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Oh, good. You're here. Come on. This is
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the center of performance. Whenever
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there's a top performance in New
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Zealand, it all comes from here. That's
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Lisa Carrington. She's been doing that
00:00:10
for days. That's the boys who got the
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hole in one in to
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Finn. How's the performance going?
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>> Top tier.
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>> Nice. This is our generate room. In
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here, you'll find our top performers
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helping Kiwis maximize their Kiwi Saver
00:00:24
investments. Get in here, Finn.
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Maximize. Generate. putting performance
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first.
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>> Mark Wilson, welcome to my podcast.
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>> Thank you. I'm very happy to be here.
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>> I'm happy to have you here. Um, you got
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this new book out, Wobbles. Where where
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did the nickname Wobbles come from?
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>> Uh, well, the people who are watching
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this will probably work it out, but um,
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but I was listening. Uh I have cable py
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which means I
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uh move around a lot quite a lot quite a
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bit more than most people. That's why
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I'm so skinnier as well. But not because
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I've under um so yeah, bubble this is a
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lick name that was um bought bought up
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and I thought you know what um it
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describes
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how I move um and it was sort of one of
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those things you know I did get bullied
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a lot though
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taking away one name I guess and owning
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It was I only it myself.
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>> Oh, like Yeah. So re reclaiming it.
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>> Absolutely.
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>> Are there any other any other names or
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words that you've reclaimed?
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>> Really get offended very easily. they
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get most
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most I like to have a bit of a laugh,
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you know, and um yeah, just words,
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you know, I get um just with my
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movements
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like how yeah, how I move, how I, you
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know, eating can be quite fun to watch.
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So, you know, um quite often my fingers
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get described as a bag of twisties. um
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which which cats and dogs love,
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especially if they're affectionate. But
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um
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>> yeah, like I say, I yeah, I do like to
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kind of have a bit of a laugh with
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>> with most situations. Um I feel like no
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matter what the situation, if you can
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sort of see any any funny joke, make the
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difficult parts a little bit easier to
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deal with.
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>> Yeah. My my hope um with this podcast is
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that um first of all it allows people to
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get to know you a bit better cuz you're
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a good bastard. Um and secondly it gives
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gives you people a greater understanding
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about CP and what it means to live with
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CP because I think a lot of us don't
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sort of have an understanding. Um so
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it's great to have you here and your
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your book by the way amazing wobbles. So
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people can look for that online and buy
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it online. Um but this is um apart from
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the beginning of it which sort of sets
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the tone for the book. If I'm going to
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tell my story, it's not going to be
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depressing. There won't be any feeling
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sorry for myself. I'm not a winger and I
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try to stay positive and that sets the
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tone for the book.
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>> Yeah. Um, like I say, it wasn't going to
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be what I was seeing. I'm very much a
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look at the butt side. Um, and I I I
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believe that um
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if you can't laugh at yourself or you
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know, then what you know what's the
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point? Well, everyone kind of has things
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going on, things they don't like about
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themselves or um but it's not it's I
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don't tend to take myself too seriously.
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I like to focus on what I can do rather
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than the things I can't do.
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>> And yeah, I wanted that to come across
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in the book.
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>> Yeah. Oh, and it did come across um
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Yeah. Yeah. Very very well. [ __ ]
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There's some good stories in there.
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>> Some of I'm reading I'm like, why would
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he why would he choose to leave this?
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>> Actually, I've got um I got a a visual
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um show and tell thing to begin with.
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What are what are these? paper clips. My
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nemesis.
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>> What's the significance significant of
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these little plastic things?
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>> These paper clips. Well, now they're
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paper is even worse. Um, but yes, brick
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clips are my nemesis. So why
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>> um my fine motor skills are the most
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effective of my py. Um, so for me trying
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to trying to take a break off a bread
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bag
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involves your two, you know, index
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finger and your thumb, which mine don't
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do as they told ever. M
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>> um so yeah, if I try and make myself a
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sandwich, I I end up with a
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deconstructed,
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you know, piece of bread that I've tried
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to push out a tiny hole or I just grab a
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knife and cut the bag open and then all
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the bread ruined for everyone else. So
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yeah, they like, you know, keep the bird
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fresh, but um whoever invented those did
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not have cable pausy at the front of
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their mind. What what what other um
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day-to-day things that that um some of
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us would take for granted um that you
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struggle with? Like can you do up the
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buttons? I'm I might ask some really
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dumb questions here, but I promise it
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doesn't I was going to say it doesn't
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come from a place of ignorance, but
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actually it does.
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>> That's fine. That's why I'm here.
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Can you can you do up buttons on your
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shirt?
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>> I cannot do up buttons. So, as much as I
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would like to sit here and look all
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sexy, my partner was not keen. So, um
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yeah, our morning routine looks quite
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quite different to a lot and uh it takes
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it takes a lot to get me to as people
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see me here. And at work, um, my partner
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has to prepare
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prepare my breakfast and then also feed
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it to me cuz I can't feed myself.
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>> Um, and then obviously, yeah, to get
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ready for work, I have to button my
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shirt up before before I leave the
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house. Um
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yeah, so certain things like that which
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I I guess are not not quite normal for
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anyone else. Um I always have to be uh
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conscious of okay who's around how can I
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get what I need today? So I need you
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know food, water to get dressed for
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work. Um and how is it going to look?
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I guess my life revolves around being
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reliant on other people, which is which
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is quite
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it's it's hard. I obviously prefer to be
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a lot more independent, but that's not
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the case. Um but yeah, I
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it it works and we I want to be uh part
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of society like everyone else, which is
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why when I'm outside of home. Um you
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won't see a lot of that going on. When I
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leave the house, I'm prepared. I have
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everything I need to get me through that
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that day or that event or or whatever.
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But um yeah, and obviously coming home
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but work at least is there my partner is
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there again to to feed me. Um yeah,
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we're lucky that we have um you know, my
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mom and dad are still around and her
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parents as well.
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you know, cuz I don't want uh my partner
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to miss out on things like, you know,
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going away with the girls or with work.
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Um because she feel like she has to, you
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know, feed me or be my
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>> be my helper. I didn't want to help her.
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I wanted a partner.
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>> Yeah.
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>> Um so that line gets very can be quite
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bad. But yeah, um yeah, we we like to
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have mom and dad around to to kind of
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step in when so can still go and do
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those things just as I can. Um yeah. So
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yeah, it's um we make it work. And I say
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it's all because um yeah, I I feel like
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I don't have any excuse not to be, you
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know, out there working, contributing.
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Yeah.
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Yeah. It's a it's um I mean there
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there's not an ounce of self-pity from
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you, but it's it's a rough hand to be
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dealt because everything is that much
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harder. But um it's worth pointing out
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um like you're an incredibly smart dude
00:09:24
like in the top 15% of your classes at
00:09:26
university. You got a business degree.
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You work as a business an analysist
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at um A&Z Bank. Um you're you know
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you're a smart guy and you're
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contributing member to society, but
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everything just takes that much longer.
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It's it's it's it's rough.
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>> It is. Yeah, it is rough. And I I don't
00:09:44
like to dwell on it, but I do like that
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um the book has kind of opened a little
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bit of a window into what it's like. And
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I guess talking to um
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>> on these kind of platforms is another
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really great way just so people
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can just Yeah. pull the curtain back and
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say, "Holy crap." Like
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>> like
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to to see my at work. they see me as a
00:10:13
colleague and probably no idea what goes
00:10:16
on to to get me to that point. Um, but
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no, I I say before I don't like to dwell
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with it and yeah, I don't feel I have
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any excuse not to be not to be out
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there.
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>> So, um, you can you you've got your
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license, you drive your own car.
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>> Yeah.
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>> Is it is it mod modified or anything?
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>> I was quite fortunate. My my father and
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all his fatherly wisdom decided that
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before I could walk, I was going to
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drive a go-kart.
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I didn't walk till I was 6 years old. Um
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he got me the go-kart at five and he was
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sort of like, well, if he's not going to
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walk, you're still going to get around
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somehow. Um which made it a lot easier
00:11:01
when it came time to get my driver's
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license. Um and that is one of the
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things that really changed um
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changed my life. Um it gave me a whole
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new independence
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cuz I'm so dependent back then on my
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mom.
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>> Um and then I was like all of a sudden,
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wow, I can take myself to school. I can
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go and see my my f my other family
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members. I Yeah, it was just it was it
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was really cool. So, yeah, quite
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fortunate. Um I aced all the driving uh
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lessons and um tests and all that. Um
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and yeah, my dad also is into cars. So
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very yeah
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as as well as the daily brother I I own
00:12:00
a V8 hold in Kingswood 1973. So
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>> yeah you're a bogan e
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or Aussie or whatever you want to call
00:12:12
me. I prefer boers cuz I'm definitely
00:12:15
not Australian. Um
00:12:18
>> but yeah. No it's good.
00:12:20
>> You well full transparency I I drive a
00:12:22
Holden as well. I didn't realize it was
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a bogan car until I got it. I got a
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Holden Commodore and my sister said to
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me, um, she goes, "Oh, you're a you're a
00:12:29
cub." And I said, "What's a cub?" She
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said, "It's a cashed up bogan."
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>> But you're, um, I'm not a bogan, though.
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Like, but you you were a full bogan.
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Like, um, yeah, your favorite band's
00:12:38
Devil Skin. You
00:12:39
>> Absolutely.
00:12:40
>> You've been to more Devil Skin concerts
00:12:41
than maybe the bass player of Devil
00:12:43
Skin?
00:12:43
>> Probably. Yeah. Yeah.
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>> Like 100.
00:12:45
>> It's insane. Yeah. I think I I think I
00:12:48
went to two I think I went to three of
00:12:50
their concerts on one of their tours.
00:12:53
just a bit is a bit lut. But I love
00:12:56
Yeah, I do. I love rock music. Devil
00:12:59
skin was kind of coming on the scene
00:13:02
when I got into into rock music and I
00:13:04
just was like, "Oh, wow. These two guys
00:13:06
that go, "Oh crap, they're from New
00:13:08
Zealand." Like that's even that's even
00:13:11
better. Yeah.
00:13:12
>> And massive massive um Greg Murphy fan.
00:13:14
He was probably your favorite athlete
00:13:16
growing up. Have you have you met Murf?
00:13:17
Do you know Murf?
00:13:18
>> I have not met Greg yet. And it would be
00:13:21
great to be able to or even get him a
00:13:24
copy of the book cuz he he is uh he does
00:13:28
get a mention.
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>> Well, he he gets just about as many
00:13:30
mentions as your mom.
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>> He's so thirsty for M.
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>> He was childhood idol. Um yeah, but um
00:13:39
yeah, he he was your dad loved V8 and he
00:13:44
was the Kiwi driver.
