luna Marie love good oh I love love that I also love Cleopatra Seline o Bellatrix
00:20:26
Lavo oh Bellatrix Lavo that's sick snitch Le Cornelius wow I'm obsess and Arya Arya Maisy and Arya oh my God and
00:20:36
named after Arya on Game of Thrones that's awesome oh and I'm so I'm so sad that you lost her I'm sorry oh but man
00:20:44
thank you for sharing them with us because what beautiful fur babies and real babies you have your fam is Gorge I
00:20:52
was just going to say what a gorgeous fam truly oh I love listen you little baby I just so cute he's so cute I can't
00:21:00
even he has the cutest little smile just want to Boop his little nose and squeeze
00:21:04
some cheeks I love listener tals they make me so happy I know cuz I love the pics yeah all right the next one is
00:21:11
listener Tale the story of how I met my children before they were born I love this already let me see hold on I just
00:21:18
got to scroll to open this up hello weirdos my name is Amanda yes you can use my name you can also use the other
00:21:26
names used in this story I learned about morbid through my cooworker Kirsten who
00:21:30
is one of the coolest people I know and has excellent taste in podcasts as she has suggested a few to me but morbid is
00:21:36
where it's that yeah thank you she suggested I listened to the episode where you talked about lucid dreaming
00:21:41
and the girl remembered a clock tower yes I'm obsessed with that that story is [ __ ] wild I think listener tale 85
00:21:47
listener Tales are my favorite yay truth be told I skip over the other episodes and circle back around to them later
00:21:53
however your banter with each other is what keeps me coming back you two are great thanks so much thank you for what
00:21:59
you do in making my day better when I need a mood boost I'll put on an uplifting podcast about murdering Gore
00:22:05
all right and we we Rel listener tals to make our day better exactly okay let's get into this it may seem to skip a bit
00:22:11
but it will all make sense in the end a short story before I get to the meat and
00:22:15
Poes trust me it's a WTF story that does connect to the other I met my husband in
00:22:20
Southern California after leaving my first husband in Florida I moved to be near my dad and stepmom I was 22 with a
00:22:27
2-year-old and quickly making friends friends along with a social life he was military as my ex I had a flavor what
00:22:33
can I say and so I would go and party with friends on post I met this guy and we started talking and hanging out quite
00:22:39
often he left for 2 weeks to go visit family it wasn't too serious at that point so I didn't really question the
00:22:44
wear he got back a week later and we were again at a party it was about 2: a.m. and we were drinking he looked at
00:22:50
me super serious and said hey you should call your mom who now I'm thinking dude
00:22:55
I am not going to marry you you do not need to talk to my parents so I said uh no it's 2: a.m. and she's probably
00:23:02
sleeping or something and he said no you should call her it'll be great he says this with the most charming smile yeah
00:23:09
that worked [ __ ] so I called my mom and who knew she answered she was out and about partying with her friends she's
00:23:16
loving the single life and she's recently broken up with her boyfriend of two years good for her she asked if I
00:23:20
was okay and if something was wrong my slightly drunk self said nah I'm just here with my friends and this guy wanted
00:23:26
me to call you we chatted for a few minutes catching up and he said hey let me talk to your mom and I'm thinking no
00:23:31
no no oh hell no this is not happening we'd only been talking for a few months hell no I told him laughing oh come on
00:23:39
it'll be hilarious GH again I gave in I'm not sure if it was the alcohol or the charm but he got on the phone hi
00:23:45
Rose were his first words now I had never told this guy about my family or my mom or even her name I don't like
00:23:53
that I don't like that either I quickly fell out of the chair at the table backed into a quarter and yelled who the
00:23:58
who the [ __ ] are you what the [ __ ] is going on yeah that's what I would do he's laughing and talking to my mom like
00:24:03
they were old great friends I was so lost he eventually gave the phone back to me laughing Mom what the [ __ ] is
00:24:10
going on she's cracking up on the other end of the phone and said I'll talk to you in the morning honey have a fun
00:24:15
night I'd be like no no no someone's going to tell me what's going on you need to tell me right now so turns out
00:24:22
when he went to visit his family in Northern Nevada he was showing his dad some of the people he was meeting in
00:24:27
Southern California and his dad said hold on go back to that one it was a picture of me he got up went to his room
00:24:34
got into his closet and pulled out a large picture and brought it back with him it was a picture of myself and my
00:24:39
mom from a few years back turns out that his dad was none other than the guy my mom had recently broken up with stop
00:24:47
they were together while I lived in Florida with my first husband I had never met him I'd never even seen what
00:24:52
he looked like she had mentioned that he had a son that was going into the military but that was the extent of it I
00:24:58
am now dating my almost was a stepbrother boyfriend what is going on here I guess that our families were
00:25:06
always meant to be connected because I ended up pregnant shortly after this incident happened let me tell you how
00:25:11
awkward our wedding was lol it's amazing that's incredible now that all that has finally been said
00:25:18
let's get to the reason why you're reading this my kids okay so it was the spring of 2006 and I was 4 months
00:25:23
pregnant with my second child my oldest who was now 3 years old at this time would tell me that a fireman would come
00:25:29
to his room sometimes through his window that's delightful kids scare the [ __ ]
00:25:34
out of me one morning I went to wake him up and found his glass light fixture on
00:25:38
the floor you know the ones that look like a lit up boob what it's on and the one the one with the glass stone with a
00:25:44
screw in the middle it was sitting on the floor with the screw in the bll side of the glass if it fell down wouldn't
00:25:50
the screw bounce off somewhere you'd think I thought that was very strange but the three-year-old totally believed
00:25:54
the firemen did it so it was okay a few weeks later I was cleaning my kitchen and I leaned my broom against the
00:26:01
counter to get the dust pan in the other room and I came back to my broom being 3
00:26:05
ft away from the counter literally standing up on the bristles alone what that would I just got chills yeah that
00:26:11
