00:00:01
oh I was saying that uh when Rob and I were there for the four shows I think what we don't realize even though we
00:00:08
didn't get a sketch on in quotes but being at the rewrite table being around the office you can just tell if you're
00:00:14
in the game that long like they were yeah just by saying we're pitching throwaway jokes in sketches on rewrites
00:00:20
I think just hearing someone talk at lunch or dinner or hearing pitches by the end you can go they've got game or
00:00:26
not like they can tell like just from what I heard the little bits were on the right track with these guys because I'm
00:00:31
sure they went to Downey Lauren said what do you think do you want these two clowns back and then uh you know smile
00:00:37
I'll tell you something that's important as well and that and especially Lauren like he wants to hire people he can go
00:00:44
to dinner with yeah he wants to hire people that really have a high social IQ in the room and you two qualify for that
00:00:51
as far as integrating in with everybody you guys had a lot of charm and you wouldn't over talk you'd insert you know
00:00:58
so that part of the reason you're there besides your great comedy chops was just social skills and Lauren really picks up
00:01:04
on that you know you you get along well and I just want to say I'm going to tear
00:01:09
up but Rob who wrote ill Cantore because that okay well that was my favorite moments I ever did on the show and I
00:01:16
didn't I will tell you that was influenced by an experience that Adam and I had well we first of all I went
00:01:21
over to I mean it's a weird thing about like money how I equate success you know is something like my parents when they
00:01:28
spent money on the couch they bought a new couch and they immediately covered it in this quality High thick
00:01:35
polyurethane plastic and it wouldn't let when they still wouldn't let us sit on it because it was a really nice so that
00:01:41
makes sense yeah so that was like you know we have money for a couch now don't don't [ __ ] it up this is our Kettle
00:01:47
spills you never sit on it don't even look at it use it for guests and the guests come over to their special guests
00:01:52
will unzip the plastic so I've always so that's the way I equate like you know you know Fame and success as a couch so
00:01:58
I wonder what Adam says how do you connect them
00:02:03
unzipped brand new couch at at Adams I said he must be making money this is a new couch it was like a little couch so
00:02:09
and then so we started you know by the second season we're making a little bit of money so then we take we had girlfriends too which is another sign of
00:02:16
success one of the reasons well let's be honest we really got into wanted to get into show business because I like you
00:02:21
know when I played trombone and the marching band and in high High School I said this is not not going to get me a
00:02:28
supermodel this is not gonna anywhere close I said what is it going to do what can I do better than so and so we will
00:02:33
stand for a second look for the Lonely Hearts Club that I was part of once you are forced to act confident stand on a
00:02:41
platform yeah and dominate a room even if you're just pretending your stock goes up with with young girls so it is
00:02:49
it is uh Xanadu it is like a certain comedian he's like Norm Macdonald like you know yeah you got about 45 minutes
00:02:55
to close the deal when you're done because you know the women the power it depreciates after you're on stage I said
00:03:01
Jesus this guy's like a scientist about getting laid after getting oh the power move is at the other Cafe where there
00:03:08
this girl that you couldn't even talk to in high school is flirting with you and then they're announcing your name I
00:03:15
gotta go yeah so anyways I'm at Adam Sandler's place
00:03:20
he's got a new couch and they go this is what we have money we've changed and then we have girls friends good looking girlfriends and all of a sudden so we go
00:03:27
uh so we go to a place that we wouldn't have gone the first season because I remember like he lived he he had um his
00:03:33
dad knew somebody who had like uh so he had like a couple of months for the first time first season at SNL just in
00:03:39
case it's not you know wasn't work out above this restaurant on Madison Avenue and it was a little little apartment
00:03:45
that he got for like the you know for a few months and I remember the place was so expensive downstairs it was like a
00:03:53
the turkey sandwich was 17 and he said what the [ __ ] I said we'll split a turkey I said you and I will split a
00:03:58
turkey sandwich yeah and then we'll just complete downstairs and it's one of those fancy places so you kind of it's cool to hang out there so by the time we
00:04:04
started making a little bit of money yeah uh the second season we take the girlfriends we go to Little Italy let's
00:04:09
show off a little bit and there's Italian guys we're kissing the girls
00:04:30
and we go like well you know we're happy to be here but it was a little odd but yeah but that sunk in something really
00:04:36
to Adam's psyche about that and um I remember he went off
00:04:42
um and I had a great office on the 17th floor that actually you could see the Empire State Building it's like that's
00:04:48
ridiculous this is like this is incredible it's all incredible it's amazing so and then and just being on
00:04:54
the 17th floor and go like who did Aykroyd have this office I was always you know the history of the show and
00:04:59
then um so Adam came in with Robert Smigel and they can't they can't talk and
00:05:06
they're literally like it's two o'clock 2 30 in the morning smile that's when the the the the
00:05:12
um the good stuff starts to come because the structural side of your brain gets really really tired takes over yeah and
00:05:18
so these guys are coming in and they're literally giggling and and just falling out and they just literally hand me this
00:05:24
piece of pieces of paper and it was typed at that time so they got it typed and then you hand it to me and they're watching me and I'm reading the the
00:05:31
sketches
00:05:36
they watch me just to make sure that they weren't just being Google for themselves yeah then they watched me and
00:05:41
I was reading it and I fell on the floor rolling laughing and they said we got
00:05:47
something here God damn and then Adam and I you know we know that Dane was gonna murder yeah you have to bring in
00:05:53
the video Yeah another level of commitment which is like there was a level of commitment you
00:05:59
expect this and then Dan would would just you know it just would go off it was Pennies from Heaven for me because
00:06:06
you have to write a lot of stuff but when you get something handed to it that's a Crusher it's physically funny and then every other way funny
00:06:12
for people it's one of the most famous sketches in our era there where they the
00:06:17
Italian waiters are kissing and then you know you being one of the Italian waiters you come by and you you lick uh
00:06:23
Kirsten she was a gamer she's what I call a broad she was great she didn't licked the [ __ ] out of her face I said
00:06:29
