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Tom Segura: “That Was the F*cking Wildest Opening to a Show I’ve Ever Had” | Fly on the Wall

April 26, 2023 / 03:47

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I'm backstage and I got like at these
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you know at these big casinos there's
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like 200 security staff like it's a lot
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of security right
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so I they start coming around I hear
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they're all on their walkies and their
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earpieces and they're so I'm like what
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is happening and they're like well
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there's there's this guy in the front
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row and I'm like what's gonna happen
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what are we gonna what's gonna what are
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you gonna do yeah they go well we think
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it's going to be too disruptive
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to remove him during Kirk set
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so what we're going to do is because
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he's like getting through it he's almost
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done
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when he gets off stage and you're gonna
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about to go on stage that's when we'll
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remove him and I go hey man it's it's
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your like your security do whatever you
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want I just I just want to know what's
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going on and they're like that's what
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we're gonna do I go okay great Kirk
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finishes his says good night he walks
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off stage they start playing a song and
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that's like my cue that I have like 10
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seconds and then I walk on stage so
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I walk on stage and as I walk on stage
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I grab the mic and I see like eight nine
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yellow security shirts you know big
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black letters on it all gathered around
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this dude in the front row oh God so I'm
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just you know how's everybody doing am I
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still like what's up and I grabbed the
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mic and I'm like hey and I I can't even
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get out the first sentence and
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this becomes Mayhem right so like they
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are holding this guy and I see his head
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pop out from under like a Choco and he
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goes Tom Tom oh my God yeah he goes I
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came to see you and I go what do you
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mean to do and he goes help me oh my God
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I go I think it's beyond my control now
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they start to pull him and dude it's
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taking like six seven guys his girl pops
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up
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and she [ __ ] punches one of the one
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of the security guys yeah and I'm like
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and I'm sitting here from the stage I
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haven't started talking yet Everyone's
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Watching and you you're all just
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watching yeah and there's the Jumbotron
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I'm watching you watch yeah and I'm just
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like you gotta be kidding me she turns
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and starts yelling at me too I go what
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do you want me to do she takes her beer
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throws it on one of the security guys
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smart the guys start dragging the guy
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out and when they drag him out he takes
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them into an aisle so he he drags
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Security Guys into an aisle I see shoes
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come off
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pants come off they finally get them
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stood up underwears off he's fully naked
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in the arena now right it's Conor
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McGregor I'm like oh my God this guy's
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like uh I would say maybe five nine 265
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270 pounds okay so looks good with his
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clothes off looks great it's a nice shot
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I'm able to put like the show back on
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the tracks
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I finally get off stage and I'm like I'm
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like dude that was a [ __ ] wildest
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opening to a show I've ever had and they
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go yeah you know the cops here that
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guy's in jail blah blah blah
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like half an hour later
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we're walking through the casino
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there's the guy no there's the guy in
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this and I'm like
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how is he
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walking around you betrayed me he
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doesn't see me but when he walks by
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we're all like that's the guy and we
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talked to one of the security people
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high roller
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he's at front row High Roller whale yeah
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he's a whale they're like yeah I go this
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dude this dude like knocked one of your
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and then what they get away with they're
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like yeah 10 grand a hand dude it's fine

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