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Penny Taylor - Surviving Meningococcal, Life as Double Amputee, and more!

August 27, 2023 / 01:12:19

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hey Runners only with dime Harley

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Runners only with dom Harvey and um

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evidently an old friend of mine Penny

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Taylor hello hi how you doing yeah

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you're good this is slightly awkward we

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just established that we're like old

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mates from palmy North you you were good

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friends with my girlfriend Kim I was

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remember and I'm sorry

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a lot a million years ago yeah it is

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wonderful to have you around here on the

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podcast uh we follow each other on

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Instagram I've been inspired by you I

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know a lot of people that'll be

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listening to this or watching this will

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be like I don't know who Penny Taylor is

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um and if that's you I urge you to stick

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around because it's a it's a hell of a

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ride

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well this has been your reality for like

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the last 14 years and I I wonder this is

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the first time you've gone on a podcast

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um how do you like how does it make you

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feel when you tell the story

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um sometimes like one-on-one I'm really

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good I can just tell the story to a big

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crowd I get emotional which is weird

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um and I've never really I've always

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shied away really I haven't really

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talked about it that much I'm okay with

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it

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um but just have really put all my

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energy and focus into recovery and

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surviving those first few years and now

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thriving yeah oh it's it's so

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inspirational the the getting emotional

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in a big room thing do you think that's

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because you sort of feed off the energy

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of the crowd you see the the emotion

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that they're going through and you sort

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of feed off that maybe yeah I don't know

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it's just something weird it's like I

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know other people that can stand up and

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talk about their stories like really

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confidently and I admire them but it's

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just not something I can do really yeah

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okay well let's get into the story that

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we're talking about

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um

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take us back to 36 year old Penny Taylor

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in November 2009.

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yep so I was a single mum so I had Sam

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who was seven and who was now 20.

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um and Jade was three and who is now 17.

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um and so we were just you know it was

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November it was a busy time at work it

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was also a social time at work you know

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with Christmas parties Etc

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um and

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um yeah we did have function on the

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Saturday night for work

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um was completely fine didn't overdo it

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you know too too too badly your foot

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you're from Palmers to North we we were

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swimming in the same Waters yeah a

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apartment you're not overdoing it that's

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a couple of bottles of wine yeah that's

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it and we finished off at the dirty old

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cob

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um anyway

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um yeah so then the next few days went

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by

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um and then on the Thursday morning I

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woke like really early about five

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o'clock in the morning and

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um just felt nauseous and was gonna

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almost just vomiting and so I was

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dragging myself to the toilet vomiting

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going back to bed um I had the kids at

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home with me

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um I did manage to text their dad and

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say could you pick them up and take them

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to school because they don't think I'll

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be doing that today so he was good he

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come around picked them up did what he

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needed to do with them

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um he did realize that he thought I

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didn't look that good

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um and he did alert my mum and said that

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um he'd been around put the kids up

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didn't know how well peony actually was

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at that point in time so to me all I'd

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had was vomiting so

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um as the day went on I just continued

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to be in and out and sleeping vomiting

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sleeping vomiting basically

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um four o'clock in the afternoon my mum

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finishes work and I'm

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resilient for and

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I just have to lock the door like I

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never not lock my front door it's just a

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thing I've always done and for whatever

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reason this day whether Jason didn't

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lock it on his way out or

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um

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I don't know how but it was unlocked

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where do you live in public library

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you would think so wouldn't you yeah

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yeah for anyone that doesn't know their

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geography they're like the bad area yeah

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yeah

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um and so fortunately it wasn't locked

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so my mum finished work she came by

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um came in and I was unconscious at that

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point and she was trying to raise my you

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know alertness and she couldn't she

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couldn't get anything from me I don't

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remember her arriving at all

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um and so so I'm just going to pause you

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there so in the space of like 12 hours

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you went from

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the start of like what you assumed was

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like a flu or a virus so it was like

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five in the morning yeah that I first

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noticed feeling unwell and this was four

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in the afternoon 11 hours later yeah so

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what I put it down to is a vomiting only

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was I'd picked up a bug from the kids

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like Jade was at daycare and Sam was at

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school so you know if you like

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everything yeah so that's what I had

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thought but by the time mum had got to

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me say around 4 30 I think it was

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um I was incoherent and I don't remember

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her arriving

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um so because she couldn't raise you

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know anything from me she rung the

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ambulance they turned up

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um I have no recollection of this at all

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mom said when they put me into the

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ambulance they had alluded the hospital

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that it was like code four or whatever

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it was they had given me half an hour to

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live by the time I arrived

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um and Mum said on my way to the

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hospital she's noticed a black spot on

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my leg and then by the time I got to the

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hospital the black spot had grown all

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the way up my leg and was basically

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taking over my body which was just like

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your limbs dying yeah so that's the

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meningococcal

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so once so literally they they threw me

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into a e

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um everyone was gowned up from head to

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toe with the big like white masks

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everything

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um so you remember this or you just yeah

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um so they tried so they quickly

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realized that it was meningococcal and

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they quickly tried all the normal drugs

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that they would give you to do that to

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try and slow that progress down I was

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well too far gone by that stage

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um so then they put me up to ICU and I

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remember mum saying that the doctor had

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told her to take me like to the nurse

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take me straight up I needed to get on

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the machines and they were

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dilly-dallying around in this doctor let

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rip apparently because the time was so

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crucial

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so we got up to ICU and Palmerston North

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Hospital and I was literally strapped to

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everything no one to mankind at that

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point they had given me so by the time

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they stretched me all up they realized

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the extent of it all so all my organs

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had failed so my liver my kidneys

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everything internally was failing at a

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rapid rate and I had a temperature of 42

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degrees so I was literally frying from

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the inside what's it supposed to be 36

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37 is normal yeah

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um

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so with that so like literally my body's

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just been taken over by this virus

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um I swelled up to twice the size of me

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so I was kind of really unrecognizable I

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it just had ballooned out

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um

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so they put me all on the ventilators

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Etc

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and then one of the doctors just went

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away and just started researching he

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realized I was 36 years old he realized

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I had a young family he's like we need

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to do something so he rang around all

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the hospitals in New Zealand to ask what

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drugs they had used for meningococcal B

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case so I was miniature cocoa bee what

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does that mean it's the different

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variant of it so the most common is like

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the W which was up in Northland like

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there was a big mess they did a big

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vaccination program up there because it

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was taking over some of the schools but

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B was one they didn't have a vaccine for

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um and they have now created it from my

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records

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um but yeah so they

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so they ventilated me put me into a coma

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sort of said to my mum and dad and

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everyone that I would they protecting 48

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to 72 hours that's it people that need

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to come and say goodbye need to come up

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also you were you were basically on life

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support

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um oh my God yeah yeah all right you

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don't remember any of us

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none of it at all I have no idea what

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the family what everyone else went

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through I can only imagine it's

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harrowing yeah it's harrowing yeah

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um just you're just just pausing pausing

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here before we move on it's such a

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I mean this

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or spoiler alert you survived you're

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here now on the boat there's so much to

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be thankful for like the I don't know

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the hunch or the Intuition or whatever

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it was from your ex to like get in touch

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with your mum like there's so much that

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did go right yeah otherwise you would

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have just died there in bed presumably I

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would have yeah a couple of hours later

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a couple of hours later yeah that 100

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they said that that would have been the

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end

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um I would have been found because you

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hear about those stories don't you with

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people that have contracted managercocca

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and they've woken they haven't woken the

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next day

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um gone to bed thinking it's a cold or a

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flu and not woken up

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um and I think that was the difference

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with me is that I didn't have any of

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those other symptoms so all the other

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ones that they say is like you know the

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lights you know your eyes are painful

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with looking at light

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um the headaches the runny nose all

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those fever type things I never had that

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I just had the vomiting that was it yeah

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how do you how do you catch at it how

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can you avoid it so everyone carries it

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so everyone has it in the back of their

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throat and it's just so you could be a

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carrier and never pass it on

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um and never get sick yourself or you

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could

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be a carrier and pass it on and so

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saliva based obviously with being in the

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back of your throat and

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um it can be as simple as picking up

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someone else's cup or sharing a drink

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and you have left your saliva on there

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with the

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um disease and I've picked it up and

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it's taken over my body can be as easy

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as that young girls with lip gloss

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sharing that and that's why it was so

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um heavy and the young kids like little

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preschool children because they put

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everything in their mouth so it takes

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over all the time and then also

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teenagers in University hostels so for

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me to be 36 was a little bit out of the

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box

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and then after me there were quite

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several a lot of several cases of people

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in the same age bracket that we're

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getting it so it then kind of was

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discovered that it not necessarily is it

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in those two age groups anymore so what

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what can people do to avoid it is there

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anything in that that we can do don't

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share drinks okay don't just be really

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conscious about what you do so

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um my kids was drummed into them at a

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very young age not to share anything

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um you always tell your kids to share

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but don't do it this way

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um yeah so it's just it's just it's one

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of those things really you can't

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actually do a lot to prevent it yeah I

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mean yeah it just seems like it's a bad

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lack or a bad roll of the dice really

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doesn't it yeah yeah okay so so you're

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around your own life support and

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Intensive Care Unit at Palmerston North

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Hospital

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um

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your mum would have told you this I'm

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guessing did they come in and say

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goodbyes and things like that yeah so

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um they had to bring the kids up

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um and the kids were three and seven so

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they had to try and explain so Jade

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doesn't she was three she doesn't really