are you okay with this he goes oh yeah she was in a [ __ ] Crusher she's very
00:06:36
cool and then Adam is like you know we shared a dressing room for years and he said and he looked at me and he's you
00:06:42
know a bit of a hairy guy and he's he's got one of those hockey legs you know like the northeasterner kind of guy yeah
00:06:50
you know yeah yeah you should be playing and he's actually a pretty good skater yeah yeah you know he's actually like
00:06:55
during like um the second season I remember we were walking to go to get something to eat and it was it was snow
00:07:00
on the street and he would like run out and during stop doing there was a stoplight and he'd get behind a cab and
00:07:06
sneak behind a cab and he'd let the cab pull him
00:07:19
[ __ ] yeah and I said dude you're famous you're gonna get you know you're gonna get smashed he didn't need anything extra going on he already had everything
00:07:25
going yeah so then he also could do that and then he asked me and he said um
00:07:30
should I um should I shave my pubes and I went absolutely and I just knew it was
00:07:36
gonna grow back and he was going to be in agony for a couple of weeks and I was going to enjoy that and so he's preparing he's got this like diaper on
00:07:42
before and he just shaved the pubes for the bit Yeah so he's there before we're in the dressing room and he said should
00:07:48
I shave my pubes for the Italian waiter's bit because he comes out in a diaper basically well with his ass hanging out and I said absolutely Adam
00:07:55
shave the [ __ ] out of that and then he did and then um and I came out and I was ass naked and that was when the the
00:08:01
sensor um who was the time in our era Andrew Brewer Andrew Brewers yes please don't show your ass please please I beg
00:08:08
you I'll get fired please please please I beg you beg you because then they were laughing so hard when especially when
00:08:14
you were humping Victoria I want to ask from your point of view about that because how do we get to that where I go
00:08:21
as the waiter I lick kirsty's face I do I go back and somehow Victoria and I are
00:08:26
having some debate or something then I lean her down on the table did I do that in the dress show no I did didn't okay
00:08:33
you you what happened was like a lot of times you take something oh this is funny let's do it more and more yeah yeah and by the by the by the dress
00:08:40
rehearsal it was screamingly funny and then it was another level and then Farley also was like was pumping the
00:08:46
window at the end yeah so it was a thing and then it was one of the freaking one of the few sketches and and the the
00:08:52
biggest tag of any sketch I was ever involved in was usually you don't have a good ending for something right but but
00:08:58
Kevin Nealon who was the date of Kirsty alley said let's go to a hey this is too much let's go to the this is a Greek
00:09:04
restaurant which is like oh my God it was a screaming life at the end I'm remember being four feet away from you
00:09:11
four feet away from um uh from Adam and we're looking at each other with that slight little grin
00:09:17
because I never liked being one of those guys who ever broke I never broke I just didn't respect that it wasn't part of the tradition of the SNL and I know that
00:09:24
they did after we left or after my years there you're not allowed not to laugh but I looked at him and there was a look at her face like we couldn't hear each
00:09:31
other do our lines yeah but we knew it so well that we're like it's just murdering like especially when I came
00:09:36
out it was a scream when I came out because you come out naked I came out you came
00:09:41
out so santorial and so straight and so no sense your ass is hanging out you're
00:09:46
just you're bare and you're just acting so regular yes that was something that
00:09:53
the audience had never been seen at all yeah yeah which is so good to not comment on yeah and just commit to the
00:10:00
stuff you know which was what you need to do but there's a little bit of you're enjoying it also it's always behind the
00:10:05
eyes when I have Victoria's legs in the air and I'm having a kind of an argument with you guys what number that what are
00:10:11
you doing and that's going can't really even hear myself the audience is wrong because the visual of it Victoria of
00:10:18
course was such a gamer oh yeah and the that was a perfect part for her so you guys wrote and produced a perfect sketch
00:10:25
basically that was the best one I mean there were some some that were um some just stand out I'm just like
00:10:30
well that was there's just there are things that are you can't deny
00:10:36
[Music] another thing that a little gem that the great Dana Carvey gave me he was because
00:10:43
you're frustrating you don't know how the business is I didn't know anyone in it my mom was a was a teacher War Survivor my dad had his own trauma in
00:10:50
his uh in his youth you know there's a suicide his father committed suicide so I raised but I didn't know anything I
00:10:57
had fragile very fragile parents who are also really really had a violent straight to I don't know what the hell
00:11:03
I'm doing and I don't know and but Dana gave me this thing because you have this fire in you but it's like I tell my own
00:11:09
kids I said like and I got luckily beautiful little kids and I said you got a fire in you fire is very instructive
00:11:15
it can it can it can cook your dinner but it can also burn the house down you know and Danny said very instructed to
00:11:22
me I never forgot it's one of the things that you keep going what did I say but you said you don't have to let people know how hungry you are that was
00:11:29
informative because it's like I want this [ __ ] thing so bad look at these he said calm down said and then you said
00:11:36
get so good they can't deny you still may not get the job yeah
00:11:41
but get so good they can't deny and then and then they go well yeah well that guy's amazing that guy's great but we
00:11:47
got to hire the more famous guy and now that that keeps you going for for your Club drama when you're you're starting
00:11:52
out in clubs a lot of drama and you can get into the drama with the dysfunctional Comics I should be a
00:11:57
headliner I know why I got that and just look at your own feet stay in your lane and just become undeniable but but who
00:12:04
takes your side and gives you that kind of information yeah it's nice and then also the witness to it like I said well this and he said when I we had a great
00:12:10
drive down to La one time stayed at your apartment and I was like this is beautiful this is going to be my future I'll move that in this is going to be
00:12:16
amazing I have a lot of guys going to L.A I love it and he's like no this and then like and I remember it's like you
00:12:23
were on the TV show where they like clearly the most you know I said this is the most talented guy I know and they
00:12:30
don't know how to use him and they've let you have five minutes to do whatever you wanted at the end of that TV series
00:12:35
which where you played a helicopter yeah and I was like Blue Thunder Blue Thunder I never should have done that stuff that
00:12:41