00:13:46
Yeah. So, he was a like you did child
00:13:49
childhood idol. Yeah. Growing up.
00:13:53
>> So, um there's there's a phrase that um
00:13:55
people use these days when they they
00:13:56
talk about um when they talk about
00:13:59
different sort of um I don't know if
00:14:00
disability is the words, but if they if
00:14:02
you talk about ADHD or you talk about
00:14:04
autism or you talk about CP, there's a
00:14:06
phrase that people use. They say it's a
00:14:07
superpower. Have you heard that?
00:14:09
>> I've heard it. I don't quite
00:14:13
>> Yeah. Would you say it's a superpower? I
00:14:14
haven't quite got uncomfortable with
00:14:17
anything, but I I haven't quite I guess
00:14:19
you could say own that word yet. It's
00:14:22
not really um I think uh
00:14:26
the some of the things that I can do
00:14:31
because of my zero could be a superpower
00:14:34
like like what I can cut my lines at the
00:14:37
airport
00:14:40
like that's awesome. Like people love
00:14:43
traveling with me because it's like boo
00:14:45
just get my Oh yeah. So yeah all the
00:14:49
kids probably not after this but
00:14:54
everyone knows my secret now. Um and you
00:14:58
you got um when you were little you got
00:14:59
a you some of your poor behavior got got
00:15:02
let off. You were excused.
00:15:04
>> Yeah. A bit like that. I had a teacher
00:15:06
Yeah. It was my mom actually made him
00:15:10
discipline me cuz he wasn't going to but
00:15:13
uh yeah mom got in there made sure made
00:15:16
sure I got the same punishment which is
00:15:19
good I want to be treated like everyone
00:15:22
else. Um but yeah back then I was like
00:15:26
what are you what are you doing? But no,
00:15:30
so the word superower I I think in the
00:15:34
in the
00:15:36
in the context of what I can do um
00:15:39
because of it that some people can't
00:15:41
maybe
00:15:42
>> maybe but I I do like that it's it's a
00:15:46
good word that is associated
00:15:50
with disability. Um
00:15:53
>> cuz quite old they just like [ __ ] or
00:15:56
handic handicap they still carry some
00:16:00
kind of negative and people getting can
00:16:03
become offended by those words. I
00:16:06
certainly got called a lot though those
00:16:09
things. Um,
00:16:11
but yes, so I guess any any word that
00:16:15
empowers
00:16:16
disability is is great, far better than
00:16:20
the ones that I I just mentioned.
00:16:22
>> Yeah. Oh, well said. All right, let's go
00:16:25
back to the early years. First of all,
00:16:27
Mark Wilson, what are your earliest
00:16:29
memories? my earliest memories.
00:16:33
You got to be careful here because I've
00:16:34
obviously read my own I've read my own
00:16:37
story from the aspects of my mom. So try
00:16:41
not to make up my um memories.
00:16:45
There's there's memories of being fed my
00:16:50
back then, you know, I had a bottle um
00:16:53
from my dad. That was always one of my
00:16:55
my favorite times. um in the morning. Um
00:17:02
yeah, in our in our old house. That
00:17:04
would probably be one of my earliest
00:17:06
earliest memories.
00:17:09
>> I I did a lot of therapy as a kid. Yeah.
00:17:12
>> Like not like um
00:17:15
therapy as we used
00:17:17
>> physical therapy.
00:17:17
>> Yeah. Physical. Um
00:17:20
>> I don't actually have a lot of memory
00:17:22
>> of that. I'm not sure if that's because
00:17:25
I was young or because it was a a time
00:17:30
for us.
00:17:31
>> Um,
00:17:33
which I'm I think I'm quite lucky cuz
00:17:35
I've only got good memories of
00:17:37
>> both my mom and my dad as as a kid, but
00:17:42
it was very different for
00:17:46
>> for them. Um,
00:17:49
yeah. So, so I think that would be the
00:17:52
first kind of Yeah. in the lounge with
00:17:54
dad.
00:17:55
>> Mhm.
00:17:55
>> Yeah.
00:17:56
>> The um in your book Wobbles, there's um
00:17:59
there's sections that are written by
00:18:00
your mom and sections that are written
00:18:01
by your dad. And [ __ ] the the work they
00:18:03
put in to um create the man that's
00:18:06
sitting in front of me today. It's
00:18:07
tremendous. E it's a it's a tremendous I
00:18:10
I suppose sacrifice is the word. Like
00:18:12
the um the outcome for you at birth was
00:18:13
that you you don't be unlikely to ever
00:18:15
walk or talk.
00:18:16
>> Yeah, that's correct. Yeah. So my mom
00:18:18
and dad were told I would never walk or
00:18:21
talk. Don't And I also told
00:18:26
like what what does that mean? Yeah.
00:18:28
Don't expect much. That's that's you. Um
00:18:32
and dad
00:18:34
he was really he didn't like not being
00:18:38
able to do anything. He's like there's
00:18:41
got to be something I can do to help.
00:18:45
Um, and they had no idea of what my
00:18:48
future looked like. They just wanted to
00:18:52
do anything something. Um, and yeah, the
00:18:56
fact and it was a sacrifice. Um,
00:19:01
the fact that they're still together is
00:19:04
an absolute miracle. And there's no
00:19:07
other way to put it cuz I know families
00:19:10
that
00:19:11
>> didn't do a program but have disabled
00:19:14
children and it's just unfortunately it
00:19:17
becomes too much and you get consumed by
00:19:20
it and um unfortunately you um there's a
00:19:25
highlight separation of
00:19:28
>> um but yeah my parents are they st by
00:19:31
each other um through some really tough
00:19:36
really tough times and I'm I'm very
00:19:38
thankful. Um I was born into amazing
00:19:42
parents. Um
00:19:46
it's my I know it's my story but I guess
00:19:49
reading it from my dad's and and my
00:19:53
perspective even made me think like you
00:19:58
know would I would I be that dedicated?
00:20:02
Would could I do what they what they did
00:20:07
if I hadn't I don't have children but
00:20:10
could I you know would I be willing to
00:20:13
do what they did to sacrifice so much
00:20:15
and it's a
00:20:16
>> it's a question I Yeah.
00:20:20
Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Cuz it was
00:20:22
>> I think you just would it's it's
00:20:23
unconditional love at the end of the
00:20:25
day.
00:20:25
>> Absolutely. Yeah. There's um yeah in the
00:20:28
opening chapter from um your mom Shirley
00:20:31
um there's there's a quote here um which
00:20:34
is just [ __ ] heartbreaking um I was
00:20:36
such a bad mother a complete failure
00:20:39
every night I hated my son and I hated
00:20:42
myself even more for hating him. Yeah.
00:20:45
Like when when you're reading the draft
00:20:46
of the book and you read that how how do
00:20:49
you feel?
00:20:51
I I read it, this is going to sound
00:20:54
weird, but I read it as though I was I
00:20:57
was reading it from an outside like it
00:21:01
didn't really register that that was my
00:21:04
mom or she was talking about me. I was
00:21:07
just reading it as like like anyone else
00:21:11
would read it. M
00:21:13
>> and then there was like the the second
00:21:15
part kicked in which is what your which
00:21:18
what you used to listen to was holy [ __ ]
00:21:22
that's my mom
00:21:23
>> you're talking about me
00:21:25
>> that's my that's her story and that's
00:21:27
what I I led her to feel like that and I
00:21:33
got not that it was my fault but I I
00:21:37
didn't feel bad or like hated or
00:21:40
anything I just like uh like
00:21:44
just yeah felt very I felt sorry for um
00:21:50
and yeah just I
00:21:53
but with me I'm like so thankful cuz I
00:21:55
know she didn't she didn't do all that
00:21:59
and go through those difficult times and
00:22:02
>> as you said I wouldn't be here talking
00:22:04
to you like this um yeah know if it
00:22:07
wasn't for their hard hard work your
00:22:09
life would look completely different
00:22:10
Where is there a moment like do you
00:22:12
remember the the first time that you um
00:22:14
became aware that you were different?
00:22:17
>> Uh yes I do. Um
00:22:19
the therapy involved
00:22:22
30 volunteers coming into our house
00:22:25
every week.
00:22:26
>> Wow.
00:22:26
>> We worked 4 hours a day, six days a week
00:22:29
on on doing on doing exercises. Um and
00:22:35
that was up until I was still 6 years
00:22:38
old. So my from birth to six, I had just
00:22:44
been surrounded by people that knew the
00:22:47
situation in me. I had this great like
00:22:50
village I guess and they all be there
00:22:54
for one goal and that was to get my
00:22:57
talking or walking or or whatever. Um,
00:23:01
and then where I went to school,
00:23:03
a mainstream school, I had a walking
00:23:07
frame and no other kid had walking
00:23:10
frame. I had a teacher aid, no other kid
00:23:14
had teacher aid. And I was like, ah, all
00:23:17
right. Like I always knew like mom and
00:23:20
dad I knew I was different because I had
00:23:22
cousins and stuff and
00:23:25
a sister
00:23:27
but I never
00:23:29
never really I never sunk in that I was
00:23:33
actually like not like everyone else.
00:23:37
>> Yeah. Um, so yeah, thankfully primary
00:23:41
school kids are are more curious than
00:23:45
anything. They they see someone like me
00:23:47
and they they want they really, you
00:23:51
know, you would think they're rude, but
00:23:54
they just they just want to know.
00:23:56
>> It's innocence.
00:23:57
>> Yeah, it's so innocent. And um and once
00:24:00
they know, that's it. They just want to
00:24:03
carry on. they want to play or you know
00:24:07
it's it's so easy. Yeah, my my primary
00:24:10
school was
00:24:12
would filled with lots of fun and
00:24:14
friends and there was the you know as
00:24:17
you go through the years everyone knows
00:24:20
who you are and the young ones all kind
00:24:22
of get you know get older that's my you
00:24:26
know don't believe everyone half the
00:24:29
school
00:24:31
um
00:24:33
yeah stepping out of primary school into
00:24:37
into college was where um
00:24:41
that was where I really kind of it
00:24:44
really set in me that okay
00:24:47
>> I'm a hell of a lot
00:24:49
>> um
00:24:50
>> and like
00:24:53
since that point
00:24:56
my cable py was always viewed as a good
00:25:00
thing
00:25:01
>> like like you said hey maybe that word
00:25:04
is good like a superpower I guess Um and
00:25:08
then it was quickly turned around and um
00:25:12
what the I guess it was the butt of
00:25:15
every joke at school. It was um
00:25:19
Yeah, it was the most low hanging fruit
00:25:23
I guess. And um
00:25:24
>> is this secondary school we're talking
00:25:25
about here?
00:25:26
>> Secondary school. Yeah.
