00:00:00
hey Runners only with dime Harley
00:00:03
Runners only with dom Harvey and um
00:00:05
evidently an old friend of mine Penny
00:00:08
Taylor hello hi how you doing yeah
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you're good this is slightly awkward we
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just established that we're like old
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mates from palmy North you you were good
00:00:16
friends with my girlfriend Kim I was
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remember and I'm sorry
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a lot a million years ago yeah it is
00:00:32
wonderful to have you around here on the
00:00:33
podcast uh we follow each other on
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Instagram I've been inspired by you I
00:00:38
know a lot of people that'll be
00:00:40
listening to this or watching this will
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be like I don't know who Penny Taylor is
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um and if that's you I urge you to stick
00:00:47
around because it's a it's a hell of a
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ride
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well this has been your reality for like
00:00:58
the last 14 years and I I wonder this is
00:01:02
the first time you've gone on a podcast
00:01:04
um how do you like how does it make you
00:01:07
feel when you tell the story
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um sometimes like one-on-one I'm really
00:01:14
good I can just tell the story to a big
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crowd I get emotional which is weird
00:01:21
um and I've never really I've always
00:01:22
shied away really I haven't really
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talked about it that much I'm okay with
00:01:27
it
00:01:28
um but just have really put all my
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energy and focus into recovery and
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surviving those first few years and now
00:01:36
thriving yeah oh it's it's so
00:01:38
inspirational the the getting emotional
00:01:40
in a big room thing do you think that's
00:01:42
because you sort of feed off the energy
00:01:44
of the crowd you see the the emotion
00:01:46
that they're going through and you sort
00:01:48
of feed off that maybe yeah I don't know
00:01:50
it's just something weird it's like I
00:01:52
know other people that can stand up and
00:01:55
talk about their stories like really
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confidently and I admire them but it's
00:02:00
just not something I can do really yeah
00:02:02
okay well let's get into the story that
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we're talking about
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um
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take us back to 36 year old Penny Taylor
00:02:09
in November 2009.
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yep so I was a single mum so I had Sam
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who was seven and who was now 20.
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um and Jade was three and who is now 17.
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um and so we were just you know it was
00:02:28
November it was a busy time at work it
00:02:31
was also a social time at work you know
00:02:33
with Christmas parties Etc
00:02:36
um and
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um yeah we did have function on the
00:02:40
Saturday night for work
00:02:43
um was completely fine didn't overdo it
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you know too too too badly your foot
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you're from Palmers to North we we were
00:02:50
swimming in the same Waters yeah a
00:02:52
apartment you're not overdoing it that's
00:02:54
a couple of bottles of wine yeah that's
00:02:55
it and we finished off at the dirty old
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cob
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um anyway
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um yeah so then the next few days went
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by
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um and then on the Thursday morning I
00:03:08
woke like really early about five
00:03:10
o'clock in the morning and
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um just felt nauseous and was gonna
00:03:14
almost just vomiting and so I was
00:03:16
dragging myself to the toilet vomiting
00:03:18
going back to bed um I had the kids at
00:03:20
home with me
00:03:21
um I did manage to text their dad and
00:03:24
say could you pick them up and take them
00:03:25
to school because they don't think I'll
00:03:27
be doing that today so he was good he
00:03:29
come around picked them up did what he
00:03:31
needed to do with them
00:03:32
um he did realize that he thought I
00:03:34
didn't look that good
00:03:36
um and he did alert my mum and said that
00:03:40
um he'd been around put the kids up
00:03:41
didn't know how well peony actually was
00:03:44
at that point in time so to me all I'd
00:03:48
had was vomiting so
00:03:51
um as the day went on I just continued
00:03:53
to be in and out and sleeping vomiting
00:03:56
sleeping vomiting basically
00:03:58
um four o'clock in the afternoon my mum
00:04:01
finishes work and I'm
00:04:03
resilient for and
00:04:06
I just have to lock the door like I
00:04:08
never not lock my front door it's just a
00:04:11
thing I've always done and for whatever
00:04:13
reason this day whether Jason didn't
00:04:15
lock it on his way out or
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um
00:04:19
I don't know how but it was unlocked
00:04:21
where do you live in public library
00:04:24
you would think so wouldn't you yeah
00:04:26
yeah for anyone that doesn't know their
00:04:29
geography they're like the bad area yeah
00:04:31
yeah
00:04:33
um and so fortunately it wasn't locked
00:04:35
so my mum finished work she came by
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um came in and I was unconscious at that
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point and she was trying to raise my you
00:04:45
know alertness and she couldn't she
00:04:46
couldn't get anything from me I don't
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remember her arriving at all
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um and so so I'm just going to pause you
00:04:53
there so in the space of like 12 hours
00:04:55
you went from
00:04:56
the start of like what you assumed was
00:04:58
like a flu or a virus so it was like
00:05:00
five in the morning yeah that I first
00:05:02
noticed feeling unwell and this was four
00:05:05
in the afternoon 11 hours later yeah so
00:05:07
what I put it down to is a vomiting only
00:05:10
was I'd picked up a bug from the kids
00:05:12
like Jade was at daycare and Sam was at
00:05:15
school so you know if you like
00:05:16
everything yeah so that's what I had
00:05:19
thought but by the time mum had got to
00:05:21
me say around 4 30 I think it was
00:05:24
um I was incoherent and I don't remember
00:05:27
her arriving
00:05:28
um so because she couldn't raise you
00:05:31
know anything from me she rung the
00:05:33
ambulance they turned up
00:05:35
um I have no recollection of this at all
00:05:37
mom said when they put me into the
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ambulance they had alluded the hospital
00:05:42
that it was like code four or whatever
00:05:45
it was they had given me half an hour to
00:05:48
live by the time I arrived
00:05:50
um and Mum said on my way to the
00:05:52
hospital she's noticed a black spot on
00:05:55
my leg and then by the time I got to the
00:05:57
hospital the black spot had grown all
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the way up my leg and was basically
00:06:02
taking over my body which was just like
00:06:04
your limbs dying yeah so that's the
00:06:07
meningococcal
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so once so literally they they threw me
00:06:12
into a e
00:06:14
um everyone was gowned up from head to
00:06:15
toe with the big like white masks
00:06:18
everything
00:06:20
um so you remember this or you just yeah
00:06:25
um so they tried so they quickly
00:06:27
realized that it was meningococcal and
00:06:30
they quickly tried all the normal drugs
00:06:32
that they would give you to do that to
00:06:35
try and slow that progress down I was
00:06:39
well too far gone by that stage
00:06:42
um so then they put me up to ICU and I
00:06:47
remember mum saying that the doctor had
00:06:49
told her to take me like to the nurse
00:06:52
take me straight up I needed to get on
00:06:54
the machines and they were
00:06:56
dilly-dallying around in this doctor let
00:06:58
rip apparently because the time was so
00:07:01
crucial
00:07:02
so we got up to ICU and Palmerston North
00:07:05
Hospital and I was literally strapped to
00:07:08
everything no one to mankind at that
00:07:11
point they had given me so by the time
00:07:15
they stretched me all up they realized
00:07:16
the extent of it all so all my organs
00:07:18
had failed so my liver my kidneys
00:07:21
everything internally was failing at a
00:07:25
rapid rate and I had a temperature of 42
00:07:29
degrees so I was literally frying from
00:07:31
the inside what's it supposed to be 36
00:07:34
37 is normal yeah
00:07:37
um
00:07:38
so with that so like literally my body's
00:07:41
just been taken over by this virus
00:07:44
um I swelled up to twice the size of me
00:07:47
so I was kind of really unrecognizable I
00:07:49
it just had ballooned out
00:07:52
um
00:07:53
so they put me all on the ventilators
00:07:56
Etc
00:07:57
and then one of the doctors just went
00:07:59
away and just started researching he
00:08:01
realized I was 36 years old he realized
00:08:04
I had a young family he's like we need
00:08:06
to do something so he rang around all
00:08:09
the hospitals in New Zealand to ask what
00:08:11
drugs they had used for meningococcal B
00:08:13
case so I was miniature cocoa bee what
00:08:15
does that mean it's the different
00:08:17
variant of it so the most common is like
00:08:19
the W which was up in Northland like
00:08:22
there was a big mess they did a big
