00:00:06
David Ne, welcome back to my podcast and
00:00:09
thank you for having me back and
00:00:11
congratulations mate on the the pod lab.
00:00:14
You know, the last time it was at your
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place in your little room and here we
00:00:19
are now in the pod lab. So,
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congratulations. You obviously set that
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goal and achieved it.
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this. Yeah, this is something I feel
00:00:29
slightly awkward about. Like it's um
00:00:30
it's not really because one one of your
00:00:32
big things is about goal setting and I'm
00:00:34
I was saying before and I feel a little
00:00:35
bit embarrassed about this. I'm not
00:00:37
really like a a goal setter per se or
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like a 5y year 10 year plan. Um but I do
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>> start something and I I work on it every
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day and it's amazing even without a
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clearly defined goal if you do that
00:00:48
where you will end up.
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>> Right. When we we talked about this
00:00:52
where intentions and our attentions
00:00:55
align, right? So what do you intend? You
00:00:57
intended in creating a pod lab, right?
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And your attention aligned with that
00:01:02
intention which fundamentally stimulates
00:01:06
you to behave in a way that is congruent
00:01:10
with what you intend.
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>> Well, I'm I am I'm thinking all the time
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about the podcast. Like when I'm out
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running, I'm thinking about the podcast
00:01:18
and how I can grow the podcast.
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>> You're obsessive, mate. And that's what
00:01:20
most, you know, exceptional people are.
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You know, I I obsess about uh learning.
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I I'm I'm obsessive uh with a lot of my
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behavior when I'm in the gym. I'm very
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obsessive. Um and I think there's a
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there's a certain trait that you have
00:01:37
with high performers is that they're
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very obsessive.
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>> I had Sir Peter Beck on the podcast, the
00:01:43
founder of Rocket Lab.
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>> Y
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>> um and he had a quote which stuck with
00:01:47
me. He said, "Nothing great is ever
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achieved on a 8 to 5 Monday to Friday
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schedule."
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>> No way, man. Absolutely. Which I love
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>> it. It I don't know who said it, but
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there was a there was a quote, it's a
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good thing to wonder
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>> and and I think where a lot of leaders
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go is that they they ponder uh they
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ponder the the technology, they ponder
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projects, they ponder ideas. Um and that
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that's not something that you can almost
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physically train for. It's it's just a
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like a you can maybe create an
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environment that supports the
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probability of really igniting that. A
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lot of thinkers for instance um would go
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in somewhere quite isolated so that we
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weren't distracted to be able to think
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and ponder.
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>> Yeah.
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>> The reason, by the way, I had you on the
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podcast um two years ago when this book
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came out, The Winning Mindset.
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>> Um I wanted to get you back cuz I
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thought it's perfect timing at the
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beginning of 2026. Um it's definitely
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not the sort of podcast that'll be for
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everyone, but it'll be for a specific
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type of person. Y
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>> uh and I thought anyone that
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>> really wants to make significant change
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and improve their own life and and
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subsequently the life of the people in
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their sort of um solar system um would
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benefit from this. So that's why that's
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cool, mate. Well,
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>> like a kick up the ass for people in a
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way.
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>> Yeah. Okay. So maybe what we what we
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could do is making a start and going,
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okay, so how do we go about this? Now, I
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truly believe in life by design, not
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life by default.
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>> And I think a lot of people live life by
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default. Um, and
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you know, we were talking uh off Mike
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before about, you know, we're we're
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thrown into this world. We don't get to
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choose our circumstances. We live and
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then we die. And
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I think, you know, there's an importance
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to really find meaning and make
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something out of your life, not exist
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through life. And a lot of people tend
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to exist through life. [ __ ] that. Right?
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So, you know, I talk about life by
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design. So, I'm going to use me as an
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analogy because again, there's a whole
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lot of areas that we can go into,
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>> but fundamentally um start with the end
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in mind. So, a lot of people are going,
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"Look, another year of this, I'm
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freaking over it." Um so I think where
00:04:13
you got to start with is this
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the quality of your life and the quality
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of your performance for instance is
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directly related to the quality of the
00:04:24
questions you ask of yourself and
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qualified others.
