00:00:00
flaw.
00:00:00
>> All right, where are we?
00:00:02
Hey, what?
00:00:04
Where are we? We're in the pod lab.
00:00:05
We're going to record this. [laughter]
00:00:07
That's a legit question. I'm so tired.
00:00:09
You just said Why'd she say where are
00:00:12
we? Where are we?
00:00:13
>> We're in the pod [laughter] lab. Put
00:00:16
that in somewhere. That's funny.
00:00:26
Hey weirdos, I'm Miranda.
00:00:29
>> [laughter]
00:00:30
>> And I'm Coraline Jones.
00:00:33
That [laughter] was so deeply upsetting.
00:00:36
And that's all.
00:00:37
Just kidding. It's morbid.
00:00:39
>> [laughter and gasps]
00:00:40
>> It's morbid. Can you do that again?
00:00:42
I don't want you to, but I also want you
00:00:44
to.
00:00:45
>> I'm Coraline Jones. I said it with a
00:00:47
good accent the first time.
00:00:49
>> Yeah, the Um, that's crazy. Yeah. Oh,
00:00:52
you're going to be like pleathering all
00:00:53
over the place, I just realized.
00:00:56
ASMR.
00:00:59
Can't believe she's wearing pleather.
00:01:00
[laughter]
00:01:01
In fall of 2025. Listen, it's raining,
00:01:04
okay?
00:01:05
>> That's not in my newest
00:01:05
>> It's raining? Not in my newest print
00:01:07
here. I don't give a [ __ ]
00:01:09
I'm Coraline Jones, [ __ ]
00:01:11
>> like
00:01:12
>> [laughter]
00:01:15
>> Hello.
00:01:16
I was going to say, nice cerulean hair.
00:01:19
>> [snorts]
00:01:19
>> It's blue. [laughter]
00:01:21
It's not just blue. You're not my mom.
00:01:24
Okay. [laughter]
00:01:25
I'm your other mother. My Or as my
00:01:28
youngest would say, the other mother.
00:01:29
>> The other mother. Uh, hey.
00:01:31
>> [laughter]
00:01:31
>> We both got really bad sleep scores last
00:01:33
night on our aura rings, so this is
00:01:35
going to be good. Is that It really is.
00:01:37
But, here we are. Coraline Jones
00:01:40
and [laughter] Miranda Priestly. Which
00:01:42
also, I didn't even plan this to be as
00:01:44
topical as it is. You originally were
00:01:47
going to be somebody else.
00:01:48
>> Yeah, which I'm going to be next week.
00:01:49
And I'm going to pivot, yeah, to be
00:01:51
something even funnier. Yep. Um, but I
00:01:54
said to Elena before we got started
00:01:56
here, I said I've never felt more like
00:01:59
[laughter] myself.
00:02:00
>> I looked over at Ash and I just was like
00:02:02
something about this works. Like, I
00:02:04
think everything about this works.
00:02:06
>> Thank you. I just looked over and I was
00:02:07
like, that's right. Yeah, that's
00:02:09
correct. I feel great right now.
00:02:11
>> As you should.
00:02:12
>> I don't know that I'd ever get this
00:02:13
haircut. I'm not saying it's a bad
00:02:14
haircut. It's I just Maybe you will.
00:02:17
You don't know. I don't know. Who knows
00:02:19
the future? Not
00:02:20
>> You know, cuz you look great.
00:02:21
>> Thank you.
00:02:22
>> So. Thank you. It would be a lot to
00:02:23
style this haircut [laughter] every day,
00:02:25
I feel. That's how you Then you get
00:02:27
older and you get it styled. Oh, yes,
00:02:29
yes.
00:02:30
>> That's your luxury. Oh, god, I can't
00:02:31
wait for that luxury. We say all the
00:02:33
time we should start doing that.
00:02:34
>> I would love to do Well, you know why?
00:02:36
Cuz we have [clears throat] to redo your
00:02:37
listener tales, and that's important,
00:02:39
too. Because listener tales are brought
00:02:41
to you by Wait, should I do it in
00:02:43
Miranda Priestly voice?
00:02:44
>> Yes. Brought to you by you, for you,
00:02:47
from you, and all about you. That's all.
00:02:50
That's all.
00:02:52
I love saying that. I used to There was
00:02:54
a girl on my softball team, and her and
00:02:55
I would do that all the time.
00:02:56
>> That's all. That's all. That's all. I
00:02:58
love when you say
00:03:00
It's outside.
00:03:01
>> Softball is played outside, correct?
00:03:03
>> Yeah.
00:03:04
I mean, yeah, for sure. I like when he
00:03:06
says, um, you've become an incubus of
00:03:08
viral plague. I say that all the time.
00:03:11
>> Yeah. Anytime one of my kids gets sick,
00:03:13
I'm like, uh, you're an incubus of viral
00:03:15
plague.
00:03:16
I need to rewatch The Devil Wears Prada.
00:03:18
I haven't seen it in forever.
00:03:19
>> Yeah, cuz the new one is being filmed,
00:03:20
isn't it? I think it's done. Oh, it's
00:03:22
done?
00:03:23
>> a mini tr- It's not
00:03:24
People say the trailer came out. Sorry,
00:03:26
my glove broke and I'm upset about it.
00:03:28
Um
00:03:29
It's really like a teaser.
00:03:31
I haven't even seen the teaser.
00:03:32
>> I haven't either. I just heard that it
00:03:33
came out. [laughter]
00:03:34
Maybe it's a lie. It's not. They watched
00:03:37
it on Sup, and I was listening. It's
00:03:38
not.
00:03:39
>> [laughter]
00:03:40
>> I heard it on Sup, it's real.
00:03:41
>> Sup said it's real, okay?
00:03:42
>> Sup said it's real, so it's real.
00:03:43
>> believe Carrie and Lara.
00:03:45
>> Yeah, we do. We do. I need to
00:03:47
Hold on.
00:03:48
Thank you. You're welcome.
00:03:51
That's [laughter] all. All right, so
00:03:52
should I start?
00:03:53
>> Yeah. Let's start. Start
00:03:54
>> with a listener tale. How about that? I
00:03:57
think that's the best way to start.
00:03:58
>> So, this one's called The Chained Man,
00:04:00
and shut the [ __ ] up, Ash. You're a
00:04:02
Gemini, so of course it's always about
00:04:04
you. How do I know? Because I'm a
00:04:05
Gemini, too. I was offended when I first
00:04:08
started reading this. I was like, wow,
00:04:09
is this hate mail? And then I was like,
00:04:10
oh, you, too? Okay.
00:04:11
>> Imagine if it was just like The Chained
00:04:12
Man, and shut the [ __ ] up, Ash. Yeah.
00:04:15
I'd fight you. Yeah. Oh my god, thank
00:04:17
you.
00:04:17
>> I would.
00:04:17
>> Elena would fight you. I would. You guys
00:04:19
think that Well, not you guys, but some
00:04:21
people think that Elena is mean to me,
00:04:22
but if anybody's actually mean to me,
00:04:24
she'll pummel them.
00:04:25
>> Yeah, I'll kill you.
00:04:25
>> Helga Pataki.
00:04:26
>> Hello.
00:04:27
That would be such a good listener tales
00:04:29
costume.
00:04:30
>> Helga Pataki.
00:04:31
>> yeah.
00:04:32
I'm storing that in my vault. In the
00:04:34
vault. Yep, in the vault. Listen to The
00:04:37
Rewatcher. All right, please listen to
00:04:39
it. It's unhinged and hilarious.
00:04:42
Sorry.
00:04:42
>> Ew.
00:04:44
On me? [cough and clears throat]
00:04:46
You're an incubus of a plague.
00:04:48
>> I am an incubus of viral plague.
00:04:50
Let me start with, yes, use my name. I
00:04:53
will have a literal heart attack when,
00:04:55
not if, I hear it on the pod. Good thing
00:04:57
both my kiddo and husband know CPR.
00:04:59
>> [laughter]
00:05:01
>> Like we said, no sleep scores.
00:05:04
Hello.
00:05:05
>> [laughter]
00:05:05
>> It says that. It says, "Haha." That's
00:05:08
It's actually lowercase, though.
00:05:09
>> [laughter]
00:05:10
>> I took it as that.
00:05:13
The girl. What?
00:05:15
>> That's how I read it.
00:05:16
Get your butts ready, because here's the
00:05:18
smoke.
00:05:20
That's what it says.
00:05:22
>> [laughter]
00:05:22
>> I know how I'm
00:05:23
reading it.
00:05:24
>> [clears throat]
00:05:25
>> Thank you for making my
00:05:27
>> [laughter]
00:05:28
>> Is it because you're dressed like a
00:05:29
little kid that you're like absolutely
00:05:32
[ __ ] unhinged? [laughter]
00:05:33
Maybe. [gasps]
00:05:34
You're just like, "LOL." It's past my
00:05:37
bedtime.
00:05:38
>> [laughter]
00:05:38
>> It is past my bedtime. I need a nap.
00:05:42
It is past my bedtime right now. I got a
00:05:44
bad sleep score.
00:05:46
>> [laughter]
00:05:47
>> It says, "Thank you," in all capital
00:05:50
letters.
00:05:50
>> You're welcome.
00:05:51
for making my hour-long commute way more
00:05:53
enjoyable. But I have to not listen to
00:05:55
the episodes I really want to listen to,
00:05:57
because my 13-year-old is in the car
00:05:59
with me. I love your podcast so much,
00:06:01
and that's coming from someone who has
00:06:02
been anti-podcast for years.
00:06:04
>> Anti-podcast?
00:06:05
>> Well, for my Due to my inability to
00:06:07
maintain focus on anything longer than
00:06:09
30 seconds. Thanks, ADHD.
00:06:11
>> Relatable. My sister introduced me to
00:06:13
you with a story from my home state, New
00:06:15
Mexico. And now all I want to talk about
00:06:17
It's all I want to talk about. No,
00:06:18
you're all I want to talk about.
00:06:19
[laughter]
00:06:21
I can't.
00:06:24
Don't even edit any of this. I would
00:06:25
just leave this crazy [laughter] [ __ ]
00:06:27
in. Leave it all in. Leave it
00:06:31
in.
00:06:31
Um, but
00:06:33
>> [laughter]
00:06:33
>> My
00:06:34
My kid just turned around and literally
00:06:36
went
00:06:38
Did [laughter] I do something bad? No,
00:06:40
you didn't. She's just [ __ ] crazy
00:06:42
right now. I'm a feral [snorts] child.
00:06:44
[laughter]
00:06:44
>> You didn't do that. It was adorable.
00:06:45
>> Um, did I do something bad?
00:06:47
Anti-podcast, [snorts]
00:06:49
ADHD,
00:06:51
>> New Mexico.
00:06:52
>> And now you're all I want to talk about.
00:06:53
I can't because I work with kids, but
00:06:55
you're all my husband hears about now.
00:06:57
And based on the few stories I read from
00:06:59
New Mexico, yes, we have a ton of
00:07:01
flushed pedestrians, chupacabras, both
00:07:03
of which I've seen, and tons of ghosts.
00:07:05
We are super haunted state. Come visit.
00:07:07
Just don't whistle. I won't. Did you
00:07:10
know about that?
