00:00:00
John Malany, one of the top standups out
00:00:02
there, plays some big rooms. Uh, writer
00:00:05
on SNL, really moved up the ranks, went
00:00:08
on to host about five times.
00:00:10
>> Yeah.
00:00:10
>> Very smart, well-liked, has a crazy
00:00:14
past, great story. Uh, and we go through
00:00:18
pretty much all of it.
00:00:19
>> Yep. we go through it because I when I
00:00:21
was hosting SNL, I guess it was 2010 or
00:00:23
something, he was just uh him and Bill
00:00:27
her were like writing partners and they
00:00:29
did all their stuff together. So, I
00:00:31
didn't even know him as a performer, you
00:00:33
know, and then all of a sudden
00:00:36
>> uh couple years later he's got this
00:00:38
great standup special and he's gone on
00:00:40
from there. Um, and we talk about, you
00:00:43
know, he started to leap to big rooms,
00:00:47
you know, so it's it's it's kind of a
00:00:49
cool story. He's a very nice guy, very
00:00:51
humble guy, and and extremely bright, as
00:00:54
you would think, to talk to about comedy
00:00:56
and all things show business.
00:00:59
>> And I got to hang out with him at the
00:01:00
50th.
00:01:03
All right. Well, here he is,
00:01:04
>> John Melany.
00:01:09
By the way, I love the show. I've
00:01:11
listened to every episode. Um, even
00:01:14
Juds.
00:01:16
>> Even Juds. Interesting.
00:01:18
He wasn't even on SNL, but it was fine.
00:01:21
>> But he's discovered so many movie stars
00:01:24
from it.
00:01:25
>> Uh, yes, he is somebody who just gets
00:01:29
stuff done. Like if you call him with an
00:01:31
idea, he does have that engine.
00:01:35
Let's just make it. Let's do it. you
00:01:37
know, I don't know if you you don't need
00:01:39
to get anything from him, right?
00:01:41
>> Um, so we reached a point in our
00:01:44
friendship where I didn't it was kind of
00:01:47
clear I wasn't going to try to write a
00:01:49
movie for him. You know, there's like
00:01:50
everyone my generation was in a stable
00:01:55
where he just kind of I think without
00:01:57
even holding deals or money. He just had
00:02:00
so many people like myself, Ken Peele,
00:02:03
the Lucas Brothers, all Bill her, Simon
00:02:06
Rich, all these people had a movie deal
00:02:08
with Jud.
00:02:09
>> And I would kind of watch it and be
00:02:12
like, "Wow, everyone from SNL on their
00:02:15
summer break writes a hundred drafts of
00:02:18
a Jud movie. and he doesn't make them.
00:02:21
He he makes one movie every two three
00:02:23
years. So if he's making train wreck,
00:02:25
that means it's like all these people I
00:02:27
know whose like you know thing has
00:02:29
passed over. So as soon as I as soon as
00:02:33
he and I had some weird unsaid
00:02:35
understanding that I was never going to
00:02:37
write a movie for him, we became a lot
00:02:39
closer because then we could just talk
00:02:41
about standup. We're talking about Jud
00:02:43
Appatile, David. Yeah, I um he does seem
00:02:47
to whenever there's a shiny object that
00:02:49
that emerges on the scene, it seems like
00:02:52
Jud is is there. He's recognizing it
00:02:55
early.
00:02:56
>> It's always It's funny to me when he
00:02:58
like
00:03:00
people go like Jud has an eye for
00:03:02
talent. It's like, well, they're on SNL,
00:03:04
you know?
00:03:05
>> It's not It's not rocket science.
00:03:08
>> It is a bit not it is kind of not rocket
00:03:11
science. I had a spectacular accidental
00:03:14
set at the improv once and Carol Leafer
00:03:17
I think contacted
00:03:20
Jud and saying it's different now. So
00:03:24
then we he started emailing me and
00:03:26
stuff. I go I'm almost dead. I mean
00:03:28
there's nothing there's nothing left
00:03:30
here. But anyway, but uh I he's affable,
00:03:34
you know. I we we did the podcast in
00:03:36
person with him. It was kind of nice
00:03:38
actually.
00:03:39
>> That is nice. Yeah.
00:03:40
>> Yeah. Now, I saw I saw John uh just so
00:03:43
the people know. I don't know John very
00:03:46
well at all, but I I uh obviously think
00:03:48
you're funny. And so, here's my
00:03:50
microphone.
00:03:52
>> Said so said so business-like.
00:03:55
>> I would say that your your standup is
00:03:58
really starting to come into its own.
00:04:00
You were very you you've got that thing
00:04:02
figured out
00:04:03
>> in the last week.
00:04:04
>> Yeah.
00:04:06
>> Over the weekend.
00:04:06
>> I was eat I was eating it. I was bombing
00:04:09
so hard till last week finally.
00:04:11
>> Can I can I just say the first time I
00:04:13
met John because they really made me
00:04:15
laugh. So I go I'm hosting the show. Uh
00:04:18
I go in a little room. It's Bill her and
00:04:20
John and I didn't know them. They didn't
00:04:23
know me. Like what do you want to do?
00:04:24
You know, and I didn't know. I thought
00:04:26
people might say a Wayne's World thing
00:04:27
or something like that or and you guys
00:04:30
both said uh our favorite thing you've
00:04:33
ever done
00:04:35
is Mickey Rooney.
00:04:37
>> Yeah.
00:04:39
And like that was your Mickey Rooney
00:04:42
was,
00:04:43
you know, we were talking about how we
00:04:45
were going to ask you to do it before
00:04:48
you came in the room. It was it was sort
00:04:50
of like, okay, the the week is here.
00:04:52
He's here.
00:04:54
>> I immediately
00:04:55
>> And by the way,
00:04:56
>> Dana, you then told us we knew the
00:04:59
impression from
00:05:01
>> um Theater Stories, the sketch you did
00:05:05
on the show. Mhm.
00:05:07
>> I had never heard the unused anecdotes
00:05:12
of Mickey Rooney until that day and I
00:05:14
think it's the hardest I've ever
00:05:15
laughed.
00:05:16
>> Um
00:05:17
>> was the uh was the Juan Corona story
00:05:20
which you now have to tell.
00:05:22
>> Oh
00:05:22
>> yeah.
00:05:23
>> Um Mickey Rooney, he was a down point in
00:05:26
his career and he had a 38 revolver with
00:05:29
him at all times. We were, you know, and
00:05:30
he would wave it around.
00:05:31
>> He was he had
00:05:33
>> he was at one of the rare down points.
00:05:35
Yeah. And he had the gun and he walk
00:05:37
around and New York had a crime spree
00:05:39
going then in like 1981. He would said
00:05:41
he would walk around with his hand on
00:05:42
the 38 and they're not going to get me,
00:05:45
you know. But he he said he told a story
00:05:48
where he his idea
00:05:50
>> at this time Dana at this time Dana you
00:05:52
you were doing a multicam with him.
00:05:55
>> Yes.
00:05:55
>> In 30 Rockefeller
00:05:56
>> with Meg Ryan, Nathan Lane, Scatman Cars
00:06:00
uh in where Letterman and then Conan did
00:06:03
their thing. though. But he did at one
00:06:05
point said he wanted to go meet Juan
00:06:07
Corona, the serial killer or whatever
00:06:09
murderer.
00:06:10
>> And he he says I was going to walk in
00:06:12
there and say, "Do you know my name?"
00:06:14
And he say, "I'm Mickey Rooney." And
00:06:16
then I was going to plug him.
00:06:21
>> If I do Mickey Rooney stories, every
00:06:23
time I start to talk about them with
00:06:25
people, there's new tributaries and
00:06:26
things that I forgot to mention. But
00:06:28
maybe that Mickey stories do that as a
00:06:32
sub podcast like a 20 minute a week.
00:06:34
>> I think about I think about the Mickey
00:06:36
story a lot because
00:06:40
>> I like that he thought he could walk
00:06:43
into a maximum security prison.
00:06:46
>> Like he he what he had worked out in his
00:06:48
mind was what he was going to say.
00:06:51
>> Yeah.
00:06:51
>> Not not any of the logistics of walking
00:06:53
in. I believe Juan Corona was probably
00:06:56
a commuted death row sentence, but he
00:06:59
would have not been just in an open
00:07:01
prison sitch where Mickey Rooney could
00:07:03
walk in
00:07:05
land land a great in quotes line and
00:07:09
then shoot him.
00:07:10
>> I never went that far of the logistics
00:07:12
of his mindset like how would he get in
00:07:14
there? How you know?
00:07:16
>> He Yeah, he but he worked out. He goes,
00:07:18
"Listen, I don't know how to get a gun
00:07:19
into a jail. I I don't know what'll
00:07:21
happen the moment after I fire it, but
00:07:23
I've got I've know what I'm going to
00:07:24
say, which is, "Do you know who I am?"
00:07:27
>> John, I've been in a lot of gunfights
00:07:28
out in the street and you you think
00:07:30
you'll have a lot of time to do
00:07:32
oneliners, but it just moves too
00:07:33
quickly.
00:07:34
>> That's true. A lot of people only plan
00:07:36
the logistics and then they don't
00:07:38
>> when they land on their mark, they don't
00:07:40
have a great line.
00:07:41
>> That's right. Or you miss it and you go,
00:07:42
"Ah, the one chance I had and I kind of
00:07:44
fluffered my line." What I would have
00:07:46
liked is if Mickey Rooney entered the
00:07:49
prison,
00:07:50
>> uh, looked at Juan Corona and said, "Do
00:07:53
you know who I am?" And if Juan Corona
00:07:55
said, "You're Mickey Rooney." Then
00:07:57
Mickey Rooney wouldn't be able to go
00:07:59
Mickey Rooney. And then I that could
00:08:01
have saved Juan's life
00:08:03
>> cuz they would have had he had to
00:08:04
explain what he was in. Oh yeah. He
00:08:06
goes, "Oh, you are Mickey." No, no. Or
00:08:09
if he said, "You're Don Knots." And then
00:08:10
he goes, "Wait,
00:08:12
>> Don Knots.
00:08:14
I was throwing the whole vibe off.
00:08:16
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:08:17
>> You know, uh, John is wearing a hoodie,
00:08:19
Dana. And, um, I feel like
00:08:22
>> most people see don't see you out and
00:08:25
about. So, is it sort of hoodie, suit,
00:08:29
suit, hoodie? What is it? Is there any
00:08:31
in between?
00:08:32
>> Um, since having a baby, it is.
00:08:36
>> Congratulations.
00:08:37
>> The same pair. Thank you. the same pair
00:08:40
of
00:08:41
>> elastic drawstring khakis
00:08:45
>> and a free t-shirt.
00:08:48
>> That is what I wear.
00:08:49
>> Merch or something.
00:08:50
>> Yeah, like a a Jimmy Kimmel t-shirt. Uh
00:08:54
>> I have a um I have one from the Robin
00:08:57
Hood Foundation from a charity thing I
00:08:59
did. I have one for every venue. I ask
00:09:02
for a free t-shirt. Uh, I have a Houston
00:09:06
Astros one, a team and a city I have no
00:09:09
affiliation with. I wear that very
00:09:11
>> often. But John, doesn't that invite
00:09:13
conversation? Like I just wear black
00:09:16
t-shirts. If I wear anything with
00:09:17
something on it invites conversation and
00:09:19
I'm an introvert at like an airport or
00:09:22
something,
00:09:23
>> also known as an [ __ ]
00:09:24
>> Yeah, I remember. Yeah. Yeah, that's
00:09:26
that's true. Especially in a black
00:09:27
t-shirt.
00:09:28
>> You can't be introverted and wear a
00:09:30
black t-shirt. It's very standoffish.
00:09:31
>> Yes. Yes. They say, "Hey, how about
00:09:34
those Astros?" And John's in the airport
00:09:36
going, "Oh, fuck."
00:09:37
>> Then John later that night,
00:09:39
>> yeah, I go, "Yeah, they've got a full
00:09:41
team this year." And I
00:09:43
>> looks like they got a roster.
00:09:44
>> But maybe John's the kind of
00:09:46
>> full roster this year.
00:09:47
>> You're the type of comedian that if
00:09:48
someone said, "How about those Astros at
00:09:51
the airport?" It seems to me that you
00:09:53
might have 10 minutes on it within a day
00:09:55
or two. the way you write things out uh
00:09:58
from a
00:09:59
>> hell I know I'm a bit of a I'm a bit of
00:10:01
a story seeker. So, um
00:10:04
>> David is too.
00:10:05
>> Yeah, I think I'd be delighted if that
00:10:06
happened.
00:10:06
>> Me, too.
00:10:08
>> You know what I saw on your uh when I
00:10:10
was looking up stuff about you? Oh, I
00:10:12
have a couple questions. One, when you
00:10:14
started uh I mean, this is SNL stuff. We
00:10:17
can go backwards.
00:10:18
>> It's like I do with comedy notes. It's
00:10:20
just
00:10:21
>> Yeah, you're you're [ __ ] You're going
00:10:22
to get from all sides.
00:10:23
>> No, we we just go wherever. We've We're
00:10:25
already halfway through.
00:10:26
>> I start I when I started, Lauren, um I
00:10:29
saw a couple things you did uh talking
00:10:31
about SNL and we're just going to really
00:10:33
regurgitate them for a slightly bigger
00:10:35
audience. We don't know.