00:25:27
>> Did Did you Did you spend much time like
00:25:29
wishing things were different or asking
00:25:31
why me? I mean you're such a positive
00:25:33
guy now, but were there periods or
00:25:34
patches?
00:25:36
like like kind of a what if thing?
00:25:39
>> Yeah. Well, just like why me? Why you
00:25:41
know?
00:25:42
>> Absolutely. Like even even today I you
00:25:47
know I I want to go and have a pie like
00:25:51
I can't do that. You know why? Yeah.
00:25:55
I I carry on. But um yeah, in those in
00:25:59
those years definitely, you know, lying
00:26:02
in bed, didn't want to get out of bed
00:26:04
because I knew what school was going to
00:26:06
be. And you just look at everyone else
00:26:09
at school.
00:26:11
>> You got 1,200 kids and here I am. It's
00:26:16
like, well,
00:26:17
how what? Yeah. So, absolutely. I had
00:26:21
that. Why me? Um,
00:26:24
yeah, it pissed me off, but I think my
00:26:28
my upbringing was is not to feel sorry
00:26:32
for yourself and um I never really let
00:26:36
it get
00:26:37
>> get beyond get beyond that and um chose
00:26:41
to focus on on more positive things.
00:26:45
>> Yeah.
00:26:46
>> How um yeah the the the bullying at
00:26:49
school what like what what did it look
00:26:50
like? What were they saying or doing?
00:26:52
But you know you you get bullies and you
00:26:54
get the you get the ones that not many
00:26:58
brain cells to put together. So you know
00:27:01
they just they say what they say it's
00:27:04
like [ __ ] or that was a big one or um
00:27:08
something they got quite clever. I
00:27:10
remember when KFC did a a promotion on
00:27:16
boneless chicken.
00:27:18
I got called by the chicken for for
00:27:22
quite a while. Yeah,
00:27:24
I was like girl
00:27:28
original.
00:27:29
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:27:30
>> Yeah. So that one stood out. But now the
00:27:34
big one was
00:27:37
handy [ __ ]
00:27:39
>> It's disgusting.
00:27:41
>> Yeah. Oh, it it was what it was. um
00:27:46
I had quite the quite the vocabulary
00:27:50
as as well. So um I didn't
00:27:55
I wasn't one to just take it. I sort of
00:27:58
used my um my cousins on the farm and
00:28:03
they had them their old they taught me
00:28:06
some colorful language out there. So
00:28:08
yeah, I would always fire something back
00:28:11
twice as bad as what they would and I'd
00:28:14
be the one that got in trouble.
00:28:20
You know, you know, you you sort of
00:28:22
allude to this in your in your book, but
00:28:24
it's um the way it's written, it's very
00:28:26
politely, but um yeah, this is a
00:28:28
podcast, so it's the wild west. Anything
00:28:32
goes, what what were some of the
00:28:33
retaliations? You you'd say to them that
00:28:35
you you [ __ ] their mom.
00:28:37
>> They were some something very Yeah.
00:28:40
>> Like what exactly?
00:28:42
>> It' be oh, you know, I get called
00:28:44
something and I'd say, "Oh, your mom was
00:28:46
loving it last night."
00:28:52
Yeah. And um yeah, I used to get more
00:28:57
the bullies for the girls when I would
00:29:00
say, you know, you wouldn't even get to
00:29:03
the hook or
00:29:07
so they call me this and I'd fire back
00:29:10
that I'd fire that with that and
00:29:14
was in the pit office.
00:29:17
I sometimes you'd even say to the
00:29:19
bullies that you you you'd done sexual
00:29:21
stuff with their dad.
00:29:22
>> Absolutely. Nothing nothing was off
00:29:25
limits, right?
00:29:27
You you have a go at me. I I'll have a
00:29:30
go at you. But be prepared. I think one
00:29:33
one girl even even uh she started
00:29:37
crying. I was like, "Hang on, you're the
00:29:40
one that go um and you can't cop it.
00:29:45
Don't don't don't d it out.
00:29:48
>> Um
00:29:50
yeah, they were some of my um more more
00:29:53
out there comments that would have me
00:29:55
quite a lot quite a lot of trouble. Um
00:30:00
but yeah, usually it was just a lot of
00:30:02
swearing at them or, you know, drop the
00:30:05
bomb in there and
00:30:06
>> and stuff. It was I don't feel bad for
00:30:10
it. Um, and it it didn't it doesn't
00:30:14
help. I still got bullied. Like
00:30:17
>> I guess it was a sort of a small wind
00:30:21
type thing, but
00:30:23
>> I looking back maybe I don't know if I
00:30:26
would have handled myself any different.
00:30:28
No, I
00:30:31
it was at the time like I say as
00:30:37
gave me a small win but I can put up
00:30:40
with name calling I don't that like [ __ ]
00:30:44
whatever you know the more the better
00:30:47
that's why
00:30:49
but the um
00:30:51
>> what really got to me was the the social
00:30:55
exclusion
00:30:56
and it was
00:30:58
yeah to the point where
00:31:01
the bobbies would
00:31:04
bobby anyone who even tried to talk to
00:31:07
me or become my friend. So that's like
00:31:12
that was what got me. Um, and
00:31:16
unfortunately it was I'm not sexist but
00:31:19
it was the girl like guys did say
00:31:22
something you punch in the face and you
00:31:26
carry on. But man, girls get they get
00:31:28
really really nasty and um yeah, so why
00:31:34
would you come and hang out with Mark if
00:31:36
you're going to get bullied for it like
00:31:38
that? So, so yeah, that was a new one
00:31:41
for me cuz I' i'd never experienced that
00:31:44
before at P music school. Um,
00:31:48
so yeah, that that was that was probably
00:31:50
the toughest part of part of it.
00:31:52
>> Yeah. So, were you there that was the
00:31:55
worst time of your life, would you say,
00:31:56
through high school?
00:31:59
>> Definitely one of the worst. Absolutely.
00:32:01
Um there were people in the school I
00:32:06
guess worried but I I I
00:32:10
wasn't a telltale cuz like I always see
00:32:14
something
00:32:16
twice as bad as back if I tell someone
00:32:20
they've got they got ammunition as well.
00:32:24
So I should have just shut my mouth but
00:32:27
you know here we are. But um
00:32:31
so no it was um it was definitely
00:32:35
definitely one of the double time they
00:32:37
were concerned you know school
00:32:40
counselors got involved just on my part
00:32:44
but not many people I don't think anyone
00:32:49
knew
00:32:51
my mom and dad didn't know until they
00:32:54
read the book so
00:32:55
>> Oh really? That was quite
00:32:58
>> That was quite That was probably the
00:33:01
hardest bit for both mom and dad to like
00:33:06
they were just getting told, "Oh, Mark's
00:33:11
not doing or he norally does or Mark
00:33:15
said this to someone." Um and I just
00:33:19
take the pose.
00:33:21
>> Why um why did your parents not know
00:33:23
until the book was coming out? you when
00:33:25
you read the book, you get a sense of
00:33:26
your upbringing. Your parents, as we've
00:33:28
established, they they did all they can
00:33:30
to give you the best life possible. They
00:33:32
didn't want you to be treated any
00:33:33
differently. Um there were even times
00:33:35
where they forced the school to punish
00:33:37
you cuz the school was going to Why Why
00:33:39
didn't you go home and tell them what
00:33:40
was happening at school?
00:33:42
>> It's almost like you're protecting the
00:33:43
bullies in a way. Well, I said before,
00:33:45
I'd say something's quite as bad, but
00:33:49
like I'm going to get myself in trouble
00:33:51
as well, but I I guess I'm just not not
00:33:56
really a telltale. That was sort of the
00:34:00
that was where it come from. And I don't
00:34:03
I think also I I thought at the time
00:34:10
um that would bring more attention
00:34:14
to me like you know if the if that was
00:34:18
happening the school were very quick to
00:34:22
put it in a news like we don't tolerate
00:34:24
this
00:34:25
>> okay
00:34:26
>> or or get me get take make a big
00:34:29
statement at assembly I'm like I don't
00:34:32
want to be single out like that's why
00:34:35
I'm getting bodies in first place like
00:34:37
it's um a little more
00:34:41
um but Yeah, that's why I didn't really
00:34:46
I didn't really tell anyone.
00:34:49
Yeah. Um, what about you had a teachers
00:34:51
aid? Where was your teachers aid when
00:34:53
when all this was going on
00:34:54
>> again?
00:34:57
I sort of had it from her as well. At
00:35:00
lunchtime, I didn't have a teacher aid.
00:35:02
>> Yeah. Um,
00:35:05
and they
00:35:07
I guess they didn't really know me from
00:35:09
primary school, so they kind of maybe
00:35:11
thought this was my behavior was was
00:35:15
just me. That was how I was. Um, no,
00:35:19
look, I don't blame anyone. Like the
00:35:22
schools are always they do their best,
00:35:24
right? But in my view, there will always
00:35:27
be bullies
00:35:29
no matter what you do. Every school has
00:35:30
them. M
00:35:32
>> um and I unfortunately you know you got
00:35:37
to find your own way to to kind of cope
00:35:41
and look absolutely education is great
00:35:45
knowing that it's not okay you know um
00:35:49
that's great too but the the best thing
00:35:52
you can do is is just play and find
00:35:55
something that you love outside of
00:35:58
outside of that um issue and just focus
00:36:02
on that. Just go go for that and you
00:36:05
know you got amazing parents or someone
00:36:08
around you. Um that's what get me going
00:36:12
was I had this amazing
00:36:15
network outside of school.
00:36:19
So I was only at school for so many
00:36:22
hours a day and after that I was like I
00:36:26
had a great network of people. I had my
00:36:28
family. of doing cool things. Um, I just
00:36:34
did my best to focus on on on that side
00:36:38
of my life rather than getting bogged
00:36:41
down in
00:36:42
>> what was going on at school.
00:36:44
>> What would from what I can gather, I
00:36:47
think I may have read this in your book,
00:36:48
there's something like 1,700 people in
00:36:50
in New Zealand with CP.
00:36:53
What would your message be to like any
00:36:55
any younger person that's still going
00:36:57
through school that has CP? What would
00:36:59
you say to them?
00:37:00
>> Exactly. That is just yeah, find
00:37:03
something that you enjoy or focus on the
00:37:07
people who do love you and support you
00:37:11
and like
00:37:14
you don't need to worry about the other
00:37:16
people. They're not even be
00:37:20
for five or six years. They'll probably
00:37:22
go to um clean the toilet somewhere
00:37:27
after, you know,
00:37:28
>> or be hookers.
00:37:29
>> That's right. Yeah. Yeah.