00:07:11
Isn't that in the Appalachians, too?
00:07:13
Yeah, I think that's everywhere. I just
00:07:15
think whistling is
00:07:16
[ __ ] up.
00:07:17
>> I hate whistling.
00:07:18
>> You know? I'm not somebody who really
00:07:20
whistles. Drew loves to whistle.
00:07:22
>> I love to whistle, actually.
00:07:23
>> like whistling. I had a boss that had a
00:07:25
whistle. It was like, it sounds really
00:07:27
awful, but it was like necessary if like
00:07:29
we were in another If I was in another
00:07:30
part of the salon, he had to whistle to
00:07:32
get my attention. But now when I
00:07:34
whistle, I'm like, "What?" Like when I
00:07:36
hear a whistle. I love to whistle, but I
00:07:38
won't do it in the Appalachians or in
00:07:39
New Mexico. Do you know I don't even
00:07:41
know if I've ever heard you whistle? No,
00:07:42
I'm not calling you out saying you don't
00:07:44
whistle.
00:07:46
That was a good whistle. I can do an out
00:07:49
whistle
00:07:50
or an in whistle. Oh, see, I can only do
00:07:53
an in whistle.
00:07:55
But out?
00:07:57
>> [whistles]
00:07:58
>> My out is way
00:07:59
way better. My in is the only one that
00:08:01
works. That's the only one I got.
00:08:03
[laughter] That's all I got.
00:08:04
I got one whistle.
00:08:06
>> and that's it.
00:08:07
Um, Ash, Geminis are always the center
00:08:09
of attention, so shoulder shrug. Heck
00:08:11
and shame. Oh, well, for everyone else,
00:08:13
we're the coolest. Yeah, we [ __ ] are.
00:08:15
That's right. Whatever. Elena, I'm also
00:08:18
very short. Good job. 5 foot [laughter]
00:08:20
and proud.
00:08:21
Good job. Says the Capricorn. 5 foot and
00:08:24
proud. And if I ever get tired of
00:08:25
teaching, currently I'm teaching fifth
00:08:27
grade, and I'm a CPR instructor. I want
00:08:29
to go to school for mortuary sciences.
00:08:30
All right, you're
00:08:31
>> You're pretty [ __ ] cool. See? All
00:08:32
right,
00:08:32
>> [snorts]
00:08:32
>> you're pretty [ __ ] cool.
00:08:33
>> That's a win for both of us.
00:08:34
>> Anyways, I've included a 14-point
00:08:36
double-spaced portfolio, a picture of my
00:08:38
sons on Halloween, and a picture of my
00:08:39
family when I was a baby. I want to
00:08:41
start by saying that my mom was the most
00:08:42
beautiful and kind person you could
00:08:44
meet. She made and kept friends wherever
00:08:46
she went. It's been almost 20 years
00:08:49
since she passed, and her photo is still
00:08:51
hanging up in the office she worked at.
00:08:52
>> Aw. Her best friend basically acts as my
00:08:54
mom now, and she's also supportive and
00:08:56
amazing. But she isn't going to be part
00:08:58
of this story.
00:08:59
Will she be part of the next one?
00:09:01
>> Maybe. My mom was special, and I don't
00:09:03
mean that as in, she's my mommy, so of
00:09:05
course she is special, but she had an
00:09:07
electric quality to her. She had this
00:09:09
radiating energy that people felt. She
00:09:11
drew people towards her.
00:09:14
Touch, he said.
00:09:16
You know what he said before we began
00:09:17
recording? It was actually so weird.
00:09:19
>> I got up and went to look at the thing,
00:09:21
and as I turned around, he said,
00:09:22
"Younger." And like, Elena looks
00:09:24
younger.
00:09:26
In case you didn't get that.
00:09:28
Wow.
00:09:29
Oh, he's crazy. It was weird. [laughter]
00:09:31
Imagine if he was like, "Old bitch," to
00:09:33
me.
00:09:35
>> I love it. Which was extra funny because
00:09:37
she rebuilt computers for low-income
00:09:39
kids in her free time. This was the late
00:09:41
'90s, so no need to worry much about the
00:09:43
internet. Bading bading. Ee ee ee ee
00:09:47
>> [laughter]
00:09:50
>> I knew exactly what that was.
00:09:51
>> Oh my god, and that shows our age
00:09:53
difference, because this is That's
00:09:54
literally the reason I made you read
00:09:56
this.
00:09:56
>> Bading bading.
00:09:58
What's the biding biding?
00:10:01
Like before it started.
00:10:04
When I first read this, I was like, I
00:10:06
don't know what that means, but I know
00:10:07
Elena will, so that's why I forced you
00:10:08
to read this.
00:10:12
We are one.
00:10:13
Also, I don't wait, I don't know your
00:10:14
name.
00:10:16
Oh, yeah. Probably says at the end.
00:10:18
Hold on a minute. It's our new system
00:10:20
cuz we're like putting these on the TV
00:10:21
so we can read them. We're figuring it
00:10:24
out.
00:10:25
Oh, Rose. Such a pretty name.
00:10:28
But that's a beautiful name. Rose. I
00:10:30
freaking love you.
00:10:32
I freaking love you. Another important
00:10:35
fact about her electric quality was that
00:10:37
anytime she left the house after dark,
00:10:38
the street lights would turn off when
00:10:40
she drove under them and then turn back
00:10:42
on once she had passed.
00:10:44
She was interdimensional. [ __ ] yeah, she
00:10:46
was. And while it may seem random, my
00:10:48
mom's favorite jeans had a strip of
00:10:50
piano key fabric down the side of one
00:10:52
leg. We have no pictures of my mom in
00:10:53
these pants. Remember this.
00:10:56
I'm interested. You've hooked me. You
00:10:58
got me with the piano pants. I got to
00:10:59
tell you. You hooked me with those piano
00:11:00
pants and the street lights. Yeah, the
00:11:02
street light I mean Yeah. And the
00:11:03
interdimensional.
00:11:05
You just really got me.
00:11:07
You got me, Rose. Yeah. She was also
00:11:09
followed by number 23 to be specific.
00:11:11
She was born on the 23rd, died on the
00:11:13
23rd, had two 10s and three 1s in her
00:11:15
wallet when she died. Her social added
00:11:17
up to 23 and she found some mathematical
00:11:20
equation to make her name Belen add up
00:11:22
to 23. Isn't that crazy? That's also a
00:11:25
cool name. Yeah. I will try to make it
00:11:27
short, but I know you won't care.
00:11:29
This starts when my mom was a kid, so I
00:11:31
don't remember every detail I was told,
00:11:33
but I remember enough to still get the
00:11:35
chills when I think about it. I almost
00:11:37
burst. I'm [clears throat] sorry,
00:11:37
everybody.
00:11:38
My mom
00:11:39
>> [laughter]
00:11:40
>> My mom grew up in a very haunted house
00:11:42
in downtown Santa Fe, New Mexico. We
00:11:44
found out that the woman who had
00:11:45
originally owned the home murdered her
00:11:48
two children and hung their bodies on
00:11:50
the porch Yeah. before killing herself
00:11:53
after she had learned her husband had
00:11:55
died in war. That's like hella tragic.
00:11:59
That's [ __ ] up. It's really [ __ ] up.
00:12:01
The little boy was killed in the bathtub
00:12:03
and would frequently climb out of the
00:12:06
horse? Like war?
00:12:09
War [laughter] horse? Yeah, sure.
00:12:12
You guys just get each other. Yeah, we
00:12:13
do. Me and Nicholas forever. He would
00:12:15
frequently climb out of the bathtub to
00:12:17
flush the toilet. Like in the afterlife.
00:12:20
Yeah, and would playfully chase my uncle
00:12:21
around the house and then hide from him.
00:12:23
My uncle is 12 years younger than my mom
00:12:25
and did not realize this boy was a ghost
00:12:27
until he was much older. Well, that's so
00:12:29
[ __ ] spooky. We don't know exactly
00:12:31
where the girl was killed, but my mom
00:12:33
slept in her room for years. My mom
00:12:35
would have a dream of a man chained in
00:12:37
her closet.
00:12:40
Ew.
00:12:42
My mom would wake up in her dream to his
00:12:44
moans
00:12:45
and she would get out of bed, feed him,
00:12:48
bathe him, and keep him company until
00:12:51
morning when it was time to really wake
00:12:53
up.
00:12:54
Huh.
00:12:56
That's something.
00:12:59
Where are you looking?
00:13:01
Anywhere but there.
00:13:02
>> [laughter]
00:13:03
>> Anywhere but
00:13:04
Anywhere but there. What the [ __ ]
00:13:06
That's wild. Okay. My mom never told me
00:13:10
if she asked why he was chained
00:13:11
[laughter] up. I mean, that's valid. But
00:13:14
she didn't need to know. She never
00:13:16
really felt threatened by him. I'm going
00:13:17
to be honest with you. My first question
00:13:19
to him would be
00:13:21
How'd you find yourself in this
00:13:22
predicament, sir? Yeah, that's You got
00:13:24
to ask the hard-hitting questions.
00:13:26
>> [laughter]
00:13:26
>> Those are important questions. She
00:13:29
didn't feel threatened, though. She said
00:13:30
during these years she was exhausted and
00:13:32
felt like she was actually awake during
00:13:33
these dreams. After years of caring for
00:13:35
him
00:13:37
he asked my mom if she could unlock the
00:13:39
chains because he had earned her trust.
00:13:42
She did. No. In turn he [snorts] locked
00:13:45
her in the chains.
00:13:47
[ __ ] And until she had moved out of the
00:13:49
house, she would wake up in her dream to
00:13:51
the sound of her own moans
00:13:54
and chained in the closet.
00:13:56
So she would
00:13:57
wake up
00:13:59
chained in the closet kind of, but not
00:14:02
and also in her bed hearing herself in
00:14:05
the closet.
00:14:07
I
00:14:09
hate that. you wake up to a man chained
00:14:12
in your closet moaning Call the police.
00:14:15
First First ask him, "Sir, how did you
00:14:17
find yourself in this predicament?"
00:14:19
actually secondly after you call the
00:14:21
police. This feels like a pickle, sir.
00:14:23
How'd you get into it? Yeah. And then
00:14:26
then go from there.
00:14:27
You know, go from there.
00:14:29
You call the police.
00:14:31
Every time I had to go to this home, I
00:14:33
couldn't sleep. I [ __ ] wonder why.
00:14:35
>> [laughter]
00:14:36
>> Thankfully, my grandma sold it long
00:14:38
before I stopped talking to her for
00:14:39
offering me $500 to get an abortion.
00:14:42
That's [ __ ] up. Damn. I am not
00:14:45
anti-abortion, but I am anti let me tell
00:14:47
you what to do, which is all my
00:14:49
grandmother does. [laughter] Tell your
00:14:50
grandma to [ __ ] off. It's true. Anyhoo,
00:14:53
weird things for my mom didn't end It
00:14:55
didn't end there. She had seen numerous
00:14:56
ghosts throughout her lifetime, but the
00:14:58
chain man still gives me chills. Yeah,
00:14:59
me too. Yeah. My mom was diagnosed with
00:15:02
breast cancer when I was in sixth grade.