00:08:25
vaccination program up there because it
00:08:27
was taking over some of the schools but
00:08:29
B was one they didn't have a vaccine for
00:08:33
um and they have now created it from my
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records
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um but yeah so they
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so they ventilated me put me into a coma
00:08:45
sort of said to my mum and dad and
00:08:47
everyone that I would they protecting 48
00:08:50
to 72 hours that's it people that need
00:08:53
to come and say goodbye need to come up
00:08:54
also you were you were basically on life
00:08:56
support
00:08:57
um oh my God yeah yeah all right you
00:09:01
don't remember any of us
00:09:03
none of it at all I have no idea what
00:09:05
the family what everyone else went
00:09:07
through I can only imagine it's
00:09:10
harrowing yeah it's harrowing yeah
00:09:13
um just you're just just pausing pausing
00:09:15
here before we move on it's such a
00:09:17
I mean this
00:09:19
or spoiler alert you survived you're
00:09:22
here now on the boat there's so much to
00:09:24
be thankful for like the I don't know
00:09:26
the hunch or the Intuition or whatever
00:09:27
it was from your ex to like get in touch
00:09:30
with your mum like there's so much that
00:09:31
did go right yeah otherwise you would
00:09:34
have just died there in bed presumably I
00:09:37
would have yeah a couple of hours later
00:09:38
a couple of hours later yeah that 100
00:09:40
they said that that would have been the
00:09:42
end
00:09:43
um I would have been found because you
00:09:44
hear about those stories don't you with
00:09:46
people that have contracted managercocca
00:09:49
and they've woken they haven't woken the
00:09:50
next day
00:09:51
um gone to bed thinking it's a cold or a
00:09:53
flu and not woken up
00:09:56
um and I think that was the difference
00:09:57
with me is that I didn't have any of
00:09:59
those other symptoms so all the other
00:10:00
ones that they say is like you know the
00:10:03
lights you know your eyes are painful
00:10:06
with looking at light
00:10:08
um the headaches the runny nose all
00:10:11
those fever type things I never had that
00:10:13
I just had the vomiting that was it yeah
00:10:14
how do you how do you catch at it how
00:10:17
can you avoid it so everyone carries it
00:10:19
so everyone has it in the back of their
00:10:21
throat and it's just so you could be a
00:10:23
carrier and never pass it on
00:10:26
um and never get sick yourself or you
00:10:28
could
00:10:29
be a carrier and pass it on and so
00:10:32
saliva based obviously with being in the
00:10:34
back of your throat and
00:10:36
um it can be as simple as picking up
00:10:38
someone else's cup or sharing a drink
00:10:41
and you have left your saliva on there
00:10:44
with the
00:10:46
um disease and I've picked it up and
00:10:48
it's taken over my body can be as easy
00:10:50
as that young girls with lip gloss
00:10:52
sharing that and that's why it was so
00:10:56
um heavy and the young kids like little
00:10:59
preschool children because they put
00:11:01
everything in their mouth so it takes
00:11:03
over all the time and then also
00:11:05
teenagers in University hostels so for
00:11:08
me to be 36 was a little bit out of the
00:11:10
box
00:11:12
and then after me there were quite
00:11:14
several a lot of several cases of people
00:11:16
in the same age bracket that we're
00:11:19
getting it so it then kind of was
00:11:22
discovered that it not necessarily is it
00:11:25
in those two age groups anymore so what
00:11:27
what can people do to avoid it is there
00:11:29
anything in that that we can do don't
00:11:30
share drinks okay don't just be really
00:11:33
conscious about what you do so
00:11:36
um my kids was drummed into them at a
00:11:38
very young age not to share anything
00:11:41
um you always tell your kids to share
00:11:42
but don't do it this way
00:11:45
um yeah so it's just it's just it's one
00:11:48
of those things really you can't
00:11:49
actually do a lot to prevent it yeah I
00:11:52
mean yeah it just seems like it's a bad
00:11:55
lack or a bad roll of the dice really
00:11:56
doesn't it yeah yeah okay so so you're
00:11:58
around your own life support and
00:12:01
Intensive Care Unit at Palmerston North
00:12:02
Hospital
00:12:04
um
00:12:05
your mum would have told you this I'm
00:12:06
guessing did they come in and say
00:12:08
goodbyes and things like that yeah so
00:12:11
um they had to bring the kids up
00:12:14
um and the kids were three and seven so
00:12:17
they had to try and explain so Jade
00:12:19
doesn't she was three she doesn't really
00:12:21
remember a lot but I think Sam does more
00:12:24
he was seven and of course I didn't look
00:12:27
like mum because I'd swollen I was like
00:12:29
filling the hospital bed and I just
00:12:32
didn't look like me so I don't really
00:12:36
no I don't I haven't even really asked
00:12:39
how well that went because I don't
00:12:40
really want to know because I can only
00:12:42
imagine that it would have been
00:12:43
heartbreaking yeah how old is your son
00:12:46
now 20. he's 20. yeah yeah yeah do you
00:12:49
ever talk about it or no you just yeah
00:12:51
we do yeah we talk about it yeah we do
00:12:53
talk about it over the years and they
00:12:55
know exactly how lucky they are to have
00:12:57
me still here
00:12:58
um I suppose that makes it less
00:13:00
triggering I mean if if that was his
00:13:02
last vision of you it's the sort of
00:13:04
thing that would give you PTSD yeah but
00:13:06
the fact that you've um you survived it
00:13:07
and you are thriving as you said before
00:13:09
and you've an incredible role model for
00:13:11
them I suppose yeah yeah it sort of
00:13:13
takes away the sting of that hospital
00:13:15
visit yeah that's it so
00:13:17
um yeah so I don't really I don't think
00:13:20
that I don't know how well that went but
00:13:22
yeah then I just had like all my nearest
00:13:24
and dearest obviously came in and um saw
00:13:27
me
00:13:28
um in the meantime the doctor that was
00:13:30
ringing around the hospitals
00:13:33
um came back to mum and dad with this
00:13:36
drug and don't ask me what the name is
00:13:38
because I can't remember
00:13:39
um but it was really left field so one
00:13:42
of my other friends Kelly
00:13:45
um she was a nurse and so she was kind
00:13:48
of the alongside mum and dad
00:13:50
putting it into normal terms for them to
00:13:53
try and understand what they're talking
00:13:54
about so Kelly said is pretty random
00:13:57
it's not a drug that they no one else
00:13:59
had used it and it's not a drug that
00:14:01
they would have
00:14:02
um used normally but mum and dad said
00:14:06
well it's worth a shot try anything
00:14:07
right let's just do it so they shipped
00:14:09
it in over the course of the weekend so
00:14:11
this was a Thursday night I was admitted
00:14:13
and so they started shipping it in on
00:14:15
the Friday
00:14:16
the doctor that shipped it in went on
00:14:18
leave on the Saturday and Sunday and he
00:14:21
didn't expect to see me on Monday that
00:14:23
when he left on Friday he thought I
00:14:25
wouldn't be there
00:14:26
so they started administrating this drug
00:14:29
and by the Sunday afternoon I did a
00:14:31
teaspoon of wheeze which they all
00:14:34
celebrated and was jumping around
00:14:36
because that proved to them that my
00:14:39
kidneys were starting to do something
00:14:41
and so even though it was only a
00:14:43
teaspoon but it was
00:14:45
they even know were they like monitoring
00:14:48
your everything else in your bladder and
00:14:50
yeah right absolutely you're like
00:14:52
honestly I was hooked up to so many
00:14:54
machines it was yeah I've seen photos of
00:14:59
it and
00:15:01
um yeah I was there was no
00:15:04
there wasn't much room for anything else
00:15:06
I was jabbed everywhere yeah
00:15:09
um so yeah so that indication of the
00:15:11
teaspoon of wheeze was like okay we're
00:15:13
heading in a good direction still
00:15:16
obviously very critical I was still in a
00:15:18
coma
00:15:19
um so they just kept administrating it
00:15:21
over the course of the next couple of
00:15:23
weeks yeah
00:15:25
um is I think it was about
00:15:28
a month uh in a coma they decided that
00:15:32
they would start to bring me out
00:15:34
um I hadn't died so they were like okay
00:15:37
let's bring her out and see what happens
00:15:40
um because of all the internal organ
00:15:42
organs failing so I was on dialysis for
00:15:45
my kidneys
00:15:47
um and then so that was going 24 7.
00:15:51
um
00:15:52
they didn't know how I was going to be
00:15:54
because I didn't have any when people
00:15:57
talked to me I would say things Way Way
00:15:59
Back in the past but not in the present
00:16:02
well this is when you just came out of
00:16:03
the Cove yeah do you remember any of
00:16:05
this now so I have some vivid
00:16:07
experiences of coming out of a coma and
00:16:10
I yeah it was it's horrific like they
00:16:13
say hallucinations and it's seriously
00:16:16
it's horrible
00:16:19
um like what well there was I I remember
00:16:22
this so there was um so they had started
00:16:25
so over the course of three days they're
00:16:26
bringing me out of this coma and they
00:16:28
had to do it very slowly they thought
00:16:29
that possibly I might be a little bit
00:16:31
brain damaged because of the temperature
00:16:32
that I had
00:16:34
um fortunately I'm not but um
00:16:37
so I guess heading towards the end of
00:16:40
coming out
00:16:42
um that's when the hallucination started
00:16:44
and I just had this Vivid
00:16:47
feeling that people were chasing me and
00:16:49
they wanted to kill me and it was Vivid
00:16:52
like so vivid and um
00:16:56
to the point where an ICU you don't have
00:16:58
to have this side of the beds up because
00:17:01
patients generally aren't going to go
00:17:02
anywhere when you're in ICU
00:17:04
but these were so vivid the power of the
00:17:07
mind at one point I literally I lifted
00:17:10
my body attached to all of those
00:17:13
machines and I threw myself on what I
00:17:16
thought was a wheelchair so I knew that
00:17:18
I couldn't walk but I threw myself onto
00:17:21
a wheelchair thinking I could get away
00:17:22
from this person that was chasing me
00:17:25
might sound like a nutcase but it was
00:17:27
seriously
00:17:28