was because I was so I they wanted to have me do a TV show I I didn't quit after
00:12:48
that I just focused on stand up for the for the last two years before SNL but it wasn't really informative too I said
00:12:54
like well if they can't he's the most talented guy I know most talented guy out of San Francisco this is the guy and
00:13:00
it said like and if if this if he's having a problem here what the hell am I worried about and that actually was very
00:13:07
informative as well so well this [ __ ] it's hard and so that's why when you do a thousand auditions like we did yeah
00:13:12
you know and like the thing about what's cool about Spade was he had already done a movie that was like amazing because I used to
00:13:20
Academy that was like a an enigma in a you know it's crazy I was already outside for 10 weeks and one and but you
00:13:27
know Robbie we got the balls you had was when things were cooking quicker for you
00:13:35
you got offered a movie and you said no I think it was the one with Michael J fox in his yeah and it was also Peter
00:13:42
Jackson I should have said yes but the script was terrible it was three years around I was like I think it was his first American movie but it was called
00:13:48
Abracadabra which is like oh my God it sounds like a career Ender that's a great oh yeah but it wasn't it wasn't a
00:13:55
great but like I would have no it was I think 300 Grand because I was more torn up by it than you were I was like he's
00:14:01
turning the [ __ ] boy but you also the boss also did some shitty copy machine when we were just being told every day
00:14:08
don't put yourself in two lines well that was it and then you wrote your own sketch and I was like the balls and then
00:14:14
it got on and I was like wait that's even possible that's a dangling carrot because like
00:14:19
when Lauren that was too good too a little vague right you said like what I said but I want to be a performer I said
00:14:25
I'm we're going to hire you are we going to hire you as a writer like we like it's a group but we're gonna hire you as
00:14:30
a writer because that's what happened after I got I didn't do the didn't meet with him because I went into a 75 gig
00:14:37
and [ __ ] in San Diego and San Diego Then I freaked out and then then I really got nervous because then they they flew us
00:14:43
back to New York and we had to perform for the Riders at catch and you know they didn't laugh once in the whole time
00:14:49
they just want to see if you if you're gonna get shaken that's it Lauren when I
00:14:54
was he he pushed me a little bit do you have anything else or is it just that I mean he literally tried to shake me not
00:15:01
at the club he saw me at a club but at the little audition so yeah that that is a show rattles you don't give it up you
00:15:08
don't you don't you know yeah but there was a thing about like remember when the ears burning off my face I was saying I remember at that point I had to say to
00:15:14
myself okay you just got annihilated physically emotionally spiritually in
00:15:20
every way you can and they said you can't I said I just said to myself you cannot let this get to you and you have to you have I said I'm willing to let
00:15:26
them get to me till here and it was like my belt I said I'm gonna let this affect me here but not all the way to my feet
00:15:31
I'm not gonna let that happen and so like when I was eating it that night just get through this man get through
00:15:37
this they saw you be funny the other just get through it get through it and I walked out of there and I was shaken by it but not broken and that was the key
00:15:43
because on live TV you can't shake you can't be broken you got to stand in there and do it and it's just a
00:15:49
repetitive nature of it and just just getting stealing getting tough and then and to the other level to enjoy it
00:15:55
that's the that's where you want to get to and that takes took me a little time to truly enjoy it and then also to deal
00:16:02
with the pressure of it I mean because that is a CR I mean that's why like when we first got there I remember you and I look like what is everybody complaining
00:16:08
about it's the greatest thing ever and like four years later it's like boy it just it does wear you down sure 100 hour weeks so when you so it's like a dream
00:16:15
come true when you got copy machine guy what what was that feeling because then you get on the show when you get there
00:16:21
and you see like wow something's pop these people get into restaurants quicker than me you say like you got
00:16:26
Phil Hartman you got Dana carb you get these Murderers Row up there yeah and then um but you also know that like I
00:16:33
know I can get this and if I just got to get on there and then you know then I remember uh when the first year the late
00:16:40
no uh it was late um in 1990 when Adam Sandler was hired
00:16:45
and this is a guy and it was so cute because his first week was there we wrote A Sketch together
00:16:50
and um I said come on I'll show you how it's done like I know I've been there before shows by then and then um he uh
00:16:57
Emma he stayed up online his little eyes were puffy and we wrote this thing for ourselves and then still had the big
00:17:02
legs though and we wrote it and then uh uh they took
00:17:09
it away from us and then gave it to like was going to be uh I think it was good and they said like well I said well what
00:17:15
do we have to in a gentle gentle way uh what do we have to do to um to get on ourselves here and it was very
00:17:22
instructive too he said well and this is down he said when you could perform something when you write
00:17:27
something that you could perform better than other people then we'll we'll get it on and I said okay Bingo I'll come up with something and I liked writing for
00:17:34
other people because I enjoyed also the thrill of like when you performed a piece that was probably the best one I
00:17:40
had ever written for any piece and you had a way of like you would like it was
00:17:45
like the wave a really great comedian as opposed to like a sketch player maybe could do it too but a comedian in a big
00:17:52
room can ride the wave and before it's coming down you know three quarters two
00:17:58
quarters know when to come in with that other line and it was a massive hairy head wound oh you're kind of the main
00:18:04
architect of that sketch I wrote that yeah with Adam but that was me well double double
00:18:10
riding a rocket in that and of course when we talked about that on the podcast the dog thing at the end was you can't
00:18:17
beat a dog going dog you can't but the thing about it was the dog in the in the dress rehearsal yes what did you guys do
00:18:23
well dog and dress rehearsal we said okay well we can't have it rabid but
00:18:28
like it said they said to us you know I don't know anything about dogs and they just said well if we don't feed it it's going to uh you know it'll get to do
00:18:35
what we want by the time and anyway so they didn't they they fed it a little bit so it was curious it was curious
00:18:41
and it was absolutely famished did you put more was it baby food you put on it
00:18:48
was liver baby food baby food we put on and I said I [ __ ] put it on and I just I just I kicked on there you did a