00:15:04
That's awful. I'm sorry. Went into
00:15:06
remission and then diagnosed with bone
00:15:07
cancer on my first day of freshman year
00:15:09
in August of 2003. Which also 2003.
00:15:13
Yeah.
00:15:13
Two and three. She had to stop working
00:15:15
and became miserable [clears throat]
00:15:16
even though she hid it from my sisters
00:15:18
and I
00:15:19
as best she could. Her sister decided to
00:15:21
take her to Hawaii for 2 weeks in
00:15:22
November 2003 because my mom was born
00:15:25
there, but had not been back since she
00:15:26
was two. Literally exact same. You're
00:15:28
like, "Girly."
00:15:30
When they were on their way back with a
00:15:32
pit stop in LA because that's where my
00:15:34
aunt lived.
00:15:35
I wonder if that's LA or Louisiana.
00:15:38
I don't know. I don't know. Probably LA
00:15:40
because that's on the way back from Oh,
00:15:42
true. My mom took a fall on the plane
00:15:44
and had to be rushed to the ER. They
00:15:45
found that the cancer had spread to her
00:15:47
brain. My grandmother flew me out to LA
00:15:49
to say goodbye. That's so sad. That's so
00:15:52
sad. During the time I was there, my mom
00:15:55
slowly became less and less aware as her
00:15:57
body deteriorated and shut down. During
00:15:59
this time, she said she could see a gold
00:16:01
light coming from the other side of the
00:16:02
wall. She felt its warmth and she wanted
00:16:04
to get closer to the person the light
00:16:06
was radiated from. She also kept talking
00:16:08
to the empty chairs. She would say
00:16:10
things to them as if she could see all
00:16:11
her children as babies sitting there
00:16:13
bathing in the gold light and waiting
00:16:15
for her to make her journey to the other
00:16:17
side. I have such like chill like a not
00:16:19
even chills like the warm.
00:16:22
Oh. Isn't it crazy? Like do you You
00:16:24
follow those like nurses on uh Tik
00:16:27
like hospice nurses? And they all say
00:16:29
the same things. Like There's such a
00:16:32
progression of when somebody is dying
00:16:34
and like everybody like across the board
00:16:37
talks to things that you can't see.
00:16:40
people that aren't there. But it's like
00:16:42
they're clearly having actual
00:16:43
conversations. And it's like across the
00:16:46
board. And a lot of times it's like
00:16:48
people who have died. Oh, yeah. Oh,
00:16:50
yeah. It's weird. There's something.
00:16:51
There's something. The very last time
00:16:53
she was lucid, she looked at me and
00:16:54
said, "I love you, sweetie." She passed
00:16:56
away a few hours later. I was 14. That's
00:16:59
also First of all, I'm so sorry that you
00:17:01
lost your mom at such a young age. And
00:17:02
that's also the crazy part of when
00:17:04
people pass is they'll go into these
00:17:06
moments where like lucid completely.
00:17:08
They're completely lucid after just
00:17:10
being somewhere else entirely.
00:17:13
It's so crazy. When I was 16, I had one
00:17:15
of my best friends, Xstina, read
00:17:17
Christina, spend the night. We had
00:17:19
decided to invite another one of our
00:17:21
friends because she was a little
00:17:22
depressed and we wanted to be there for
00:17:23
her. Let's call her Luna. Aw, that's a
00:17:25
cool name. I like that name. We were
00:17:27
hanging out in my room listening to
00:17:28
music, eating snacks, and giggling over
00:17:30
boys. Those were the days. Luna got the
00:17:32
sudden urge to go out to the kitchen and
00:17:33
get some water. She said it had to be in
00:17:36
a glass and it had to be from the
00:17:37
fridge. We love a girl who knows what
00:17:39
she wants. Hydration is important. When
00:17:41
she came back and she didn't have water
00:17:43
and her face was white. She said there's
00:17:45
a woman in the living room who wanted to
00:17:46
see me.
00:17:47
I feel like uh what? like that's a no
00:17:49
for me. Yeah. We walked out there
00:17:51
cautiously because the only other person
00:17:53
home was my dad and he had been asleep
00:17:54
for hours at this point. We walked into
00:17:56
the empty living room and Luna then
00:17:58
realizes that she is looking at the
00:17:59
ghost of my mother. She said her long
00:18:01
brown hair was resting on the chair she
00:18:03
was sitting in and her jeans had piano
00:18:05
keys on them. Because remember, there
00:18:07
was no picture with the piano key jeans.
00:18:10
Yeah, so that was such a specific
00:18:11
detail. I immediately started crying as
00:18:13
Luna repeats the words I have held dear
00:18:16
and close to my heart, "I love you,
00:18:17
sweetie." She then says, "Look for the
00:18:19
number." Oh, [ __ ] Luna becomes quiet as
00:18:22
I
00:18:24
He's hiding, he just said.
00:18:26
It's really not nice to ruin a
00:18:28
sentimental moment like that. That's
00:18:30
wild. That's a little reckless. That's
00:18:32
wild. It's a little reckless, in fact.
00:18:33
Wow. Um but question, who's hiding?
00:18:36
Nicholas. He said that last time, too.
00:18:38
Yeah, who is like something of similar
00:18:40
Yeah, you're right, he did. Yeah. Who is
00:18:42
it? I have palo santo this room so many
00:18:44
times. to do it again. Yeah. Luna
00:18:46
becomes quiet as I softly sob. It was
00:18:49
probably actually a loud ugly cry. After
00:18:51
a few minutes, Luna then looks around
00:18:52
and asks why we're in the living room.
00:18:54
We tell her everything that happened and
00:18:55
she has no memory of any of it. That's
00:18:58
[ __ ] crazy. remember wanting water in
00:19:00
a glass from the fridge, the only thing
00:19:01
my mother ever drank. Oh, [ __ ] Wow. A
00:19:05
few years passed and now I am 19 and
00:19:07
pregnant. On my drive over to tell my
00:19:09
father the news, every single car that
00:19:11
passed me had a 23 on their license
00:19:13
plate. My goosebumps will not go away.
00:19:16
Now every time I have big news, passing
00:19:18
my GED test, getting divorced from my
00:19:20
very first my first son's dad, getting
00:19:22
married to my current husband, getting
00:19:23
pregnant again, graduating college,
00:19:25
becoming a teacher.
00:19:26
What about us? I know. Okay,
00:19:28
accomplishments, mama. I see 23
00:19:30
constantly. This has also happened when
00:19:32
I have had big bad news. My father died
00:19:35
of liver failure in 2015. I'm sorry.
00:19:37
When we got his ashes back, his ashes
00:19:39
tag was 5873.
00:19:41
5 + 8 + 7 + 3 is you guessed it, 23. Is
00:19:46
this my mother telling me that she's
00:19:47
there and still supporting me from the
00:19:49
afterlife? Yes, it is.
00:19:51
The morning after my father died, a
00:19:53
friend of mine called me crying. She
00:19:54
said she had a dream of two women
00:19:56
carrying my father's soul away. Ooh, I
00:19:58
got a chill. She described my mother and
00:20:00
my paternal grandmother perfectly, even
00:20:03
though she had never seen a picture of
00:20:04
either of them.
00:20:06
If I'm driving and feeling nervous
00:20:07
because it's a big DUI party night or
00:20:09
something just feels off, streetlights
00:20:11
will turn off. The night The night that
00:20:13
streetlights don't turn off, I will not
00:20:16
cannot keep driving. And numerous times
00:20:18
there have been near fatal or near fatal
00:20:21
accidents near a route I would have been
00:20:22
driving. That's crazy.
00:20:23
>> I have numerous small stories like this
00:20:25
and thank my mother every single time.
00:20:27
My kids have both giggled uncontrollably
00:20:29
at her photos like they play with her
00:20:31
often and know she is with a was a big
00:20:34
goofball and only wanted people to be
00:20:36
happy.
00:20:36
>> Aw.
00:20:37
>> I guess I will end this now by saying
00:20:38
keep it weird, but not so weird that
00:20:40
you're a creepy ghost man in chains in a
00:20:41
young girl's closet. Earn her trust and
00:20:43
then lock her in the chains when she
00:20:45
frees you. But also do keep it so weird
00:20:47
that you send your children signs as a
00:20:48
ghost and make your grandbabies laugh
00:20:50
uncontrollably even though you never got
00:20:52
to meet them.
00:20:52
>> Aw.
00:20:53
>> Rose. That's a crazy and beautiful
00:20:57
story.
00:20:57
>> That was unbelievable. That was
00:20:59
terrifying and really beautiful.
00:21:01
>> And touching, yeah.
00:21:02
>> it.
00:21:02
>> That hit like every
00:21:03
>> Damn.
00:21:04
>> Every one. That hit every bone in my
00:21:06
bod. And hit all of my all of my body
00:21:10
that is just made of bones. I loved it.
00:21:12
All right, my next one is listener tale,
00:21:15
that time that I pissed on a rapist
00:21:17
MacBook Pro.
00:21:18
I'm in. I'm obsessed.
00:21:19
>> I'm in. Good afternoon, spooky sisters.
00:21:22
>> Good afternoon.
00:21:22
>> Literally perfect because it is
00:21:24
afternoon. It is.
00:21:25
>> Please find my double-spaced 14-point
00:21:27
PDF attached. I adore y'all and hope you
00:21:29
enjoy this tale. Please pick me, Deb
00:21:31
Deb.
00:21:31
>> She did.
00:21:32
>> She did.
00:21:33
Hello, my lovely witches. My name is Sam
00:21:35
and my pronouns are she, her, and hers.
00:21:37
Thank you.
00:21:38
>> Sam.
00:21:38
>> Hello, Sam. You can use my name because
00:21:40
there are a billion Sams out there. You
00:21:42
can use the other names in this story
00:21:44
because one of them also has a super
00:21:45
common name like mine. I actually
00:21:47
married someone with the same name as
00:21:48
his. Haha. Haha.
00:21:50
>> a long time listener, maybe like 3
00:21:52
years, I don't know. But I was with
00:21:53
y'all underwater if you know what I
00:21:55
mean.
00:21:55
>> Hell yeah. That's a that's a true blue.
00:21:58
Yeah. Uh I'm writing from Elena's
00:22:00
favorite place in the world, Nola.
00:22:02
>> Nola.
00:22:03
>> We love to hear it.
00:22:04
>> Nawlins.
00:22:05
>> Here comes the gushy mushy love. I truly
00:22:07
adore y'all. Elena, I read your book in
00:22:09
like 2 days.
00:22:10
>> Aw, thank you.
00:22:11
>> It was so incredible. The twist.
00:22:13
>> The twist.
00:22:14
>> I was mind-blown emoji. Aw, I love it.
00:22:16
>> Same, that's a great [ __ ] twist. Uh
00:22:18
I'm just really proud of you and so
00:22:20
happy you get you get to influence so
00:22:22
many people with your badass story.
00:22:24
>> Aw, thank you.
00:22:25
>> So sweet.
00:22:25
>> That was really nice.
00:22:26
>> Ash, congrats on your engagement. I got
00:22:28
That's so funny because it's actually
00:22:30
almost my 2-year anniversary.
