00:00:00
December 2016 um that's when the
00:00:02
accident happened with the Farmgate so
00:00:04
that's uh how old were you at the time
00:00:05
like 50 uh must have been
00:00:08
51 52 must have been 52 yeah um just a
00:00:13
freak accident mate yeah was this a gate
00:00:16
on a goat farm yeah yeah so um I've got
00:00:18
a mate that started a goat farm down on
00:00:20
the men I um and they had 900 goats you
00:00:24
know housed in this big awesome shed um
00:00:28
and she asked me if I'd like to come
00:00:29
along and do you know do farming for a
00:00:31
while so I was like yeah [ __ ] yeah I
00:00:33
would like to give this a go growth
00:00:35
mindset yeah yeah you know yeah if you
00:00:37
had F mind said you wouldn't have been
00:00:39
there that day so yeah I jumped at the
00:00:42
chance and um just one particular day
00:00:45
you know this these big um de fence
00:00:47
gates and they covered in corrugated
00:00:49
iron now the reasoning behind that is to
00:00:51
keep the weather out of the animals that
00:00:54
are housed inside the shed okay so it's
00:00:57
not to keep the animals in it's just to
00:00:58
keep them safe and dry comfortable sure
00:01:00
yep yep keeping their their housing and
00:01:02
that dry um so this particular day I was
00:01:05
closing this gate ready for milking and
00:01:07
just a freak gusta wind mate just picked
00:01:10
me up and the gate and slammed me um
00:01:13
against the post you know a big defense
00:01:15
post well what are you what are your
00:01:17
Recollections of that does it happen in
00:01:18
slow motion or it just happened so quick
00:01:20
that happened so bloody quick like a
00:01:21
matter of seconds yeah absolutely it was
00:01:24
you know to lift me and my fat ass off
00:01:26
the ground it had to be a pretty good
00:01:29
you know G of wind so yeah it just
00:01:31
slammed me there um and I ended up on
00:01:34
the ground um obviously the gate slammed
00:01:38
and then reopened and I just landed on
00:01:40
the ground and I looked at my arm and it
00:01:42
was just bent in a Like A L
00:01:44
shape unbelievable like like like like
00:01:47
blood coming out or had it slashed it or
00:01:49
no just bones everywhere just just just
00:01:52
completely like this here was just in a
00:01:54
V so imagine that both bones would just
00:01:57
snapped completely in half mate but the
00:02:00
bones weren't poking out of the skin or
00:02:02
no no you don't have to get that Bloody
00:02:03
gruesome man um I just just want to
00:02:06
paint a picture of what you went through
00:02:08
so so you're um so adrenaline kick are
00:02:10
you in pain or are you just um I think
00:02:13
the adrenaline had kicked in by then so
00:02:15
no I wasn't in pain um but I had this
00:02:17
small Nick on my knee obviously from a
00:02:20
bit of corrugated eye and I just sort of
00:02:22
got a Nick well that was more bloody
00:02:24
painful mate seriously um it was so
00:02:27
painful I don't know what was going on I
00:02:29
don't know where the pain had
00:02:30
transferred down to here but it was just
00:02:33
bizarre um so away we went to the
00:02:35
hospital um get to the hospital get to
00:02:38
A&E and the guys they were great there
00:02:41
um they took one look and they said yep
00:02:43
well we don't really need to send you
00:02:44
for an x-ray sh as we could see what's
00:02:46
going on um so they took me into a room
00:02:50
um knocked me out for five minutes and
00:02:52
realigned it and stuck me in a temperary
00:02:55
cast and I can remember the the doctor
00:02:58
in there saying to me you'll need to go
00:03:00
to surgery tonight Shar to get it plated
00:03:03
and um pinned you know just a few couple
00:03:06
of Pates and a couple of pins on each
00:03:09
side just a normal six to8 week recovery
00:03:12
and I'm like yep can handle that so
00:03:14
you're you're feeling okay you're
00:03:15
feeling pretty good about yeah yeah yeah
00:03:17
yeah absolutely and I'm like okay
00:03:19
surgery tonight that's fine he said
00:03:21
because if you don't go to surgery