00:18:55
beautiful thing where like because it was literally ripping off the side of your head because it was a wig prosthetic with a a bloody the dog went
00:19:02
for it basically a massive hair it wanted it on air it wanted it massive hairy head wound was a guy who should
00:19:09
not be at a party was at a party and just with a big head wound and it's just you know it's getting everybody is just
00:19:15
like he's trying to normalize it which is great somebody a crazy person in a room yeah yeah in a situation
00:19:22
it was just Giant head when they're reacting and he said this is a punch bowl and there's the thing and then at
00:19:27
the end there's um I take a nap take a nap goes to town and it was a one of
00:19:33
those things where you're watching it and it's just it's going really good and you're just like oh God come on please keep going keep going let's get to this
00:19:39
and then when the dog literally went let me just really want to get it went to get it because it knew where it was and
00:19:45
was hungry and then you do this beautiful thing where you snuck your hand up on the other side okay you don't
00:19:51
have to hold it and I was in it because it was like your eye your
00:19:56
eyeball your literally your right eye is literally well you were like four inches
00:20:02
away from this very hungry dog and you just kind of rode it wrote it and then you had the the wherewithal to remember
00:20:09
to let the audience as as that screaming laugh was coming down to throw in the
00:20:14
like yeah my dog my smell my dog yeah but you had
00:20:20
you had to almost yell it yeah I had to kind of yell and the thing was is back
00:20:26
to our generation of not breaking I the sketch went so beautifully I did not
00:20:31
want it to be about the prosthetic coming off yeah so by Consequence the the battle extended so long that and I
00:20:40
heard someone Lauren watching the monitor which always we always want to make Lauren helpless and it was helpless
00:20:45
with laughter but anyway God what can I do for you I mean it's the least I could
00:20:52
do to pay you back that's all you did for me two great gifts when you do Rob and I both have this problem where you
00:20:57
know you're writing that first year even second year for me and you're putting your stuff in even smaller parts and they go give that to Danny give it to
00:21:03
Mike Myers give it to and you have to keep taking yourself out so that one weigh-in is update because you're by
00:21:09
yourself you can try to get something on that was Santa's key especially the guitar and your and your copy machine
00:21:16
but I think the host was Sting the first time he did it well the first time I did it was with um Joe uh no no Joe Montana
00:21:25
and I remember it was so crushed because I finally had a monster it was one of the things I said well when um because
00:21:31
uh Jim Downey notices a kind of like a goofy too happy to be here kind of attitude you know was this and um and he
00:21:39
said you got to do a character called the lurker it kind of got us hanging around but it's truthfully and I gave him credit but usually the copy machine
00:21:45
guy had nothing to do with that really it was it was just a guy what the truth of the the real
00:21:51
um that really came from when we first got there to SNL remember before we got the really good office they gave you
00:21:56
there were so many cast members I think 17 at the time first time a really big cast there was a giant cast where
00:22:02
literally the crawl of the show was actually longer than like the monologue because there's like 17 and also and
00:22:08
this and coaster and and then the feature player it was like Ellen Cleghorn and David man Roger and Adam
00:22:14
Sandler it went on Melanie hustle um so so we were in like a half of a
00:22:19
half in office yeah anyway I had the cooling and heating vent in mine so it was either boiling or freezing in there
00:22:25
so and I have claustrophobia because I have two older brothers and put mean sleeping bags and closets my childhood so like I I can't stand closed
00:22:32
captioning not available
00:22:51
[Music]
00:23:16
to me the real democracy you know for there's no such thing as a democracy in
00:23:21
in show business but that was the most democratic thing I've ever experienced if you wrote a sketch it was read in front of everybody and that is pretty
00:23:28
damn amazing so if you murdered with everybody chances are usually that's good and I I think that uh I would use
00:23:34
the word inexplicability like making copies it's all not a punchline you know
00:23:41
it's all the absolutely and the Rhythm to it but it's also just kind of a a nerd in an office leaning back trying to
00:23:48
be friendly I mean it works on a lot of levels kind of a funny way by that time because it was just like
00:23:56
yeah obviously and he's like he was a guy that you also he's kind of kind of gentle and nobody wanted to hurt his
00:24:01
feelings but he's also annoying and so it was a nice combination of this vulnerability smiling yeah vulnerability
00:24:07
yeah and then people I remember uh I remember that like as I did it with Joe Montana and they said we're gonna we're
00:24:13
gonna cut it some time we're gonna save it and then we're like save it terrible it's my chance I'm I've waited all these
00:24:21
years I'm 25. I gotta make it now who's this guy but how would you not give it to the
00:24:28
host I mean every the always the trick is if you write some of the hosts that's the best if you could perform it better
00:24:35
in that sing-songiness too yeah I mean the Rhythm I don't know if it's the perfect guy right so when did it first
00:24:40
kill who's this thing well yeah he's gotta came out of the gate yeah and people got into the Rhythm early into
00:24:46
that sketch what was the first line third time the third line Kevin and they said hey what's going on it's a all
00:24:53
right Kevin asking me questions Kevin hater Kevin and that one oh they laughed
00:24:59
the second one Kevin you know just there's no new information happening conversations
00:25:07
that's like a little song and then there you can laugh and then they found a spot for it and then I remember uh you know
00:25:13
the great Jim Downey took me aside and said though well it's the only time like they hadn't done it very often in that
00:25:18
show were like you know except for you know the you know you're the weight of
00:25:23
you having to open every show for years was they said we're gonna do um we're gonna do another one of those they said
00:25:30
we have a very very uh rare thing here a character that uh that people love and I
00:25:37
said it's a very rare very the rarest of things here and I said we're gonna do another one and then he had the idea of
00:25:42
the copy machine breaking down and that was the best one we ever did I don't remember and that was phenomenal that was like because he got to see his whole
00:25:48
world crushed oh crushed you know how does he react to that he's just like well they're taking the machine out
00:25:54
there's no reason for him to contact with him anymore his world is taken apart
00:26:01
it's just he just got crushed and then they um they brought it back in but you
00:26:07