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remember a lot but I think Sam does more

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he was seven and of course I didn't look

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like mum because I'd swollen I was like

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filling the hospital bed and I just

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didn't look like me so I don't really

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no I don't I haven't even really asked

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how well that went because I don't

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really want to know because I can only

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imagine that it would have been

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heartbreaking yeah how old is your son

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now 20. he's 20. yeah yeah yeah do you

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ever talk about it or no you just yeah

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we do yeah we talk about it yeah we do

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talk about it over the years and they

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know exactly how lucky they are to have

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me still here

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um I suppose that makes it less

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triggering I mean if if that was his

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last vision of you it's the sort of

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thing that would give you PTSD yeah but

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the fact that you've um you survived it

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and you are thriving as you said before

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and you've an incredible role model for

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them I suppose yeah yeah it sort of

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takes away the sting of that hospital

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visit yeah that's it so

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um yeah so I don't really I don't think

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that I don't know how well that went but

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yeah then I just had like all my nearest

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and dearest obviously came in and um saw

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me

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um in the meantime the doctor that was

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ringing around the hospitals

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um came back to mum and dad with this

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drug and don't ask me what the name is

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because I can't remember

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um but it was really left field so one

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of my other friends Kelly

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um she was a nurse and so she was kind

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of the alongside mum and dad

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putting it into normal terms for them to

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try and understand what they're talking

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about so Kelly said is pretty random

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it's not a drug that they no one else

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had used it and it's not a drug that

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they would have

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um used normally but mum and dad said

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well it's worth a shot try anything

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right let's just do it so they shipped

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it in over the course of the weekend so

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this was a Thursday night I was admitted

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and so they started shipping it in on

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the Friday

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the doctor that shipped it in went on

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leave on the Saturday and Sunday and he

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didn't expect to see me on Monday that

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when he left on Friday he thought I

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wouldn't be there

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so they started administrating this drug

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and by the Sunday afternoon I did a

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teaspoon of wheeze which they all

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celebrated and was jumping around

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because that proved to them that my

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kidneys were starting to do something

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and so even though it was only a

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teaspoon but it was

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they even know were they like monitoring

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your everything else in your bladder and

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yeah right absolutely you're like

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honestly I was hooked up to so many

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machines it was yeah I've seen photos of

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it and

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um yeah I was there was no

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there wasn't much room for anything else

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I was jabbed everywhere yeah

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um so yeah so that indication of the

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teaspoon of wheeze was like okay we're

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heading in a good direction still

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obviously very critical I was still in a

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coma

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um so they just kept administrating it

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over the course of the next couple of

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weeks yeah

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um is I think it was about

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a month uh in a coma they decided that

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they would start to bring me out

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um I hadn't died so they were like okay

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let's bring her out and see what happens

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um because of all the internal organ

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organs failing so I was on dialysis for

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my kidneys

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um and then so that was going 24 7.

00:15:51

um

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they didn't know how I was going to be

00:15:54

because I didn't have any when people

00:15:57

talked to me I would say things Way Way

00:15:59

Back in the past but not in the present

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well this is when you just came out of

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the Cove yeah do you remember any of

00:16:05

this now so I have some vivid

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experiences of coming out of a coma and

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I yeah it was it's horrific like they

00:16:13

say hallucinations and it's seriously

00:16:16

it's horrible

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um like what well there was I I remember

00:16:22

this so there was um so they had started

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so over the course of three days they're

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bringing me out of this coma and they

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had to do it very slowly they thought

00:16:29

that possibly I might be a little bit

00:16:31

brain damaged because of the temperature

00:16:32

that I had

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um fortunately I'm not but um

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so I guess heading towards the end of

00:16:40

coming out

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um that's when the hallucination started

00:16:44

and I just had this Vivid

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feeling that people were chasing me and