00:03:22
tonight shares he said there's going to
00:03:24
be some serious
00:03:25
complications unfortunately I didn't go
00:03:27
to surgery that night
00:03:30
and were you after being being told that
00:03:32
were
00:03:33
you I don't like were you sort of I mean
00:03:36
it's easy to to have this line of
00:03:38
questioning and have this conversation
00:03:39
with the benefit of hindsight but were
00:03:41
you sort of like you know pushing it
00:03:44
yourself and saying Hey listen I need to
00:03:45
get to surgery I got told I need the
00:03:47
surgery at that stage no because they
00:03:49
told me that I'd go that night okay so
00:03:51
you know I was reassured that yeah it
00:03:53
was going to happen that night so I was
00:03:54
like okay so you just go with it right
00:03:56
yeah that the expert yeah you just roll
00:03:58
with it so I'm like okay okay get that
00:04:01
night at about 7:00 they come and tell
00:04:03
me that no I was going to be bumped
00:04:05
again this went on for 5 days mate five
00:04:09
fraking days see again we've got the
00:04:12
benefit of hindsight here but if it was
00:04:13
me I I I think if I was told you need to
00:04:15
get to surgery ASAP or else there's
00:04:16
going to be
00:04:17
complications I'd like to think I'd be
00:04:19
like aggressively pursuing it and
00:04:21
pushing it and following up I think I
00:04:23
was yeah but obviously you know you
00:04:26
you're in a lot of pain um the reason
00:04:29
why I was in a lot of pain was because I
00:04:31
could see my hand was stting my fingers
00:04:33
were starting to swell my hand was
00:04:36
starting to go black you know and the
00:04:39
pain was starting to get quite intense
00:04:41
so that's when I sort of got
00:04:44
pretty um let's say forceful MH you know
00:04:48
and I'd say to the nurses so this is day
00:04:50
this is day about three and a half yeah
00:04:54
and I'm saying look you know I really
00:04:55
need to see somebody here um and of
00:04:57
course the nurses had comeing I will
00:04:59
give you some more more panad sh you
00:05:00
know in the end I I did day five I said
00:05:05
you know this is
00:05:07
[ __ ] I'm in pain I want to see
00:05:10
somebody I want a doctor in here today I
00:05:13
need to see I said have a look at my
00:05:14
hand and by that stage you could see my
00:05:18
Knuckles my fingers going black so I
00:05:21
didn't know what the rest of the arm was
00:05:23
like so you were starting to panic well
00:05:26
I wasn't starting to panic I was in pain
00:05:28
okay I was in severe pain right um cuz
00:05:31
don't forget I'm still in a temporary
00:05:33
cast so a lot of the swelling couldn't
00:05:36
swell so um anyway the surgeon came in
00:05:40
and I can remember it it's just it's
00:05:42
just like he walked through that door
00:05:44
and I'm in a bed here like this sitting
00:05:46
up and he just walked in the door and my
00:05:48
arm was obviously sitting here and he he
00:05:52
just said get her to surgery now and I
00:05:56
can remember mate I was rushed out of
00:05:58
that room um and down to surgery so I
00:06:01
had surgery thinking that I was going to
00:06:04
come out of that and I'd just be you
00:06:06
know couple of four plates you know two
00:06:09
plates on each bone and screws in each
00:06:12
each bones um when I came to the surgeon
00:06:15
was actually standing by my bed and Me
00:06:18
in My Big Mouth I said what's going on
00:06:22
if you cut me [ __ ] arm
00:06:24
off wow he says no sh we haven't but he
00:06:28
said I need to inform you with had to do
00:06:29
a fasciotomy what's that exactly I said
00:06:32
speak to me in English so a FAS cuz I
00:06:36
couldn't see my arm it was all bandaged
00:06:39
up I had no idea what it was looking
00:06:41
like so fasciotomy was they had to they
00:06:44
cut right down the inside of my arm
00:06:47
cross my hand cross this side of my hand
00:06:49
and all the way back up this side now
00:06:51
the reasoning of that is it's to release
00:06:55
the pressure because it had swollen so
