RETURN TO CHANNEL

Search Captions & Ask AI

Chris Rock LIVE in LA

May 14, 2026 / 01:13:47

Video

00:00:00

Guys, we got an exciting one. This is

00:00:03

not a repeat. This is a new version of

00:00:05

Chris Rock

00:00:06

>> uh live at the Oreium Theater, which we

00:00:09

>> live shot and had a blast. Always fun

00:00:12

with an audience, especially with Chris.

00:00:14

>> Yes. And um we're out there in three

00:00:16

chairs. We had our cameras. Pretty big

00:00:19

audience. I mean, the Netflix is a joke

00:00:22

is like 18 million shows. But uh Chris

00:00:25

was great. We learned a lot. We went in

00:00:27

some places that are very funny. I mean,

00:00:29

he just has a lot of stories that

00:00:31

involve a lot of well-known people, you

00:00:33

know, and there were some pretty

00:00:35

fascinating pulling some names out of

00:00:37

them. And uh God, we went back to SNL

00:00:40

again. We we always do that, but there's

00:00:42

always something.

00:00:44

We went back to pre-SNL,

00:00:46

>> how he met Sandler. Um

00:00:49

>> old Eddie Murphy stuff. Uh where he met

00:00:52

Eddie, uh a lot of great stuff that I

00:00:54

don't remember doing that in the first

00:00:55

time we talked. No, no, I learned a lot

00:00:57

and uh he was great. We had a great

00:00:59

time. Um we'll we're going to now tell,

00:01:03

you know, repeat some of the main jokes.

00:01:05

So, you go ahead. Now, we're not. But I

00:01:08

have to say, I did laugh a lot. He He

00:01:11

didn't walk through it. He came in in a

00:01:14

good mood, excited. The crowd was into

00:01:16

it.

00:01:16

>> And it's one of those fun ones where you

00:01:18

just start laughing and

00:01:20

>> we're just kind of all over the place

00:01:22

cracking each other up. It's great great

00:01:24

time. No further ado, or what do you

00:01:26

call it? No further ado. Is that the

00:01:28

phrase?

00:01:28

>> Close enough.

00:01:29

>> With no further ado.

00:01:30

>> Without further ado,

00:01:31

>> the one and only Chris Rock.

00:01:34

It's

00:01:34

>> almost over. Almost over.

00:01:38

>> 20 minutes.

00:01:40

>> You're over here.

00:01:43

>> Oh, he gets suspicious. Mine's w.

00:01:48

>> Wow. Wow.

00:01:50

>> People.

00:01:51

>> Okay.

00:01:52

Hello. Hi. There you go.

00:01:55

>> Can you see?

00:01:57

>> Wow.

00:01:59

>> Downtown.

00:02:00

>> This is kind

00:02:02

>> We are not doing standup. Just so you

00:02:04

know,

00:02:05

>> just everyone pours out. No, we

00:02:09

we decided where's the most dangerous

00:02:11

place we can do this and what's the

00:02:14

farthest?

00:02:16

And it took some took some work. What we

00:02:18

>> Ted Sando said 6:00 way downtown. I

00:02:21

said, "Teddy, I am in, brother. I'm

00:02:25

>> So, Chris, thanks for thanks for here.

00:02:28

I'm here cuz I want to be here.

00:02:31

>> This has nothing to do with my

00:02:34

contractual obligations

00:02:38

>> to Netflix and Ted Randos." Yes.

00:02:41

>> Yeah. Three different nothing to do with

00:02:44

that. It's all

00:02:45

>> nothing to do with my three special

00:02:46

deal.

00:02:48

>> Yeah.

00:02:50

>> And a pod. Well, we appreciate you

00:02:51

coming. Chris is one of my good buddies.

00:02:54

>> Little background on him. We did the old

00:02:56

SNL together. That's where I met him.

00:02:58

And uh

00:02:59

>> Right.

00:02:59

>> Such a Mhm.

00:03:02

>> Uh legitimately one of my uh best buds

00:03:05

in the show biz world and um would do

00:03:07

anything anything for this guy. So, I'm

00:03:09

really glad to see him in general. It's

00:03:11

good to see him here.

00:03:12

>> Uh Dana's fine, but uh

00:03:15

>> it's 91.

00:03:17

>> 91. I know. I don't like to throw these

00:03:19

out.

00:03:20

>> 91 Michael Jackson was alive.

00:03:22

>> Y

00:03:23

>> and you just got out of high and an

00:03:25

outstanding citizen.

00:03:29

>> Michael Jackson was killing,

00:03:30

>> right? 91 was a good

00:03:33

>> I waited on Michael Jackson as a bus boy

00:03:36

waiter in 1975

00:03:39

>> and I would bring him a plate of raw

00:03:41

carrots and they were playing the Circle

00:03:42

Star Theater, the Jackson 5. And there

00:03:45

he was. And he'd always

00:03:46

>> a plate of raw carrots. raw carrots and

00:03:48

he would look in a mirror after

00:03:50

>> [ __ ] rabbits.

00:03:52

>> I don't know. Janet was jumping up and

00:03:54

down on the bed. She's like 8 years old.

00:03:56

I go, "Please don't do that."

00:03:57

>> Oh, they were that small. Wow.

00:03:58

>> Yeah. Yeah. He's probably 14 or 15.

00:04:01

>> Wow.

00:04:01

>> Yeah.

00:04:02

>> And he was looking in the mirror and I

00:04:03

brought him the carrots and I got kind

00:04:04

of familiar and I said, "You know, you

00:04:06

could do a little something." And I just

00:04:08

dropped it, you know.

00:04:10

>> I felt terrible. That was pretty good.

00:04:12

Long way to go.

00:04:13

>> Joe, Chris Rock is our guest.

00:04:15

>> Yes.

00:04:17

Um,

00:04:17

>> oh, I don't know if we're going to keep

00:04:19

getting applause off that. We're going

00:04:21

to keep trying. Joe Jackson ordered

00:04:23

three eggs and a belt. Anyway, I saw the

00:04:26

movie.

00:04:30

No, wait. I'll tell you Michael Jackson

00:04:31

story, Chris.

00:04:32

>> So, 91 when you came in. What was your

00:04:34

first impression of

00:04:36

>> Sorry, I didn't know. Were you starting?

00:04:38

>> I did.

00:04:39

>> The monitors have a lot of reverb.

00:04:40

>> I feel like it's really kicking back.

00:04:42

Uh, if they The mics are a little hot.

00:04:44

Is that fountain? or I don't know. I

00:04:46

can't really understand what you're

00:04:47

saying. So, that's not a good thing, I

00:04:50

guess.

00:04:50

>> No, it is a Rock, you know about this.

00:04:54

Are we getting a lot of kickback on

00:04:56

these monitors or something?

00:04:56

>> If you were a sound engineer,

00:04:57

>> it feels echoey.

00:04:59

>> Uh,

00:05:01

>> did you guys did you guys do a sound

00:05:03

check?

00:05:06

>> Wouldn't that be great?

00:05:07

>> That's what That's what I do normally.

00:05:10

>> No.

00:05:10

>> Wouldn't that be professional? I' got

00:05:13

the sound check. I'm just

00:05:15

didn't have time.

00:05:18

>> No, it's wonderful.

00:05:19

>> I left my house at noon.

00:05:22

>> I was planning on getting there for a

00:05:24

sound check.

00:05:26

>> Oh, someone's screaming already.

00:05:27

>> We've just added a second show. That's

00:05:30

unbelievable.

00:05:32

You guys

00:05:32

>> I was going to tell you a story that is

00:05:34

so uninteresting, but I'm going to tell

00:05:36

it.

00:05:37

>> Uh I did This is my only brief Michael

00:05:40

Jackson uh

00:05:41

>> Oh, okay.

00:05:42

>> sex story. No, this is just my brief

00:05:45

interactions. I was out in town. I had a

00:05:48

joke about Michael Jax when I first

00:05:49

moved out here. Just throwaway joke. And

00:05:52

then the director of his videos uh was

00:05:57

uh was doing his latest one, Liberian

00:06:00

Girl, which wasn't a super banger, but

00:06:02

it was on

00:06:03

>> the director of Three Amigos.

00:06:05

>> No, God, I can't remember his name.

00:06:07

>> Filmopiles.

00:06:08

>> He did a lot of commercials and stuff.

00:06:09

Anyway,

00:06:10

>> uh Jim Yuk maybe. Um anyway, so he says,

00:06:13

"Hey, I'm doing this video and we're

00:06:15

just having all cameos,

00:06:17

>> but it was like Dan Akro. It was like

00:06:18

big stars and he goes, "Do you want to

00:06:20

be in it? You just we're just talking

00:06:21

and doing stuff. You could just say your

00:06:22

joke." So I said some stupid joke about

00:06:24

it, but I was so excited to be in it.

00:06:26

And then I wasn't in the video.

00:06:28

>> And then I saw the director maybe three

00:06:32

years ago and I said, "Hey," he goes,

00:06:33

"Do you remember me? I was the director

00:06:34

of that video you did." And I go, "Oh

00:06:36

yeah, I wasn't in it." And he goes, "Oh,

00:06:38

that's right." He goes, "You know what?

00:06:39

Funny story. I didn't want to hear He

00:06:41

goes, "I Michael would never talk to me

00:06:44

about editing, but I showed him a cut

00:06:46

and he called me in the middle of the

00:06:47

night and said, "Hey, who's David

00:06:49

Spade?" And he goes, "Oh, he's a

00:06:51

comedian." And he just had a joke about

00:06:53

you. So he put it in there and he goes,

00:06:54

"Take him out." And that and he goes,

00:06:57

"That was the only note for the whole

00:06:59

video. Take me out." I was like, "Wow."

00:07:02

>> And he goes, "Anyway, good seeing you."

00:07:03

And I'm like, "Well, now

00:07:06

that's what I got to live with about

00:07:07

Michael Jackson." So anyway, we got time

00:07:10

for one more.

00:07:11

>> My Michael Jackson story.

00:07:12

>> Oh, you got a Michael Jackson story.

00:07:14

This one will be way better.

00:07:15

>> Chris, we got cut out. Chris, you're up.

00:07:17

>> My Michael Jackson story. It's a weird

00:07:20

Okay, I got two.

00:07:23

>> Okay. No, no. The first time I hosted

00:07:25

the Oscars,

00:07:27

there was like a a crew guy, a guy in

00:07:30

the crew, like a a gaffer or something.

00:07:33

>> And I guess he used to work at Michael's

00:07:35

house or whatever, cuz Michael always

00:07:36

did all sorts of stuff. And the guy

00:07:39

literally gave me his phone. Somebody

00:07:41

wants to talk to you.

00:07:42

>> Oh wow.

00:07:43

>> And he gives me the phone saying, "Hey,

00:07:45

Chris, it's Michael.

00:07:47

>> Break a leg." Okay. And that was it.

00:07:51

>> That's better than mine already. Yeah.

00:07:53

That's [ __ ] cool, though. Man, of

00:07:56

words, but to the point. When was that?

00:07:58

How How long ago?

00:07:59

>> It was my It was the first time I

00:08:01

hosted. So, yeah. Yeah. He because I

00:08:03

remember when he passed away was in the

00:08:05

Woodman's chocolate wasted scene at in

00:08:08

grown-ups

00:08:09

>> when we yeah we were in we were in uh in

00:08:11

uh yeah

00:08:12

>> yeah on the picnic tables we went to

00:08:13

lunch

00:08:14

>> and someone said it I don't think we had

00:08:16

Instagram or anything but someone it's

00:08:17

the rumor went around where I was like

00:08:18

oh my god he just passed away

00:08:20

>> and I remember Mama Rosone

00:08:22

>> your mother-in-law in the movie

00:08:25

>> yes

00:08:25

>> was very sad it was hitting her very

00:08:27

hard and I told her it wasn't for sure

00:08:29

that it was just a rumor cuz I she had

00:08:31

to have a softer After landing, she was

00:08:33

totally already started crying.