00:16:49

they wanted to kill me and it was Vivid

00:16:52

like so vivid and um

00:16:56

to the point where an ICU you don't have

00:16:58

to have this side of the beds up because

00:17:01

patients generally aren't going to go

00:17:02

anywhere when you're in ICU

00:17:04

but these were so vivid the power of the

00:17:07

mind at one point I literally I lifted

00:17:10

my body attached to all of those

00:17:13

machines and I threw myself on what I

00:17:16

thought was a wheelchair so I knew that

00:17:18

I couldn't walk but I threw myself onto

00:17:21

a wheelchair thinking I could get away

00:17:22

from this person that was chasing me

00:17:25

might sound like a nutcase but it was

00:17:27

seriously

00:17:28

um is this is this the the drugs you're

00:17:31

on or yeah it's the drugs are coming out

00:17:33

of the coma yeah and you've got to get a

00:17:36

hold of some of them yeah I know it was

00:17:38

not pleasant let me tell you

00:17:40

um and then I just I landed in a heap on

00:17:42

the floor so of course everyone in ICU

00:17:44

were like mortified they've never seen

00:17:47

that happen before in their life that

00:17:50

someone that was in a coma could do that

00:17:53

um so then they had to pop me through

00:17:54

the machines to make sure I hadn't broke

00:17:55

working anything

00:17:57

and now DSA at the ICU they have the

00:18:00

side rails up now because well they

00:18:02

changed the rules because yeah yeah

00:18:05

um wow so yeah so that was horrific it

00:18:09

was like not for how long how long do

00:18:11

those hallucinations like forever yeah

00:18:13

it felt like forever for me I don't know

00:18:14

how long it actually was but it just

00:18:16

felt horrendous

00:18:19

um so when in my grogginess

00:18:21

um you know I was saying really random

00:18:23

things to family and stuff some some

00:18:25

things made sense some things didn't so

00:18:28

that's where they were really dicey

00:18:29

about whether my brain was actually

00:18:31

gonna function or not yeah

00:18:34

um so I guess after a course of about a

00:18:36

month

00:18:38

um they were trying to because I needed

00:18:40

dialysis

00:18:41

and I also needed to have my legs looked

00:18:45

at because I looked like I had frostbite

00:18:47

are you so you still had all your limbs

00:18:48

at this point yeah yeah so I hadn't had

00:18:51

any surgeries whatsoever because I

00:18:52

wasn't well enough to to enjoy any ECGs

00:18:55

so

00:18:57

um yeah so you see frostbite and that's

00:19:00

what I look like I was black like

00:19:01

literally black all over

00:19:04

um fortunately my face didn't get

00:19:06

affected

00:19:08

um but yeah fingers hands torso no torso

00:19:12

was fine but my arms are all scarred

00:19:14

Emma oh they are yeah and my legs what's

00:19:18

this what's the scarring on those arms

00:19:20

from so that's where the meningococcal

00:19:22

ate away in my body yeah and so then

00:19:25

also just like eats away at the flesh

00:19:26

yep

00:19:28

yeah so that's what the meningococcal

00:19:30

does and then of course when your organs

00:19:32

fail you then go into septus and so then

00:19:35

I went in to septicemia and that's when

00:19:37

you that's when it starts to go gangrene

00:19:39

looking and that's when your limbs

00:19:42

become affected

00:19:43

so yeah oh man that turn around happens

00:19:47

really quickly yeah yeah yeah

00:19:49

okay so

00:19:51

um

00:19:51

so is it is it obvious to you that

00:19:53

you're going to lose the limbs or are

00:19:54

you just not thinking about anything at

00:19:56

that I didn't even read registered yeah

00:19:58

like no it's been in a state of

00:20:00

bewilderment so you don't know what's

00:20:01

going on I hadn't had no idea what what

00:20:04

had happened I had no idea how long I'd

00:20:05

been in hospital for

00:20:08

um and I knew that I was sick but I

00:20:11

didn't because I was pinned to the bed

00:20:12

by that I had no idea what what

00:20:14

everything looked like

00:20:16

um and so they were trying to so that I

00:20:20

needed dialysis and I needed to have

00:20:23

basically my legs amputated and at that

00:20:26

stage they were thinking they might be

00:20:28

able to just do my feet but it really

00:20:29

depends how far they what they what they

00:20:33

think of

00:20:35

um and then

00:20:36

um is that a decision that you make or

00:20:39

is it a decision your mum makes on your

00:20:40

behalf or the decision that the doctors

00:20:42

make so that's just like not no choice

00:20:45

in the matter it just has to be so they

00:20:47

basically had to go up up my leg till

00:20:50

they reached some decent amount of Flesh

00:20:53

skin

00:20:55

you know everything that looked like

00:20:57

would be able to be healed so I remember

00:21:00

them saying to me so so this went on for

00:21:03

a while and then in the end I remember

00:21:04

saying to the doctor look can we just

00:21:06

make a decision and get this thing going

00:21:08

because I'm just like looking around

00:21:10

here

00:21:11

um and what they were trying to do was

00:21:13

they were trying to get me to be

00:21:14

transferred to waikato hospital because

00:21:16

their dialysis and their Plastics unit

00:21:20

Etc were all in within the one Hospital

00:21:22

yeah but because I was in Palmerston I

00:21:25

had to go my region for that sort of

00:21:27

thing was Wellington so I had to go to

00:21:30

the lower Hutt Burns unit

00:21:32

and that meant I had to endure a trip

00:21:36

into Wellington Central Hospital for the

00:21:38

dialysis so it was in two separate

00:21:40

hospitals and it was horrendous

00:21:44

um so they were trying to avoid that

00:21:46

situation but they couldn't waikato

00:21:48

wouldn't take me so I had to go down so

00:21:51

they flew me down to

00:21:53

um lower Hutt in and they treated me

00:21:56

like a Burns patient so when you had

00:21:59

Kelsey on the other week and I listened

00:22:01

to her story about the burns and this is

00:22:04

Kelsey wear corn uh the white island

00:22:06

Survivor yeah I resonated with her so

00:22:09

much because the treatment that she had

00:22:11

was very similar to mine yeah obviously

00:22:13

hers was a lot more over her body but um

00:22:17

it was the same kind of treatment so I

00:22:19

was put into the burns unit and then I

00:22:23

luckily

00:22:24

to my I'm so grateful I went there now

00:22:27

at the time wasn't but now I'm so

00:22:30

grateful

00:22:30

um because I ended up with Dr sweet tan

00:22:33

who was a really excellent plastic

00:22:36

surgeon and he was able to he said to my

00:22:40

mum I we might we'll try for the feet

00:22:43

but we'll just have to go up as far as

00:22:45

we can but if we can do anything we

00:22:47

would love to be able to save her knees

00:22:49

because as a bilateral amputee having

00:22:52

these is going to make life so much

00:22:53

easier for her

00:22:55

so so all this is happening in your

00:22:58

blissfully unaware blissfully unaware

00:23:00

yeah yeah which is probably a good thing

00:23:02

yeah it's interesting I mean yeah it's

00:23:05

interesting there's two ways of looking

00:23:07

at it I guess because I I had a another

00:23:08

remarkable woman on the podcast last

00:23:10

year called Rachel Meyer who's um a para

00:23:13

climber and she had an accident um when

00:23:15

she was kidding when she was a kid and

00:23:17

broke some um bones in her foot and she

00:23:20

ended up opting to have

00:23:21

um her leg removed as an adult so she

00:23:25

went through the whole grieving process

00:23:26

of like fear Welling it and making this

00:23:28

decision and coming to that decision but

00:23:30

that wasn't even an option for you no no

00:23:33

option so that was more about survival

00:23:35

yeah so they had to get they had to do

00:23:37

it to in order for me to live yeah that

00:23:40

was where it was at yeah so they

00:23:44

um my literally my mum and like the

00:23:46

family had to say goodbye to me again at

00:23:49

that point because it was a 12-hour

00:23:52

surgery to do the amputations and they

00:23:55

the state that I was in they didn't

00:23:57

think I would come out of it

00:24:00

oh my God you're you're a poor parent I

00:24:02

know oh my God we'll get to we'll get to

00:24:05

the the horrible stuff that you went

00:24:07

through on the road to recovery

00:24:09

afterwards I mean yeah but but meanwhile

00:24:11

you're blissfully unaware of all the

00:24:13

that's going on your poor mother I

00:24:15

know oh my God put it put them all

00:24:17

through yeah so much and I can't imagine

00:24:20

what a role how long was this roller

00:24:22

coaster for that they were on oh she

00:24:24

might make it she might not this is

00:24:26

happening she might not make this yeah

00:24:28

so this was like four weeks down the

00:24:30

track and then I was three weeks in

00:24:33

Wellington while they did all the

00:24:35

surgeries

00:24:37

um who's looking after the kids at this

00:24:38

time just the year so they were all down

00:24:39

everyone was down in Wellington Jason

00:24:41

had brought them um down as well so he

00:24:44

was really awesome and supported

00:24:46

everybody in that way

00:24:48

um and then yes I went into the surgery

00:24:52

um Swede tan managed to basically patch

00:24:56

quilt my legs to be able to keep my so

00:24:58

they were scripping around trying to

00:25:00

find some skin so they

00:25:02

um had to take skin from all sorts of

00:25:04

places to try and

00:25:06

be able to do all my arms and my legs

00:25:09

with where the miniature cocoa would eat

00:25:11

it in them away and then also try and

00:25:13

amputate my legs and then

00:25:15

patch them up with skin so from a skin

00:25:19

graft or yeah yeah so I got grafted from

00:25:21

my back and my and my torso

00:25:24

um which was probably more painful than

00:25:26

the other areas because it's like a

00:25:28

graze and it's horrible

00:25:30

um but I owe my knees to him because he

00:25:33

did whatever he could to save them and

00:25:35

I'm so grateful for that because

00:25:37

having your knees is so much more

00:25:39

functional than being above knee it's

00:25:42

like a lot a lot lot harder

00:25:44

so then over the course of those three

00:25:47

weeks I was in and out like

00:25:50

so I would endure literally nearly two

00:25:52

surgeries a day while they were either

00:25:55

checking my grafts to make sure they're

00:25:57

taking

00:25:59

um or going in and doing the next lot

00:26:00

and then in between times they would

00:26:03

come in at the in the morning at six in

00:26:05

