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[Music]
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[Music]
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[Music]
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well here we are I'm sitting in the
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lounge with Brad smailer the man the
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myth the legend
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you good to be here hey great to be here
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and finally meet you I've been uh
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friends with you on Instagram for a few
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years now we follow each other
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um your journey I mean I'm not the not
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the person I won't be the last to tell
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you this it's um nothing short of
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inspirational
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thank you yeah that uh that word does
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get thrown my way a lot and uh for a
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while there I almost like didn't have an
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issue with it but it's like when you
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hear the same thing over and over and
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over again it's like you know you kind
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of it almost Waters it down but like at
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the end of the day
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to be to have something like that like a
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word thrown like that in my direction
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all the time it's just you know it's one
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of the one of the better compliments you
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could probably get yeah a lot of people
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are probably wondering like why is this
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guy's a great guess but what's he doing
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on a podcast about you know called
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Runners only but the funny thing is um
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there's this thing called Red Bull Wings
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for life it's a run they have in May
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each year
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um do you want to explain how that works
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it's like it's midnight in New Zealand
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but it's um at the same time all over
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the world right yeah so it's wings for
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life is the spinal cord injury
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Foundation which was started by uh an
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old I think the father of an old
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Motocross rider who was um I think
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friends with uh the head of Red Bull
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um and so they came together and they
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started amongst for life and so the
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wings for life world run as you said
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starts at the same moment in time all
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around the world and
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um so I've been getting involved in that
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and it's it's been really cool the first
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year so two years ago
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uh me and my buddy Jesse and a couple of
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other friends again as you said it's 11
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o'clock at night on a Sunday night in
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New Zealand like New Zealand's probably
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one of the worst places in the world to
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do it
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but Hawaii I think Hawaii is it like two
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or three in the morning
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um
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but yeah so it's it's hard to get people
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into it but so the the first year that I
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did it
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um we went out just from here and went
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up uh ran around Lake pupuke and back
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and um and my friend Jesse was pushing
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me in my manual wheelchair but it was
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absolutely bucketing down with rain and
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it was like fizzle's like oh man like
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are we really gonna have to go out and
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get sucked but I just gotten this new
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raincoat like that's designed for
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wheelchair users and Chuck that on and
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went out and it was just a blast we had
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so much fun
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um and I just loved being out in the
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elements because I'm somewhat like
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I have to be protected from that yeah at
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times like with a wheelchair that could
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crap out if it got too wet
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and this is the difficulty of changing
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clothes and things like that afterwards
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but so then yeah the next year again
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Rebel got a bit more involved here in
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New Zealand
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um because I think they tried to do one
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the year before I did it down at Hampton
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Downs but try getting people to Hampton
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down at 11 o'clock on a Sunday night no
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thanks exactly so
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um so they they joined forces with a run
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Club
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um and yeah we started from I think we
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had over a hundred people maybe 150
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people started from under the Harbor
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Bridge yeah
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um we stayed in there West Haven and we
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ran down and around and
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uh uh I did about 16ks that night uh
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there was two different people pushing
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me one did I think 12 and the other one
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took me for the other four uh one of my
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friends did his first half marathon that
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night just because he was that pumped
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and motivated and you know they see
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right in front of them like someone like
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me and there's um uh this girl Peta
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there and others a few others in
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wheelchairs and we really love to get
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more people in wheelchairs along whether
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they're being pushed or whether they're
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pushing themselves
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um but yeah I think by having us there
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the people who are running it they see
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right in front of them the cause and why
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they're doing it and I think it's so
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powerful so motivating for people to run
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further than they've ever run before
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because there's this that motivation
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right there in front of them so it was
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amazing and uh yeah looking forward to
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this year again and hoping we can get
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more and more people down there yeah I
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love it I'll see you there right oh 100
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it would be an absolute honor to push it
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was this we were talking about the other
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day as well are you when a message
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asking you about the coming on the
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podcast you're like yeah we should do a
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marathon together well you said hey I've
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got something I've got a crazy idea or
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something to ask you and I knew you're
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into your running so I was like oh he's
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going to want to push me for a marathon
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but that wasn't it no no but I totally
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roped you into it I'll gladly do it yeah
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let's do it can we get a lighter chair
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that chair looks really really heavy
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right yeah that one over there oh yeah
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that's the one yeah I've got some speed
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wheels on it and we're good to go yeah
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mate odd bikinis have been absolutely on
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it that's awesome
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now um
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here's here's what I think I think um
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for anybody to go from being able-bodied
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to being a tetraplegic would be um
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particularly hard like a massive
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adjustment but for someone that um
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is you know fully using their body to
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the maximum of its ability like you did
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with your wakeboarding
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um that's got to make it like even
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tougher like a next level
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yeah my physical ability was to me it
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was my identity
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um you know
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I was Brad smile of the wakeboarder you
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know or like even things like modeling
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even other you know little side hustles
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that I did like it was all based around
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my physical ability so it felt like I'd
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lost myself it's actually been a crazy
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ride like
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uh this kind of life coach Guru a woman
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who's been helping me through this whole
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journey she told me early on she's like
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you're not going to believe me but later
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on you're going to look back and you're
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going to be grateful for this whole
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situation I was like there is no way
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absolutely not but now like I am like I
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am more confident in who I am in myself
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now than I was before my accident
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after my accident date a few years of
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you know trying to get everything back
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trying to get the movement back
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everything and then I kind of hit a low
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and because you weren't making the
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progress that you expected exactly yeah
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basically I wanted to get my arms
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working out and they still don't work so
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um I'd hit like an all-time low
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and I kind of learned you know
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breakdowns lead to breakthroughs and I
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kind of realized that okay am I you know
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even if I were to able to get my arms
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moving but it took 20 years
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is 20 years of full-time seven days a
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week rehab worth it for that like
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um or
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am I better off focusing on
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having a better life for you know and
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enjoying the life that I've got rather
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than trying to get the life that I used
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to have back
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um and so basically what that meant it
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basically meant coming from a position
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of gratitude
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um and looking at okay rather than
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trying to get back what I don't have
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it's been grateful and appreciating what
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I do have or rather than getting
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frustrated about all the things that I
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can't do anymore it's like okay what can
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I do and that's really where there was
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this Turning Point
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um where I started going you know out on
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little high Commissions in my wheelchair
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friends pushing me around Trails on the
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white ax and stuff and then
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um and then I was like okay what are
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like if of anything I could still do
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that would give me as much enjoyment as
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anyone else
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what are what are some of those things
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and the two things I came to I was
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skydiving and scuba diving I was like
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the thrill the enjoyment would be the
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exact same
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um
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and I went and spoke to a dive doctor
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and he said no absolutely not I cannot
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give you clearance to scuba dive yeah it
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was kind of a long shot probably but for
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him he was like I can't give you
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clearance but typical me I just tuned
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into that one thing
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breathing Compressed Gas underwater is
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what is you know adding the risk so I'm
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like okay so if I hold my breath I hold
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my breath that's eliminating that risk
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right and he's like
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adding a few others but it's technically
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getting rid of that medical risk
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so then I started practicing holding my
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breath and within
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three or four attempts I beat my