would freak me out I took a video of it on my old ass camera but it's been lost over time anyway a few weird things
00:26:17
happened and I started to get suspicious that this place might be haunted but me
00:26:22
I was too tired and too pregnant to care at this point I heard that my boyfriend
00:26:26
had to go away on business trips for a few days and while he was gone my son got to sleep with me in our big bed one
00:26:31
night while we were sleeping it was a full moon so a little light was shining through my window in the middle of the
00:26:36
night I was facing the wall while my son slept behind me on the other side of the
00:26:39
bed I woke up to this feeling of being stared at I slowly opened my eyes and saw my son standing next to my bed with
00:26:46
his little arm on my nightstand and his hand propping up his head just chilling looking at me in his soft loving gaze he
00:26:53
did not take his eyes off of me he had Shaggy dirty blonde hair and was wearing what looked like an oversized baby blue
00:26:59
t-shirt that almost reached his knees finally I became aware enough but not close to fully awake to realized that my
00:27:06
kid was up in the middle of the night I said hey Spud what are you doing up why don't you come back and lay down as I
00:27:12
was about to say down I padded the bed behind me as a motion for him to come over here only to realize that my son
00:27:19
was sleeping soundly in the bed under the covers huh I patted him a few times to make sure that it was really him it
00:27:26
was as I realized this turned back toward the side of the bed to see this other child gone this was not my son oh
00:27:33
my my son has dark brown hair and was wearing red and black pajamas that were pants in a shirt not a baby blue
00:27:40
oversized t-shirt I was shooketh to say the least my pregnant ass did not sleep the rest of the night not much happened
00:27:47
after that all was normal my son was born a few we a few months later we were car shopping and I apparently went into
00:27:53
labor I didn't want to go on a test drive because I was feeling off needless to say my boyfriend had to cut his fun
00:27:58
short and take me to the hospital oops 4 hours later 9 and 1/2 lb of bouncing baby boy was in my arms fast forward 3
00:28:06
years and my now three-year-old is hanging out in the kitchen with me talking helping me make dinner I walked
00:28:11
back to where he was after retrieving a dish from the cabinet and froze in my tracks I dropped the dish to the ground
00:28:17
and said it's you in total and utter shock he stared at me like I had gone crazy but just smiled at me I was
00:28:24
staring at my three-year-old son he was in an oversized blue t-shirt of his older brothers he had the Shaggy blonde
00:28:31
hair and was the spitting image of the little boy that came to visit me that night a few years back my son came my
00:28:39
son came to see me before he was born I walked over to him and gave him the biggest hug with tears in my eyes fast
00:28:46
forward one year and his dad and I ended up pregnant again however I lost this little angel at about 12 weeks Sor sorry
00:28:53
it was the most horrific thing I had ever experienced and I would not wish it upon my worst enemy me either we ended
00:28:58
up divorcing in 2010 and I ended up a single mom of two boys we were doing great and thriving just the three of us
00:29:04
in 2012 we went on vacation of Venice Beach in California and I randomly went to see a psychic just for fun I had
00:29:11
never done that before and it was 20 bucks so why the hell not what's the Worst That Could Happen she told me that
00:29:16
I would have three children now at this point I am very single and do not plan on having any more children my first was
00:29:22
10 lb and my second was almost as much I was not going to put my body through that nonsense again my boys were also 6
00:29:29
and 10 at this point I explained that I miscarried a few years back and could that be what she was talking about she
00:29:34
said oh no you will have three children I was like great I really wanted to hear
00:29:39
something that was realistic what a waste of money fast forward again four years in 2016 I know we time travel in
00:29:45
here I reconnected with my now boyfriend after about 6 years of it being just me
00:29:50
and my two boys I never thought much about having more kids he and I have been together for eight long years now
00:29:55
at this time we dated in high school before my first husband who was my boyfriend my senior year wow I love that
00:30:01
2 years into this relationship I began having dreams about twin girls this was I guess what you would call a lucid
00:30:07
dream the very first dream I was pregnant with them very pregnant I knew I had two girls on my belly it was
00:30:13
interesting to have this sensation as I had not been pregnant for 10 years I woke up and told my boyfriend about this
00:30:19
dream and he just laughed I did too that would be [ __ ] crazy my oldest is 16 and almost the age I was when I had him
00:30:26
hell to the [ __ ] no a few weeks later I had another dream this time these same
00:30:31
two girls were in my arms in the delivery room wrapped in their tiny little blankets and beanies I had just
00:30:36
given birth to two twin girls I loved them I cried with joy and woke up crying with the remnants of feelings for my
00:30:43
dream I told my boyfriend and he thought it was cool that I had another dream but
00:30:46
we still didn't think having more kids would be a great thing at our age we were both in our late 30s at this point
00:30:52
so we just laughed it off and went on with our Day in 2018 I [ __ ] ended up pregnant I almost died of shock I almost
00:30:59
murdered him lol I'm too old for this [ __ ] I was going to school fulltime working 12-hour days had my two boys
00:31:06
plus his 17-year-old daughter in the house what the [ __ ] were we thinking my personal beliefs in abortion were to not
00:31:12
have one and so here we were late 30s and [ __ ] pregnant fun fact did you know that if you're 35 or older it's
00:31:19
considered a geriatric pregnancy so ni what a make what a way to make a woman feel good about herself eh get this girl
00:31:25
a walker yeah it's like [ __ ] that thing to say a geriatric pregnancy together we
00:31:31
had eight children at this time from our previous relationship seven boys and one
00:31:35
girl age ranging from 17 to six oh my God I told my boyfriend if this was going to be another boy I would murder
00:31:42
him if I'm going to go through this it a damn well better be a girl I of course would have loved it either way but Jesus
00:31:48
another boy LOL I continued to have these dreams the next one was the two girls about 3
00:31:54
months old laying on the ground next to each other matching onesies and short sensory toys all around them while I was