00:10:36
>> And I hope we'll have a chance to go
00:10:38
through what the week is like.
00:10:40
>> Yeah. We're going to talk about No one's
00:10:42
ever been covered in any media. Yeah.
00:10:45
>> And what your relationship is with
00:10:46
Lauren Michaels. We're going to break
00:10:48
break the seal on that,
00:10:49
>> dude. The the code of Amuerta that
00:10:52
surrounds that office.
00:10:54
I like that the code of them where
00:10:56
>> when you started did you do Here's my
00:10:59
question because I was assigned promos.
00:11:02
Did you do promos?
00:11:05
>> Right.
00:11:05
>> Um so all writers wrote a promo. You're
00:11:10
talking about the Thursday standing on
00:11:11
the stage promo.
00:11:13
>> Yep.
00:11:14
>> All writers had to submit promos.
00:11:17
I was I I wasn't uniquely bad at it, but
00:11:21
that's kind that's not a skill I have.
00:11:24
>> That's a very special skill.
00:11:26
>> I always wanted promos to be really
00:11:30
minimal and weird and I would try to
00:11:34
engineer that to happen. Um, and of
00:11:37
course, uh, I was wrong. I just I don't
00:11:40
have a knack for that. I was very
00:11:42
jealous to hear that you were on the
00:11:43
floor every week when you were writer
00:11:45
doing promo.
00:11:46
>> Did you hear that? Oh, that is true.
00:11:47
Yeah. Um,
00:11:48
>> yeah. Where you were said that on this
00:11:49
podcast. Yeah.
00:11:50
>> Yeah. What happened was I was an okay
00:11:53
writer and I was new and it was sort of
00:11:54
jury duty. Like Downey would be like,
00:11:56
"Who can we lose for the the couple
00:11:59
hours during the rewrites?" And none of
00:12:01
the writers wanted to do it cuz your
00:12:03
your nose is in the rewrites. And so we
00:12:05
go send Spade down and Lauren Lauren and
00:12:09
I got along. But you know, there's not
00:12:10
much getting along there. It's just
00:12:11
promos. But you do get to see the host
00:12:13
in the music, which that's fun. But the
00:12:15
pressure
00:12:16
>> that that Thursday that Thursday
00:12:18
afternoon mess of like uh you know Tom
00:12:23
Petty and the Heartbreakers uh doing
00:12:25
soundcheck and then
00:12:27
>> Mhm.
00:12:27
>> trying to corral a host and a cast
00:12:29
member for promos was a lot of fun.
00:12:31
>> Oh that is true. They like to have a
00:12:32
cast member in and you could write them
00:12:34
in. And it was kind of a little power
00:12:35
trip, but you have to say for people
00:12:37
listening, there's like I don't know 10
00:12:40
seconds and then you have to put hi, I'm
00:12:43
blank with musical guest blank and then
00:12:46
there's like 4 seconds left for a joke
00:12:48
and they've already done 10 million
00:12:50
promos. You're trying to think of
00:12:51
anything weird or different. And I would
00:12:53
personally have to write about 20, give
00:12:56
them to Marcy Klein, she would hand them
00:12:58
in to Lauren or whoever were the host.
00:13:00
And they would kill a lot of them, you
00:13:02
know, like the host would kill a couple.
00:13:04
>> They kill them now having hosted, they
00:13:06
kill them with prejudice. They even go
00:13:09
like, "We hate this one. We hate that.
00:13:12
We hate this one. We know you won't like
00:13:14
it. It's mean. It's mean about you. This
00:13:18
writer's an [ __ ] you know, read it."
00:13:19
And I go, "Oh, okay."
00:13:21
>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This writer is trying
00:13:23
to [ __ ] you over. I remember I just saw
00:13:25
a clip of someone
00:13:26
>> on Instagram and it was a live shot of
00:13:29
promos and it was Eddie Veter was music.
00:13:33
Amelia West is the host and it's me and
00:13:35
Lauren just milling around in the black
00:13:37
back and I'm pointing pointing and
00:13:39
showing Eddie Vet or something and then
00:13:40
Lauren nods his head like do that one do
00:13:42
the one then we step back and they go
00:13:44
three two. So they had like a three
00:13:46
minute chunk of promos which was I
00:13:48
didn't know they're filming. It's so
00:13:49
weird that that would get out somewhere.
00:13:51
And wouldn't Lauren, if you finally got
00:13:52
it, wouldn't he put his hands in his
00:13:54
pocket and then turn and walk away? I
00:13:56
don't know. It seemed like
00:13:58
>> I liked it.
00:13:58
>> Hands in the pocket and he would pivot.
00:14:00
>> But I like You like it? Yeah.
00:14:02
>> I like say something cryptic like,
00:14:05
"Well, less is less."
00:14:07
>> Yeah.
00:14:08
>> Um, some people think it's funny.
00:14:12
See you on See you at the party.
00:14:14
>> Are we trying to repel viewers?
00:14:17
>> You know, we're on in all 50 states. I
00:14:19
feel like was a note I got a lot on
00:14:22
monologue jokes as if I was I was so as
00:14:25
if I was writing like for the crowd at
00:14:28
CBGB's in New York.
00:14:32
>> Sort of like he goes I know below 14th
00:14:35
Street that works. He said
00:14:37
>> I love that he literally just thinks of
00:14:39
America as just New York.
00:14:41
>> Uh especially right before there's going
00:14:44
to be a vacation or a break. It'd be
00:14:46
this our last show before the break and
00:14:48
it would be like nice if it was like
00:14:50
really really funny.
00:14:52
>> You're gonna see a lot of people over
00:14:53
the break and wouldn't you like it if
00:14:55
they said, "Hey, that last show was
00:14:57
really good."
00:14:57
>> No, we're not nervous enough.
00:14:59
>> And also I was like, "Are you seeing a
00:15:01
bunch of people during break?" Cuz I'm
00:15:03
laying on my couch watching DVDs with
00:15:05
like a sty in my eye. Only Lauren was
00:15:07
doing heavy socializing during the
00:15:09
break.
00:15:09
>> His endurance to work that. Yeah. No one
00:15:12
like him. A lot of people will tell you
00:15:14
you're the funniest one in the show.
00:15:15
You're not.
00:15:16
>> Wow.
00:15:17
>> That's what I got a lot
00:15:18
>> really.
00:15:19
>> And I go, "Oh." And he goes, "It just
00:15:22
happens. It's okay." And I go, "Well, it
00:15:25
stings a little to hear that.
00:15:28
I did I didn't knock on his door and
00:15:30
say, Lauren, I'm hearing a lot of people
00:15:33
say I'm the funniest person."
00:15:36
It could be actually it be now kind of
00:15:39
being now being out of it for many years
00:15:41
and and having a wonderful
00:15:43
>> I mean I always love Lauren but having a
00:15:45
really nice relationship with him. It
00:15:47
would be fun to go back and do those
00:15:49
things.
00:15:51
>> Do you think I went I don't mean to
00:15:52
interrupt you. You're with Chris Dodd
00:15:54
but do you think I'm the funniest
00:15:58
writer?
00:15:58
>> Senator Senator
00:16:00
>> because a lot of people in my family in
00:16:01
my high school say I should be on more.
00:16:03
Thoughts on that?
00:16:08
I have family in Milwaukee that think I
00:16:10
should be on. They're [ __ ] you, man.
00:16:13
>> Well, you weren't as stressed, were you?
00:16:15
Because you were just writing and then
00:16:16
they would pop you an update, which is
00:16:18
like more of a gift and it wasn't
00:16:20
expected. Total gift.
00:16:21
>> It's probably better.
00:16:22
>> I had the absolute best situation
00:16:26
um that you could ask for.
00:16:29
Uh, honestly, like I look back on it and
00:16:32
I was I had a there were a few gifts.
00:16:35
Um, it looked like you were getting up
00:16:37
and leaving, David.
00:16:37
>> No, no, I I haven't even
00:16:39
>> No, I like the idea that like as a
00:16:40
listener that sometimes when someone's
00:16:42
about to go into a long story, David
00:16:44
always just does a quick errand.
00:16:46
>> Yeah, I go I just got to go wash my car.
00:16:49
>> Um, so I writing there means producing
00:16:53
there like as you know. So you got to
00:16:56
produce live television. you work with
00:16:58
every department and you're really you
00:17:00
really own your piece. You you do
00:17:02
everything for it and you're given
00:17:04
you're given a nice amount of credit
00:17:06
behind the scenes for it. Um I'd already
00:17:09
been doing standup and continued doing
00:17:11
it and do you know what made the biggest
00:17:13
difference though? I got to pop up on
00:17:15
update and honestly Bill her when when
00:17:19
he would do press about the sh you know
00:17:22
about about something and they'd talk to
00:17:24
him about sketches on the show
00:17:26
>> it means a lot to me the more the more
00:17:29
over the years I think about it like he
00:17:31
would always name me and give me credit
00:17:32
for it.
00:17:33
>> Yeah.
00:17:33
>> Um which
00:17:36
was not done a lot before that and
00:17:39
>> um just
00:17:40
>> I try not to do it.
00:17:42
>> Yeah. No, I try not to do it now that
00:17:44
I'm more of an on camera guy,
00:17:47
>> but um no, I uh that seems it really
00:17:50
meant a lot because it was sort of like,
00:17:52
oh, there uh I I I felt like I had a bit
00:17:55
of a um reputation in comedy as oh there
00:17:58
he's a writer there and we sometimes
00:18:00
hear about what he's written,
00:18:02
>> right? And at the same time, I got to
00:18:03
pop up on Update a couple times, which
00:18:06
like, yeah, that's just that's just 10
00:18:10
million people. I've been on VH1
00:18:13
uh VH1's Best Week ever a 100,000 times
00:18:17
at that point. So, I was like, I've been
00:18:19
on TV, but
00:18:19
>> how what was your what was your nerve
00:18:21
level?
00:18:22
>> That's one of my questions about best
00:18:23
week ever,
00:18:24
>> being a writer and then doing Update.
00:18:26
Where was your because you're not
00:18:27
acclimated to performing. you're writing
00:18:29
and all of a sudden you're in that chair
00:18:31
and they throw you out.
00:18:32
>> That Saturday, that Saturday was like,
00:18:34
"Oh, not only am I
00:18:36
>> Yeah.
00:18:37
>> terrified as not only am I under a lot
00:18:39
of stress as a writer, but I like I have
00:18:43
to go out there tonight." Yeah. Those
00:18:45
were those were out of body.
00:18:47
>> Do you remember what you did? What what
00:18:49
what your first one was? Like here comes
00:18:51
John Melany saying a word. Yeah, I had a
00:18:54
it was Girl Scout cookie season and I
00:18:56
did an editorial about how like the Girl
00:18:58
Scout business model is completely
00:19:00
flawed because they have a like
00:19:02
tremendously popular product that they
00:19:04
sell once a year in front of like a
00:19:07
Gson's, you know, from a little lunch
00:19:09
table. Um, I can't remember specific
00:19:12
jokes about it, but uh that was that.
00:19:16
Uh, so it was like I remember thinking
00:19:18
before I did it, I was like, "This isn't
00:19:20
really I I this is sort of like a uh
00:19:23
I've got a complaint about the Girl
00:19:25
Scout cookies, you know, like hey, Girl
00:19:28
Scouts." But I was sort of like I I I'm
00:19:30
so inexperienced at this. I'd rather
00:19:32
play an attitude. So like,
00:19:35
>> you know, I'd rather pretend to be the
00:19:36
guy actually mad about this, right, than
00:19:39
not have
00:19:40
>> Matt Matt is not a bad angle on Update.
00:19:42
No. When you need a when you need
00:19:44
something and you're have nothing. It's
00:19:47
it's good to act like you are
00:19:48
exasperated by
00:19:50
>> Did you pound the table and get animated
00:19:52
or did you kind of push it?
00:19:54
>> I remember at one point I go, "Have you
00:19:55
ever put Thin Mints in the freezer?
00:19:57
They're delicious. Like sell them year
00:19:59
round." It was just it was a real like
00:20:01
uh when in doubt, act extremely
00:20:04
exasperated. Which I've followed my
00:20:06
whole career. But I remember before I
00:20:08
went out on the update desk, Lauren
00:20:09
looked at me and he said, um, he goes,
00:20:12
"Relax your face." He goes, "When you
00:20:14
get out there, take a beat. Relax your
00:20:16
face."
00:20:18
>> Oh, funny.
00:20:18
>> And look directly into the camera like
00:20:20
you're talking to someone, you know. But
00:20:22
I remember relax your face was a good
00:20:24
note because I was going to come out
00:20:27
>> like this
00:20:27
>> looking extremely highrung.
00:20:33
>> John, let me add Dana. I just have seven
00:20:36
in a row. I have seven in a row for
00:20:37
John.
00:20:38
>> Questions.
00:20:39
>> Uh John, when you go out there and it's
00:20:42
Saturday and you're doing update,
00:20:44
>> I think when you're writer, the one
00:20:46
extra love uh layer you don't think of
00:20:49
is how you look. And it sounds
00:20:51
egotistical, but all day you're like,
00:20:53
"Oh, wait. I got to get hair, makeup.
00:20:55
What am I wearing?"