um is this is this the the drugs you're
00:17:31
on or yeah it's the drugs are coming out
00:17:33
of the coma yeah and you've got to get a
00:17:36
hold of some of them yeah I know it was
00:17:38
not pleasant let me tell you
00:17:40
um and then I just I landed in a heap on
00:17:42
the floor so of course everyone in ICU
00:17:44
were like mortified they've never seen
00:17:47
that happen before in their life that
00:17:50
someone that was in a coma could do that
00:17:53
um so then they had to pop me through
00:17:54
the machines to make sure I hadn't broke
00:17:55
working anything
00:17:57
and now DSA at the ICU they have the
00:18:00
side rails up now because well they
00:18:02
changed the rules because yeah yeah
00:18:05
um wow so yeah so that was horrific it
00:18:09
was like not for how long how long do
00:18:11
those hallucinations like forever yeah
00:18:13
it felt like forever for me I don't know
00:18:14
how long it actually was but it just
00:18:16
felt horrendous
00:18:19
um so when in my grogginess
00:18:21
um you know I was saying really random
00:18:23
things to family and stuff some some
00:18:25
things made sense some things didn't so
00:18:28
that's where they were really dicey
00:18:29
about whether my brain was actually
00:18:31
gonna function or not yeah
00:18:34
um so I guess after a course of about a
00:18:36
month
00:18:38
um they were trying to because I needed
00:18:40
dialysis
00:18:41
and I also needed to have my legs looked
00:18:45
at because I looked like I had frostbite
00:18:47
are you so you still had all your limbs
00:18:48
at this point yeah yeah so I hadn't had
00:18:51
any surgeries whatsoever because I
00:18:52
wasn't well enough to to enjoy any ECGs
00:18:55
so
00:18:57
um yeah so you see frostbite and that's
00:19:00
what I look like I was black like
00:19:01
literally black all over
00:19:04
um fortunately my face didn't get
00:19:06
affected
00:19:08
um but yeah fingers hands torso no torso
00:19:12
was fine but my arms are all scarred
00:19:14
Emma oh they are yeah and my legs what's
00:19:18
this what's the scarring on those arms
00:19:20
from so that's where the meningococcal
00:19:22
ate away in my body yeah and so then
00:19:25
also just like eats away at the flesh
00:19:26
yep
00:19:28
yeah so that's what the meningococcal
00:19:30
does and then of course when your organs
00:19:32
fail you then go into septus and so then
00:19:35
I went in to septicemia and that's when
00:19:37
you that's when it starts to go gangrene
00:19:39
looking and that's when your limbs
00:19:42
become affected
00:19:43
so yeah oh man that turn around happens
00:19:47
really quickly yeah yeah yeah
00:19:49
okay so
00:19:51
um
00:19:51
so is it is it obvious to you that
00:19:53
you're going to lose the limbs or are
00:19:54
you just not thinking about anything at
00:19:56
that I didn't even read registered yeah
00:19:58
like no it's been in a state of
00:20:00
bewilderment so you don't know what's
00:20:01
going on I hadn't had no idea what what
00:20:04
had happened I had no idea how long I'd
00:20:05
been in hospital for
00:20:08
um and I knew that I was sick but I
00:20:11
didn't because I was pinned to the bed
00:20:12
by that I had no idea what what
00:20:14
everything looked like
00:20:16
um and so they were trying to so that I
00:20:20
needed dialysis and I needed to have
00:20:23
basically my legs amputated and at that
00:20:26
stage they were thinking they might be
00:20:28
able to just do my feet but it really
00:20:29
depends how far they what they what they
00:20:33
think of
00:20:35
um and then
00:20:36
um is that a decision that you make or
00:20:39
is it a decision your mum makes on your
00:20:40
behalf or the decision that the doctors
00:20:42
make so that's just like not no choice
00:20:45
in the matter it just has to be so they
00:20:47
basically had to go up up my leg till
00:20:50
they reached some decent amount of Flesh
00:20:53
skin
00:20:55
you know everything that looked like
00:20:57
would be able to be healed so I remember
00:21:00
them saying to me so so this went on for
00:21:03
a while and then in the end I remember
00:21:04
saying to the doctor look can we just
00:21:06
make a decision and get this thing going
00:21:08
because I'm just like looking around
00:21:10
here
00:21:11
um and what they were trying to do was
00:21:13
they were trying to get me to be
00:21:14
transferred to waikato hospital because
00:21:16
their dialysis and their Plastics unit
00:21:20
Etc were all in within the one Hospital
00:21:22
yeah but because I was in Palmerston I
00:21:25
had to go my region for that sort of
00:21:27
thing was Wellington so I had to go to
00:21:30
the lower Hutt Burns unit
00:21:32
and that meant I had to endure a trip
00:21:36
into Wellington Central Hospital for the
00:21:38
dialysis so it was in two separate
00:21:40
hospitals and it was horrendous
00:21:44
um so they were trying to avoid that
00:21:46
situation but they couldn't waikato
00:21:48
wouldn't take me so I had to go down so
00:21:51
they flew me down to
00:21:53
um lower Hutt in and they treated me
00:21:56
like a Burns patient so when you had
00:21:59
Kelsey on the other week and I listened
00:22:01
to her story about the burns and this is
00:22:04
Kelsey wear corn uh the white island
00:22:06
Survivor yeah I resonated with her so
00:22:09
much because the treatment that she had
00:22:11
was very similar to mine yeah obviously
00:22:13
hers was a lot more over her body but um
00:22:17
it was the same kind of treatment so I
00:22:19
was put into the burns unit and then I
00:22:23
luckily
00:22:24
to my I'm so grateful I went there now
00:22:27
at the time wasn't but now I'm so
00:22:30
grateful
00:22:30
um because I ended up with Dr sweet tan
00:22:33
who was a really excellent plastic
00:22:36
surgeon and he was able to he said to my
00:22:40
mum I we might we'll try for the feet
00:22:43
but we'll just have to go up as far as
00:22:45
we can but if we can do anything we
00:22:47
would love to be able to save her knees
00:22:49
because as a bilateral amputee having
00:22:52
these is going to make life so much
00:22:53
easier for her
00:22:55
so so all this is happening in your
00:22:58
blissfully unaware blissfully unaware
00:23:00
yeah yeah which is probably a good thing
00:23:02
yeah it's interesting I mean yeah it's
00:23:05
interesting there's two ways of looking
00:23:07
at it I guess because I I had a another
00:23:08
remarkable woman on the podcast last
00:23:10
year called Rachel Meyer who's um a para
00:23:13
climber and she had an accident um when
00:23:15
she was kidding when she was a kid and
00:23:17
broke some um bones in her foot and she
00:23:20
ended up opting to have
00:23:21
um her leg removed as an adult so she
00:23:25
went through the whole grieving process
00:23:26
of like fear Welling it and making this
00:23:28
decision and coming to that decision but
00:23:30
that wasn't even an option for you no no
00:23:33
option so that was more about survival
00:23:35
yeah so they had to get they had to do
00:23:37
it to in order for me to live yeah that
00:23:40
was where it was at yeah so they
00:23:44
um my literally my mum and like the
00:23:46
family had to say goodbye to me again at
00:23:49
that point because it was a 12-hour
00:23:52
surgery to do the amputations and they
00:23:55
the state that I was in they didn't
00:23:57
think I would come out of it
00:24:00
oh my God you're you're a poor parent I
00:24:02
know oh my God we'll get to we'll get to
00:24:05
the the horrible stuff that you went
00:24:07
through on the road to recovery
00:24:09
afterwards I mean yeah but but meanwhile
00:24:11
you're blissfully unaware of all the
00:24:13
that's going on your poor mother I
00:24:15
know oh my God put it put them all
00:24:17
through yeah so much and I can't imagine
00:24:20
what a role how long was this roller
00:24:22
coaster for that they were on oh she
00:24:24
might make it she might not this is
00:24:26
happening she might not make this yeah
00:24:28
so this was like four weeks down the
00:24:30
track and then I was three weeks in
00:24:33
Wellington while they did all the
00:24:35
surgeries
00:24:37
um who's looking after the kids at this
00:24:38
time just the year so they were all down
00:24:39
everyone was down in Wellington Jason
00:24:41
had brought them um down as well so he
00:24:44
was really awesome and supported
00:24:46
everybody in that way
00:24:48
um and then yes I went into the surgery
00:24:52
um Swede tan managed to basically patch
00:24:56
quilt my legs to be able to keep my so
00:24:58
they were scripping around trying to
00:25:00
find some skin so they
00:25:02
um had to take skin from all sorts of
00:25:04
places to try and
00:25:06
be able to do all my arms and my legs
00:25:09
with where the miniature cocoa would eat
00:25:11
it in them away and then also try and
00:25:13
amputate my legs and then
00:25:15
patch them up with skin so from a skin
00:25:19
graft or yeah yeah so I got grafted from
00:25:21
my back and my and my torso
00:25:24
um which was probably more painful than
00:25:26
the other areas because it's like a
00:25:28
graze and it's horrible
00:25:30
um but I owe my knees to him because he
00:25:33
did whatever he could to save them and
00:25:35
I'm so grateful for that because
00:25:37
having your knees is so much more
00:25:39
functional than being above knee it's
00:25:42
like a lot a lot lot harder
00:25:44
so then over the course of those three
00:25:47
weeks I was in and out like
00:25:50
so I would endure literally nearly two
00:25:52
surgeries a day while they were either
00:25:55
checking my grafts to make sure they're
00:25:57
taking
00:25:59
um or going in and doing the next lot
00:26:00
and then in between times they would
00:26:03
come in at the in the morning at six in
00:26:05
the morning to do my kidney readings and
00:26:07
if they were no good they would then put
00:26:10
me on a in an ambulance and send me
00:26:13
through to
00:26:14
Wellington hospital for my dialysis and
00:26:18
so what they would have to do because I
00:26:20
was like Kelsey where I couldn't be
00:26:22
touched like it hurt like it was painful
00:26:24
I was sucking on the gas every time they
00:26:27
touched me moved me so to endure all the
00:26:30
bumps on the road in an ambulance all
00:26:33
the way to Wellington hospital was
00:26:34
horrific so they would drug me as much
00:26:38
as they could to get there and then
00:26:41
transport me over to the dialysis bed do
00:26:43
the dialysis which takes all those drugs