00:32:00
on my belly playing with them they were always simple dreams but I always felt so much love in them being of Granny age
00:32:06
apparently and having this so-called geriatric pregnancy we got to find out what we were having quite early I was at
00:32:12
work and got the call to tell me what we were having I walked outside and video calleded my boyfriend it's a girl he
00:32:18
dropped to the phone and started to cry I'm sure it was because he knew he did good and would live and would Live
00:32:23
Another Day a girl [ __ ] is it twins slight Panic started to set in with the excitement of having a girl his daughter
00:32:30
had only lived with us for a few months at this point so the idea of being a girl mom was still new to me the next
00:32:35
dream I had was the two girls at the point where they were learning to walk about 9 months or so wild they were
00:32:41
standing and falling on their bottoms multiple times laughing smiling I felt my heart swell with such pride In This
00:32:47
Moment in my dream my girls only this time this dream was different I learned their names Autumn and Olivia I love
00:32:54
those nam I know those are really pretty Autumn had the light uh lighter dirty blonde hair and Olivia had light brown
00:33:00
hair they were playing with their toys and having the best time I had such joy and pride in my heart that I never
00:33:05
wanted to wake up oh my God you're like such a mom I love it I know the next dream was when they were about 2 years
00:33:11
old they were getting ready for bed and I was tucking them in for the night and their cute little pink and white pajamas
00:33:16
tucked in together I sat and watched them cuddle with each other as they fell asleep the last dream I still think
00:33:22
about to this day because it was the last dream I had of them together the two girls were about 5 years old at this
00:33:27
point their hair was close to waist length and curly identical length just different shades dark blonde light brown
00:33:34
they both wore what looked like Easter dresses or something you would wear to church we were walking along a path in a
00:33:39
park I only saw the back of them in this dream which I thought was weird but it was still so beautiful there was freshly
00:33:45
cut grass to the left and large developed trees to the right large enough to provide scattered shading for
00:33:50
the path utumn and Olivia were walking in front of me holding each other's hands and talking about whatever
00:33:55
5-year-old sisters talk about they were happy and seemed excited for something we were going somewhere I didn't want to
00:34:01
leave this moment but alas the alarm clock called and it was time to get up for work oh my God this is like
00:34:07
beautiful it is the next week I had my daughter beautiful 9B Olivia rain oh that's such a pretty name I love it but
00:34:14
this is not where the story ends oh no on to the next chapter insert creepy page turning now I have experienced many
00:34:23
different happenings over time my family's so used to weird [ __ ] happening that when it does we don't think much of
00:34:27
of it but that's for another tale ever since my daughter has been born there has been peculiar happening specifically
00:34:33
to her we have cameras in her room and a baby monitor because yes I am extra with
00:34:38
her safety I feel that one night when she was about 2 years old we heard her on the monitor but then there was
00:34:43
another voice she was being disturbed and began to whine then you hear a yeah that sounds slightly frustrated and then
00:34:50
she says no oh another time she's dead asleep and then you hear get up in the same voice her leg has been pulled so
00:34:57
hard that her her whole body has been moved multiple times and orbs are a regular occurrence I will throw [ __ ]
00:35:04
hands with this whoever the [ __ ] doing this the [ __ ] all of this is captured on
00:35:08
video along with a weird dude dressed in 70s style cord corduroy and a very colorful silk shirt I think he's a
00:35:17
jokester a weird shadow lady that likes to stalk my boyfriend when he sleeps and
00:35:21
my precious cat Luna that we had to put down two weeks before Olivia was born these are our resident ghosts we now
00:35:28
have a child ghost because these voices are of a child a young child I've attached the videos for you to see and
00:35:36
are welcome to share the audio if you wish [ __ ] I've never run so fast to these videos at the end of the day I
00:35:42
like to believe that utus here God help us with a teenage daughter and a teenage
00:35:46
ghost daughter if that's the case I would also like to believe that Autumn is the baby I lost all those years ago
00:35:51
and that she's with me in this way and finally I would like to believe that I had those dreams because they were of
00:35:56
her bringing Olivia to to me I got to experience being Autumn's mother and experience all those joyful Milestones
00:36:02
even in a dream I love that I have also attached pictures of my beautiful children because I'm completely biased
00:36:08
and I think they're the most gorgeous creatures on the planet and my cat Luna who still comes to visit occasionally
00:36:13
thank you for taking the time to read this I know that there will be a slew of people who would [ __ ] their pants if
00:36:17
this story was read I will be sure to have extra pants ready just in case Amanda God what a story and we have the
00:36:25
video my God your kids are so cute my Trifecta of perfection she put on one of the photos I love it oh okay I
00:36:34
got it it's somebody saying get up get up well that's [ __ ] spooky that's so creepy damn that's wild that's a crazy
00:36:46
story it was also like so beautiful that I that gave me all the emotions it really did every bit of them I really
00:36:53
hope the ghost child is Autumn cuz otherwise I'm scared I know cuz otherwise I'm like who is that cuz I was
00:36:58
ready to like throw hands so yeah me too sorry I won't throw hands without him no definitely not but like I thought it
00:37:04
was somebody bugging your kids's go yeah exactly your kids are also so adorable they really are all right let's see let
00:37:12
us see let's see I really want to do this one that says resubmission of my listener tale
00:37:20
because oh my God I forgot I'm a direct descendant of the last woman on trial for witchcraft in Virginia I really
00:37:25
think that was put in there specifically for you yeah I'm just like excuse me w w
00:37:31
let's see it says I am resubmitting my listener Tale the time I found out the identity of the ghost who had nightly
00:37:37
playdates with my 2-year-old son because how could I forget ghosts and kids is the theme I was just going to say we
00:37:43
have a theme I'm a direct ascendant of Grace Sherwood The Witch of Pungo who was the last woman who was put on trial