the morning to do my kidney readings and

00:26:07

if they were no good they would then put

00:26:10

me on a in an ambulance and send me

00:26:13

through to

00:26:14

Wellington hospital for my dialysis and

00:26:18

so what they would have to do because I

00:26:20

was like Kelsey where I couldn't be

00:26:22

touched like it hurt like it was painful

00:26:24

I was sucking on the gas every time they

00:26:27

touched me moved me so to endure all the

00:26:30

bumps on the road in an ambulance all

00:26:33

the way to Wellington hospital was

00:26:34

horrific so they would drug me as much

00:26:38

as they could to get there and then

00:26:41

transport me over to the dialysis bed do

00:26:43

the dialysis which takes all those drugs

00:26:45

out of your body

00:26:46

and then I'd go home on nothing

00:26:49

and it was horrendous so I did that for

00:26:53

um three weeks and that was it was not

00:26:56

um not pleasant at all but fortunately

00:26:59

and I'm really grateful that the my

00:27:02

internal organs are really good and

00:27:03

they've all recovered and

00:27:06

um yeah that's that's been a huge thing

00:27:09

yeah that's amazing so for those three

00:27:10

weeks you're you're fully conscious and

00:27:12

aware of what's going on and you can you

00:27:15

remember the moment you got told about

00:27:16

about the limbs

00:27:18

yeah so actually my reaction to losing

00:27:21

my legs went wasn't that I was okay

00:27:22

about that yeah like it didn't I think

00:27:25

that's the drugs you're on or probably

00:27:26

just because you were so like like

00:27:29

beaten and deflated yeah yeah I think I

00:27:32

was just

00:27:33

I think I was just like oh my God I'm

00:27:35

alive for a start and then trying to

00:27:37

process actually what had happened

00:27:40

um but I was more surprised about my

00:27:43

arms and my fingers and I didn't but I

00:27:46

don't know why that really confused me

00:27:48

as to why they needed to take them in

00:27:52

um

00:27:53

but when I see the photos of what they

00:27:55

looked like I completely understand why

00:27:57

they had to because they were literally

00:27:59

we were going to fall off otherwise yeah

00:28:00

because they were black so

00:28:03

um but yeah that was probably more of a

00:28:06

surprise and then Mum would obviously

00:28:08

fill me in a little bit little by little

00:28:10

as to what happened and

00:28:12

um so I could get my head around it

00:28:14

slowly

00:28:16

um yeah so you're out of the woods at

00:28:17

this stage

00:28:18

yeah I would I I would say so

00:28:22

fortunately for me my graphs talk really

00:28:24

well I never had to have any redone

00:28:27

um and so I was really lucky in that in

00:28:30

that respect and they they think because

00:28:32

I was cut into fitness beforehand that I

00:28:35

was reasonably healthy going in so they

00:28:38

don't know whether that was a thing or

00:28:41

whether I'm just lucky

00:28:43

um

00:28:43

so yeah so over those three weeks I

00:28:46

couldn't wait to get back to Palmerston

00:28:47

like I just was over Wellington

00:28:51

um and I I guess I just I needed to go

00:28:54

home like that's what I keep focusing on

00:28:56

I was like I just want to go home

00:28:58

um after that so yeah so how long are we

00:29:01

talking now for Hospital the time you

00:29:02

spending party plus the time you spent

00:29:04

in yeah so we're up to a couple of

00:29:06

months okay yeah no wonder you wanted to

00:29:08

get home yeah of course yeah so and like

00:29:10

no one could come no one really came to

00:29:13

visit because I they weren't they

00:29:15

couldn't because I was so acceptable to

00:29:17

bugs as well so they had to be very

00:29:19

careful about who visited and and

00:29:21

whatnot so I just had the same kind of

00:29:23

rotation of people coming

00:29:26

um which was fine like and then when I

00:29:28

got back to palmy I was able to see my

00:29:30

friends which was a big

00:29:33

um positive step in the right direction

00:29:35

but I wasn't released time I had to go

00:29:38

back to the palmy hospital

00:29:41

and so once they got me all sorted as

00:29:44

far as that's go then I went to the

00:29:46

rehabilitation ward in in palmy which

00:29:48

was probably my worst part of the whole

00:29:49

experience really why so

00:29:52

um because it's like 70 and 80 year olds

00:29:54

that are in there and here I was at 36

00:29:57

some of the nurses were too scared to

00:29:59

touch me like because of everything that

00:30:02

was going on

00:30:04

um in the end the ICU nurses would cause

00:30:06

I'm scared to touch you because you'd

00:30:08

yelping oh my grafting and yeah just

00:30:11

like the the you know the skin changing

00:30:14

and the scabs that were all over my body

00:30:17

and

00:30:18

yeah they just didn't really know how to

00:30:20

deal with that they hadn't seen anything

00:30:22

like it yeah yeah yeah it was a lot yeah

00:30:25

when you get a um yeah Polytech in

00:30:27

Palmerston to become a nurse You're not

00:30:29

expecting this no no no no and and

00:30:32

thankfully I had made good friends with

00:30:34

the people in the ICU unit and they

00:30:37

would come and visit me and um and they

00:30:39

would make sure I was doing all right

00:30:41

but it got to a point where I was over

00:30:44

it I was so over it and I just wanted to

00:30:47

get out just frustrated yeah and um so

00:30:50

my friend Kelly that was a nurse she

00:30:52

came and got me for the day I was

00:30:54

allowed to go out on day leave so she

00:30:55

came and got me and she took me back to

00:30:57

her house and I was in a wheelchair at

00:30:59

that point so that was navigating trying

00:31:01

to get in and out of cars Etc so this is

00:31:04

how long after the November when you got

00:31:07

sick so we're talking

00:31:09

um mid-January into January

00:31:12

so it's a Christmas that year yeah

00:31:14

totally yeah yeah but you did get

00:31:17

leagueless yeah I did so I shouldn't

00:31:20

make that joke you're the only one that

00:31:21

should be able to make that no no you're

00:31:23

fine okay so I've heard it all before

00:31:25

yeah so so we're up to mid-January now

00:31:27

and are you um so you're over it are you

00:31:30

um up until this point like have you

00:31:32

have you been like like positive and

00:31:34

optimistic or were you when you went in

00:31:36

like a deep depression or anything no no

00:31:38

and they were expecting me to do that

00:31:40

like I'd get the um people to come in

00:31:44

and they were how are you doing I'm like

00:31:46

yeah I'm good and then but they were

00:31:48

expecting me to say you know they're

00:31:50

like it's okay if you're not good and

00:31:52

I'm like I'm no I'm okay and

00:31:55

um

00:31:56

yeah they and it was almost like they

00:31:58

were expecting me to to have something

00:32:00

like some sort of reaction which is

00:32:02

probably quite normal yeah did that come

00:32:03

at some point no no no where does this

00:32:07

come from is this the is this just your

00:32:09

DNA is this what you were like

00:32:10

beforehand and you you know you've

00:32:12

always been like a just a tough

00:32:14

resilient person do you think I think I

00:32:17

think I probably I am like I don't

00:32:21

I mean regardless of how to happen how

00:32:23

resilient you are like no one ever faces

00:32:25

a challenge like that until they have to

00:32:27

face

00:32:28

yeah I know and you don't know how

00:32:31

you're going to react exactly so yeah

00:32:33

um well that's lucky because that would

00:32:35

have been yeah I was I was I was really

00:32:38

good

00:32:39

um I think there was a there was a patch

00:32:41

probably when I had left hospital and I

00:32:44

had started to go back to work etc there

00:32:47

was a patch where I would get a little

00:32:48

bit anxious about going into big

00:32:50

situations like big gatherings why

00:32:53

because of people staring at you or yeah

00:32:55

I don't know I think that might have

00:32:56

been it but I got I got over there that

00:32:58

just didn't last for that long

00:33:01

um but I do remember that little patch

00:33:03

yeah so at this point are you in a

00:33:05

wheelchair yep yeah okay so you've just

00:33:07

got like I'm imagining like bandaged

00:33:09

yeah so bandage stumps

00:33:12

um and they were really swollen

00:33:14

um because they take a while to you know

00:33:16

lose the fluid and stuff

00:33:19

um and so yeah in a wheelchair so of

00:33:21

course my left hand is not that good so

00:33:23

I just went around in circles in a

00:33:24

wheelchair I was hopeless I couldn't

00:33:26

Propel it at all

00:33:29

um so they're frustrated the hell out of

00:33:32

me so frustrated yeah so you needed

00:33:34

someone to push you essentially pretty

00:33:36

much so they end up getting me an

00:33:37

electric chair because I couldn't do it

00:33:39

by myself I just literally I would have

00:33:41

been useless in a wheelchair basketball

00:33:43

team or a rugby team like it just was

00:33:46

never going to be a thing

00:33:48

um and so yeah so uh Kelly came and got

00:33:52

me that day I went back to her house and

00:33:54

I said to her I don't want to go back

00:33:55

and she's like I'll ring them and you

00:33:58

can stay the night here and she said

00:34:00

we're nurses we've you know we know what

00:34:02

we're doing so she rung them and they

00:34:04

said yeah that's fine she needs to be

00:34:05

about the next day so um Kelly had made

00:34:07

a big bath and they'd managed to get me

00:34:10

into the bath and I did normal things

00:34:11

and it was like oh this is amazing you

00:34:14

know like and I had a nice sleep in a

00:34:16

nice big bed and it was just lovely

00:34:19

um so the next day when I woke I said to

00:34:21

Kelly I'm out I'm not going back

00:34:23

and she's like well we'll have to go

00:34:25

back to get you out and I was like yeah

00:34:27

okay so we pulled up to the rehab board

00:34:30

and we just started packing up my room

00:34:33

and the nurses come in and go over

00:34:35

what's happening and I'm out I'm leaving

00:34:37

and they're like

00:34:39

well and like they were trying to get

00:34:40

their heads around and I'm like I've had

00:34:41

enough I just need to go home and um and

00:34:45

so they said to me well if you discharge

00:34:48

yourself then

00:34:50

um you know if you need some more

00:34:53

medical assistance in the future you

00:34:56

won't be able to come back to the

00:34:57

hospital because you discharge yourself

00:34:58

and I was like man that's weird so

00:35:01

you're all in or you're all out yeah