00:20:56
>> And and then sometimes they'll go, "I
00:20:59
wouldn't wear that."
00:21:01
>> And you go, "For an update? What do I
00:21:03
wear?" And they won't tell you what to
00:21:04
wear. But
00:21:05
>> yeah, not that.
00:21:06
>> Yeah.
00:21:07
>> Not that. Yeah. No, I remember I brought
00:21:09
my little shirt and sport coat from home
00:21:13
>> and it was like a blue shirt and a navy
00:21:15
blue jacket. It was the, you know,
00:21:16
safest
00:21:19
>> safest possible choice. I
00:21:21
>> tested safest. Yeah.
00:21:23
>> I remember showing it to Tom Broker in
00:21:25
costumes and being like I go I go I was
00:21:28
thinking of this and he goes he g he
00:21:30
went Yeah. as if like to say like,
00:21:33
"Look, we couldn't we have an entire
00:21:35
show to design. We couldn't possibly
00:21:37
care what you wear on on your cut it
00:21:39
dress update."
00:21:41
>> Well, that's honest. That's That's
00:21:43
>> You think we're getting on? Oh. Oh, you
00:21:45
think you're going all the way to the
00:21:46
show? Oh,
00:21:46
>> I know. Yeah, it was that. And I think I
00:21:48
said to him like, "This this shirt
00:21:50
doesn't uh it don't worry. It doesn't
00:21:52
like moray on camera." You know, the
00:21:55
dance on camera.
00:21:56
>> Yeah. It doesn't dance on. Don't worry,
00:21:58
Tom. my shirt will be fine on air.
00:22:01
>> He goes, "You'll cross my mind at 11
00:22:03
when I realize you're on the show."
00:22:05
>> Yeah. And then we'll ask you to maybe do
00:22:07
something about the adult acne.
00:22:09
>> So I go, "Hey, Tom, I brought a shirt.
00:22:11
It doesn't wrinkle. I got one of those
00:22:13
kinds. It doesn't wrinkle." He's like,
00:22:14
"I don't give a [ __ ] dude." And I'm
00:22:15
like, "Okay."
00:22:18
>> As if as if as if like uh Emmy and Tony
00:22:22
award-winning costume designers would be
00:22:24
impressed by a wrinkle-free shirt.
00:22:25
>> Yeah, I know. That's the funniest part.
00:22:27
>> How did you get that, man? They're like,
00:22:28
"Well, we're all worried about what
00:22:29
you're doing on the show. We don't
00:22:31
care."
00:22:32
>> Did anyone ever call any old-timer ever
00:22:34
call you kid? Because any you used that
00:22:36
in your specials.
00:22:37
>> Hey kid, it ain't going to work out for
00:22:39
you, kid. I'll be honest with you, kid.
00:22:42
>> I will say what was nice was that even
00:22:44
people like Philheims.
00:22:46
>> Yeah. Lighting director.
00:22:48
>> They learn they like the everyone in the
00:22:50
booth and they learn your name, which
00:22:52
means, you know. So, I didn't get kid,
00:22:54
but I uh uh I once had a sketch on that
00:23:00
was like an it was an impression parade.
00:23:02
It was just every cast member doing an
00:23:04
impression and I changed it a great deal
00:23:07
>> in between dress and air. So, on air I
00:23:09
watched in the booth and it didn't go
00:23:12
great.
00:23:14
>> It was a little clunky and I'm walking
00:23:15
out of the booth and Phil I walk past
00:23:18
Phil. I'm pretty, you know, it's at a
00:23:20
low point in the season, like it's like
00:23:22
February doldrums or something. I'm
00:23:24
walking past Phil and he goes, "Not your
00:23:26
best work." And I and I was like getting
00:23:29
this I was getting this like I've been
00:23:31
here four years kind of edge. So I was
00:23:34
like, "What Phil?" You know, like what
00:23:36
>> you got up in his grill.
00:23:38
>> And he went and he went, "You know why
00:23:39
that wasn't good?"
00:23:42
>> And I go I go, "Why?" And he goes, "None
00:23:44
of the people sounded like the people."
00:23:47
And that's not your fault.
00:23:49
>> But Phil,
00:23:50
>> I know. But I like that that review of
00:23:52
an impression piece. None of the people
00:23:54
sounded like
00:23:55
>> Yeah, that's a really what you don't
00:23:57
want to hear.
00:23:57
>> Just so listeners know, Philheims was he
00:24:00
seemed old the entire time I was there.
00:24:02
And he he had this cranky exterior, but
00:24:04
then he was an incredible heart of gold
00:24:07
underneath and incredibly sweet,
00:24:09
>> but he was kind of intimidating in the
00:24:11
early days. What do you want? What do
00:24:13
you want? You want a light there? We
00:24:14
can't get it there. you know, but then
00:24:15
he was do then he would put the light
00:24:17
there. I got it for you, kid.
00:24:19
>> And then Yeah.
00:24:19
>> Yeah.
00:24:20
>> And uh we we were once doing um I think
00:24:23
Fred as Obama.
00:24:26
>> I didn't write it. Colin Jo wrote it. It
00:24:28
was like a Christmas time Oval Office
00:24:31
piece and we wanted um Fred to look out
00:24:34
the um uh windows behind the desk in the
00:24:38
Oval Office and see like snow falling
00:24:41
like a kind of a cheesy Christmas
00:24:43
moment. So, we were I remember I was for
00:24:45
some reason on the floor with Colin and
00:24:47
Seth. We were telling Phil how
00:24:53
we thought it should look.
00:24:55
>> Oh, boy.
00:24:56
>> And he looked at us and he went, "I lit
00:24:58
John Kennedy in the White House." He
00:24:59
walked away.
00:25:00
>> Oh, wow.
00:25:02
>> Yeah.
00:25:03
>> That's so
00:25:03
>> David, I heard a story that you you and
00:25:06
Phil had like a close relationship. Is
00:25:07
that right,
00:25:08
>> Phils?
00:25:09
>> Yeah. Uh, I did think I mean other than
00:25:12
having sex, we were just sort of like
00:25:14
buddy buddy. Uh, no, we um he would just
00:25:17
always bust my balls when I'd walk
00:25:18
around there. So, I thought it was
00:25:20
funny.
00:25:20
>> Well, I heard when you were hosting he
00:25:21
came out and said, "Oh, god, he's back."
00:25:25
>> Yeah, of course.
00:25:26
>> That's very funny.
00:25:27
>> And I heard you said And I heard you
00:25:28
said, "Phil, I I heard you died you."
00:25:33
>> Well, he is old.
00:25:34
>> Well, but he was 60 for 50 years. I
00:25:37
mean, he was Yeah. You No,
00:25:39
>> he was a hard 90 when I met him. It was
00:25:42
like that. I think one of the first
00:25:43
things I learned at SNL was that Don
00:25:45
Partardo and Philheims, two extremely
00:25:48
integral people here, are solidly north
00:25:51
of
00:25:51
>> 90. Mid to late 90s and spry.
00:25:56
>> Yeah. Like one of the most a couple of
00:25:57
the most important people here are north
00:26:00
of 90 and like
00:26:02
>> you got to give them a wide birth at the
00:26:04
pudding table. I I heard you say
00:26:06
something about asking about how people
00:26:09
date the host now and I thought it was
00:26:12
so funny because I think you were saying
00:26:14
that it sound for us it it sounds a
00:26:17
little dicey like back in our day the
00:26:20
hosts were so off limits as far as just
00:26:22
it mentally you know you don't do
00:26:24
anything and I I remember we had and you
00:26:27
have beautiful hosts we have talented I
00:26:29
think Marissa Toé was there after my
00:26:31
cousin Vinnie and there's so many that
00:26:33
were great But I would be so scared if
00:26:36
if you even flirted with a host and it
00:26:39
got back to you, you know, like they
00:26:41
complained like HR and then Lauren
00:26:44
David, uh, were you asking out Susan
00:26:47
Day? You're making her uncomfortable.
00:26:51
Like if it came back that you were
00:26:52
making a host uncomfortable, wouldn't
00:26:54
that be It's obviously worked every time
00:26:56
so far, but it seems like if you asked
00:26:59
that host and they didn't like it, then
00:27:00
it would be so you'd be in so much
00:27:02
trouble. I I can't I literally I didn't
00:27:05
even know we could
00:27:08
like
00:27:09
>> hang out.
00:27:10
>> Yeah. I would have never been like, you
00:27:12
know, I I would always be like, I'll
00:27:13
have I'll have the I'll have a page call
00:27:16
your manager's assistant, you know, the
00:27:18
idea of even like reaching out
00:27:20
personally and I wrote a lot
00:27:22
>> outside the show. I wrote a lot of mon
00:27:24
no during the week I mean like I wrote a
00:27:25
lot of monologues and occasionally
00:27:27
there'd be this like hey Thursday night
00:27:30
2 am
00:27:32
>> or Friday night 2 am the host wants the
00:27:35
host suddenly has a thought about the
00:27:36
monologue and that that that was fine
00:27:38
that's what the schedule was. Um but
00:27:41
like yeah to even be to even be in um
00:27:46
contact with a host let alone ask them
00:27:49
out the
00:27:49
>> and without having a script in your hand
00:27:51
to walk up to him for what reason? You
00:27:53
know what I mean? I know.
00:27:54
>> Hey, what's up?
00:27:56
>> I I always felt like when Simon Rich and
00:27:58
I in most weeks we wrote a monologue for
00:28:01
the host. Um I always I didn't even
00:28:04
sense if they thought we were writers.
00:28:06
Like I think they thought we were just
00:28:07
like two children with pieces of paper
00:28:12
>> who kept asking them like not personal
00:28:14
questions but like Wikipedia level
00:28:16
questions be like
00:28:17
>> we would just be like so um maybe
00:28:19
something about I I think your family
00:28:21
has a lot of dogs and they'd be like why
00:28:24
why are you telling me about that? Be
00:28:26
like we're just trying to think of any
00:28:27
angle for you. Yeah, it is hard because
00:28:29
no one introduced you like as the
00:28:30
writers you just walk up and they go
00:28:32
ask, you know, and you have to go up to
00:28:34
some huge star and say, "Hey,
00:28:36
>> I I always liked Tuesday night when they
00:28:41
bring the host around to each office
00:28:43
because they could be the biggest star
00:28:45
in the world, but they had to sit on my
00:28:47
couch." Like, they had to sit
00:28:50
>> on my fil like with me and Bobby Moahan
00:28:54
>> smoking inside.
00:28:56
>> Wow. Wow. with the window cracked
00:28:59
>> as if that's at all acceptable. And like
00:29:02
you just had to sit there, Mcjagger.
00:29:05
>> Sit there. And now you're going to hear
00:29:06
a crummy idea.
00:29:07
>> Now you're going to Now you're going to
00:29:09
hear an idea that kind of makes fun of
00:29:10
you that you won't like.
00:29:12
>> Now you're going to hear a fake idea.
00:29:14
And then if you like it, it's a real
00:29:16
idea. I I I make fake questions. I go,
00:29:19
"Uh, Mick, uh, can you do a Russian
00:29:22
accent?"
00:29:25
And he goes, "Uh, probably." And I go,
00:29:28
"No, this one's out."
00:29:30
>> I crumple it up.
00:29:31
>> That's very
00:29:32
>> I go, I'll save this for uh next week.
00:29:34
>> I remember pitching an idea in my office
00:29:36
to Josh Brolan
00:29:39
and he went, "I mean, well, it's not
00:29:41
funny."
00:29:42
>> Yeah.
00:29:42
>> And I thought I was like, "Okay, that's
00:29:44
the then that's the litmus test. I like
00:29:48
I'm not gonna Oh, he was sort of like I
00:29:50
mean and he I I didn't mean to make it
00:29:53
sound like he was really harsh. It was
00:29:55
more like well you can write it. It's
00:29:57
not funny. And I was like well then and
00:29:59
you've just saved me a couple hours.
00:30:01
>> You could spend the rest of the night
00:30:03
writing it. I'll I'll pull it from read
00:30:05
through.
00:30:06
>> Yeah. And I'll have it pulled and I'll
00:30:07
make and I'll let them know I told you I
00:30:09
didn't like it. So you'll you'll be in
00:30:11
trouble with Marcy. Dude, when a when a
00:30:13
host is reading a sketch and if it's
00:30:15
your sketch and they and they quietly
00:30:17
give up in the middle, it's so sickening
00:30:20
just to watch them take a dive and like
00:30:22
they don't really get it.
00:30:23
>> I've seen I've seen hosts suddenly put
00:30:26
like the the celery in their mouths,
00:30:28
like truly be like, I'm going to eat
00:30:30
during the rest of this.
00:30:32
>> Just a signal. Yeah.
00:30:33
>> Or they're whispering if they can get an
00:30:35
order of food sent in during your
00:30:36
sketch, like hey, is there any way they
00:30:38
can?
00:30:39
>> You always try to discern a little bit.
00:30:41
I know we've talked about this before,
00:30:43
like Lauren reading the stage
00:30:45
directions. Does he stay involved? Does
00:30:48
he kind of think he's hooking something
00:30:50
great or is he sort of middle of the
00:30:52
road or is he done with it? There's a
00:30:55
whole energy thing. It's hard to tell
00:30:56
sometimes.