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>> So I think you got to sit down and go
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and ask yourself uh a more poignant
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question. You know what what what is it
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that I truly want? And how I sort of
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premise it with people is go look if you
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could not fail what would you like to do
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with your life you know and that's a
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great way to start and then we
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deconstruct it backwards from there you
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know what I mean and and for me you know
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because there are limitations um you
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know you have limiting beliefs
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financially it's tough to get entry into
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what you want to do whatever
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but you've got to [ __ ] get clear on
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what you intend right So for me uh as a
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printer I think um when I managed to get
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off the printing press well I I had a
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vision which was I wanted to be doing
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this
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>> I wanted to work with people um
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especially athletes I was really excited
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about that.
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>> Yeah. Hey I'll I'll pause you just
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there. So um yeah
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>> this episode's all about like giving
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other people like tools and and things
00:05:28
they can do to prove their improve their
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own life. If anyone wants to know the
00:05:31
David Neith backstory, you can go back
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to the last episode of that or or get
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the book. But yeah, um basically uh you
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thought you were a dumb kid. Um you were
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held back a couple of years in school.
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Yep.
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>> Diagnosed um with disease in your early
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20s
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>> and a dead end printing job.
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>> Yeah. Yeah. That's it. But I I think the
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important thing is I was really clear on
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what I wanted. Now in my office, you
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know, one of the things that I talk
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about work with the end of mind. So it
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starts with a vision and there's an idea
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in the head. So I talk about taking it
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out and getting a vision board. So for
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families out there and get it's a great
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family project. Go and get a corkboard,
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sit down with the kids, get the one each
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and go, if you could not fail, what
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would you like to do? Now kids are going
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to go I want to be an astronaut. I want
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to be prime minister in the next couple
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of weeks. You know what I mean? But even
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for families, it's a wonderful project.
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I have a picture in my office that I
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drew at the beginning around this time
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in 1995
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of me on stage in front of a whole lot
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of people. It's [ __ ] my reality now.
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Now back then it was like [ __ ]
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deluded. Look at you. You're in steel
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cap boots and overalls filling ink ducks
00:06:44
mate on seven bucks an hour. So start
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with the end of mind. Get everyone out
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there to start. If you could not fail,
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what would you like to do? Right? So
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that's where we we sort of we talked
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about going into the goal setting sort
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of thing. So it starts with a vision
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then then we apply the that smart test.
00:07:04
So we got to get sensory specific and
00:07:07
and specific about what it is that we
00:07:09
want. And the reason for that
00:07:12
fundamentally is that the brain's
00:07:14
processing so much information. It uses
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fuzzy logic and it will do just enough.
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So the more specific you are, the higher
00:07:22
the possibility and probability. It
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doesn't guarantee anything but it incre
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improves the possibility and probability
00:07:29
of achieving it. Right? Then you go what
00:07:31
are the measurables? Okay. So for me I
00:07:34
knew that I had to educate myself. I
00:07:36
knew that I financially had to get
00:07:38
myself in a better position. I knew I
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had to sacrifice. Now for me that was a
00:07:43
transition over about 3 to 5 years
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before I actually got to a point of
00:07:47
being full-time. So the other thing
00:07:48
we've got to appreciate
00:07:51
is yes, you may have a majestic dream,
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but get real about the [ __ ] time
00:07:56
frames and the commitment and the
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tenacity that's involved because a lot
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of people are very quick to saying what
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they want, but they're not prepared to
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put in the [ __ ] effort.
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>> You know, bottom line is we behave our
00:08:08
way to success. And you must be
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tenacious with that in pursuing it
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because you will inevitably on that
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journey [ __ ] come up against
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challenges.
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>> You mentioned vision board before uh
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which I feel like maybe it's a Kiwi
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thing, but a lot of New Zealanders would
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be
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>> um maybe like too sheepish or
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embarrassed to do it or or at least um
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embarrassed to show someone else it.