00:35:03

yeah yeah and so okay yeah Kelly being a

00:35:06

nurse basically that's a load of

00:35:07

yeah fake news yeah and uh so

00:35:10

we packed up and and off we win and like

00:35:13

from that point on I never looked back

00:35:16

um

00:35:16

but at that before I had done that so

00:35:20

probably going back a two weeks before

00:35:21

we had this meeting with all the doctors

00:35:24

and all the physios and all everybody

00:35:25

there's a big room full of everyone and

00:35:27

it was me and Mum and so they sort of

00:35:30

gave me my diagnosis at that point so

00:35:32

they said to me that I would likely be

00:35:36

in hospital for 12 months

00:35:38

so we're at three months at this point

00:35:40

so I'd likely be there for 12 months

00:35:43

um I probably wouldn't walk again

00:35:45

because of the scarring on my legs they

00:35:48

wouldn't cope with the Prosthetics

00:35:51

and probably unlikely to go back to work

00:35:54

and I was thinking well that's awesome

00:35:56

yeah how does that conversation go down

00:35:59

yeah you mentioned before you were

00:36:00

physically active and physical person

00:36:02

prior to this

00:36:04

um yeah what's that moment like yeah you

00:36:06

told you're not going to walk again yeah

00:36:08

so I think at the time I was like

00:36:09

looking at them as if to say are you

00:36:11

serious so is the room just spinning or

00:36:13

yeah I was just like trying to absorb

00:36:15

what they were saying and I was you

00:36:17

burst into tears or what no I didn't I

00:36:19

went the other way I went and I'll prove

00:36:21

it right I'll prove you wrong don't

00:36:23

with Penny yeah I literally and I said

00:36:25

to mum that's not going to be my story

00:36:27

and I said no there's no way that I'm

00:36:30

gonna I said what is the point in

00:36:32

surviving if I can't do the things that

00:36:35

I want to do like I'm here I've got two

00:36:37

young kids the choice I need to make is

00:36:41

that I've got to live and I've got to

00:36:42

find my new normal and be able to make

00:36:45

that work for the best way that I can

00:36:47

for me and for them and I was definitely

00:36:50

not going to be in hospital for 12

00:36:52

months and I definitely was going to

00:36:54

walk again and there was just no way and

00:36:56

for my own mental state going back to

00:36:59

work was the best thing that I could

00:37:01

have ever done yeah how long was that

00:37:03

that was quite so nice six months yeah

00:37:05

six months later so you went back to the

00:37:06

same job yeah how was how was that so I

00:37:09

was so super lucky

00:37:11

um what were you doing by the way I was

00:37:13

working for user bus in Palmerston North

00:37:15

the bus company and um Justin Allen was

00:37:18

the managing director

00:37:20

um installers

00:37:22

um and they were amazing so the building

00:37:25

wasn't set up for a wheelchair so they

00:37:28

took down walls they

00:37:30

um moved shelves they had a bell in the

00:37:33

toilet in case I fell off the toilet

00:37:34

when I transferred from the from the um

00:37:38

wheelchair to the toilet like the girls

00:37:40

in the office went well over their job

00:37:42

description and helping me

00:37:44

um so they made my transition so easy

00:37:46

and they just made it work and I turned

00:37:49

up when I could turn up and I left when

00:37:52

I was tired fatigued yeah yeah there was

00:37:55

a lot going on with your body still at

00:37:56

this point yeah yeah so um initially

00:37:59

Justin thought I had set me up at home

00:38:01

and then he had a change of heart and

00:38:03

said actually if you come into the

00:38:05

office at least you're with people and

00:38:07

it's

00:38:08

um and it was the best decision yeah it

00:38:11

was in by by sort of two in the

00:38:13

afternoon they could see that the drugs

00:38:15

that I was still on were starting to

00:38:16

wear and and so they would they would

00:38:19

just call my Mobility taxi and come and

00:38:22

get me Chuck me in there in a way I'd go

00:38:24

home and sleep for the afternoon what

00:38:25

drugs like pain relief or yeah yeah yeah

00:38:27

you want anything now or no no no wow

00:38:31

that's amazing yeah should that's good

00:38:33

yeah do you just put that down to

00:38:35

determination

00:38:36

leather speedy recovery and just getting

00:38:38

back to

00:38:40

trying to figure out what your new

00:38:41

normal is yeah I'm pretty tunnel vision

00:38:43

like I do and I do

00:38:46

yeah I guess part of me was it was the

00:38:49

drive was having young kids yeah you

00:38:51

know and and wanting to be a a mum that

00:38:54

was still fully involved

00:38:56

um and then

00:38:58

I saw it's heaps to live for so I was

00:39:00

like you know I'm still alive I've got a

00:39:03

I can either I the way I said it to

00:39:04

myself I've got two choices I could

00:39:06

certainly feel sorry for myself and kind

00:39:08

of that be it or

00:39:10

go get go find what my new normal is and

00:39:13

and go go and

00:39:15

go and take on any challenge that came

00:39:18

along and that's literally what I did

00:39:19

and if I couldn't work it out I'd figure

00:39:22

a way how to work it out oh how this is

00:39:25

this is so cool for your kids what a

00:39:26

good role model yeah they think I'm a

00:39:29

tough mum however you are you're a

00:39:31

badass yes and

00:39:33

I'm just thinking if I was a double I

00:39:36

think I'm a people pleaser by Nature

00:39:37

I'll be the worst dog I'd be like no you

00:39:39

you'll be fine you'll walk your legs

00:39:40

will probably grow back even that's what

00:39:43

I would say I'd probably like I over

00:39:45

install confidence in people so so we're

00:39:47

uh so it's so you you have got

00:39:49

prosthetic legs now yeah um and you live

00:39:52

a very active life this is how I

00:39:53

discovered you through your Instagram

00:39:54

account fitness app amputee which we'll

00:39:56

get to

00:39:57

um so how did how did the leg thing come

00:39:59

about after you got told you wouldn't

00:40:00

walk again yeah so

00:40:02

um about so after that meeting I went

00:40:05

down to the Wellington limb Center

00:40:06

because it was the local one and they

00:40:08

they looked at my legs and they were in

00:40:10

a narrowing and thinking what what are

00:40:12

we going to do with these

00:40:13

um because of the scarring where were

00:40:15

they cut like uh just below the knee

00:40:17

yeah so I don't know how far down

00:40:20

um but the scarring was the problem

00:40:22

because traditionally with sockets

00:40:25

you've got like a liner on like a rubber

00:40:27

liner in the friction when you walk

00:40:29

because you're literally walking in like

00:40:31

buckets so you're just like sitting in

00:40:33

it and so the friction is quite a lot

00:40:37

and they thought my skin would break

00:40:39

down all the time which it did

00:40:41

um so they end up getting thicker liners

00:40:43

and I kind of got by with that but I

00:40:46

watched like a robot like I literally

00:40:48

wobbled from side to side and it was it

00:40:51

was like a 1970s robot yeah and it was

00:40:54

hard like it was hard work it was

00:40:56

exhausting

00:40:57

um in yeah that whole transition was

00:41:00

hard but I did it for six years like

00:41:02

that

00:41:04

um and then I discovered that my I was

00:41:06

getting new sockets made all the time

00:41:08

because my legs just lose volume over

00:41:10

there so you wake up in the morning

00:41:12

where you've been lying horizontal all

00:41:13

night when you stand up your legs are a

00:41:16

lot bigger but by the afternoon of

00:41:19

walking on them all day mine were shrink

00:41:21

like enormously so I was forever getting

00:41:24

new leaks made and I was getting really

00:41:25

frustrated with the system down there

00:41:28

um at one point they said to me oh

00:41:30

there's not much else we can do so you

00:41:31

can either have those legs or you can go

00:41:33

back into a wheelchair and so that kind

00:41:36

of for someone like me to say that it

00:41:38

was like not received well yeah

00:41:42

um and so then I started looking around

00:41:44

and I looked over in Aussie and I went

00:41:48

to Australia looking at

00:41:50

well I went to a like a Expo and I was

00:41:54

thinking that I was more looking for the

00:41:56

feet thing to give me more flexibility

00:41:58

when I walked rather than being a robot

00:42:00

because my knees and hips were getting

00:42:02

sore because I wasn't walking normally

00:42:06

um so that's what I my intentions were

00:42:08

was to go and find some sort of better

00:42:11

feet option

00:42:12

when I got there I was looking around

00:42:14

and I was talking to one of the brands

00:42:17

you know to people

00:42:19

and he said to me

00:42:21

or you should go next door and listen to

00:42:23

the surgeon that's speaking about Osteo

00:42:25

integration and I said I can't have

00:42:27

Osteo integration because I'm baloney

00:42:29

and he goes you're a kiwi and I am and

00:42:32

he goes That's because you they don't

00:42:34

know in New Zealand that you that it is

00:42:36

an option and I was like oh okay and so

00:42:39

I win and by the way just pausing you

00:42:42

there that seems absurd yeah that you

00:42:44

can be a three-hour flight away and

00:42:45

there are yeah anyway yeah yeah that's

00:42:48

an eye roll moment yeah it is an eye

00:42:49

roll moment and I always felt like the

00:42:52

um limb centers it was like a secret

00:42:54

society almost like they didn't give you

00:42:56

too much information about stuff and

00:42:58

I've learned so much more about

00:43:00

Prosthetics with having my connections

00:43:03

in Australia since

00:43:05

um so I went and sat in and listened so

00:43:09

it was with um

00:43:11

Professor mongodel Medeiros are you a

00:43:14

big fan of his work

00:43:16

he's an incredible guy yeah yeah I bet

00:43:19

um so he's got a story of his own he's a

00:43:21

refugee from Iraq and came out on the

00:43:24

boats and so he's got his own book Etc

00:43:26

all about that anyway he was an

00:43:28

orthopedic surgeon and

00:43:30

he always wanted to give back to and

00:43:33

make lives easier for amputees so

00:43:38

he remembers watching the Terminator as

00:43:40

a kid and thought I could do that for

00:43:43

amputees and it has been around for many

00:43:46

many years like in Sweden and Germany

00:43:49

but they hadn't quite perfected it the

00:43:51

way munjid has now

00:43:54

um and so I was listening to him he was

00:43:57

talking about baloney I was like this is