got to see him he's like devastated yeah yeah and I just remember laughing but when the first time we did it the read through Jim was dying laughing because
00:26:14
of the Rhythm it was a rhythm of a rhythm of a rhythm yeah and and that by the time it was like and there was just
00:26:20
a a pummeling of it and he was dying laughing great to make Jim laugh this is
00:26:25
the one that's gonna get on and Jim would give it up that was the key to it he was interested in us as young guys
00:26:30
and I think fed off the energy but also if he found something funny he was very generous you know that wasn't always the
00:26:36
case with people you know because you know like you know Jay Leno was like was
00:26:42
another influencer like when Bob Fisher then was a manager he said and I was a young comedian he said uh you're gonna
00:26:48
pick up Jalen oh he's got a gig in San Jose are you going to take him to the radio and I know you know San Francisco you're you grew up here you're gonna you
00:26:54
know like the back your hand take him wherever he wants to go so with Jay Leno which is a great jaylen's story that's
00:26:59
it's an old one you gotta hear this one but so I pick up Jay's just happened nice clean car yeah and so um you know
00:27:06
he picked them hey you see you you drive me to think yeah I said yeah okay I mean you know so you're driving and I'm not
00:27:12
saying anything I'm just driving there and um he said you know what good um you know good Chinese restaurant I said I
00:27:18
know the best Mr Limo so I took him to the place that my dad knew was like for wealthy people where they would go we
00:27:23
would go to a different place it's just as good food not as expensive just as good as that place so I took him to that place you know they said well come on
00:27:30
and eat we don't eat right by myself you know and because I wasn't gonna go and sit with him but he did he says don't want to be a comedian and I said the yes
00:27:36
I said well how much how much time you have I said I got about eight minutes he said good you know most comedians ask
00:27:42
how much time I got two hours who wants to hear two hours of Comedy material you either have you either have five minutes
00:27:48
of kills every time everywhere everywhere you go any place and oh you don't have anything he's right that's what you got to get and so he said so I
00:27:54
spent the next six months just only trying to get that killer five and that was really helpful but the Jay London story which is really funny around that
00:27:59
time he was doing this bit on on Letterman go where is it what's your beef
00:28:06
and he would do a spin and it was a monster you know like you and I opened for him yes 1985. the two of us both of
00:28:15
us okay because I did open for him I was the opening act you would come in and you did the you did a half and then he
00:28:21
did an hour okay and we both sat back and went like wow this guy just just got it so we have our killer bits that this
00:28:28
guy has every bit is a killer bit that's what we said to each other we're watching it was at the um the palace
00:28:35
House Fine Arts yes yes yeah and he was like a professional comedian in the sense that every bit would flow to the
00:28:41
next bit and Chris taking his McDonald's hey McDonald's trainee how do you be in McDonald's
00:28:56
keep driving and he's smoking a pipe backstage and I got off maybe before he went off he always had a pike literally
00:29:03
days ago yeah you need more jokes Mr Coffee it was kind of right because I'm just doing jumping broccoli chopping
00:29:09
broccoli so I assume Jay would be like you know any more jokes but he and he
00:29:15
rode a motorcycle under this year yeah he always was on a motorcycle on the stage the broccoli there's a funny thing
00:29:21
that happened though there was a comedian who did an impression of Jay early because we can all do we're all
00:29:27
I'm like Generations we all got that you know it's like you know um once somebody
00:29:32
breaks it and then yeah everybody has it so there was a guy who did an early
00:29:38
impression of uh of Jay and what he did back then remember there's like a comedy
00:29:43
magazine or a comedy list of when your spots would you you know so if you had if you were you know like Jay Leno or
00:29:48
Jerry Seinfeld you could buy a whole page which is like you know just for last newspaper yeah so you can and then
00:29:54
they would promote and it would hand it out of the different Congo so you know and he's playing this Auditorium Jerry was another one way ahead of us yeah
00:30:01
already promoting and big you know whatever and so but what happened was there was a comedian who saw where Jay
00:30:07
was playing so he would call up and say and he says yeah yeah you're gonna I'm doing man you're gig and then you know
00:30:12
it's kind of one thing that when I show up at the airport you're gonna have to have uh 25 000 cash at the airport when you pick me
00:30:19
up and so Jay would fly to this place and they go uh Jay uh here uh thanks for coming and here's a here's your cash
00:30:25
with it so it's a 25 000 yes I didn't ask for 25 now what are you talking about who answered I'm not it's like I
00:30:32
said and then he would go to another place you know and the guy would call ahead and say I said yeah yeah before
00:30:38
anything oh my God you're gonna have a I need the 25th in a brown in a brown
00:30:44
paper bag and they have it at the airport you got to do it or I'm not going to do the gig and
00:30:59
for these guys I gotta go down here and so what he did was he called he finally figured out what was going on here so he
00:31:06
called said listen if you get the guy you know it calls up and says he's me just get his number and then so he got
00:31:12
his number this comedian uh-oh who's doing it and then he found out the guy's name and when he and the the best part
00:31:18
of the story he was going to uh he was auditioning for Jim McCauley for The Tonight Show they said let me and we
00:31:24
know anything going on so before uh they bring him up Jay said let me just go up and do some
00:31:31
time does 45 minutes of his killer [ __ ] at
00:31:37
the comedy magic club before this guy goes on and blows out the room yeah and Jake could blow out any room he wanted
00:31:44
and blew it out to there's just nothing left and then this guy went on after and just ate it didn't get the shot I I you
00:31:50
know I'm I'm complete guilty in 78 after Mork and Mindy I did a couple you know hello this is Robin I need I need a
00:31:58
million dollars cash her [Laughter]
00:32:09
[Music] I just want to mention that these comments Pals and you can join in
00:32:15
because they're listening to this from the old San Francisco that of course the great Bobby slate and Mike Pritchard
00:32:21
Jake Johansen Mill table Larry Bubbles Brown Mark Pitta Bob sarlop Mark McCollum and many many more that came up
00:32:29
in that early scene with us Robin Williams was the Godfather of that
00:32:35
Williams was such I mean before the internet before you know cell phones Robin would show up at like the at the
00:32:42
holy city zoo and then people on the street would hear about it and the next thing you know it's packed people will be running to get in there and then he'd