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previous record of three and a half
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minutes
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from before my accident
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and then
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over time I started building up that
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breath hold and I got to like my record
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now is 5 minutes and 45 seconds
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that's insane so so when you were when
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you were doing that
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um you pardoned all my ignorance here
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but like what do you feel like if I hold
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my breath my lungs will start to burn do
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you feel the burn yeah I feel it as well
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I think holding my breath brought me
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progression again which was something
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that was missing in my life after
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wakeboarding
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um it allowed me to push myself we've
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got this amazing Dynamic with my friends
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I've just trust between us because the
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other one's bringing me back up they're
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trusting me to know my limits and give
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the signal when I need to
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oh you you were a big deal on
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whiteboarding but I never heard of you
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as a whiteboard or the first I heard of
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you was um I started seeing things on
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social media better give a little page
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which ended up being like quarter of a
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million bucks then there was a photo
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that went viral of you and your
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girlfriend at the time and she was
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curled up on your beard with you and
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then I read an article about you shortly
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after the accident where you talked
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about um
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um some ancient Hawaiian principles so
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it feels like you've always had this um
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this sort of sense of calm there was
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there was definitely a little bit of
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that beforehand
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um those who know wisdoms were given to
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me by my auntie
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um and I yeah we printed them out and
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stuck them to the ceiling above my
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hospital bed because I was on bed rest a
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lot of the time
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um then because I end up with a pressure
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saw
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go back to New Zealand after three or
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three and a half months in the states
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through icus and spinal units ended up
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having to be on bed rest for two months
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once I got home and so I had that stuck
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a bump above my my bed and
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I mean the
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you know there's some that are that are
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reasonably simple you know the world is
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what you think it is yeah so it's about
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your mindset if you focus on everything
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you know every negative thing in the
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world and you then you're going to think
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the world's a pretty negative Place
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whereas if you focus on you know all the
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positive things and that kind of ties in
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with energy flows where attention goes
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um which is another one and there's you
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know there's seven of them
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so yeah it's there's been a lot that
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I've learned and I just feel like I'm
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so much stronger mentally and
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also I think going back to Susie telling
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me I'd be grateful for this like
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I would have never been able to
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positively affect this many people's
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lives yeah
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absolutely can we go back to um July
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2014
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we can yeah okay so um so you're this um
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Kick-Ass wakeboarder you've done uh is
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it a 1080 which is three 360s which is
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nuts yes I did that when I was in 2008
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right and then right before the injury
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I'd landed the world's first double
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double tantrum to Blind there you go
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what what the [ __ ] does that even mean
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so a tantrum is basically just a
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straight back flip right it's just the
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way you know there's a back roll which
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is kind of like a side to side uh
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rolling flip whereas a tantrum is kind
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of a straight back flip
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um so I did a double ND tantrum so Indie
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grab it's a backhand between the legs on
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the front toe side edge of the board
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and then to blind as we do a backside
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180
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um and the blind meaning you can't
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actually see where you're going when you
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land you're looking backwards so you've
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got your hand behind your back holding
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the rope and you're riding backwards and
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and this was on a mega ramp too which
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was a new part of wakeboarding you know
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usually you crash into the lake or in
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Into The Ocean or the lake
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um so now as you go up a ramp then
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you're flying for a bit and then you're
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down on another round yeah so similar to
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Freestyle Motocross and those sorts of
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sort of setups and so yeah just come off
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big events in Germany where I landed the
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world's first double tension blind
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we all knew it was going to win trick of
00:12:35
the year like even one of my guys I'd
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idolized my entire life like the legend
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of wakeboarding Parks Bonifay was like
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dude that's the craziest trick I've ever
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seen like to have
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that guy telling me that was just like
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it was everything
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um I'd just come off filming for Travis
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Pastrana's um action figures film I did
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a double flip over top of them and
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um and then yeah a week later
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it all went to [ __ ]
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again everything slowed down I had
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enough time to think I was like okay I
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want to do a break fall because I'm
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about to go face first into the ramp a
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little joke I says I don't want to ruin
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my modeling career you know my pretty
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face
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um and then uh yeah and so I was like oh
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tuck and roll tuck my head and shoulders
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under roll out of it um but just the the
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speed in which I was coming in I didn't
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have enough time and I got my head under
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but not my shoulders and basically
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forced my head down into my chest and
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exploded my C4 vertebrae and locked me
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unconscious instantly and I was left
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floating face down in the water and we
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were you um were you knocked out cold
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then or we yeah I was out so they kind
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of pulled me or flipped me over I was
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blue in the face Eyes Wide Open not
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responding not responsive at all
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one of my friends thought I was dead
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um
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and they managed to pull me up onto the
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paddle board I get my sort of upper body
00:14:04
up on it and they were kind of ready to
00:14:06
try and do CPR running there then and
00:14:08
there and again look Joker says I must
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have known deep down that one of my
00:14:12
buddies was about to put his mouth to
00:14:14
mine because I woke up and started
00:14:16
breathing on my own they're great jokes
00:14:17
mother did they take a while or before
00:14:19
you could see the funny side or uh that
00:14:22
kind of came about in my public speaking
00:14:24
because I was talking about it so much
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and and you know it's a very heavy
00:14:28
moment so I like to kind of bring it
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back up a little bit um you know in my
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talks I I always know it's a successful
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talk if I've gotten gasped cheers
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um laughs and tears yeah make them laugh
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make him cry yeah and um
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yeah and they had me on a neck brace on
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a backboard and everything
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call the helicopter and my first
00:14:48
response was don't you call that [ __ ]
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helicopter it's going to be so expensive
00:14:53
because I had no insurance no money like
00:14:56
I was just I just come off my travel
00:14:58
insurance and was just looking into what
00:15:00
insurance I could get over there because
00:15:01
I just got a five-year visa to be there
00:15:03
it's expensive over there if you get
00:15:05
sick in the states and you're not
00:15:06
insured so that's a grim situation last
00:15:08
thing I remember was in the MRI and the
00:15:10
I don't know if you've had an MRI before
00:15:12
but yeah you know they put the
00:15:14
headphones on you and everything and
00:15:15
like okay yeah we're about to get
00:15:17
started it's going to take a little
00:15:18
while you're going to need to stay still
00:15:21
that's all I can [ __ ] do
00:15:25
um and then yeah there's about a week
00:15:27
blank after that
00:15:28
um I was apparently conscious I had a
00:15:30
nine hour surgery to piece of my neck
00:15:32
back together they used a cadaver
00:15:34
vertebrae so a dead person's vertebrae
00:15:37
that donated and put into my neck and
00:15:40
two rods a plate and 14 screws to hold
00:15:43
it all together and um I was put on a
00:15:45
ventilator
00:15:47
my family flew in I don't remember any
00:15:49
of this
00:15:51
um and then the first thing I remember
00:15:52
was actually a hallucination I had and
00:15:55
yeah and then the next morning it was
00:15:57
when I remember like waking up I
00:15:59
actually I didn't know I was in the
00:16:01
hospital
00:16:01
the funny thing is I was my hospital
00:16:04
room was directly across from the um the
00:16:08
nurses uh what do you call it
00:16:11
I like station or when your office yeah
00:16:13
and so they got the coffee machine and
00:16:15
stuff like that there and um so I'm
00:16:17
looking out through the you know I wake
00:16:18
up and I look across and I'm like first
00:16:20
thing smell of fresh coffee
00:16:22
and I like and this the light coming
00:16:24
into the room like just these things
00:16:25
grab me and and the next thing I see
00:16:28
these like a couple of girls and scrubs
00:16:30
and you know and I'm like
00:16:32
I don't remember anything
00:16:33
did I get wasted last night and end up
00:16:36
home with some check who's her and her
00:16:39
mates are all nurses and they're just
00:16:41
getting ready for work and and then she
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walks in and I'm like ready to sit up
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and say hello
00:16:46
can't move can't speak it all just drops
00:16:50
like
00:16:51
hit me like a ton of bricks and um
00:16:54
I mean even then yeah like right now
00:16:56
like I feel it like it takes me back to
00:16:59
that moment and just how heavy it was
00:17:03
um and then you know my mum was that
00:17:04
she'd already flown in but she wasn't
00:17:06
there right at that moment
00:17:08
um she came in a few an hour or so later
00:17:10
and
00:17:11
next thing I'm like Mom I got kidnapped
00:17:13
you know like I'm mouthing it because I
00:17:15
couldn't speak because of the ventilator
00:17:18
um and she's like talking to the nurse
00:17:20
oh he thinks he got kidnapped and I'm
00:17:22
like
00:17:26
yeah so mad at her because I fully
00:17:29
thought it happened
00:17:30
and then um and then yeah and then
00:17:32
everything from then on was just no like
00:17:35
yeah the heaviest what five weeks of my
00:17:39
life there in the ICU
00:17:41
almost died in front of my mum like that
00:17:43
was another heavy moment
00:17:45
um
00:17:47
and yeah and then I got shipped off to
00:17:49
Atlanta to the spinal unit where I spent
00:17:52
another three months and then I was able
00:17:54
to get home so
00:17:55
it was um this is real Grim but in those
00:17:59
early days when the um reality of it
00:18:01
sort of set in within moments where you
00:18:03
wish you died in the water or you 100
00:18:05
yeah
00:18:07
there were moments where I was laying
00:18:08
there on the hospital bed and if I had a
00:18:10
gun up could have put to my head and put
00:18:13
the trigger I would have but or I might
00:18:15
have
00:18:16
and this is this is the fact thing about
00:18:18
it even if you decided to take your own
00:18:20
life you couldn't exactly and the crazy
00:18:22
thing as well is
00:18:24
if I had the ability to pull that
00:18:27
trigger I wouldn't need to I wouldn't
00:18:29
want to
00:18:30
um
00:18:32
yeah so here I am locked in the
00:18:34
situation that I couldn't get out of and
00:18:36
it was it was partially that partially
00:18:38
no other way out like a refusal to give
00:18:41
up but no other way out
00:18:44
and also the community rallying behind
00:18:47
me my friends and family being there
00:18:50
um
00:18:51
the you know
00:18:52
fundraisers started happening all the
00:18:55
messages coming in
00:18:56
all of that sort of stuff just kind of
00:18:58
like made me decide all right screw it
00:19:00
I'm gonna I'm gonna fight this like um
00:19:03
I needed that I needed that fight I
00:19:06
needed that goal I needed something to
00:19:08
work towards and the rehab and stuff and
00:19:11
for a while that's that's definitely
00:19:12
what I needed it was what was keeping me
00:19:14
going and then I got to the point where
00:19:17
uh that was just
00:19:19
you know three years down the track and
00:19:22
the movement wasn't coming back and and
00:19:25
I followed you on Instagram you you
00:19:26
worked bloody hard you you're working
00:19:29
like a second to none I mean if if
00:19:30
anyone could could um get their Mobility
00:19:33
back by by willpower and um and just
00:19:37
through trying it it would be you
00:19:39
so I mean this stuff being worked on but
00:19:42
who knows how long it'll take and I
00:19:44
suppose you I mean you need hope don't
00:19:46
you but you can't
00:19:48
um hold your breath I guess exactly
00:19:50
um I mean finally funny terminology Yeah
00:19:53
well yeah you can yeah five minutes 45.