00:06:58
much it was severely
00:07:00
swollen um so from there every second
00:07:04
day I went back to theater and they
00:07:06
stitched up segments about this big each
00:07:09
time so I had nine surgeries in 11
00:07:12
days on the 11th day um this young
00:07:16
intern came in to my room and he says oh
00:07:19
I'm just going to have a look at your um
00:07:21
check your arm sh and I'm like oh yeah
00:07:23
that's fine didn't warn me about what
00:07:26
the hell my arm was going to look like
00:07:28
or what I was about to see he took all
00:07:31
the bandages off and the dressing off
00:07:34
and I don't know if you've seen any
00:07:37
photos D but no I haven't but there was
00:07:40
this gaping
00:07:41
hole in my arm so this massive hole here
00:07:45
now um some people will be watching this
00:07:48
on YouTube most people will be listening
00:07:49
to it what's the anything you can
00:07:51
compare it to in terms of size probably
00:07:53
the size of a tennis ball okay oh [ __ ]
00:07:55
yeah yeah so and and as round as a
00:07:58
tennis ball so where abouts like on the
00:08:00
where like on the on the forearm Yeah
00:08:02
just they were trying to close up um and
00:08:05
that was and I I looked and I was like
00:08:08
holy [ __ ] balls you know um and then I
00:08:11
looked and I said to him oh is that a
00:08:13
bit of gor and he goes no no that's your
00:08:15
tendent I'm like [ __ ] you know I'm
00:08:18
sitting there for the first time seeing
00:08:19
my arm and here's this massive hole I
00:08:22
mean they would make you quasy looking
00:08:23
at it on someone else's arm looking at
00:08:24
on your own arm are you are you
00:08:26
panicking at there I wasn't panicking I
00:08:28
was sort of like to to be honest I was
00:08:29
probably sort of steering away from it
00:08:32
you know at this point um and I said to
00:08:34
him why the hell have I still got that
00:08:36
hole there and he says oh we can't close
00:08:39
that shars we tried to close it and when
00:08:41
you woke up last time you were in so
00:08:43
much pain can't you remember and I says
00:08:45
no and he said no we had to rush you
00:08:47
back into theater and take those
00:08:49
stitches out that we can't close it it's
00:08:52
too um he's still too swollen so from
00:08:55
there they sent me down to Hut hospital
00:08:58
and well L into the Plastics unit where
00:09:01
they removed a bit of my backside not
00:09:03
that you can notice um and like a skin
00:09:05
graft yep and stuck it in slapped them
00:09:08
in there um and that was going to be
00:09:12
what my arm was going to look like so
00:09:13
from there I went home good old recovery
00:09:16
you know best recovery in bed sleep you
00:09:19
know let's be honest sleep is our best
00:09:21
recovery yeah absolutely so when you
00:09:23
when you leave um the hospital by the
00:09:25
way that's a lot that's a lot to go
00:09:26
through like how many how many
00:09:27
operations like so I had probably 11
00:09:29
operations all up in 14 days yeah that
00:09:33
takes it out of you it does yeah um but
00:09:35
you sent home so you've had all these
00:09:38
surgeries um all these all the all the
00:09:41
stress of this and the skin graft as
00:09:43
well and you sent home and you think
00:09:45
you're just going to recover and it's
00:09:46
going to be good all good just honest I
00:09:48
was sent home and I thought yep my arm's
00:09:50
going to this is a recovery stage now
00:09:52
we're starting the six to 8 week
00:09:53
recovery but when I left Hut hospital
00:09:56
they made another appointment for me to
00:09:57
come back so that they could check the
00:09:59
skin graft obviously um so yeah about a
00:10:01
month later went back down there once
00:10:04
again um took all the dressings off and
00:10:06
it was the first time I got to see my
00:10:08
arm um I probably should have bought you
00:10:11
some photos D it's and it's on the phone
00:10:13
I can easily show you they no things
00:10:15
they're pretty gruesome you know this
00:10:17
it'll show whether you're a man or a