00:37:48
for witchcraft my many times great-grandmother was the last woman in Virginia to be put on trial and
00:37:54
convicted of Witchcraft she faced trial by water placed in water to see if she would
00:37:59
float which of course she did because duh so the sheriff tied a 133b Bible around her neck and threw her back in
00:38:06
the water oh my God she was able to untie herself because she is a badass she was imprisoned and once released
00:38:14
returned to her Farm where she lived until her death at 80 years old here now stands a statue of Grace in the middle
00:38:19
of Virginia Beach Virginia what if you look into her she may be a per I was just going to say you might have just
00:38:25
given us a perfect story and I will absolutely give you credit and it's literally almost spooky season yeah
00:38:30
clearly I come from a long line of spooky witches hell yeah so at any rate here's my 14-point font PFA tale of the
00:38:36
time I found out the identity of a ghost who was having nightly playdates with my
00:38:39
two-year-old son damn stay spooky ladies we will you you stay spooky hey Ashen Elena my name is Cindy and you can use
00:38:48
my name I'm originally from California but left when I was in my 20s and have lived in several other places as an
00:38:54
adult it will make sense why I mention this I promise I found your podcast late last year and was instantly hooked
00:39:00
because your interactions in banter remind me of my best cous friend cous friend cousin best friend Stephanie back
00:39:06
in California I love you bches because you never failed to either have me crying laughing or yelling hell yeah the
00:39:13
way you tell difficult stories in a way that honors the victims and tell it like
00:39:17
it is you [ __ ] ass hat for you rat bastards who murdered them is epic thank you I love that I'm a big fan and have
00:39:23
found comfort in listening to your podcast from time to time okay all freaking time I currently live in the
00:39:29
south us and parttime in France the country but my husband with my husband no I can't speak French those two years
00:39:36
of French in high school have done nothing to help me communicate here so I spend most of my time listening to your
00:39:41
podcast while learning a bit of French on the side because priorities them all right I've always loved stories related
00:39:47
to ghosts and haunted places and eagerly sign up for ghost tours in Old cities same I've never had a personal ghost
00:39:54
encounter until I was in my late 20s when my friend Alissa not her real name and I were in Phoenix Arizona for a
00:40:00
girl's weekend there I had a face-to-face encounter in the middle of the night in our hotel room with little
00:40:05
glowing curly blond-headed girl who was staring at me from behind the curtain she had pulled slightly back with her
00:40:11
little glow stick hand this freaked me the F out so I forced myself to Blink a couple times just to be sure I wasn't
00:40:20
dreaming nope glow stick was still staring at me I turned to look at Alyssa's bed and whispered her name in a
00:40:25
shaky voice the was dark except for the glow of ghosty girl which provided enough light for me to see a Lissa in
00:40:32
her bed and she the covers up over her head where I heard her muffled voice say I know something is here but I'm not
00:40:37
taking the covers from my over my face oh cool cool cool no worries I thought I'll just chill out over here with glow
00:40:42
stick girl literal inches from my bed as I slowly turned my head back towards the
00:40:47
window I was 100% sure this little glow [ __ ] would be right by my bed with the
00:40:51
smile smile on her face I'm happy to report she was gone but I digress I love this little glow [ __ ] now before I delve
00:40:59
into the story of the time I found out the identity of the ghost who was having nightly playdates with my 2-year-old son
00:41:04
let me give you a little background I adopted my son from Russia wow you're amazing that is incredible when he was
00:41:10
just under two years old talk about a wild Tale But that is another story for another time we lived in New Hampshire
00:41:16
then about 40 minutes north of Boston uh and I loved loved loved New England I should mention our house was brand new
00:41:23
so while I understood the entire region offers homes that come with a ghost or two or 10 I didn't expect to have any
00:41:29
ghostly encounters one and done I'll take my doses of ghostes in the form of movies and stories I'll pass on the
00:41:36
interactive inperson in ghost I no show thank you very much anywh who when he first came home my son of course being
00:41:43
two and from Russia didn't have many words he could say but he was the happiest little guy he was always
00:41:49
smiling and babbling happily as he played with his toys in the living room or zipping around after our dog he also
00:41:55
loved Thomas the Tank Engine that theme song is etched in my brain and still gives me the eye twitch when I hear it
00:42:02
and ran at lightning speed from morning until night after he had been home for almost a year he was able to say many
00:42:08
words in English words including the names of family and his favorite toy an elephant stuffy called Horton oh that's
00:42:14
adorable one night after putting him in his crib I kissed my son's forehead tucked him in walked out of his room and
00:42:20
closed the door as I started to walk away I heard him begin to babble I thought it was strange because he hadn't
00:42:25
babbled for quite some time but he sound it happy so I didn't think much of it and went back downstairs this became a
00:42:31
nightly thing and very quickly I noticed he started to pause in the middle of the
00:42:34
Babbling almost like he was having a conversation with someone he would Babble pause for a bit and then start
00:42:40
babbling again as if in response this sequent H sequence happened for several months the first time I heard this pause
00:42:46
I felt the thonk in my chest because it the war yeah because it really seemed like he
00:42:54
was interacting with someone my already overactive imagin went into overdrive because I've seen horror movies I was
00:43:00
absolutely sure that there was a crazed lunatic with a red balloon hiding in my son's closet and came out soon after I
00:43:06
closed the door I listened intently at the door but didn't hear anyone else in the room so I calmed my ass down chocked
00:43:12
it up to him playing with Horton and Elsa myself down the stairs to just let it go that's a mom yep now as I mentioned
00:43:21
this became a nightly thing and I came to embrace it it was calming to hear how content he sounded because let's face it
00:43:27
the first almost two years of his life were extremely difficult and unimaginable and to be perfectly honest
00:43:32