00:19:57
um but yeah no that's the thing like I'm
00:19:58
definitely
00:19:59
uh confident that there will be a cure
00:20:03
of some sort people think cure and you
00:20:06
kind of think of it in the same way
00:20:07
where people think vaccine they think oh
00:20:09
it means I can't get covered or whatever
00:20:12
the vaccine is for that's not how a
00:20:14
vaccine Works same with the cure for a
00:20:16
spinal cord injury
00:20:17
it's uh
00:20:20
you know it's not like they do whatever
00:20:23
they're going to do and then all of a
00:20:24
sudden I'm out of the chair and running
00:20:26
around again it's not going to happen
00:20:29
um it's you know even like a 20 recovery
00:20:33
is classed as a cure even you know
00:20:36
obviously a cure might come out but it
00:20:39
might be an acute cure that needs to be
00:20:41
done straight after the injury that
00:20:43
doesn't help me
00:20:44
um it may help if there's a procedure
00:20:46
that needs doing that then we'll use
00:20:48
that to protect any further damage from
00:20:50
happening
00:20:51
um but yeah it's it's interesting some
00:20:54
I'm hopeful I'm uh positive that there
00:20:58
will be something but I'm not living my
00:20:59
life hanging on a threat that's what's
00:21:02
going to bring me my happiness and my
00:21:03
joy in life back are you mostly happy
00:21:06
more happy days than sad days yeah from
00:21:09
day one after the accident every day was
00:21:10
miserable and after the first year it
00:21:12
was like maybe one or two days a week
00:21:14
when miserable and then I got to the
00:21:16
point where it's
00:21:18
there'll be occasionally like things
00:21:20
will affect me even things like jealousy
00:21:21
yeah I've got such a good understanding
00:21:24
of it now that the instinctual reaction
00:21:26
hits and it's almost like I've got this
00:21:28
notification on my head that goes ping
00:21:30
you know what this is all about you know
00:21:33
this is an ugly emotion uh what other
00:21:35
people have has nothing to do with what
00:21:37
you have all these sorts of things all
00:21:39
these reminders just go straight through
00:21:40
and I'm like okay I'm not jealous
00:21:42
anymore I'm not affected by that anymore
00:21:44
and that only came through years of work
00:21:47
that every time that would come up
00:21:50
rather than pushing it aside I would sit
00:21:52
with it
00:21:53
um and there's this analogy that I use
00:21:56
and I've kind of stolen a well-known
00:21:58
analogy and I've added to it the one
00:22:02
where you talk about all your stresses
00:22:04
and
00:22:05
troubles and worries in life if you
00:22:07
imagine them as a glass of water that
00:22:09
you know you hold it for a minute it's
00:22:10
fine hold on to it for an hour or so you
00:22:13
get a sore arm hold on to it all day you
00:22:16
probably won't be able to lift your arm
00:22:17
and it'll feel almost paralyzed and
00:22:20
that's the same way that you know if we
00:22:21
hold on to these things for too long
00:22:24
they affect us on that really
00:22:26
um you know on that sort of a level like
00:22:28
our stresses and worries can almost
00:22:31
become
00:22:33
um paralyzing and stopping us from doing
00:22:36
things in our life
00:22:38
and I um
00:22:42
I got to the point where
00:22:44
so you know we we take that analogy and
00:22:46
it's like okay well
00:22:48
that one usually finishes with like oh
00:22:51
well if you if you put those you know
00:22:54
it's basically the longer you hold it
00:22:56
the the more it affects you yeah so okay
00:22:59
will you either put it down somewhere or
00:23:02
you let it go
00:23:03
if you let it go it smashes on the
00:23:05
ground leaves a mess to clean up later
00:23:07
if you put it down you still haven't
00:23:09
addressed them they just you've just put
00:23:10
them to the side
00:23:12
the analogy I use now is okay you've got
00:23:14
a glass of water
00:23:16
how can you benefit from a glass of
00:23:17
water
00:23:18
you [ __ ] drink it right you know you
00:23:21
absorb it your body benefits from it so
00:23:23
if you take those same stresses and
00:23:25
worries and everything that hits you
00:23:27
emotions and if you sit with them and
00:23:30
you drink them and you let your body
00:23:31
process them
00:23:33
um then over time you learn to work
00:23:38
through those better you understand them
00:23:40
better and you can benefit from that
00:23:43
glass of water the weight of that glass
00:23:45
of water which
00:23:46
is seen as a bad thing now it's a
00:23:49
positive yeah so if we take
00:23:51
everything else in that same way and in
00:23:54
our Mental Health
00:23:56
and again it does take some struggles
00:23:59
I had someone I was working with on it
00:24:02
you know like a counselor type person or
00:24:05
a therapist
00:24:06
um which was Susie
00:24:08
um
00:24:09
and
00:24:10
yeah so that's the thing a don't be
00:24:13
afraid to get help B don't push things
00:24:16
aside we've got to learn to work through
00:24:18
them
00:24:18
um because that's how we end up uh
00:24:21
better off because of it can we can we
00:24:23
talk about the day-to-day life of um
00:24:25
being Brad yeah well I mean even then
00:24:28
you know we just have to pause for a
00:24:29
second because I've had some pain issues
00:24:31
that I've been dealing with for months
00:24:34
now I'm just lower abdomen painants
00:24:36
people will be like hey aren't you
00:24:37
paralyzed and you can't feel anything
00:24:39
below the level of injuring it's like
00:24:40
well
00:24:41
again this is another thing that's
00:24:43
different for everyone some people feel
00:24:45
nothing below the level of injury I feel
00:24:47
nothing on the outside like skin
00:24:49
sensation touch there's a little bit
00:24:51
there like
00:24:53
um temperature I can feel it slightly
00:24:56
um but on the inside I feel everything
00:24:57
and and I've got constant nerve pain so
00:25:00
chronic pain it's basically like a
00:25:03
version of pins and needles which feels
00:25:04
like a freezing cold burning sensation
00:25:06
constantly 24 7. so you got all the bad
00:25:09
and none of the good exactly but at the
00:25:11
same time it's the way you look at it
00:25:13
like
00:25:13
would I rather my spinal cord injuries
00:25:16
that bad that I feel nothing at all or
00:25:18
maybe feeling a little bit of pain is
00:25:20
maybe a good thing it's maybe there are
00:25:22
signals getting through so yeah then you
00:25:24
can do something about it yeah but
00:25:25
anyway so I've been dealing with these
00:25:27
these gut pains and they're sort of
00:25:28
undiagnosed we've looked into everything
00:25:30
we could and um so we've still got some
00:25:33
more research to do there but
00:25:36
um you're just dealing with pain
00:25:38
um
00:25:39
one thing I've learned
00:25:41
through having to deal with pain and
00:25:43
especially when it gets really intense
00:25:46
you know there'll be time to allow get
00:25:48
like a severe bladder infection and
00:25:50
gives me what's called the rigors which
00:25:52
is like this uncontrollable Shivers
00:25:54
because my muscles above my level of
00:25:57
injury which is sort of like if you draw
00:25:58
a line across my chest just above nipple
00:26:00
line
00:26:01
and that's sort of where my feeling
00:26:03
stops
00:26:04
um
00:26:06
and movements as well so all of a sudden
00:26:08
the only things that are moving on my
00:26:10
shoulders and upper traps and my jaw and
00:26:12
I'm just shivering and
00:26:14
it doesn't stop until I get to hospital
00:26:15
and get the right pain relief
00:26:18
and when that starts it's one thing I've
00:26:20
realized and it's sort of another
00:26:22
analogy that I like to use is um
00:26:25
I find myself getting really
00:26:26
short-tempered
00:26:28
um you know I have no tolerance I'm like
00:26:30
just [ __ ] get me there now like if
00:26:33
they're fluffing around I'm just like I
00:26:34
lose it
00:26:36
and I'm getting better at dealing with
00:26:37
that but in those painful situations
00:26:39
like patience tolerance all that goes
00:26:42
out the window yeah well I think that's
00:26:44
the same with most people though right
00:26:45
yeah yeah but then the analogy I like to
00:26:48
use or the comparison is like
00:26:51
you know mental pain can be
00:26:54
just as as bad as as physical pain and
00:26:58
someone who may be
00:27:00
you know going through some [ __ ] that we
00:27:03
don't realize that's on the inside but
00:27:05
like there may be Snappy they may be
00:27:07
intolerant there may be this or that and
00:27:09
if you don't know what's going on you
00:27:11
just may think they're a dick yeah if
00:27:14
you actually knew what's going on in
00:27:15
their life like that that inner pain
00:27:17
that that mental pain
00:27:20