00:26:45
out of your body
00:26:46
and then I'd go home on nothing
00:26:49
and it was horrendous so I did that for
00:26:53
um three weeks and that was it was not
00:26:56
um not pleasant at all but fortunately
00:26:59
and I'm really grateful that the my
00:27:02
internal organs are really good and
00:27:03
they've all recovered and
00:27:06
um yeah that's that's been a huge thing
00:27:09
yeah that's amazing so for those three
00:27:10
weeks you're you're fully conscious and
00:27:12
aware of what's going on and you can you
00:27:15
remember the moment you got told about
00:27:16
about the limbs
00:27:18
yeah so actually my reaction to losing
00:27:21
my legs went wasn't that I was okay
00:27:22
about that yeah like it didn't I think
00:27:25
that's the drugs you're on or probably
00:27:26
just because you were so like like
00:27:29
beaten and deflated yeah yeah I think I
00:27:32
was just
00:27:33
I think I was just like oh my God I'm
00:27:35
alive for a start and then trying to
00:27:37
process actually what had happened
00:27:40
um but I was more surprised about my
00:27:43
arms and my fingers and I didn't but I
00:27:46
don't know why that really confused me
00:27:48
as to why they needed to take them in
00:27:52
um
00:27:53
but when I see the photos of what they
00:27:55
looked like I completely understand why
00:27:57
they had to because they were literally
00:27:59
we were going to fall off otherwise yeah
00:28:00
because they were black so
00:28:03
um but yeah that was probably more of a
00:28:06
surprise and then Mum would obviously
00:28:08
fill me in a little bit little by little
00:28:10
as to what happened and
00:28:12
um so I could get my head around it
00:28:14
slowly
00:28:16
um yeah so you're out of the woods at
00:28:17
this stage
00:28:18
yeah I would I I would say so
00:28:22
fortunately for me my graphs talk really
00:28:24
well I never had to have any redone
00:28:27
um and so I was really lucky in that in
00:28:30
that respect and they they think because
00:28:32
I was cut into fitness beforehand that I
00:28:35
was reasonably healthy going in so they
00:28:38
don't know whether that was a thing or
00:28:41
whether I'm just lucky
00:28:43
um
00:28:43
so yeah so over those three weeks I
00:28:46
couldn't wait to get back to Palmerston
00:28:47
like I just was over Wellington
00:28:51
um and I I guess I just I needed to go
00:28:54
home like that's what I keep focusing on
00:28:56
I was like I just want to go home
00:28:58
um after that so yeah so how long are we
00:29:01
talking now for Hospital the time you
00:29:02
spending party plus the time you spent
00:29:04
in yeah so we're up to a couple of
00:29:06
months okay yeah no wonder you wanted to
00:29:08
get home yeah of course yeah so and like
00:29:10
no one could come no one really came to
00:29:13
visit because I they weren't they
00:29:15
couldn't because I was so acceptable to
00:29:17
bugs as well so they had to be very
00:29:19
careful about who visited and and
00:29:21
whatnot so I just had the same kind of
00:29:23
rotation of people coming
00:29:26
um which was fine like and then when I
00:29:28
got back to palmy I was able to see my
00:29:30
friends which was a big
00:29:33
um positive step in the right direction
00:29:35
but I wasn't released time I had to go
00:29:38
back to the palmy hospital
00:29:41
and so once they got me all sorted as
00:29:44
far as that's go then I went to the
00:29:46
rehabilitation ward in in palmy which
00:29:48
was probably my worst part of the whole
00:29:49
experience really why so
00:29:52
um because it's like 70 and 80 year olds
00:29:54
that are in there and here I was at 36
00:29:57
some of the nurses were too scared to
00:29:59
touch me like because of everything that
00:30:02
was going on
00:30:04
um in the end the ICU nurses would cause
00:30:06
I'm scared to touch you because you'd
00:30:08
yelping oh my grafting and yeah just
00:30:11
like the the you know the skin changing
00:30:14
and the scabs that were all over my body
00:30:17
and
00:30:18
yeah they just didn't really know how to
00:30:20
deal with that they hadn't seen anything
00:30:22
like it yeah yeah yeah it was a lot yeah
00:30:25
when you get a um yeah Polytech in
00:30:27
Palmerston to become a nurse You're not
00:30:29
expecting this no no no no and and
00:30:32
thankfully I had made good friends with
00:30:34
the people in the ICU unit and they
00:30:37
would come and visit me and um and they
00:30:39
would make sure I was doing all right
00:30:41
but it got to a point where I was over
00:30:44
it I was so over it and I just wanted to
00:30:47
get out just frustrated yeah and um so
00:30:50
my friend Kelly that was a nurse she
00:30:52
came and got me for the day I was
00:30:54
allowed to go out on day leave so she
00:30:55
came and got me and she took me back to
00:30:57
her house and I was in a wheelchair at
00:30:59
that point so that was navigating trying
00:31:01
to get in and out of cars Etc so this is
00:31:04
how long after the November when you got
00:31:07
sick so we're talking
00:31:09
um mid-January into January
00:31:12
so it's a Christmas that year yeah
00:31:14
totally yeah yeah but you did get
00:31:17
leagueless yeah I did so I shouldn't
00:31:20
make that joke you're the only one that
00:31:21
should be able to make that no no you're
00:31:23
fine okay so I've heard it all before
00:31:25
yeah so so we're up to mid-January now
00:31:27
and are you um so you're over it are you
00:31:30
um up until this point like have you
00:31:32
have you been like like positive and
00:31:34
optimistic or were you when you went in
00:31:36
like a deep depression or anything no no
00:31:38
and they were expecting me to do that
00:31:40
like I'd get the um people to come in
00:31:44
and they were how are you doing I'm like
00:31:46
yeah I'm good and then but they were
00:31:48
expecting me to say you know they're
00:31:50
like it's okay if you're not good and
00:31:52
I'm like I'm no I'm okay and
00:31:55
um
00:31:56
yeah they and it was almost like they
00:31:58
were expecting me to to have something
00:32:00
like some sort of reaction which is
00:32:02
probably quite normal yeah did that come
00:32:03
at some point no no no where does this
00:32:07
come from is this the is this just your
00:32:09
DNA is this what you were like
00:32:10
beforehand and you you know you've
00:32:12
always been like a just a tough
00:32:14
resilient person do you think I think I
00:32:17
think I probably I am like I don't
00:32:21
I mean regardless of how to happen how
00:32:23
resilient you are like no one ever faces
00:32:25
a challenge like that until they have to
00:32:27
face
00:32:28
yeah I know and you don't know how
00:32:31
you're going to react exactly so yeah
00:32:33
um well that's lucky because that would
00:32:35
have been yeah I was I was I was really
00:32:38
good
00:32:39
um I think there was a there was a patch
00:32:41
probably when I had left hospital and I
00:32:44
had started to go back to work etc there
00:32:47
was a patch where I would get a little
00:32:48
bit anxious about going into big
00:32:50
situations like big gatherings why
00:32:53
because of people staring at you or yeah
00:32:55
I don't know I think that might have
00:32:56
been it but I got I got over there that
00:32:58
just didn't last for that long
00:33:01
um but I do remember that little patch
00:33:03
yeah so at this point are you in a
00:33:05
wheelchair yep yeah okay so you've just
00:33:07
got like I'm imagining like bandaged
00:33:09
yeah so bandage stumps
00:33:12
um and they were really swollen
00:33:14
um because they take a while to you know
00:33:16
lose the fluid and stuff
00:33:19
um and so yeah in a wheelchair so of
00:33:21
course my left hand is not that good so
00:33:23
I just went around in circles in a
00:33:24
wheelchair I was hopeless I couldn't
00:33:26
Propel it at all
00:33:29
um so they're frustrated the hell out of
00:33:32
me so frustrated yeah so you needed
00:33:34
someone to push you essentially pretty
00:33:36
much so they end up getting me an
00:33:37
electric chair because I couldn't do it
00:33:39
by myself I just literally I would have
00:33:41
been useless in a wheelchair basketball
00:33:43
team or a rugby team like it just was
00:33:46
never going to be a thing
00:33:48
um and so yeah so uh Kelly came and got
00:33:52
me that day I went back to her house and
00:33:54
I said to her I don't want to go back
00:33:55
and she's like I'll ring them and you
00:33:58
can stay the night here and she said
00:34:00
we're nurses we've you know we know what
00:34:02
we're doing so she rung them and they
00:34:04
said yeah that's fine she needs to be
00:34:05
about the next day so um Kelly had made
00:34:07
a big bath and they'd managed to get me
00:34:10
into the bath and I did normal things
00:34:11
and it was like oh this is amazing you
00:34:14
know like and I had a nice sleep in a
00:34:16
nice big bed and it was just lovely
00:34:19
um so the next day when I woke I said to
00:34:21
Kelly I'm out I'm not going back
00:34:23
and she's like well we'll have to go
00:34:25
back to get you out and I was like yeah
00:34:27
okay so we pulled up to the rehab board
00:34:30
and we just started packing up my room
00:34:33
and the nurses come in and go over
00:34:35
what's happening and I'm out I'm leaving
00:34:37
and they're like
00:34:39
well and like they were trying to get
00:34:40
their heads around and I'm like I've had
00:34:41
enough I just need to go home and um and
00:34:45
so they said to me well if you discharge
00:34:48
yourself then
00:34:50
um you know if you need some more
00:34:53
medical assistance in the future you
00:34:56
won't be able to come back to the
00:34:57
hospital because you discharge yourself
00:34:58
and I was like man that's weird so
00:35:01
you're all in or you're all out yeah
00:35:03
yeah yeah and so okay yeah Kelly being a
00:35:06
nurse basically that's a load of
00:35:07
yeah fake news yeah and uh so
00:35:10
we packed up and and off we win and like
00:35:13
from that point on I never looked back
00:35:16
um
00:35:16
but at that before I had done that so
00:35:20
probably going back a two weeks before
00:35:21
we had this meeting with all the doctors
00:35:24
and all the physios and all everybody
00:35:25
there's a big room full of everyone and
00:35:27
it was me and Mum and so they sort of
00:35:30
gave me my diagnosis at that point so
00:35:32
they said to me that I would likely be
00:35:36
in hospital for 12 months
00:35:38