00:43:59

okay this is positive I'm liking this

00:44:02

and weirdly after he finished speaking

00:44:05

he came and sat next to me so it was

00:44:07

like it was meant to be and

00:44:10

um I said to him

00:44:12

so you do do below knee and he goes yep

00:44:16

he goes That's what I just said because

00:44:17

he's got that kind of manner and I was

00:44:19

like okay and he goes you're a kiwi and

00:44:22

I went yeah he goes are you interested

00:44:23

and I said yeah I am he goes when do you

00:44:25

go home and I see Tuesday and he goes

00:44:27

come and see me tomorrow so this was a

00:44:29

Sunday

00:44:30

so I um and then the lunch break has

00:44:35

um off-site a Belinda came and sat with

00:44:37

me and her auntie had died of

00:44:39

meningococcal so she kind of resonated

00:44:41

with my story and

00:44:43

um so anyway I went out the next day he

00:44:46

did all the tests on me bone density

00:44:48

scans

00:44:49

just to make sure that I had strong

00:44:52

enough bones for it

00:44:54

um told me the whopping price

00:44:58

and basically what I needed to do so I

00:45:01

needed to go back I needed to go back to

00:45:03

one of his clinics have some

00:45:05

psychological testing to make sure that

00:45:07

I was okay that I was an amputee that I

00:45:10

was going to be okay with a piece of

00:45:11

metal hanging out my leg oh really what

00:45:13

is it like a counseling session or is it

00:45:15

a quick questionnaire what is it uh it's

00:45:17

a one-on-one right with a psychologist

00:45:19

and they just ask you random questions

00:45:21

about about your life how it happened

00:45:25

um what you do currently so they're

00:45:27

trying to assess whether you're hiding

00:45:28

away from The Real World or whether

00:45:30

you're still out there being involved

00:45:33

um

00:45:34

so I passed there obviously I was did

00:45:36

you have to think about the answers like

00:45:38

were you thinking what would be the

00:45:39

correct thing to say here you just

00:45:41

answered I just answered honestly yeah

00:45:42

I'm in then yeah and I met a couple of

00:45:47

um amputees there so I could see the

00:45:49

product I could see how they were

00:45:51

walking what they were doing and it blew

00:45:53

my mind I was like this is amazing

00:45:56

um so it's it is

00:45:58

really amazing technology so that it's

00:46:01

literally it's a titanium rod that is

00:46:04

implanted into the tibia bone for me or

00:46:07

the femur for above

00:46:10

um through surgical procedures my rehab

00:46:13

was two years letting the bone and the

00:46:16

implant integrate into each other which

00:46:19

is a slow process so what does that two

00:46:21

years look like so that was wheelchair

00:46:23

so you go right back to the ground

00:46:25

Groundhog Day so you have to have your

00:46:27

head back in that space so back to a

00:46:31

wheelchair then once that was kind of

00:46:34

around a month and then I was up on legs

00:46:37

with two crutches taking most of the

00:46:40

weight so and then once you got through

00:46:43

that then you dropped one crutch and

00:46:45

then you're loading like about 20

00:46:48

and then you move forward to no crutches

00:46:52

and then you just start walking not

00:46:55

overdoing it how's that in the beginning

00:46:56

is it what's as the balance once

00:46:58

difficult or is it painful on the on the

00:47:02

stumps or the bones weirdly it's not

00:47:05

painful you would think it would be but

00:47:06

it's not if it it looks painful like you

00:47:09

you lifted up your actually do you want

00:47:11

to lift up your leg now so we can see it

00:47:12

on only if you want to I don't mind

00:47:15

um it looks painful looks like it should

00:47:17

be painful but it's not painful at all

00:47:19

no not at all

00:47:21

um just for the people that are watching

00:47:23

this on YouTube for anyone that's um

00:47:24

listening to the audio version you won't

00:47:26

see this so that's that stays on by the

00:47:30

way cool New Balance shoes aren't they

00:47:31

cool yeah so what bit comes off so

00:47:35

so this part

00:47:36

closest to my leg Yeah is in me

00:47:38

permanently and there as an using Allen

00:47:42

key and I take from there off down so

00:47:45

when you go to bed at night what do you

00:47:47

some people leave them on yeah I don't I

00:47:49

take my legs off

00:47:51

yeah you've never had a thing where

00:47:53

you've woken up and you've forgotten and

00:47:54

tried to get it no no no no no no

00:47:58

that is amazing technology isn't it it's

00:48:01

incredible yeah

00:48:03

um but the the coolest thing about it is

00:48:05

that for me because I was only an

00:48:07

amputee six months six years before

00:48:09

having the surgery it's reconnected all

00:48:12

my wires and so I can feel the ground

00:48:15

the concrete the grass

00:48:17

yeah how yeah that's amazing

00:48:22

holy that's incredible yeah and that's

00:48:24

something they didn't know was going to

00:48:26

happen with the surgery and it's just

00:48:27

over the

00:48:29

um time so if you were born

00:48:31

an amputee like you know you don't have

00:48:33

that connection yeah so that doesn't

00:48:35

happen but the the least time that you

00:48:37

have been in a socket before you go to

00:48:40

Osteo integration

00:48:42

generally people are feeling

00:48:44

yeah the differences and and what about

00:48:46

Phantom pains

00:48:48

can't get it I've been fortunate I I

00:48:50

I've been really fortunate I did have it

00:48:52

right at the very beginning and it's

00:48:54

excruciating and horrible

00:48:56

um but yeah I'm really I'm one of the

00:48:59

really lucky ones I do take magnesium

00:49:01

and I'm religious with magnesium

00:49:04

um and I have done it from as soon as I

00:49:07

got the surgery monget said start taking

00:49:09

magnesium and I take it religiously

00:49:11

every night and I don't know whether

00:49:13

that helps

00:49:14

um or not but I've always been really

00:49:17

active so I don't know I just some

00:49:20

people it's really horrible but I am

00:49:22

I've been lucky that that hasn't

00:49:24

affected me

00:49:25

yeah you're remarkable aren't you

00:49:28

you you really are like meningitis

00:49:31

picked the wrong person yeah I know it

00:49:33

really did it shut your teeth I suppose

00:49:35

times like this you find out just how

00:49:36

tough you are yeah yeah people

00:49:39

say that like they always say you know

00:49:41

you're one strong lady or whatever and

00:49:44

it's like yeah I guess I am I don't

00:49:46

really think about it I just do what I

00:49:48

want to do and make sure that I'm doing

00:49:50

it the best way that I can and having

00:49:53

this surgery so while having to go all

00:49:56

the way back so I did have to learn to

00:49:58

walk again because the wobbling that I

00:50:00

was doing in the sockets wasn't how this

00:50:03

was going to work with the implant so

00:50:05

the implant is aligned like laser

00:50:08

aligned so that you're completely 100 in

00:50:11

line with your legs and um so I had to

00:50:14

learn I had to go right back to the

00:50:16

beginning and I lost that thought I had

00:50:18

to say it to be like a 36 37 year old

00:50:21

learning to walk again yeah it was weird

00:50:22

like it was rewarding because I was

00:50:25

taking my first steps again in this new

00:50:28

system frustrating as well because I

00:50:30

just wanted to go

00:50:32

um and I had to be patient I'm not the

00:50:35

most patient person in the world

00:50:37

um and being patient I had to learn that

00:50:39

really a lot because I had to wait for a

00:50:43

few years before I could actually start

00:50:44

doing what I could really wanted to do

00:50:48

um which was like exercise yeah yeah and

00:50:52

just keeping up with day-to-day life

00:50:53

like you know like generally in a socket

00:50:56

I would if I was invited somewhere I

00:50:58

would have to think about the access I

00:51:00

would have to think about how I was

00:51:02

going to get in and out

00:51:04

um was the ground going to be slippery

00:51:06

was it you know all those things would

00:51:07

run through my head in preparation of

00:51:10

going anywhere now I don't even think

00:51:12

about it I just do it I can walk up the

00:51:14

hills in Wellington I can

00:51:17

I just do life like to the fullest and I

00:51:20

can keep up with all my family my

00:51:22

friends

00:51:23

um yeah how much was that operation you

00:51:26

said you said what you want to go there

00:51:29

and I just remembered you said before it

00:51:32

cost a ton of money

00:51:33

not covered by any sort of insurance or

00:51:36

no did you set up a give a little or

00:51:38

anything like that I did um we did do

00:51:40

some crowdfunding and that that

00:51:42

definitely helped

00:51:44

um if you don't if you don't want to

00:51:45

answer you don't have to answer but well

00:51:47

it's a it's a really good size deposit

00:51:49

on a house oh my God yeah

00:51:52

yeah but necessary for you the quality

00:51:55

of life you've got I'd never go back

00:51:57

like money well spent yeah it was money

00:51:59

well spent and I was really fortunate

00:52:01

like manger was really

00:52:04

very very giving for me because I was as

00:52:07

first kiwi and first miniature cockle

00:52:10

patient

00:52:11

um he kind of gave me a pretty

00:52:13

discounted rate so he contributed a lot

00:52:15

to to my surgery as well so I was really

00:52:19

super lucky with that then some

00:52:23

crowdfunding and then

00:52:25

um yeah paid the rest lived on spaghetti

00:52:27

for a while

00:52:29

um but yeah so we got there in the end

00:52:32

um and I'm I for quality of life it's

00:52:35

it's money well spent I would never not

00:52:37

have it now it's not for everybody for

00:52:39

sure

00:52:41

um and it seems to be that people that

00:52:43

have are not healthy on the inside don't

00:52:45

always respond that well to Osteo

00:52:47

integration so

00:52:49

um yeah you've kind of gotta you have to

00:52:51

keep yourself healthy yeah

00:52:54

I mean we've established that you're

00:52:56

strong and you're resilient and and very

00:52:59

very tough but there must have been some

00:53:01

like

00:53:01

just I don't know awful days or awful

00:53:04

moments

00:53:05

we just frustration gets the better of

00:53:07

you yeah they generally happened at the

00:53:09

limb Center

00:53:11

just out of frustration yeah it was

00:53:13

really frustrating and that whole socket

00:53:16

journey I hated I really did it was I

00:53:18

found it really restricting

00:53:19

[Music]