00:37:34
[ __ ] a savage. Actually, there's
00:37:37
Yeah. Um there there's even a story you
00:37:39
you told a stranger to [ __ ] off when you
00:37:41
were four.
00:37:43
>> Yeah. Yeah. I think mom tried to cover
00:37:46
that one up and was like, "No, that's
00:37:49
not what he
00:37:51
was exactly what I said."
00:37:55
>> How How did you know the f word at four?
00:37:57
Like I say, I c
00:38:00
>> and um and dad's language wasn't the
00:38:03
greatest I
00:38:08
swear as bad just in context. It's okay.
00:38:11
Um and yeah, we just got brought up.
00:38:16
>> It was it was like you were born a
00:38:17
bogan. Eh,
00:38:18
>> but having 30
00:38:21
strangers volunteers, they were
00:38:24
strangers. We used to advertise in the
00:38:26
paper
00:38:28
for help with my therapy. So, and there
00:38:31
was no police meeting back then or
00:38:34
anything. He's just like, "Yeah, we're
00:38:36
taking anyone we could." Like, "Yeah,
00:38:39
you want to put up with my son for now?"
00:38:41
Yeah, go for it. Um, and they all had
00:38:45
colorful language and stuff. They were
00:38:48
all all of them were such amazing
00:38:52
people.
00:38:53
I just love that they're part of my
00:38:58
story and journey. Not one of them was
00:39:02
had negative experience stuff and we got
00:39:05
we were very um spoiled who we got to
00:39:09
come into our house. It was great.
00:39:12
>> Yeah. So these these volunteers So
00:39:13
that's I'm I guess this is like the late
00:39:16
' 90s early 2000s.
00:39:18
>> Yes, that's right.
00:39:19
>> Yeah. What was in it for them? Just a
00:39:21
sense of a sense of goodwill
00:39:23
>> giving back.
00:39:24
>> Yeah. Mom was always really big on like
00:39:27
she hated me and it's like why would any
00:39:30
other person I mean willingly choose to
00:39:34
like be with my son. Um
00:39:38
but the world is is good and this is why
00:39:40
I love I love doing what we're doing. I
00:39:45
love talking. I love hearing people's
00:39:47
stories. I love sharing mine
00:39:50
is that there are such good people out
00:39:53
there. M
00:39:54
>> and that they you're right, John. They
00:39:57
did it for just the good of um
00:40:02
there was one man he
00:40:07
um he just said it um it changed his
00:40:11
life by helping me change his life. he
00:40:15
um wasn't very present with his kids
00:40:20
back when they were young and he still
00:40:23
kind of saw it as a not making up or
00:40:26
maybe yeah making up for that and it's
00:40:29
um so you don't know what people's
00:40:31
legends are.
00:40:32
>> Yeah,
00:40:33
>> we were just very
00:40:35
thankful that they were there. Um and
00:40:38
yeah, I'm still friends with some of
00:40:41
them today which is good.
00:40:43
>> Yeah.
00:40:45
Um,
00:40:46
just back to the bullying thing. So,
00:40:48
after leaving school, like um have have
00:40:50
you bumped into any of these bullies?
00:40:52
You seen seen them in the wild? Um,
00:40:56
not I did get one of them a few years
00:40:59
ago. Maybe it was after a concert. I did
00:41:04
bump into at the end I bumped into a few
00:41:07
at a concert or out in town when I was
00:41:11
18, 19. Um,
00:41:14
and I was fortunate to have my own
00:41:17
friend. I had a good friend group uh
00:41:20
after school and yeah, they want to come
00:41:22
up and pretend everything was great and
00:41:26
it's like hang on like you were [ __ ] I'm
00:41:29
not talk to you. It's like I didn't
00:41:33
remember what you did like um Yeah. And
00:41:36
they were Yeah. They wanted to talk cuz
00:41:40
everyone was like, you know, I was
00:41:43
having a good time with people and they
00:41:46
kind of try and get it's like no, hang
00:41:49
on. I'm not Yeah, there's no I know what
00:41:52
you did. Um, and yeah, I I haven't fell
00:41:56
into many, but yeah, definitely a few.
00:41:58
It's been interesting how they just uh
00:42:02
very short memories.
00:42:03
>> Yeah. Yeah. You wonder you wonder how
00:42:05
they how they reflect on that time and
00:42:06
maybe maybe they've minimized their own
00:42:08
behavior or maybe they feel guilty for
00:42:10
being [ __ ]
00:42:11
>> I do have a good story. I when I first
00:42:15
moved to Aland I moved out with my mate
00:42:18
but he went uh away and lives in the UK
00:42:23
and he is my carer. So I got another car
00:42:27
and and he was actually a bully from my
00:42:30
school that bullied me.
00:42:32
>> Oh. And the first thing I said to him
00:42:34
when he walked in, I'm like, "You used
00:42:37
to bully me." And he goes, "Yep, I was
00:42:40
an absolute [ __ ] at school and I'm
00:42:44
so sorry." And that's the only time I've
00:42:47
he owned it. He's just like, "Yeah, I
00:42:49
was a prick. I was an absolute He said
00:42:52
the C word of a child." Um, he just
00:42:56
owned it and we became great mates. Like
00:42:58
he he was such a good carer. M
00:43:01
>> um and we joked about it but after that
00:43:04
but so that was the one moment where
00:43:07
yeah someone has actually owned it.
00:43:10
>> Yeah the impact um god kids can be so
00:43:13
cruel eag
00:43:15
>> I'm getting upset just thinking
00:43:17
teenagers you think you think they'd
00:43:18
know that's an age where you'd know
00:43:20
better but I suppose it I don't know I
00:43:22
don't know
00:43:23
>> you're a lot more socially aware of like
00:43:26
of your image which I hate. I'm
00:43:29
>> I'm such a big advocate for being
00:43:32
yourself, being genuine.
00:43:35
Um, and unfortunately, the way the world
00:43:38
is right now is going everything against
00:43:42
that.
00:43:42
>> Um,
00:43:44
>> you always trying to recreate someone's
00:43:47
Instagram page. Um, which ain't live.
00:43:50
It's a slipper of it's the good part of
00:43:54
>> it's not life. But unfortunately, we
00:43:57
live in a world where you kids are
00:44:00
striving
00:44:01
for that. Um, and when you're at at
00:44:07
college, you know, it's not very good
00:44:10
for your image, but it wasn't when I was
00:44:13
at college to to be hanging around with
00:44:15
a disabled dude.
00:44:17
>> Yeah.
00:44:19
Yeah, it's frustrating the way from what
00:44:21
I know about um CP is like on the inside
00:44:24
you feel completely normal, but it's
00:44:26
just this um this this disability or
00:44:28
this condition that's visible from the
00:44:30
outside, but anyone that takes um a
00:44:33
moment to and it does require a little
00:44:35
bit of patience like to get to know you
00:44:37
or to get to get through that. Um you
00:44:40
you get to meet a really good bastard. I
00:44:42
think I think that's that is my I will
00:44:46
call it a superpower is that I have an
00:44:49
amazing filter for [ __ ]
00:44:53
>> Um because as you just said it once you
00:44:57
take some time to get to know me, you
00:45:00
know, listen and you work out I'm just
00:45:03
like everyone else told this guy a good
00:45:05
bastard. Let's go have a beer. like um
00:45:08
that and the people that don't hear me
00:45:12
or they'll they'll talk overly or at me
00:45:16
and I've said something and they'll
00:45:18
answer with something completely
00:45:20
different. It's like, okay, you haven't
00:45:23
taken the time to try and understand me
00:45:27
or even ask me to repeat myself. Um you
00:45:31
know, it's probably a little bit insight
00:45:33
into the kind of person they are. So,
00:45:37
I'm left with like this pool of just
00:45:41
really good people
00:45:42
>> that are genuine and yeah I I say
00:45:47
definitely a superpower I can I can spot
00:45:50
[ __ ] for my a mile away.
00:45:54
>> Yeah
00:45:56
of experience you weed out the fakes.
00:45:58
>> Absolutely. Yeah.
00:46:01
>> Um what uh yeah when do you think your
00:46:04
mom's been most proud of you?
00:46:08
That's a good question.
00:46:10
Yeah. Um maybe the moving out home.
00:46:15
Um
00:46:17
possibly the jobs at the first job at
00:46:21
Jim and the second job at a dead.
00:46:26
I guess they were the things that
00:46:29
um
00:46:31
that you could never imagine
00:46:34
>> in those times that you you talked about
00:46:37
before that if someone told her that I
00:46:40
was going to work um
00:46:43
>> in the finance department for New
00:46:46
Zealand's largest bank, she was Thompson
00:46:49
to [ __ ] off.
00:46:52
>> She put my big cheeky or something just
00:46:55
Yeah. I didn't want to hear it. Um,
00:46:58
no. And I think and I have just bought
00:47:02
the house and she loves to see um
00:47:08
me and my partner and my partner's two
00:47:11
kids. He just love to see
00:47:13
>> me in a home with a family, I guess. Um
00:47:18
I think that's what she'd be most
00:47:21
>> proud of. But there's there's um yeah
00:47:23
there's so many um like milestones that
00:47:26
you've accomplished in your life that
00:47:27
that would make her proud. That's why I
00:47:28
thought that's a reasonable question to
00:47:30
ask cuz there's yeah little things like
00:47:32
I suppose there was a period there when
00:47:34
you were little where you both your
00:47:36
parents thought this is going to be
00:47:37
there a lot in life like looking after
00:47:39
looking after you. So to see you fly the
00:47:41
nest and have this independence. It's
00:47:43
it's it's [ __ ] cool.
00:47:44
>> Yeah.
00:47:45
>> It's really cool.
00:47:46
>> It was kind of a double sword for mom
00:47:48
though. Like that was her I was her
00:47:51
wife. M
00:47:52
>> for 23 years like
00:47:56
if her life revolves around me
00:47:59
>> and then one day that was just not there
00:48:03
>> and poor timing my sister who is able
00:48:07
she moved out two weeks later so
00:48:11
they really ripped the band-aid off.
00:48:14
>> Yeah actually we we haven't mentioned
00:48:16
your sister so yeah a couple of years
00:48:17
younger than you. She gets um she gets a
00:48:20
a bit of spotlight in your book as well
00:48:21
and she explains you know the the
00:48:24
difficulties of you growing up you know
00:48:26
being an able-bodied younger sister to
00:48:29
an older brother with cereble pausy like
00:48:31
you got more of the attention and
00:48:33
rightfully so as well but it's um yeah
00:48:36
it's just a perspective of it that I
00:48:38
suppose you don't most of us don't even
00:48:39
think about but it's really interesting.