a [ __ ] show he never asked to be dealt the shitty hand of cards he had been dealt at the beginning of his life and
00:43:38
but now he was thriving and happy and content and that's all that mattered you're a good mom you are one night
00:43:43
however something about the Babbling changed it was different that night after I kissed my son good night covered
00:43:48
him with his blanket and made sure Horton was tuck securely in the crook of his arm I left the room I waited outside
00:43:54
his door for his nightly Babble sash to begin with than a few seconds he began the babble but as I mentioned it was
00:44:00
different it sounded like he greeted someone who came into the room paused for a few seconds mixed with rustling
00:44:06
noises and then he started to giggle hysterically like babies and toddlers do when they're interacting with someone
00:44:11
they're playing with the exchange went on like this for several minutes as I stood outside his door my ear plastered
00:44:17
to the wooden panels and my eyes the size of saucers with the Babbling SES continuing in the strange Cadence
00:44:24
sprinkled with the rustling I could feel all the Color Run from my face as my chest went thonk thonk yes just like the
00:44:31
Law and Order sound now sensible me knew there was no one in the room with him but overactive
00:44:37
imagination me was fighting for control of the situation in a move [ __ ] get out
00:44:41
the way kind of way I put my hand on the knob and as I started to turn it the room suddenly became silent I peaked my
00:44:49
head around the door and couldn't see anything out of the ordinary my son was sitting in his crib with his legs
00:44:54
crossed smiling directly ahead of him at his eye level yeah okay that was creepy
00:44:58
as [ __ ] hearing me he turned his head to the door and greeted me in the same manner I had heard a few minutes prior
00:45:04
shudder swon he stood up with Horton still in his tiny little death grip I picked him up to give him a few more
00:45:10
snuggles and kisses allowing ample time for my eyes to scan every inch of the room before putting him back in his crib
00:45:15
for the night for the second time that night I closed the door and stood there ear plastered to the wooden panels for
00:45:21
what felt like five business days listening intently but it was completely silent and remained so for the next
00:45:27
several days about a week later we were in the kitchen and my son started crying
00:45:31
which was not like him at all I picked him up and asked him what was wrong though through his tears he said want
00:45:37
grandpa so I thought he missed his grandpa it was strange because he didn't use the word grandpa rather my son
00:45:43
called his grandpa pop pop but I thought maybe he had heard the word used on Thomas the Tank and hey that he must out
00:45:50
be absolutely brilliant to make that connection but oh no cont mon FR he hadn't heard it on the show and little
00:45:58
did I know what I was in store for what was in store for me also look at me over
00:46:02
here speaking French woot so we got him on the phone with pop pop and this was not what he wanted he
00:46:09
did happily speak with pop pop for a bit but when we were off the phone he started crying again for Grandpa I
00:46:15
thought perhaps he actually wasn't saying Grandpa at all and was really wanting something else for days my son
00:46:20
would endlessly cry for Grandpa and I would endlessly try to give him anything I thought he meant son crying Grandpa
00:46:26
you're swe here's a graham cracker not it son Grandpa here's Grover nope son Grandpa here's a YouTube video for us to
00:46:34
learn the Gangam Style dance you're like Alexa that just that just conjured a Furrow brow in a toddler
00:46:42
side eye notada weeks went by for with my son crying for Grandpa and me having absolutely no idea what he was talking
00:46:50
about then one day we were in the seldom used formal living room my son stopped to look at a table where I had a
00:46:56
collection of framed Family Photos suddenly his face lit up he pointed and exclaimed Grandpa of course there was a
00:47:03
photo of pop pop so I pointed and says yes that's Grandpa my son looked at me with an expression that clearly
00:47:09
demonstrated I knew absolutely nothing Jon Snow pushing my hand aside and excitedly pointed out a photo way in the
00:47:17
back of the table saying Grandpa ladies when I tell you my soul yeed the F right out of my body that
00:47:24
doesn't even begin to fully explain what I was feeling that moment for my son was
00:47:28
pointing at a picture of my father who had passed away suddenly 17 years prior at just 402 years old oh my whole body
00:47:35
just wmed chilling up and down my [ __ ] body right now holy [ __ ] only this photo was not of my father at
00:47:44
Grandpa age of course or even middle-aged dad age from 17 years prior oh no no no not even a little bit no
00:47:52
this photo was from my dad when he was about 6 years old oh my God exactly shout out Ash I love the way you say it
00:48:00
and have now started to pronounce that t and it makes me feel Regal as [ __ ] that's the thing it you get it it's
00:48:06
regal bab it makes me feel Regal as [ __ ] exactly but in that moment I was hit with a full understanding of what had
00:48:14
been going on nightly in my son's room the ghost of my deceased father's six-year-old former self had been coming
00:48:20
into my son's room to play with him at night are you crying I'm about to cry I heard I heard a lump in your throat I
00:48:26
sudden felt relief that it wasn't a red balloon yielding psychopath all all along mixed with happiness that my son
00:48:33
was able to interact with the grandpa he never met mixed with a sudden urge to laugh hysterically at the thought of a
00:48:38
2-year-old calling a six-year-old grandpa I smiled at my son pointed at the picture he was now holding in a
00:48:46
death grip Horton was on the floor at his feet and said grandpa and my son smiled broadly and said grandpa oh my
00:48:53
God he placed the picture back on the table but in the front this time from now on he would walk by it often stop
00:49:00
look at it and then walk away my son never had any late night babbling sessiones again and he never cried for
00:49:06
Grandpa more than a decade and a half later he has now lost the memory of that time but loves when I tell him the story
00:49:12
because he's a ghost loving weirdo like his momy during the freaking awful Russian
00:49:18
adoption process and when my son was first home I often wondered to my family what my dad would think of his rushing
00:49:25
grandson my dad was in the air Air Force and used to intercept Russian Morse code
00:49:29
messages wow after this moment I knew he was thrilled he was able to meet and play with this awesome little kiddo I
00:49:35