can really affect people just as as
00:27:23
heavily in terms of the way they act and
00:27:25
the way they respond and stuff and they
00:27:28
might bite back on something but it's
00:27:29
you know even after like lockdown
00:27:31
everyone's just dealing with everyone's
00:27:34
stressed everyone's over it and like you
00:27:37
know even interactions on Facebook or
00:27:39
people are like biting back at each
00:27:41
other and it's like it all just gets out
00:27:43
of hand because people are struggling
00:27:44
that's what it comes down to yeah to
00:27:47
really understand that means we can be
00:27:49
more tolerant with those sorts of people
00:27:50
and what what they're going through so
00:27:52
again that goes back to that you know
00:27:56
um putting yourself in someone's shoes
00:27:58
um things so
00:28:00
yeah it's just
00:28:01
again I try to learn from all these
00:28:03
experiences that I go through as
00:28:05
negative as there may be there can be a
00:28:07
positive that comes out of it and I
00:28:09
think that's something that
00:28:11
the more people learn that and the more
00:28:14
that they understand that
00:28:16
oh you'd probably have read this one
00:28:19
before but the uh the old Chinese
00:28:22
proverb maybe what's that one
00:28:25
so there's this farmer and he goes out
00:28:27
and he's tending the fields and is uh
00:28:29
his horse runs away so that evening you
00:28:32
know as neighbors and community and
00:28:34
stuff that come around they're like oh
00:28:35
that's so terrible
00:28:36
Farmers like maybe
00:28:38
next day out in the field and the horse
00:28:42
runs back and he's got seven wild horses
00:28:45
with it and like that evening everyone
00:28:47
comes in oh my God this is so amazing
00:28:49
what great Fortune maybe I was like
00:28:51
maybe and then the next day you know the
00:28:54
farmer and his son are out in the field
00:28:55
and they're trying to break the horses
00:28:57
and the sun gets bucked off the horse
00:28:58
breaks his leg oh that's so terrible
00:29:01
what what Misfortune maybe maybe yeah
00:29:04
next you know next day or a week later
00:29:06
or whatever
00:29:07
War breaks out and they come around
00:29:09
drafting people for the war and the sun
00:29:11
obviously can't go to war because he's
00:29:14
broken his leg and it was such great
00:29:16
Fortune again maybe and you could keep
00:29:19
going with it maybe the sun would have
00:29:20
gone to war and been a war hero maybe he
00:29:22
would have gone and died you know like
00:29:24
the point is things happen and we put
00:29:29
a certain amount of belief or certain
00:29:31
amount of
00:29:33
we put like a meaning to it that hasn't
00:29:36
happened yet so something may happen and
00:29:39
we just think it's immediately bad but
00:29:42
in the long run it may turn out to be
00:29:44
the best thing unless it hasn't yes
00:29:45
absolutely
00:29:46
um so I think that's another thing to
00:29:49
to not project too far into the future
00:29:53
um to remain present to
00:29:55
yeah it's another anything we're
00:29:57
projecting into the future any beliefs
00:29:59
that we think oh this will mean that
00:30:02
it's [ __ ] until it happens
00:30:04
um so I think that's a really good thing
00:30:06
for people to take on is to understand
00:30:08
that
00:30:10
um yeah we just
00:30:12
we never know what things might lead to
00:30:13
I mean you're excuse me your burden's
00:30:16
been um bigger than what most of us will
00:30:18
ever have to go through I mean everyone
00:30:20
goes through [ __ ] though at some point
00:30:22
you know some sort of degree are there
00:30:25
any um like books that you you swear by
00:30:27
highly recommend
00:30:28
the one that really got me
00:30:32
um after the accident I I didn't read
00:30:34
many books before my accident I wasn't
00:30:37
really into that
00:30:38
um
00:30:39
but the one that really stuck with me
00:30:41
was way of the Peaceful Warrior
00:30:45
um and there's some amazing quotes in
00:30:47
that one that I really love is around uh
00:30:50
you know the idea around like a person
00:30:54
who is Rich you know in terms of wealth
00:30:58
um it's a quote that I use a lot and so
00:31:01
leading into it you know the guy asks is
00:31:05
Socrates I think they call them he calls
00:31:07
them and
00:31:09
um he's you know
00:31:11
something about you know what is a
00:31:13
wealthy man
00:31:14
um
00:31:15
and he's basically says you know a rich
00:31:18
man is someone who can afford to buy all
00:31:22
of his desires pay for all of his
00:31:23
desires
00:31:24
and there are two ways to go about that
00:31:26
you can earn steal big borrow inherit
00:31:32
enough money to pay for all of your
00:31:34
desires or you can cultivate a lifestyle
00:31:38
of few desires a simple life
00:31:41
um which means you don't need the money
00:31:44
or to pay for it both ways you're a rich
00:31:47
man right because you can afford
00:31:49
everything that you desire so suggesting
00:31:51
your mindset so you actually want less
00:31:53
exactly it's like what what do you have
00:31:55
control of in that situation like sure
00:31:57
you can go out and earn money and stuff
00:31:59
but you've got more control of what you
00:32:02
know what your desires are and what your
00:32:04
beliefs are around what makes someone
00:32:06
successful and what doesn't and so the
00:32:09
quote that I love to use is um
00:32:12
is what comes after that and it's
00:32:13
basically I'm trying to think you know
00:32:15
I'm just drawing a mind blank uh
00:32:18
the secret to happiness you see is not
00:32:21
found in seeking more but in developing
00:32:23
the capacity to enjoy less
00:32:26
and at first I was like how does
00:32:28
enjoying less mean
00:32:30
you know having more kind of thing
00:32:33
uh and it's not about
00:32:37
you know enjoying lessons about the our
00:32:40
capacity you could still have just as
00:32:42
much as you have in terms of material
00:32:43
positions but if you've
00:32:46
basically adjusted Your Capacity to
00:32:49
enjoy then yeah you can
00:32:52
you can enjoy a moment with some friends
00:32:55
playing cards as opposed to like
00:32:57
thinking that you need to be out
00:32:59
partying and clubbing drinking and
00:33:01
paying for this and buying that you know
00:33:03
it's it's just adjusting our belief on
00:33:06
what enjoyment is absolutely wealth is
00:33:09
yeah things like that so
00:33:11
um that's a book I recommend another one
00:33:13
uh Tuesdays with Mari it was quite good
00:33:16
um basically it's a
00:33:20
and he's got all these life lessons I
00:33:23
thought that was really good I read
00:33:25
Andre agassi's open that was a really
00:33:28
good one for helping me learn to write
00:33:30
my book
00:33:31
um and then I've also read Scott's issue
00:33:33
those are nine books I've read since my
00:33:35
accident yes
00:33:36
that's a random one Scott's history was
00:33:39
great because I needed to learn how to
00:33:40
write about sex drugs and partying in a
00:33:43
tasteful way right is there a bit of
00:33:44
that I oh of course man right my book is
00:33:47
raw it's everything that's amazing was
00:33:49
this was this is this pre-accident or
00:33:51
post accident both amazing yeah you
00:33:53
still get on it now with your mates yeah
00:33:55
yeah everything
00:33:56
um
00:33:57
yeah and just everything around
00:34:00
um
00:34:00
yeah around just trying to like write
00:34:02
because I want my story to be
00:34:05
as authentic as possible I want people
00:34:08
to think I was this angel that didn't do
00:34:10
this or that like didn't have any
00:34:12
negative things you know I mean there
00:34:13
are things in my life that I did
00:34:15
that a lot of people would you know
00:34:17
would view as as negatives or bad things
00:34:20
that I would have done but it was just
00:34:21
what I needed to do in this situation
00:34:24
you know even yeah just there's a lot in
00:34:28
there
00:34:29
um I'll let you guys read it I won't go
00:34:31
into it it's gonna be one hell of a book
00:34:32
and I'll tell you what no one could
00:34:34
begrudge you that like uh you know take
00:34:36
take some taking some drugs away okay
00:34:39
you know to make you feel temporarily
00:34:42
happy yeah you deserve it yeah I mean
00:34:45
honestly since my accident I have done
00:34:47
much haven't done much in the way of
00:34:49
drugs
00:34:50
um not to the extent I did before Max
00:34:52
and even before mics and like I wasn't
00:34:54
out there but he's shooting up heroin or
00:34:56
anything
00:34:58
um you know I was pretty pretty balanced
00:35:00
with it I think and um
00:35:03
but on that
00:35:05
um just thinking the book in general I
00:35:07
know this will come out way before the
00:35:09
book does if anyone has any title ideas