00:10:18
mouse you know oh I'm a mouse I'm a
00:10:21
mouse I might get some off you for out
00:10:23
for my video guide you might want yeah
00:10:25
for sure um so yeah it was the first
00:10:27
time I got to see my arm m yeah not
00:10:29
pretty so I was scarred all the way down
00:10:33
here had this massive you know skin
00:10:36
grafting in here um which in a month's
00:10:38
time the skin gting had shrunk down and
00:10:41
it was looking okay so what do you
00:10:43
reckon did it look like an arm that had
00:10:45
been like chewed by a dog or something
00:10:46
would you say or yeah a shark a shark
00:10:48
right right yeah just and you so when
00:10:51
you see that do you um what's your
00:10:53
initial reaction like do you you break
00:10:55
down and cry like you no what's the
00:10:57
point of crying you know you it's only
00:10:59
spilled water you know um you look at it
00:11:02
and yeah you're
00:11:04
disappointed I didn't realize the extent
00:11:06
of my injuries until or the hospitals
00:11:09
let's put it this way I didn't realize
00:11:11
the extent of the hospitals [ __ ]
00:11:13
up um because this should not have
00:11:16
happened you are you frustrated at that
00:11:17
point um I know you're not a person that
00:11:19
likes to look back in anger but take you
00:11:21
back to that moment um honestly I'm not
00:11:24
frustrated I'm more all I wanted to do
00:11:27
was put my energy and my time into my
00:11:30
recovery what's the point of feeling
00:11:32
anger you know and boiling yourself up
00:11:35
you not it's not going to benefit you at
00:11:37
all so no but if it was me I'm just I'm
00:11:40
probably projecting here I'd be [ __ ]
00:11:41
infuriated well you know at that point
00:11:43
it hadn't really hit me D okay it really
00:11:46
hadn't hit me as to what I was going to
00:11:48
be left with what sort of arm I was
00:11:50
going to have Okay so this stage your
00:11:52
arms are Miss but you think it's going
00:11:53
to be fine yep okay yep totally thinking
00:11:56
that I was still going to have the use
00:11:57
of an arm and I was going to have you
00:12:00
know my my other arm my left arm um so
00:12:04
yeah as as rehab sort of continued on
00:12:08
the the scars they didn't really improve
00:12:12
the um hole that was in there from my
00:12:15
skin graph yeah it was there it wasn't
00:12:17
pretty you know I mean I'm not a com a
00:12:20
cosmetic chick by any means take a look
00:12:22
at me you know [ __ ] I don't buy that
00:12:24
[ __ ] you know I Was Born This Way why
00:12:26
try and spend thousands of dollars
00:12:27
trying to cover it up so you know the
00:12:29
Cosmetic sort of side of things didn't
00:12:31
really worry me but when I saw this it
00:12:34
did start to get to me that you know
00:12:37
this isn't good
00:12:39
because in the end I used to just have
00:12:44
my arm sitting here like this trying to
00:12:46
protect it because it was useless it was
00:12:49
freaking useless for anyone that's
00:12:50
listening to this um imagine so she's um
00:12:53
she has is missing her left arm now but
00:12:55
you hold it like held it like it was in
00:12:56
an invisible sling yep for sure
00:13:00
perfect um and um yeah so I just hold it
00:13:03
there and just try and protect it um and
00:13:06
in the end you know it was I it was
00:13:08
useless mate I just I had a name for it
00:13:12
you ready I've heard you say this in a
00:13:13
couple of podcasts yeah [ __ ] and a sock
00:13:15
I used to call it my [ __ ] and a sock
00:13:16
yeah what does that mean well it was
00:13:18
just [ __ ] useless you males will
00:13:20
understand that you know at times you
00:13:22
know and that's why I used to call it
00:13:23
that it was just useless cuz it was in
00:13:26
like a bandage and it was just yeah it
00:13:29
just used to hang it used to flop so um
00:13:32
that was my name for it you know I was
00:13:34
trying to make light of situation and
00:13:36
you know different things and that was a
00:13:38
way of calling it something ridiculous
00:13:39