was a bit sad that the visit stopped but was glad they did have some sort of bonding time however ghostly it was wow
00:49:42
I thank you if you're still reading and if you read it on listener Tales I will absolutely pee my pants feel free to
00:49:47
shorten it as needed nope won't do it never I've attached the photo of my six-year-old dad a photo of my little
00:49:52
cherub then and one of us now as well as because a a picture of our best boy Teddy a purebred Golden retreater oh
00:49:59
that's no typo you read that right he's afraid of everything I love that he's not a retriever he's a retreater I love
00:50:05
it I will continue to be a faithful listener to the podcast and I'm waiting impatiently for your second book to come
00:50:11
out Elena it's coming it's coming so soon it's coming and congratulations on your wedding Ash I love you ladies and
00:50:17
remember to keep it weird and take it away Ash I think you should keep it so weird that the ghost of your father
00:50:23
visits your new son as a [ __ ] six-year-old yes keep it so weird that you're a six-year-old grandpa in ghostly
00:50:30
form yes I love it so much wow all the pictures you sent are so beautiful that story made me so happy your dog is
00:50:39
beautiful oh my god look how adorable your son is and the B and the dad a little gun in his holster he's like a
00:50:47
little cowboy God stop and I just love that that's like he's like that's grandpa oh my God I love clearly that is
00:50:53
Grandpa also can we just have a moment for your built-ins because I'm obsessed I'm really into built-in lately
00:50:59
my God the picture of you holding your son when he was little like you love him so much and I love that so much WoW
00:51:06
families are so beautiful I love that you gave this little boy such a good home I know that's so lovely all right I
00:51:12
think we've got time for one more I think so let's see here listener tale that time I robbed a man with my grandpa
00:51:20
whoops or my grandma sorry whoops whoops hi Ash Elena and the whole morbid crew I'm Hannah attach as a 14 double spaced
00:51:28
ptia feel free to use my name and all others in my story I've sent a couple others before appach encrypted College
00:51:34
Witchcraft and attempted murder and have tons of more stories I could send this is by far the funniest of my tales and
00:51:40
could be a good pallette cleanser love that I love you ladies and I've been listening for about a year I used to
00:51:45
listen on 1.2 times speed since my brain requires information at a mindboggling pace but I was running out of episodes
00:51:51
too quickly and I switched to onetime speed show slow it down how much I love you since I refuse to do that for
00:51:57
literally anyone else I'll stop the fangirling here since my story is pretty long but just know that I Adore You Two
00:52:03
Saucy sorceres I'm obsessed I love her the word grandma evokes images of a gentle
00:52:10
woman in a well-loved apron pulling fresh baked cookies out of the oven she always insists you take a few for the
00:52:16
road and she's somehow even sweeter than the cookies themselves oh my God I love
00:52:20
it her women her wisdom her women her women her wisdom always answers your toughest questions and soothes your
00:52:27
deepest fears every time you visit you're wrapped in the warm hug of her familiar perfume she's a beacon of
00:52:32
tranquility and morality I did not have one of those grandmas I want you to picture a 410 80
00:52:40
lb 80-year-old in a cheetah print sweatsuit and bright red lipstick that's literally my future I hope I want to be
00:52:49
someone's Nana in a leopard print suit sweatsuit with bright pink or red lipstick love so much already she was
00:52:55
named Kitty yeah she was after all and thought it fitting to always wear some kind of cat
00:53:00
print she's living her massive designer purse was filled to the brim with nicotine gum and Cold Hard Cash instead
00:53:08
of the typical caramel hard candies I'm [ __ ] obsessed y'all can have your your other Grandma I want a kitty I love
00:53:18
this woman Kitty is an ion we bonded not over Family Recipes but girls trips to the mall where she'd
00:53:25
slip me a bed for and tell me to get whatever my heart desired what a great lady she was the cool girl my nerdy
00:53:31
chunky vaguely misshapen Middle School self would have never drumpt of befriending we seemed like an unlikely
00:53:36
du Duo her being little Miss Florida and me despising all things Sandy sunny and
00:53:41
summery same I knew she wanted me to grow into a little diva just like her but she'd never make me feel bad for
00:53:46
spending my hundred bucks on books and art supplies instead of clothes and makeup she was effortlessly Flawless her
00:53:52
entire life and regaled me with stories of her many suitors however she told me just as many tales of her education
00:53:58
career and perseverance she was one of the very first women into the US in the US to attend pharmacy school and she
00:54:04
went just because someone told her she couldn't that woman had a Lust For Life inspired by Spite she suffered her first
00:54:10
heart attack in her early 30s and had close to a dozen in the Years following but she made a full recovery each time
00:54:16
cigarette in hand without a care in the world Kitty was the very definition of can't get rid of me [ __ ] I learned all
00:54:23
my swears from her both in English and Yiddish she always had the hot Goss but the maturity to spread it without
00:54:29
demeaning anyone involved she did not have the maturity to abstain from making fart noises and pretending that my
00:54:34
grandfather was the culprit I love this woman her spirit is everywhere her parenting techniques were a bit
00:54:41
unorthodox even for the 60s and 70s I do not condone most of them but they make great stories and my dad seemed to turn
00:54:48
out okay once when he was in kindergarten he sat in a muddy puddle on the way to school so Kitty would have to
00:54:53
take him home and change she said well now it looks like [ __ ] yourself and sent
00:54:57
him to class as a mouthy teenager my dad made the mistake of calling her a [ __ ] he
00:55:03
immediately realized his error and turned to flee but she chased him upstairs on all fours as if possessed by
00:55:09
a rabid Badger grabbed his ankle and bit it what Kitty what Kitty what is going on
00:55:19
so when I Kitty's first and only granddaughter was born my dad was hesitant to leave us alone together you
00:55:25
know what I can't really blame your child on that one however having a baby girl around seemed to bring out her
00:55:31
gentler side each time my family made the trip to floor I'm just I cannot get the image of her running up the stairs
00:55:38
on all fours and biting your father's ankle like is this hereditary I love it so much each time
00:55:47