00:48:41
Yeah. And I I'm really like amazed at
00:48:45
how she
00:48:48
like all the way through her part of the
00:48:51
book,
00:48:52
>> it's very um obvious that she doesn't
00:48:55
blame me. She knew that I needed this
00:48:59
attention. She still felt annoyed that I
00:49:02
was getting it, but she never hated me
00:49:06
for it.
00:49:07
>> Yeah. Yeah. Well, I I can understand
00:49:08
like the element of jealousy, but then
00:49:10
you think, would you want to swap
00:49:11
places? And the answer the answer would
00:49:13
be no, right?
00:49:13
>> As a 5-year-old, who thinks about that?
00:49:16
Like she she was always my friend like
00:49:20
when we were outside of therapy or if it
00:49:24
was just us, she we still play together
00:49:27
like she
00:49:29
>> she didn't have this hatred from me
00:49:31
>> even though I was getting all this
00:49:33
attention. Um, and I think that's quite
00:49:36
big of her and speaks to the person that
00:49:40
that she is. Um, but yeah, you do want
00:49:44
mom and dad's attention when you you're
00:49:46
growing up and they did their best to to
00:49:50
to do it, but it was tough. Um, but
00:49:54
yeah, I'm really taken back by how she
00:49:58
>> how she still stayed. Um, yeah, my
00:50:01
friend. Not. She wasn't She wasn't
00:50:03
angry. She didn't resent.
00:50:06
She doesn't resent me for it and she
00:50:08
still doesn't.
00:50:09
>> Yeah. When um um flip side of the
00:50:13
question before, when has your mom been
00:50:15
least proud of you and before you
00:50:17
answer, I'll give you a second. I've got
00:50:18
a bit here from the book.
00:50:20
>> I know that.
00:50:22
>> I I did worry about his friends who
00:50:24
derived great pleasure from taking Mark
00:50:26
to some rather inappropriate places. I
00:50:29
think to satisfy their own desires
00:50:30
rather than marks. What? Strip clubs.
00:50:33
>> Absolutely.
00:50:39
>> Yeah. They took great joy in being the
00:50:42
first one to take M shippers.
00:50:45
>> Yeah. And it was so they got more
00:50:48
attention cuz you know like the opposite
00:50:51
to school. He's taking disabled guy into
00:50:53
a ship club. He gets all they get all
00:50:56
the attention. Yeah. Um, look, I was a
00:51:01
normal 18, 19 year old just like
00:51:04
everyone else. And uh yeah, and I think
00:51:07
every every pub would would say would
00:51:11
say the same thing about their 18
00:51:13
19year-old son, you know, it's um which
00:51:17
again you
00:51:19
but that's cool too cuz she went from
00:51:24
holy [ __ ] is my son ever going to walk?
00:51:28
Is this going to be my life, too? Oh,
00:51:30
[ __ ] He's at
00:51:33
>> my son's a pissed.
00:51:38
>> He's gone too far.
00:51:40
>> Oh, I think I can ask you a
00:51:44
>> But no, I think that's no different to
00:51:46
getting. M um yeah there there's other
00:51:51
stuff in the book which I don't know if
00:51:52
your parents knew about or if they read
00:51:54
it for the first time in the book like
00:51:55
your experience with dating apps and uh
00:51:57
losing your virginity.
00:51:59
>> Yep. It's all in there.
00:52:01
>> Yeah. You actually do do you know the
00:52:03
band Lonely Island?
00:52:04
>> Yeah.
00:52:06
>> Yeah. Like you you you cover two Lonely
00:52:08
Island songs. I'm on a boat and I just
00:52:10
had sex with you.
00:52:12
>> I love those. It could be my new theme
00:52:15
songs.
00:52:16
>> Yeah. So, do you want to um I'm assuming
00:52:19
most people listening to this podcast or
00:52:21
watching it haven't read the book
00:52:22
Wobbles yet. So, should do you want to
00:52:24
talk about the virginity stuff?
00:52:26
>> I'm happy to talk about
00:52:27
>> Yeah. So, you're on a family cruise.
00:52:29
>> Yeah. Yeah. What a great way to to
00:52:32
your virginity.
00:52:34
>> So, your mom and dad have a cabin. You
00:52:36
and your sister have a cabin. Yeah.
00:52:37
>> You're how old?
00:52:39
>> 19.
00:52:39
>> 19. Okay. Yeah.
00:52:41
>> Yeah. And um obviously yeah that was not
00:52:44
the best uh not the best ideal setup for
00:52:49
but I never thought it was never gonna
00:52:50
happen so I didn't care but yeah
00:52:54
we at least expect today things things
00:52:57
happen.
00:52:57
>> Why why did you think it was never going
00:52:59
to happen? the experience with school
00:53:04
19. So I was just out of school for
00:53:07
three years.
00:53:09
>> That was still um I had really good
00:53:12
friends. Um but yeah, just a bit on the
00:53:16
dating apps as well. Um I would tell
00:53:19
people I was disabled. Um and then they
00:53:22
would um oh yeah, I'm fine with that.
00:53:26
you know and they make me and or all of
00:53:30
a sudden they were not were not fine
00:53:32
with it. Um
00:53:34
>> I think it probably as you said before
00:53:38
is a big spectrum. Um the best way I
00:53:41
describe it is like I walk and talk a
00:53:44
bit differently. I'm a movement and
00:53:47
that's it. But I drive a car, I work
00:53:50
like you know. Um but I guess it's not
00:53:53
the way you see it.
00:53:55
>> Yeah. And you've got a devious sense of
00:53:56
humor as well.
00:53:57
>> Yeah. Um but no, that's why I thought it
00:54:00
would never happen just because of bad
00:54:02
experiences. And um yeah, but thankfully
00:54:07
um
00:54:09
thank thankfully thankfully there's
00:54:13
curious people out there. I think that
00:54:15
was just what what it was. Um someone
00:54:19
looked at me and thought, "Oh, I haven't
00:54:21
had that before."
00:54:24
She wanted you for the bingo card.
00:54:25
>> That looks interesting.
00:54:29
>> An Australian girl.
00:54:31
>> Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um Yeah. tried to
00:54:35
buy me a drink and I said no, which I
00:54:38
don't know why I said no, but the first
00:54:41
time um and then caught up with her a
00:54:44
bit later and had a few drinks and she
00:54:48
asked me if I'd ever been kissed before
00:54:51
and I lied and said no. I said yes. And
00:54:54
um so she kissed me and then um she
00:54:58
goes, "Oh, have you ever had sex
00:54:59
before?" Like, "Oh, honestly, no." She
00:55:02
go, "Oh, do you want to?" I was like,
00:55:04
"Fuck it."
00:55:14
Yeah.
00:55:18
So, yeah. and all my excitement. I went
00:55:20
to the wrong room and couldn't get in
00:55:23
but eventually found it and yeah it was
00:55:28
I did the day and then
00:55:31
I left New Zealand a boy and came back
00:55:34
and I guess it was
00:55:36
>> Yeah. So So your sister was um still
00:55:39
still out uh dancing or partying on the
00:55:42
boat. So So you the room did you did did
00:55:44
you tell your parents the next day?
00:55:46
>> Oh, hell no.
00:55:46
>> No. Uh, I think they kind of knew, not
00:55:51
mom. Um, but I was with dad and his mate
00:55:55
when the girl approached me the first
00:55:57
time. Um, and I said, "No." And dad go,
00:56:02
"Mate, why you say no? I think they
00:56:04
likes you." Um, and yeah, maybe there
00:56:07
was a big smile on my face the next day
00:56:09
or something. I'm sure dad put two and
00:56:12
two together. Um, but no, mom had no
00:56:15
idea until she seen me in the book.
00:56:17
>> Oh, yeah. What did she say about it?
00:56:19
>> We haven't spoken about it.
00:56:24
>> Oh, you're a nightmare. You're a
00:56:26
handful.
00:56:26
>> I think I I don't know if she's read it.
00:56:29
I think I told her what chapter it was.
00:56:32
I don't see the option to skip it. Um, I
00:56:36
don't know. I reckon
00:56:39
I reckon she would tell me she skipped
00:56:41
it, but I I think she made it.
00:56:46
>> That's a great story.
00:56:47
>> Yeah. And you do talk about the um the
00:56:49
dating apps and there's um I'm guessing
00:56:51
it's a fake name, but there's a there's
00:56:52
a girl called Angela that you talk about
00:56:54
and you you go through the the chatting
00:56:56
process. You you move the conversation
00:56:59
over to WhatsApp or whatever and you go
00:57:01
then you meet a couple of times and then
00:57:02
she sends you like a a message saying
00:57:05
it's you know, it's just too much. I
00:57:06
can't I can't do this. Yeah. How do you
00:57:08
how do you feel with that? Like does
00:57:10
does does it [ __ ] you off? Um do do you
00:57:14
understand that you know it's it's a bit
00:57:15
extra to deal with in a relationship? I
00:57:18
know on the and um
00:57:22
yeah, it really upset me because I was
00:57:26
you see other people out there and you
00:57:29
see some absolute drop kicks and they've
00:57:31
got amazing partners and you're like
00:57:33
[ __ ] me. I would treat someone so much
00:57:36
better if I if I had the opportunity.
00:57:39
Um, so that would be what really annoyed
00:57:43
me was like I have so much love to give.
00:57:47
Um, you know, but
00:57:50
I Yeah, it it was it was hard and I've
00:57:55
had it said to my even to my face was
00:57:57
like, "Oh, yours is yours is too much."
00:58:01
And I was like, "Oh, okay. It's um I
00:58:04
can't help I can't help that. Um
00:58:08
I don't I you can't really blame people
00:58:12
until they see you, I guess. Um and
00:58:16
look, I did
00:58:18
I did have a girlfriend off dinner for a
00:58:22
little bit, but it just it wasn't really
00:58:26
wasn't really like what we both wanted.
00:58:30
But no, it was it did [ __ ] me up.
00:58:33
Especially here, as I said, so many
00:58:36
people were
00:58:38
dick [ __ ] It's like, here's me.
00:58:42
Let's go. Okay, I can't be myself or I
00:58:46
look a bit funny, but um I can still,
00:58:50
you know, talk to you, listen, care, all
00:58:54
that. And um I also thought maybe some
00:58:58
of it was um when you're younger you
00:59:02
maybe girls are looking for potential
00:59:05
fathers or people that can protect them
00:59:08
and their family. And I'm probably I
00:59:11
have the figure of a a toothpick.
00:59:15
So that's not very, you know, I don't I
00:59:19
don't scream like good things, you know.
00:59:22
Um I don't know if I if I broke into
00:59:24
your house and I saw you coming at me in
00:59:26
the day.
00:59:28
>> It was probably quite intimidating.
00:59:30
>> And my unies.
00:59:33
>> Yeah. Yeah. Um but no, it was very diff
00:59:37
It was really difficult. Yeah.