00:22:31
>> kidding me? It's like a couple of days
00:22:32
away. Um I got married a little over a
00:22:34
year ago now and my best piece of advice
00:22:36
is to try to not be super stressed out
00:22:38
all day. Once the actual day comes,
00:22:40
there will very likely be things that
00:22:41
didn't go as planned. It's hard when you
00:22:43
spend so much time and money to be
00:22:45
honest, but there's literally nothing
00:22:46
you can do about it. So go get your mans
00:22:48
and know that everything works out how
00:22:49
it's meant to. Aw, that was really nice.
00:22:51
>> so nice. And you know what it did? Like
00:22:53
there was like very minimal things that
00:22:55
went wrong, but when they did, I was
00:22:56
like I just want to marry Drew.
00:22:58
>> Yeah. That was your best advice that you
00:22:59
gave me, too. For example, it literally
00:23:02
rained on all my guests as they waited
00:23:04
for me to walk down the aisle. And of
00:23:05
course, the rain stopped just for me.
00:23:07
I felt bad for my guests, but like I
00:23:09
can't control the weather. Sorry, guys.
00:23:11
>> [laughter]
00:23:12
>> Anyway, time for my actual tale. It's a
00:23:15
bit of a mix. Uh kind of funny at the
00:23:17
beginning, but gets very serious and
00:23:19
[ __ ] up at the end. Please do enjoy my
00:23:21
double-spaced PDF and I hope y'all enjoy
00:23:24
it. I'm ready.
00:23:25
>> We're going to enjoy the [ __ ] out of it.
00:23:26
In 2010, I started at the University of
00:23:29
Georgia, present college football
00:23:30
national champions. Woo! Sorry, I had
00:23:33
to.
00:23:34
>> [laughter]
00:23:34
>> I don't know what that means, but all
00:23:35
right. You guys go. I joined a sorority.
00:23:39
I love [laughter] the sorority.
00:23:41
>> it like that, like with the uppercase
00:23:42
lowercase letters. Which was pretty
00:23:44
common in big southern schools back
00:23:45
then. From a quick Google search, about
00:23:47
29% of the students at UGA join. That's
00:23:50
crazy. Anyhoo, I got invited to go to a
00:23:52
frat party with one of my best friends
00:23:54
from high school, Billy. Billy has also
00:23:57
come out since college, which seems like
00:23:58
an unnecessary fact, but plays into the
00:24:00
story because I definitely felt super
00:24:03
safe with him and we were not sexually
00:24:04
attracted to each other. [laughter]
00:24:06
'Twas platonic. I love it. So, I go to
00:24:08
the party, I drink a ton, we go back to
00:24:10
Billy's dorm.
00:24:12
Did you say I'm from here?
00:24:14
>> here.
00:24:15
Like
00:24:16
you're from like Massachusetts?
00:24:19
Please confirm. Yeah, let us know.
00:24:21
They're here. Who's here?
00:24:23
Tell us who's here, please.
00:24:27
Hello?
00:24:29
Let us know who's here.
00:24:31
So,
00:24:32
I go to the party, drink a ton, and we
00:24:33
go back to Billy's dorm at some point in
00:24:35
the middle of the night. Okay, so why
00:24:36
didn't I go back to my own dorm? I don't
00:24:38
know. Definitely wasn't trying to [ __ ]
00:24:39
Billy, but I guess I just didn't want
00:24:41
the night to end. Definitely wasn't
00:24:42
trying to [ __ ] Billy. I love it, for
00:24:44
sure. Who knows? Not me.
00:24:46
>> [laughter]
00:24:46
>> Probably because I was so [ __ ] up that
00:24:48
Billy wanted to make sure I was safe and
00:24:50
he wasn't allowed to go in my dorm.
00:24:51
Okay. Aw, Billy's a good guy.
00:24:53
>> He is a good guy. Now I need to go back
00:24:55
up Now I need to back up a bit and give
00:24:57
y'all a little info on my dorm room. I
00:24:59
chose my dorm because it was one of the
00:25:00
only dorm buildings that had their own
00:25:02
sinks. All of the dorms on campus had
00:25:04
community bathrooms, but only two or
00:25:06
three of the super small dorms had their
00:25:08
own sinks, which was one of mine. The
00:25:11
other huge dorms didn't have sinks, but
00:25:12
they were cooler for some reason. I
00:25:14
don't know. So I stayed with my friends
00:25:16
in the cool in the cool dorms fairly
00:25:18
often, but when I did stay in my own
00:25:20
dorm and I had to go pee in the middle
00:25:22
of the night because I drank like a fish
00:25:24
pretty much every [ __ ] day of
00:25:26
college, I used to pee in my own sink.
00:25:29
Vomit emoji times a thousand. It's very
00:25:31
shameful to admit this as [laughter] a
00:25:32
grown woman, but I promise you everyone
00:25:34
was doing it in college.
00:25:37
I hope.
00:25:37
>> He said [laughter] I hope so. He said I
00:25:39
hope you have shame. I hope you're
00:25:40
ashamed. How dare you?
00:25:43
Aw, Nicholas. I promise you everyone was
00:25:45
doing it in college. We were repulsive.
00:25:47
We were living off Four Lokos and ramen
00:25:49
noodles. We had just left our parents'
00:25:51
houses for the first time in our lives.
00:25:53
We were wild animals.
00:25:54
>> Holy [ __ ]
00:25:55
>> You can judge me. Hell, I'm judging me.
00:25:57
Also, yeah, I had a roommate. She hated
00:25:59
me. I would have hated me, too. Sorry,
00:26:01
Kay.
00:26:01
>> [laughter]
00:26:01
>> And yes, this is the same sink that we
00:26:03
brushed our teeth in. I know.
00:26:05
I know. I know. I know. I'm trash.
00:26:08
[laughter]
00:26:09
Okay, so now that's over, I can get on
00:26:11
with my story. I woke up in the middle
00:26:13
of the night in Billy's dorm and I
00:26:15
really had to pee. I'm half asleep and
00:26:17
I'm still wasted as [ __ ] So I go to
00:26:19
Billy's roommate's desk where his open
00:26:21
laptop was sitting. And I
00:26:23
And I stand up on his desk chair, turn
00:26:26
around, pull down my pants, squat, and
00:26:30
piss [laughter] all over his roommate's
00:26:33
open laptop.
00:26:35
>> [laughter]
00:26:35
>> And then she goes
00:26:38
She goes, "Yep, I did that." Yep,
00:26:40
[laughter] I did that.
00:26:42
How do I know I did How do I know I did
00:26:45
that? Well, honestly, I don't. I don't
00:26:47
remember it at all. I woke up the next
00:26:49
morning to Billy's roommate, whose name
00:26:50
is Butch, shouting that one of us had
00:26:52
spilled a drink all over his laptop. In
00:26:55
some form.
00:26:56
>> Yeah, maybe.
00:26:57
>> Yeah. Butch immediately started Or no,
00:26:59
I'm sorry. Billy immediately started
00:27:00
apologizing and so did I. We told him we
00:27:02
would pay for it. I changed into some of
00:27:04
Billy's sweats. Shocker, clothes were
00:27:06
like a badge of honor back in the day.
00:27:08
So weird.
00:27:09
I'm obsessed. College is such a wild
00:27:11
time. It is.
00:27:12
>> And we left to go to the dining hall for
00:27:13
breakfast. The second we closed the
00:27:15
door, Billy goes, "Sam, you peed on his
00:27:17
laptop last night." I was like, "What
00:27:19
the [ __ ] No, I didn't."
00:27:21
>> And he was like, "Dude, I saw you in the
00:27:22
middle of the night go pee on it." And I
00:27:24
was like, "What the fuck?" At this point
00:27:26
I had known Billy for a long ass time
00:27:28
and I knew he wasn't lying and I
00:27:29
realized that that laptop,
00:27:31
unfortunately, was located in the same
00:27:33
spot as my sink was located in my dorm.
00:27:36
I love that he's just like Girl, I saw
00:27:38
you pee on that laptop. What a [ __ ]
00:27:41
solid ass friend though because he was
00:27:42
like, "Damn, sorry that we spilled a
00:27:44
drink on that. Like our bad."
00:27:45
>> it, he's like, "Yo, I saw you piss on
00:27:47
that laptop."
00:27:48
>> He's like, "Hey, [ __ ] what were you
00:27:49
doing?"
00:27:51
Okay, so I need to figure out Okay, so
00:27:54
now I need to figure out how to pay for
00:27:55
this piss computer as a broke college
00:27:57
kid
00:27:58
>> [laughter]
00:27:58
>> who can't tell her single mom that she
00:27:59
was blackout drunk and pissed on a
00:28:01
$2,000 computer. So I tell Butch that
00:28:03
I'm sorry I spilled a drink on his
00:28:06
computer and I was going to have to try
00:28:08
to find random jobs to pay him back for
00:28:09
it. I just feel like I didn't do it.
00:28:11
Yeah, I'd be like I don't know what
00:28:12
you're talking about. That's your
00:28:13
[ __ ] laptop and your [ __ ] problem.
00:28:15
He agrees and goes and gets a rental
00:28:17
laptop. Well, let's just say waiting
00:28:19
tables at the local watering super
00:28:21
creepy old men wasn't making that $2,000
00:28:23
happen very quickly.
00:28:25
Yeah, honestly. I had only saved up a
00:28:27
few hundred dollars before I get a call
00:28:29
from the dean of something important as
00:28:31
[ __ ] from UGA telling me if I didn't pay
00:28:34
this guy back in some super short ass
00:28:36
amount of time that he would be pressing
00:28:38
charges that may lead to my expulsion.
00:28:41
>> Aw, what a piece of [ __ ]
00:28:42
>> like for spilling a drink? Like come on.
00:28:44
Like [ __ ] off.
00:28:45
>> Like sure, you pissed on the laptop, but
00:28:47
he didn't know that at first.
00:28:47
>> know that. Although maybe he figured it
00:28:49
out and then that's when he was like,
00:28:50
"I'm going to press charges." Yeah.
00:28:52
[laughter] What the [ __ ] Turns out that
00:28:54
Butch's dad was some super entitled
00:28:56
[ __ ] who literally thinks that he can
00:28:58
do anything to anyone.
00:28:59
>> So I cried a ton and I called my mom and
00:29:01
I had to tell her everything. She lent
00:29:03
me $2,000 and I tried to give it to
00:29:05
Butch. And then this [ __ ] has the
00:29:07
audacity to tell me I also have to pay
00:29:09
for his rental laptop.
00:29:11
>> Aw, [ __ ] that.
00:29:12
>> Yeah, [ __ ] that a whole a whole bunch.
00:29:14
Okay, y'all, I know that's fair, but it
00:29:16
was No, it's not. It was super super
00:29:18
hard for my mom to even find $2,000. And
00:29:21
I knew that Butch's family was rich as
00:29:23
[ __ ] so it just felt icky.
00:29:25
It is. [ __ ] them. I called my mom back,
00:29:27
I got another $800 or something for the
00:29:29
rental laptop, and I finally paid back
00:29:31
Butch for the water damage.
00:29:33
>> Water damage. Hey, maybe you were really
00:29:35
hydrated. It was probably a lot of
00:29:36
water.