my family made the trip to Florida she and I were inseparable and my dad started to relax his supervision this is
00:55:53
how we ended up Alone Together the day this story occurred she needed to pick up from some groceries for dinner pursue
00:55:59
the makeup aisle or peruse the makeup she wanted to pursue the makeup peruse the makeup aisle and find some new he
00:56:07
heels to match her pedicure so we head it to Target while I stared cluelessly at the endless wall of beige beige gloop
00:56:13
and sparkly powder that somehow cost $20 an item she ranted to me about the new uh nuisances nuisances of Aging everyone
00:56:21
acts like I'm dumb and cranky she said I might be cranky but I'm not [ __ ] stupid she went on to tell me about how
00:56:28
not just scam callers but everyone takes ad advantage of the elderly true doctors
00:56:33
and Dentists get away with providing subpar treatment companies rely on older people's lack of tech savviness to
00:56:38
overcharge the list goes on but Kitty had her [ __ ] in order and always knew when someone wasn't being entirely
00:56:44
truthful I saw a little glimmer in her eye and immediately knew she was scheming wordlessly she took my hand
00:56:50
abandoned her cart and marched me toward the exit the wall of florid to heat hit
00:56:54
us like a truck the air d suffocating as it crawled to my lungs she made a beine
00:56:59
for the the Verizon store whispering to me they tried to double charge my phone bill last month [ __ ] I Knew by her
00:57:06
tone that she had resolved to leave that Verizon store a little richer see Kitty
00:57:11
realized that aging had a silver lining who's going to talk back or call the cops on a distraught old lady that's
00:57:15
true relevant to this story is the fact that I really really needed to [ __ ] like
00:57:21
prairie dogging it the entire time my tactic was to focus on a point in space and clench every muscle in my body I
00:57:28
look relevant to this story about 75% of my brain power was devoted to clenching
00:57:33
and I wasn't fully present for the following misdeeds due to the alarm Bells coming from my bowels now back to
00:57:39
the story as we approached the store her demeanor changed completely she managed
00:57:43
to make her 410 frame look even smaller slowed her Pace to a crawl and started walking with a slight limp clutching my
00:57:50
shoulder for support tears welled in her big brown eyes she was a force for mischief and deceit armed with nothing
00:57:58
but Oscar level acting she hobbled straight to the front of the line and shouted I need to talk to someone right
00:58:04
now I was mortified as she as she subverted every rule about manners that I had ever learned an
00:58:12
employee calmly responded ma'am the line starts back there we'll be able to see you soon she was not having it no way
00:58:18
you criminals think you can steal from us Kitty was in fact the criminal in this
00:58:24
situation I want to speak to the manager of this establishment this instant after pulling the ultimate Caren
00:58:32
we were quickly ushered to a corner desk to talk to an employee we made quite the
00:58:36
pair me walking like a robot eyes fixed in front of me jock ledge trying not to [ __ ] my pants and her holding on to me
00:58:44
hobbling and on the verge of tears a frazzled looking man sat across from us in his desk chair while Kitty and I sat
00:58:51
on stools as he opened his mouth she interjected how do you expect an old woman to sit on these painful metal
00:58:56
stools I can feel the bones in my tus I'll end up with bruises he apologized and said that she was welcome
00:59:04
to stand he had pressed an incorrect key I was just going to say my guy really stand I'm 93 lies and I've had two hip
00:59:14
replacements more lies and you want me to stand I know it just came to me he sheepishly apologized and wheeled his
00:59:23
own chair from behind his desk and Tra did it for Kitty stool I was in awe so ma'am I can tell you're very upset how
00:59:30
can we fix that I was expecting her to bring up the attempted double charge from last month but she instead
00:59:36
completely fabricated a brand new story she began my internet wasn't working last week so I called this Branch to
00:59:43
send someone to fix it I waited for hours and nobody came then two big men showed up in a Verizon van after Sunset
00:59:51
tears were streaming down her face and she brought her shaky hands up to wipe them as Verizon stores are not usually
00:59:58
places where people receive devastating news the workers scrambled to find tissues but came up empty-handed she
01:00:06
looked at him and whimpered you don't even have a tissue for me well I guess this will do and pulled I [ __ ] you not a
01:00:14
roll of toilet paper from her purse placed it on the desk and began tearing off pieces to wipe her eyes this is the
01:00:24
funniest [ __ ] she would later claim to me that she keeps an emergency roll on hand in case the public bathroom toilet
01:00:30
paper isn't soft enough for her fragile princess butthole I'm going to start doing that I've learned a lot from Kitty
01:00:36
in this story so what happened with these men the worker asked apparently Kitty hadn't
01:00:43
thought this far ahead so she instead turned up the Waterworks and wailed full volume the poor man looked like a parent
01:00:50
trying to quiet an infant on a plane okay okay please be quiet I'm so sorry ma'am please ma'am he frantically
01:00:57
stuttered instead of toning it down she took it up a notch I can't believe you'd
01:01:02
even ask me to tell you the horrors do you know I have a bad heart not a lie this time but why would he know that
01:01:10
that could explode any second before he could respond she lunged forward grabbing the poor man's
01:01:18
hand feel my pacemaker feel my pacemaker oh my god with ridiculous old lady strength she wrenched his hand toward
01:01:27
her chest as he cowered in fear pulling back his arm with all his might this of course dragged 80 lb Kitty out of the
01:01:34
chair and onto the desk she leaned into this and flailed legs in the air kicking
01:01:38
and crying while screaming get off me you par oh my God Kitty she's so reckless K Kitty is
01:01:48
so reckless Kitty [ __ ] invented Reckless Kitty is just wow wow Kitty I need you to step back and picture this
01:01:59
for a moment this does not look good for the employee there was a there was a small old lady beached on
01:02:07
his desk mascara snot running down her face toilet paper now on the floor and unrolling across the store while she was
01:02:16
the one holding his wrist nobody else could see that from behind the dividers between each desk it would appear to
01:02:23
anyone else that he had made the first Contact my God most of the customers had left to escape this chaos and not a
01:02:30
single other employee was willing to step into the map damn that poor guy the only witness to the entire thing was me