and make having a bit of fun with it but
00:13:42
yeah in the end it it just became
00:13:44
redundant I lost all muscle mass and it
00:13:47
was just redundant just there but did
00:13:49
you still have like um your grip
00:13:51
strength in your wrist and your hand
00:13:53
okay so I lost everything mate okay so
00:13:56
it it was literally red it
00:14:00
was okay but I'm thinking about things
00:14:03
um we can get to this later like things
00:14:05
things that you do now that you know you
00:14:07
people with both hands and both arms
00:14:09
would take for granted like doing up
00:14:10
buttons on your shirt for example yeah
00:14:12
could you use your left hand when you
00:14:13
had that post accident no okay no no I
00:14:16
couldn't do so it was just sort of
00:14:17
ornamental oh it was okay and it was an
00:14:19
ugly ornamental you know it it it wasn't
00:14:22
a nice yeah thing to have sitting there
00:14:25
um but you know I I still carried on
00:14:27
with my life I still went out and done
00:14:29
things but it got to a point where I
00:14:31
could see that
00:14:33
possibly I could go into a different
00:14:37
spiral um what do you mean I I could
00:14:40
have gone down this path of anger yeah
00:14:44
um and being grumpy and being annoyed
00:14:49
and getting
00:14:50
frustrated and I didn't want to go down
00:14:52
that path Dom I really really didn't
00:14:54
want to go down that path I could see
00:14:56
how easy it would be for somebody to
00:14:59
spiral on a downward path so I had to
00:15:02
make a
00:15:03
decision um and it had to be my decision
00:15:06
couldn't be anybody else's so um I
00:15:09
thought you know I want to move on with
00:15:11
my life I don't want to
00:15:13
be I'm stuck in this position where you
00:15:18
know I could
00:15:20
get in a situation that I didn't want to
00:15:23
be negative head space yeah yeah um so
00:15:27
yeah I wanted to move forward with my
00:15:28
life so I had to make a decision and
00:15:30
make so it was I came up with this most
00:15:34
radical stupid
00:15:36
decision um and it just you know it just
00:15:39
felt right I don't yeah I don't know you
00:15:41
say a radical stupid decision I know
00:15:42
you're doing that say that tongue and
00:15:43
cheek but it feels like uh it was
00:15:46
probably the sensible or even the only
00:15:47
decision to make um yeah or no yeah I
00:15:51
mean you know some people wouldn't go to
00:15:53
that extreme you know it was pretty
00:15:55
extreme this decision you know when I
00:15:57
threw it at my husband whoa mate yeah so
00:16:01
you you guys been married like 30 odd
00:16:03
years yeah yeah okay yeah he's my best
00:16:05
mate he's my best mate and he's um yeah
00:16:07
he's got got you you know he's got my
00:16:09
back yeah there's there's no there's no
00:16:10
agenda whatsoever at that point he's got
00:16:12
my back and so you know I threw this
00:16:14
idea and you know I came up with how am
00:16:16
I going to approach this with them you
00:16:19
know because it's a big thing you know
00:16:21
um so I just one day I just said to him
00:16:23
can we sit down and have a talk um and I
00:16:26
just said to him I've made a decision
00:16:29
um and I hope you'll support me but I
00:16:32
said I want it off and he was no not at
00:16:36
all was he why why was that as initial
00:16:38
um I I don't know it was you know CU he
00:16:40
must have had so this was um the
00:16:43
amputation was 2018 so it's like a
00:16:46
couple of years of you you recovering or
00:16:48
trying to recover or dealing with this
00:16:50
um you know useless uh limb that you
00:16:52
called a [ __ ] and a sock
00:16:55
um yeah why why why did why was his was
00:16:58
that is initial reaction it must have
00:16:59
been something that occurred to him over
00:17:01
that time well no I don't think it had I
00:17:03
don't think it had I think I don't know
00:17:06
whether it was because he thought it it
00:17:08
may improve over time I suppose you
00:17:11
always hold out High pay oh for sure
00:17:13