00:29:37
Well, actually, you weren't. Oh, never
00:29:38
mind. I go on with my life. I eventually
00:29:40
pay my mom back and all is good. About a
00:29:42
year later, I move out of the dorms and
00:29:44
into the sort.
00:29:46
Did you say I'm moving?
00:29:48
Where you Well, because you're not cuz
00:29:49
you're from here, but I'm not moving.
00:29:51
>> moving? Where are you going? Where are
00:29:53
you going? Don't go to Georgia. This
00:29:55
This gal might piss on your laptop.
00:29:57
Don't leave me. If you have one. Let me
00:29:59
know where you're going.
00:30:00
>> really bonded, huh? It's crazy.
00:30:03
>> [laughter]
00:30:03
>> All right. So, fast forward I moved out
00:30:05
of the dorms into the sorority house. I
00:30:07
got a call from Billy and I was like,
00:30:09
what the [ __ ] We don't call, we text.
00:30:11
Calling is like super cringe.
00:30:13
>> Honestly, yeah.
00:30:14
>> It is. Don't call me. So, I either
00:30:16
thought that one of our high school
00:30:17
friends had died or something or that
00:30:18
Billy was just butt dialing me, but I
00:30:20
picked up. Billy, Sam, Butch got
00:30:22
arrested for raping a girl. Me, holy
00:30:25
[ __ ] Me, huh? Billy, check your phone.
00:30:28
Me, opens article to the news story.
00:30:32
I'm [clears throat] vomiting. Not
00:30:33
actually, but my body was convulsing and
00:30:35
my heart was racing. For those who can't
00:30:38
see this article, Butch is shown with
00:30:40
bloody claw marks all over his face. He
00:30:42
attacked a girl and attempted to rape
00:30:45
her on a sidewalk at 2:30 a.m. on a
00:30:48
Monday.
00:30:49
>> Oh my god.
00:30:51
>> And then trying to flee the police dove
00:30:53
butt ass naked into a lake to try to get
00:30:55
away. What a [ __ ] vile piece of
00:30:59
garbage.
00:31:00
>> [ __ ] that guy. He didn't get away. I
00:31:03
love that he He didn't. Yeah, he didn't.
00:31:05
He didn't He didn't get away. The part
00:31:07
that infuriates me beyond belief is that
00:31:09
because his dad is super rich and is has
00:31:11
friends with connections or something,
00:31:13
Butch only had to go to jail for a few
00:31:16
days.
00:31:17
>> Oh, [ __ ] that.
00:31:18
>> was let out on $10,000 bond and all he
00:31:21
had to do was was serve community
00:31:23
service and be on probation. What the
00:31:26
[ __ ]
00:31:26
>> What the [ __ ] indeed.
00:31:28
>> It still [ __ ] with me that I slept in
00:31:29
the same room as this monster. I'm not
00:31:31
ignorant to the fact that a broken
00:31:33
laptop is nothing compared to what could
00:31:34
have happened. To conclude, [ __ ] you,
00:31:36
Butch. That wasn't a spilled drink. That
00:31:38
was my piss.
00:31:39
>> Hell yeah. It's like I pissed on your
00:31:42
laptop.
00:31:42
>> [laughter]
00:31:43
>> on your laptop. [ __ ] that. I love y'all
00:31:45
so much and I hope y'all keep it weird,
00:31:48
but not so weird that you use your sink
00:31:49
as a toilet because you're a lazy piece
00:31:51
of trash. P.S. Let me know if you want
00:31:52
to hear the story about how I saw my
00:31:54
first not in a cadaver lab dead body the
00:31:57
night before my wedding.
00:31:58
>> Of course I would hear that.
00:31:59
>> Yes. Would you even have to ask?
00:32:00
>> Yeah, come on. P.P.S. Here's a cute
00:32:02
picture of me and my Will during our
00:32:04
second line at our wedding in Nola. And
00:32:06
of course, a pic of our cute little
00:32:08
puppa puppy Kota on our wedding day. I
00:32:11
know.
00:32:12
>> [laughter]
00:32:14
>> Nicholas was like, I know. I
00:32:15
I know your dog, Kota. It's been so
00:32:18
great.
00:32:18
>> [laughter]
00:32:20
>> I loved your wedding.
00:32:21
>> I loved your wedding. Holy [ __ ] Sam.
00:32:23
>> That was such a good story, Sam.
00:32:25
>> I am wow. Fantastic universe and his
00:32:28
laptop.
00:32:29
>> Yeah, some
00:32:31
What the [ __ ] You need to tell me what
00:32:32
that says.
00:32:34
Shovel. Shovel?
00:32:36
The way that you just like
00:32:38
I need to shimmy. That was I needed to
00:32:40
know what that was.
00:32:41
>> I love that.
00:32:42
>> Thank you. You literally said I will
00:32:43
find [laughter] out.
00:32:44
>> I said I'm going to find out. I keep
00:32:45
that in, please. That was great. Wow.
00:32:48
Sam, yeah, the universe just knew that
00:32:49
you should have pissed on that guy's
00:32:50
laptop. I can't believe you pissed in
00:32:52
your sink, girl, but you know, we've all
00:32:54
done some gross [ __ ] Yeah, I had no
00:32:55
idea that pissing in a sink was such a
00:32:57
common occurrence. I was a trash human
00:32:59
for a really, really long time and I
00:33:01
never pissed in a sink.
00:33:02
>> Damn. I pissed outdoors.
00:33:04
>> She really just called you out. Yeah,
00:33:05
I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.
00:33:07
>> She said me, I was a trash human, but I
00:33:08
never was that trashy.
00:33:10
>> But like non-derogatory.
00:33:11
>> Miranda Priestly.
00:33:12
>> Who was? It's like not me. Couldn't be
00:33:14
me. I wasn't that trashy.
00:33:17
I wasn't that trashy, Sam. Just kidding,
00:33:19
we love you, Sam. We love you, Sam. We
00:33:21
[ __ ] love you, Sam. It literally
00:33:25
Can you do the slither again?
00:33:29
I can't get through. Oh, you took your
00:33:31
sweater with you. I did.
00:33:32
>> It's actually super weird because my
00:33:35
I don't even know if you can see that.
00:33:37
>> [laughter]
00:33:37
>> I'm telling you a story.
00:33:39
It's my lover. Okay.
00:33:42
>> [laughter]
00:33:42
>> I don't know if you can see this on the
00:33:43
video. You can leave this in. But I'm in
00:33:45
a really a place of leaving it in. This
00:33:46
just keeps getting lowered.
00:33:49
I'm trying to talk.
00:33:51
I'm sorry that you're sad. You can get
00:33:53
through to us. Are you pushing my
00:33:55
microphone down though cuz
00:33:57
as I'm telling stories it's like going
00:33:58
lower and lower, I think.
00:33:59
>> Maybe it is, Nicholas. You trying to get
00:34:01
our attention? Nicholas. What's going
00:34:03
on, Nicholas? Don't be sad. We got your
00:34:05
back, homie.
00:34:05
>> Yeah, we love you, Nicholas. Big love.
00:34:07
Nicholas for life.
00:34:10
Uh okay, so that was amazing, [laughter]
00:34:12
Sam.
00:34:13
Uh and now we have listener tale.
00:34:15
Hoarders have secrets. Hoarders have
00:34:16
secrets. I've never seen that show on
00:34:18
TLC.
00:34:19
>> No, that sounds like a great show.
00:34:20
Hoarders have secrets.
00:34:21
>> I know. Period. I would watch that cuz I
00:34:23
can't watch the TLC one. It's so sad.
00:34:25
>> No, it's awful.
00:34:26
>> Yeah, so sad.
00:34:27
>> Yeah.
00:34:28
Hi you two beautiful humans. Also, shout
00:34:30
out to Deb Deb. Now, my name is Casey
00:34:32
and you can use it.
00:34:33
>> that name.
00:34:33
>> Smiley face.
00:34:35
I submitted this listener tale
00:34:36
previously, but was a complete hot mess
00:34:38
and it did up not attaching the story.
00:34:40
Face palm. We all do that sometimes.
00:34:42
>> However, I'm proud of actually writing
00:34:43
it down and have my mother's blessing to
00:34:44
share with the world through your
00:34:46
podcast. I love your show and await
00:34:48
eagerly for each episode to drop. It's
00:34:50
the only thing that gets me through
00:34:51
folding laundry. In my head, we are true
00:34:53
best friends.
00:34:54
>> We are. You've also introduced me to
00:34:55
Buffy. Although the episodes weren't
00:34:57
coming out fast enough to keep up with
00:34:59
me binging the series. Sorry, not sorry.
00:35:01
Uh it was so hard for me to not do that.
00:35:03
>> Oh, yeah. Anyways, and now we're on to
00:35:05
True Blood. You should listen to it. We
00:35:06
watched it with you.
00:35:08
>> Anyways, please enjoy the attached
00:35:09
double space putefa. Please advise that
00:35:12
I've also attached pictures of a real
00:35:13
life severed finger and proceed at your
00:35:15
own risk in viewing. I appreciate that.
00:35:17
I think it's awesome though. I've also
00:35:19
attached a picture of my fur baby who
00:35:21
just turned one.
00:35:22
>> HBD, fur baby. Hello, you can use my
00:35:24
name, Casey. I can't believe you're
00:35:26
actually reading this. We are.
00:35:28
>> for years and I'm a big fan. Currently
00:35:30
planning a tattoo in in commemoration.
00:35:34
I could not say that word of mine and
00:35:36
your weirdness. I love that.
00:35:37
>> Hell yeah, let's see it.
00:35:38
>> I haven't written any
00:35:39
>> Let's see it. Let's see your tattoo,
00:35:41
Casey.
00:35:41
>> We want to see the commemoration.
00:35:43
>> to see it. Stop. Commemorate and show
00:35:45
us. You [music] are getting a tattoo.
00:35:49
I know I had it, but it was finished.
00:35:51
>> I had a bad sleep score. [laughter]
00:35:54
I had a bad sleep score.
00:35:55
>> so mean She is. Everyone thinks that I'm
00:35:58
mean.
00:35:58
>> [laughter]
00:35:59
>> I can be a little mean. She's being very
00:36:01
Miranda Priestly today. I'm
00:36:02
[clears throat] channeling the energy.
00:36:04
>> You were. You're method acting. I
00:36:06
haven't written anything in years as I
00:36:07
am a college dropout and it is not
00:36:09
required at my job. I get it.
00:36:11
>> some grace in the grammar and run-on
00:36:13
sentences. Also, this story is still
00:36:15
developing as the years roll by, so this
00:36:17
is as it stands now. Damn. To be honest,
00:36:19
I don't think I ever had a listener tale
00:36:21
to contribute until my friend gave me a
00:36:23
dumb [ __ ] moment and reminded me of
00:36:25
this tale. Small disclaimer, the part of
00:36:27
my extended family in this story is in
00:36:29
no way a reflection of my immediate
00:36:31
family and my mom has overcome so much
00:36:33
mental turbulence from them and her
00:36:34
childhood abuse.
00:36:35
>> Aw.
00:36:36
>> Aw. I'm happy that she's overcome it.