00:32:47
do an hour at least oh yeah and maybe and then he'd leave and if the drunk people stayed then we'd have an audience and so more times than not they would be
00:32:55
the audience would come to see him and uh hopefully he'd show up and more times
00:33:01
than that he did because he was just addicted to it and then um and loved it and so we had a scene thanks to him
00:33:07
there was like at one point on one street on one unblock there were three places to do stand up
00:33:14
was that last day Saloon had it on like Mondays or whatever Holy City Zoo Clement Street and sixth and 16th and
00:33:21
then there was a place across the street that would do it on like Tuesdays yeah a bar you know we were there pre-clubs the
00:33:26
clubs the first Club got built in 79 proper club that was the punchline when
00:33:32
you did that they paid you 25 a little bit more than that that was amazing but that but like and also just seeing like
00:33:38
um you know um had like a real job in Show Business he
00:33:44
was like on TV which is like incredible damage tonight he was a sidekick for Letterman on Letterman's morning on the
00:33:51
morning show that was like ridiculous and but he had like would do spots on TV and was always smooth and a totally
00:33:57
professional guy yeah great kind of like had that that kind of uh the Charisma of like eleno who just would just settle in
00:34:02
the audience could be totally relaxed watching him and then um see like Slayton would murder and do really edgy
00:34:09
obviously edgy material that like and get away with it and just get to the point where the audience is is pushing
00:34:16
back because but then and dancing around it and and make jokes off uh not apologizing for it and that was a really
00:34:23
like very instructive way and he would destroy a room like literally like in that I said well you have to learn what
00:34:29
a like a headliner is you had to learn what an emcee is or like a middle act and you see like you see Dana Carvey is
00:34:35
like well that's a superstar but then you see like let me see Bobby slave solid Headliners Bobby Slayton was a solid headliner is going to work
00:34:41
everywhere and that's what you got to do but that wasn't my style because my style was more offstanding and
00:34:46
uncomfortable so I was good for 20. I would be good for 10 15 20. was interesting and different bring the
00:34:52
audience to me and but that's not a headliner headliner you got to go out and you got a Pummel and that's different but in the last 15 years when
00:34:59
you come back to stand up you've done several specials you've done great you know that that you think you have great
00:35:05
great stand up you have to change and adapt because you also have to adapt to what their expectations are yeah once
00:35:10
you're famous you're famous copy machine or whatever they've seen your man so all the movies
00:35:15
I was gonna say if we're going to wrap up precious uh San Francisco you also
00:35:21
did um these guys didn't move to LA that was
00:35:27
the problem yeah yeah and they became San Francisco treats you know like famous San Francisco but you have to
00:35:34
make the sacrifice and come down and eat [ __ ] for a while and audition for a thousand but a lot of people's like they didn't want to mess with how comfortable
00:35:40
things were I never understood that uh like making that your thing because I think it was Rick Overton who said uh
00:35:45
Hey the cameras are down there buddy let's go to where the cameras are you
00:35:50
have to Rich scheidner hey did it says here you dated Julia Sweeney I don't remember that no I don't know
00:35:57
you had a phrase called you can do it is that true well that was I didn't understand that
00:36:03
Adam asked me to be in one of his early movies he asked me to be in like the to play the part that Ben Stiller did in
00:36:10
um Happy Gilmore because of this playing I have a chemistry and David you guys
00:36:16
are part of yeah there was a thing where like there was a comfort level where like and I finally told Adam he said
00:36:22
listen I said stop he said you got to put other famous people in these movies you don't need and I said you don't need
00:36:28
to hire me for that I'm telling you you could hire other hire Nick Nolte and he finally did and now he's not hiring me
00:36:33
he took me up on it but the but like hire people and do these other you know and um but you beat the [ __ ] out of that
00:36:41
that's what I mean doing a great thing with that phrase a rhythm so the thing was he said there's one line and you
00:36:46
could do it and it says you can do it and it was it was actually Hurley who came up with it and he and I said well
00:36:52
what does it mean he said just come out we'll figure it out it's a rhythm thing and I'll go like all right she went out and it was a sing-songy thing of just
00:36:59
just a guy showing up yeah who was so there's that the fun of the audience knowing that there's some back history
00:37:04
something's happening and it was like and I said I'll find a way to do it and just do it in different ways you can do
00:37:10
it so it was like it was just goofy it didn't make sense it was a guy who is
00:37:16
not it was inexplicable that's why it lasts inexplicable jokes like chopped broccoli or you can do it just go on for
00:37:22
kids because it's something that it doesn't need to be performed that way the no one in the history of the world
00:37:28
would say it that way it's not necessary it's unnecessary it's five questions who is that guy what
00:37:34
is he doing there how did he get there when did he come with this catchphrase why is he yelling it when you can get to
00:37:40
five questions that's a keeper and auditions a celebrity yelling a [ __ ] joke yeah
00:37:46
right what's the [ __ ] the joke he's like I got chunks of guys like you in my stool oh there you go Phil Hartman yeah
00:37:53
three three but the five that's pretty good so that was like and let's do it in different ways and he kept Adam had a
00:37:58
genius thing of like he would keep the audience always get a laugh in there and even when it was like a serious part and
00:38:04
like the water boy when he's upset and he throws a a basket throws a baseball out the window and hits the Kentucky
00:38:09
Fried Chicken Colonel and he kind of laugh and carried them out of that scene yeah so he really knew how to you know
00:38:15
get keep the laughs going in there absolutely you go into auditions and then like when we were doing movies and
00:38:21
you would have people come in for auditions when you're on the other side of it or casting people yeah and when everyone does a line the same way and
00:38:27
then someone else you can do it you go oh and then you go have them come back because that stands out if you could if
00:38:35
you're not going to give it the most perfect reading that everyone's gonna give there's something to that
00:38:42
[Music] you gotta bring something to it that you've done something different yeah
00:38:47
bring something on the page somebody did the wrong Missy there was nothing in there I mean truthfully there's nothing in that role and wrong way for you
00:38:54