so we're at three months at this point
00:35:40
so I'd likely be there for 12 months
00:35:43
um I probably wouldn't walk again
00:35:45
because of the scarring on my legs they
00:35:48
wouldn't cope with the Prosthetics
00:35:51
and probably unlikely to go back to work
00:35:54
and I was thinking well that's awesome
00:35:56
yeah how does that conversation go down
00:35:59
yeah you mentioned before you were
00:36:00
physically active and physical person
00:36:02
prior to this
00:36:04
um yeah what's that moment like yeah you
00:36:06
told you're not going to walk again yeah
00:36:08
so I think at the time I was like
00:36:09
looking at them as if to say are you
00:36:11
serious so is the room just spinning or
00:36:13
yeah I was just like trying to absorb
00:36:15
what they were saying and I was you
00:36:17
burst into tears or what no I didn't I
00:36:19
went the other way I went and I'll prove
00:36:21
it right I'll prove you wrong don't
00:36:23
with Penny yeah I literally and I said
00:36:25
to mum that's not going to be my story
00:36:27
and I said no there's no way that I'm
00:36:30
gonna I said what is the point in
00:36:32
surviving if I can't do the things that
00:36:35
I want to do like I'm here I've got two
00:36:37
young kids the choice I need to make is
00:36:41
that I've got to live and I've got to
00:36:42
find my new normal and be able to make
00:36:45
that work for the best way that I can
00:36:47
for me and for them and I was definitely
00:36:50
not going to be in hospital for 12
00:36:52
months and I definitely was going to
00:36:54
walk again and there was just no way and
00:36:56
for my own mental state going back to
00:36:59
work was the best thing that I could
00:37:01
have ever done yeah how long was that
00:37:03
that was quite so nice six months yeah
00:37:05
six months later so you went back to the
00:37:06
same job yeah how was how was that so I
00:37:09
was so super lucky
00:37:11
um what were you doing by the way I was
00:37:13
working for user bus in Palmerston North
00:37:15
the bus company and um Justin Allen was
00:37:18
the managing director
00:37:20
um installers
00:37:22
um and they were amazing so the building
00:37:25
wasn't set up for a wheelchair so they
00:37:28
took down walls they
00:37:30
um moved shelves they had a bell in the
00:37:33
toilet in case I fell off the toilet
00:37:34
when I transferred from the from the um
00:37:38
wheelchair to the toilet like the girls
00:37:40
in the office went well over their job
00:37:42
description and helping me
00:37:44
um so they made my transition so easy
00:37:46
and they just made it work and I turned
00:37:49
up when I could turn up and I left when
00:37:52
I was tired fatigued yeah yeah there was
00:37:55
a lot going on with your body still at
00:37:56
this point yeah yeah so um initially
00:37:59
Justin thought I had set me up at home
00:38:01
and then he had a change of heart and
00:38:03
said actually if you come into the
00:38:05
office at least you're with people and
00:38:07
it's
00:38:08
um and it was the best decision yeah it
00:38:11
was in by by sort of two in the
00:38:13
afternoon they could see that the drugs
00:38:15
that I was still on were starting to
00:38:16
wear and and so they would they would
00:38:19
just call my Mobility taxi and come and
00:38:22
get me Chuck me in there in a way I'd go
00:38:24
home and sleep for the afternoon what
00:38:25
drugs like pain relief or yeah yeah yeah
00:38:27
you want anything now or no no no wow
00:38:31
that's amazing yeah should that's good
00:38:33
yeah do you just put that down to
00:38:35
determination
00:38:36
leather speedy recovery and just getting
00:38:38
back to
00:38:40
trying to figure out what your new
00:38:41
normal is yeah I'm pretty tunnel vision
00:38:43
like I do and I do
00:38:46
yeah I guess part of me was it was the
00:38:49
drive was having young kids yeah you
00:38:51
know and and wanting to be a a mum that
00:38:54
was still fully involved
00:38:56
um and then
00:38:58
I saw it's heaps to live for so I was
00:39:00
like you know I'm still alive I've got a
00:39:03
I can either I the way I said it to
00:39:04
myself I've got two choices I could
00:39:06
certainly feel sorry for myself and kind
00:39:08
of that be it or
00:39:10
go get go find what my new normal is and
00:39:13
and go go and
00:39:15
go and take on any challenge that came
00:39:18
along and that's literally what I did
00:39:19
and if I couldn't work it out I'd figure
00:39:22
a way how to work it out oh how this is
00:39:25
this is so cool for your kids what a
00:39:26
good role model yeah they think I'm a
00:39:29
tough mum however you are you're a
00:39:31
badass yes and
00:39:33
I'm just thinking if I was a double I
00:39:36
think I'm a people pleaser by Nature
00:39:37
I'll be the worst dog I'd be like no you
00:39:39
you'll be fine you'll walk your legs
00:39:40
will probably grow back even that's what
00:39:43
I would say I'd probably like I over
00:39:45
install confidence in people so so we're
00:39:47
uh so it's so you you have got
00:39:49
prosthetic legs now yeah um and you live
00:39:52
a very active life this is how I
00:39:53
discovered you through your Instagram
00:39:54
account fitness app amputee which we'll
00:39:56
get to
00:39:57
um so how did how did the leg thing come
00:39:59
about after you got told you wouldn't
00:40:00
walk again yeah so
00:40:02
um about so after that meeting I went
00:40:05
down to the Wellington limb Center
00:40:06
because it was the local one and they
00:40:08
they looked at my legs and they were in
00:40:10
a narrowing and thinking what what are
00:40:12
we going to do with these
00:40:13
um because of the scarring where were
00:40:15
they cut like uh just below the knee
00:40:17
yeah so I don't know how far down
00:40:20
um but the scarring was the problem
00:40:22
because traditionally with sockets
00:40:25
you've got like a liner on like a rubber
00:40:27
liner in the friction when you walk
00:40:29
because you're literally walking in like
00:40:31
buckets so you're just like sitting in
00:40:33
it and so the friction is quite a lot
00:40:37
and they thought my skin would break
00:40:39
down all the time which it did
00:40:41
um so they end up getting thicker liners
00:40:43
and I kind of got by with that but I
00:40:46
watched like a robot like I literally
00:40:48
wobbled from side to side and it was it
00:40:51
was like a 1970s robot yeah and it was
00:40:54
hard like it was hard work it was
00:40:56
exhausting
00:40:57
um in yeah that whole transition was
00:41:00
hard but I did it for six years like
00:41:02
that
00:41:04
um and then I discovered that my I was
00:41:06
getting new sockets made all the time
00:41:08
because my legs just lose volume over
00:41:10
there so you wake up in the morning
00:41:12
where you've been lying horizontal all
00:41:13
night when you stand up your legs are a
00:41:16
lot bigger but by the afternoon of
00:41:19
walking on them all day mine were shrink
00:41:21
like enormously so I was forever getting
00:41:24
new leaks made and I was getting really
00:41:25
frustrated with the system down there
00:41:28
um at one point they said to me oh
00:41:30
there's not much else we can do so you
00:41:31
can either have those legs or you can go
00:41:33
back into a wheelchair and so that kind
00:41:36
of for someone like me to say that it
00:41:38
was like not received well yeah
00:41:42
um and so then I started looking around
00:41:44
and I looked over in Aussie and I went
00:41:48
to Australia looking at
00:41:50
well I went to a like a Expo and I was
00:41:54
thinking that I was more looking for the
00:41:56
feet thing to give me more flexibility
00:41:58
when I walked rather than being a robot
00:42:00
because my knees and hips were getting
00:42:02
sore because I wasn't walking normally
00:42:06
um so that's what I my intentions were
00:42:08
was to go and find some sort of better
00:42:11
feet option
00:42:12
when I got there I was looking around
00:42:14
and I was talking to one of the brands
00:42:17
you know to people
00:42:19
and he said to me
00:42:21
or you should go next door and listen to
00:42:23
the surgeon that's speaking about Osteo
00:42:25
integration and I said I can't have
00:42:27
Osteo integration because I'm baloney
00:42:29
and he goes you're a kiwi and I am and
00:42:32
he goes That's because you they don't
00:42:34
know in New Zealand that you that it is
00:42:36
an option and I was like oh okay and so
00:42:39
I win and by the way just pausing you
00:42:42
there that seems absurd yeah that you
00:42:44
can be a three-hour flight away and
00:42:45
there are yeah anyway yeah yeah that's
00:42:48
an eye roll moment yeah it is an eye
00:42:49
roll moment and I always felt like the
00:42:52
um limb centers it was like a secret
00:42:54
society almost like they didn't give you
00:42:56
too much information about stuff and
00:42:58
I've learned so much more about
00:43:00
Prosthetics with having my connections
00:43:03
in Australia since
00:43:05
um so I went and sat in and listened so
00:43:09
it was with um
00:43:11
Professor mongodel Medeiros are you a
00:43:14
big fan of his work
00:43:16
he's an incredible guy yeah yeah I bet
00:43:19
um so he's got a story of his own he's a
00:43:21
refugee from Iraq and came out on the
00:43:24
boats and so he's got his own book Etc
00:43:26
all about that anyway he was an
00:43:28
orthopedic surgeon and
00:43:30
he always wanted to give back to and
00:43:33
make lives easier for amputees so
00:43:38
he remembers watching the Terminator as
00:43:40
a kid and thought I could do that for
00:43:43
amputees and it has been around for many
00:43:46
many years like in Sweden and Germany
00:43:49
but they hadn't quite perfected it the
00:43:51
way munjid has now
00:43:54
um and so I was listening to him he was
00:43:57
talking about baloney I was like this is
00:43:59
okay this is positive I'm liking this
00:44:02
and weirdly after he finished speaking
00:44:05
he came and sat next to me so it was
00:44:07
like it was meant to be and
00:44:10
um I said to him
00:44:12
so you do do below knee and he goes yep
00:44:16
he goes That's what I just said because
00:44:17
he's got that kind of manner and I was
00:44:19
like okay and he goes you're a kiwi and
00:44:22
I went yeah he goes are you interested
00:44:23
and I said yeah I am he goes when do you
00:44:25
go home and I see Tuesday and he goes
00:44:27
come and see me tomorrow so this was a
00:44:29
Sunday
00:44:30
so I um and then the lunch break has
00:44:35