00:36:37
>> I'm sorry that she experienced it. I'm
00:36:39
from a town in Utah where me and my high
00:36:41
school sweetheart raise our fur baby. My
00:36:43
mom grew up in a more rural town 30
00:36:45
minutes south of where we are now. My
00:36:47
grandma and grandpa had become had
00:36:50
become special needs foster parents and
00:36:52
eventually adopted eight kids.
00:36:54
>> Damn. Good for
00:36:54
Yeah, that was in two in addition to the
00:36:56
original five kids they already had that
00:36:58
included my mom. Her childhood was rough
00:37:00
for many reasons. Wait, I'm so sorry. Is
00:37:02
that 13 kids? It's a lot of kids. Yeah.
00:37:05
Yeah, I just did quick math. Look at me.
00:37:07
Whoa. Her childhood was rough for many
00:37:09
reasons including she was the only girl
00:37:11
of all boys and my grandma had an
00:37:13
addiction to hoarding. I'm talking like
00:37:15
TLC series level of hoarding. Let us
00:37:17
fast forward to a couple of years ago
00:37:19
and my grandma's health was rapidly
00:37:21
declining. I'm only going to spare some
00:37:23
of the details as I would don't want to
00:37:24
steal from the true point of this story,
00:37:26
but her with her needing a lot of
00:37:28
assistance and the condition of the
00:37:29
house was in, my mom opted to put her in
00:37:31
a care facility. With that her out of
00:37:33
the house, my grandpa's health health
00:37:35
was also not the best and having four of
00:37:37
my special needs uncles in the house, he
00:37:39
also needed a lot of assistance. That's
00:37:41
a lot.
00:37:42
>> That is.
00:37:43
>> sister [clears throat] and I took on the
00:37:44
responsibility of taking dinners down,
00:37:46
taking them to appointments and even
00:37:47
started shoveling the garbage out that
00:37:49
they had that had overtaken the home.
00:37:51
>> Oh, that's awful.
00:37:52
>> to the point where my poor grandpa
00:37:53
couldn't do it on his own anymore and
00:37:55
after my grandma passed away, he went to
00:37:57
the assisted living facility as well.
00:37:59
That's like so sad, but I'm also so glad
00:38:01
that he got to live in like a clean
00:38:02
place at the end of his life.
00:38:03
>> Exactly. With everyone out of the house,
00:38:06
we began work on cleaning out the house
00:38:07
to figure out if it was even possible to
00:38:09
sell or if we would have to demolish it
00:38:11
and sell the land. Let me tell you, it
00:38:13
was not for the squeamish. Aw.
00:38:15
>> For years my mom tried to give us a
00:38:17
relationship with my grandparents and we
00:38:19
would often go down to visit even if we
00:38:20
had to stand by the front door because
00:38:22
there was nowhere else to go.
00:38:24
>> Oh, wow.
00:38:25
>> I had built up a tolerance for the smell
00:38:26
and and disaster. However, there were
00:38:29
parts of that house that not even my mom
00:38:31
had seen in 30 years.
00:38:33
>> Oh my god.
00:38:34
>> can get buried in that amount of time.
00:38:36
It took 17 dumpsters of garbage to get
00:38:38
through the first three rooms and that
00:38:40
is just what my family was able to
00:38:42
accomplish. Animal trigger warning. Aw.
00:38:45
We did find several dead cats and lots
00:38:48
of rats. That always happens on that TLC
00:38:50
show and that's a big part of why I
00:38:52
can't watch it.
00:38:53
>> One room was filled from floor to
00:38:54
ceiling with clothes mixed with human
00:38:57
feces.
00:38:57
>> Oh, man. Don't mean to overshare and
00:38:59
gross you out. Just trying to convey the
00:39:01
nastiness that was there and the
00:39:02
condition in which they were living in.
00:39:04
It's sad. It's a mental illness. It is.
00:39:07
We ended up being so overwhelmed
00:39:08
emotionally and physically by the job
00:39:10
that my mom and her oldest brother made
00:39:12
the decision to sell the house as is.
00:39:14
Some very talented and determined DIYers
00:39:16
bought it and picked up where we left
00:39:18
off.
00:39:18
>> Wow, that's remarkable. I didn't even
00:39:20
know you could do that.
00:39:21
>> know that either. Where does the true
00:39:23
crime start in all this, you may ask?
00:39:24
>> I'm asking. Here's the part of the story
00:39:26
that we're all here for. Well, we were
00:39:28
they were in the middle of renovating to
00:39:29
the in the cold storage basement that
00:39:31
nobody had access to in years, they
00:39:33
found a freaking severed finger.
00:39:38
Pictures are attached if you can handle
00:39:39
it. What?
00:39:40
>> Girl, I can handle it. We know you can.
00:39:43
I I just got to see it. [laughter]
00:39:44
>> can. It was preserved pretty well from
00:39:46
my non-medical opinion in a small glass
00:39:49
jar. Preserved?
00:39:51
>> jar. Hello?
00:39:53
>> After taking some pictures and reporting
00:39:54
it to the police, small town, so likely
00:39:56
nothing will come of this, we promptly
00:39:58
went to visit my grandpa to see what the
00:40:00
hell he knew about this. He told us that
00:40:02
he had seen it before, but he he didn't
00:40:04
know what to do with it, so he just put
00:40:06
it back and didn't say anything to
00:40:07
anyone. Grandpa!
00:40:10
I'm tired of this grandpa. [laughter]
00:40:11
>> I'm tired of this grandpa. And he said,
00:40:13
"Well, that's too bad."
00:40:13
>> too too damn bad." "That's my severed
00:40:16
finger." It's not.
00:40:18
>> Wow.
00:40:18
>> That's the problem. [laughter]
00:40:19
>> It's not his severed finger.
00:40:21
>> He then refused to talk about it any
00:40:23
further. What?
00:40:24
>> [laughter]
00:40:25
>> My grandpa was a more quiet person and
00:40:27
was definitely not the dominant
00:40:28
personality in my grand
00:40:32
>> [laughter]
00:40:33
>> The way you just keep doing it so fast.
00:40:34
>> annoying. Annoying? Is it annoying that
00:40:37
he was quiet?
00:40:38
>> Yeah, it's annoying that he wouldn't he
00:40:39
wouldn't tell. Exactly. Nicholas, I got
00:40:41
to say
00:40:41
>> Nice to grandpa, though.
00:40:43
Uh he was not the dominant personality
00:40:45
in my grandparents marriage. When we
00:40:47
were getting stories for my grandma's
00:40:48
funeral, her sister mentioned several
00:40:50
times that he would just go along with
00:40:52
whatever plan or manipulation she had
00:40:54
going at the time.
00:40:55
>> Yikes. "Was he afraid of my grandma?" I
00:40:57
now find myself asking. Turns out it
00:40:59
wasn't the first off-color thing to
00:41:01
happen in that house. Oh, man. As I
00:41:02
mentioned earlier, my grandparents
00:41:04
fostered many special needs kids and
00:41:06
adults. Hold on to your butts. One of
00:41:08
the little girls went missing shortly
00:41:10
after arriving in their custody. Oh.
00:41:14
My mom was younger, so she doesn't know
00:41:16
if she just ran away or something else
00:41:17
happened. In fact, the girl's family
00:41:19
would drive by my grandparents' house
00:41:21
when they were outside on the porch and
00:41:22
stare them down. Oh.
00:41:24
>> The family was convinced that they did
00:41:26
something to her, even though there was
00:41:27
nothing to suggest foul play.
00:41:29
But because it was the '80s, nothing was
00:41:31
really done about it to find out either
00:41:33
way. Was that the kid's finger? Is it a
00:41:35
kid's finger?
00:41:37
Actually, it's probably not. More It
00:41:38
looks more like an adult I didn't even I
00:41:40
literally was reading along with you,
00:41:42
but I didn't even see the next part. I
00:41:44
[laughter] swear.
00:41:44
>> Was it a kid's finger?
00:41:45
>> The way you just answered
00:41:46
>> Actually, it's probably not. Looks more
00:41:48
like an adult size, but still, someone,
00:41:50
apparently me, is the only one asking
00:41:52
these things. My mom had to deal with
00:41:54
all of this along with the passing of my
00:41:56
grandma, which brought up some
00:41:57
conflicting feelings what from her own
00:41:59
childhood trauma of things that I can't
00:42:01
even scratch the surface of.
00:42:03
>> My mom is superwoman strong. Aw. So many
00:42:06
questions, some of which are, who is
00:42:08
missing this finger? Who put said finger
00:42:10
in a jar? Why did nobody question the
00:42:12
girl's disappearance? Are my
00:42:14
grandparents criminals?
00:42:15
>> Yes. I [laughter] know this isn't the
00:42:17
most exciting
00:42:19
>> Pause right there. Babe, we know a lot
00:42:21
of We No, no, no, here's the thing. We
00:42:23
don't know a lot of things, but one
00:42:25
thing is for sure, your grandparents are
00:42:27
criminals.
00:42:30
And that's the name of this episode.
00:42:32
Listener tales, your grip
00:42:33
>> [laughter]
00:42:34
>> Stop coughing at me. It's so funny. Do
00:42:36
you need water? Do you have some? Yeah,
00:42:37
hold on, I have some water.
00:42:43
>> [bell]
00:42:46
>> Are my grandparents criminals? Yes. I
00:42:48
know this isn't the most exciting
00:42:49
listener tale you've gotten.
00:42:51
>> it's pretty up there. Yeah. But I
00:42:53
finally had something to contribute. It
00:42:55
was also fun to write this down as it
00:42:56
became a good party anecdote, which is
00:42:58
how it got the name the lone phalange.
00:43:01
>> [laughter]
00:43:01
>> The lone phalange. A lone phalange.
00:43:04
>> I like Solange better. It's a little
00:43:06
French. Thanks for letting me share.
00:43:08
>> You betcha.
00:43:08
>> Keep it weird, but not so weird that you
00:43:10
had a severed finger in your cold
00:43:11
storage and not tell anyone about it.
00:43:13
Also, don't keep it so weird that your
00:43:14
foster kid runs away and nobody cares.
00:43:16
And don't keep it so weird that you have
00:43:17
a hoarder house that could be full of
00:43:18
other possible human body parts. Bye.
00:43:25
That was heavy, babe.
00:43:27
That was
00:43:28
heavy, [laughter] babe.
00:43:30
I look over and you're just like
00:43:33
I'm just
00:43:33
I'm just lost in thought. Lost in the
00:43:36
sauce. This is [laughter] some That's
00:43:38
some other mother [ __ ]
00:43:39
>> That is some other mother [ __ ]
00:43:41
>> other mother [ __ ]
00:43:42
>> [ __ ] crazy.
00:43:43
>> Damn.
00:43:44
That's [snorts]
00:43:45
wild. Again,
00:43:46
>> your grandparents [laughter] are
00:43:47
criminals. Yeah, your grandparents are
00:43:48
criminals, babe. Holy [ __ ] Uh what?
00:43:51
Hopefully I've been the watching so many
00:43:52
of Ryan Lill's TikToks lately.
00:43:55
Ryan Lill is one of the funniest humans
00:43:57
on the planet.
00:43:58
>> And also one of the sweetest humans.
00:43:59
>> All of the above. If you don't follow
00:44:01
Ryan Lill, get Ryan Lill Washington,
00:44:03
follow him on everything. Follow him,
00:44:04
buy his
00:44:05
>> books, Into the Pines. Oh, so good.