yeah we all do don't we of course we all
00:17:16
hope that you know it's going to be for
00:17:18
the better um but I knew that that
00:17:21
wasn't going to be for the better so I
00:17:23
wanted to make it for the better and the
00:17:25
only way for me to make it better was to
00:17:28
yeah remove it cut the bugger off get
00:17:30
rid of it feed it to the Flaming dogs
00:17:33
you
00:17:34
know you know the dogs are like where
00:17:37
where looks like a sharks already had to
00:17:38
go it okay so owens's so Owen's initial
00:17:41
reaction is no does that come from like
00:17:44
a a a place of Love or concern for you
00:17:48
or I I I honestly believe it was because
00:17:50
you know he loves me yeah um and he was
00:17:52
looking out for me but you know so I had
00:17:55
to sort of coax it around a bit you know
00:17:57
I I did have to coax him around um in
00:18:00
the end I just said to him look it's my
00:18:02
life it's my body um and this is what I
00:18:06
want to do and I said I hope you support
00:18:08
me and he did you know obviously um yeah
00:18:12
he came around and he knew that you know
00:18:14
over time I think he thought about it um
00:18:16
and he knew that it was the right thing
00:18:18
for me to do did you did you guys come
00:18:20
up with like a list of pros and cons or
00:18:21
anything or you know um I actually spoke
00:18:24
to one of my mates and said that because
00:18:26
I didn't talk to a lot of people about
00:18:27
it um because I knew that all be you
00:18:30
know no you can't have that Shar and I
00:18:31
didn't want all those negative reactions
00:18:33
but I did speak to one mate and she said
00:18:35
Shar what you should try doing is tying
00:18:37
your hand behind your back for a week
00:18:39
and see how you go and I thought no if
00:18:42
I'm doing this I'm going in Boots and
00:18:44
all it's just going to happen and you
00:18:46
just got to deal with it then don't you
00:18:49
you know yeah but there's no reversal oh
00:18:51
absolutely not but then you just got to
00:18:53
deal with it oh no wait a minute just I
00:18:56
want the useless arm back yeah yeah so
00:18:59
yeah I found a surgeon um did you need
00:19:01
to did they make you undergo any compost
00:19:03
counseling or anything like that um yeah
00:19:04
I had to do a couple of sessions oh [ __ ]
00:19:06
that's a lot of crap is it you know um
00:19:09
well it's easy I mean um yeah I I had
00:19:12
the same sort of thing mandatory very
00:19:14
very different situation but mandatory
00:19:15
counseling when um me and JJ and my wife
00:19:18
at the time were undergoing fertility
00:19:20
stuff and we were about to use a matate
00:19:21
sperm donor SP and you have like
00:19:23
mandatory counseling but it's it's easy
00:19:25
to say the answers that you know you
00:19:26
should say for sure
00:19:29
very easy to fo them I think I I just
00:19:31
felt like I was just doing a recording
00:19:33
yeah you know it was yes no yeah n yeah
00:19:37
yeah I suppose so yeah it was yeah like
00:19:40
you say I think it's very easy to fool
00:19:42
them not that I was out there to do that
00:19:44
D not at all no no and I'm exactly the
00:19:46
same and it's one of those things got it
00:19:50
feels like tress we have to go through
00:19:51
yeah and like with with my situation
00:19:53
which is very different to yours with
00:19:54
the donor spam thing like I had a couple
00:19:56
of years leading up to that where it's
00:19:57
like this maybe a path we have to go
00:19:59
down so you have time to think about it
00:20:01
same with you I guess you had a lot of
00:20:02
time to think about well I I didn't
00:20:05
really because you know it happened in
00:20:06
December 16 the accident so I only had
00:20:10
that 12 months you know that from
00:20:13
recovering to making a decision to
00:20:15
getting it removed yeah honestly you
00:20:17
know I must have had red flags by my
00:20:19
name because you don't just go into a
00:20:23
surgeon and say that you want to remove
00:20:25
a part of your body and next minute
00:20:27