00:59:40
>> But you you're um you met the right one.
00:59:42
I found this photo online. This is um
00:59:44
this is Elise.
00:59:45
>> Yes. Elise.
00:59:46
>> Yeah. So, she's sitting out here
00:59:48
watching this at the moment.
00:59:49
>> Um how does how does she feel when she
00:59:51
like hears you like telling stories
00:59:53
about the virginity?
00:59:54
>> She'll she'll probably go about it, but
00:59:58
that's
01:00:00
I'm very used to being in the dog box
01:00:02
and that's that's why I have a my at my
01:00:06
house. But um yeah, that was Tell me
01:00:08
about her. How did you guys meet?
01:00:11
I did a lot of charity work
01:00:15
>> and um yeah, it was an event
01:00:19
and if I say I I go to these events a
01:00:24
lot. It's just a bunch of mates. They're
01:00:27
all about 20 to 30 years older than me.
01:00:30
So um you know but at this at this event
01:00:34
I happened to be there and she was the
01:00:37
closest closest one to my age and um
01:00:42
yeah she started talking to me when I
01:00:44
walked in. Um and I sort of went oh
01:00:48
she's talking to me like I should know
01:00:50
who she is. Said all right I'll keep
01:00:54
going with this and see where it goes.
01:00:57
Um, and the night went on and we saw as
01:01:01
he was leaving I said, "Oh, do you would
01:01:03
you like to go out for dinner sometime
01:01:06
with me?" He goes, "Yeah, sure." And I
01:01:09
went, "Um, oh, can I get your love on
01:01:13
Facebook?
01:01:15
We already been on Facebook."
01:01:17
Oh, [ __ ]
01:01:19
Oh, [ __ ]
01:01:24
So we met up after that and um actually
01:01:29
she said I was allowed to say this. So
01:01:32
it was the same night and I she left and
01:01:35
I think she text me
01:01:38
after and she's like where are you
01:01:40
staying? I'm like I'm staying here.
01:01:43
I said oh
01:01:45
I'm like I'll just invite you back to my
01:01:48
house and see what happens. So I said,
01:01:50
"How about we go back to mine and have a
01:01:53
few drinks? I'll get and pick you up."
01:01:56
She goes, "Yeah, yeah, great." So I was
01:01:58
obviously so excited. I left my keys
01:02:03
back at the party. So we got to my
01:02:06
apartment building and I couldn't I
01:02:08
couldn't get into my apartment.
01:02:12
So, our first encounter together, we I
01:02:17
had to ask her to pretend to be my carer
01:02:21
and then the the security town and be
01:02:23
like, "Oh, he does live here. He's keys
01:02:29
to us in type thing." Um
01:02:32
probably
01:02:34
just
01:02:36
5 years later we Yeah, we have a have a
01:02:40
house and she's um
01:02:44
she's very supportive. Um I
01:02:49
I think the difference with Elise and
01:02:53
any other encounter or tender thing I've
01:02:57
had is that um
01:03:01
she knew me and she seen me be you know
01:03:05
be fed and stuff like
01:03:08
>> and not that she thought we were ever
01:03:09
going to get together but that was
01:03:12
always there. So the the whole body
01:03:14
conversation
01:03:16
didn't didn't have to didn't have to
01:03:19
happen.
01:03:19
>> Yeah. She knew what she was signing up
01:03:21
for.
01:03:21
>> Yeah.
01:03:22
>> So what what what what does she have to
01:03:23
So she's up your shirt.
01:03:25
>> Does she like brush your teeth?
01:03:27
>> No.
01:03:29
Believe it or not, I can brush my teeth
01:03:31
without impaling myself.
01:03:35
>> Sorry. Sorry.
01:03:37
>> Tooth. But yeah, it's weird what I can
01:03:39
and can't do. So I love to be asked. So,
01:03:42
don't be sorry. Um, I'll probably get in
01:03:45
trouble cuz I would have forgotten half
01:03:48
the stuff that she does for me. But,
01:03:50
yeah, mainly feed feed me, you know,
01:03:53
gets me ready in the morning. Um, but
01:03:57
even all the little all the little
01:04:00
things that we take, I can't cut my
01:04:03
nails.
01:04:04
you know, if I have a if I have
01:04:07
something
01:04:09
I need some help with on the computer or
01:04:11
whatever, sees my sees my hands,
01:04:16
>> I guess. Um,
01:04:18
yeah, I try my best and do some jobs
01:04:21
around the house. But yeah, she's my
01:04:24
primary. I hate the word caregiver
01:04:27
because when I met her and things got
01:04:31
we're getting along, I made it very
01:04:34
clear that I didn't want a caregiver. I
01:04:37
had I had one. I wanted a partner.
01:04:43
But her love language is acts of
01:04:45
service. And so she wants to do all
01:04:49
these things. Um, and then she also felt
01:04:53
like when it got further down the track
01:04:56
and we decided to move in, she doesn't,
01:04:59
you know, she wants to take care of me.
01:05:01
Like she kind of
01:05:03
>> she's just nurturing.
01:05:05
>> Yeah. And she prides herself that she
01:05:08
can do it better than anyone else. And
01:05:10
I'm I'm more comfortable when she's
01:05:15
when she's there. Then I don't
01:05:18
I just want to be fed. But I'm a lot
01:05:21
more comfortable if she
01:05:25
knows how I like it. Like it's not um
01:05:28
you know some people would think I'm
01:05:32
fussy if I want
01:05:34
before my steak. They oh just be
01:05:36
thankful someone put food in your mouth.
01:05:39
>> But at least think about like how do I
01:05:43
eat? Oh, actually I actually give Mark
01:05:47
the option so he'll ask me, "Oh,
01:05:50
actually what do you want with the It's
01:05:53
just
01:05:54
Yeah, it was a hard
01:05:57
I didn't want to blur bl
01:06:02
>> but she kind of think you know any
01:06:05
relationship
01:06:07
one person will do divorcing and she I
01:06:12
could deliver for me
01:06:13
kids. Anyway, we all sit down. What is
01:06:16
it just
01:06:18
to feed you? So, we actually look at it.
01:06:21
It's just a little bit tagged on to what
01:06:25
you already do in your life.
01:06:27
>> Um,
01:06:29
but again, she always has to think about
01:06:33
me in that in that way, like where how
01:06:37
am I going to eat, where am I going to
01:06:38
eat? She gets very um worried when I go
01:06:43
out somewhere and it's like, "Oh, who's
01:06:45
gonna feed you?" You know, she wants to
01:06:48
make sure that I enjoy myself
01:06:52
and not worry about about that. But
01:06:55
>> yeah,
01:06:56
>> sometimes I don't have a choice. I just
01:06:59
have to roll with it. Yeah,
01:07:01
>> I'm still here so I haven't got hungry
01:07:03
but but no
01:07:06
I'm very fortunate that she is that kind
01:07:09
of nurture and giver and um
01:07:13
>> yeah she if you ask her about me she'll
01:07:17
say I'm the most annoying person to to
01:07:21
live with. I think every man loves to to
01:07:24
wind their partner up and see how far
01:07:27
they can
01:07:30
no different to any other relationship.
01:07:33
She still expects me to do the things
01:07:37
that I can I can do.
01:07:40
>> Well, that's that's like that's the
01:07:41
impression I got from your book. That's
01:07:42
how you've been raised by your parents.
01:07:44
Like there's minimal amount of special
01:07:46
treatment uh possible.
01:07:48
>> Yeah.
01:07:48
>> Yeah. And and um she's got two kids from
01:07:51
a previous relationship.
01:07:52
>> That's right.
01:07:53
>> Um yeah. How have they been?
01:07:55
>> They're great. So I was a little bit
01:07:57
worried how that dynamic would work
01:08:00
moving in all together.
01:08:02
>> Of course. Yeah.
01:08:03
>> We Someone said, "Oh, don't you guys
01:08:06
live together yet?" I'm like, "No, but
01:08:09
you just bought this house." Like,
01:08:11
"Yeah, we'll figure it out." Um but
01:08:13
yeah, that was the the biggest um kind
01:08:17
of o for me. But um to be honest,
01:08:21
they've um yeah, it's brought us more a
01:08:25
lot closer. Like it's Yeah, we are a
01:08:28
family now in the house. They we me and
01:08:32
the kids, we respect each each other. Um
01:08:36
they do love it when I'm a big Broncos
01:08:39
fan, so they love they love um watching
01:08:43
the sport with me. I do get quite
01:08:45
animated and say some bad words and they
01:08:48
they think that's quite funny.
01:08:51
Um
01:08:53
but yeah, they also really good at, you
01:08:56
know, bringing me bring me back to level
01:08:59
and they'll tell me now who would read a
01:09:02
book about you? You're so boring. So
01:09:06
it's it's good. It's it helps the
01:09:09
relationship.
01:09:10
>> Yeah. Yeah. Well, it seems like you you
01:09:12
corrupt them. She was she was telling me
01:09:14
um before we came into the podcast chat
01:09:16
today that um after the NRL grand final
01:09:19
like you were doing like a like a naked
01:09:20
dash around the house or something.
01:09:22
>> Yeah, I did get a bit excited and uh my
01:09:25
aunties did say but that was that was
01:09:29
yeah that was um quite the game. I think
01:09:32
I had three heart attacks during that
01:09:34
grand final. So yeah, it was just you
01:09:38
know do whatever I could to get to get
01:09:40
through that.
01:09:42
Yeah, know some bad habits which my mom
01:09:44
is also uh quite
01:09:47
well what impression I'm leaving on the
01:09:51
kids.
01:09:51
>> Yeah.
01:09:52
>> Well, you know, once a bogan, always a
01:09:54
bogan, I guess. Like that behavior
01:09:57
sticks with Oh, there was um one thing
01:09:59
um you were actually in the news for
01:10:01
this a few years ago, long before the
01:10:02
book. Um there was an incident with
01:10:04
Countdown.
01:10:06
>> Now, now Wworth. So, you you went to
01:10:08
Countdown and they wouldn't they
01:10:09
wouldn't serve you alcohol. That's
01:10:11
right. I went to countdown. It was, you
01:10:13
know, just after work with everyone else
01:10:15
and um yeah, they wouldn't that I go to
01:10:18
I went to the same countdown for years
01:10:21
and I bought the same the same
01:10:25
stuff and it included a box of beer
01:10:27
every time. And this time they just
01:10:31
wouldn't they yeah wouldn't allow me to
01:10:34
buy the beer because they accused me of
01:10:38
being drunk.
01:10:39
I'm sure that's a [ __ ] up cafe.
01:10:41
>> I am. I kind of said to them, "Well, I'm
01:10:44
not drunk
01:10:46
>> yet." Yeah. Yeah. Um and yeah, I don't
01:10:50
really have any I buy this every week.