00:44:07
Our quotes are on them. It's true. All
00:44:09
right. So, listener tale for listener
00:44:11
tale, not all ghosts are evil. Agreed. I
00:44:14
Yeah. Right, Nicholas?
00:44:16
Right?
00:44:16
>> Hello, weird and wonderful ladies. First
00:44:18
of all, thank you for your captivating
00:44:19
content.
00:44:20
>> You're welcome.
00:44:21
And for your equally captivating and
00:44:23
often hilarious personalities. You are
00:44:25
great.
00:44:25
>> Thank you. I don't listen to a lot of
00:44:27
podcasts, only two, you and Mr. Ballen.
00:44:30
>> Okay, Mr. Ballen. Mr. Ballen just came
00:44:32
over to Sirius. Yeah. From Wondery.
00:44:34
>> Came to the good place. Stumbling across
00:44:36
one of your listener tales was what got
00:44:37
me hooked. My name is Mark. Feel free to
00:44:39
use it and any other names mentioned in
00:44:41
this tale.
00:44:41
>> Mark.
00:44:42
>> I am 65 years old and I no longer give a
00:44:45
[ __ ] about what people think.
00:44:46
>> Mark, I literally love you.
00:44:47
>> Mark, I turned 65 today and I [laughter]
00:44:50
also don't care what people think.
00:44:52
>> a [ __ ]
00:44:53
So, that's great.
00:44:54
>> If you're not watching this, that's so
00:44:56
confusing for you.
00:44:57
>> It's true. You're Trust me, it makes
00:44:59
sense. Mark, I love you. All right. So,
00:45:01
okay, on with my tale. I would truly
00:45:03
like your point of view as to if the
00:45:05
spirits in this tale are evil or if
00:45:06
they're trying to be protective. This
00:45:08
story is 100% true. I know because it
00:45:11
happened to my wife, my son, and myself
00:45:13
back in 1975. Hell yeah. We will call
00:45:17
this moved in, moved out 2 days later.
00:45:19
Okay.
00:45:19
>> of 1975, my wife Angela and I were
00:45:22
expecting our firstborn and in
00:45:24
expectation of his arrival had just
00:45:26
purchased our first home. Aw. Then
00:45:28
that's beautiful. Congrats
00:45:29
retroactively. Yeah. The night before we
00:45:31
were to to due to move in, my wife went
00:45:34
into labor. Our son came into the world
00:45:36
at 3:56 a.m. Amazingly, I remember every
00:45:39
detail of that night and the following 2
00:45:41
days as if it was today. Mark, I never
00:45:43
gave you permission to make me cry like
00:45:45
that.
00:45:45
>> Seriously, never change. The morning
00:45:47
after his birth, I gathered a few
00:45:48
friends and moved all our crap over to
00:45:50
our new home. This took all day and I
00:45:52
didn't have time to set everything up,
00:45:54
so I put a mattress on the floor in the
00:45:55
bedroom and set our son's crib next to
00:45:57
it. The rest of the stuff was piled
00:45:59
against the walls and sliding glass
00:46:01
doors, which is important later in the
00:46:02
story.
00:46:03
Angela and Johnny were released from the
00:46:05
hospital that evening.
00:46:07
So, I locked up the house and went to
00:46:08
pick them up, then stopped for dinner
00:46:09
with our friends Scott and Debbie. After
00:46:11
dinner, the four of us returned to the
00:46:13
new house. When we went to go in, I
00:46:15
noticed the front door was unlocked.
00:46:17
>> Oop. I know when I left that I locked
00:46:19
all the doors and the windows. I
00:46:20
shrugged it off as being the real estate
00:46:22
agent just checking up.
00:46:23
>> Ooh.
00:46:23
Angie put our son to sleep in his crib,
00:46:26
uh and the four of us adults visited and
00:46:27
drank a few brews until around 11:00
00:46:29
p.m. when Scott and Debbie headed home.
00:46:32
I locked the front doors, two locks,
00:46:34
handle and bolt, and we went to bed. As
00:46:36
newborns do, our son woke up at around
00:46:38
2:00 a.m. screaming to be fed. Uh before
00:46:40
I could get up to get him, I felt
00:46:43
movement on my wife's side of the bed
00:46:44
and heard my son quiet down. Assuming my
00:46:47
wife had handled the situation, I went
00:46:48
back to sleep. Uh well, you know about
00:46:50
assuming. It makes an ass out of you and
00:46:52
me. It does. It does. I found out the
00:46:54
next day how true that was. I woke up
00:46:57
before my wife headed to the kitchen to
00:46:58
make coffee. To my pleasant surprise, it
00:47:00
was already brewed and waiting. Aw.
00:47:02
Again, assuming my wife had woken up
00:47:04
early and started the coffee and what
00:47:06
then went back to bed, I poured a cup
00:47:08
and turned to go into the living room to
00:47:10
sit and drink my coffee. That's when I
00:47:12
noticed it, baby powder.
00:47:15
Splotches of baby powder were going from
00:47:17
the coffee pot through the kitchen, out
00:47:19
the living room, beyond the still locked
00:47:22
front door and into the driveway. Or
00:47:24
sorry, the still locked front door and
00:47:26
into the driveway.
00:47:27
I checked through the house and all the
00:47:29
doors and windows were still locked. It
00:47:31
was strange, to say the least,
00:47:33
>> Yeah. but beyond the type of prank that
00:47:35
my friends would pull, so I didn't let
00:47:36
it get to me until or sorry, not beyond
00:47:39
the type of prank that my friends would
00:47:40
pull. So, you're thinking maybe this is
00:47:41
your friends.
00:47:43
I didn't let it get to me until later
00:47:44
that evening. What that that evening,
00:47:46
Scott, Debbie, and two other friends all
00:47:49
met up for dinner. As we were sitting
00:47:50
having a casual conversation as we ate,
00:47:53
I asked Scott if he was in the baby in
00:47:55
on the baby powder prank. His response
00:47:57
was, "Baby powder? What are you talking
00:47:59
about?" That told me he was not in on
00:48:02
it. Oh, no. I proceeded to tell him
00:48:04
about it and he couldn't figure out how
00:48:05
it was done either, but it was a few
00:48:07
minutes later that sent chills down my
00:48:09
spine and made me question my sanity.
00:48:11
When my wife thanked me for getting up
00:48:13
to care for our son at 2:00 a.m. and for
00:48:15
putting him in bed with us,
00:48:17
I was stunned speechless. How do I
00:48:19
handle this? Do I tell her that I didn't
00:48:22
get up and take care of our son, let
00:48:23
alone put him in bed beside her? She
00:48:26
would freak out and think that I was
00:48:27
lying or [ __ ] with her.
00:48:29
So, I just sat there nodding my head in
00:48:31
stunned silence.
00:48:32
>> Honestly, that's probably smart in that
00:48:33
situation. Yeah, cuz she's literally
00:48:35
like a brand new mom.
00:48:36
>> you're just like, "Hey, you know."
00:48:38
>> of people, yeah.
00:48:39
So, we returned home around 9:00 that
00:48:41
night and found nothing out of the
00:48:42
ordinary. Doors and window sills were
00:48:44
still locked.
00:48:46
Or sorry, I keep reading sills as still.
00:48:47
It's my own fault. Doors and windows
00:48:49
still locked. Our bed frame and box
00:48:51
spring leaned securely against the
00:48:53
sliding glass door leading to our
00:48:54
carport, so I didn't worry too much
00:48:56
about the strange things that had
00:48:57
happened, telling myself that there was
00:48:59
a logical explanation for it. It's
00:49:01
important at this point to inject the
00:49:03
fact that we had earlier that day
00:49:05
unpacked a lot of our belongings and had
00:49:07
put up shelves and pictures in the
00:49:08
living room and the bedroom. One of the
00:49:10
shelves I had installed was above
00:49:12
Johnny's crib and held an array of
00:49:13
bedtime story books and stuffed animals,
00:49:15
toys, etc. The installed shelves in the
00:49:18
room
00:49:20
Did he say bright? Bright?
00:49:24
Bright. Bright?
00:49:25
>> Yeah. Hm. Hm. I don't know what that
00:49:27
means, Nicholas. Do you think we have
00:49:29
bright energy? Yeah. You're bright
00:49:31
today, for sure.
00:49:32
>> Um so, hold on, I just lost my place.
00:49:36
One of the shelves I had installed was
00:49:38
above Johnny's crib and held crib and
00:49:40
held an array of bedtime storybooks and
00:49:42
stuffed animals, toys, etc. The
00:49:44
installed shelves in the living room
00:49:45
held our collection of fantasy figures,
00:49:47
crystal dragons, carved wood wizards,
00:49:50
and various Dungeons and Dragons games
00:49:52
equip game equipment. You guys sound
00:49:53
awesome. Truly.
00:49:55
>> Okay. On to what caused us to move out
00:49:57
the next day and put the house back on
00:49:59
the market.
00:50:00
>> it's like two days later.
00:50:01
>> I forgot that it that was it, too. Angie
00:50:03
put our son to bed and her and I
00:50:04
snuggled on the couch and watched a
00:50:06
movie before going to bed. I slept hard
00:50:08
that night. Didn't hear our son wake up
00:50:10
for his 2:00 a.m. feeding or his diaper
00:50:11
changes. I woke early,
00:50:15
uh 5:00 a.m., and got up to make coffee
00:50:17
and surprise my wife with breakfast in
00:50:18
bed. Mark.
00:50:19
>> A good man. I noticed upon getting up
00:50:22
that our son was sound asleep snuggled
00:50:24
against his mother. I saw no baby powder
00:50:26
this morning. However, the coffee was
00:50:28
already brewed and mine and Angie's
00:50:30
coffee cups were set beside the coffee
00:50:31
maker along with the sugar bowl and the
00:50:34
creamer. I chose to ignore this and I
00:50:36
just made breakfast. Oh, biscuits and
00:50:38
gravy, eggs, ham, and English muffins
00:50:41
with butter and jam.
00:50:42
>> Holy [ __ ] Mark.
00:50:44
>> is a lucky lady.
00:50:45
>> [laughter]
00:50:45
>> I [ __ ] love biscuits and gravy.
00:50:48
Uh I placed Angie's breakfast on a tray
00:50:50
with a cup of coffee
00:50:52
uh prepared to her taste. Listen to
00:50:54
this. I mean, Mark.
00:50:56
>> A dream.
00:50:56
>> Mark forever.
00:50:57
>> I picked up the tray and I turned to go
00:50:59
to the bedroom and almost dropped the
00:51:00
tray because on the floor, not more than
00:51:02
3 ft away from me, sat a single red
00:51:06
long-stemmed rose in the center of a
00:51:09
ring of, you guessed it, baby powder.
00:51:14
>> What the [ __ ]
00:51:17
But like
00:51:19
this is so nice.
00:51:20
>> It's all so lovely.
00:51:22
>> It's so nice. Like is this
00:51:25
is this ghost making you coffee in the
00:51:27
morning because like
00:51:28
>> No, he literally he or she literally is.
00:51:30
>> That's sick.