00:30:57
>> Yeah, cuz Lauren reads the stage
00:30:59
directions and he starts out pretty high
00:31:02
energy like CNN bumper.
00:31:04
>> Yeah.
00:31:05
>> Uh and then
00:31:08
>> that's at 3. I like I like when he kind
00:31:10
of summarizes it towards the end. Like
00:31:14
he'll start to summarize it like uh uh
00:31:17
Christian has a hat and walks in and
00:31:20
it's there like he'll read a whole
00:31:22
paragraph and boil it down to
00:31:25
uh Kristen Kristen enters
00:31:29
uh as McIntyre
00:31:35
five hours.
00:31:35
>> It really takes the energy out of it and
00:31:37
you're like oh he's he gave up. Uh,
00:31:39
David inter when people write long stage
00:31:42
directions to describe some farcical
00:31:45
like slamming doors come like you know
00:31:48
who's going to read that, don't you?
00:31:50
Like you know how that'll get presented
00:31:51
at read to don't you homie?
00:31:52
>> Yeah. Or they write like a Schneider
00:31:54
used to write or he would call you out
00:31:57
like if you go uh and then the uh Dorman
00:32:01
played by Phils and everyone laughs and
00:32:03
Rob goes trick not a real laugh don't
00:32:05
count it. He would yell that out during
00:32:08
reboot.
00:32:08
>> Yeah, he would say trick. Trick because
00:32:11
he didn't want yelling that out.
00:32:12
>> Schneider.
00:32:13
>> Oh, Schneider. It's a trick. It's a
00:32:16
total trick. That's
00:32:17
>> Yeah, because you're not going to get
00:32:18
you're not going to get that laugh on
00:32:19
the real show. That's just funny.
00:32:21
>> Read through laugh. Read through laugh
00:32:23
flag,
00:32:25
>> man. How How is that graded? That seems
00:32:28
uh
00:32:28
>> Well, that's a little harsh.
00:32:31
>> No, Schneider was funny because uh he
00:32:33
would do things to almost intentionally
00:32:35
rub you wrong. just to go, "Ah, it's
00:32:37
fine."
00:32:38
>> Yeah, he was just
00:32:39
>> he he'd say about three years in,
00:32:40
"You're coming along."
00:32:42
Uh anyway,
00:32:44
by the way,
00:32:45
>> copy machine guy.
00:32:47
>> I watched your I think it was your last
00:32:49
monologue on there.
00:32:50
>> Uh any differences hosting along the way
00:32:52
other than you're just getting better at
00:32:53
it or you maybe you're not getting
00:32:54
better at it? It's
00:32:55
>> I mean five times in like with a co year
00:32:58
in between. So like in three years, five
00:33:00
or something very
00:33:01
>> that's a lot. Yeah. Two in 2020.
00:33:04
So, what's that all about?
00:33:06
>> Um, two two I'd like to do two in a
00:33:09
pandemic.
00:33:10
>> Yeah.
00:33:10
>> Uh,
00:33:11
>> that was the request.
00:33:12
>> That was um
00:33:14
>> that was a really Well, wait, what's the
00:33:17
question?
00:33:18
>> I don't know.
00:33:19
>> It was It It's been so cool. It's been
00:33:21
so fun. Um,
00:33:24
I definitely have had thoughts like I'm
00:33:27
like, "Oh, maybe the second time I
00:33:29
hosted was I I I I
00:33:33
believe when Lauren says, "You're
00:33:35
getting better each time." Because that
00:33:38
makes sense. There's moments where I go,
00:33:39
"Oh, but on the second time I hosted, I
00:33:42
had this laugh here and whatever." Um,
00:33:44
but I've had more and more fun each
00:33:46
time. The first time I hosted, I was
00:33:49
deeply in my head about um
00:33:51
>> yeah, normal.
00:33:52
>> This wasn't gonna be good. And this
00:33:54
wasn't only not going to be good, but
00:33:56
everyone was going to go see, we told
00:33:59
you to stay behind the camera. We've
00:34:01
been clear with you
00:34:03
>> where you belong in this show.
00:34:06
>> The audacity of you to show up and try
00:34:08
to do this. Like I really thought like
00:34:11
uh I had a very weird kind of uh I was
00:34:16
like I remember the Friday night before
00:34:17
I was like miserable. I was like I'm so
00:34:20
bad at SNL and that's the thing I
00:34:22
thought I knew the best and then I had a
00:34:24
really fun show and I realized that I
00:34:26
was just trying to make myself miserable
00:34:29
>> because if I'm miserable the night
00:34:30
before then it will be a good show. Like
00:34:33
that's a good trick. this trick I used
00:34:34
to do, but I try not to do it anymore
00:34:37
because it's too excruciating throughout
00:34:39
the day and like mental healthwise to
00:34:42
stretch myself to sorry to tie myself
00:34:44
into knots so that I quote unquote, you
00:34:47
know, deserve a good show because I'm so
00:34:50
miserable. Uh, by the second time I
00:34:52
hosted, I I made an active choice. I was
00:34:54
like, I'm gonna be happy all week. I'm
00:34:56
going to have fun all week. and if it's
00:34:58
a bad show, then I'll know
00:35:02
>> that it was wrong to have fun, but at
00:35:04
least I will have had fun.
00:35:06
>> And it was a very good show. So, since
00:35:07
then, I've been like, you have to enjoy
00:35:09
these weeks, otherwise
00:35:12
um otherwise what's the point?
00:35:14
>> It is it is funny to take such a beating
00:35:17
of over yourself when you host. Dana
00:35:20
probably feels the same way. You're just
00:35:21
so stressed and then at the end you're
00:35:23
like, why do I even do this? Like right
00:35:25
before the show, you're like, I feel so
00:35:26
sick and tied up and twisted and then
00:35:29
you go, I did it. You're like, so I did
00:35:31
it now. Now the fun starts and with the
00:35:33
rap party is the only time I'm starting
00:35:34
to have fun. It's over and you realize
00:35:37
could I just
00:35:39
>> get to the point or have fun the whole
00:35:40
time?
00:35:40
>> I had a little bit of uh I couldn't
00:35:43
really live up to what the lucky crazy
00:35:47
fortunate three or four years I had on
00:35:49
the show with Wayne's World and all this
00:35:50
stuff. So, you know, it was always
00:35:52
you'll do Church Lady and then it was
00:35:54
you'll do George Bush uh senior and it's
00:35:58
like 18 years later. So, there I the the
00:36:01
thing in my head was like how do I
00:36:03
compete with that across the board and
00:36:06
that was a very that was kind of
00:36:07
difficult for my I thought and
00:36:09
especially I think what's nice the way
00:36:11
you're it's happening for you John is
00:36:13
that it's kind of condensed. It's not
00:36:15
like you hosted it in 2013 and then
00:36:18
you're coming back eight years later. I
00:36:20
think it's kind of nice that you've done
00:36:22
five already in a short period of time
00:36:24
just to acclimate to that.
00:36:27
>> Yeah. Yeah. That no one's expecting a
00:36:29
lot of growth.
00:36:31
>> Well, but you have those crazy those
00:36:33
standup specials and then your monologue
00:36:35
is always great pretty much right. I
00:36:38
mean, that's that's your superpower.
00:36:40
>> And so that that sets a great,
00:36:42
>> but also like I remember saying to
00:36:44
Gerard Carmichael, who had an amazing
00:36:46
episode as a host this year, who's a
00:36:48
brilliant comedian and a brilliant many
00:36:51
things. I remember um I was like, it was
00:36:55
when I was talking to him I realized I
00:36:57
was like, "Oh, you know what? It's it's
00:36:59
eight minutes of standup
00:37:03
uh in front of 10 million people.
00:37:07
Um and you're the only thing
00:37:11
I realize it's like you're the only
00:37:13
thing on NBC for 10 minutes. Like you're
00:37:16
the your standup is the only thing
00:37:19
happening on Saturday night.
00:37:20
>> Also very relaxing.
00:37:22
>> I I find that kind of uh emboldening.
00:37:25
It's like wow.
00:37:26
>> You got to go out with an attitude.
00:37:28
Dude, I mean, how do you do your
00:37:29
specials? I mean, how many times do you
00:37:31
shoot a special like say Kid Gorgeous?
00:37:34
>> Just two two shows. That's two in one
00:37:36
night.
00:37:37
>> Two shows. Um, I think it was one night.
00:37:40
>> Yeah. And so, how do you deal with that
00:37:42
pressure if the first show in your mind
00:37:44
is like a C++? Just in your mind.
00:37:47
>> The first show of Kid Gorgeous was a C++
00:37:49
in my mind.
00:37:51
>> I was so disappointed. I couldn't
00:37:53
believe it. I'd been on tour for so long
00:37:55
and now this special was bad. It was
00:37:57
going to be so bad that everyone would
00:37:59
be mad at me uh or disappointed in me
00:38:02
and say, "You used to be good and you're
00:38:04
bad and we don't like you and all of
00:38:06
that stuff." And
00:38:07
>> have you had therapy?
00:38:09
>> Um, we'll talk about that.
00:38:10
>> No, it's it's it's funny.
00:38:12
>> I've had a ton of it, so go ahead.
00:38:14
>> Well, John, also the the cameras are
00:38:16
there. It it I've done a few, but the
00:38:18
the cameras are there. It just throws it
00:38:20
off somehow. It's just not a normal club
00:38:22
or theater night when there's cameras.
00:38:25
Everyone, the audience is stressed.
00:38:26
Everyone's different. It's just not the
00:38:28
way it normally is.
00:38:29
>> I The thing is like I remembered that
00:38:32
it's
00:38:34
um I I thought one the second show felt
00:38:38
better. So that so when I when I say I
00:38:41
came to some epiphany, I didn't. Just
00:38:43
the second show felt better. But were I
00:38:45
to pretend I had an epiphany that night,
00:38:47
I'd say no one else has done every show
00:38:51
with me, so they're not comparing them.
00:38:53
Yeah.
00:38:53
>> And this is the film of the material
00:38:56
like
00:38:57
>> um a special I a special is for the
00:39:00
cameras. And I I think it was um Whitney
00:39:03
Cummings
00:39:05
gave me that advice after she had done
00:39:07
her sitcom Whitney and then she did her
00:39:09
first special after that. And I remember
00:39:10
she said to me, "We play so big because
00:39:13
we're trying to play it at the back of
00:39:14
the room." But um she I I think it had
00:39:18
been something she learned doing a you
00:39:19
know three camera sitcom like it's for
00:39:21
the camera. And I've thought about that
00:39:23
each time since that it's for the
00:39:25
camera. The size of the performance is
00:39:27
for the camera. Um,
00:39:28
>> and also you I mean where where the area
00:39:31
where you could maybe have a good night
00:39:33
or a bad night because the material is
00:39:34
immaculate and it's really really it's
00:39:36
like a magic trick. It's so fun to watch
00:39:38
your standup.
00:39:39
>> Oh, thank
00:39:41
organically.
00:39:42
>> He's talking to me.
00:39:43
>> Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah.
00:39:44
>> I said that to David before the show.
00:39:47
But then you're also doing a lot of uh
00:39:49
sneakily physical comedy and you're
00:39:51
throwing your voice and you're moving.
00:39:53
So you're you're performing it as well.
00:39:55
So I would I would assume on some nights
00:39:58
with a hot crowd you may take a rhythm
00:40:00
slightly further or the bit you did
00:40:02
about Jagger. Not funny. You'd throw one
00:40:04
more in. Is that the where there's a
00:40:06
little bit of improv when when you're on
00:40:08
and the crowd is with you? You go to
00:40:10
that other level, right?
00:40:11
>> Oh my god. when I have when the crowd is
00:40:14
with me
00:40:16
sometimes when the crowd's not with me
00:40:18
I'm like do I even have skills be like
00:40:21
can I even can I even perform to a
00:40:24
slightly indifferent audience like I
00:40:25
should be able to do this like I should
00:40:27
be able to still do the 90 minutes
00:40:29
>> but if they're not like if you don't
00:40:32
feel like they're you know carrying your
00:40:35
chair in the
00:40:37
>> um at the Jewish wedding like you know
00:40:39
if you don't feel that like bounce
00:40:41
I'll suddenly be like, "How the hell do
00:40:43
I do this? What do I give it? Like,
00:40:45
>> what am I doing? I'm giving a speech."
00:40:48
>> Well, you think like you're horrible.
00:40:50
You're like, "Am I doing standup?"
00:40:51
Because nothing's working. It's almost
00:40:53
like, "Did this turn into a corporate
00:40:54
gig? Why am I bothering?"
00:40:55
>> Yeah. Did this turn into a corporate
00:40:57
gig? And then I always want to ask the
00:40:58
audience I want to be like, "Hey, are
00:41:00
you embarrassed for me? Is that
00:41:02
happening? Is that happening now, too?
00:41:05
>> Are you feel the discomfort in the
00:41:08
room?" And then the elephant in the room
00:41:09
that no one is saying and you can't hear
00:41:11
it is is like this realization on their
00:41:13
side. Not as good as I thought he would
00:41:16
be. I guess it's this is kind of a rough
00:41:19
night. And then sometimes it takes a lot
00:41:22
of guts and a lot of determination to go
00:41:24
[ __ ] it. And you try to win them and you
00:41:27
normally can't but you just really the
00:41:29
last
00:41:29
>> sickening. Yeah. 15 minutes.