um off-site a Belinda came and sat with
00:44:37
me and her auntie had died of
00:44:39
meningococcal so she kind of resonated
00:44:41
with my story and
00:44:43
um so anyway I went out the next day he
00:44:46
did all the tests on me bone density
00:44:48
scans
00:44:49
just to make sure that I had strong
00:44:52
enough bones for it
00:44:54
um told me the whopping price
00:44:58
and basically what I needed to do so I
00:45:01
needed to go back I needed to go back to
00:45:03
one of his clinics have some
00:45:05
psychological testing to make sure that
00:45:07
I was okay that I was an amputee that I
00:45:10
was going to be okay with a piece of
00:45:11
metal hanging out my leg oh really what
00:45:13
is it like a counseling session or is it
00:45:15
a quick questionnaire what is it uh it's
00:45:17
a one-on-one right with a psychologist
00:45:19
and they just ask you random questions
00:45:21
about about your life how it happened
00:45:25
um what you do currently so they're
00:45:27
trying to assess whether you're hiding
00:45:28
away from The Real World or whether
00:45:30
you're still out there being involved
00:45:33
um
00:45:34
so I passed there obviously I was did
00:45:36
you have to think about the answers like
00:45:38
were you thinking what would be the
00:45:39
correct thing to say here you just
00:45:41
answered I just answered honestly yeah
00:45:42
I'm in then yeah and I met a couple of
00:45:47
um amputees there so I could see the
00:45:49
product I could see how they were
00:45:51
walking what they were doing and it blew
00:45:53
my mind I was like this is amazing
00:45:56
um so it's it is
00:45:58
really amazing technology so that it's
00:46:01
literally it's a titanium rod that is
00:46:04
implanted into the tibia bone for me or
00:46:07
the femur for above
00:46:10
um through surgical procedures my rehab
00:46:13
was two years letting the bone and the
00:46:16
implant integrate into each other which
00:46:19
is a slow process so what does that two
00:46:21
years look like so that was wheelchair
00:46:23
so you go right back to the ground
00:46:25
Groundhog Day so you have to have your
00:46:27
head back in that space so back to a
00:46:31
wheelchair then once that was kind of
00:46:34
around a month and then I was up on legs
00:46:37
with two crutches taking most of the
00:46:40
weight so and then once you got through
00:46:43
that then you dropped one crutch and
00:46:45
then you're loading like about 20
00:46:48
and then you move forward to no crutches
00:46:52
and then you just start walking not
00:46:55
overdoing it how's that in the beginning
00:46:56
is it what's as the balance once
00:46:58
difficult or is it painful on the on the
00:47:02
stumps or the bones weirdly it's not
00:47:05
painful you would think it would be but
00:47:06
it's not if it it looks painful like you
00:47:09
you lifted up your actually do you want
00:47:11
to lift up your leg now so we can see it
00:47:12
on only if you want to I don't mind
00:47:15
um it looks painful looks like it should
00:47:17
be painful but it's not painful at all
00:47:19
no not at all
00:47:21
um just for the people that are watching
00:47:23
this on YouTube for anyone that's um
00:47:24
listening to the audio version you won't
00:47:26
see this so that's that stays on by the
00:47:30
way cool New Balance shoes aren't they
00:47:31
cool yeah so what bit comes off so
00:47:35
so this part
00:47:36
closest to my leg Yeah is in me
00:47:38
permanently and there as an using Allen
00:47:42
key and I take from there off down so
00:47:45
when you go to bed at night what do you
00:47:47
some people leave them on yeah I don't I
00:47:49
take my legs off
00:47:51
yeah you've never had a thing where
00:47:53
you've woken up and you've forgotten and
00:47:54
tried to get it no no no no no no
00:47:58
that is amazing technology isn't it it's
00:48:01
incredible yeah
00:48:03
um but the the coolest thing about it is
00:48:05
that for me because I was only an
00:48:07
amputee six months six years before
00:48:09
having the surgery it's reconnected all
00:48:12
my wires and so I can feel the ground
00:48:15
the concrete the grass
00:48:17
yeah how yeah that's amazing
00:48:22
holy that's incredible yeah and that's
00:48:24
something they didn't know was going to
00:48:26
happen with the surgery and it's just
00:48:27
over the
00:48:29
um time so if you were born
00:48:31
an amputee like you know you don't have
00:48:33
that connection yeah so that doesn't
00:48:35
happen but the the least time that you
00:48:37
have been in a socket before you go to
00:48:40
Osteo integration
00:48:42
generally people are feeling
00:48:44
yeah the differences and and what about
00:48:46
Phantom pains
00:48:48
can't get it I've been fortunate I I
00:48:50
I've been really fortunate I did have it
00:48:52
right at the very beginning and it's
00:48:54
excruciating and horrible
00:48:56
um but yeah I'm really I'm one of the
00:48:59
really lucky ones I do take magnesium
00:49:01
and I'm religious with magnesium
00:49:04
um and I have done it from as soon as I
00:49:07
got the surgery monget said start taking
00:49:09
magnesium and I take it religiously
00:49:11
every night and I don't know whether
00:49:13
that helps
00:49:14
um or not but I've always been really
00:49:17
active so I don't know I just some
00:49:20
people it's really horrible but I am
00:49:22
I've been lucky that that hasn't
00:49:24
affected me
00:49:25
yeah you're remarkable aren't you
00:49:28
you you really are like meningitis
00:49:31
picked the wrong person yeah I know it
00:49:33
really did it shut your teeth I suppose
00:49:35
times like this you find out just how
00:49:36
tough you are yeah yeah people
00:49:39
say that like they always say you know
00:49:41
you're one strong lady or whatever and
00:49:44
it's like yeah I guess I am I don't
00:49:46
really think about it I just do what I
00:49:48
want to do and make sure that I'm doing
00:49:50
it the best way that I can and having
00:49:53
this surgery so while having to go all
00:49:56
the way back so I did have to learn to
00:49:58
walk again because the wobbling that I
00:50:00
was doing in the sockets wasn't how this
00:50:03
was going to work with the implant so
00:50:05
the implant is aligned like laser
00:50:08
aligned so that you're completely 100 in
00:50:11
line with your legs and um so I had to
00:50:14
learn I had to go right back to the
00:50:16
beginning and I lost that thought I had
00:50:18
to say it to be like a 36 37 year old
00:50:21
learning to walk again yeah it was weird
00:50:22
like it was rewarding because I was
00:50:25
taking my first steps again in this new
00:50:28
system frustrating as well because I
00:50:30
just wanted to go
00:50:32
um and I had to be patient I'm not the
00:50:35
most patient person in the world
00:50:37
um and being patient I had to learn that
00:50:39
really a lot because I had to wait for a
00:50:43
few years before I could actually start
00:50:44
doing what I could really wanted to do
00:50:48
um which was like exercise yeah yeah and
00:50:52
just keeping up with day-to-day life
00:50:53
like you know like generally in a socket
00:50:56
I would if I was invited somewhere I
00:50:58
would have to think about the access I
00:51:00
would have to think about how I was
00:51:02
going to get in and out
00:51:04
um was the ground going to be slippery
00:51:06
was it you know all those things would
00:51:07
run through my head in preparation of
00:51:10
going anywhere now I don't even think
00:51:12
about it I just do it I can walk up the
00:51:14
hills in Wellington I can
00:51:17
I just do life like to the fullest and I
00:51:20
can keep up with all my family my
00:51:22
friends
00:51:23
um yeah how much was that operation you
00:51:26
said you said what you want to go there
00:51:29
and I just remembered you said before it
00:51:32
cost a ton of money
00:51:33
not covered by any sort of insurance or
00:51:36
no did you set up a give a little or
00:51:38
anything like that I did um we did do
00:51:40
some crowdfunding and that that
00:51:42
definitely helped
00:51:44
um if you don't if you don't want to
00:51:45
answer you don't have to answer but well
00:51:47
it's a it's a really good size deposit
00:51:49
on a house oh my God yeah
00:51:52
yeah but necessary for you the quality
00:51:55
of life you've got I'd never go back
00:51:57
like money well spent yeah it was money
00:51:59
well spent and I was really fortunate
00:52:01
like manger was really
00:52:04
very very giving for me because I was as
00:52:07
first kiwi and first miniature cockle
00:52:10
patient
00:52:11
um he kind of gave me a pretty
00:52:13
discounted rate so he contributed a lot
00:52:15
to to my surgery as well so I was really
00:52:19
super lucky with that then some
00:52:23
crowdfunding and then
00:52:25
um yeah paid the rest lived on spaghetti
00:52:27
for a while
00:52:29
um but yeah so we got there in the end
00:52:32
um and I'm I for quality of life it's
00:52:35
it's money well spent I would never not
00:52:37
have it now it's not for everybody for
00:52:39
sure
00:52:41
um and it seems to be that people that
00:52:43
have are not healthy on the inside don't
00:52:45
always respond that well to Osteo
00:52:47
integration so
00:52:49
um yeah you've kind of gotta you have to
00:52:51
keep yourself healthy yeah
00:52:54
I mean we've established that you're
00:52:56
strong and you're resilient and and very
00:52:59
very tough but there must have been some
00:53:01
like
00:53:01
just I don't know awful days or awful
00:53:04
moments
00:53:05
we just frustration gets the better of
00:53:07
you yeah they generally happened at the
00:53:09
limb Center
00:53:11
just out of frustration yeah it was
00:53:13
really frustrating and that whole socket
00:53:16
journey I hated I really did it was I
00:53:18
found it really restricting
00:53:19
[Music]
00:53:21
um and super frustrating and that was
00:53:24
probably yeah that was that was tough
00:53:26
because it just it didn't work for me
00:53:30
um and my quality of life was nowhere
00:53:33
near what it is now with those sockets
00:53:36
um
00:53:37
and yeah I guess there were times you
00:53:40
know like when the kids were going on
00:53:42
school camp and things like that and I
00:53:44
would have loved to have been a peer and
00:53:45
help but physically that wasn't
00:53:47
something I could do at that time so
00:53:50
yeah I had to kind of suck those kind of
00:53:53
situations up and just just feel sorry
00:53:56
for yourself for a brief period of time