00:35:11
that'd be great send them my way I'm
00:35:14
still struggling to come up with a title
00:35:16
I've got a few ideas what are you
00:35:17
working on at the moment
00:35:19
uh just playing her like you know around
00:35:21
the ideas of you know crossing over with
00:35:24
wakeboarding but just life in general
00:35:25
like something like
00:35:27
you know like a hell of a ride or what a
00:35:30
ride and you know along for the ride
00:35:31
like and but then there's other ones
00:35:33
like
00:35:33
you know even the word awake you know
00:35:35
obviously wakeboarding but then also
00:35:37
like the way because and what was left
00:35:38
behind us right after the accident you
00:35:41
know the Wake that came from that um
00:35:44
and yeah there's there's a few other
00:35:46
ideas we're playing with
00:35:48
um you know there's some amazing titles
00:35:49
of books that that I really love like a
00:35:52
book I'm reading at the moment Man's
00:35:53
Search for meaning oh that is um yeah
00:35:56
that'll be my top pick Victor Frankel
00:35:58
incredible so I've just started that and
00:36:01
um
00:36:01
there's another one I saw it was about
00:36:03
um the Isle of Man racing uh was a good
00:36:07
dead men don't don't tell no Tales or
00:36:09
something like that
00:36:10
see there's some cool titles I'm drawing
00:36:13
inspiration from but I haven't hit that
00:36:15
one that just hit the nail yeah you'll
00:36:17
know it when it comes yeah yeah that's
00:36:18
going to be one hell of a book mate
00:36:20
that's gonna be really good it's been
00:36:22
it's been years years and years of work
00:36:25
um and I honestly
00:36:28
the way I like I like to sort of liken
00:36:30
it to is you know before my accident I
00:36:32
you know for the two years before the
00:36:34
accident I was
00:36:35
managing uh Lake erotics which is my
00:36:38
board sponsor who's our team's private
00:36:40
training facility
00:36:42
and um
00:36:44
I was doing a lot of the building a lot
00:36:46
of the Hands-On stuff my dad was a
00:36:47
builder so I learned a lot of that as I
00:36:49
was growing up and we're out building
00:36:51
all these ramps and rails and we built
00:36:52
the mega ramp that I broke my neck on
00:36:54
and you know all these things and
00:36:57
always after building this you know on a
00:37:00
building project and you stand back
00:37:01
afterwards you've got some really you
00:37:04
know something tangible to be proud of
00:37:07
yeah but I think this book is going to
00:37:09
be the biggest thing I've built the
00:37:11
thing that I can be the most proud of
00:37:13
and gives me that same feeling of you
00:37:17
know physically Hands-On building that I
00:37:19
had before the accident so
00:37:21
yeah it's really cool I'm I'm proud of
00:37:23
it already it hasn't come out yet I know
00:37:26
um I'd imagine I have a really good
00:37:28
response I'm a little bit like like have
00:37:31
I gone to Roar in terms of revealing too
00:37:33
much about myself but at the end of the
00:37:36
day it's it's what's real and I think
00:37:37
that will allow people to connect on a
00:37:40
deeper level and go hey this guy's truly
00:37:42
human and someone who I can actually
00:37:44
relate to
00:37:46
um on certain levels so and you you
00:37:48
wrote you've written every single word
00:37:50
yourself you haven't been like dictating
00:37:52
to an editor or anything you've done it
00:37:53
with the some like stylus pen that's
00:37:55
built into your into your chair yeah so
00:37:57
it's a basically a stylus a long stylist
00:37:59
that I hold on my mouth and I have my
00:38:01
phone mounted in front of me and
00:38:03
type away I use an iPad for a while
00:38:06
there but the key the keyboard's bigger
00:38:08
on iPad so it's a bigger movement for me
00:38:10
with my head and neck
00:38:12
um so I've mainly done it on my phone
00:38:14
and
00:38:16
into that um so we so writing it in
00:38:19
first person present tense so people are
00:38:21
in my shoes while uh reading it but not
00:38:23
being an author myself like I don't know
00:38:26
how to craft a book from start to finish
00:38:29
properly I just of course you know it's
00:38:31
your story well no no in terms of like I
00:38:33
know how to write and I turns out I'm
00:38:35
actually pretty decent at writing in
00:38:38
terms of being descriptive and you know
00:38:40
using different metaphors and similes
00:38:42
and um
00:38:44
but in terms of actually crafting the
00:38:48
book from start to finish you know
00:38:49
making sure all the the overarching
00:38:51
themes are intertwined and at the right
00:38:53
places and what actually is really
00:38:55
relevant and needs to be in there and
00:38:57
what doesn't and so when I finish
00:39:00
writing I basically got to close to half
00:39:03
a million Words which is the longest
00:39:05
manuscript my publisher had ever
00:39:07
received it's bigger than bigger than
00:39:09
the history of New Zealand it's it's
00:39:11
insane
00:39:12
um but you know I there was just so much
00:39:14
that I wanted to get down and I wanted
00:39:16
to give my editor the full story so she
00:39:19
could
00:39:19
Whittle it down and condense it a bit
00:39:22
into what was really relevant
00:39:24
and there's been a bit of push back and
00:39:26
forth you know some stories I think that
00:39:28
I was really excited about and really
00:39:30
wanted in there but she's like oh they
00:39:32
don't really add to what the whole point
00:39:33
of the story is and we're trying to get
00:39:35
rid of words and
00:39:37
um so we're trying to get to under 200
00:39:40
000 words and um
00:39:42
and yeah it's been an interesting
00:39:43
process uh you're about we're about
00:39:45
halfway through the the main Edis at the
00:39:48
moment and
00:39:49
there's a lot to do after that I mean
00:39:51
you know yourself the process of writing
00:39:53
a book and editing and everything and
00:39:54
yeah I think I'm lazier than you because
00:39:57
um when I and my books were done with
00:39:59
the same Publishers but when I got the
00:40:01
contract it was like 70 to 90 000 words
00:40:04
um so I'd uh type a paragraph then check
00:40:06
the word count and as soon as it got to
00:40:08
70 000 I was like popping champagne
00:40:10
you're on a half a million and you're
00:40:11
doing it with that with that stylus in
00:40:13
your mouth they um they they sent me the
00:40:15
same contract yeah like 80 to 100 000
00:40:18
words or something like that and I was
00:40:20
like once I blew past 100 000 words okay
00:40:22
so that was what you wanted but what can
00:40:26
we push out to you know and
00:40:29
um and it's worth mentioning like with
00:40:30
your your Advance which is a patterns
00:40:32
anyway you're not getting any extra
00:40:33
money for the extra words you're right
00:40:34
no no exactly um so it was yeah it was
00:40:39
more about just you know getting the
00:40:41
full story out
00:40:42
um I suppose I could have done it in a
00:40:45
shorter way but just the way of it being
00:40:47
in first person present tent makes it
00:40:49
really hard to
00:40:51
like summarize yeah like a whole month
00:40:54
you can summarize and like even you know
00:40:57
a few paragraphs whereas if you're in
00:40:59
the moment and you're like walking
00:41:01
through those days and weeks and stuff
00:41:03
it does take uh take a lot longer to
00:41:06
write it out and that's you know you
00:41:07
mentioned like that I didn't dictate it
00:41:09
and people ask why I didn't do that and
00:41:11
it's it is quite hard to like having my
00:41:15
brain working in first person present
00:41:17
tense and
00:41:18
uh the speed at which my brain works
00:41:21
versus how my mouth Works in dictating
00:41:23
you know vocally
00:41:25
uh they weren't matching up and also
00:41:29
when I dictate you know it makes
00:41:31
mistakes and it takes almost just as
00:41:33
much time to go back and fix them all as
00:41:35
if I'd written it myself and the one
00:41:37
thing though which is just the absolute
00:41:40
godsend
00:41:41
when uh when Apple when iPhones went to
00:41:45
um
00:41:46
added the old swipe to text rather than
00:41:48
just tapping oh rather yeah right right
00:41:50
so you can just like swap across yeah
00:41:52
like tapping and using my mouth I was
00:41:54
basically like a woodpecker pecking at
00:41:57
this phone trying to tap the buttons
00:41:58
whereas then like it at least doubled my
00:42:01
word count like I think I'm at like a 65
00:42:04
words a minute
00:42:06
um
00:42:07
that's insane that's that's that's
00:42:09
that's not the speed at which I wrote my
00:42:11
book because I was having to think a lot
00:42:13
sure that was me writing the quick brown
00:42:14
fox jumps over the lazy dog over and
00:42:16
over and over again
00:42:17