01:10:53
Like what what's different now about
01:10:57
this week?
01:10:58
And they I don't I don't really recall
01:11:01
word for word, but um one of them said
01:11:04
something like, "Oh, you can't even
01:11:06
stand up straight. you know, how could
01:11:08
we possibly serve you? I'm like, because
01:11:11
I have se cable py and that just went
01:11:15
straight over the head like no you
01:11:17
don't. You're drunk. I'm like,
01:11:20
I wish I didn't have [ __ ] z I wish I
01:11:23
was drunk.
01:11:26
Jesus. But but no, so that was that in
01:11:30
that moment it took me
01:11:34
back to cuz then everyone was staring at
01:11:37
me, right? Like I was made a bit of a a
01:11:41
bit of a fuss. So,
01:11:42
>> and I don't I try not to
01:11:46
>> have, you know, make myself pointed out
01:11:49
or whatever. And then everything kind of
01:11:51
gets my movements get worse and I get
01:11:55
stressed. Um,
01:11:58
but yeah, that moment was like going
01:12:00
back to the bullying, I guess, in the
01:12:03
like I've been pointed out for being
01:12:06
being different
01:12:08
>> and in a in a world where was supposed
01:12:10
to be more accepting of people uh
01:12:14
differences.
01:12:16
>> Yeah, it was certainly
01:12:19
Yeah. Bought up some stuff. Yeah.
01:12:24
>> Yeah. Are there are there things we can
01:12:25
be doing better in New Zealand to
01:12:27
support disabled people?
01:12:29
>> I I do think so. I think
01:12:34
look, you can hate me for this or not,
01:12:36
but I do think the disabled
01:12:39
um community are kind of forgotten about
01:12:42
a little bit. We focus a lot on um you
01:12:46
know different differences in other in
01:12:49
other aspects like cultures and
01:12:51
sexuality and being more inclusive of of
01:12:56
them.
01:12:56
>> Yeah.
01:12:57
>> And look that is great and it's amazing.
01:13:00
Um but yeah the
01:13:04
about disabled people that would like to
01:13:09
have a job but don't and that there's
01:13:12
the real um opportunity there to really
01:13:16
like help you're giving that's what
01:13:20
helped me. I got a purpose. I got to get
01:13:23
up in the morning and go and do do
01:13:26
something whether it was go to
01:13:29
university and study and then now it's
01:13:32
go to work and contribute. So um I do
01:13:36
think we could be doing
01:13:39
doing better for disabled people in the
01:13:42
workplace.
01:13:44
>> Um
01:13:45
and again I'm not one to to advocate.
01:13:48
I'm just here to share my story. But um
01:13:52
that where I think there's a there's a a
01:13:55
bit of a lag or some miseducation out
01:13:58
there.
01:13:59
>> Yeah. That work piece that you're
01:14:00
talking about. So you you applied you
01:14:02
sent your CV out to 50 different places
01:14:05
>> about that.
01:14:06
>> Yeah. You you ended up getting a job at
01:14:08
um Gem Finance as a financial analysis.
01:14:11
But um that was um it was a
01:14:13
heartbreaking. That's when you went off
01:14:14
the rails.
01:14:15
>> Yeah. That that bit between university
01:14:19
and getting a job um
01:14:23
was yeah probably my toughest the
01:14:26
toughest point in my life. Um and it was
01:14:30
because I think yeah I didn't have a
01:14:33
purpose. Um I couldn't really see why
01:14:38
an employer would employ me. Like I knew
01:14:41
I was clever, but you you got you know
01:14:45
every business is trying to save every
01:14:49
bit of cost cuz it's hard economy is
01:14:52
hard you know it's like why would they
01:14:54
spend extra money on on accommodating
01:14:58
me? Um, I know I know there's um you can
01:15:02
go for funding and stuff, but then if
01:15:05
you've got my CV
01:15:08
and you got an ablebodied version of me,
01:15:11
same qualifications, all that. Well, I'm
01:15:14
just more work than that. And we're all
01:15:17
busy, right? I I'm not saying it's bad
01:15:20
that I'm not having to go at these, but
01:15:22
I'm just saying I get it. Um, you know,
01:15:25
you're busy. you want probably
01:15:27
>> the least effort I guess. Um
01:15:31
but yeah, I felt very
01:15:35
yeah
01:15:37
like I going to be living living at home
01:15:40
all my life with my parents and that not
01:15:43
what we we set out to do with all the
01:15:46
therapy and I was walking now and you
01:15:49
know got amazing grades at university
01:15:53
and um
01:15:55
yeah so I I um I I I enjoy I enjoy a
01:16:02
beer
01:16:03
>> with a straw. With a straw.
01:16:05
>> Yes. And um I busted that myth though.
01:16:08
You don't get pissed f I'd be I'd be a
01:16:12
lot richer if that was the if if that
01:16:14
was if that were true. But um yeah, I I
01:16:19
partied
01:16:20
I going out and just the way that cuz I
01:16:25
was I was accepted in that clubing cuz
01:16:28
everyone pissed. So I just I I blended
01:16:33
by
01:16:35
and everything gets a bit easier for my
01:16:37
movements and stuff after a few years.
01:16:40
So that was sort of my how I wouldn't
01:16:45
call it coping but it was what I did and
01:16:48
I didn't really see a see a way forward
01:16:51
and there was some I did have some
01:16:54
thoughts about you know
01:16:57
what if it easy is it easier just if I'm
01:17:02
just talking way to m um you know
01:17:06
especially when I didn't want to get out
01:17:08
of bed they were So there was no
01:17:11
purpose. I never see a purpose. Um and
01:17:15
uh I do remember driving along
01:17:21
I saw a truck and I was like that would
01:17:24
be easy
01:17:26
>> and I thought oh [ __ ] then he I'd ruined
01:17:30
his life but that's that's not that's
01:17:32
not fair on the truck driver. Um
01:17:37
yeah, it was a low point. Um
01:17:41
that was probably the closest
01:17:44
for me having those thoughts. Um
01:17:48
but yeah, I
01:17:52
obviously glad that I was something in
01:17:55
me just um able to to kind of not block
01:18:02
that out, but just I still knew that
01:18:05
wasn't the way. Maybe there was
01:18:08
something in the back of my head that
01:18:09
there was a little bit of hope or I was
01:18:12
but I certainly didn't I didn't
01:18:15
>> I didn't feel it.
01:18:16
>> Yeah. I think that's the thing for
01:18:17
anyone that's in that state. You just
01:18:19
got to hang on to hope.
01:18:20
>> Hang on to the next moment. Um yeah,
01:18:23
your your mom in the book she talks
01:18:24
about suic suicidal ideiation as well at
01:18:28
a time and she she asked yeah um have
01:18:31
you had a discussion about this? Like
01:18:32
that must have been hard for you to read
01:18:34
about her. Um, but it must have been
01:18:35
hard for her to read about you as well.
01:18:38
>> And it was actually we had the same
01:18:40
story. She she thought about doing it in
01:18:43
the same way that I that I did and we
01:18:46
had never talked about that ever. I was
01:18:48
like, "Oh, wow."
01:18:50
>> Yeah. So, that was
01:18:52
>> that was interesting. And um
01:18:55
>> obviously, yeah, glad that we're both
01:18:58
still still here. Um, but no, we I'm
01:19:02
sure we will have a conversation about
01:19:04
it, but it's uh we as a family, I think
01:19:08
we
01:19:10
cuz we had to just be, you know,
01:19:13
celebrating every little win
01:19:15
>> going up. So once we once I was walking
01:19:18
into life just moved on like we were
01:19:21
just flying and um
01:19:24
>> but yeah, I'm we haven't really had that
01:19:27
deep conversation. Yeah.
01:19:29
>> Seems like there's there's a lot of [ __ ]
01:19:31
that you guys have got to discuss.
01:19:34
>> Really? We fill it out in the book now.
01:19:36
It's all out there.
01:19:38
>> Yeah.
01:19:39
>> Um if you could go back and talk to your
01:19:41
younger self, what what would you say? M
01:19:43
maybe um Yeah. Maybe maybe Mark aged say
01:19:47
13 to 17 in the middle middle of
01:19:49
secondary school. Oh, that's a tough one
01:19:51
cuz I would think I was such a [ __ ]
01:19:55
if I was the younger me would be like,
01:19:58
"Oh, this look, he's got it all worked
01:20:01
out." So, and
01:20:05
that's what my younger self would think
01:20:08
of me um trying to give advice. Um
01:20:14
but my my advice to me or anyone is
01:20:20
you're there are people
01:20:23
that love that love you. I knew there
01:20:25
were people that loved me. I think
01:20:27
that's also why I didn't train in my
01:20:31
life because I also loved I love them. I
01:20:34
love the people. I didn't want
01:20:39
that to stop.
01:20:42
um
01:20:44
and I think
01:20:46
yeah I would I hope that
01:20:49
um other people
01:20:52
just love
01:20:54
can find a way to know that they're
01:20:58
loved like people want them in this life
01:21:02
um everyone's got we're all here
01:21:08
we can all contribute we can all help.
01:21:11
Um,
01:21:12
yeah. And I just I was I would tell
01:21:16
myself that just to f you are loved,
01:21:19
people love you.
01:21:21
>> Um,
01:21:23
and yeah, just they want you around and
01:21:26
you got so many awesome
01:21:30
experiences to have with
01:21:32
>> with with these people. Um, yeah, I
01:21:36
would I do my best not to say the words.
01:21:40
It will get better and just keep going
01:21:42
cuz I would hate to hear that.
01:21:44
>> Yeah.
01:21:46
>> But yeah, just
01:21:47
>> it's true though, isn't it?
01:21:49
>> But it's a it's Yeah, you don't want to
01:21:51
when you when you're going through hell,
01:21:53
it seems like it's an impossible thing
01:21:55
to imagine.
01:21:56
>> Absolutely. Yeah. The last thing you
01:21:58
want to hear is that statement. Were you
01:22:01
just getting a bit emotional then with
01:22:02
that answer?
01:22:04
>> Oh, a little bit. And I think um I don't
01:22:08
um
01:22:13
Yeah, I don't want people to
01:22:22
to feel like that.
01:22:24
>> Yeah.
01:22:26
>> Yeah. And
01:22:35
the book. That's why
01:22:39
that's why the book is is there because
01:22:47
it was um really hard to write the book
01:22:50
and my mom
01:22:54
wanted it to stop cuz it bringing up all
01:22:58
that trauma again. And um but we keep
01:23:03
telling ourselves like we don't want
01:23:06
people to to take their own lives to to
01:23:10
do that. We if that can help one person
01:23:15
change that mindset or just
01:23:20
think just go oh okay it's not that bad
01:23:23
or
01:23:24
>> then it was worth us telling that story
01:23:28
and it's why I I do a little bit of
01:23:32
public speaking you know
01:23:36
that's my reason behind it is
01:23:40
no to take their own life.