01:02:36
the silent awkward 11-year-old who sat through the entire encounter staring into space like the ghost of a Victorian
01:02:43
child sweating profusely veins in her forehead popping out from the effort of not
01:02:48
pooping he finally escaped her grasp and looked at kitty in horror she silently pushed herself off the desk slowly
01:02:55
limped to the other side of the store and retrieved her toilet paper of course she returned and began rerolling it
01:03:01
absent-mindedly saying you know I can't use this anymore I bet y'all don't even clean your floors wow dumbfounded he let
01:03:09
out a defeated sigh and asked what do you want me to do he's like please help this was clearly the question that kitty
01:03:16
had been waiting for I want a full refund confusion flashed across the employees face and I could tell he
01:03:22
wanted to scream a refund for what but I'm sure he didn't want to risk any other feel my pacemaker moments so he
01:03:29
simply replied okay she followed her original request up with in cash now it was the man who looked like
01:03:37
he wanted to cry ma'am we can't do that maybe we can wave next month's payment but no that was not good enough for
01:03:44
Kitty I see a register right there with dismay on his face he tried to explain that without a transaction he couldn't
01:03:51
open the register Kitty gearing up for another scene started yelling you scammers and was quickly cut off by the
01:03:59
poor man saying wait wait please he then reached out and he then reached in his back pocket for his own [ __ ]
01:04:08
wallet somehow knew that it was going to come to this I'm obsessed handed Kitty a
01:04:13
lot of cash without even counting it he's like just take it satisfied she promptly stood up cash in hand and
01:04:18
limped toward the exit I sat there in shock did she just [ __ ] rob this man was I an accomplice you sure were were
01:04:24
we both going to end up up in jail maybe my 11-year-old's brain with half-baked cognitive skills thought I was going to
01:04:31
be expelled from middle school and thrown into some federal prison I sheepishly whispered sorry to the man
01:04:38
and hurried after Kitty shuffling awkwardly like a penguin while taking the tiniest possible steps to ensure
01:04:44
that the log didn't enter my pants Kitty was already outside and had resumed her
01:04:49
normal gate counting her Loot and looking very proud of herself she saw the look in my eye and said exasperated
01:04:55
they tried to double charge me last month remember the gravity of the situation hadn't yet hit me and my priorities were
01:05:02
still on the feal matter bobbing bobbing for apples and I'm not okay my priorities were
01:05:11
still on the feal matter bobbing for apples in my day of the week underwear so I accepted this justification and
01:05:18
headed for the car my God no police ever showed up looking for us I think that man was just glad to have her out of the
01:05:24
store and didn't want to explain why an 80-year-old woman had called him a pervert in the end he only lost about 60
01:05:30
bucks I thought Kitty would be disappointed with the small sum of money but she was so focused on on reveling in
01:05:36
the Newfound perks of old age she was satisfied to know that every time someone tried to scam her she could scam
01:05:42
them right back without consequences yeah she could after that day I was no longer allowed unsupervised time with
01:05:48
Kitty my dad and her got into a heated argument as she bragged about her exploits immediately Upon returning home
01:05:54
the conversation ended with my Dad saying Jesus [ __ ] Christ mom and her responding with Jesus Christ Ain't My
01:06:00
Savior Kitty KY I occasionally woman she's a g she is such a g she is an original
01:06:12
Gangsta I occasionally think of the man she robbed that day I hope the memory brings him some amusement and not the
01:06:18
level of trauma that being robbed at gunpoint would oh my God feelings of guilt bubble up as I know I did nothing
01:06:25
to stop instead sat there creepily staring swe and completely rigid but what the [ __ ]
01:06:30
was I supposed to do [ __ ] myself trying to intervene a kitty ended up passing about
01:06:36
5 years later in 2019 thankfully before all of the pandemic craziness ensued it was hard to lose the only cool girl who
01:06:44
ever made me feel welcome but I'm sure she's having a grand old time causing chaos in the great beyond oh hell yeah
01:06:50
Kitty may not have been the wholesome grandmother plucked from a Hallmark movie but she was something better
01:06:54
boldness harness and bravery molded into human form she was simultaneously my guardian angel and the devil on my
01:07:01
shoulder always there to wipe my tears when I sobbed to her about my middle school tormentors but just as quick to
01:07:07
tell me to [ __ ] them up hell yeah so that's the story of the time I robbed a man with my grandpa with my grandma keep
01:07:14
it weird but not so weird that you try to get a Verizon employee to grow up your pacemaker while your granddaughter
01:07:18
sweats through her clothes trying not to [ __ ] herself but do keep it so weird that you make her feel special and cool
01:07:23
even though she doesn't share your interest and Empower her to pursue to her passions okay bye hope you enjoyed
01:07:28
we [ __ ] did Hannah that Hannah that was what a [ __ ] tale every Grandma should be a kitty what a [ __ ] tale
01:07:38
that was Kitty for [ __ ] ever I am just I'm without words I love her with every fiber of my being that was
01:07:48
unbelievable that was fantastic one of the best Tales we've ever read holy [ __ ]
01:07:54
that was phenomenal like wow wow obsessed damn well oh you guys really know how to send that was
01:08:05
incredible that was a fun spooky and hilarious one yeah love love love yeah we'll give you some dark ones next time
01:08:12
well our next time will be our Halloween Halloween installment so if you have a good
01:08:19
Halloween listener tale send it to morbid podcast gmail.com with listenertale somewhere in the subject
01:08:25
line and insert the word Halloween so we can find it easily yeah we hope that you
01:08:30
keep listening and we hope you keep it weird but not so weird that you're not cuddled by a ghost cat not so weird that
01:08:38
your aunt picks up a hitchhiker but doesn't get murdered I guess maybe keep it that weird because then she didn't
01:08:42
get murdered definitely keep it so weird that you dream about your children before they're born because that's just
01:08:46
[ __ ] cool and oh oh wait keep it so weird that you haunt your grandchild as your former six-year-old self and for
01:08:55
the love of everything awesome in this world keep it so weird that you are a kitty I love kitty so
01:09:03
much okay bye [Music] oh