um just seeing how fast you could go
00:42:19
exactly and so yeah by swipe to text it
00:42:22
just meant like I'm just moving my head
00:42:23
side to side rather than picking up the
00:42:25
phone so it's amazing technology how
00:42:28
long did it take you to get used to the
00:42:30
the stylus and the mouth thing yeah when
00:42:31
you first gave it to me I was like get
00:42:32
this [ __ ] thing away from me it must
00:42:34
have been so frustrating never ever
00:42:36
gonna use that not and uh and then so
00:42:39
throughout the time in the spinal unit
00:42:40
in the states uh was when I started to
00:42:43
work on it and
00:42:45
um
00:42:46
and yeah it's I get a sore after a while
00:42:48
like holding on to that thing throughout
00:42:50
the day especially when I was writing
00:42:52
the whole book
00:42:53
um
00:42:54
but yeah it didn't take that long once I
00:42:57
actually decided okay I'm gonna do this
00:42:58
because that's the option yeah and I
00:43:01
wanted that Independence and to be
00:43:02
honest me and Siri didn't get along very
00:43:04
well my voice like vocally trying to
00:43:07
text with Siri oh my God like it just it
00:43:11
got to the point where we just yeah we
00:43:12
didn't get along so I needed that
00:43:15
independence of having my phone in front
00:43:17
of me and and that is most of my
00:43:18
Independence yeah through technology
00:43:20
absolutely
00:43:21
um you know I've got caregivers looking
00:43:24
after me and doing everything for me and
00:43:26
that in itself is a you know a big test
00:43:28
and tolerance and different programming
00:43:30
the way I'm wired versus the way they're
00:43:32
wired and what they think Health
00:43:33
something should be done and how I think
00:43:35
it should be done often very different I
00:43:38
can imagine I mean you you stripe as
00:43:40
being like um you're fiercely
00:43:41
independent and also uh I mean you don't
00:43:44
get to do the stuff that you did on a
00:43:45
wakeboard without you being a
00:43:47
perfectionist in an A type so you
00:43:49
obviously like having things done a
00:43:50
certain way that's got to be it's going
00:43:52
to be one of the hard things I'd imagine
00:43:53
totally um but you know it's been
00:43:55
amazing finding
00:43:57
things that I can do and you know I've
00:43:59
accepted the fact that I need help with
00:44:01
most things
00:44:03
but yeah even leading back into looping
00:44:05
back around into the um
00:44:07
the freediving side of things that I've
00:44:09
been doing
00:44:10
sorry excuse me
00:44:11
um
00:44:12
yeah and like obviously I mentioned
00:44:15
earlier it's this really cool thing me
00:44:17
and my friends have and
00:44:19
um
00:44:21
I just it became something that like
00:44:23
okay this is what I can do this is what
00:44:25
I can really focus on
00:44:27
and there's this
00:44:29
amazing full circle thing which happens
00:44:33
um and I include this in the book as
00:44:35
well but
00:44:36
after the accident you know as you
00:44:38
mentioned earlier um and you you even
00:44:40
said it yourself like I was in the
00:44:41
situation where even if I wanted to kill
00:44:43
myself I couldn't yeah
00:44:45
so in my head even though like by this
00:44:48
point I was well beyond
00:44:50
um any thoughts of actually wanting to
00:44:53
do it yeah because even in the moment I
00:44:55
think right up after I woke up and
00:44:57
realized what had happened
00:44:59
I don't think I would have actually
00:45:01
wanted to know I don't think that's part
00:45:02
of me
00:45:05
um but
00:45:07
there was always this thought in the
00:45:09
back of my head because I couldn't it's
00:45:11
like okay if I could or if I wanted to
00:45:13
how
00:45:14
and my thought was okay I would drive my
00:45:17
wheelchair off the end of a wharf or
00:45:19
into a swim deep swimming pool
00:45:21
and that'd be my way to go
00:45:23
crazy thing now is like through the
00:45:25
freediving the bottom of that swimming
00:45:27
pool is where I found passion for life
00:45:28
right right so the most out there full
00:45:31
circle moment but I was sitting there at
00:45:34
the bottom of the Olympic pools in
00:45:35
Newmarket four and a half meters down
00:45:37
for like I think the first couple times
00:45:39
I did it I think I got close to five got
00:45:41
up around five minutes
00:45:43
and I'd never experienced well not since
00:45:46
being able to wakeboard like that was my
00:45:49
that was my Escape that was my
00:45:51
meditation that was my like
00:45:54
um what do you call it when you're
00:45:56
when you're in the zone oh there's a
00:45:58
there's a flow State yeah being fully in
00:46:01
the moment that was it for me that was
00:46:03
that was uh everything and
00:46:06
since the accident I hadn't had that at
00:46:08
all hadn't been able to find that but at
00:46:10
the bottom of that pool was where
00:46:12
everything just disappeared all that all
00:46:15
the thoughts of past and present and
00:46:17
future and fears and beliefs and
00:46:21
all that [ __ ] I'm just I was sitting
00:46:23
there in the moment and
00:46:24
it was just
00:46:26
it was unbelievable to have that and to
00:46:28
be able to share that with my friends
00:46:29
and I know my mum and I think that time
00:46:32
my mum and dad were sitting poolside
00:46:34
obviously stressing out you know my mum
00:46:37
right like yeah when it gets the five
00:46:40
five your son's been underwater for five
00:46:41
minutes yeah that can't be easy yeah and
00:46:44
so um but you know to come up after that
00:46:46
time in the bottle of the bottom of the
00:46:48
pole me and my friends all hurting
00:46:51
hollering like just smile beaming across
00:46:53
my face like
00:46:55
and that's where my mom realized like as
00:46:57
well because obviously she would have
00:46:59
her fears around that but
00:47:01
for her she's like [ __ ] okay my son's
00:47:04
found something that actually truly
00:47:07
makes him happy again
00:47:09
um and
00:47:11
that was really bad because mum's a
00:47:13
little hesitant you know his mum's eye
00:47:14
you know they're protective and stuff
00:47:17
but um yeah she knows that obviously the
00:47:20
way I'm programmed the way I like to
00:47:23
live life like I need you like this so
00:47:26
um and at the end of the day like I know
00:47:28
there are risks and
00:47:30
but like I had a friend who
00:47:34
you know I could drown free diving I
00:47:36
could be out somewhere and get eaten by
00:47:38
a shark at the end of the day but before
00:47:40
you learn about control like if I'm down
00:47:42
there in a shark decides to eat me I I
00:47:44
can't do anything about it yeah so why
00:47:47
would I freak out why would I do
00:47:49
anything
00:47:51
because yeah that's completely out of my
00:47:54
control
00:47:55
um
00:47:56
but yeah even if I could you know I
00:47:59
could drown anything like that
00:48:01
but
00:48:02
just as easily I could die from an
00:48:05
infection
00:48:06
uh a guy who was a tandem skydive
00:48:10
instructor in the states
00:48:12
he had his injury about the same time as
00:48:14
me and we ended up in the same spinal
00:48:15
unit similar age uh same level injury
00:48:20
and yeah we got along really well and it
00:48:23
didn't from the states
00:48:25
and um we lost touch a little bit over
00:48:28
the years and then
00:48:29
um I Heard news that he had died from an
00:48:31
infection
00:48:32
and that was right around the time when
00:48:34
I was starting to get into this and I
00:48:35
was like that right there
00:48:38
like solidifies exactly why I'm doing
00:48:41
this
00:48:42
um because yeah that that's the reality
00:48:45
like and I've
00:48:47
I've
00:48:49
what's the word I've accepted my own
00:48:51
mortality I've
00:48:53
I know that my injury means I have a
00:48:56
shorter life expectancy than most it
00:48:57
doesn't but how much what's it reduced
00:48:59
by uh they didn't really put any numbers
00:49:01
on it but just say because you're unable
00:49:04
to like exercise or get movement or
00:49:06
respiratory stuff mainly okay right um I
00:49:09
can't cough well I can
00:49:11
like it's a pretty pitiful because I
00:49:14
don't know even if you would head
00:49:15
covered I wouldn't get it from here I'm
00:49:16
like a meter and a half away from me
00:49:19
um but like yeah so I don't have the ab
00:49:21
strength to squeeze the diaphragm and
00:49:22
push the air out and so if I get a chest
00:49:25
infection like that's quite dangerous
00:49:26
obviously covert especially the earlier
00:49:29
versions um I guess apparently not so
00:49:32
yeah uh effective on the lungs but yeah
00:49:35
so
00:49:36
that's all the stuff I've come to terms
00:49:39
with in the place and everything so I I
00:49:41
actually
00:49:43
this is kind of what it comes down to