00:08:35

>> She was really bad. She Yeah, but that

00:08:37

was uh Oh, that was in grown-ups

00:08:39

applause.

00:08:41

>> Thank you.

00:08:43

>> 181 million domestic.

00:08:45

>> 3,000 million.

00:08:47

You guys all got a car from Adam? I

00:08:50

understand.

00:08:51

Did you get a car?

00:08:52

>> I I I prefer money, but uh Yeah.

00:08:56

>> But we did get a car. It was great.

00:08:57

>> You got a car? Great. We got

00:08:59

>> What kind of car? Everyone loves hear

00:09:02

stories about rich people getting

00:09:04

richer.

00:09:06

>> You star in the movie. You're globally

00:09:08

famous and you get a car.

00:09:10

>> Yes.

00:09:11

>> Nice.

00:09:11

>> Everyone's like, "Oh, good for them."

00:09:15

>> Yeah, definitely. Right. In the homeless

00:09:17

capital of the world.

00:09:20

>> Don't believe me? Walk outside. Anyway,

00:09:23

um

00:09:25

>> we're literally inside. India is

00:09:27

outside.

00:09:30

We stumbled into India. Uh, so I heard

00:09:33

the other night you guys all went to the

00:09:35

comedy store. I missed out. It sounds

00:09:36

like fun. So you rolled with a pretty

00:09:38

fun crew. Um, the comedy store is always

00:09:41

fun. Like comedy seller when you go in,

00:09:43

there's tons of comics, but because this

00:09:45

is the festival, they're all kind of

00:09:47

smashed in and when they're lost or

00:09:49

don't have a sense of direction, you can

00:09:51

always go to the comedy store. And so

00:09:53

you went in. I heard it was you,

00:09:55

Chappelle, Kanye, Louie. Did anybody go

00:09:58

on or you just go in there to go watch?

00:10:00

>> Uh,

00:10:01

>> wait. Kanye West and Louis CK.

00:10:03

>> Yes. The the canceled all stars

00:10:05

>> because Dave

00:10:09

>> Mount Rushmore of it fits somehow. How

00:10:12

do you fit into that group? I I don't

00:10:15

understand that.

00:10:15

>> Chris is the nice fit.

00:10:17

>> I, you know, I'm cool. I'm like

00:10:18

Ludicrous. I'm cool with everybody.

00:10:22

>> Sure. So, you go in, do you watch or do

00:10:25

you just Does anybody go on? Dave went

00:10:27

on uh Shane Gillis, too. Shane Gillis,

00:10:30

>> another another home run hitter.

00:10:33

>> He's doing very well.

00:10:35

>> He's doing all right. So, yeah, Dave

00:10:36

went on Shane.

00:10:40

Uh Louie, then me, then Dave comes on

00:10:45

and brings out Kanye.

00:10:47

>> What What was his McDonald's bit?

00:10:51

people. I mean, Kanye's like uh I I

00:10:54

remember when people would do Letterman

00:10:57

and he was just so famous. It was

00:10:59

somebody said it was like sitting next

00:11:00

to a $5 bill, you know?

00:11:02

>> Yeah.

00:11:02

>> And Kanye, you don't like you're like,

00:11:05

is that a wax figure of Kanye? Like he's

00:11:07

just that famous.

00:11:08

>> Like, is that the real guy?

00:11:10

>> Yeah. Is that the real guy? Yeah.

00:11:11

>> And what does he say up there?

00:11:13

>> He's not saying much.

00:11:14

>> Yeah.

00:11:17

>> He gets away with low effort

00:11:19

>> right now. He's not saying much,

00:11:21

>> but he's a he's a fire brand

00:11:23

>> talking about his love of Seinfeld.

00:11:29

>> Yeah.

00:11:31

>> Yeah. It's funny. One of us was at the

00:11:33

chateau,

00:11:35

>> Chris. I was at the chateau and about

00:11:36

two months ago and then a girl walked by

00:11:38

and I go, "Who?" I said, "Some lady just

00:11:41

walked by in a full yoga or ballerina

00:11:44

outfit."

00:11:45

>> And then I go, "I wonder if there's

00:11:47

something going on here." And then I saw

00:11:48

Kanye and I go, "Oh, that's his wife,

00:11:51

right?" Yeah. Yeah.

00:11:53

>> And it kind of made sense like this is

00:11:55

she dresses in a unique like she's

00:11:57

always going to the Met or something.

00:11:59

>> Yeah. But it's weird if you talk to her,

00:12:02

she's so smart.

00:12:03

>> It's like talking to Diane Sawyer.

00:12:07

>> Really?

00:12:07

>> With huge tits.

00:12:09

>> Yeah.

00:12:13

>> Okay. Let's all think visualize that for

00:12:15

a second.

00:12:17

like like she's like,

00:12:18

>> "Yeah, I got it."

00:12:19

>> Good.

00:12:21

>> Beautiful.

00:12:21

>> I kind of when you meet him, I met him

00:12:23

at SNL on the 40th and him and Kim came

00:12:25

around and they both had deep blue eyes

00:12:28

and I just thought, "Shit, I guess they

00:12:29

have blue eyes." I didn't think they had

00:12:31

contacts. It was really weird.

00:12:33

>> Yeah, that was just a blue-eyed night,

00:12:35

you know.

00:12:35

>> Yeah. Remember when Do you remember when

00:12:37

I'm doing Chris Farley? You remember

00:12:39

when he was going to attack me and Mike?

00:12:41

We were doing Wayne's World. We had

00:12:43

Kanye. He they had people holding him

00:12:45

back like he was gonna attack us.

00:12:46

>> I remember that.

00:12:47

>> Was it a joke or was it

00:12:48

>> It was only 10 years ago.

00:12:50

>> Was he mad?

00:12:51

>> No, he was fake mad. He was great in the

00:12:53

sketch. It was like

00:12:54

>> Oh, did he host?

00:12:55

>> No, no, it was the 40th at the end of

00:12:57

the anniversary. Sorry.

00:12:59

>> I didn't make the 50th. The plane plane

00:13:01

was late. So

00:13:05

>> Oh, are you going to go to the 60th?

00:13:09

>> Lauren will be 112.

00:13:13

It's that thing of like uh you know

00:13:15

Lauren always said don't stop. He always

00:13:17

said that to me. You never stop. And he

00:13:19

said Sydney Pouier told that to him

00:13:22

>> and then he stopped.

00:13:26

>> Did Sydney Poier stop?

00:13:28

>> I got nothing.

00:13:29

>> This is podcasting paid.

00:13:32

>> I did a song with Kanye. I did. Anyway.

00:13:35

Anyway.

00:13:36

>> Well, what do you mean you did?

00:13:36

>> Let's hear a couple bars.

00:13:38

>> No, no, no. I just I'm on one of those

00:13:40

albums. one or two of them.

00:13:42

>> Do you talk or do you say did you rap?

00:13:44

>> I just talked. I just talked in this

00:13:46

song called Blame Game and um

00:13:49

>> yeah,

00:13:51

>> a song called Blame Game. Uh he coached

00:13:55

me two 4hour sessions in the studio that

00:14:00

he cut down to about three minutes or

00:14:04

two minutes

00:14:05

>> and yeah, he's kind of a genius. So, you

00:14:08

know, whatever I did that. Is it hard to

00:14:11

stay focused talking to him or is he

00:14:13

he's probably interesting guy, right?

00:14:14

>> Oh, no. He's very interesting guy.

00:14:16

>> No, he did he did something that was

00:14:18

brilliant. I don't know if he was the

00:14:19

first one, but he'd have people sampling

00:14:21

beats and rhythms and stuff and he would

00:14:23

just walk around, listen, do it, change

00:14:26

that, do that, get this, go with that,

00:14:27

you know. So, he's got an ear,

00:14:29

>> knows what he's doing. Yeah.

00:14:30

>> Yeah.

00:14:32

Let's talk for just a quick second about

00:14:35

upgrading your energy game because

00:14:37

caffeine doesn't have to be boring.

00:14:40

>> No.

00:14:41

>> Five hour energy shots are changing

00:14:42

things up with

00:14:44

>> tasty caffeine in 17 bold flavors.

00:14:47

>> The one I keep coming back to is the

00:14:49

birthday cake flavor. It literally

00:14:51

tastes

00:14:52

like I'd say a vanilla cake. Buttery

00:14:56

confetti style notes.

00:15:00

celebration in a bottle and somehow you

00:15:03

get all that flavor with zero sugar, no

00:15:06

cake, no guilt.

00:15:09

>> So it's So it's all cake, no guilt.

00:15:14

>> On top of that,

00:15:15

>> but you're not eating a real cake.

00:15:17

>> You're not eating a real cake. It tastes

00:15:19

like cake. On top of that, you're

00:15:21

getting as much caffeine as a 12 ounce

00:15:23

premium cup of coffee without the sugar

00:15:26

crash. And since it's just a 2 o shot,

00:15:29

it's easy to take with you wherever the

00:15:32

day goes. It's a big flavor packed into

00:15:33

a tiny bottle, David. And it actually

00:15:35

makes your energy boost something to

00:15:37

look forward to. Fuel your day with

00:15:40

tasty caffeine. Available in stores and

00:15:42

online at 5ourgy.com

00:15:44

or Amazon. Yep. Give your caffeine a

00:15:47

flavor upgrade with 5Hour Energy Shots.

00:15:49

Get yours in store and online at

00:15:52

www.fourenergy.com five hour energy.com

00:15:55

or Amazon today.

00:15:56

>> When you talk about you did top five the

00:15:59

movie, are your top five rappers the

00:16:01

same top five as they were when you

00:16:02

filmed?

00:16:03

>> My top five rappers, it probably changed

00:16:05

since top five the movie. I don't know.

00:16:07

Uh I would put Kanye number one. Uh I

00:16:11

would I don't know. Kanye, I'm really

00:16:14

I'm really loving Kendrick. Uh I

00:16:19

the the mo Kanye Kendrick I mean

00:16:25

God top five.

00:16:27

>> Mhm.

00:16:28

>> Uh Tupac didn't like me.

00:16:30

>> One hour.

00:16:31

>> Uh

00:16:33

>> wait a minute. That's a chapter. Tupac

00:16:35

didn't like me.

00:16:36

>> Tupac did not like me.

00:16:37

>> I didn't hear that. That's

00:16:39

>> see eye to eye on everything. Uh Snoop.

00:16:43

>> Snoop.

00:16:44

very very underrated but he's could get

00:16:48

everybody up.

00:16:48

>> JCole,

00:16:49

>> he's the most popular man in America.

00:16:52

>> Okay.

00:16:53

>> And then

00:16:55

>> does Eminem get any sugar?

00:16:56

>> Then Jay-Z,

00:16:58

>> then Eminem.

00:16:59

>> Then

00:17:00

>> interesting. Just on the

00:17:02

>> ice cubed then Eminem.

00:17:04

>> I like Eminem. Eminem's fine.

00:17:05

>> Yeah.

00:17:06

>> Eminem's to be listened to. You know

00:17:08

what I mean? Eminem is strictly for your

00:17:11

car. He's not like

00:17:15

What? What could you and Tupac not get

00:17:18

along about? That sounds so funny.

00:17:19

>> It was weird. It was um

00:17:21

>> cuz I had the same problem. It was just

00:17:24

>> I rubbed him wrong.

00:17:26

>> I mean, a you know, it's always the same

00:17:28

[ __ ] [ __ ] the same girls, right?

00:17:30

That's the first, right?

00:17:32

>> Like two, it's always like ah I saw

00:17:35

whatever, right?

00:17:36

>> He he always won that battle. But um

00:17:41

no, I remember I um one year at the MTV

00:17:44

awards, I presented some award.

00:17:46

>> Uh oh.