01:23:43
>> It doesn't it doesn't need need to
01:23:46
happen.
01:23:47
>> And um
01:23:49
yeah, if if I can do something to to
01:23:52
help with that, I'm going to I'm going
01:23:55
to [ __ ] do it.
01:23:57
>> I think that that last couple of minutes
01:23:59
might be the most um important part of
01:24:00
this podcast. Yeah.
01:24:04
Yeah. It's a really good message.
01:24:06
I I I can tell when you get upset, you
01:24:09
you like you get really really animated.
01:24:11
Is it Is it um Is it painful,
01:24:14
uncomfortable, exhausting?
01:24:16
>> It's exhausting.
01:24:17
>> Yeah.
01:24:18
>> But not like right now like tonight I'll
01:24:23
be Oh, why why am I so tired? It's like,
01:24:26
oh, that's right. Um
01:24:29
>> it's not painful. So, don't worry if
01:24:31
you're watching this. I'm not in
01:24:34
It's not painful. Um, I I
01:24:39
it's really hard cuz I'm I'm literally
01:24:41
an open book. I I can't really hide my
01:24:45
emotions because of the way my my body
01:24:47
moves. When I do get excited or sad or
01:24:52
something I
01:24:54
Yeah, it does. It show it shows which is
01:25:00
um yeah, quite awkward in general
01:25:02
because I I laugh. Sorry, I laugh and
01:25:07
talk loud and I also cry.
01:25:10
So, yes, but um it it does make um
01:25:15
getting my words out harder,
01:25:18
you know, with emotional
01:25:20
topics. Yeah. But I
01:25:23
>> it's important it's important to share
01:25:26
them though. It is. It is. And I I can I
01:25:29
can say your your speech is fine. like,
01:25:31
you know, I've had to listen carefully
01:25:32
during this podcast, but no, you know, I
01:25:35
can understand everything you say. I
01:25:36
haven't had had to ask you to repeat
01:25:38
anything.
01:25:39
>> That's I'm glad and my speech has gotten
01:25:42
better as I've gotten older just with
01:25:45
Right. Uh I I had a lot of like um I had
01:25:49
bra which every kid most kids have that
01:25:52
actually really helped with with um my
01:25:55
speech and then
01:25:57
>> I found
01:25:59
swimming
01:26:01
just the way that you're breathing in
01:26:02
and out was yeah also really helped with
01:26:05
with my speech. I actually watched a
01:26:08
video of me of myself when I was I would
01:26:13
have been
01:26:15
12 years old. I couldn't understand
01:26:18
myself.
01:26:19
>> I could not I didn't know what I was
01:26:21
saying. I had to get my sister to to
01:26:24
translate to to translate what I was
01:26:27
saying cuz um to me I sound like
01:26:32
to me my voice is normal cuz I know the
01:26:36
words I want to say but obviously it
01:26:38
comes out much different to how it
01:26:41
sounds in my head.
01:26:42
>> Oh that reminds me of another story in
01:26:44
the book. Um you exploiting your sister
01:26:46
like so you were 6 years old she's four.
01:26:49
Um, you you you had the brain power, but
01:26:52
she had the motor skills, so you'd use
01:26:54
her to get the the lolly jar off the top
01:26:57
>> like a like a co-conspirator in your
01:26:59
master master crime. God, you're a
01:27:01
deviant. You're a rhymia.
01:27:04
>> Yeah. No, I taught myself a few days.
01:27:07
Yeah.
01:27:08
>> What's what's your um inner voice in a
01:27:11
critic like? Like when you when you're
01:27:12
talking to yourself, what are you like?
01:27:14
Are you are you are you kind to yourself
01:27:15
or are you hard on yourself?
01:27:19
I'm probably pretty hard on myself.
01:27:22
I I wouldn't I don't think of myself as
01:27:27
a perfectionist, but other people would
01:27:31
probably use that word to describe me. I
01:27:34
think that's because I've
01:27:37
I fought so not but a lot has gone to
01:27:41
get me to be who I am.
01:27:44
And I want to make sure that I'm there
01:27:48
because of my own merits, not for any
01:27:52
other reason.
01:27:54
So I work for I make a point to always
01:27:58
do a job right, get it done properly.
01:28:01
And if I don't if I do something,
01:28:04
everyone makes mistakes, but
01:28:07
>> I I do beat myself up and like tell
01:28:12
every boss I've had just been like, you
01:28:16
got to stop, but go easy. It was It was
01:28:18
a simple mistake. No one died. It was
01:28:21
fine. But to me, I'm I'm I'm prone to
01:28:25
just If it's not done right, it's not
01:28:28
done, you know. Why why bother? Um
01:28:33
>> that part of me.
01:28:36
Yeah, I'm always trying to make sure I
01:28:38
do do a good job or but I do
01:28:46
when I have effect
01:28:49
not very often but I I'm I'm proud of
01:28:53
like I do get proud of myself probably
01:28:57
for different reasons that that that
01:29:00
that people might think like I'm proud
01:29:04
of my job but I'm more proud
01:29:06
of um
01:29:09
you know having the the lifestyle that I
01:29:12
do at home
01:29:13
>> and just
01:29:16
being able to have my mom and dad come
01:29:20
and stay in my house.
01:29:23
um you know I'm more proud of that than
01:29:26
I I am of just about anything else cuz
01:29:32
it's my way of kind of not not thanking
01:29:37
them but just you know look what all
01:29:40
your hard work did
01:29:42
>> and now we get to be a family just like
01:29:47
anyone else. Um,
01:29:50
>> yeah.
01:29:53
>> Yeah. It must be the most gratifying
01:29:55
thing. It's like their investment of
01:29:56
time and energy has paid off.
01:29:59
>> It's really cool.
01:30:00
>> Yeah. Absolutely.
01:30:01
>> I can't imag Yeah. I can't imagine how
01:30:03
it is for them. It must be the
01:30:05
>> Yeah, it must be the weirdest feeling
01:30:06
like like letting your kid off into the
01:30:08
into the wild
01:30:10
>> like um Yeah. I can't imagine how how
01:30:13
many sleepless nights your mom had, but
01:30:15
also how proud she would be.
01:30:16
>> Yeah. They love they love
01:30:20
they love the house. They love they love
01:30:24
being in the house. You know, we can't
01:30:26
keep dad still. He's always something to
01:30:30
fix cuz I'm not that handy.
01:30:33
So,
01:30:34
>> but I love that. Yeah.
01:30:36
>> And what about what about future goals?
01:30:38
How old are you now? You 28 28?
01:30:40
>> I'm 30.
01:30:41
>> 30? Oh, yes.
01:30:42
>> Yeah. Where where do you see yourself
01:30:43
at? Like 35 40? Do you you want to at
01:30:46
least want to have your own family or
01:30:48
you happy with
01:30:49
>> I think no very settled very settled and
01:30:52
my stance was I didn't kids were never
01:30:57
really a
01:30:58
thing for me just because of what went
01:31:01
on. I know it's unlikely to ever happen
01:31:04
but I that was just that was too much.
01:31:08
>> Yeah. Um
01:31:10
but no I would I have a lot of career
01:31:14
goals like I you know I I like to be
01:31:18
with Simon De and Z. Um I I very much
01:31:23
enjoy enjoy working
01:31:27
there
01:31:29
personal. Yeah, we'd like to, you know,
01:31:32
just, you know, join, we've joined,
01:31:35
we've joined the rat race, we paid down
01:31:37
our mortgage and um I guess life kind of
01:31:41
just looked
01:31:43
getting back to just like by just having
01:31:47
experiences and um yeah, with with with
01:31:50
um just as a family. I am doing more
01:31:56
public speaking and I did I'd like to um
01:32:00
yeah if my message can help then I'm
01:32:05
all for sharing it. Um so that would be
01:32:08
that would be um where I kind of see my
01:32:13
project I guess. Yeah.
01:32:15
>> Yeah. Well, I'm sure the future's going
01:32:16
to be very bright. Um tonight I don't
01:32:19
know. Do you think you'll be allowed in
01:32:20
the house tonight or are you on the
01:32:22
deck? Luckily, my mate I got a mate back
01:32:25
at work and he'll be he'll be waiting
01:32:27
for me at the pub. So,
01:32:32
>> you're a handful. You're a handful. But,
01:32:34
hey, this has been a great podcast
01:32:36
today. It's been really cool.
01:32:37
>> Well, thank you so much for having me.
01:32:39
I've um going to make you feel old, but
01:32:41
I I grew up listening to you on the
01:32:44
radio,
01:32:45
so to come to come and talk to you um
01:32:50
calling you. I touch on it before. I
01:32:53
enjoy to talk to genuine people and know
01:32:57
you're definitely one of the one of the
01:32:59
good guys out there. So, um, yeah, keep
01:33:02
keep doing what you're doing, mate. It's
01:33:04
uh it's it's also helping people.
01:33:07
>> Yeah. Oh, Mark Wilson, you're a great
01:33:09
New Zealander. I I deliberately didn't
01:33:11
um bring up your dog, Sandy. Um, thank
01:33:13
you. I'm a dog. I'm a dog. My dog
01:33:16
Kanye's been on the floor. He's sleeping
01:33:18
next to me. He's been here for the last
01:33:20
hour and a half that we've been
01:33:21
chatting. Um, yeah, but that's something
01:33:23
in the in the book, this dog Sandy that
01:33:25
you have and the the role that she
01:33:27
played on getting you through those
01:33:28
teenage years.
01:33:29
>> Yeah. You just want to make me cry,
01:33:31
don't you?
01:33:32
>> No, I was like, this is going to be it's
01:33:33
going to make me cry. It's going to make
01:33:35
you cry.
01:33:36
>> Maybe leave that for
01:33:38
>> just the the impact of dogs. Um, but the
01:33:40
way that you wrote about her so
01:33:42
lovingly. Um, yeah, I think I'll leave
01:33:43
that as a spoiler. So if anyone wants to
01:33:45
know about um the relationship you had
01:33:47
with your dog Sandy um they can get your
01:33:49
book Wobbles.
01:33:51
>> Yeah. And that's the perfect way to
01:33:55
>> Hey Mark Wilson, thank you so much mate.
01:33:57
It's been an honor to sit down and chat
01:33:59
with you today and um I got a lot out of
01:34:01
it and I'm sure a lot of other people
01:34:02
will as well.
01:34:03
>> Oh, thank you so much for having me on.
01:34:05
It's been great.