00:41:31
>> Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, but I think
00:41:32
that's a that is the right move. I
00:41:35
remember when Nick Croll and I were
00:41:36
doing Oh Hello on Broadway, our
00:41:38
director, Alex Timbers, said to us,
00:41:40
because
00:41:41
>> doing um eight shows a week
00:41:44
>> for 16, 18 weeks, whatever it was,
00:41:47
>> brutal.
00:41:48
>> Well, we'd have crowds that were just
00:41:50
Broadway ticket holders who heard, "Oh,
00:41:52
there's a comedy." And didn't know it
00:41:53
was me and Nick screaming in turtlenecks
00:41:56
and being insane. And uh Alex Timbers
00:42:01
said to us, "Hey, um I noticed that some
00:42:04
nights when the crowds aren't great, you
00:42:06
guys decide to pull way back and just
00:42:09
amuse each other and you do the show
00:42:11
poorly." And we were like, "Yeah, cuz
00:42:13
[ __ ] them, right?"
00:42:15
>> It's only $300 a
00:42:17
>> I remember. I remember he goes, "Here's
00:42:18
an idea. When they're not good, you guys
00:42:22
try to be twice as good." And we were
00:42:25
like, "Oh." as if it was like another
00:42:27
way to show them we don't care. But it
00:42:29
was a good trick he
00:42:31
>> put in our heads because now when it's
00:42:34
bad, I think, well, I'm going to pretend
00:42:36
this is on film.
00:42:38
>> Sure.
00:42:39
>> And people will study it. Uh
00:42:42
in terms of how how good you can be even
00:42:44
when a crowd is bad,
00:42:46
>> I think people, you know, when you're
00:42:47
not doing well and people later say,
00:42:49
"No, it was good." There are some people
00:42:50
that smile and the vibe of the crowd
00:42:52
isn't to be too noisy. So they don't
00:42:55
want to be too loud. So they're just
00:42:56
kind of liking it and smiling and they
00:42:58
don't know it's a bad show. And later
00:42:59
they go,
00:43:00
>> "Oh, they don't.
00:43:01
>> I thought it was great." And you're
00:43:02
like, and you're telling them how bad it
00:43:04
was, and they're like, "No, it wasn't
00:43:05
that bad."
00:43:06
>> Yeah. And you go like, "That part that
00:43:08
part normally gets that part normally
00:43:11
goes to applause." And normally
00:43:15
>> normally Yeah.
00:43:16
>> They're like, "That was my favorite
00:43:17
part." And I'm like, "A lot of times
00:43:18
there's someone in the front row that
00:43:20
looks like my dad." So I go, "Oh, there
00:43:22
he is now." And Evan, that normally goes
00:43:24
to applause, but that didn't happen
00:43:25
tonight.
00:43:26
>> And they're like, "Oh, so it was bad."
00:43:28
You know,
00:43:28
>> what is it about be when we were when I
00:43:31
was coming up, like Steve Martin was
00:43:33
God, he was huge, and he would play
00:43:34
stadiums or arenas, and now there's so
00:43:37
many comedians, I'll bring it back
00:43:39
around to you, that just are playing
00:43:41
20,000 seaters. And I don't know when
00:43:43
this started for you, but now you're
00:43:45
playing Madison Square Garden for four
00:43:47
nights, if I read it right, or three
00:43:48
nights.
00:43:49
>> Three nights. Three nights.
00:43:50
>> So, what does that do to your brain? How
00:43:52
do you think about yourself? Like cuz
00:43:55
that is so much love of your fans. I
00:43:58
mean, it's just like insane, right? How
00:44:00
do you wrap your mind around that?
00:44:02
>> One should not get used to it. Um I just
00:44:06
keep thinking that like
00:44:09
it's pretty
00:44:11
it's pretty funny, man. It's pretty
00:44:14
>> Yeah, it's just a big room. It's a big
00:44:17
room.
00:44:17
>> Well, it's it's so I mean, I just want
00:44:19
to give you a compliment. It's so hard
00:44:20
to get to those big venues. And I was
00:44:22
looking, you're on a tour right now, and
00:44:24
if you look at the venues, I'm like,
00:44:25
"Holy [ __ ] this guy is hitting the
00:44:27
biggest spots." And Hollywood Bowl is
00:44:29
huge. Who would ever get to play that as
00:44:31
a standup? You don't even think of that
00:44:32
when you're standing.
00:44:33
>> Yeah, he's playing Northern California.
00:44:35
There's a stadium in the Sierra Neadas,
00:44:37
and it's an open air thing. And John is
00:44:40
>> playing Yellowstone.
00:44:41
>> He's playing,
00:44:43
>> but what what do you do with
00:44:46
>> like when you go out? It feels um it's
00:44:49
like it's it's um
00:44:52
it's a kind of I wouldn't say okay
00:44:57
um I wouldn't say it's impostor syndrome
00:45:00
which might sound really arrogant. I
00:45:01
don't mean like I I'm up there and I'm
00:45:03
like yeah I belong here but I do
00:45:05
recognize that the crowds have grown and
00:45:07
grown and now we're in a now we're in a
00:45:10
basketball court
00:45:13
>> and that's home base. Yeah.
00:45:15
>> Yeah. Yeah. So, there's sort of a like,
00:45:18
okay, this is where it's at now. Um, and
00:45:22
I'm so l There's a few things happening
00:45:24
at once. It's only been this year that
00:45:25
I've played arenas. It's the first tour
00:45:28
I've had since a couple trips to rehab
00:45:31
institutions. So,
00:45:33
>> what what what what do you mean rehab? I
00:45:35
haven't heard this story. What's
00:45:38
>> Well, listen, no one knows about this.
00:45:39
Well, that that I want to ask you only
00:45:41
about that how it pertains to your
00:45:43
standup just because
00:45:44
>> Well, it pertains to like um I think if
00:45:46
I um
00:45:49
Oh, man. Thank god cocaine and arenas
00:45:52
didn't overlap. Oh, dear God. I'm just
00:45:54
realizing now that would have been a
00:45:56
disaster. There is something extremely
00:45:59
fun. There's an energy about playing an
00:46:01
arena that's very like holy [ __ ] If
00:46:05
ever a person took this for granted,
00:46:08
they might become rather intolerable. Uh
00:46:12
that's what I think. And so I'm really
00:46:14
lucky to do it. I know it won't it will
00:46:17
it will just it it can't sustain. It
00:46:19
won't be this forever. So at the moment
00:46:21
I'm just kind of like enjoy it because
00:46:24
>> this is literally
00:46:26
>> you know like this won't this won't last
00:46:28
and that's okay. Um, so I wouldn't say
00:46:31
it's imposttor syndrome so much as I'm
00:46:33
acutely aware that this is just a moment
00:46:35
in time.
00:46:40
>> Well, did you think uh John right uh did
00:46:43
you think I'm doing David now? Uh so you
00:46:46
know you have those specials that
00:46:48
explode on Netflix and then you do the
00:46:50
five hosting and and then there's the
00:46:52
pandemic and then you have this rehab
00:46:54
issue. Did you ever think that that
00:46:56
would
00:46:57
>> I had didn't have an issue with rehab.
00:46:59
It was more drugs.
00:47:01
>> Oh. Oh, okay. So, the led to the rehab,
00:47:03
but
00:47:04
>> yeah, rehabs were quite healthy.
00:47:05
>> It feels to me like there was a your fan
00:47:08
base just saw you more human and it it
00:47:11
it there do you feel a bigger connection
00:47:14
in a way? Maybe it's like a Oprah
00:47:15
question or something, but with your
00:47:17
fans after
00:47:18
>> I'm really um
00:47:21
>> Yeah, I
00:47:22
>> because they're your friend, you know
00:47:24
what I they relate and everybody's got
00:47:26
>> I can't like there's no I'll just be
00:47:29
kind of sappy for a second. I
00:47:31
>> we love that here.
00:47:32
>> It means like I didn't know if I'd be on
00:47:36
a stage again. Like I didn't know what
00:47:40
um I was at a point where it wasn't just
00:47:42
that like today was miserable. It was
00:47:45
that I could absolutely guarantee you
00:47:48
tomorrow was miserable. So to be doing
00:47:51
shows and to
00:47:55
um
00:47:56
you know look I it's
00:48:01
uh I'm aware that uh someone's persona
00:48:07
and
00:48:08
you know I'm aware that it might have
00:48:11
thrown I'm aware that it was a new
00:48:14
information to people. I've been I've
00:48:16
been upfront that I'd used drugs in the
00:48:18
past, but I I understand it was new
00:48:21
information to people. I I'm I think I'm
00:48:23
humble enough to know that like,
00:48:26
you know, fans can s, you know, I'm very
00:48:30
grateful people come to the shows. Like,
00:48:33
>> yeah,
00:48:33
>> it's not that I think that that, you
00:48:35
know, revelation about me would make
00:48:38
people not come. I don't mean mean that.
00:48:40
I just mean that. I I also like I want
00:48:42
to be a realist about entertainment and
00:48:45
um to to maybe have one kind of image
00:48:48
and then have it be made clear I was
00:48:51
dealing with a lot more stuff
00:48:54
>> and then have people still come that uh
00:48:58
sort of I feel very lucky to physically
00:49:00
be there on stage and I feel it is so
00:49:04
nice. I feel
00:49:05
>> John if you don't mind talking about it
00:49:07
like when do when you said you made
00:49:09
maybe didn't think you'd ever do it
00:49:10
again was that your what what kind of
00:49:13
bottom was that? I mean did were you
00:49:16
seriously thinking I may never become do
00:49:18
standup anymore?
00:49:20
>> It was like
00:49:24
>> you don't have to answer this. It was
00:49:25
kind of it was it was almost like being
00:49:26
in it was like kind of like
00:49:30
>> um that's a good question exactly how to
00:49:34
articulate it was a bit like a horror
00:49:36
movie where I was like how did I
00:49:39
like um
00:49:43
I don't trust this sounds this sounds a
00:49:46
little dark but it is it's not a super
00:49:50
happy topic so that's fine. Um, I was
00:49:53
sort of like, I don't trust being alone
00:49:58
with me. I mean, I'm the person that did
00:50:00
all this damage to myself. You're with
00:50:02
when you're a drug addict, you're with
00:50:03
the person that has tried to destroy you
00:50:06
all the time. So, I just didn't have a
00:50:10
sense of
00:50:12
I was like,
00:50:15
uh, wow. I don't know if the person in
00:50:17
charge of this life
00:50:20
has any clue what they're doing. It
00:50:23
wasn't so much, oh, I can't do standup
00:50:25
without drugs. Cuz I wasn't I didn't use
00:50:27
and do standup. That wasn't really what
00:50:28
was happening. Um it was more like I
00:50:33
might have absolutely no idea how to
00:50:35
manage my life.
00:50:36
>> Yeah.
00:50:37
>> Because it was the second episode was
00:50:39
maybe harder in a way, the relapse.
00:50:41
>> Yeah. I'd had a lot of problems when I
00:50:43
was in my early 20s and I'd stopped by
00:50:46
um age 23
00:50:48
and had a long bout of sobriety but um
00:50:53
yeah through prescription drugs and
00:50:54
other things started to slip and then
00:50:57
slipped hard.
00:50:58
>> And do you think that you're you're it's
00:51:01
a genetic predisposition like the way
00:51:03
your brain is situated and the way the
00:51:05
drugs hit your brain? Can you specify
00:51:07
why it appealed to you at that level? Or
00:51:09
because it seems like addicts sometimes
00:51:11
have they can be hyper sensitive or
00:51:14
redundant thinkers or whatever kind of
00:51:16
mental health predis would predispose
00:51:19
them to want.
00:51:20
>> So yeah, it's a good question cuz like I
00:51:24
I do love life. Like I have a lot of
00:51:28
fun. I always I always have laughed very
00:51:31
hard multiple times a week with like
00:51:34
really funny friends and like
00:51:36
>> I I'm lucky to be in this life as a
00:51:39
comedian where
00:51:41
>> it's pretty fun. Uh I have my own I have
00:51:45
my own demons, but um it's pretty it's
00:51:48
pretty [ __ ] fun. I wouldn't trade it
00:51:50
for anything. So I was also like I I had
00:51:53
a very I have wonderful parents. I I I
00:51:57
had a lot of green lights. It's it's
00:51:59
hard to say um that I had some uh
00:52:03
inclination to
00:52:06
uh
00:52:08
to uh to mess up my life. I a couple
00:52:12
things in my case. I think I've had a
00:52:14
lot of anxiety in life. So, some of the
00:52:18
um chemicals that help that
00:52:22
I certainly are very addictive. And then
00:52:24
I think I I think um I mean I do think
00:52:29
addiction is a disease and I think I
00:52:31
have this, you know, oh, let's do more.
00:52:34
Oh, let's do more. I mean, there's
00:52:35
something in my brain that uh does that.
00:52:38
It wasn't always um
00:52:42
you know, it it wasn't uh
00:52:47
it wasn't a story of someone who uh was
00:52:51
always going to self-destruct. the life
00:52:53
just life just became hard
00:52:56
>> and and now you're out the other side
00:52:58
and you're have a have a a son, you
00:53:01
know, so it's such a
00:53:02
>> Yeah. So then so then Yeah.