00:17:47

>> And uh Suge Knight was in the audience

00:17:49

and I did like some joke about Suge or

00:17:52

whatever the [ __ ] And then there was

00:17:54

the afterparty at uh Bryant Park

00:17:57

>> and

00:17:59

you know and I just had that special uh

00:18:01

bring the pain and Kanye and

00:18:05

>> not Kanye and Tupac was like what's up

00:18:08

with all that [ __ ] and black people

00:18:09

[ __ ] like like and he kind of

00:18:13

>> he kind of stepped to me but I didn't

00:18:16

Tupac was not that big. Everybody he he

00:18:19

photographs big but he's not that big. I

00:18:22

was like, you know, I was pretty skinn

00:18:24

I'm still pretty skinny. So, a skinny

00:18:26

guy can't wait to fight a skinny guy.

00:18:28

You know what I mean?

00:18:29

>> Yeah.

00:18:31

>> You're like, really?

00:18:33

Uh, but not nothing happened. Nothing

00:18:35

happened, but we definitely had a little

00:18:37

like,

00:18:39

>> you know,

00:18:39

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

00:18:40

>> There was definitely some mean mugging

00:18:42

going on. And I remember that and I just

00:18:45

remember that night everybody was scared

00:18:46

of Suge and like like Eric B. You

00:18:50

remember Eric B and Rock Kim?

00:18:52

>> And Eric,

00:18:55

>> it's like Eric B used to live in my

00:18:56

neighborhood and he was such a big drug

00:18:59

dealer that he uh like before he had a

00:19:03

record out, the guy had a Rolls-Royce on

00:19:05

[ __ ]

00:19:07

on like Myrtle Avenue. Okay. Like that

00:19:10

kind of drug dealer.

00:19:11

>> That's good.

00:19:12

>> And he was like, "Why'd you talk about

00:19:14

Suge?" I'm like, "If this guy is scared

00:19:16

of Suge,

00:19:17

>> yeah,

00:19:18

>> we're all in trouble." Like

00:19:20

>> I think even white people knew to be

00:19:22

scared of sugar.

00:19:23

>> Hammer was like, "Why' you do that?"

00:19:25

>> Hammer.

00:19:27

>> Hammer.

00:19:28

>> MC Hammer.

00:19:29

>> MC Hammer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

00:19:30

>> MC Hammer.

00:19:31

>> I've seen I've met them all.

00:19:32

>> Yeah.

00:19:33

>> I'm like Black Gump, man. I've met them

00:19:35

all.

00:19:37

>> I've been through every so many weird

00:19:41

eras of show

00:19:44

>> Eddie Murphy, Michael Jackson.

00:19:46

>> Did does anyone you

00:19:47

>> Kurt Cobain? We didn't meet.

00:19:50

>> We met Kurt.

00:19:51

>> Oh, you did meet Kurt. Oh, wow.

00:19:53

>> You were there. We met Kurt.

00:19:55

>> Yeah, I hosted the MTV Music Awards when

00:19:57

they were on. Oh, yeah.

00:19:58

>> Where the guy threw the bass up and

00:19:59

almost fell on his head.

00:20:00

>> Hey, man. I once went to a black church

00:20:03

with Courtney Love. Okay.

00:20:06

>> Now, black women get mad when they see

00:20:08

you with a white girl anytime.

00:20:12

But when you walk into a black church

00:20:14

with Courtney Love,

00:20:17

>> what were you thinking?

00:20:19

>> Whose idea was it?

00:20:21

>> They're like literally cursing like,

00:20:23

"WHAT THE WHAT THE GODDAMN [ __ ] IS GOING

00:20:25

ON?"

00:20:29

>> What the godamn [ __ ]

00:20:32

Ah,

00:20:34

>> yeah. I remember Kurt and Courtney

00:20:35

sitting on the on the ground by the page

00:20:38

desk in that hallway just between songs

00:20:42

and just hanging out on the floor. Uh

00:20:44

the I think they they were in music

00:20:46

twice

00:20:47

>> and one time I definitely remember that

00:20:48

I definitely seeing them in the

00:20:51

cafeteria and we had dinner after they

00:20:53

rehearsed

00:20:54

>> and just but you didn't know. I mean no

00:20:56

one knew it was big the second time they

00:20:58

came on. They were a bigger deal. But

00:20:59

it's definitely fun when you're back

00:21:01

there and you see all the hosts or music

00:21:03

that you love and then they're just

00:21:05

stuck talking to you.

00:21:06

>> Who's the host when you were there that

00:21:07

kind of blew you away or nervous to meet

00:21:10

kind of

00:21:11

>> um

00:21:12

>> because it's weird in SNL you just

00:21:13

you're in your office or something, the

00:21:15

host is in up front and then they'll say

00:21:18

Charlton H would like to say hello.

00:21:20

You're like what? Yeah.

00:21:22

>> You know, I mean, some of those nons

00:21:25

don't know. They were all big stars.

00:21:27

Just some I remember being

00:21:31

>> and the guy has always been great, but I

00:21:33

couldn't believe how talented Tom Hanks

00:21:36

was.

00:21:37

>> Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

00:21:38

Absolutely.

00:21:39

>> You know, you'd be at the the read

00:21:40

through and he could do like nine

00:21:42

different voices and you know, and he

00:21:44

was reading everything Cole and he was

00:21:47

just crushing everything. you like

00:21:50

>> sometimes you realize this is why

00:21:52

they're famous.

00:21:52

>> Yeah.

00:21:53

>> Because you go some people would bring

00:21:54

real star there's like a star power

00:21:57

about them like you go this person's a

00:21:59

star and then there's some that sort of

00:22:00

flatline during the week and I go I

00:22:02

don't get it. You even you can just see

00:22:04

them read sketches and you go

00:22:06

>> they got nothing. I mean it's hard to do

00:22:09

the show.

00:22:10

>> It's hard to read. My favorite was

00:22:11

Steven Seagal.

00:22:13

>> Uh

00:22:14

>> oh yeah. Steven Seagal comes on. Okay.

00:22:18

So there's there's this um

00:22:20

>> the legends of Steven Seagal was he was

00:22:22

a a bodyguard for Mike Obitz or

00:22:24

something.

00:22:25

>> Yeah. Agent Tai Chi.

00:22:27

>> Tai Chi or whatever.

00:22:29

>> Martial artist. Yeah.

00:22:30

>> Whatever. And

00:22:32

>> so he's like this kind of move kind of

00:22:35

like this be movie star. And

00:22:39

C C there

00:22:41

>> C B was a little strong. Yeah.

00:22:44

>> B plus. She's like, "Scott Bale's B and

00:22:48

he's under Scott."

00:22:51

>> I personally really like Scott Bale.

00:22:53

>> I like Scott. I like Scott. Anyway, and

00:22:56

I remember we're he's at the readthrough

00:23:00

table

00:23:01

and he's at the front.

00:23:03

>> Yeah.

00:23:03

>> And it's time to read the first sketch

00:23:06

and Steven Seagal picks up this thing

00:23:09

and starts to read. And you realize at

00:23:12

that moment he's never auditioned for

00:23:14

anything in his life. Oh yeah.

00:23:16

>> You realize at that moment there is a

00:23:18

really a mafia

00:23:20

>> and they got him in.

00:23:21

>> You literally shove this guy on a

00:23:22

[ __ ] movie.

00:23:23

>> Yeah. Cole reading is hard to do anyway.

00:23:26

>> It's hard anyway. But

00:23:27

>> and you're in front of all these people.

00:23:28

And

00:23:29

>> what was the one with Tommy Lee Jones on

00:23:30

the boat?

00:23:31

>> Even Trump's like, "Pick it up." You

00:23:33

know,

00:23:34

>> pick it up. So it, you know, when we

00:23:38

were when he came on, uh Kevin and I did

00:23:40

Hansen Fron at the read through. Thank

00:23:43

you.

00:23:45

And we were making fun of Steven was

00:23:47

just button. He's got the script. And

00:23:49

we're doing stuff like Arnold could

00:23:51

definitely flick you with his little

00:23:53

little finger and you would fly across

00:23:55

the room and land in your own baby poop

00:23:58

avalanche.

00:23:59

>> And he's just like this reading. Yes.

00:24:01

Okay. Right. You know that kind of

00:24:02

stuff. So then we're rehearsing on 88h

00:24:05

on Thursday just like here. Basically we

00:24:07

read the scene. He doesn't he's never

00:24:09

said a word whether he liked or didn't

00:24:11

like the sketch. and he gets on the show

00:24:13

and then we cut for a rehearsal. He

00:24:15

walks off way off to the side and he's

00:24:17

just staring up the bleachers. I don't

00:24:19

know what he's doing. I'll go over and

00:24:20

talk to him and say, "Stephen, are you

00:24:22

okay?" And this is the quote exactly

00:24:24

like this, not looking at me. I just

00:24:27

wish Arnold was here so I could kick his

00:24:29

[ __ ] ass.

00:24:34

>> So for 72 hours, he was steamed about

00:24:37

that sketch.

00:24:40

And I did tell Arnold 6 months later in

00:24:43

Santa Monica in a restaurant with a foot

00:24:45

long cigar with all the Austrian guys

00:24:47

around him. I go, "Stephen Seagull says

00:24:48

he kick your ass, you know." And Arnold

00:24:50

just leaned back and went, "Is that the

00:24:53

fact?"

00:24:56

It's true. Absolutely true. Not a bit.

00:24:59

Is that the fact?

00:25:01

>> Any blue smoke greens, it's still girly

00:25:03

man.

00:25:05

>> You better see if it's a golf story.

00:25:07

>> No. You know who else? But I thought,

00:25:08

you know, else was I was a little star

00:25:10

struck by was Michael Jordan.

00:25:12

>> And Michael Jordan was the biggest host

00:25:14

of our time.

00:25:15

>> Yeah, definitely.

00:25:16

>> And he was still playing, right? Was he

00:25:19

still playing?

00:25:20

>> It was before McDonald's with Michael.

00:25:22

>> Oh, we did. We went down and went to

00:25:24

McDonald's underneath.

00:25:25

>> We went to McDonald's with [ __ ]

00:25:28

lifetime bucket list thing and I spaced

00:25:30

it. We went down and he goes, "Let's all

00:25:33

go." Yeah. Like during rehearsal, let's

00:25:35

all run down.

00:25:36

>> He was special. You and I used to go to

00:25:37

McDonald's all the time. That's why

00:25:39

we're so malnutrition. I ate there so

00:25:42

much. We never made that much money and

00:25:44

it was always like scraping. But u I did

00:25:47

remember that we went there and there

00:25:49

was that sketch in the 50s where Rob was

00:25:52

the announcer. Oh, they're really giving

00:25:54

the referees the business. And we were

00:25:56

an all-white team. We didn't want

00:25:57

Michael on our team. Remember that?

00:26:03

And he and he's like at halftime going,

00:26:05

"Can someone pass me the ball?"

00:26:08

>> Did you guys have any interaction with

00:26:10

Michael? Like personal

00:26:11

>> I I don't remember. I mean I

00:26:15

>> He was so intimidating because

00:26:17

>> he was a sweetheart. He was I was

00:26:19

>> sweet, but it was just like he came up

00:26:20

to me and he goes, "Uh, do you golf?"

00:26:23

And I go, "Well, a little bit. You know,

00:26:24

what do you shoot?" I go, "I'm terrible.

00:26:26

I I don't know. I maybe a hundred or

00:26:29

something." And he just paused and he

00:26:30

was very serious. He goes, "Um, well,

00:26:32

you're not very good, are you?"

00:26:36

>> He said, "No, I'm not." Anyway, he was

00:26:40

he was The other one was Mel Gibson.

00:26:43

When Mel Gibson in his handsome prime

00:26:45

hosted, I'd never seen the staff, the

00:26:48

women on the staff get that crazy. Do

00:26:50

you remember that?

00:26:51

>> Well, I was not there for Mel Gibson,

00:26:53

>> and he is a hottie.

00:26:54

>> I did a I did a

00:26:56

>> You did Oh, you did Lethal Weapon Lethal

00:26:58

Weapon.

00:26:58

>> I did uh Lethal Weapon 4.

00:27:01

with uh

00:27:04

>> with uh Mel Gibson before the you know

00:27:08

>> sugar tits

00:27:09

>> just another guy that really loves

00:27:13

Seinfeld right about now.