00:51:31
>> And they also tended to your baby in the
00:51:32
night, perhaps twice. This is impulse
00:51:35
behavior, to be honest. But also is it
00:51:37
being nice to like lure you into a sense
00:51:39
of trust?
00:51:39
>> I don't trust it.
00:51:40
>> Yeah, I don't know.
00:51:42
I squatted down and I picked up the
00:51:43
rose. Oh, sorry, I skipped a sentence. I
00:51:46
know that there was no one else in the
00:51:47
house and Angie and Johnny were still
00:51:49
sound asleep. So, I squatted down and
00:51:51
picked up the rose, placing it on the
00:51:52
tray and mumbling a thank you under my
00:51:55
breath to whoever provided it.
00:51:57
>> that he's just like thank
00:51:58
>> He's like, yeah, we'll go with this.
00:51:59
Yeah, appreciate it.
00:52:01
>> [laughter]
00:52:01
>> I love and I love that they were just
00:52:03
like, here, babe. Add this to the
00:52:05
coffee.
00:52:05
>> You need this. This This is the piece de
00:52:07
resistance.
00:52:08
>> Yeah, of course. I love that.
00:52:09
>> So, I took the tray into Angie, woke her
00:52:11
up with a kiss, and gave her the tray.
00:52:13
Being very careful not to wake Johnny, I
00:52:15
picked him up and put him back in the
00:52:16
crib. I gave Angie a good morning kiss
00:52:18
and went to get my breakfast. And as I
00:52:20
entered the kitchen, I noticed that the
00:52:22
circle of baby powder was gone with no
00:52:26
sign of it ever existing.
00:52:28
What the [ __ ] That's insane.
00:52:32
I picked up my breakfast and joined
00:52:33
Angie. We ate and talked about things
00:52:35
that newly married couples discussed
00:52:37
until we had finished eating and John
00:52:39
woke up needing a diaper change. I took
00:52:41
the trays and dirty dishes into the
00:52:43
kitchen as Angie placed Johnny on the
00:52:45
bed to change him. I put the dishes in
00:52:47
the sink and rinsed them. Then I
00:52:48
unlocked the front door. That's when I
00:52:50
heard Angie's bewildered call for me. I
00:52:53
went into the room and I saw Angie
00:52:54
holding Johnny tight to her and staring
00:52:57
at the crib. I turned my gaze from Angie
00:52:59
to the crib and what I witnessed was as
00:53:02
a new parent, terrifying. Oh. In the
00:53:05
center of the crib, exactly where my son
00:53:07
had been moments ago, was stacked all of
00:53:10
our books.
00:53:12
Not just the bedtime stories, but
00:53:14
Dungeons and Dragons books as well.
00:53:17
Angie and I stared at each other for a
00:53:19
moment and I could see the fear in her
00:53:21
eyes. I took Johnny from her and told
00:53:23
her to get dressed. I swear that was the
00:53:25
quickest I have ever seen any woman get
00:53:27
dressed.
00:53:27
>> Oh my god.
00:53:28
>> Within 10 minutes we were in the car and
00:53:30
headed to Scott and Debbie's house. What
00:53:32
the [ __ ]
00:53:33
>> While Angie stayed inside Angie and
00:53:35
Johnny stayed inside with Debbie, Scott
00:53:37
and I returned to the house to get a few
00:53:39
needed items and lock up. When we
00:53:41
entered the bedroom to grab the diaper
00:53:42
bag and bottles, we noticed that the
00:53:44
shelves
00:53:46
the shelf was torn from the wall and was
00:53:49
in the crib as well. And the bottom of
00:53:52
it had collapsed and was on the floor.
00:53:56
I have goosebumps all down my arms and
00:53:58
legs right now.
00:53:59
>> What's so weird is that we're like, wow,
00:54:01
this is like really nice. And then we're
00:54:02
like, I don't trust it though. And then
00:54:04
that's when it got real dark. What the
00:54:06
[ __ ] Oh, I don't like this at all.
00:54:10
Scott and I just looked at each other,
00:54:11
grabbed what we needed, and left
00:54:13
quickly, almost forgetting to lock up.
00:54:15
If our son had been in the crib, he
00:54:17
would have been crushed.
00:54:18
>> Yeah. I didn't know until later that
00:54:20
night, the night before, neither Angie
00:54:22
and I had neither Angie or I had gotten
00:54:25
up and put Johnny in bed with us or had
00:54:27
gotten him his bottle, which was on the
00:54:29
bed when Scott and I had returned.
00:54:33
What the [ __ ] It almost feels like
00:54:35
there's like two energies at play Like
00:54:37
one of them was trying to get him out of
00:54:39
the crib.
00:54:39
>> Yeah.
00:54:40
>> was not a safe place.
00:54:41
>> Yeah. Damn.
00:54:42
>> What the [ __ ]
00:54:44
>> Yeah.
00:54:44
We didn't go back and put the house on
00:54:46
the market that same day.
00:54:48
Like we didn't go back to the house and
00:54:49
we put it on the market that same day.
00:54:51
So, that's my tale. What do you think?
00:54:53
There's no doubt that there was a spirit
00:54:55
in that house, but was it potentially
00:54:57
harmful or was it a protective spirit?
00:54:59
You decide. I think there was two. I
00:55:01
think there was two.
00:55:02
>> At least. I think Yeah.
00:55:05
I think there was two or I think there
00:55:07
was one that was like I said earlier,
00:55:09
like trying to lure you into a sense of
00:55:10
trust and calm and then like [ __ ] with
00:55:13
you for some reason.
00:55:14
>> But I think like they're moving the
00:55:15
baby, so it's like I don't I think there
00:55:16
was two. I think one was trying to cause
00:55:18
damage.
00:55:19
>> Yeah, I know. I don't I Yeah.
00:55:21
Ugh. Damn. Okay, so thank you so much
00:55:24
for reading my tale and stay weird, but
00:55:25
not so weird that a ghost prepares your
00:55:27
coffee for you and then moves your child
00:55:28
only to nearly crush him and spreads
00:55:30
baby powder all over your house. Looking
00:55:32
forward to future podcasts full of your
00:55:33
unique outlook and humor. Aw.
00:55:35
>> the great work. A loyal listener and
00:55:37
fellow weirdo, Mark. P.S. I apologize.
00:55:39
Yeah, thank you. I apologize for the
00:55:41
long story.
00:55:42
>> Never do. But sometimes the details make
00:55:44
the story. They really do. Follow up.
00:55:46
Recently I visited that town in Oregon
00:55:48
and out of curiosity I drove past the
00:55:50
house. It was still there. In the front
00:55:52
yard was a young couple and their
00:55:53
daughter. The couple were about the same
00:55:57
higher? I think so.
00:56:00
Is he taking it to a place of creed?
00:56:02
Nicholas wants us to take him higher? He
00:56:04
does. I don't know.
00:56:06
>> [clears throat]
00:56:06
>> The couple were about the same age as my
00:56:07
wife and I had been when we purchased
00:56:09
this house and their daughter was about
00:56:10
5 years old. I stopped, introduced
00:56:13
myself, and explained that many years
00:56:14
ago I had purchased that house and
00:56:16
explained to the couple what we had
00:56:17
experienced and I was curious if they
00:56:19
had any similar experiences in the
00:56:21
house. The young woman chuckled and
00:56:23
said, "You're talking about Mabel."
00:56:26
[ __ ] Mabel.
00:56:26
>> Hello.
00:56:27
>> Tell me about Mabel.
00:56:28
>> I was dumbfounded. She went on to say
00:56:30
that Mabel had been a huge help over the
00:56:32
5 years that they lived there. That more
00:56:35
than one she kept them safe from
00:56:36
everything from a fire in the basement
00:56:38
to a break-in. It seems I may have
00:56:41
jumped the gun on moving out. Um Mabel,
00:56:44
they had discovered, had been a young
00:56:46
single mother who was the original owner
00:56:48
of the house and had passed away in the
00:56:50
late 50s in a car accident. Her newborn
00:56:52
child had survived the accident and was
00:56:54
raised by her grandparents. And get
00:56:57
ready for it, was in fact the young
00:56:59
woman's grandmother. Holy [ __ ] Yep, her
00:57:03
mother's mother was in fact the very
00:57:06
spirit that to this day takes care of
00:57:08
their family and keeps them safe.
00:57:10
>> I love this.
00:57:11
>> They intend on never moving and will
00:57:13
pass the house on to their daughter when
00:57:15
she's old enough.
00:57:16
>> And Mabel will take care of her. That
00:57:18
was the most beautiful place to end that
00:57:20
listener tale, Mark.
00:57:21
>> Mark, you just gave me full chills.
00:57:23
>> Yeah, that's a beautiful story.
00:57:26
So, it was it was just one energy who
00:57:28
was like
00:57:29
I don't know, Mark. Maybe you messed up
00:57:31
>> a weird little yucky energy that Mabel
00:57:34
was trying to get rid of.
00:57:35
>> Yeah, maybe that's what it was. I was
00:57:36
about to tell you you just messed up
00:57:37
when you installed the shelves.
00:57:38
>> Yeah, maybe. I mean, maybe the shelves
00:57:39
are that as well. Shelves are are hard.
00:57:42
I also when Nicholas, cuz you've talked
00:57:44
about a fire that they she saved them
00:57:45
from a fire, I wanted to see if he said
00:57:47
higher or fire. Go ahead. Slither down.
00:57:50
I'll slither down.
00:57:52
Imagine if he said fire.
00:58:01
It was higher. Higher? Well, you
00:58:04
I don't know.
00:58:05
Yeah, I think he took it to a place of
00:58:07
creed.
00:58:07
>> He did. That's okay. Wow, guys, that was
00:58:09
a solid ass batch of listener tales.
00:58:12
>> a really solid batch of listener tales.
00:58:15
We had the mom turning off the
00:58:17
streetlights. We had a peeing on a
00:58:19
rapist computer.
00:58:20
>> Hell yeah.
00:58:21
>> We had [ __ ] Mark out here making
00:58:23
ghost breakfast. We had chained up men
00:58:26
in closets.
00:58:26
>> Chained up men in closets.
00:58:28
Oh, we had severed [ __ ] fingers. I
00:58:32
think my that was my trauma
00:58:34
of that story just like protecting me.
00:58:36
You were like, forget about that. No, we
00:58:38
had severed fingers.
00:58:39
>> Yeah, we had severed fingers. Those were
00:58:40
great. Yeah, I love them. You guys rock.
00:58:44
>> You rock. Out loud. We got Mark, we got
00:58:47
Sam, we got Rose.
00:58:50
>> Casey, we got Casey.
00:58:51
>> Rose. Boom. You guys rock out loud. We
00:58:54
love you and we hope you keep listening
00:58:57
and we hope you keep
00:59:00
Vanessa, we're that you don't send your
00:59:01
listener tales in to
00:59:03
00:59:04
Please make them a pun if I and I don't
00:59:06
know, make a snappy headline. Keep
00:59:09
sending them cuz these are too fun.
00:59:10
>> They're the best. We love this.
00:59:11
>> We never want to run out.
00:59:12
>> And we'll see you next month with a
00:59:15
pretty solid set of costumes.
00:59:17
>> Pretty solid. And with that we leave
00:59:20
you. Goodbye.
00:59:27
>> [music]
00:59:38
>> Mhm.