00:53:58
out of it yeah yeah yeah I don't tend to
00:54:01
tend to dwell
00:54:02
on it I like I just want to enjoy the
00:54:06
light I've got yeah how how can other
00:54:08
people
00:54:09
um take some of that take some of that
00:54:11
magic juice like what would you what
00:54:13
would you message me or like you know
00:54:16
maybe it's just part of your your DNA
00:54:18
and and who you are and your personality
00:54:20
but there's got to be takeaways for
00:54:22
other people that you know go through
00:54:23
about how they can deal with it and
00:54:25
make them make the best of a bad
00:54:27
situation what do you reckon yeah yeah
00:54:29
what's your advice
00:54:31
oh I don't know
00:54:34
um
00:54:36
I don't know I guess like on one side
00:54:38
you've got to want to do it but you've
00:54:40
you really you have to dig deep like I
00:54:42
had to dig deep so many times to push
00:54:45
you to get keep going
00:54:48
um
00:54:49
so yeah you gotta you gotta want to do
00:54:51
it and
00:54:52
just never give up like I don't give up
00:54:54
I just if I can't do something I'll
00:54:56
figure out a way how to do it or if it's
00:54:58
not quite now it's something I can work
00:55:00
towards in the future to make that
00:55:03
happen so there were plenty of over the
00:55:06
seven years there was plenty of those
00:55:08
kind of situations where I can't quite
00:55:11
do that now but then in a year's time I
00:55:13
could do it if I just keep chipping away
00:55:17
um keeping healthy is is a big thing
00:55:20
like what you Feed and Fuel your body is
00:55:22
just so much
00:55:24
helps with everyday life I reckon yeah
00:55:27
was that was that a Cornerstone of your
00:55:29
life before the meningitis not not as
00:55:32
much as a focus like I've have a lot
00:55:35
like I eat and drink a lot of protein
00:55:39
um and that's because it feeds my bones
00:55:41
and helps with my legs so
00:55:45
um I have a really quite a high protein
00:55:47
diet and water I just drink an enormous
00:55:51
amount of it because I need to keep
00:55:52
flushing my kidneys and keep all those
00:55:55
internal organs ticking over so
00:55:58
um it's quite a focus for me yeah I
00:56:01
drink a lot of water as well but I'll
00:56:02
tell you what I'm not I'm urinating just
00:56:04
a teaspoon of wheat there's a lot more
00:56:06
than that coming out more frequently as
00:56:07
well yeah me too now yeah yeah so the um
00:56:10
the Instagram account
00:56:11
um the fitness amputee by the way you
00:56:13
should have way more followers than what
00:56:15
you do have it seems astonishing to me
00:56:18
because it you know you're remarkable
00:56:20
and it's inspiring and all these and
00:56:22
motivating so it should have more so
00:56:25
hopefully we can boost that up a little
00:56:26
bit but when when did Jesus decide to do
00:56:27
that
00:56:28
and set that up and sort of become your
00:56:30
public I guess with your like recovery
00:56:32
and your progress and your journey yeah
00:56:34
I guess
00:56:36
um
00:56:37
so once I'd gone through the rehab and I
00:56:40
was coming out the other side that's
00:56:42
when when generally walking was becoming
00:56:45
easy and I could walk a distance and not
00:56:48
you know have any inkling of any pain or
00:56:51
anything like that like a pain in the
00:56:53
sense that I've overdone it so once that
00:56:55
was becoming normal that's when I
00:56:58
thought so I got a
00:57:01
bike like just an exercise bike because
00:57:04
I used to do spin classes and that was
00:57:06
my favorite thing and I thought maybe I
00:57:08
could try that biking's not putting too
00:57:10
much pressure on my implant
00:57:12
Etc yep so I started biking and then it
00:57:15
kind of just grew from there
00:57:17
um and I did I did my first challenge
00:57:21
like a fitness challenge with Shane
00:57:24
Hunter and Palmerston North who is a
00:57:27
bodybuilder and he did this Challenge on
00:57:30
a on a um just as a for his friends and
00:57:33
family really and so I did that and I
00:57:37
was surprised at what I could do and by
00:57:40
no means what I was I doing what I'm
00:57:42
doing now but it was my start of of that
00:57:47
whole journey and then I really enjoyed
00:57:50
the challenge I spent so I liked that
00:57:52
period of time and having because I'm
00:57:55
kind of driven by time like with
00:57:58
you know
00:57:59
um
00:58:00
an eight-week challenge is like okay
00:58:02
I've got eight weeks to do this and see
00:58:04
the improvements along the way and I
00:58:06
started videoing myself because I could
00:58:08
see what I was doing then and it was
00:58:09
more for my own benefit it was like oh
00:58:12
god what the hell are you doing there
00:58:13
like that looks really odd well you know
00:58:15
you need to do this better or whatever
00:58:19
um and so after that challenger'd finish
00:58:22
I went looking for the next challenge
00:58:23
and I signed up with these girls from
00:58:25
Australia it was called move with us and
00:58:28
I was with them for three years and
00:58:30
became one of their ambassadors because
00:58:33
they were Amazed by what I could do too
00:58:35
and so I was just starting again with
00:58:38
challenges I literally just for three
00:58:40
years went from challenge to challenge
00:58:41
all different ones some were Pilates
00:58:43
some were like glute work some was all
00:58:47
over I was just depending what they what
00:58:49
was happening and I loved it and I just
00:58:51
started connecting with other people
00:58:54
um one of my friends in Australia who's
00:58:55
also an amputee Linda she does them too
00:58:58
so her and I were like kind of Sidekicks
00:59:01
together doing it
00:59:03
um
00:59:03
and then recently so where I got quite a
00:59:08
bit of my growth was with a girl in
00:59:11
Hamilton which was Elevate and it was
00:59:15
with Nick and she I saw the most amount
00:59:20
of growth in my time with her eight-week
00:59:22
Challenge
00:59:23
and she she knew my limitations and also
00:59:28
would try and tweak the program a little
00:59:31
bit for me but yeah I grew so much
00:59:34
strength in that eight weeks
00:59:37
to now
00:59:39
feeling like I'm stronger than I was
00:59:41
before yeah yeah yeah
00:59:45
um which leads me to this question which
00:59:47
is um probably a very I don't know if
00:59:50
it's an inappropriate question it's
00:59:51
probably a very difficult one to answer
00:59:52
but if you could go back to 2009
00:59:54
and choose to
00:59:56
have the the meningitis and everything
00:59:59
that's come or not have it Baron made
01:00:01
all the bad stuff that's happened all
01:00:02
the good stuff that's happened as well
01:00:04
um would you change it would you change
01:00:06
anything
01:00:08
um
01:00:10
probably I think the reason I get
01:00:12
emotional when I talk about it is
01:00:14
because of what everyone else went
01:00:15
through not necessarily what I went
01:00:17
through and so when I think about that
01:00:19
time way back it's about
01:00:22
um my mum and my dad and you know the
01:00:25
kids and all that and even what everyone
01:00:27
went through and that's what makes me
01:00:29
emotional more than what I went through
01:00:31
like I just think God it must have been
01:00:33
heart-wrenching for them to sit there
01:00:35
and see that happening
01:00:37
um but as far as your question goes I
01:00:39
think it's made me the person I am now
01:00:41
and
01:00:44
the journey I look at life so
01:00:45
differently yeah and it's such an
01:00:48
unselfish answer yeah and I just I don't
01:00:50
know I kind of seize the moment now like
01:00:53
we're I don't often say no to things
01:00:55
like I I like to do stuff with people
01:00:58
um and I just look at I just look at
01:01:01
life differently and I just think you
01:01:04
know let's do it why not
01:01:07
so yeah yeah just reflect on that period
01:01:10
like you you just can't imagine have you
01:01:12
I'm guessing you've had numerous
01:01:13
conversations with your mum or your
01:01:15
parents about it that must have been
01:01:16
just um
01:01:18
stuff of nightmares I know it's that
01:01:20
period yeah are you a blissfully out of
01:01:22
it you were on morphine or whatever yeah
01:01:23
I was I was asleep I had no idea what
01:01:26
they were going through I know like my
01:01:28
mum and my brother and all of them like
01:01:30
they literally took over the waiting
01:01:31
room in ICU and they they slept there
01:01:33
for days on end
01:01:36
um because they just never knew like mum
01:01:37
said she just couldn't leave me like
01:01:39
because she didn't know if I was gonna
01:01:41
still be there the next day so she just
01:01:43
couldn't take herself away so it would
01:01:46
have
01:01:47
um oh it would have been horrendous and
01:01:49
then and then this other admin to deal
01:01:51
with like the you know the coming up
01:01:53
with the narrative that they're going to
01:01:54
tell the kids um you know because you
01:01:56
can't feed the kids too much information
01:01:57
and you no yeah man yeah so it's yeah
01:02:02
it's and it's interesting but yeah I I
01:02:05
it has definitely shaped who I am and
01:02:09
um I it is what it is for me now and I
01:02:14
don't hide my legs like in the in the
01:02:16
summertime I wear shorts everybody says
01:02:19
um at me and I'm just used to just
01:02:21
blocking it out
01:02:23
um kids are hilarious because they're
01:02:24
like oh no filter you're a robot
01:02:28
it's kind of cool yeah
01:02:30
um how long was it
01:02:32
um that you were I mean you came in here
01:02:34
today we're wearing long pants and you
01:02:36
you don't walk like a robot you just
01:02:37
walk normally so there's no way of
01:02:39
knowing but
01:02:40
um your hands are definitely messed up
01:02:41
yeah how how long were you
01:02:43
self-conscious of them did you find
01:02:44
yourself sort of tucking them under your
01:02:46
armpits especially still do that do you
01:02:48
yeah I think I still do that with my
01:02:50
hands can you just sense people staring
01:02:53
or you fear they're gonna steer or yeah
01:02:55
I think it's become a real Habit to pop
01:02:58
my left hand in my pocket majority of
01:03:00
the time or under my arm
01:03:02
um I don't know I just think it's become
01:03:04
a thing yeah with it and now I do it
01:03:07
without even realizing I'm doing it um
01:03:09
but when I'm at work like I'm typing
01:03:11
away and I can type and carry on like