00:27:18

>> There's a theme there.

00:27:20

>> I love this theme.

00:27:23

>> Yeah, go Wikipedia. Ask

00:27:26

>> I just You got to be cancelled for me to

00:27:27

be friends with you.

00:27:29

Why do celebrities who drink not get a

00:27:33

driver

00:27:35

>> or an Uber or or a Whimo?

00:27:39

>> Why is Tiger Woods still

00:27:41

>> see you later? I'm taking the

00:27:42

Oldsmobile. I mean,

00:27:44

>> you know what?

00:27:44

>> Take the keys away.

00:27:46

>> I think too many I knew Tiger was in

00:27:48

trouble.

00:27:50

>> He was uh that, you know, had the whole

00:27:53

cheating and whatever and his wife beat

00:27:55

up the thing. Then he had a press

00:27:57

conference with all his friends and he

00:27:59

apologized. Now, right,

00:28:01

>> Tiger's black and Asian and he has a

00:28:03

press conference with his friends and

00:28:05

none of them are black or Asian.

00:28:08

>> Oh, what are they?

00:28:10

>> I was like, okay,

00:28:13

>> sometimes if you're that famous,

00:28:15

>> you got to have a Mario Joiner in there

00:28:17

somewhere. You got to

00:28:20

>> somebody.

00:28:21

>> No, but

00:28:22

>> Steve Harvey, I don't know. Somebody

00:28:26

somebody come on. It's like not one.

00:28:30

>> But if he's doing some things that he I

00:28:33

if he's that level of fame, I think he

00:28:36

just doesn't want a witness.

00:28:38

>> You know what I mean? You don't want

00:28:39

someone knowing what you're doing,

00:28:41

hearing you talk on the phone,

00:28:43

>> and just quietly taking in info.

00:28:45

>> Doesn't work cuz he has the money to

00:28:47

hire a new driver twice a day.

00:28:51

>> Is that the fix? You drive in the

00:28:52

morning, now you're out.

00:28:53

>> Well, I guess you should have a

00:28:54

full-time driver. Yeah. I mean, yeah,

00:28:56

you can't have a full

00:28:57

>> And you're not paying them to drive.

00:28:59

You're paying them to shut the [ __ ] up.

00:29:03

>> Exactly.

00:29:04

>> Exactly.

00:29:06

>> Everybody could drive.

00:29:09

>> I can't find anyone else. Shut the [ __ ]

00:29:11

up.

00:29:11

>> But only the good ones can shut the [ __ ]

00:29:13

up.

00:29:14

>> Yeah.

00:29:14

>> Right.

00:29:15

>> And if they're deaf and mute, it's

00:29:17

better.

00:29:17

>> How you doing, Mr. ROCK? OH, YOU GOT

00:29:20

THREE PROSTITUTES. I ain't seeing

00:29:22

nothing.

00:29:23

>> Yeah,

00:29:26

>> I love fake driving. It's not

00:29:29

>> It's like 1941

00:29:31

steering.

00:29:32

>> All right, Tiger. We're going to the

00:29:33

cause now.

00:29:34

>> That's what you're paying for.

00:29:37

>> Silence.

00:29:38

>> That's

00:29:40

>> That was a good topic.

00:29:43

>> That was a good topic.

00:29:44

>> Where we at?

00:29:45

>> Hey, it's your podcast.

00:29:47

>> You've been busy. I can't

00:29:50

Why were you at the Met Gal? I was

00:29:52

looking for you.

00:29:53

>> Um I don't know. I don't know.

00:29:55

>> You didn't have anything stupid enough

00:29:56

to wear.

00:29:56

>> I went last year. I didn't go to show.

00:29:58

Who

00:29:58

>> did you go best? Who wore it best?

00:30:00

>> I went last year. I didn't go to show.

00:30:01

I've been a couple of times.

00:30:02

>> Do you wear something weird or just a

00:30:04

tux?

00:30:04

>> Um just a tux. Just a tux. I've been a

00:30:07

couple of times. I don't I still don't

00:30:09

know what it's for.

00:30:12

>> Is there anything after those stairs?

00:30:15

Because once they get to that,

00:30:17

>> I would just go home.

00:30:20

>> Yeah. This this it's nothing. Like I got

00:30:23

invited last year and the year before

00:30:27

that I was like trying to save a

00:30:29

relationship.

00:30:30

>> Oh.

00:30:31

>> Oh, really interesting.

00:30:33

>> Hey, maybe if I take her to the Met

00:30:35

Ball. Nope.

00:30:36

>> Yeah.

00:30:39

>> Maybe if maybe I'm going to take you

00:30:40

around more famous people. That's the

00:30:43

tough one.

00:30:43

>> Yeah. Yeah. What goes on? I mean, we've

00:30:46

we only see the red carpet, right? And

00:30:48

then what goes on after that?

00:30:50

>> You eat shrimp.

00:30:52

>> You eat shrimp. You can't eat shrimp.

00:30:55

>> A lot of rich people. Lot of rich techy

00:30:59

>> white people.

00:31:00

>> They like, "Oo, this is Bob uh Zaminga

00:31:05

and his family owns the button."

00:31:10

>> They invented the button.

00:31:12

This is like all the buttons on the

00:31:15

world.

00:31:15

>> You ever heard about buttons?

00:31:16

>> Own all the buttons on earth.

00:31:19

>> Yeah.

00:31:20

>> If you're nice to him, he'll let you on

00:31:22

his boat.

00:31:23

>> Yeah.

00:31:24

>> You got to have a This is

00:31:26

>> He gets a piece of

00:31:27

>> Kelly Blue BL and her family owns green.

00:31:33

>> Just green.

00:31:35

>> Yeah. Jeff Basos has a 500 bill what a

00:31:40

million dollar boat. It's like a

00:31:42

thousand foot long. It's got a sail.

00:31:44

It's got another boat behind it. He's

00:31:45

selling it because, quote, "It draws too

00:31:48

much attention."

00:31:52

>> God bless.

00:31:52

>> Maybe it's the five. I do like his wife

00:31:54

though.

00:31:55

>> Lauren Sanchez. You got to root for

00:31:56

that.

00:31:57

>> I've known Lauren a little while. Yeah.

00:31:59

Lauren.

00:32:00

>> Have you been on that one?

00:32:01

>> I have not been on that boat.

00:32:04

>> Have you been on George Lucas's?

00:32:07

>> Have you been on Geffin's boat?

00:32:09

>> I've been on some boats.

00:32:11

I like

00:32:12

>> I I have a problem with a boat

00:32:14

invitation. Yes.

00:32:16

>> You'd rather float than sink.

00:32:18

>> Hey, I I tell some jokes and I you know

00:32:21

>> get on boats

00:32:22

>> and I get on boats.

00:32:23

>> You get on boats. What? You don't have

00:32:25

to say the name of the owner, but what's

00:32:26

the best boat you've been on that you

00:32:28

weren't? Holy [ __ ]

00:32:29

>> I I

00:32:29

>> They're all nice, right?

00:32:30

>> They're all They're all nice.

00:32:33

>> Your own.

00:32:33

>> And it's, you know, to be black and to

00:32:35

get on a boat leisurely is a

00:32:39

>> is a Okay.

00:32:41

>> It's a great thing. It's like

00:32:44

>> Okay.

00:32:45

>> It's like, "Oo, I'm up top."

00:32:48

>> You know, Chris, I don't know if you're

00:32:50

working on your standup, but you've got

00:32:52

you got at least four bangers in here

00:32:54

that you can expect and this is being

00:32:56

recorded.

00:32:57

>> But that is a great line.

00:32:58

>> I'm like, "Woo!"

00:32:59

>> You go to Met Gallas, you go to the

00:33:01

Oscars, you go on boats. Well, you're

00:33:03

living my I just know my kids are grown.

00:33:05

I go out.

00:33:06

>> Yeah. I know you from out the house. you

00:33:09

would get a tuna sandwich and you're

00:33:11

just in a sketch and now good lord

00:33:14

>> look at us.

00:33:15

>> All right. I found it kind of

00:33:17

interesting that you did SNL and then

00:33:18

you did in Living Color and then you

00:33:21

were sort of I think you did a movie or

00:33:22

something. You're just sort of in it

00:33:24

like this and then you did bring the

00:33:25

pain and I remember watching it and went

00:33:28

oh something just happened like

00:33:30

something new happened with that special

00:33:33

because I think you said you weren't

00:33:34

serious. At least that's the quote I

00:33:36

mean you weren't serious. I left SNL.

00:33:40

>> I went to Living Color.

00:33:45

>> Um,

00:33:46

>> I was in Living Color. Was it their last

00:33:47

season or close to

00:33:48

>> It was their last season. Of course,

00:33:50

soon as I get there, the Waynees quit.

00:33:53

>> Cuz that's they were a big part of that.

00:33:55

>> That's just the luck of me. You know

00:33:57

what I mean? Like

00:34:00

>> the Waynees quit the show. They are the

00:34:02

show.

00:34:02

>> Yeah.

00:34:02

>> Well, you had Jim Carrey, right? you got

00:34:05

Jim Carrey, you got

00:34:06

>> that's that's me.

00:34:08

>> Uh so I get there cuz I I I felt I don't

00:34:11

know. I just felt a cultural shift.

00:34:14

>> But uh then that show gets cancelled

00:34:17

and so I got no job.

00:34:20

>> I got no job. Uh no TV job. You know

00:34:24

that that good TV money. What happened

00:34:27

was I bought a house in Brooklyn and uh

00:34:31

I bought a carriage house that I would

00:34:33

that I would later lose a divorce. But

00:34:36

anyway, uh I bought a carriage house.

00:34:39

>> Sorry. Everyone loses a carriage house

00:34:41

in a divorce at some point.

00:34:44

>> I don't know. I just had a big ass

00:34:46

mortgage and I had to do more shows.

00:34:49

>> Okay.

00:34:49

>> And when I did more shows, I got [ __ ]

00:34:52

better. And at some point my brother,

00:34:56

I'm not gonna say the comedian because

00:34:57

that would be disrespectful, but me and

00:34:59

my brother went to see a comedian at

00:35:02

Radio City,

00:35:03

>> right?

00:35:04

>> And like like normal people, like we got

00:35:06

we made some calls and we got some

00:35:08

tickets

00:35:09

>> and

00:35:12

I'm a comedian, right? And I like I can

00:35:16

count on one hand the amount of times

00:35:17

I've sat in an audience for a comedy

00:35:19

show. Right.

00:35:19

>> Right.

00:35:20

>> And

00:35:21

I left the show. show. I thought it was

00:35:23

great. I thought the show was great and

00:35:24

the go the show was great, but my

00:35:26

brother my brother Andre goes, "You're

00:35:29

better than that guy. The [ __ ] out of

00:35:32

here." And it hadn't occurred to It's

00:35:35

like when the sometimes the the the kid

00:35:37

that's getting bullied gets bigger than

00:35:39

the bully.

00:35:41

>> Yeah.

00:35:41

>> And doesn't realize it yet.

00:35:43

>> Right. So, right around that time, it

00:35:46

took my brother telling me that I was

00:35:48

better

00:35:50

to actually snap me out of this.

00:35:53

>> And this was kind of a national

00:35:54

headliner. This was

00:35:56

>> And then like Yeah. And then, you know,

00:35:58

it's like one of those Rocky montages

00:35:59

where I'm just knocking [ __ ]

00:36:01

out. Like I'm just like I was just I had

00:36:04

gotten a lot better just just from

00:36:06

trying to pay for this house.

00:36:07

>> Yeah.

00:36:08

>> I got really good.

00:36:10

>> That's great.

00:36:11

>> So, get a big mortgage. Yeah,

00:36:14

>> everyone's like a comedy club and you

00:36:17

know

00:36:17

>> Yeah, but I I I was out of show, but I

00:36:19

was I mean, put it this way, too. I had

00:36:21

given up. I'd been in a few movies. I'd

00:36:24

been on Siren Live. I've been on Living

00:36:25

Color. I kind of thought I was done.