00:53:21

um and super frustrating and that was

00:53:24

probably yeah that was that was tough

00:53:26

because it just it didn't work for me

00:53:30

um and my quality of life was nowhere

00:53:33

near what it is now with those sockets

00:53:36

um

00:53:37

and yeah I guess there were times you

00:53:40

know like when the kids were going on

00:53:42

school camp and things like that and I

00:53:44

would have loved to have been a peer and

00:53:45

help but physically that wasn't

00:53:47

something I could do at that time so

00:53:50

yeah I had to kind of suck those kind of

00:53:53

situations up and just just feel sorry

00:53:56

for yourself for a brief period of time

00:53:58

out of it yeah yeah yeah I don't tend to

00:54:01

tend to dwell

00:54:02

on it I like I just want to enjoy the

00:54:06

light I've got yeah how how can other

00:54:08

people

00:54:09

um take some of that take some of that

00:54:11

magic juice like what would you what

00:54:13

would you message me or like you know

00:54:16

maybe it's just part of your your DNA

00:54:18

and and who you are and your personality

00:54:20

but there's got to be takeaways for

00:54:22

other people that you know go through

00:54:23

about how they can deal with it and

00:54:25

make them make the best of a bad

00:54:27

situation what do you reckon yeah yeah

00:54:29

what's your advice

00:54:31

oh I don't know

00:54:34

um

00:54:36

I don't know I guess like on one side

00:54:38

you've got to want to do it but you've

00:54:40

you really you have to dig deep like I

00:54:42

had to dig deep so many times to push

00:54:45

you to get keep going

00:54:48

um

00:54:49

so yeah you gotta you gotta want to do

00:54:51

it and

00:54:52

just never give up like I don't give up

00:54:54

I just if I can't do something I'll

00:54:56

figure out a way how to do it or if it's

00:54:58

not quite now it's something I can work

00:55:00

towards in the future to make that

00:55:03

happen so there were plenty of over the

00:55:06

seven years there was plenty of those

00:55:08

kind of situations where I can't quite

00:55:11

do that now but then in a year's time I

00:55:13

could do it if I just keep chipping away

00:55:17

um keeping healthy is is a big thing

00:55:20

like what you Feed and Fuel your body is

00:55:22

just so much

00:55:24

helps with everyday life I reckon yeah

00:55:27

was that was that a Cornerstone of your

00:55:29

life before the meningitis not not as

00:55:32

much as a focus like I've have a lot

00:55:35

like I eat and drink a lot of protein

00:55:39

um and that's because it feeds my bones

00:55:41

and helps with my legs so

00:55:45

um I have a really quite a high protein

00:55:47

diet and water I just drink an enormous

00:55:51

amount of it because I need to keep

00:55:52

flushing my kidneys and keep all those

00:55:55

internal organs ticking over so

00:55:58

um it's quite a focus for me yeah I

00:56:01

drink a lot of water as well but I'll

00:56:02

tell you what I'm not I'm urinating just

00:56:04

a teaspoon of wheat there's a lot more

00:56:06

than that coming out more frequently as

00:56:07

well yeah me too now yeah yeah so the um

00:56:10

the Instagram account

00:56:11

um the fitness amputee by the way you

00:56:13

should have way more followers than what

00:56:15

you do have it seems astonishing to me

00:56:18

because it you know you're remarkable

00:56:20

and it's inspiring and all these and

00:56:22

motivating so it should have more so

00:56:25

hopefully we can boost that up a little

00:56:26

bit but when when did Jesus decide to do

00:56:27

that

00:56:28

and set that up and sort of become your

00:56:30

public I guess with your like recovery

00:56:32

and your progress and your journey yeah

00:56:34

I guess

00:56:36

um

00:56:37

so once I'd gone through the rehab and I

00:56:40

was coming out the other side that's

00:56:42

when when generally walking was becoming

00:56:45

easy and I could walk a distance and not

00:56:48

you know have any inkling of any pain or

00:56:51

anything like that like a pain in the

00:56:53

sense that I've overdone it so once that

00:56:55

was becoming normal that's when I

00:56:58

thought so I got a

00:57:01

bike like just an exercise bike because

00:57:04

I used to do spin classes and that was

00:57:06

my favorite thing and I thought maybe I

00:57:08

could try that biking's not putting too

00:57:10

much pressure on my implant

00:57:12

Etc yep so I started biking and then it

00:57:15

kind of just grew from there

00:57:17

um and I did I did my first challenge

00:57:21

like a fitness challenge with Shane

00:57:24

Hunter and Palmerston North who is a

00:57:27

bodybuilder and he did this Challenge on

00:57:30

a on a um just as a for his friends and

00:57:33

family really and so I did that and I

00:57:37

was surprised at what I could do and by

00:57:40

no means what I was I doing what I'm

00:57:42

doing now but it was my start of of that

00:57:47

whole journey and then I really enjoyed

00:57:50

the challenge I spent so I liked that

00:57:52

period of time and having because I'm

00:57:55

kind of driven by time like with

00:57:58

you know

00:57:59

um

00:58:00

an eight-week challenge is like okay

00:58:02

I've got eight weeks to do this and see

00:58:04

the improvements along the way and I

00:58:06

started videoing myself because I could

00:58:08

see what I was doing then and it was

00:58:09

more for my own benefit it was like oh

00:58:12

god what the hell are you doing there

00:58:13

like that looks really odd well you know

00:58:15

you need to do this better or whatever

00:58:19

um and so after that challenger'd finish

00:58:22

I went looking for the next challenge

00:58:23

and I signed up with these girls from

00:58:25

Australia it was called move with us and

00:58:28

I was with them for three years and

00:58:30

became one of their ambassadors because

00:58:33

they were Amazed by what I could do too

00:58:35

and so I was just starting again with

00:58:38

challenges I literally just for three

00:58:40

years went from challenge to challenge

00:58:41

all different ones some were Pilates

00:58:43

some were like glute work some was all

00:58:47

over I was just depending what they what

00:58:49

was happening and I loved it and I just

00:58:51

started connecting with other people

00:58:54

um one of my friends in Australia who's

00:58:55

also an amputee Linda she does them too

00:58:58

so her and I were like kind of Sidekicks

00:59:01

together doing it

00:59:03

um

00:59:03

and then recently so where I got quite a

00:59:08

bit of my growth was with a girl in

00:59:11

Hamilton which was Elevate and it was

00:59:15

with Nick and she I saw the most amount

00:59:20

of growth in my time with her eight-week

00:59:22

Challenge

00:59:23

and she she knew my limitations and also

00:59:28

would try and tweak the program a little

00:59:31

bit for me but yeah I grew so much

00:59:34

strength in that eight weeks

00:59:37

to now

00:59:39

feeling like I'm stronger than I was

00:59:41

before yeah yeah yeah

00:59:45

um which leads me to this question which

00:59:47

is um probably a very I don't know if

00:59:50

it's an inappropriate question it's

00:59:51

probably a very difficult one to answer

00:59:52

but if you could go back to 2009

00:59:54

and choose to

00:59:56

have the the meningitis and everything

00:59:59

that's come or not have it Baron made

01:00:01

all the bad stuff that's happened all

01:00:02

the good stuff that's happened as well

01:00:04

um would you change it would you change

01:00:06

anything

01:00:08

um

01:00:10

probably I think the reason I get

01:00:12

emotional when I talk about it is

01:00:14

because of what everyone else went

01:00:15

through not necessarily what I went

01:00:17

through and so when I think about that

01:00:19

time way back it's about

01:00:22

um my mum and my dad and you know the

01:00:25

kids and all that and even what everyone

01:00:27

went through and that's what makes me

01:00:29

emotional more than what I went through

01:00:31

like I just think God it must have been

01:00:33

heart-wrenching for them to sit there

01:00:35

and see that happening

01:00:37

um but as far as your question goes I

01:00:39

think it's made me the person I am now

01:00:41

and

01:00:44

the journey I look at life so

01:00:45

differently yeah and it's such an

01:00:48

unselfish answer yeah and I just I don't

01:00:50

know I kind of seize the moment now like

01:00:53

we're I don't often say no to things

01:00:55

like I I like to do stuff with people

01:00:58

um and I just look at I just look at

01:01:01

life differently and I just think you

01:01:04

know let's do it why not

01:01:07

so yeah yeah just reflect on that period

01:01:10

like you you just can't imagine have you

01:01:12

I'm guessing you've had numerous

01:01:13

conversations with your mum or your

01:01:15

parents about it that must have been

01:01:16

just um

01:01:18

stuff of nightmares I know it's that

01:01:20

period yeah are you a blissfully out of

01:01:22

it you were on morphine or whatever yeah

01:01:23

I was I was asleep I had no idea what

01:01:26

they were going through I know like my

01:01:28

mum and my brother and all of them like

01:01:30

they literally took over the waiting

01:01:31

room in ICU and they they slept there

01:01:33

for days on end

01:01:36

um because they just never knew like mum

01:01:37

said she just couldn't leave me like

01:01:39

because she didn't know if I was gonna

01:01:41

still be there the next day so she just

01:01:43

couldn't take herself away so it would

01:01:46

have

01:01:47

um oh it would have been horrendous and

01:01:49

then and then this other admin to deal

01:01:51

with like the you know the coming up

01:01:53

with the narrative that they're going to

01:01:54

tell the kids um you know because you

01:01:56

can't feed the kids too much information

01:01:57

and you no yeah man yeah so it's yeah

01:02:02

it's and it's interesting but yeah I I

01:02:05

it has definitely shaped who I am and

01:02:09

um I it is what it is for me now and I

01:02:14

don't hide my legs like in the in the

01:02:16

summertime I wear shorts everybody says

01:02:19

um at me and I'm just used to just

01:02:21

blocking it out

01:02:23

um kids are hilarious because they're

01:02:24

like oh no filter you're a robot

01:02:28

it's kind of cool yeah

01:02:30

um how long was it

01:02:32

um that you were I mean you came in here

01:02:34

today we're wearing long pants and you

01:02:36

you don't walk like a robot you just

01:02:37

walk normally so there's no way of

01:02:39

knowing but

01:02:40

um your hands are definitely messed up

01:02:41

yeah how how long were you

01:02:43

self-conscious of them did you find

01:02:44

yourself sort of tucking them under your

01:02:46

armpits especially still do that do you

01:02:48

yeah I think I still do that with my

01:02:50

hands can you just sense people staring

01:02:53

or you fear they're gonna steer or yeah

01:02:55

I think it's become a real Habit to pop