01:03:13
it's not I'm not limited in that regard
01:03:17
um
01:03:18
but it's yeah I don't know it's just
01:03:21
something I do tuck away but with my
01:03:23
legs I'm just like whatever yeah yeah
01:03:25
and have you had any therapy or
01:03:27
counseling over the years or just those
01:03:29
sessions before you had the operation
01:03:30
yeah yeah that's it that's it man you're
01:03:34
a tough guy and I Jesus when you think
01:03:37
about it now isn't it like you know I
01:03:39
don't know I suppose with you with your
01:03:41
kids you're just mum so maybe it's not
01:03:43
not a sort of conversation that you
01:03:44
really have but have you sat down with
01:03:46
them and you know like talked about
01:03:48
things in sort of depth or detail yeah
01:03:50
they they know everything yeah they know
01:03:52
how it was they know that I you know
01:03:55
nearly died
01:03:57
um are they at an age now where they can
01:03:58
sort of like appreciate just how
01:04:00
remarkable you are well not really
01:04:02
you're just mum you're a pain in the ass
01:04:07
they don't I mean like Jade was three
01:04:09
and Sam was seven so that majority of
01:04:12
their life I've been this way yeah so
01:04:16
um they don't yeah they don't it just
01:04:19
doesn't and all of their friends that
01:04:20
come and go at home they all know the
01:04:22
story
01:04:23
um they they just accept me for who I am
01:04:26
and yeah it's never it's just never a
01:04:30
problem oh no I don't mean like that I
01:04:32
just I I'm thinking from a point of
01:04:35
being an ore of you as their as their
01:04:37
mum and I feel like as they maybe as
01:04:38
they get older and they get a bit more
01:04:41
um you know aware of the world around
01:04:43
them and things they'll become more like
01:04:46
more more of a fan of you I guess than
01:04:48
what you've done and hopefully like
01:04:49
listening to a conversation like this
01:04:51
will make them realize like you've been
01:04:52
through a lot and you've done it with a
01:04:54
smile on your face and you've grit your
01:04:55
teeth and yeah you know you haven't you
01:04:58
you know you haven't given up on
01:04:59
yourself or on them no it's it's cool
01:05:02
yeah and I guess they're probably the
01:05:04
driving force too because you know like
01:05:06
they they we had to adapt and learn from
01:05:10
a young age how to replay you know spend
01:05:13
time with them because I couldn't get
01:05:15
down on the floor with them so we would
01:05:17
have little tables and we'd work cat
01:05:18
different things that we could do as
01:05:20
opposed to running outside and you know
01:05:22
mucking around because it wasn't
01:05:24
something I could do so we just
01:05:26
re-learned what we could do together at
01:05:28
those times and then they've just grown
01:05:30
with me at each stage that I've gone and
01:05:33
now they don't even they don't see it
01:05:35
they don't see that I'm an amputee
01:05:37
because it just is what it is and yeah
01:05:40
they don't and when people say to them
01:05:42
is your mum an amputee they're like oh
01:05:44
yeah and that's all they say yeah but I
01:05:46
suppose there's there's nothing that you
01:05:48
can't do though there isn't now yeah no
01:05:50
now there's no I don't have any
01:05:52
limitations at all
01:05:54
um yeah so I just so they they don't see
01:05:58
there either
01:05:59
um of anything they always laugh and say
01:06:02
that when they're sick
01:06:04
they're not sick in my eyes because
01:06:06
they're not really that sick and they're
01:06:08
like man you're so tough like you know
01:06:10
yeah they are they the same as your or
01:06:13
like are they are they quite um quite
01:06:15
tough cookies I've had to make them that
01:06:16
way in some ways because I don't let
01:06:18
them
01:06:19
have days off school
01:06:23
that was in the 1980s it was different
01:06:25
back then yeah yeah so I remember Jade
01:06:28
and she still remembers it like her toe
01:06:30
she had a sore toe and she kept going on
01:06:32
about and I'm like you'll be right
01:06:33
you'll be right it must be nice to have
01:06:35
toes yeah and then a week later it's
01:06:37
like fully infected and it's like okay
01:06:39
we better go to the doctor and she's
01:06:41
like geez mum I'm like I'm sorry like
01:06:43
you know I should have listened more
01:06:45
it's not that bad it could be worse it
01:06:48
could be worse yeah yeah so they've kind
01:06:50
of had to suck it up a lot so yeah I
01:06:52
guess they are probably quite tough
01:06:54
cookies and in a lot of ways yeah yeah
01:06:57
oh good stuff and and um how long how
01:07:00
long was it after
01:07:01
um losing the limbs that you that you
01:07:03
dreamed yourself without limbs
01:07:07
does that make sense I've had um I've
01:07:10
had numerous um numerous people on the
01:07:12
podcast
01:07:13
um Rachel wine and Liam alone couple of
01:07:15
amputees and uh Brett smailer and
01:07:17
another guy called um Kerry Suter who um
01:07:20
went from being able able-bodied to
01:07:21
being you know quadriplegics overnight
01:07:23
and there's a theory that um
01:07:27
that when you start dreaming yourself as
01:07:30
an amputee as and how you are that's
01:07:32
when you've truly come to accept it no
01:07:34
okay
01:07:35
haven't heard that before haven't you no
01:07:37
yeah no secret society they don't tell
01:07:40
you the story there you go yeah
01:07:42
um
01:07:44
I don't know I don't know if I've ever
01:07:46
had that thought
01:07:50
yeah it's just yeah I mean sometimes
01:07:54
I still get that that's like and you
01:07:57
it's weird what you what the brain does
01:07:59
like
01:08:01
I might have an itchy toe and I reach
01:08:03
down to scratch my tone it's not even
01:08:04
there but you have that sensation like
01:08:07
that happens a lot
01:08:09
that's kind of like that Phantom thing
01:08:11
yeah yeah so you can feel like the other
01:08:15
day I walked to work in the rain
01:08:17
and I felt like my feet were wet all day
01:08:19
and they probably were but I shouldn't
01:08:21
be able to feel that but I could that's
01:08:25
so interesting
01:08:26
yeah yeah so how old are you now what
01:08:28
are you 14 49 50. come on well 51 no 48
01:08:33
49 49. it's that big one this year oh is
01:08:36
it what are you doing I don't know
01:08:39
not accepting that very well oh really
01:08:41
no why I don't really want to turn 50.
01:08:44
oh come on grow up what do you already
01:08:46
have yeah and I I must admit I'd have a
01:08:50
big party I just had like a quiet dinner
01:08:51
party dinner party I was like I just
01:08:52
want to let it go but um it should be
01:08:54
something that's celebrated yeah I know
01:08:56
especially with what you've been through
01:08:57
yeah yeah yeah and the second half of
01:08:59
your life How's that gonna look what do
01:09:00
you want to do what do you want to
01:09:01
achieve
01:09:03
um
01:09:04
at the moment I am working
01:09:07
um so I'm a contractor so kind of
01:09:10
working for myself and and lots of ways
01:09:13
but I'm working for stats New Zealand in
01:09:16
the payroll team so that's been my bread
01:09:18
and butter literally his payroll
01:09:21
um so I'm pretty busy in there at the
01:09:23
moment
01:09:25
um
01:09:26
I'd love to work with amputees at some
01:09:29
stage just to
01:09:31
show them that what is possible and what
01:09:34
you can do
01:09:36
whether that is alongside at some point
01:09:39
or or what I have no idea what that
01:09:42
would be but that is something that irks
01:09:44
away at me about I'd love to be able to
01:09:47
do something along those lines just to
01:09:49
help others
01:09:51
carry on with your life when something
01:09:54
like this has happened
01:09:56
um
01:09:58
yeah and literally yeah just that other
01:10:00
half isn't it from 50 the other half of
01:10:03
your life well I recorded a podcast this
01:10:06
morning with um with a guy called Arch
01:10:08
jelly who used to be the coach of um
01:10:09
John Walker and he's he turns 101 in a
01:10:12
couple of months wow and he's fit and
01:10:14
he's healthy and he's vibrant and he's
01:10:16
he's uh mentally sharp yeah so yeah you
01:10:20
and I we shouldn't be winding down the
01:10:21
clock we should be just getting started
01:10:23
yeah that's it yeah and I do look at it
01:10:25
like that too like I just think I've got
01:10:27
heaps to do you know there's heaps of
01:10:29
life left to live isn't there and I'm
01:10:31
lucky I'm still here so and I'm healthy
01:10:35
so you know I can do
01:10:37
whatever really 100 100 you should be
01:10:41
getting your story out there as much as
01:10:42
what you can because you're um oh how do
01:10:44
you feel being called inspiring
01:10:45
does it sit comfortably with you or
01:10:48
some people feel real weird about it it
01:10:50
is a bit weird because you don't really
01:10:52
um
01:10:53
myself like that yeah but I suppose you
01:10:55
can you've been through a big thing and
01:10:56
no one knows how they're going to react
01:10:58
until they're they're faced with that
01:10:59
big thing yeah and you've um you've
01:11:01
faced it with uh courage and Grace and
01:11:03
dignity yeah yeah I think I think that
01:11:06
makes you inspiring yeah yeah people do
01:11:09
use that a lot yeah and and strong is
01:11:11
the other words that they use a lot but
01:11:15
um yeah I guess my kids are or Sam's 20
01:11:18
he's about to head off overseas
01:11:21
um in Jade 17 so she's only got one more
01:11:23
year left at work at school so they're
01:11:26
about to I'm probably more unhappy about
01:11:28
that yeah they're starting to go off and
01:11:31
live their own lives and it's like oh
01:11:33
you don't need me anymore yeah yeah yeah
01:11:36
yeah it kind of that's a bit sad that's
01:11:38
kind of yeah that's I suppose that's
01:11:39
just in its own sort of way a sense of
01:11:41
loss yeah it's weird like yeah it is it
01:11:43
is kind of it's like oh it's all
01:11:45
happening at once and I'm turning 50 at
01:11:46
the same time all right come on you've
01:11:49
survived meningitis you can survive this
01:11:51
you've got this I believe in you hey
01:11:53
Penny Taylor thank you so much for
01:11:54
coming on the podcast and sharing your
01:11:55
story sorry no problem I really
01:11:57
appreciate it and really nice to
01:11:58
reconnect again I know funny isn't it
01:12:00
it's a small world it really is
01:12:03
[Music]
01:12:17
thank you