you're getting done so um I think they
00:20:30
sort of knew that that [ __ ] up
00:20:32
basically and you know okay if this is
00:20:34
what she wants let's let's make this
00:20:36
happen for her um plus I think that my
00:20:39
surgeon um he was fantastic um I still
00:20:43
have a great relationship with him now
00:20:46
um he's done my knees so he's seen quite
00:20:48
a bit of my body you know um and he he's
00:20:52
yeah he's always helped me now he's made
00:20:55
made it made things happen for me so
00:20:57
anyway I saw him and he put me on to
00:21:00
Prof thirston um a guy down a professor
00:21:03
down in Wellington who was um obviously
00:21:07
the man for amputations so I contacted
00:21:10
him and um we had a few emails back and
00:21:13
forth and then next minute I get this
00:21:16
email saying let's make it happen so we
00:21:19
did from there it just evolved so what
00:21:22
what's that
00:21:23
process um like do you do you discuss
00:21:26
where it's going to be cut off or so yes
00:21:28
so we talked about it and discussed it
00:21:30
and um because I was right cut right up
00:21:34
here right up to my elbow basically and
00:21:36
it was a bit of a mess he said we can do
00:21:38
a below elbow Shaz but he said I would
00:21:41
suggest we go above elbow So Below elbow
00:21:44
would make it easier in terms of like um
00:21:46
prosthetic Limbs and and if you see a
00:21:50
lot of arm amputees a lot of them are
00:21:52
below elbow there's not many of us that
00:21:55
are above elbow so we're the special
00:21:57
ones
00:21:59
obviously um but um yeah so we went so
00:22:03
he um amputated it just above the elbow
00:22:07
here yeah so it was as you can see it's
00:22:10
a lot shorter now than what it was um
00:22:12
when we first done it but then after he
00:22:16
amputated we had
00:22:18
complications um and not only do I have
00:22:21
severe phantom pain I have this thing
00:22:24
called CPS which is complex regional
00:22:26
pain syndrome um um and like I said to
00:22:29
you a bit earlier when we're talking
00:22:30
it's like if you've ever peed on an
00:22:33
electric fence you know what it's like
00:22:35
you know you get that full instant
00:22:37
jarring and that shocking well that's
00:22:39
what I have when does that just is that
00:22:42
um sporadically or occasionally or it's
00:22:44
all the time permanently so um it
00:22:47
constantly s of feels like you're being
00:22:48
tattooed say yeah yeah um what you what
00:22:52
do you what do you take for that um so I
00:22:54
I I don't take um I instantly got off
00:22:57
the track tramol and the seol and all
00:22:59
that sort of stuff um and then I've I've
00:23:03
been had some super support people
00:23:05
around me and um we've tried different
00:23:07
things um I went to have been in contact
00:23:10
with a pain specialist Dr Amir up here
00:23:14
um and we've been dealing with him and
00:23:16
my um people down in paly um and we
00:23:21
finally came we've tried different
00:23:23
medications obviously so so I'm just
00:23:26
trying to get my head around something
00:23:26
so post um post accident but
00:23:29
preamputation were you in were you in
00:23:31
pain you had this useless arm I was had
00:23:33
discomfort right had discomfort but I
00:23:36
wouldn't call it
00:23:37
pain um so and then once we um amputated
00:23:41
it obviously the nerves didn't agree
00:23:44
with that because don't forget it was a
00:23:47
massive trauma of being smashed and
00:23:50
broken um you know you've got both bones
00:23:53
completely broken in half snapped in
00:23:55
half so it's a massive trauma it's not
00:23:58
like just a break that a kid has in the
00:24:00
playground you know from falling out of
00:24:02
a tree this was severe um in their terms
00:24:07
um so yeah so that trauma on its own has
00:24:11
fired the
00:24:13
nerves um from instantly from that
00:24:16
trauma so once we had it amputated it's
00:24:21
obviously um elevated that that pain and
00:24:24
the nerve
00:24:26
endings so um um yeah so we we we've had