00:49:45
for me is I don't fear death I fear not
00:49:48
living
00:49:51
and that you know those are two very
00:49:52
different things it's like a line
00:49:54
there's a Pink Floyd song called wish
00:49:56
you were here and talks about um
00:49:57
exchanging a walk-on part in the war for
00:49:59
a lead role in a cage so that's the same
00:50:01
thing I love that song I used to play
00:50:02
that on the guitar that's uh
00:50:04
yeah that's like besides wakeboarding in
00:50:06
fact I would put that above wakeboarding
00:50:08
if I could have the guitar back like
00:50:09
that would be
00:50:10
just yeah so much but um
00:50:13
yeah it's just one of those things like
00:50:16
we we learn from experiences and
00:50:18
everything we go through and that's
00:50:20
there are a lot of things a lot of very
00:50:22
confronting things that I had to work
00:50:24
through and that being one of them you
00:50:26
know my own mortality and so
00:50:28
it's like why would I not go out and
00:50:31
just have this epic time with my friends
00:50:33
just because there's a risk of dying
00:50:35
when there's a risk of dying every day
00:50:37
or
00:50:38
you know it's just part of my life so it
00:50:41
seems like you've got a good crew as
00:50:42
well um there's um
00:50:44
I don't know when when [ __ ] hits the fan
00:50:46
in someone's life I feel like there's
00:50:47
two sorts of people people that sort of
00:50:49
like lean in or people that sort of lean
00:50:50
out most of your friends that they seem
00:50:52
to have like leaned in totally yeah and
00:50:54
it whittled out the ones that truly went
00:50:55
yeah yeah and um you know but honestly
00:50:58
there weren't that many of them mainly
00:51:00
those were just girls that were
00:51:01
interested in me before and not
00:51:03
afterwards it's like cool all right they
00:51:06
were my friends but they were only
00:51:08
friends because they wanted me maybe or
00:51:10
I don't know like actually can we talk
00:51:13
about that for that for a second and if
00:51:15
um if you don't want to answer anything
00:51:16
that's cool but um so when it comes to
00:51:19
to girls now and and sexual stuff like
00:51:21
do you have like erogenous zones
00:51:22
anywhere or like parts parts of the body
00:51:24
that yeah I mean how does that work so
00:51:27
obviously you know I don't have
00:51:29
normal feeling or you know don't have
00:51:32
much feeling at all below the level of
00:51:33
injury
00:51:35
um so any physical contact around my
00:51:37
neck shoulders
00:51:39
ears a little bit but mainly like you
00:51:41
know a good head scratch or something
00:51:43
like yeah good something like that or
00:51:45
even like literally like a Q-tip in the
00:51:46
air like just
00:51:48
getting it just the right amount getting
00:51:50
an itch out of my oh man like that is
00:51:53
just so satisfying but
00:51:55
um in terms of sex and stuff like that's
00:51:56
a big question that I think a lot of
00:51:58
people want to know but not everyone's
00:52:00
you know
00:52:01
um gonna ask
00:52:03
but you know I'm I'm fully open about it
00:52:05
all
00:52:06
um you know with my level of injury
00:52:09
uh I can still have sex
00:52:11
um
00:52:12
I can't not like mental or
00:52:17
um
00:52:18
visual stimulus doesn't doesn't do
00:52:21
anything
00:52:23
um it's only through physical touch that
00:52:25
I can actually get it up and actually um
00:52:27
have sex for a while there I had to take
00:52:29
the old blue pill to kind of just keep
00:52:31
it going but um but no didn't you know
00:52:34
that
00:52:35
pretty much phased that out I didn't
00:52:37
need that anymore and the one thing
00:52:39
though is that basically I can start but
00:52:40
I can't finish right
00:52:42
um yet okay one of those things it's
00:52:44
like oh well the same as uh rehab I just
00:52:46
need to practice
00:52:48
problem is like problem is I can't
00:52:50
practice alone so you know and it's uh
00:52:53
it's been a bit of a dry spell like this
00:52:55
but no to be honest it's um no it's cool
00:52:58
and there there is the slightest amount
00:53:00
of feelings still down there so like if
00:53:02
you know if I am having sex you know as
00:53:04
I said before I've got nerve pains below
00:53:06
my liver injury basically everything I
00:53:07
feel below the level of injury is a
00:53:09
negative sort of pain or negative
00:53:12
feeling
00:53:13
um whereas this that's it's maybe like
00:53:15
two percent of what it used to feel like
00:53:17
before but it's something a tiny little
00:53:19
tingle but it's the only
00:53:21
uh positive pleasurable feeling that I
00:53:24
get below the level of injury so
00:53:27
um you know it's just just something
00:53:29
that uh
00:53:30
I'm learning as well and with each
00:53:33
different partner uh each different
00:53:35
girlfriend that you know it's all
00:53:37
different like
00:53:39
um and it's so much needs to be done
00:53:41
around communication because yeah I've
00:53:43
been living with this injury for seven
00:53:45
and a half years someone new comes into
00:53:47
it it's all new to them and even though
00:53:49
I you know it's all I'm used to it all
00:53:51
like I've got a
00:53:53
realize that it's all so new and it's so
00:53:57
different that
00:53:58
you know the best thing is just being
00:54:00
open and communicating about it all and
00:54:02
um
00:54:03
so yeah I've um
00:54:06
yeah I mean you know as I said like it's
00:54:09
I had a good life before the injury and
00:54:11
that's other things still having a good
00:54:13
one afterwards by the time things that
00:54:15
sort of like for a while there it's like
00:54:17
the the Life I Lived before my Andrew
00:54:19
like I'm so glad that I've been able to
00:54:21
live like you know I traveled for 10
00:54:24
years of back-to-back Summers like I
00:54:27
think I had 21 Summers back to back and
00:54:31
partying you know obviously I was single
00:54:34
a lot
00:54:35
um
00:54:35
you know I had a great time and even
00:54:38
wakeboarding and everything but after my
00:54:40
accident that became you know it was a
00:54:42
blessing to have had it was awesome you
00:54:44
didn't you didn't squander those years
00:54:46
so you got the memories exactly but then
00:54:48
it was like looking back on that it's
00:54:49
like now that's what I'm comparing life
00:54:50
yeah to
00:54:52
you know what I was talking about before
00:54:53
like if someone was a counter behind a
00:54:56
desk and had the same injury it wouldn't
00:54:57
be as yeah that is hard so it was in a
00:55:00
way it was almost like a blessing and a
00:55:01
curse that I had that
00:55:03
um for a while there and I've gotten
00:55:05
past that and yeah and so I mean
00:55:07
although it's you know certainly not
00:55:09
what it used to be
00:55:10
um I'm not interested in what it used to
00:55:12
be how things were I don't wanna
00:55:15
have a one-night stand because it's
00:55:17
awkward like it takes 20 minutes for me
00:55:19
for my caregiver to put me into bed it's
00:55:21
not really the most like
00:55:24
erotic kind of turn on like tearing each
00:55:27
other's clothes off type of moment
00:55:30
um so it's very different and you know
00:55:32
and there are some girls who may be
00:55:35
um
00:55:36
not that confident or they may not you
00:55:38
know and because
00:55:40
I'm paralyzed I can't move so you can
00:55:43
picture it like I'm laying on the bed
00:55:45
and she's got to be on top basically
00:55:47
if a girl's not confident and not able
00:55:49
to do that like then it's you know it's
00:55:51
it's
00:55:53
a lot to take on well usual sexual
00:55:56
experience or anything like that is two
00:55:59
people both you know touching feeling
00:56:01
you know whatever or like so making it
00:56:05
just a one-person side like I have to
00:56:08
before if I wanted to pull someone in
00:56:10
and kiss them now I have to do that with
00:56:13
my words
00:56:13
and that was so awkward for a while
00:56:16
there but now you know I'm just I know
00:56:19
that that's how it is and that's it's
00:56:20
only through my words that I'm able to
00:56:24
instill confidence in them to be able to
00:56:26
do what they need to do or want to do
00:56:29
um
00:56:30
so yeah I've I've just been having to
00:56:32
kind of work on that and and be more
00:56:34
verbal and communicate better and
00:56:37
um yeah but no as I said earlier as well
00:56:39
like I've gotten to a point of
00:56:41
confidence now where I'm just you know
00:56:43
I'll happily go up and chat with anyone
00:56:45
or someone out for coffee
00:56:47
you know more than knowing that it I
00:56:50
could get turned down but it's like if I
00:56:53
don't shoot my shot then I'm not gonna
00:56:55
get where I want to be absolutely and uh
00:56:58