nothing but even Adam called me said I don't want you this is roll but it's not big enough you don't need to do it it's nothing
00:39:00
he asked me that was funny he asked me to like to do this thing and then he called me up at the last minute and go
00:39:06
like we really want you to do this and I said okay I'll do it and I said but it's my wife's birthday so that does just
00:39:14
bring her and so so we ended up my wife came she was happy to go to Hawaii and it was a fun gig because I'm just
00:39:20
showing up doing a small role yeah at a small time everyone's happy to have you there yeah because you're just coming
00:39:26
you're helping out yeah yeah you were scoring and then and I said well let me figure this out I called Sandler I said what if I do it as an Aussie guy and I
00:39:33
yeah and he says no and you know when Adam was like
00:39:39
he's already you can do it just do it
00:39:45
no yeah all right all right yeah and so but then you got to find the thing and I said well I said if you start crazier to
00:39:52
beginning in the beginning of the scene and then you got a place to really go if you were crazed and I said give me
00:39:58
sunburned and never and I was like overweight and burned and fat and bald and I said this is going to be great I
00:40:04
always commits to them yes and they gave me a hand that was missing a few fingers and I said that young director a young
00:40:10
directors you know you be gentle with the young directors but you also have to like you can't listen a hundred percent
00:40:15
because they you know if you want 30 movies in you go I really think this is a better idea than because he said like
00:40:22
when you see that shark down there you tell him you know and he's like you tell him I'm gonna get I'm gonna carry you
00:40:27
know the attitude is to be angry and I thought well let's do the opposite of that you know and I said because I put the camera
00:40:35
when you see that shark down there you tell him what's up as if he's like happy
00:40:40
to see see him again even though he ate my hand and it's just funnier it's it's a rhythm that you don't expect it's
00:40:45
positive it's always good to go there and it's when the guys get eaten by a shark I said you got to cut back up to
00:40:51
us dancing that's a disco song and you just got to do it and he said we don't have time just give me one take I said
00:40:57
he's under David's under the David's in there I want to hear him and I said and he said we don't have music we don't have
00:41:03
time for the money we don't have music and I said let me talk to my music guy and I'll give you a piece in 30 minutes that'll be free just uh yeah that's
00:41:12
awesome I called my composer John Hunter in in Austin I said dude can you just give me Fam I'm doing this movie it's
00:41:17
Happy Madison David Spades the star we just need a disco song that they they can just have for free you Farley
00:41:23
Schwartz and just are dancing and playing against me getting eaten by sharks yes and he said well we only have
00:41:29
time for one take I said I'll take it yeah I'll take it so he did the one with the crane coming up but we're dancing to this disco song and it's something to
00:41:36
cut to You're Gonna Want it yeah if we don't have time just do it so we got one yeah and that's what you so that's what
00:41:41
you kind of hope for well worth it but what voice did you settle on I just I saw that movie but they wouldn't let me do a um sorry what I ended up doing was
00:41:49
like a really loud kind of guy well they didn't want to do Robert's shots there was a guy who's an alcoholic and
00:41:57
great you know gravelly voice and uh low to the opposite of you yeah because that
00:42:02
was interesting and then like and then you get like and I had nothing really there so you just curious what do I got
00:42:07
so I'm the diving strong this is my book give me this is my [ __ ] boat I'm gonna charge the boat so give me some stuff and the prop guy said what do you
00:42:13
need I said Give me the give me the snorkel and the restroom so does it need to work it needs to work give me the
00:42:19
goddamn thing and he said please turn around give me something to do and so I started playing with it well between Texas what's funny and it was making
00:42:26
noise yeah and noise and so we just and David and I were working together
00:42:34
yes it's and he's about to get into the water and
00:42:41
as he's walking I'm walking with him with this thing it's yeah and I put and it's all right before I I'm spraying
00:42:47
putting it on him and spraying at the water and then I put it in my mouth
00:42:53
it's like I'm now supposed to put that in my mind yeah and I knew he'd go with it I
00:42:58
remember we were rehearsing that and I go rob because it was so funny I go do it more and so yeah
00:43:06
and I'm just staring at you and then you probably go
00:43:21
100 billion minutes or how many 55 million views that first month and then
00:43:26
uh still totally combine history so at like a billion I don't know back then it was in minutes it was just but that was
00:43:32
the thing funny with the sound turned off yes we had an acting coach Ivana chubbock yeah that's huge Roy London was
00:43:39
the first one and then when he passed away we uh Ivana chubbock took over and she would say do the scene again but
00:43:46
without the words so everyone knows for me a physicality what's happening yeah because that's you're communicating with
00:43:52
your body aren't you you should be that's why I Love Lucy that's the grape she could also tell us you use a lot of
00:43:58
props really work the room like it's more fun if you're doing business you're doing that that's hard to do because you're acting you got to remember your
00:44:03
lines you gotta you gotta match get it get the stuff and like produce Bigelow the thing about that was like my
00:44:09
favorite thing about that I was flying to Australia to promote the movie and I'd never flown anyway to promote
00:44:15
anything so this is like this is like the first starring role in any movie where I was like the guy on the poster
00:44:20
it's like it's cool to be on the poster and there's a billboard of you and it was um yeah and I thought wait let's just
00:44:26
have a big name Walt Disney Company did it in the it was um was for Joe Roth and
00:44:31
I said this is a funnier thing it's like me naked on the side of a bus you know like the Burt Reynolds singing I was in really good shape back then he said this
00:44:38
would be funny and I said no and they said very interesting things posters are to not lose people
00:44:43
don't give people a reason to not want to go see it give them any yeah and I said holy crap and so I'm flying to
00:44:49
Australia because the movie did really good in America you know and then um I just there's you you hear this laughter
00:44:55
it's hard to hear anything on a plane but you hear this booming laughter on a plane and I go back there and they were
00:45:01
watching my movie without the sound because they didn't want to you had to spend money to get movies back then really good sign yes really good so this
00:45:09
is going to do really good everywhere because but they didn't pay the 10 bucks they're just watching the movie because they can understand it by the
00:45:14