00:36:29

>> As far as like being a famous person,

00:36:31

>> right?

00:36:32

>> Right.

00:36:32

>> So, my concern, not even a concern, I

00:36:35

was like, "Okay, I love standup." And

00:36:39

all I wanted out of standup, and this is

00:36:42

like this guy's a big star, but all I

00:36:44

wanted out of standup was to be George

00:36:46

Wallace.

00:36:48

>> Okay?

00:36:48

>> Like George Wallace to me was like a

00:36:52

great standup.

00:36:52

>> A great standup crushes every night.

00:36:56

>> Never want to follow. would he would

00:36:58

come in to the club, you know, the only

00:37:00

other black guy, by the way, and he had

00:37:03

great suits on

00:37:05

>> and he had a [ __ ] Cadillac and he was

00:37:09

opening for bands in Vegas and whatnot.

00:37:13

And he was the only he was the only guy

00:37:16

I knew that was so organized. He had

00:37:18

like a real schedule. like he didn't

00:37:20

work in the summer like like he would

00:37:22

actually vacation and he had houses here

00:37:25

and there and I was like man if I can

00:37:27

just be like George Wallace

00:37:29

>> then then my dream that's that's what I

00:37:31

took it seriously he was but that guy

00:37:33

was like a Jedi

00:37:35

>> like he wasn't thinking about being on

00:37:37

TV or a sitcom or a movie

00:37:41

just working comedian was like okay

00:37:44

that's what I want to be I want to be a

00:37:46

focused great comedian that other

00:37:49

comedian Ians respect soon as I walk in

00:37:51

the walk in the room.

00:37:52

>> Well, that's what I wanted to ask you

00:37:53

because you know Gaffigan, Jim Gaffigan,

00:37:56

Jerry Seinfeld, these are they get with

00:37:59

the tape or they get with their notes. I

00:38:01

mean Jerry gets nervous if he needs that

00:38:03

one hour a day with his notes. Were you

00:38:04

like that or was just the reps on stage

00:38:07

or did you record it and listen because

00:38:09

that's very painful to do for a

00:38:11

>> I would record it. I would listen the

00:38:14

next day.

00:38:14

>> Okay. I mean, also I was one of these,

00:38:16

you know, I'll I'll give this me and my

00:38:18

my ex-wife go back and forth. She I I

00:38:21

you know, I was I was a Yes. I was I had

00:38:24

been on Saturday Night Live. I've been

00:38:25

in New Jack City. I was, you know, a a

00:38:30

mini millionaire at the time, but when I

00:38:32

met her, I grew as a person,

00:38:36

>> you know what I mean? Because I'd never

00:38:37

really had a relationship, a a grownup

00:38:40

relationship. Gotcha. So as I was

00:38:42

growing up as a person, I was growing up

00:38:46

as a comic,

00:38:48

>> you know. So I I just I just had IS

00:38:54

wider way

00:38:56

>> and the better I you know, and it

00:38:58

>> I I lucked up, you know what I mean? I I

00:39:00

lucked up in the sense that

00:39:03

>> you know, wow, [ __ ] I've been around a

00:39:05

long time. So,

00:39:07

um, you know, I guess there's

00:39:09

channeling, but I'm one of the first

00:39:11

cable stars, you know what I mean? Like,

00:39:14

>> right,

00:39:14

>> you know what I mean? Like, it was, it

00:39:15

was like, it when I broke it, it it was

00:39:18

not

00:39:19

>> from television at all. It wasn't from

00:39:21

normal TV at all.

00:39:22

>> It was from cable TV. So, I was like

00:39:25

this HBO thing.

00:39:27

>> HBO was Bring the Pain. And it got a lot

00:39:29

of awards and recognition. Got awards.

00:39:32

Critics loved it. And for some reason,

00:39:34

you know how it's just a joke sticks in

00:39:36

your head. Something about peanut butter

00:39:38

and jelly in the same jar. I don't know

00:39:40

why. I never forgot that. I don't know

00:39:42

why.

00:39:42

>> What is that joke? My We were so poor.

00:39:44

My My mother used to buy the peanut

00:39:46

butter and the jelly same jar. That's

00:39:50

like buying a a a shoe with a sock sold

00:39:54

inside.

00:39:57

>> Call it a shock.

00:39:59

>> Oh, a shock. Yeah.

00:40:03

When did you do Ninja with Farley?

00:40:06

>> I did Beverly Hills Ninja with Chris

00:40:08

Far. That was like me being

00:40:10

>> Was that when you were

00:40:12

>> That was before Bring the Pain.

00:40:14

>> That was That was after Living Color.

00:40:18

That was me broke as [ __ ]

00:40:21

>> Just take Well, you take it for the

00:40:22

money, right? You just go I'll just go

00:40:23

do a

00:40:23

>> Yeah. I was like Well, I was like, "Oh,

00:40:24

wait a minute. This guy I used to share

00:40:26

an office with gets $10 million a

00:40:29

picture or so."

00:40:30

>> It was like what the [ __ ] Yeah.

00:40:34

>> What the [ __ ] happened here?

00:40:36

>> That was after Tommy Boy.

00:40:37

>> Yeah, like Tommy Boy. But we did that.

00:40:41

>> Um, I had a lot of fun doing it. Here's

00:40:43

the funny thing about that movie.

00:40:45

>> I was horrible in that movie. Well,

00:40:47

initially, right?

00:40:48

>> So, I was cut out of the whole movie.

00:40:52

>> Like, you were cut out of the Michael

00:40:54

Jackson.

00:40:56

>> Yeah.

00:40:57

>> I'm cut out of the whole movie. Bring

00:41:00

the pain comes on HBO

00:41:03

>> and suddenly they put me back in.

00:41:04

>> They cut you back in. Wow.

00:41:07

>> Suddenly everything I did me at craft

00:41:11

services eating a Snickers.

00:41:14

>> It's in the credits.

00:41:15

>> It's in the movie.

00:41:17

>> It's like everything's in the movie now.

00:41:19

>> Great.

00:41:20

>> Brought in like three editors. Yes. Yes.

00:41:22

Reaction on Chris. He's not IN THE

00:41:24

SCENE. I SAID

00:41:26

>> YEAH.

00:41:26

>> YEAH. That that was big. That was big.

00:41:28

>> Yeah. That That was a a seismic.

00:41:30

>> Now, what was your next move after you

00:41:31

got big from Bring the Pain? I mean,

00:41:33

what was your next?

00:41:34

>> Um, it's weird. I did another special. I

00:41:37

did. I mean, I did Here's the weird

00:41:39

thing. I'm just like, I'm getting I can

00:41:41

I'm hanging with Madonna and uh

00:41:47

So, I'm with Madonna, right? And

00:41:49

>> yeah,

00:41:50

>> whatever. And you're hanging with her.

00:41:54

>> I'm hanging.

00:41:54

>> Okay.

00:41:56

And uh she pulls out, she's getting

00:41:59

ready to do a special in Cuba. I'm

00:42:03

really I'm literally right next to her.

00:42:06

She calls her manager or somebody and

00:42:09

she cancels the special in Cuba. Really

00:42:12

la last moment thing, right?

00:42:16

So,

00:42:18

I know how much money she's getting

00:42:21

and I

00:42:24

offer I call up Chris Albre at HBO go

00:42:28

I'll do I'll do a special right now

00:42:32

but I got to get the same money

00:42:36

>> and

00:42:36

>> and I GOT IT.

00:42:38

>> [ __ ]

00:42:39

>> WOW. SO,

00:42:41

>> so whatever it was, you could imagine.

00:42:45

But before that, I probably got 20 grand

00:42:47

for Bring the Pain. Like, no comedian

00:42:50

made any money

00:42:52

to do it.

00:42:53

>> They're like, "Take Madonna's money.

00:42:54

Give me that money."

00:42:56

>> Yeah.

00:42:56

>> But you did you shoot it in Cuba?

00:42:58

>> We No, no, no. We shot We shot Bigger

00:43:00

and Blacker at the Apollo.

00:43:02

>> Okay, that's right.

00:43:03

>> And uh

00:43:04

>> Yeah.

00:43:05

>> So, I did that. So, those two specials

00:43:07

are like kind of like a year apart or

00:43:09

year and a half apart,

00:43:10

>> right?

00:43:11

>> But, um,

00:43:11

>> but you were ready or you didn't know?

00:43:13

>> I wasn't really ready, but I knew I got

00:43:15

it together.

00:43:17

>> And I mean, I, you know, it's that time

00:43:20

in your life where

00:43:22

>> this, you know, there's a time in your

00:43:24

life when you're just a vessel

00:43:26

>> and the shit's coming through you like

00:43:28

that, you know?

00:43:29

>> So, I was at that vessel point.

00:43:32

>> Go Chris. And uh

00:43:34

>> go Chris goes coming through me.

00:43:36

>> And uh that I mean

00:43:39

>> most people think bigger and black is

00:43:41

better. Bring the paper. That's like

00:43:43

when when they were albums or DVDs,

00:43:45

Bigger and Black are always sold more.

00:43:47

>> Oh, really?

00:43:48

>> Yeah. It's it's the bigger special.

00:43:50

>> Um

00:43:50

>> Well, it's good they're even close. I

00:43:52

mean, usually a lot of people have one

00:43:54

killer and then the rest, you know,

00:43:56

because right now people do a lot of

00:43:57

specials in a row and some get watered

00:44:00

down. So then I started doing movies and

00:44:03

>> you know Mel Gibson called

00:44:06

>> hello

00:44:09

>> Melly Mel.

00:44:11

>> He was nice. It was it's crazy when you

00:44:14

see what happens to people.

00:44:16

>> And when when did

00:44:17

>> he was the nicest guy

00:44:20

>> to everybody.

00:44:22

>> Even the Jews.

00:44:25

>> He was just nice.

00:44:27

>> Yeah.

00:44:27

>> Yeah. I never in one thing.

00:44:30

>> Um

00:44:32

>> I think I mean I just I think he's

00:44:34

brilliant. I mean you never seen

00:44:36

Apocalypto apocalyptto was one of the

00:44:39

best movies ever made.

00:44:40

>> Yeah. It's unbelievable. I mean and as

00:44:43

an actor so

00:44:45

>> second chances

00:44:47

>> you know. No I got Hey

00:44:49

>> David I gave him a second chance.

00:44:51

>> Hey

00:44:52

hey if they want to do another lethal

00:44:54

weapon I'll take that check.

00:44:56

>> Yeah. What's your biggest mailbox check?

00:44:59

>> Madagascar.

00:45:00

>> Mad Oh, yeah.

00:45:02

>> Oh, it is

00:45:03

>> that I TURNED DOWN MADAGASCAR.

00:45:06

>> WHOA.

00:45:07

>> WELL, I WAS I don't know. I

00:45:08

>> What the hell was going on with you?

00:45:10

>> I had I had a bad day.

00:45:11

>> You couldn't think of a Are you allergic

00:45:13

to money?

00:45:15

>> Kind of.

00:45:17

>> Hes No, they wanted me to do a South

00:45:19

African accent and I was like really

00:45:21

working on it. I think Sasha [ __ ] did

00:45:23

it. Ah,

00:45:24

>> but now did you do the first movie? It's

00:45:27

not that because I did Secret Life of

00:45:29

Pets. The first movie there was

00:45:32

>> Thank you.

00:45:33

>> Hold your applause. And then the first

00:45:34

movie you didn't get much from

00:45:35

Madagascar.

00:45:36

>> No, no, no, no. DreamWorks was a new

00:45:39

company.

00:45:40

>> Okay.

00:45:40

>> So, this is the same, you know, I've

00:45:43

been lucky a few times. So, you get if

00:45:45

you get someplace early, they they

00:45:47

overpay. And

00:45:49

>> you know, DreamWorks pays better than

00:45:50

some of the other

00:45:51

>> DreamWorks. Hey man, for the Shrek guys.

00:45:55

>> Yeah,

00:45:55

>> it's like you know those guys

00:45:57

>> Yeah.