00:53:04
>> Yeah. So So then that's like okay that's
00:53:07
real grownup stuff, right?
00:53:10
>> When I heard you had
00:53:11
>> It's the greatest.
00:53:12
>> It is.
00:53:12
>> When you're in rehab, I was like I don't
00:53:14
think so. That guy wears a suit on
00:53:17
stage.
00:53:17
>> Yeah. People in I mean it's been proven
00:53:19
people in ties don't have those. I mean,
00:53:22
it threw me.
00:53:24
And did did we have dinner at Koi one
00:53:26
night? Was it me, you, Dana, and hater?
00:53:28
Was it? And Jud.
00:53:29
>> And Jud. Yep. Mhm.
00:53:30
>> Yeah. That's like one of the few times
00:53:32
we've gotten to even That was a fun
00:53:33
night. We took a picture.
00:53:35
>> Yeah, we did take a picture. You guys
00:53:36
came and did my Largo show.
00:53:38
>> Yeah, it was great.
00:53:41
>> Uh
00:53:42
uh Dana, you and Bill read.
00:53:45
>> Yeah. Sketches.
00:53:47
>> Oh, that's right.
00:53:48
>> Yeah. A sketch that I wrote. um with
00:53:51
Bill
00:53:52
>> when Dana hosted
00:53:54
>> the same the same hosting stint when we
00:53:58
>> uh bombarded you with Mickey Rooney
00:54:01
request
00:54:02
>> but I I I was regrettable at the time
00:54:04
the only thing about Mickey Rooney was
00:54:06
the first time I had some prosthetics
00:54:09
that created the illusion
00:54:11
>> and and it helped me too doing Mickey
00:54:14
Rooney and then that time whatever quick
00:54:16
change for whatever reason it kind of
00:54:17
looked like me and it just didn't you
00:54:20
know and then Casey Kasem bombed but
00:54:22
>> did you have little
00:54:25
>> um the first time you did I did the
00:54:27
first time?
00:54:28
>> Yeah,
00:54:28
>> for some reason something it the look
00:54:30
wasn't the same and then Casey it wasn't
00:54:32
my best hosting effort but uh I love
00:54:36
>> I think I'm in large part I'm in large
00:54:37
part to blame for that if uh
00:54:41
>> wedding was bad that week. Now that I
00:54:44
remember that you remember that the
00:54:45
Mickey Rooney and Casey Kasem that we
00:54:48
begged you to do.
00:54:50
>> We're not at the moment. Uh
00:54:53
>> but I love the passion how much you guys
00:54:55
loved it and Casey Kasem killed a 300
00:54:58
seat theater. Bill and I read it again
00:55:00
in front of you. We explained it a
00:55:02
little better. It just it's sketch 101.
00:55:05
They just didn't hook it. It was over in
00:55:07
the corner and once the audience
00:55:08
>> too big of a set too. It too big of a
00:55:11
set. I
00:55:11
>> giant set. They didn't want
00:55:13
>> I always want I always want sketches
00:55:15
like that to just look like a Garfield
00:55:18
cartoon like I like a a single square
00:55:21
animation cell like you just
00:55:22
>> it was massive. Yeah.
00:55:23
>> And it was a massive backyard. The
00:55:26
sketch was Casey Kasem and his son JC
00:55:30
Kasem
00:55:32
>> JC
00:55:33
>> are having a fight and they both talk
00:55:35
like Casey Kasem and uh
00:55:40
>> you know it was like son I know you've
00:55:42
son I know you've been borrowing money
00:55:44
to buy crystal meth and how do you know
00:55:46
that dad here's a like it was it was
00:55:49
that it was just them both there was a
00:55:51
letter
00:55:51
>> son I know that you've been borrowing
00:55:53
money to buy crystal meth And here is a
00:55:56
letter.
00:55:56
>> It's that classic Casey case for people
00:55:59
who have ever heard of rhythm. And then
00:56:00
you know checking in at number five, the
00:56:03
boss.
00:56:04
>> My favorite line was, "Well, Dad, you
00:56:06
were alwaysounding me with questions.
00:56:08
When are you going to stop hanging out
00:56:09
with those dead beats? When are you
00:56:11
going to do something to get your life?"
00:56:13
And which female vocalist had more
00:56:14
number one hits than any other?
00:56:16
>> And then Dana says, "The answer, Mariah
00:56:19
Carey." Shimmer.
00:56:20
>> So why do you think for young people
00:56:22
listening,
00:56:23
>> why would that bomb? Well, I thought it
00:56:25
was because
00:56:25
>> too big of a set. We've already
00:56:26
explained it wasn't the right it wasn't
00:56:28
the performance.
00:56:29
>> I was washing my car, John.
00:56:31
>> It was a quiet They're kind of quiet
00:56:33
voices. They don't really project that
00:56:35
much. And I think if you're in the
00:56:36
audience and a camera's going by or
00:56:38
they're re leading a horse across the
00:56:39
studio, they don't hit hook at the first
00:56:42
>> leading a horse across, you know, just
00:56:43
noise distractions.
00:56:45
>> If it was cold opening in the center
00:56:47
with a simple
00:56:48
>> You weren't home base where you one of
00:56:50
those secret sets. D used to go never be
00:56:53
in the [ __ ] dead zone over there.
00:56:55
>> I would go I would go where they they
00:56:56
were writing up the planning where the
00:56:58
sketches would be.
00:57:00
>> You'd go tell her to put your
00:57:01
>> Why is my sketch not there? Yeah. Go
00:57:03
ahead.
00:57:04
>> Yeah. I remember watching I think it was
00:57:05
at Wayne's World. I was talking to Steve
00:57:07
Higgins and I was like it why is this I
00:57:10
mean besides the fact that it was so
00:57:12
popular I was like what is the why is
00:57:15
does this feel like they're just yelling
00:57:17
directly at an adoring audience? And he
00:57:19
was like, cuz those were at home base,
00:57:20
like everything everything
00:57:23
that seems like why is this like right
00:57:26
in the lens right down the barrel right
00:57:27
to the audience? So then all of us would
00:57:29
go up to Don Roy King during the
00:57:32
production meeting Wednesday night. All
00:57:34
the writers would go like, we think this
00:57:36
could play at home base.
00:57:37
>> We think it could play at home. I
00:57:39
remember one time he had cuz they write
00:57:41
in they basically they pencil in
00:57:43
everything that will go in one section
00:57:46
and there were like six sketches that
00:57:48
were trying to play at home base.
00:57:50
>> Well, they would say to me, "Well, you
00:57:51
can't have it at home base because you
00:57:53
have an entrance." And I go, "What if I
00:57:55
get rid of the entrance?" And they go,
00:57:56
"Well, then you can have it at home
00:57:57
base."
00:57:58
>> Oh, wow. What a scandal.
00:57:59
>> Then I go to Victoria Jackson and go,
00:58:01
"You got to just be in the set the whole
00:58:02
time." I was gonna I don't know how much
00:58:04
longer we have, but I was going to just
00:58:05
ask you your latest thoughts about your
00:58:08
son and how old is he because I I don't
00:58:10
follow.
00:58:11
>> Okay. Um my son Malcolm is 6 months old.
00:58:14
>> Okay. So, you're you and um your
00:58:17
significant Olivia are racing for that
00:58:19
first smile in the morning when he's in
00:58:21
his crib
00:58:22
>> and he racing for that first what did
00:58:24
you say?
00:58:24
>> First smile. The first smile. He's
00:58:26
smiling now, right? It's
00:58:27
>> the first smile. I thought you said the
00:58:29
first smile.
00:58:29
>> I'm a little bit drunk. No, but anyway.
00:58:31
No, we that's very funny you mentioned
00:58:33
that. We both love to wake him up
00:58:36
together and he he'll be kind of like
00:58:39
what I love about Malcolm one, he's my
00:58:42
son. That's so that's what I love about
00:58:44
>> That's good. It's good you love it.
00:58:45
That's good as your son.
00:58:46
>> No, but but also um he's so independent.
00:58:49
Like I listen to him on the on the Miku
00:58:52
on the baby monitor and he's just
00:58:55
babbling to himself like as he's trying
00:58:57
to fall asleep. He's just talking like
00:59:02
He kind of sounds like Jiminy Glick like
00:59:03
he's like
00:59:06
or Adam Sandler
00:59:08
like Adam
00:59:10
>> Yeah, there's a lot of low register LIKE
00:59:16
>> he's doing characters.
00:59:18
>> He's doing character work. And also, I
00:59:20
think he enjoys the reverberation of his
00:59:22
voice in this uh
00:59:25
>> when he he was sleeping in this pack and
00:59:26
play the other night and
00:59:27
>> I was like, you really just
00:59:29
>> pack and play.
00:59:30
>> You love your you love the sound um that
00:59:33
it's making in in your little crib
00:59:34
there. So, we love to come in and he's
00:59:36
just I don't know. He's so independent.
00:59:38
He's just chatting with his like stuffed
00:59:41
elephant in the crib with him. Well,
00:59:43
that moment where they wake up and
00:59:45
they're
00:59:46
>> then we then So, right now when we're
00:59:48
traveling Yeah. And he sees
00:59:50
>> we have a pack and play. So, we unzip
00:59:52
top of it this cover and he he's sitting
00:59:54
on there and goes like flashes big face
00:59:57
goes
00:59:57
>> and that pack and play is like a duffel
01:00:00
bag you carry him in or something.
01:00:01
>> Well, it does kind of fold up into what
01:00:05
looks like those bags they carry machine
01:00:07
guns in.
01:00:08
>> Yeah. It's like a It's a long black bag
01:00:12
that becomes a crib
01:00:13
>> because at the beginning it's just a
01:00:15
shoe box you have to carry them in and
01:00:16
then as they get older. I don't know how
01:00:17
it works.
01:00:18
>> Yeah. When a baby's born they tell you
01:00:19
to put it in a shoe box with shredded
01:00:21
newspapers
01:00:22
>> and you got to keep them stimulated.
01:00:24
There's a lot of focus on kids. It even
01:00:26
started when I was
01:00:27
>> Oh, more now. My god. You must be
01:00:29
getting a while and keep them mentally
01:00:30
stimulated. You'll make a genius. You
01:00:32
feed them this way. It's like
01:00:34
>> Yeah. God damn. A lot of everyone's got
01:00:35
an opinion.
01:00:36
>> Yeah. He um uh he likes songs by he
01:00:42
likes songs that the Wrecking Crew
01:00:44
worked on
01:00:45
>> the the famous studio musicians.
01:00:47
>> He kind of likes like um there's
01:00:49
something about that.
01:00:51
>> Yeah. The Righteous Brothers and those
01:00:52
Phil Spector Wall of Sound. I think
01:00:55
there's something sonically to a baby,
01:00:57
you know? Like I've always said, babies
01:00:58
love Phil Spectre.
01:00:59
>> Well, the baby when he's three, if he
01:01:01
picks up a rock, people will go, he's
01:01:02
going to be an archaeologist. I mean,
01:01:04
everyone's gonna want to project. I
01:01:07
think he's funny like you. You know,
01:01:09
I've seen it. Anyway,
01:01:10
>> there's nothing like Instagram when they
01:01:13
say in Instagram they're always there's
01:01:15
always someone in trouble for doing
01:01:16
something wrong with their kids and then
01:01:18
everyone writes in a million comments.
01:01:20
You should not do that. It's like no one
01:01:22
Why do you give a [ __ ] about my kid?
01:01:23
Like, oh yeah, are you going to come
01:01:25
babysit?
01:01:25
>> I've always wanted to put as a caption,
01:01:27
if anyone has any parenting thoughts,
01:01:30
please please leave them in the
01:01:32
comments. Yeah, please.
01:01:34
>> I'm about to give my I'm about to give
01:01:36
my six-month-old uh a bunch of pork
01:01:38
sausage and dairy. If anyone has any
01:01:41
thoughts,
01:01:43
>> what's a good toaster I should put in
01:01:45
the tub with him?
01:01:47
>> Yeah. Uh but John, I would say we have
01:01:50
to let you go, but first of all, great
01:01:52
chatting. I saw you at Largo. I saw
01:01:54
Olivia uh the other night. It was a lot
01:01:56
of fun to see you.
01:01:57
>> You were hilarious. It was great to see
01:01:58
you. You were David. We were talking for
01:02:00
a while that just just you backstage
01:02:03
talking about trying to sell your house
01:02:05
was the funniest 5 minutes.
01:02:08
>> Thank you.
01:02:08
>> I've heard in so long.
01:02:10
>> You know, it's funny. My special just
01:02:11
came out. I was You guys were talking
01:02:13
about specials and it came out on it
01:02:15
came out on the dirt.com, right? On the
01:02:17
real estate website.
01:02:18
>> That's where my special came out, which
01:02:20
was so stupid.
01:02:21
>> It was released on dirt.com,
01:02:23
>> but everyone knows about your house.
01:02:27
>> Special, David. Let's do some
01:02:28
housekeeping.
01:02:28
>> Oh, it's called Nothing Personal
01:02:30
Personal. I wanted to say to to John
01:02:34
that and Danny, you might feel this when
01:02:36
you get to bigger. I don't tour as much.
01:02:39
>> I actually this first time I was sort of
01:02:41
doing some theaters and they're not as
01:02:42
big as yours, but even if it's 2 3,000
01:02:45
seats, I sometimes feel like I'm not
01:02:47
enough. It's almost like more pressure
01:02:49
to go. I can picture a band here like
01:02:51
whailing away to fill this big energy.