01:02:58

my left hand in my pocket majority of

01:03:00

the time or under my arm

01:03:02

um I don't know I just think it's become

01:03:04

a thing yeah with it and now I do it

01:03:07

without even realizing I'm doing it um

01:03:09

but when I'm at work like I'm typing

01:03:11

away and I can type and carry on like

01:03:13

it's not I'm not limited in that regard

01:03:17

um

01:03:18

but it's yeah I don't know it's just

01:03:21

something I do tuck away but with my

01:03:23

legs I'm just like whatever yeah yeah

01:03:25

and have you had any therapy or

01:03:27

counseling over the years or just those

01:03:29

sessions before you had the operation

01:03:30

yeah yeah that's it that's it man you're

01:03:34

a tough guy and I Jesus when you think

01:03:37

about it now isn't it like you know I

01:03:39

don't know I suppose with you with your

01:03:41

kids you're just mum so maybe it's not

01:03:43

not a sort of conversation that you

01:03:44

really have but have you sat down with

01:03:46

them and you know like talked about

01:03:48

things in sort of depth or detail yeah

01:03:50

they they know everything yeah they know

01:03:52

how it was they know that I you know

01:03:55

nearly died

01:03:57

um are they at an age now where they can

01:03:58

sort of like appreciate just how

01:04:00

remarkable you are well not really

01:04:02

you're just mum you're a pain in the ass

01:04:07

they don't I mean like Jade was three

01:04:09

and Sam was seven so that majority of

01:04:12

their life I've been this way yeah so

01:04:16

um they don't yeah they don't it just

01:04:19

doesn't and all of their friends that

01:04:20

come and go at home they all know the

01:04:22

story

01:04:23

um they they just accept me for who I am

01:04:26

and yeah it's never it's just never a

01:04:30

problem oh no I don't mean like that I

01:04:32

just I I'm thinking from a point of

01:04:35

being an ore of you as their as their

01:04:37

mum and I feel like as they maybe as

01:04:38

they get older and they get a bit more

01:04:41

um you know aware of the world around

01:04:43

them and things they'll become more like

01:04:46

more more of a fan of you I guess than

01:04:48

what you've done and hopefully like

01:04:49

listening to a conversation like this

01:04:51

will make them realize like you've been

01:04:52

through a lot and you've done it with a

01:04:54

smile on your face and you've grit your

01:04:55

teeth and yeah you know you haven't you

01:04:58

you know you haven't given up on

01:04:59

yourself or on them no it's it's cool

01:05:02

yeah and I guess they're probably the

01:05:04

driving force too because you know like

01:05:06

they they we had to adapt and learn from

01:05:10

a young age how to replay you know spend

01:05:13

time with them because I couldn't get

01:05:15

down on the floor with them so we would

01:05:17

have little tables and we'd work cat

01:05:18

different things that we could do as

01:05:20

opposed to running outside and you know

01:05:22

mucking around because it wasn't

01:05:24

something I could do so we just

01:05:26

re-learned what we could do together at

01:05:28

those times and then they've just grown

01:05:30

with me at each stage that I've gone and

01:05:33

now they don't even they don't see it

01:05:35

they don't see that I'm an amputee

01:05:37

because it just is what it is and yeah

01:05:40

they don't and when people say to them

01:05:42

is your mum an amputee they're like oh

01:05:44

yeah and that's all they say yeah but I

01:05:46

suppose there's there's nothing that you

01:05:48

can't do though there isn't now yeah no

01:05:50

now there's no I don't have any

01:05:52

limitations at all

01:05:54

um yeah so I just so they they don't see

01:05:58

there either

01:05:59

um of anything they always laugh and say

01:06:02

that when they're sick

01:06:04

they're not sick in my eyes because

01:06:06

they're not really that sick and they're

01:06:08

like man you're so tough like you know

01:06:10

yeah they are they the same as your or

01:06:13

like are they are they quite um quite

01:06:15

tough cookies I've had to make them that

01:06:16

way in some ways because I don't let

01:06:18

them

01:06:19

have days off school

01:06:23

that was in the 1980s it was different

01:06:25

back then yeah yeah so I remember Jade

01:06:28

and she still remembers it like her toe

01:06:30

she had a sore toe and she kept going on

01:06:32

about and I'm like you'll be right

01:06:33

you'll be right it must be nice to have

01:06:35

toes yeah and then a week later it's

01:06:37

like fully infected and it's like okay

01:06:39

we better go to the doctor and she's

01:06:41

like geez mum I'm like I'm sorry like

01:06:43

you know I should have listened more

01:06:45

it's not that bad it could be worse it

01:06:48

could be worse yeah yeah so they've kind

01:06:50

of had to suck it up a lot so yeah I

01:06:52

guess they are probably quite tough

01:06:54

cookies and in a lot of ways yeah yeah

01:06:57

oh good stuff and and um how long how

01:07:00

long was it after

01:07:01

um losing the limbs that you that you

01:07:03

dreamed yourself without limbs

01:07:07

does that make sense I've had um I've

01:07:10

had numerous um numerous people on the

01:07:12

podcast

01:07:13

um Rachel wine and Liam alone couple of

01:07:15

amputees and uh Brett smailer and

01:07:17

another guy called um Kerry Suter who um

01:07:20

went from being able able-bodied to

01:07:21

being you know quadriplegics overnight

01:07:23

and there's a theory that um

01:07:27

that when you start dreaming yourself as

01:07:30

an amputee as and how you are that's

01:07:32

when you've truly come to accept it no

01:07:34

okay

01:07:35

haven't heard that before haven't you no

01:07:37

yeah no secret society they don't tell

01:07:40

you the story there you go yeah

01:07:42

um

01:07:44

I don't know I don't know if I've ever

01:07:46

had that thought

01:07:50

yeah it's just yeah I mean sometimes

01:07:54

I still get that that's like and you

01:07:57

it's weird what you what the brain does

01:07:59

like

01:08:01

I might have an itchy toe and I reach

01:08:03

down to scratch my tone it's not even

01:08:04

there but you have that sensation like

01:08:07

that happens a lot

01:08:09

that's kind of like that Phantom thing

01:08:11

yeah yeah so you can feel like the other

01:08:15

day I walked to work in the rain

01:08:17

and I felt like my feet were wet all day

01:08:19

and they probably were but I shouldn't

01:08:21

be able to feel that but I could that's

01:08:25

so interesting

01:08:26

yeah yeah so how old are you now what

01:08:28

are you 14 49 50. come on well 51 no 48

01:08:33

49 49. it's that big one this year oh is

01:08:36

it what are you doing I don't know

01:08:39

not accepting that very well oh really

01:08:41

no why I don't really want to turn 50.

01:08:44

oh come on grow up what do you already

01:08:46

have yeah and I I must admit I'd have a

01:08:50

big party I just had like a quiet dinner

01:08:51

party dinner party I was like I just

01:08:52

want to let it go but um it should be

01:08:54

something that's celebrated yeah I know

01:08:56

especially with what you've been through

01:08:57

yeah yeah yeah and the second half of

01:08:59

your life How's that gonna look what do

01:09:00

you want to do what do you want to

01:09:01

achieve

01:09:03

um

01:09:04

at the moment I am working

01:09:07

um so I'm a contractor so kind of

01:09:10

working for myself and and lots of ways

01:09:13

but I'm working for stats New Zealand in

01:09:16

the payroll team so that's been my bread

01:09:18

and butter literally his payroll

01:09:21

um so I'm pretty busy in there at the

01:09:23

moment

01:09:25

um

01:09:26

I'd love to work with amputees at some

01:09:29

stage just to

01:09:31

show them that what is possible and what

01:09:34

you can do

01:09:36

whether that is alongside at some point

01:09:39

or or what I have no idea what that

01:09:42

would be but that is something that irks

01:09:44

away at me about I'd love to be able to

01:09:47

do something along those lines just to

01:09:49

help others

01:09:51

carry on with your life when something

01:09:54

like this has happened

01:09:56

um

01:09:58

yeah and literally yeah just that other

01:10:00

half isn't it from 50 the other half of

01:10:03

your life well I recorded a podcast this

01:10:06

morning with um with a guy called Arch

01:10:08

jelly who used to be the coach of um

01:10:09

John Walker and he's he turns 101 in a

01:10:12

couple of months wow and he's fit and

01:10:14

he's healthy and he's vibrant and he's

01:10:16

he's uh mentally sharp yeah so yeah you

01:10:20

and I we shouldn't be winding down the

01:10:21

clock we should be just getting started

01:10:23

yeah that's it yeah and I do look at it

01:10:25

like that too like I just think I've got

01:10:27

heaps to do you know there's heaps of

01:10:29

life left to live isn't there and I'm

01:10:31

lucky I'm still here so and I'm healthy

01:10:35

so you know I can do

01:10:37

whatever really 100 100 you should be

01:10:41

getting your story out there as much as

01:10:42

what you can because you're um oh how do

01:10:44

you feel being called inspiring

01:10:45

does it sit comfortably with you or

01:10:48

some people feel real weird about it it

01:10:50

is a bit weird because you don't really

01:10:52

um

01:10:53

myself like that yeah but I suppose you

01:10:55

can you've been through a big thing and

01:10:56

no one knows how they're going to react

01:10:58

until they're they're faced with that

01:10:59

big thing yeah and you've um you've

01:11:01

faced it with uh courage and Grace and

01:11:03

dignity yeah yeah I think I think that

01:11:06

makes you inspiring yeah yeah people do

01:11:09

use that a lot yeah and and strong is

01:11:11

the other words that they use a lot but

01:11:15

um yeah I guess my kids are or Sam's 20

01:11:18

he's about to head off overseas

01:11:21

um in Jade 17 so she's only got one more

01:11:23

year left at work at school so they're

01:11:26

about to I'm probably more unhappy about

01:11:28

that yeah they're starting to go off and

01:11:31

live their own lives and it's like oh

01:11:33

you don't need me anymore yeah yeah yeah

01:11:36

yeah it kind of that's a bit sad that's

01:11:38

kind of yeah that's I suppose that's

01:11:39

just in its own sort of way a sense of

01:11:41

loss yeah it's weird like yeah it is it

01:11:43

is kind of it's like oh it's all

01:11:45

happening at once and I'm turning 50 at

01:11:46

the same time all right come on you've

01:11:49

survived meningitis you can survive this

01:11:51

you've got this I believe in you hey

01:11:53

Penny Taylor thank you so much for

01:11:54

coming on the podcast and sharing your

01:11:55

story sorry no problem I really

01:11:57

appreciate it and really nice to

01:11:58

reconnect again I know funny isn't it

01:12:00

it's a small world it really is

01:12:03

[Music]

01:12:17

thank you

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