yeah confidence confidence takes you a
00:57:00
long way yeah whether you're able-bodied
00:57:02
or not
00:57:03
for sure and that and it's there's a lot
00:57:05
of learning as I mentioned you know
00:57:07
there's a lot of things that I can't do
00:57:08
you know we're not just talking in the
00:57:10
bedroom now but like just in general
00:57:12
everyday life
00:57:13
um and a little one like what's what's
00:57:15
brings to mind that we would necessarily
00:57:17
think of go out for a run yeah you know
00:57:20
go on a go on a mission to the beach
00:57:21
like sure I can but it takes a lot more
00:57:23
work yeah I mean I've got a planning a
00:57:26
chair with tank tracks on it so I can go
00:57:28
on a beach but there's a lot that goes
00:57:30
on and plus the Heat sucks I can't my
00:57:34
body doesn't sweat from getting hot like
00:57:37
you may have noticed I'm sweating now
00:57:39
that's from the gut pains that I'm
00:57:40
getting that's my body telling me hey
00:57:42
something's wrong yeah it's it's
00:57:43
responsive forces my blood pressure up
00:57:46
which makes me sweat
00:57:47
but yeah if I'm out in the sun I don't
00:57:49
sweat and so I just get hotter and
00:57:51
hotter and hotter I just cook
00:57:53
um so I actually have to use like a
00:57:54
spray bottle to kind of Spritz you know
00:57:56
like Mist water onto my body
00:57:58
and that kind of Acts in the same way as
00:58:00
sweat does but
00:58:01
yeah there's things like that I mean
00:58:03
even little things though like
00:58:05
you know say I got a girlfriend and she
00:58:07
arrives at my house I can't get up and
00:58:08
go give her a hug it's on her to come
00:58:11
over and hug me you know I'm sure I can
00:58:13
drive my chair over but she's got to be
00:58:15
the one to initiate unless I'm verbally
00:58:19
you know I verbally initiate it but
00:58:21
just a little things like that like not
00:58:23
being able to like hold someone's hand
00:58:24
like you know and these are things in a
00:58:26
relationship that you don't think of
00:58:28
yeah and and at the time they probably
00:58:30
don't even feel like something that
00:58:32
would be that would affect someone but
00:58:35
I think over time you know that it might
00:58:38
just feel like something's missing and
00:58:40
that it could just be something like
00:58:41
that just that
00:58:43
slight lack of physical contact and
00:58:45
that's where you come down to Like Love
00:58:46
Languages okay if I met someone whose
00:58:48
love language is physical touch we may
00:58:51
have an issue yeah you know gotcha so so
00:58:54
yeah there's there's um there's a lot to
00:58:56
learn and that's the thing I've just
00:58:58
been open to learning about it and and I
00:59:00
know you know it's been a dry spell but
00:59:02
I know that the right person will come
00:59:03
along when they need to and I feel like
00:59:05
you're probably into a deeper connection
00:59:06
now anyway 100 and that's why I was
00:59:08
going getting to earlier was um yeah I'm
00:59:11
not interested in those sort of uh
00:59:14
someone who I just am into because
00:59:16
they're hot yeah like that doesn't
00:59:18
interest me now like I'm so much more
00:59:20
interested in that deeper connection and
00:59:22
and just other qualities that um just
00:59:26
seem more important another thing that
00:59:27
just comes with maturity and age for
00:59:30
everyone or most people anyway and um
00:59:32
for me it just because I was hit with
00:59:34
this situation all at once it just
00:59:37
forced me to learn these things that
00:59:39
people I think try to learn over their
00:59:41
lives especially even the mental stuff
00:59:43
that I've been talking about a lot of
00:59:45
people try to learn these but because I
00:59:46
don't have a nine-to-five job because I
00:59:48
was able to sit
00:59:50
had the time to put into it it meant
00:59:53
that
00:59:53
um
00:59:54
yeah I've been able to kind of grow a
00:59:57
lot faster than I think yeah most people
00:59:59
do
01:00:00
yeah it got some massive stuff you've
01:00:02
been throwing you can just the way you
01:00:05
speak and the lessons you've got you can
01:00:06
definitely tell you've done the work and
01:00:08
some yeah thank you on that note yeah
01:00:10
anyone's interested
01:00:12
Central talent I uh I do do public
01:00:15
speaking great job Shameless
01:00:17
self-promotion yeah um but no I I
01:00:20
actually that's one of the things I've
01:00:21
gotten into lately that I really really
01:00:23
enjoy again it's it's about taking what
01:00:25
I've learned being able to give it back
01:00:27
help others
01:00:29
um and it gives me a similar feeling to
01:00:31
like entering a wakeboard contest
01:00:32
beforehand like Adrenaline Rush got the
01:00:35
nerves either prepared properly all this
01:00:37
and that you get into it Flow State like
01:00:39
oh cool the words are just coming like
01:00:42
the hour flies by and then afterwards
01:00:45
you've got this feeling of
01:00:45
accomplishment and everything in
01:00:47
paycheck as well hopefully which which
01:00:50
doesn't always come with the weight
01:00:51
putting one but if I did well obviously
01:00:54
it did but yeah it's um
01:00:56
it's been really cool and I've been
01:00:58
learning a lot over it and I'm really
01:01:00
grateful for you know agent Sean and
01:01:02
bringing me in and getting a mic set and
01:01:05
uh you know and for every
01:01:07
company School anyone who's brought me
01:01:10
along and hired me to come and speak
01:01:12
it's uh it's it's it's an honor and
01:01:15
um yeah looking forward to doing more
01:01:17
yeah hey um good luck with everything
01:01:19
good luck with the book thank you it's
01:01:21
going to be amazing when that comes out
01:01:22
and um good luck with the Skydive I
01:01:24
reckon if anyone can can get up in a
01:01:26
plane and give themselves tossed out
01:01:28
that'll be it'll be a fun one I've got a
01:01:29
friend of mine's a tandem Scott I've
01:01:31
instructor over in Aussie so I actually
01:01:33
tried to go into 2019 I went over there
01:01:35
to to do it but uh the weather didn't
01:01:37
play ball yeah and I also didn't get
01:01:39
clearance from the spinal unit that was
01:01:43
a tough one but uh managed to get that
01:01:46
all through and so um so yeah that'll be
01:01:48
something we've got on the cards yeah so
01:01:50
the so the doctor that said you can't
01:01:52
dive
01:01:53
um he didn't say anything about the
01:01:54
skydive
01:01:56
no this is another doctor uh and they
01:01:59
were kind of hesitant but right I
01:02:03
I basically said look
01:02:05
you're the only reasons you're saying no
01:02:09
kind of don't really have anything to do
01:02:11
with my spinal cord injury because we've
01:02:14
covered everything we'd addressed every
01:02:16
issue we'd covered everything that my my
01:02:19
lack of ability would you know what
01:02:22
would come into play with skydiving and
01:02:24
so we covered everything off so
01:02:25
literally the only reason they're saying
01:02:27
no is because of their beliefs around oh
01:02:30
you're a bit fragile
01:02:32
it's like well [ __ ]
01:02:34
like if I break my leg on a landing it's
01:02:37
probably someone with an able body would
01:02:40
have broken their leg on their Landing
01:02:41
too it's just it's part of the
01:02:43
it's part of what the risk there's that
01:02:45
risk for everyone so
01:02:47
yeah it should be fun yeah brilliant God
01:02:49
I petty you're a doctor geez
01:02:52
um
01:02:53
patient tough patient no you're the
01:02:56
greatest man it's um it's so good and
01:02:58
you're you're living a more fulfilling
01:03:00
and Rich life than most people that are
01:03:02
fully able-bodied I reckon yeah and I
01:03:04
hope that that's what you know with the
01:03:06
book and there's a uh plans for
01:03:09
hopefully a documentary as well and you
01:03:11
know I want that's the whole reason for
01:03:13
the two of them is to
01:03:14
to try to motivate people to kind of
01:03:16
push beyond the barriers and limitations
01:03:18
that they put on themselves and that
01:03:20
Society may have put on them and you
01:03:23
know realize that
01:03:25
that we're in control of those barriers
01:03:27
and we can there are ways around them
01:03:29
there are you know we kind of just got
01:03:30
to put ourselves out there and sometimes
01:03:33
it's just that first step that just gets
01:03:35
us on a roll whether it's confidence
01:03:37
whether it's knowing that we can do
01:03:39
something knowing that how that it's
01:03:41
easier than we thought it was going to
01:03:42
be
01:03:44
um yeah so hopefully people take that
01:03:46
away and even from this this chat right
01:03:49
now sir you're having me on absolute
01:03:51
pleasure thanks for sharing my pleasure
01:03:53
cheers on