00:45:57

>> they made so much money none of them

00:46:00

ever worked again.

00:46:02

>> They all went like 20 years without

00:46:04

working. They made so much money

00:46:05

>> and now they have two more they just

00:46:07

did.

00:46:07

>> Yeah. Yeah.

00:46:08

>> So it's like Yeah.

00:46:09

>> Yeah.

00:46:09

>> Yeah. Shrek.

00:46:10

>> I love Eddie.

00:46:13

This is how crazy Eddie could be. Eddie

00:46:15

has the studio in his house, like the

00:46:18

recording studio in his house. So all he

00:46:20

has to do is go downstairs to do donkey

00:46:23

and

00:46:24

>> to do donkey

00:46:26

>> and

00:46:27

>> all right you do Eddie and I'll do my

00:46:30

>> and he would he would make them wait for

00:46:32

months at a time

00:46:35

>> and at least twice they negotiated deals

00:46:38

with me to play donkey.

00:46:40

>> Seriously. And then Eddie just went

00:46:43

downstairs

00:46:47

>> and I'm out of $30 million.

00:46:54

>> Just cuz Eddie went downstairs.

00:46:55

>> The highs and the lows.

00:46:58

>> He's 30.

00:46:59

>> I'm I'm on my way to the studio. YEAH,

00:47:02

I'M DONKEY. OH, Eddie went downstairs.

00:47:05

[ __ ]

00:47:07

>> [ __ ] [ __ ]

00:47:09

>> GOD DAMN IT. EDDIE WENT DOWNSTAIRS.

00:47:13

>> He's in his pajamas doing donkey right

00:47:16

now.

00:47:20

>> He's sad. You've had a big life, Chris.

00:47:24

>> It's getting bigger.

00:47:28

>> Good lord. Py tank.

00:47:30

>> Tang.

00:47:31

>> I think

00:47:32

>> py tag.

00:47:32

>> It's a title you can never forget of a

00:47:35

movie. Hey man,

00:47:39

everybody thinks they're famous and you

00:47:42

know you know there was a point I was so

00:47:46

famous I got a movie called Py Tank Man

00:47:49

>> where no one where the lead character

00:47:51

doesn't speak English

00:47:54

>> you got that pity on the run

00:47:58

>> sate

00:48:01

>> uh created by Louis CK

00:48:03

>> Louis CK was

00:48:04

>> written by Louis CK and a a little bit

00:48:07

myself. I got some jokes in there, but

00:48:09

uh yeah.

00:48:10

>> What about I'm going to get you sucker?

00:48:11

Where's the one where you said give me

00:48:12

some ribs?

00:48:13

>> What?

00:48:13

>> What was the one where you said give me

00:48:15

some ribs?

00:48:16

>> Oh, that's I'm going to get you sucker.

00:48:18

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

00:48:19

>> Directed by Kenan Ivory Wes.

00:48:24

>> Okay,

00:48:24

>> that's right.

00:48:25

>> Okay, now here's a weird story about I'm

00:48:27

Gonna Get You Sucker. I hope I'm not

00:48:29

speaking out of tune. Most of that movie

00:48:31

is thought up by Eddie Murphy.

00:48:34

>> Like, really? Yeah. And from what I

00:48:37

hear, Eddie was going to do it and then

00:48:40

he decided not to do it. And Keenan's

00:48:42

like, "Hey." Picked it off his thing.

00:48:44

Hey, you thinking about doing this? I

00:48:45

mean, he still made it into Keenan's

00:48:48

version of it, but the initial thing was

00:48:50

Eddie Murphy. Yeah. He told me he told

00:48:52

me he came up with the fish in the in

00:48:55

the shoe and all that stuff. But uh

00:48:57

>> I I play the ribb man and I'm gonna get

00:49:01

you sucker.

00:49:02

>> And it was based on

00:49:04

>> ribs man.

00:49:04

>> Like some real [ __ ] like give me one

00:49:06

rib.

00:49:07

>> Yeah. It's hysterical.

00:49:09

>> It's like the Golden Globe goes to I'm

00:49:12

going to get you sucker.

00:49:15

>> Now Chris is one line. He comes in and

00:49:18

then you go give me a rib and you're you

00:49:20

don't have enough money. And then you go

00:49:21

how much for this? And then you pull out

00:49:22

a wad of hundreds at the end. It's one

00:49:26

for a scene to stand out.

00:49:28

>> How much for a soda?

00:49:29

>> Yeah.

00:49:31

>> [ __ ] the cup. Put it in my hand.

00:49:33

>> Yeah. See,

00:49:39

>> my daughters here like, "Huh?"

00:49:40

>> It's good when it works.

00:49:42

>> Your kids know any of your [ __ ] My kids

00:49:43

don't know anything?

00:49:44

>> Not really.

00:49:45

>> My kids don't know nothing I've done and

00:49:48

could care less.

00:49:50

>> Yeah. It's kind of

00:49:51

>> in a healthy way. In a healthy way.

00:49:53

>> Yeah. What about the one you just the

00:49:55

last one you just did?

00:49:56

>> I just directed uh Misty Green. It's

00:49:59

going to come out.

00:50:01

>> It's going to come out in November. It's

00:50:03

at 8:24. It's kind of a drama, honestly.

00:50:06

>> Okay.

00:50:06

>> It's uh it's about a woman whose sugar

00:50:09

daddy dies.

00:50:11

>> Mhm.

00:50:12

>> And she's got a a week to get her [ __ ]

00:50:15

together

00:50:16

>> or she might have to [ __ ] a guy in

00:50:17

Dubai.

00:50:20

>> A tale as old as

00:50:21

>> it's kind of like it's The feelood

00:50:24

picture

00:50:24

>> the feelgood story for Christmas

00:50:28

movie family is did it start out?

00:50:31

>> Yeah. So that's yeah that uh what am I

00:50:34

trying it's it's it's the best way to

00:50:36

describe it would be a female uncut

00:50:39

gems. Okay.

00:50:40

>> Okay.

00:50:41

>> So it stars a woman named uh Rosalyn

00:50:44

Elazar. She's on a show called Slow

00:50:46

Horses.

00:50:47

>> Oh love that show.

00:50:48

>> Anna Kendrick's her best friend. Uh

00:50:52

Daniel Kua

00:50:54

>> he's her brother. Adam Driver is in it.

00:50:57

>> Oh, you got it.

00:50:58

>> Uh and myself and a few other people.

00:51:00

Anthony Anderson Toeer. Toe for um Yeah.

00:51:05

So we got

00:51:06

>> Have you done I mean

00:51:07

>> it's uh Yeah, we got it A24. Nice little

00:51:11

art movie.

00:51:13

>> How do you directed it?

00:51:14

>> People like that like Adam Driver, you

00:51:16

know, they're sort of brilliant at their

00:51:18

craft. I mean, it's just very subtle. I

00:51:20

mean, it's it's kind of like

00:51:23

>> comedians. I mean, you you got to

00:51:24

rehearse and,

00:51:26

>> you know, figure out their moves and

00:51:28

stuff. I mean,

00:51:30

>> but he was great. He was like, you can't

00:51:32

when you get an actor that good, every

00:51:34

take you're like, whoa,

00:51:36

>> you know, it's probably like you think

00:51:38

they'll be difficult when they're not,

00:51:40

then it's easy because then you have a

00:51:42

back and forth. But some if they resist,

00:51:44

then it's a lot. I've been on movies

00:51:45

where people really resist and you go,

00:51:46

"Oh my god, this is just going to make

00:51:47

it so hard."

00:51:48

>> Yeah. Well, it was a it was a it was

00:51:50

prime. There's some comedy in it, but

00:51:52

it's definitely leans dramatic. So,

00:51:55

yeah, I got if it's funny, I got a ton

00:51:58

of notes, but if it's not, you know, I

00:52:01

I'm going to trust Adam Driver.

00:52:03

>> Yeah.

00:52:04

>> Yeah, I would trust Adam Driver.

00:52:05

>> It's like, you know,

00:52:06

>> and do a lot of the great actors you've

00:52:08

worked with sometimes like after a take

00:52:10

that you think's brilliant like really

00:52:12

was it good? Do you think it was good?

00:52:13

>> Yeah. Yeah. Seems like some of them

00:52:16

>> like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Really? You

00:52:18

think so?

00:52:19

>> Wait, what movie was that one? Remember?

00:52:21

>> I did a movie called Bad Company.

00:52:23

>> Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Was that

00:52:24

>> Hopkins?

00:52:25

>> Oh, really? Tony?

00:52:27

>> Tony Hopkins?

00:52:28

>> I did a movie with Tony.

00:52:29

>> Which one did you do?

00:52:30

>> Uh, Road to Wellville.

00:52:31

>> Hey, do you know what he would do? And I

00:52:33

don't know if he did this with you, but

00:52:35

he had a Polaroid uh shot of his his

00:52:37

character. His character had funny

00:52:38

teeth. It was all about the wellness

00:52:40

industry in 1890 or whatever. And you'd

00:52:43

be talking to And then they go speed

00:52:46

rolling. He would look at the picture,

00:52:48

crush it on his face, and then breathe

00:52:51

in like,

00:52:53

and then put it in his pocket, and then

00:52:55

he'd just be the character. Did you see

00:52:57

any of that?

00:53:02

>> I saw none of that.

00:53:05

I swear I didn't

00:53:06

>> I do I do remember like um older actors

00:53:10

>> Yeah.

00:53:11

>> they want to rehearse

00:53:13

>> and do not give them new pages on the

00:53:15

day. Yeah.

00:53:16

>> And I remember somebody I remember the

00:53:18

director giving him new pages and him

00:53:19

like, "Get the [ __ ] away from me."

00:53:21

>> Yeah.

00:53:22

>> Give me new [ __ ] pages.

00:53:24

>> Yeah.

00:53:26

>> Just for that today, you get four takes.

00:53:29

>> Yeah.

00:53:30

>> Did you ever work with someone who just

00:53:32

couldn't get their lines?

00:53:34

>> I mean, Bert Lancaster, I was in a movie

00:53:36

with him and Kirk Douglas, very sweet

00:53:38

guy. Would you be like, "Okay, I guess

00:53:40

we're going to rob the train." And then

00:53:41

everyone's just still and quiet line.

00:53:44

And then the woman, cuz we got to do it

00:53:46

today. Cuz we got to do it today.

00:53:50

Lying. And she would go on and on. Tracy

00:53:53

Morgan's like that.

00:53:57

>> Can't like literally like f one of the

00:53:59

funniest people. Oh yeah. Absolutely.

00:54:01

>> It's not that he can't do his he doesn't

00:54:03

know his lines. He can't do it the same

00:54:05

way twice.

00:54:06

>> Right.

00:54:07

>> It has to be different.

00:54:09

>> By the way, we a couple of back to

00:54:12

Michael Jackson. Yeah. just

00:54:14

>> all right

00:54:14

>> it's

00:54:14

>> like a crazy name drop fest so Matt

00:54:17

Eddie's house me there's a bunch of

00:54:20

people but I'll just say the name droppy

00:54:22

name so it's meant to hear it

00:54:24

>> Eddie Chappelle and Tracy a couple

00:54:28

people Raphael Sadik Simone uh lots of

00:54:32

cool people there and to watch the

00:54:35

Michael Jackson movie with Tracy Morgan

00:54:37

kind of narrating

00:54:40

>> Oh yeah

00:54:42

give me some pity loafers.

00:54:49

>> That sounds fun.

00:54:51

>> Who you think hit harder, Joe or Joe

00:54:54

Frasier?

00:54:59

>> That's great.

00:54:59

>> It's just like the whole movie wouldn't

00:55:01

stop.

00:55:03

>> That's mystery.

00:55:04

>> I got a name drop story about this kind

00:55:06

of stuff. Tom Hanks was telling me that

00:55:07

Clint Eastwood will sort of walk on the

00:55:10

scene and uh and he's just coming out

00:55:12

there and the cameras are rolling and

00:55:14

he's like, "Okay, what is it?" And the

00:55:15

script cyber just goes, "All right, so

00:55:18

let's get out of here." All right, let's

00:55:19

get out of here. So he likes to hear it

00:55:22

right before he says it

00:55:23

>> really.