01:02:54
So much more energy than a club. and
01:02:56
people are paying more and and it's a
01:02:58
big deal. There's a line outside and you
01:02:59
go, I'm just here talking a little bit.
01:03:01
It feels like it's not enough for them.
01:03:03
And I had a weird thing about that where
01:03:05
I go, I want to be extra good or do a
01:03:08
little something more razledazzle. I
01:03:11
don't know. Yeah. I mean, that's why I
01:03:13
really like uh I mean, I remember
01:03:16
hearing I remember hearing an interview
01:03:19
with Chris Rock when Bring the Pain came
01:03:22
out about how why he paces so much.
01:03:24
She's like, I got to fill the stage. And
01:03:26
I've I've never forgotten that. I mean,
01:03:28
I like I like a lot of mic cord and a
01:03:31
lot of walking.
01:03:32
>> Yeah.
01:03:32
>> Yeah.
01:03:33
>> And I I've never saw I always think
01:03:36
that. I'm like, this is just me.
01:03:38
>> This is like a random person talking
01:03:40
about,
01:03:42
>> right,
01:03:42
>> very specific topics. What is this?
01:03:46
>> Quietly listening. Yeah.
01:03:47
>> Yeah. Maybe I'll just
01:03:49
>> I and mine they they I they I got off
01:03:50
stage talk about having a tough set like
01:03:52
my first taping you know mo most comics
01:03:55
for your listeners pick a place and they
01:03:58
do two shows in one night mostly. Yeah,
01:04:01
>> Adam Adam got to do a little more, but
01:04:03
uh you know, you do that, then you pick
01:04:05
the best out of the two, whatever. And I
01:04:08
got off stage, my opener wasn't doing as
01:04:10
well as he usually does. And I'm like,
01:04:11
oh, please don't be a [ __ ] tough
01:04:13
crowd,
01:04:14
>> you know? And then I get on it and and
01:04:16
they were tough for the first five. And
01:04:18
I'm like, these people are coming to see
01:04:20
me and they're my fans and this is
01:04:22
tough. And I get off and I go, [ __ ]
01:04:25
well, the second one will be a little
01:04:26
better. And they go, you know, they have
01:04:27
N95s on. I go, no they don't. And no one
01:04:30
told me they had those masks on that
01:04:32
weren't
01:04:33
>> didn't know they were all all in the
01:04:35
N95s.
01:04:36
>> I didn't even think because we moved it
01:04:39
there because it was during CO and they
01:04:40
go you do get a crowd they might have to
01:04:42
wear mask but I think of the blue ones
01:04:45
but I heard they walked in everyone had
01:04:46
to take theirs off and they were given
01:04:48
the worst kind of like drywall mask.
01:04:51
>> What state was this in?
01:04:53
>> It was in it was Minnesota and I have to
01:04:55
say they were a good crowd. It just when
01:04:58
50% of it's gone and you can't hear it
01:05:01
as because they're they even look like a
01:05:03
good crowd. They're moving. They're
01:05:04
bending, overlapping, overlapping. And
01:05:05
I'm like, and you know, I just see the
01:05:07
front rows, but I go, "Oh, what's going
01:05:08
on?" Cuz it's so bright. When I taped,
01:05:11
>> I couldn't really see what I can waited
01:05:14
six weeks to do it when they didn't have
01:05:16
to have the mask.
01:05:16
>> Well, it wasn't to to bore the [ __ ] out
01:05:18
of you. It was in Austin
01:05:20
>> and because Netflix there's some rules
01:05:22
you have to
01:05:23
>> for COVID blah blah. and Austin said,
01:05:25
"No, we won't abide by it." So, I had
01:05:27
either wait 6 months or the next weekend
01:05:30
I was doing.
01:05:31
>> Well, when you guys go out now, they're
01:05:32
not wearing masks or right.
01:05:34
>> No, there's still there's still a
01:05:36
couple. But,
01:05:37
>> I think it's I think it's dealer's
01:05:38
choice. I think you
01:05:40
>> Yeah, cuz I see people with them, but
01:05:41
those are for a while there was show
01:05:44
your vax card
01:05:46
>> or um if you don't have it, you get
01:05:51
sorry, if you showed your vax card, you
01:05:52
got a wristband. If you didn't have a
01:05:54
wristband, you had to have the mask on.
01:05:56
There's been, but crowds have been
01:05:57
really understanding about it, which is
01:05:59
nice.
01:05:59
>> At least they're still coming, which is
01:06:00
nice. And that that's that's
01:06:02
>> whenever there's a surge, too. Whenever
01:06:05
there's a surge on tour, it's sort of
01:06:07
like, okay, you know, some stuff might
01:06:08
get cancelled and like what's whatever
01:06:10
is best for the health and safety of the
01:06:12
crowd is the best choice. But I'll
01:06:14
sometimes look at the map and my
01:06:16
calendar and be like, well, I got
01:06:17
luckily luckily like my Florida and
01:06:20
Arizona won't be cancelled.
01:06:22
>> Yeah.
01:06:23
states where you're like they're
01:06:24
>> they're never going to cancel.
01:06:26
>> They're never going to cancel. Yeah.
01:06:27
>> Well, they say some people for a while
01:06:30
there during uh when there's a last
01:06:31
surge, they go just expect about 20 to
01:06:34
30% don't show. They buy the tickets,
01:06:36
it's sold out, but they don't come and
01:06:38
you go, "Oh, cuz they get scared." So,
01:06:40
it's sort of a bummer because you want
01:06:42
the people whoever gets ticket to come.
01:06:44
Sometimes it's tricky. You know,
01:06:46
>> I found that um like people in Los
01:06:50
Angeles have been more careful than
01:06:51
anyone else I I know. Like I I was in
01:06:54
New York for a lot of the early
01:06:56
pandemic.
01:06:57
>> People were obviously extremely
01:06:59
sheltering in place then. However, there
01:07:01
still was a bit more of a a sometimes a
01:07:04
bit of a cavalier attitude like look, we
01:07:06
we're going to go out, we're going to
01:07:08
try to do this. LA seemed more locked
01:07:11
down for longer. But
01:07:12
>> yeah,
01:07:12
>> then this Netflix is a joke festival
01:07:14
came and like everyone I knew who used
01:07:17
to lecture
01:07:18
>> about like spray down your groceries
01:07:20
with, you know, like all those people
01:07:23
are suddenly
01:07:25
>> like at a huge brunch with Kevin Hart,
01:07:27
you know, everyone everyone went out.
01:07:31
Everyone went out.
01:07:33
>> Yeah.
01:07:38
>> Well, John, uh, thank you. And you know,
01:07:41
I always thought you'd make a good D.
01:07:42
Wouldn't he make a good talk show host?
01:07:44
Great monologue.
01:07:45
>> If he ever wants to articulate a good
01:07:47
gig going, I mean, as as Malcolm gets
01:07:50
older, you you'll be financially so
01:07:52
secure, you'll be able to pick your
01:07:53
dates and and and pick how you want to
01:07:56
work. You know, I go now. It's you're he
01:07:59
won't miss you now, but you're going to
01:08:01
want to be around when he's, you know,
01:08:03
seven and 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. Those are
01:08:05
the those
01:08:07
my friend Dan Levy and I um a wonderful
01:08:10
comedian and a good friend of mine Dan
01:08:12
Levy and I talk often Dana about how uh
01:08:17
you know how you specifically
01:08:20
uh we were like that might be the best
01:08:22
life ever to um name a corporate rate
01:08:25
that is so high but have so many people
01:08:29
meet it and you can edit this out if
01:08:31
you're uncomfortable. Sorry.
01:08:31
>> No, not at all. when you just kept doing
01:08:34
I was like man what an amazing we talked
01:08:38
so greedily about like man
01:08:41
>> to hear describe all those corporates
01:08:43
>> I truly wanted to get out I wanted to
01:08:46
get out of them they kept saying yes I
01:08:48
kept going up and up and up and hoping
01:08:49
I'd get out of them but it was very
01:08:52
>> I know it's the it's the greatest
01:08:53
problem I've ever heard anyone having
01:08:56
>> and were so envious of it
01:08:58
>> well it's a nice adaptive way when the
01:09:01
kids are in you were You were off SNL.
01:09:03
You were living in Northern California
01:09:06
>> and you were naming the highest rates
01:09:08
possible.
01:09:09
>> Yes, it was a it was it was very very
01:09:11
good. I I was get I was hiding in plain
01:09:14
sight, making more money than maybe
01:09:16
almost anyone but like big movie stars,
01:09:18
but no one knew, so they just figured I
01:09:20
was broke. So that was good. But it's
01:09:22
it's a pretty good schedule for a dad
01:09:25
because you could take two months at
01:09:26
Christmas, take summers off and have
01:09:28
your just adapt your schedule to when
01:09:31
you want to be with them. So anyway,
01:09:34
>> it is great.
01:09:34
>> Are you guys on the Are you guys going
01:09:36
out on Are you guys on the road now,
01:09:38
too?
01:09:38
>> David is. I'm I'm doing a scripted
01:09:41
podcast finishing up, which is hard.
01:09:43
It's like making the White Album. It
01:09:44
really has taken a year to do it with my
01:09:47
two sons.
01:09:48
>> Oh, right. Right. Yeah, I've heard on
01:09:50
this I've heard on this podcast.
01:09:52
>> Yeah. So, I'm working on that, but I'm
01:09:53
kind of itching to do stand up again. I
01:09:55
don't know what I would say or what I
01:09:57
would do though at this age, you know,
01:09:59
cuz it's like you don't want to be
01:10:01
boring. That's that's the worst sin of a
01:10:03
stand up. I think
01:10:04
>> it's hard.
01:10:04
>> Boring.
01:10:05
>> You don't want to be cancelceled, but
01:10:06
you don't want to be
01:10:06
>> You don't want to be cancelled. You want
01:10:07
to be honest. You want to be real. You
01:10:09
want to be funny. But for me, doing
01:10:11
small clubs with my sons, I I figured
01:10:13
out for me personally, being a sketch
01:10:15
player at heart, it I was so much better
01:10:18
in small rooms. I mean, because I'm
01:10:21
doing these little intricate little
01:10:22
characters and stuff. So, I love small
01:10:24
rooms, but big rooms play different. You
01:10:27
know, if they have screens, it's very
01:10:28
nice. I'm sure Madison Square Garden,
01:10:30
you're going to have big screens
01:10:32
>> of Yeah.
01:10:33
>> There's there's sort of these like
01:10:34
portrait length screens. They really do.
01:10:37
I was very when this tour started, I was
01:10:40
like, "Okay, this is gonna be cool, but
01:10:43
is this gonna just be like yelling in a
01:10:45
hockey arena?" And everyone's like,
01:10:46
"What?" But um
01:10:47
>> I got to see the faces and stuff.
01:10:49
>> Yeah. The production the production and
01:10:51
my tour manager, Beth, um like it's been
01:10:55
it's been made into a really good show,
01:10:56
I think.
01:10:57
>> Yeah. He's like, I have Kid Rock's
01:10:59
trucker guy that runs the 18-wheeler
01:11:01
with all my stuff.
01:11:01
>> My favorite thing about touring arenas
01:11:03
is that is like talking to bus drivers.
01:11:08
Uh,
01:11:09
>> who they just had here?
01:11:10
>> Yeah. Who were you just with like, well,
01:11:12
Rob, Robert Plant, Robert Plant, Steve
01:11:15
Harvey, then you. And I'm like, I love
01:11:17
it. I love that. Have you ever gotten
01:11:20
right before you went on dinged like
01:11:22
that from some well-meaning crew guy?
01:11:24
Last week, Sinbad came in here. I got to
01:11:26
tell you, he took every local reference.
01:11:29
He destroyed now Dana Fluro. I mean, do
01:11:31
you ever get dinged like that where it's
01:11:33
like Chris Rock levitated this arena?
01:11:35
>> I don't think I don't think he was
01:11:36
trying to ding me, but I still
01:11:38
>> No, not intentional.
01:11:39
>> No, no, but uh No, Brian Dorfman, a
01:11:42
Booker um a promoter. Excuse me, Brian.
01:11:45
I apologize. You're a producer and a
01:11:48
promoter and whatever other things you
01:11:49
do. But I was in I was backstage at
01:11:51
Nashville Zies
01:11:54
and uh
01:11:56
we're standing there and I'm really
01:11:59
about to walk out and he just goes I
01:12:02
remember
01:12:03
promoting Paulie Shore
01:12:06
and when the door opened and the shadow
01:12:10
of his profile hit the stage. I've never
01:12:13
heard a crowd go crazier for it's like
01:12:15
as I'm about to walk out. Never heard a
01:12:17
crowd go crazier for someone. And it was
01:12:20
the greatest standup show I'd ever seen.
01:12:22
>> I know. They go on and on, don't they?
01:12:24
>> It was.
01:12:25
>> No one has ever done anything like this.
01:12:27
But you'll do fine. You Yeah.
01:12:29
>> Then he pauses and go, "Hey, got any new
01:12:30
stuff?"
01:12:31
>> I remember um someone else uh at Zy's
01:12:35
Nashville.