physicality because that's the way and you can laugh harder when it's funny with the sound off you're not waiting for punch lines yes you can just relax
00:45:21
and I and sometimes when you're doing things and they don't it's really funny and then they could ruin it with sound
00:45:27
there's a Men Behaving Badly TV series the funniest thing I did in the whole series was very frustrating because the
00:45:32
English show was so funny it's the only reason I agreed to do it do the same thing sitcom on NBC and uh and they just
00:45:40
they instead of making it just doing the same um episodes that did in England they
00:45:46
watered them down as like men apologizing badly but there was one really funny thing where I said there was I'm gonna get attacked by an owl and
00:45:53
it was in the way back and they're forgot and I'm just in the in the background where there's people in the front which that's hilarious yes you
00:46:00
could be the funny they said what would we have we can't have a real owl and as you just get a stuffed owl just get something and I'll pretend it's
00:46:06
attacking to me yeah so I grabbed the beak right here and I did this and I am spinning around and I'm going out of
00:46:11
frame coming back in coming through I'm hitting and hitting it hit and then and so and that was the um and then they put
00:46:18
and it was it was the funniest thing I had done on that show and then they put like when they when they came on the air
00:46:25
the Cowardly producers decided to put squawk squawk
00:46:30
which killed it yeah because it brought too much attention to it but I ended up redoing that for another movie basically
00:46:36
that idea of the far background and going back with an animal that's the essence of of comedian trying to be in
00:46:42
movies and wanting to control the Rhythm and Sandler told me early on after his success he goes carvery they don't
00:46:48
meaning the directors he did a couple of movies where what Adam didn't get to be at him he goes yeah they don't know what
00:46:53
they're doing on Harvey yeah they don't really know it's not their fault they don't know where to put the camera or
00:46:58
whatever so that that that kind of triggers me a little bit because I had experiences just like that because that's a survival mechanism you know
00:47:04
what yeah we know the funny part just let us do that so and then and then if you get anybody who's going to be a
00:47:11
director and they usually put us with commercial directors because they know where to put the camera not at work and then it was schedule and blah blah but
00:47:16
they also have the ego of like no let's do it my way right and then you go but this is whatever I wrote well Penelope's
00:47:23
Ferris in Wayne's World one was my best director because I'd have a Garth thing and she'd go what are you gonna do here
00:47:29
and I'd show lower and her only Direction was could you do it 10 seconds faster that was it no other direction
00:47:36
but that's actually good because I already had the character and the thing is about doing it faster and get cutting
00:47:41
out the pauses yeah that's instructive that's fine I you know that's just okay I can do it a little shorter I used to
00:47:46
hate when like um you know Dennis Dugan would say can you do without the pauses can you just do it without the pie just
00:47:52
do it tighter there without the pauses and it's okay just cut it that way and they said what if I don't want to cut it and then he's right yeah because a
00:47:59
single shot is best ideally unless the edit is a comic book that was the thing like John Cleese is such a my hero and
00:48:06
like um genius genius and um he said you know look at the scene
00:48:11
um in uh Life of Brian also voted as the number one comedy of all time in England uh not that you know you've bastardize
00:48:18
our language but uh but for English in the traditional anyway it's all and he said this is the number one this is the
00:48:24
voted not by me of course by people who you know the public so anyway so he said look at the scene when Michael Palin and
00:48:31
there the guards are going in to um you know this is don't I said don't let anyone in blah blah and unless it's
00:48:38
him and I know and it's the guards and they said and then so okay let anyone in no no no no no don't let anyone in no
00:48:44
matter what and it's a very intricate thing yeah but it's a single Master shot it requires a lot more rehearsal but
00:48:50
it's worth it they all let the audience decide where they want to look because so much of Direction in television Direction and we're an Arab television
00:48:58
cut here let them look at this cut here look at them do this movie I don't really speak Spanish that well but I
00:49:05
just directed a film in in Mexico and the the editor who's a great guy but he cuts to this and then punching on this
00:49:12
and I said let the audience figure it out and two shots are great where they're looking let the audience decide
00:49:17
who they want to look at I feel like when I'm watching some stand-up specials I'm in an invisible flying chair like
00:49:22
I'm in this I'm flying in the chair seeing the guy waist up and all of a sudden I'm way the back and then I'm right up on his face and like you know
00:49:29
just let it breathe you know that junk that cowboy shot hold that a lot yeah that's the most important shot for stand
00:49:36
up couch was it Steve Allen I mean it just became the classic shot to give a
00:49:41
monologue yeah the audience has to feel comfortable yeah they have to be comfortable with you and within and and
00:49:47
if they're and always tell them movies it's like you know and I tell this thing because I was just working with a great crew in Mexico and I said listen I said
00:49:54
here's the thing I would tell the the first ad and you know because we're getting along in days and I said you
00:49:59
know what people never say I gotta go see that new movie I heard it was on time
00:50:05
you know I get it and I tell the cinematographer who wanted to do this shot he said and I said I said you know
00:50:10
what they never hear you never hear an audience people say like I gotta go see that new movie I hear the camera moves
00:50:16
her ex I heard it came in under budget all right Rob thanks for coming by I guess
00:50:21
Schneider all-time great on SNL huge uh cultural influence in American comedy
00:50:26
movies in the last 30 years and uh just uh really shared a lot of great times
00:50:32
with this young man David we're friends right yeah I like all my youngsters I'm so proud of both of you thank you
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all right peace out be well
00:50:45
this has been a podcast presentation of cadence 13. please listen then rate review and follow all episodes available
00:50:52
now for free wherever you get your podcast no joke folks
00:50:58
fly on the wall has been a presentation of cadence 13. executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade Chris
00:51:04
Corcoran of cadence 13 and Charlie finan of brilstein entertainment the show's lead producers Greg Holtzman with
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production and Engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of cadence 13.