00:55:24

>> And that's so kind of like Brando would,

00:55:26

you know, hide things in the ceiling and

00:55:27

stuff, you know. Anyway, inside

00:55:29

>> Brando have an earpiece.

00:55:31

>> Clint Eastwood is not Tracy Morgan.

00:55:35

It's not as dynamic as a centerpiece of

00:55:37

a story visually and orally. I agree.

00:55:42

>> All right. You got something else? One

00:55:43

little more for Chris Rock before we get

00:55:45

him out of here. What do you

00:55:46

>> Chris Rock? Uh

00:55:46

>> oh.

00:55:47

>> All right. Let's just your hot takes on

00:55:49

society. Okay. I have no takes.

00:55:52

>> Uh AI. Will it rule us? Will it take

00:55:54

over? Be a good thing or a bad thing?

00:55:55

You have five seconds.

00:55:56

>> Um

00:55:58

>> hey, I I personally know people that

00:56:00

have actually lost jobs to AI. Uh

00:56:03

they're in the tech sector. Uh so

00:56:07

hey man, I don't know for the arts, put

00:56:11

it this way. To me, AI, just in my

00:56:13

business, it's a drum machine. Okay?

00:56:18

It's basically a drum machine. You give

00:56:20

Dr. Dre a drum drum machine, it's

00:56:22

[ __ ] magic. You give me a drum

00:56:24

machine, it's a waste of time. So, I

00:56:28

don't think it'll make shitty writers

00:56:32

good

00:56:33

because the good writers will have it,

00:56:36

too.

00:56:37

>> You know what I mean?

00:56:38

>> So, so the distance is still going to be

00:56:40

the same.

00:56:41

>> Yeah.

00:56:42

>> Between the talent cuz the, you know,

00:56:44

everybody's going to have it, but it's

00:56:46

obviously a little scary. I've

00:56:47

definitely seen,

00:56:50

you know, there's definite parts of the

00:56:52

business that are going to be gone, you

00:56:54

know.

00:56:55

>> Yeah. Well, I was going to ask you about

00:56:56

LA, too, and the recession in the film

00:56:58

and TV business in Los Angeles.

00:57:01

>> I I did my movie. The whole movie we

00:57:03

shot in LA.

00:57:04

>> Good job.

00:57:06

>> Yeah.

00:57:08

>> Whole movie.

00:57:10

>> They did.

00:57:10

>> How much more expensive? I mean, that

00:57:12

was more expensive, right?

00:57:13

>> It probably was more expensive,

00:57:16

>> but you know, um

00:57:18

>> that's a good thing.

00:57:19

>> Not my money.

00:57:21

>> Yeah. I got actually some of it was but

00:57:24

I think I'm I think I'm getting it back.

00:57:28

>> Yeah.

00:57:29

>> When is this movie coming up? I put up

00:57:31

some dough.

00:57:32

>> Um this movie comes out in November.

00:57:35

>> Okay.

00:57:35

>> When the [ __ ] comes out.

00:57:38

>> I don't like the people that have AI and

00:57:40

they have Chad GBD and there's always

00:57:41

one guy going, "Hey, can you start World

00:57:44

War III?" It's like, why? let's not mess

00:57:45

with it because they if they've read

00:57:48

every book in the world you're like they

00:57:50

can probably start some [ __ ] So it

00:57:52

shouldn't be in everyone's hands on

00:57:54

their phone which I think it is now. Uh

00:57:57

I haven't done it yet.

00:57:57

>> We are living in the singularity. I mean

00:57:59

this is the printing press. This is

00:58:01

fire. This is the atom splitting.

00:58:03

>> Hey I'm I'm not even here really. No

00:58:07

>> we'd like to thank Chris's digital copy

00:58:09

for being here. And now on the count of

00:58:11

three the hologram will disappear.

00:58:14

Uh, I this is what I was just curious

00:58:15

about you hanging out like what do you

00:58:18

consume live streaming shows? Do you get

00:58:21

into shows with your girlfriend or

00:58:23

friends or what do you what do you

00:58:25

what's a day off for you to go to movie

00:58:27

theaters by yourself or what do you do?

00:58:28

>> I mean I I Hey, I love my Apple TV.

00:58:33

>> All right. So, you're watching

00:58:34

Neighbors.

00:58:35

>> When I travel, I I you know, just some

00:58:38

[ __ ] spoiled rich [ __ ] I have the

00:58:41

Apple TV hooked up in every hotel room

00:58:43

I'm in so I can watch my shows.

00:58:46

>> What are your shows? Slow Horses. Uh

00:58:50

uh I'm I'm waiting for I'm watching

00:58:53

Euphoria right now.

00:58:55

>> I'm watching Euphoria, too. Yeah.

00:58:57

>> Don't Don't spoil it. I haven't seen

00:58:59

last one, but

00:59:02

>> I'm only as far as everybody else.

00:59:05

I like that it's every Sunday. I like

00:59:07

that you can't jump ahead.

00:59:08

>> It's like I didn't see it this week.

00:59:09

What? She's a nun? No.

00:59:13

>> She has huge boobs again.

00:59:17

>> Has anyone watched The Pit?

00:59:21

>> HBO Max, but

00:59:23

>> I don't really see hospital shows, but

00:59:25

this one is kind of extra extra.

00:59:27

>> It's pretty special.

00:59:28

>> I I want The Pit, but it's just Brad Pit

00:59:30

telling girls they can't spend the

00:59:31

night.

00:59:37

I want to watch that show.

00:59:40

>> Whenever

00:59:41

Brad Pitt is on TV and my my wife's just

00:59:44

over there and I just go, I don't I

00:59:45

don't get it. I mean, really, there's

00:59:46

not much going on with him. I mean, is

00:59:48

that considered handsome? You know,

00:59:52

>> I don't see it.

00:59:52

>> I remember being at a party. You ever

00:59:54

been in a room with [ __ ] P?

00:59:57

>> So, you're in a you're at a party,

00:59:59

right?

01:00:00

>> And Obama,

01:00:01

>> you meet a you meet a woman. woman talks

01:00:03

to you like this, right?

01:00:06

>> When Brad Pitt walks in the room, every

01:00:09

woman takes a step and a half back from

01:00:13

whatever guy she's talking to.

01:00:17

Like every woman's like kind of aware

01:00:21

with like it's like when a pitbull gets

01:00:23

loose in a neighborhood. Like every

01:00:25

woman knows exactly where the [ __ ] pit

01:00:28

is in the room. And if I have a chance,

01:00:32

I'm not going to [ __ ] it up tonight over

01:00:36

Chris Rock.

01:00:39

>> They get a little bit

01:00:40

>> and then he gets a woman or he leaves

01:00:42

the party and then the girl starts

01:00:44

talking to you normal again. Hey. Oh

01:00:46

yeah.

01:00:47

>> Is this kind of

01:00:48

>> happened at least twice to me? Is this

01:00:50

also a tell when if Brad Pit comes in, a

01:00:52

woman might just kind of just do this?

01:00:54

>> I mean,

01:00:55

>> you know, just a subtle

01:00:56

>> just clean it up a little bit.

01:00:57

>> Just kind of clean it up a little bit.

01:00:59

>> Yeah.

01:00:59

>> You ever seen that?

01:01:00

>> I I've seen it. Yeah. There they kind of

01:01:02

let you know like, hey, if he even looks

01:01:05

this way.

01:01:06

>> Yeah.

01:01:08

>> I'm going to kick you down and fly the

01:01:09

stairs.

01:01:11

>> Immediately in a wood chipper.

01:01:13

>> I'm a huge FAN. I

01:01:14

>> HE'S A GREAT GUY. He's a great He's a a

01:01:16

great guy and a great actor. Chris, you

01:01:19

remember when uh

01:01:20

>> well, Marcy's here, but Marcy would

01:01:22

bring Carolyn Betetta around the office

01:01:24

at SNL and Carolyn Bet was so stunning

01:01:27

and we all kind of had a crush on her

01:01:28

and then we got the news she's dating

01:01:30

JFK Jr. We're all like, "Oh, that's her

01:01:33

type." Oh,

01:01:35

>> the kind of guy every person in the

01:01:38

world loves. I thought she'd be a little

01:01:39

more interesting.

01:01:44

>> Thought she'd like squirly broke

01:01:46

writers.

01:01:46

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I I remember. Yeah.

01:01:51

So,

01:01:51

>> I went I went out with her roommate for

01:01:53

a minute. Yeah.

01:01:54

>> You what? You went out with her?

01:01:55

>> Oh, really?

01:01:56

>> What?

01:01:56

>> H

01:01:57

>> Yeah. Anyway,

01:01:58

>> plot thickening.

01:01:59

>> Plot thickening. That's as far as it

01:02:02

got. Yeah. It was

01:02:03

>> I'm going to just try to mention a

01:02:05

celebrity and see if you've had a

01:02:06

>> I'm not that guy. I'm not.

01:02:08

>> No, you're It's just cuz you go.

01:02:09

>> It's not. But I don't do that in my act.

01:02:11

But should I

01:02:11

>> Well, people like you. I mean, and they

01:02:13

want to hang out with you. That's all.

01:02:14

>> I like you.

01:02:16

>> I mean,

01:02:18

We We get to We're hanging out with you

01:02:20

right now.

01:02:20

>> We're hanging out. This is um

01:02:22

>> This is fun.

01:02:23

>> This is the most fun you've had today,

01:02:24

right?

01:02:24

>> This is kind of the most fun I'm gonna

01:02:26

Well, maybe later, huh?

01:02:29

>> Uh

01:02:30

>> who's over there?

01:02:32

>> Yeah. All right. Well, Dan, any further

01:02:34

any last questions for our good friend?

01:02:37

>> Um just Okay. Give me just quick quick

01:02:39

>> What do you want? What do you want?

01:02:40

Anything?

01:02:40

>> Adam Sandler. What What is with that

01:02:42

guy? Oh, I call him Adam Sandler Claus

01:02:45

cuz uh

01:02:48

>> cuz the

01:02:48

>> I love that guy. That's my It's weird. I

01:02:51

realized Adam Sandler might be my oldest

01:02:53

friend. Like,

01:02:54

>> excuse me.

01:02:55

>> That's right. Cuz it was pre

01:02:57

>> Well, cuz we know

01:02:59

>> I knew him before I got on SNL. We were

01:03:02

doing

01:03:03

>> the last thing you did at the Kennedy

01:03:04

Center when they were vetting.

01:03:06

>> Oh, yeah. You knew him before?

01:03:07

>> Yeah. I knew I knew Adam like a year and

01:03:10

a half, two years in the standup. So

01:03:13

I've known Adam like 40 years or

01:03:15

something.

01:03:16

>> That part of the story that you told

01:03:17

about Adam was really touched me. It was

01:03:19

so sweet.

01:03:20

>> Well,

01:03:20

>> just at the club and then the

01:03:22

>> it's like okay I'll tell the story

01:03:24

again. So, at any comedy club, uh, you

01:03:27

start stacking chairs that first is the

01:03:31

privilege is to just be allowed in the

01:03:33

club

01:03:34

>> and then, okay, we're going to let you,

01:03:37

uh, clean off tables and then, okay,

01:03:40

we're going to give you late night spots

01:03:43

during the week

01:03:44

>> so you can go on at one o'clock in the

01:03:46

morning on a Wednesday, right? And then

01:03:50

you get week spot spots during the week.

01:03:52

And then the greatest thing you can do

01:03:55

after a couple of years of working is

01:03:57

they let you work the weekends,

01:03:59

>> right?

01:03:59

>> Mhm.

01:04:00

>> So, and that is like you're a top comic,

01:04:03

right?

01:04:03

>> Right.

01:04:04

>> And so I'm at the club

01:04:08

>> pre-SNL.

01:04:09

>> PreSNL.

01:04:10

>> Yeah.