01:12:37
I was like
01:12:39
at that same weekend, I was like, "Who
01:12:42
are your favorite comics?" Um and uh
01:12:46
this woman Ruth Anne who uh was managing
01:12:50
the club. Um I go, "Who are your
01:12:53
favorite comics?" You know, and like a
01:12:54
lot of people, this was like 2004,
01:12:57
2000, you know, people would go like,
01:12:58
"Oh, Adele Hedber," you know, people
01:12:59
just list the same names.
01:13:01
>> And she goes, "Okay,
01:13:04
here we go."
01:13:06
>> I was like, "Uhhuh." Uh
01:13:08
>> oh. And I and I can't remember exactly
01:13:10
the three, but the first was Tony Rock.
01:13:13
>> She goes, "Tony Rock." I go, "Okay."
01:13:15
>> She goes, "Funnier than Chris." I go,
01:13:17
>> "Okay,
01:13:18
>> okay.
01:13:18
>> Okay.
01:13:19
>> Uhhuh." Um, she goes, "Funnier than
01:13:22
Chris."
01:13:23
>> Uh,
01:13:25
Chick McGee, I think, maybe it was a But
01:13:28
the last one was Killer Bees, who's a
01:13:31
>> Killer Bees. Wow. Killer Bees is a road
01:13:33
is a is a
01:13:35
>> is an American comedian not known to
01:13:36
everyone, but she goes, "Killer Bees is
01:13:38
the best comic
01:13:39
>> I've ever funnier than Chris.
01:13:41
>> You know, you need new material. You
01:13:42
know, you need new material when they
01:13:44
someone says to you, no matter how many
01:13:46
times I hear your stuff, I I still
01:13:49
laugh. You know, you know, you need a
01:13:50
new
01:13:51
>> Yeah. Yeah. I uh I the the the sound
01:13:55
guys, the the lighting uh technicians,
01:13:57
everyone I'm on this tour with is
01:13:59
amazing and they are very sweet about
01:14:02
it, but they're like, "We as we're
01:14:04
setting up, we just recite your jokes."
01:14:06
And I was like, "Man, that's such a
01:14:09
compliment, but it makes me feel like,
01:14:11
so you're saying I don't have enough new
01:14:13
stuff."
01:14:13
>> Yeah.
01:14:15
>> All right, John, get out of here. I like
01:14:18
that. I like that you guys are acting
01:14:19
like I have somewhere to be, but I
01:14:21
don't.
01:14:22
>> I keep
01:14:23
>> I keep making the interview longer.
01:14:27
>> I
01:14:27
>> know. But it is fun because people like
01:14:29
to hear from you.
01:14:30
>> Oh, one little SNL memory I have of just
01:14:32
how big and inescapable the show felt
01:14:35
was I was hired August 7th, 2008.
01:14:39
And then we have the commercial writing
01:14:42
weeks. Um, we start we start
01:14:45
pre-production for the show. Not
01:14:47
pre-production, we start uh everyone's
01:14:50
kind of back and we're going to shoot
01:14:52
commercial parodies. Um, then we have
01:14:54
the first show week and the first show
01:14:57
that I was ever a part of, Michael
01:14:59
Phelps hosted and it was the first time
01:15:01
Tina Fay did Sarah Palin.
01:15:03
>> So, all right.
01:15:04
>> Whoa. that fall.
01:15:06
>> SNL is like
01:15:09
back kind of like to being when you guys
01:15:13
were on like it felt like
01:15:15
>> felt like the 92 election again. Um
01:15:18
>> it was like
01:15:19
>> huge and it was on every magazine cover
01:15:21
and Seth and Amy are on every magazine
01:15:24
cover and Tina's on every magazine
01:15:25
cover.
01:15:26
>> It was so big and we did these Thursday
01:15:28
prime time update shows. So, we did 12
01:15:32
we total we did 12 shows in eight weeks
01:15:36
and I just remember I was sitting in a
01:15:38
taxi cab going home and my eye was all
01:15:41
infected from from being awake so long
01:15:44
and uh a bus pulls up next to me and
01:15:48
it's a gap ad with Forte Sudakus
01:15:53
>> Andy Seth and Fred. Yeah. like they did
01:15:56
like a winter clothes like scarves and
01:15:58
hats, but I just remember being like I
01:16:00
can't [ __ ] escape this show and still
01:16:03
haven't.
01:16:04
>> You never It's a seminal moment in your
01:16:07
life being in Rockefeller Center doing
01:16:09
that thing with all the characters.
01:16:10
>> Well, yeah. It's like saying, "Hey, I
01:16:12
used to play for the Yankees. Um, now I
01:16:16
have a sports marketing company. Which
01:16:18
would you rather talk about?"
01:16:22
>> Yeah, that's true. There's nothing
01:16:24
experientially or tactically like that
01:16:26
show. It's tactical.
01:16:27
>> People always have a question about it.
01:16:29
Something about it.
01:16:29
>> That's why we're doing the podcast and
01:16:31
to hang out with people like
01:16:33
>> Yeah, you.
01:16:34
>> I love the podcast. I've listened to
01:16:35
every episode. I was very flattered to
01:16:37
be asking.
01:16:38
>> You must have a lot of free time or
01:16:39
that's when you're on the bus or the
01:16:41
plane or you know
01:16:42
>> lot of driving and uh a lot of driving.
01:16:44
Lot of bus. Yeah.
01:16:46
>> He's used to that we talk over each
01:16:48
other. Dana
01:16:48
>> John. Yeah. You Well, we have Well,
01:16:50
yeah. Smartless has three guys. Did you
01:16:53
like doing the live one with Sandler?
01:16:55
>> Yeah.
01:16:56
>> Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was um it
01:16:58
>> I should have filmed it. It's [ __ ]
01:16:59
great. It was so fun.
01:17:01
>> Different sport, but uh
01:17:03
>> different sport, but it's a I'm Whenever
01:17:05
there's a live episode of a podcast I
01:17:08
love, I'm like, this is like
01:17:10
>> no one's uh
01:17:11
>> everyone's bringing out the big guns on
01:17:13
this.
01:17:14
>> Oh, yeah.
01:17:14
>> Well, yeah. you just you tend to perform
01:17:16
a little more. But yeah, I just I if I
01:17:19
put myself in the shoes of the I'm there
01:17:20
with Adam Sandler and David Spade, so
01:17:23
there's a sense of like I'd like to just
01:17:26
hear what Adam Sandler had for
01:17:28
breakfast, you know? Uh they want to
01:17:30
they want to know he's a person. The one
01:17:31
thing we haven't done with you, we don't
01:17:33
have to because I always like to put
01:17:35
think of 10-year-old John Melany because
01:17:38
I like that favorite toy as a kid or a
01:17:42
toy that you remember that you really
01:17:43
was important to you or you liked.
01:17:46
>> Oh, that's a good question. Um,
01:17:50
>> cocaine.
01:17:52
>> Uh, yeah, but little bags of cocaine and
01:17:54
rolled up dollar bills.
01:17:55
>> David had Stretch Armstrong, didn't you
01:17:57
think?
01:17:58
and evil. Can you sh Armstrong was a
01:18:00
[ __ ] scam.
01:18:02
>> I liked anything I liked anything um
01:18:05
with Ernie. I kind of with Ernie from
01:18:07
Burton Ernie. I sort of realized later
01:18:10
in life that Ernie was like
01:18:13
>> I thought Ernie was so funny. Ernie is
01:18:15
really funny. He doesn't give a [ __ ] and
01:18:17
his roommate's uptight.
01:18:18
>> Yeah. Which one's gay? Bird or Oh, I
01:18:21
think Bird is.
01:18:22
>> The rumor was that they were both gay.
01:18:24
>> Oh, I guess that's how it would work.
01:18:26
>> Okay. Did you have a bike that was
01:18:28
special to you like in fourth, fifth,
01:18:30
sixth grade?
01:18:31
>> I had a bike which growing up in Chicago
01:18:34
like it's an easy city to bike around
01:18:35
and that that was like
01:18:36
>> Mhm.
01:18:38
>> we already had a lot of freedom like we
01:18:40
were a little feral.
01:18:42
>> Um I just walked around the city of
01:18:43
Chicago as a like 10 nyear-old. Like we
01:18:47
really could just go. I remember having
01:18:48
a bike and riding it along um the lake
01:18:52
from my home to like the middle of
01:18:55
downtown Chicago and I was like this is
01:18:58
so much freedom. It's crazy.
01:19:00
>> It won't be like that with your kid.
01:19:02
Huh.
01:19:03
>> No, I mean that's an interesting it's an
01:19:07
interesting thing cuz Olivia
01:19:10
we want it to be but then we obviously
01:19:12
I'm like do I have the stomach for just
01:19:15
being like all right see you. Do you
01:19:17
have the Instagram followers? Can you
01:19:19
handle what they're going to say about
01:19:20
that?
01:19:21
>> Yeah. Hey, leaving Malcolm alone on
01:19:24
Michigan Avenue.
01:19:25
>> Yeah, he'll be home by when it gets dark
01:19:28
like I did. Is this a good idea? Arrow
01:19:31
to comments
01:19:32
>> and you and Sound off below.
01:19:35
>> Sound off. Let me know.
01:19:36
>> Do you have ideas of where you would
01:19:37
like to settle with the time school
01:19:39
years start or is it just completely
01:19:41
wide open? You don't have to mention a
01:19:43
town or anything, but do you think uh
01:19:45
it's either Southern California, New
01:19:47
York, or out there somewhere?
01:19:49
>> Yeah, we're very open to
01:19:52
uh to different places, you know? I
01:19:54
mean, I feel like also the me and Olivia
01:19:57
and Malcolm have been on the road so
01:19:59
much that we kind of, you know, we're in
01:20:01
this place of like home is wherever
01:20:03
we're together, you know? So,
01:20:04
>> yeah. Yeah. That they're just so
01:20:05
portable now. And you had told me once
01:20:07
that you thought a flying too much might
01:20:11
age people. So do you take more buses
01:20:13
and cars than I said people?
01:20:16
>> I thought you said that to me always.
01:20:18
>> You thought flying too much was
01:20:20
>> sounds a little uh speedy coke dark.
01:20:25
>> Oh some go go go juice.
01:20:28
>> Flying.
01:20:29
>> We were jamming. We were jamming on the
01:20:31
Mickey Rooney sketch when you said that.
01:20:32
So I didn't know you were No, but I
01:20:35
thought you said that. But
01:20:36
>> you know, I do think that No, there's
01:20:38
something like you know how you feel
01:20:39
when you get off a plane and your feet
01:20:40
are all swollen and like your stomach's
01:20:42
weird. I was like this is not
01:20:45
>> you shouldn't do this constantly
01:20:48
>> like like bring a bring a um you know
01:20:50
you bring like a half empty 20 oz bottle
01:20:54
of soda on a plane, put it in your
01:20:56
backpack and then see what the
01:20:57
pressure's done to it.
01:20:59
>> Yeah.
01:21:00
>> It's not it's not normal what what what
01:21:02
it does to your body. Hey, I get done
01:21:03
with
01:21:03
>> I'm at that phase of celebrity now where
01:21:05
I weigh in on health theories. So, I'm
01:21:08
going to go out ahead and say that
01:21:09
planes
01:21:10
>> no one should be flying. John Mel this
01:21:12
we we got our trans week drug addict
01:21:15
John Melany said no drug addict John
01:21:18
>> flying is dangerous and not because
01:21:20
you're going to crash but your body
01:21:23
>> Neil Brennan said when I got first got
01:21:25
back to doing standup he said you should
01:21:27
be introduced Neil Brennan said this he
01:21:29
goes you should be introduced as you
01:21:30
know him from TMZ please welcome drug
01:21:33
addict John
01:21:34
>> Mane drug addict is funny
01:21:39
let's end on that one that's funny
01:21:41
>> all right Guys, John, hope we run into
01:21:43
you at some point. Miss you, John.
01:21:45
>> Pleasure. Love you.
01:21:46
>> See you somewhere. Bye, guys. See you on
01:21:48
campus.
01:21:53
>> Hey guys, if you're loving this podcast,
01:21:55
which you are, be sure to click follow
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on your favorite podcast app. Give us a
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review, fivestar rating, and maybe even
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share an episode that you've loved with
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a friend.
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>> If you're watching this episode on
01:22:06
YouTube, please subscribe. We're on
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video now. Fly on the Wall is presented
01:22:10
by Odyssey, an executive produced by
01:22:12
Dana Carvey and David Spade, Heather
01:22:14
Santoro and Greg Holtzman, Mattie Sprung
01:22:17
Kaiser, and Leah Reese Dennis of
01:22:19
Odyssey. Our senior producer is Greg
01:22:21
Holtzman, and the show is produced and
01:22:23
edited by Phil Sweet Tech. Booking by
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Cultivated Entertainment. Special thanks
01:22:29
to Patrick Fogerty, Evan Cox, Mora
01:22:33
Curran, Melissa Wester, Hillary Schuff,
01:22:37
Eric Donnelly, Colin Gainner, Sean
01:22:40
Cherry, Kurt Courtourtney, and Lauren
01:22:42
Vieiraa. Reach out with us any questions
01:22:45
to be asked and answered on the show.
01:22:47
You can email us at fly
01:22:48
onthewallsey.com.
01:22:51
That's audacy.com.