00:24:31
two further amputations since then um
00:24:34
where I've had awesome surgeon down at
00:24:37
Hut Hospital Dr Bon um he really looked
00:24:40
after me and tried different things so
00:24:42
we went back to surgery another time
00:24:44
this is a couple years later um and he
00:24:49
what he done was he shortened it he
00:24:51
found well he obviously opened up Stumpy
00:24:54
um found the nerves stret scratched them
00:24:58
s them and then he let them go hoping
00:25:02
that the nerve endings would end up
00:25:04
somewhere back up here um so that
00:25:07
there'd be no pressure or nerve endings
00:25:09
down here where I was getting all the
00:25:10
pain um so we were hoping that was going
00:25:12
to happen um and eliminate the pain
00:25:16
unfortunately it didn't so
00:25:19
about a year maybe 18 months later he
00:25:23
tried to have another go and we went
00:25:24
through this whole process of he had
00:25:27
this brain wave of um and this idea that
00:25:30
he had to take to a panel to get it
00:25:32
approved first to go ahead and do this
00:25:35
so I still didn't know if I was going to
00:25:37
have this third amputation or not so
00:25:40
they're just like going higher and yeah
00:25:42
oh god um so we we got the go ahead and
00:25:46
the approval to do this third amputation
00:25:49
and what he done then was once again he
00:25:51
opened up Stumpy found those nerve
00:25:53
endings which had neuromas growing on
00:25:56
the end of them which was causing the
00:25:59
pain um so he once again he stretched
00:26:02
them he um cut them and then removed
00:26:06
those neuromas and then he seed them
00:26:08
again the nerve endings and then what he
00:26:10
done was he drilled straight through my
00:26:12
bone and he's inserted the nerve endings
00:26:15
into my bone so that if the neuromus
00:26:18
grow back again hopefully it won't
00:26:21
penetrate penetrate through the bone um
00:26:24
and that was he said to me Shaz this is
00:26:26
the last thing I can think of doing for
00:26:29
you so you know I've I've had some
00:26:31
awesome team behind me trying to help me
00:26:33
as much as possible with this pain um
00:26:37
unfortunately it hasn't
00:26:38
worked so we're still in pain so
00:26:41
Stumpy's still a prick um yeah I've
00:26:45
heard you um refer to it as stumpy in a
00:26:47
a couple of um podcasts that I've
00:26:49
listened to night why did you why did
00:26:51
you decide to um to name it when when
00:26:53
did that happen did that happen pre the
00:26:55
amputation or I honestly when I first
00:26:58
had the amputation the day of the
00:27:00
surgery I woke up and I looked down and
00:27:04
here was this big fat you know um
00:27:07
bandaged stump um and I just looked down
00:27:11
and I had the biggest smile on my face
00:27:13
Dom I just um and I just looked down and
00:27:17
I said welcome to sh's World Stumpy um
00:27:22
and it's just stuck you know and
00:27:24
honestly I um it was the best decision
00:27:27
of my life absolutely best decision of
00:27:30
my life mate yeah the um the the the
00:27:33
Stumpy thing um the thing that thing I
00:27:35
like about that is uh um you rather than
00:27:39
like mourning what you're losing and
00:27:41
talking about losing your arm you talk
00:27:43
about gaining something new oh
00:27:44
absolutely I don't know I don't know if
00:27:45
that was subconscious or an intentional
00:27:47
thing but it's a way of framing it that
00:27:49
it it was just like you know this is the
00:27:51
start of a New Journey this is going to
00:27:54
be an awesome Journey um and I just
00:27:57
wanted it to be a great journey you know
00:27:59
I wanted it to be a whole new Journey
00:28:02
Stumpy and I were starting over you know
00:28:06
and it was it was a new beginning and
00:28:09
like I say the best freaking decision of
00:28:11
my life Stumpy and Stumpy and Shar on to
00:28:13
it sounds like sounds like some sort of
00:28:16
weird comedy movie that you'd see in
00:28:18
video easy back in the
00:28:21
[Music]
00:28:26
day
00:28:29
m