01:04:11

>> I meet Eddie Murphy at the club.

01:04:12

>> Mhm.

01:04:13

>> I meet Eddie Murphy at the club one

01:04:16

night as I was stacking chairs. Okay. I

01:04:19

was stacking chairs. Eddie had watched

01:04:21

like four guys and he goes to this guy

01:04:24

Lucian Hold. Hey, you got any black

01:04:26

comics?

01:04:27

>> And Lucian Hold's like, "We got one

01:04:28

right here." The guy got the guy hadn't

01:04:31

spoke to me in six months.

01:04:34

>> Eddie has that effect.

01:04:36

>> And they're they put me on stage in

01:04:38

front of Eddie. Eddie laughs. Eddie

01:04:41

proceeds to tell me my whole life.

01:04:44

>> Oh wow.

01:04:45

>> So Eddie tells me, "You're going to be

01:04:46

in movies. You're going to do SNL.

01:04:48

You're going to do this. You're going to

01:04:49

like everything that's happened to me in

01:04:50

life. You're going to direct, you're

01:04:51

going to do this.

01:04:51

>> From seeing one set,

01:04:53

>> from seeing like eight minutes here and

01:04:55

there,

01:04:55

>> like literally

01:04:56

>> eight minutes literally predicts my

01:04:59

whole future.

01:05:00

>> Yeah.

01:05:01

>> Okay. You're going to get married.

01:05:02

You're going to get divorced. Like

01:05:03

everything.

01:05:06

>> Mary, divorce. Did he say you were going

01:05:08

to meet me?

01:05:09

>> Yeah. He said I was going to do this

01:05:10

podcast. Yeah.

01:05:11

>> The church lady.

01:05:13

>> So, and um you know, and this is like

01:05:15

the real Eddie Murphy. This is like This

01:05:17

is not Dr. Doolittle. This is like

01:05:19

>> This is Eddie.

01:05:20

>> This is red leather. Yeah. He probably

01:05:22

had on some green leather and it's like

01:05:25

like Elvis Eddie and he's got 20 guys

01:05:27

with him.

01:05:28

>> And he's like, "We're going to LA

01:05:29

tomorrow. You should come."

01:05:32

>> I go to LA with him.

01:05:33

>> Holy [ __ ]

01:05:34

>> And I end up in Beverly Hills Cop

01:05:36

>> 2.

01:05:37

>> That's right.

01:05:38

>> A movie

01:05:41

that I saw four times the day it came

01:05:45

out. I I saw Beverly Hills Cop one. Me

01:05:46

and Fred Barton, who's not alive

01:05:48

anymore, saw it four times. Anyway, so

01:05:51

I'm in LA doing that.

01:05:54

>> Mhm.

01:05:55

>> I come back cuz I have to come back. I

01:05:58

only, you know, I only made $600 doing

01:06:01

Beverly Hills Cop, right?

01:06:03

>> And who do I see? Who the [ __ ] this

01:06:07

white kid on stage on Saturday night?

01:06:11

>> Zabadoo.

01:06:12

>> What the [ __ ] is going on here?

01:06:14

>> Right. I It took me two, three years to

01:06:17

get on that Saturday night. So, he just

01:06:18

came out of the [ __ ] is this guy and

01:06:20

it's Sandler.

01:06:22

>> Yeah.

01:06:22

>> And like everything in my body said to

01:06:26

hate this guy

01:06:28

>> cuz not not only is he on Saturday night

01:06:31

and obviously didn't earn it. The

01:06:33

Lucian, they told me he's on the Cosby

01:06:35

Show. It's like, [ __ ] how come

01:06:37

I'm not on the Cosby Show?

01:06:39

>> I'm a black guy. Who is this white boy

01:06:41

on the [ __ ] Cosby show?

01:06:43

>> Excellent.

01:06:44

>> Going on a Saturday night and I watched

01:06:49

him

01:06:50

>> and I was so prepared to like like [ __ ]

01:06:53

this guy

01:06:54

>> and say and he did this joke about Wilt

01:06:59

Chamberlain scoring 100 points in a

01:07:02

game.

01:07:03

>> It was like the his impression of the

01:07:06

other players on the team. Hey Wil, I'm

01:07:08

open.

01:07:10

>> But he also had a line where they're in

01:07:12

a huddle. Wil's already scored 98. And

01:07:15

the coach says, "Okay, who's got Wilt?"

01:07:18

>> That was another one.

01:07:18

>> And they he had that other one about his

01:07:20

grandmother rubbing Bick's Bape rub on

01:07:23

his chest and he looks his grandmother

01:07:25

in the eyes and goes, "We're just

01:07:27

friends, right?"

01:07:29

>> So

01:07:32

>> I'm watching him do this and all the

01:07:35

hate just left my body.

01:07:36

>> Yeah. And I was like, "This guy's the

01:07:38

best. This guy's so [ __ ] funny. Oh my

01:07:41

god." And we just became friends that

01:07:43

night.

01:07:43

>> Yeah.

01:07:44

>> Wasn't there a moment where he was with

01:07:46

sort of a gang and then he saw you and

01:07:48

sort of said,

01:07:50

>> you know,

01:07:50

>> I don't know. I mean,

01:07:51

>> he invited you into this.

01:07:53

>> Well, he was with all those guys he

01:07:55

writes with now were there.

01:07:58

>> So like Jackuto and

01:08:01

all those guys, you know, they were he

01:08:04

was at he was going to NYU at the time.

01:08:07

Yeah,

01:08:07

>> he was going to NYU. We had such

01:08:10

insanely different backgrounds. Okay, so

01:08:13

he's he's literally going to NYU. I'm at

01:08:17

his dorm and all this [ __ ] I'm living

01:08:18

in bed sty. It is the height of the

01:08:20

crack epidemic. Okay,

01:08:24

>> not this hipster bedsty you hear about

01:08:26

now. Like

01:08:27

>> this is grandmother's blowing people

01:08:30

[ __ ] crackhead.

01:08:33

>> Right. So, the home values were

01:08:36

>> It was insane, dude.

01:08:38

>> It was a crack was an insane time cuz

01:08:41

crack and the VCR came out at the same

01:08:43

time.

01:08:45

>> So, guys would people would do it was

01:08:48

like the [ __ ] opium wars or some [ __ ]

01:08:51

and guys would show you tapes of

01:08:53

somebody's [ __ ] three guys. It

01:08:56

was crazy. Crack was insane. Anyway,

01:09:02

the good old days,

01:09:05

>> Vinn, I remember me and Sandler

01:09:07

auditioned for uh SNL on the same night.

01:09:11

>> I was doing a movie called Hanging Out

01:09:13

with the Homeboys.

01:09:15

Uh, and the director, we were in

01:09:17

rehearsals and I had the

01:09:20

the auditions were in Chicago and so I

01:09:25

needed a day off to go audition and the

01:09:28

director was like, "If you leave, you're

01:09:29

fired." I left. They fired me. Uh, and I

01:09:34

went to I went to audition for SNL. And

01:09:38

me and Sandler auditioned the night, the

01:09:40

same night. I did good.

01:09:42

>> I don't think it was great, but it was

01:09:44

good. Yeah.

01:09:45

>> And Sandler did good. And we both we

01:09:49

watch Dana Ghoul destroy.

01:09:52

>> Oh wow.

01:09:53

>> Oh yeah.

01:09:54

>> And Dana Ghoul did so well I left.

01:09:57

>> It's like why am I even here? This guy's

01:09:59

like the king of this [ __ ]

01:10:02

>> Yeah. Great stuff.

01:10:02

>> And him and me and Adam got the job.

01:10:06

>> Yeah. Yeah.

01:10:08

>> Me, Adam, and Farley.

01:10:11

>> Yeah. Farley auditioned because we

01:10:13

auditioned at the improv and he was

01:10:15

around the corner at Second City.

01:10:16

>> Second City. Yeah. Yeah.

01:10:17

>> Yeah. So, we all got

01:10:19

>> Could I ask you a question of something

01:10:21

that spoke for 30 years? You know this

01:10:23

thing, you and Farley,

01:10:25

>> right?

01:10:26

>> Um because I think I made a joke when

01:10:29

you guys the first day you were hired. I

01:10:31

think I was on Letterman and I did a

01:10:34

thing of, "Oh, we have some new guys."

01:10:36

And I was sort of kidding, but I said,

01:10:37

"You know who I am? You know, I'm the

01:10:39

freaking church lady." Now give me a cup

01:10:41

of coffee. I think I said that and then

01:10:44

you and Chris just called me the lady.

01:10:48

Period.

01:10:50

Every rehearsal. See you. Where's lady?

01:10:52

Saw you lady. Good job lady.

01:10:55

>> Yeah. Same thing with bar. It was only

01:10:57

lady. Only you two guys. Never stop. I

01:11:00

think we have I saw you. I

01:11:02

>> I didn't call you Dana until 2022.

01:11:08

>> Yeah. I remember that day. Hey, I I

01:11:09

teared up a little bit. I was like, I

01:11:12

have a name. I'm a person.

01:11:14

>> I have Yeah,

01:11:17

>> David,

01:11:17

>> I saw Chris on the back of some

01:11:20

comedy magazine. It was a picture of you

01:11:22

and Sandler in the corner and I was in

01:11:24

LA and I I didn't know either of you

01:11:28

guys. Then I met Sandler, but I was

01:11:30

doing the same thing in the valley here

01:11:34

um where Schneider and Drake Sailor and

01:11:37

a lot of comics were going on and Jud

01:11:38

and and I'd see Sandler and Covert and

01:11:42

you know, same situation where Sandler

01:11:44

was great and then we all kind of goofed

01:11:46

around and and then he goes out, you

01:11:48

know, and then he's doing out there you

01:11:50

and then we all wind up in the same

01:11:51

show. It's such a ridiculous miracle.

01:11:54

It's so funny how that happened.

01:11:55

>> Strange.

01:11:56

>> Yeah. ridiculous

01:11:59

>> just to make a living. I That's all I

01:12:01

thought about when I put down my waiter

01:12:03

apron. Could I this be my job?

01:12:07

>> Could my job be doing standup basically

01:12:09

that was it. You still that's the

01:12:11

touchstone

01:12:12

>> and then other things happened too. But

01:12:14

still that is the full circle.

01:12:16

>> You're still doing good Dana. You're

01:12:17

doing great. And uh let's thank the

01:12:19

audience for coming down

01:12:21

>> you guys. We appreciate it. And thank

01:12:24

you Chris Rock. Chris Rock. Everybody

01:12:27

>> see you guys.

01:12:27

>> Is that it?

01:12:28

>> Thank you.

01:12:32

>> Yeah.

01:12:34

>> I know. It's weird, isn't it?

01:12:41

>> Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast,

01:12:42

which you are, be sure to click follow

01:12:45

on your favorite podcast app. Give us a

01:12:47

review, fivestar rating, and maybe even

01:12:49

share an episode that you've loved with

01:12:52

a friend. If you're watching this

01:12:53

episode on YouTube, please subscribe.

01:12:55

We're on video now.

01:12:57

>> Fly on the Wall is presented by Odyssey,

01:12:59

an executive produced by Danny Carvey

01:13:01

and David Spade, Heather Santoro and

01:13:03

Greg Holtzman, Mattie Sprung Kaiser, and

01:13:06

Leah Reese Dennis of Odyssey. Our senior

01:13:08

producer is Greg Holtzman and the show

01:13:10

is produced and edited by Phil Sweet

01:13:13

Tech. Booking by Cultivated

01:13:15

Entertainment. Special thanks to Patrick

01:13:17

Fogerty, Evan Cox, Mora Curran, Melissa

01:13:22

Wester, Hillary Schuff, Eric Donnelly,

01:13:26

Colin Gainner, Shan Cherry, Kurt

01:13:28

Kourtney, and Lauren Vieiraa. Reach out

01:13:31

with us any questions to be asked and

01:13:33

answered on the show. You can email us

01:13:35

at fly onthewallsey.com.

01:13:38

That's audacy.com.

Words per Minute Over Time