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What sort of reaction did you get like
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30 years ago when you had a vision board
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with you on stage? Did did people
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>> Everyone loved it.
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[ __ ] You know what's interesting? Um,
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is isn't it interesting that you make
00:08:45
that statement that you think Kiwis are
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too cheapish? I would disagree. I would
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say we are one of the greatest nations
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in the world for being visionary,
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entrepreneurial, uh, punching against
00:09:01
the our weight, you know what I mean? We
00:09:03
we punch up a a grade, you know what I
00:09:05
mean? So I would say um
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whether we debate that or not,
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fundamentally
00:09:12
I know that we need to be fully
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committed to doing anything and
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everything we possibly can to improve
00:09:19
our lives. I mean I get a buzz out of
00:09:24
living a life back then and getting
00:09:26
excited about overtime on Tom and a half
00:09:28
cuz I got $10 an hour. Do you know what
00:09:32
I mean? WHAT THE [ __ ] NOW, you know, I
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charge 10 grand for an hour. That blows
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my [ __ ] mind. And there's people in
00:09:40
this country that make 10,000 a minute.
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>> So, yeah. I I I think what it is is that
00:09:47
we've got years and years of people
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talking about this that have it's proven
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that it it like I said it doesn't
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guarantee anything, Dom, but it just
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improves the probability and and
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possibility because you're focusing your
00:10:02
mind on something.
00:10:04
>> Some of the um the many uh well-known
00:10:06
New Zealanders you've worked with
00:10:07
include um Lydia Co, who's the like the
00:10:09
greatest New Zealand golfer ever, one of
00:10:11
the greatest golfers the world's ever
00:10:12
produced. Yeah. And um actually 10 years
00:10:14
ago you started working with um Israelis
00:10:17
who who was um a kickboxer at the time
00:10:20
with a very mixed performance. Did they
00:10:21
have vision boards?
00:10:22
>> Yeah, absolutely. In fact, we talked
00:10:24
about this. Uh Lydia Co was eight when
00:10:27
she brought her a vision board and what
00:10:29
she had done and remember it's very
00:10:31
important that the vision board is
00:10:33
sensory specific to self. So I don't
00:10:36
want pictures of of of your idols. I get
00:10:39
kids to do it especially and they come
00:10:41
up with all Messi and all those other
00:10:43
great football players I want to be, you
00:10:45
know, and I'm going hang on, take the
00:10:48
shirt and put your face on because the
00:10:50
brain, you know, there's a there's a
00:10:51
theory called the cocktail theory,
00:10:53
right? So if you're in a party and
00:10:55
there's a lot of noise and a lot of
00:10:57
people talking,
00:10:59
but if someone yells out Dom,
00:11:02
you'll turn around cuz you'll recognize
00:11:05
that, right? So self recognizes self. So
00:11:08
when it's sensory specific, it's real to
00:11:11
self, right? So Lydia basically had a
00:11:16
beautiful dream cuz kids are wonderful,
00:11:18
right? Cuz they're they they haven't
00:11:20
been contaminated with society, right?
00:11:22
Um but she had an image of Anakah
00:11:25
Sorenson holding the US open, chopped
00:11:27
her head off and popped her head on top
00:11:29
of it. So Israel had the same thing. He
00:11:32
had this the the UFC's middleweight of
00:11:35
middleweight UFC champion belt
00:11:37
superimposed on a picture of him before
00:11:40
he even had a UFC contract. So again, it
00:11:43
goes back to any thought that I
00:11:46
continuously hold in my mind will soon
00:11:48
seek expression through some practical
00:11:50
means. And what it does too is that
00:11:54
sometimes, you know, you got to
00:11:55
appreciate we have between 60 and 80,000
00:11:58
thoughts a day. [ __ ] knows who was the
00:12:01
poor prick who had to keep count. But
00:12:03
anyway, that's what we've come up with.
00:12:04
Right. So, what I'm interested in also
00:12:08
is ensuring that the majority of those
00:12:11
thoughts are congruent with what you
00:12:13
intend.
00:12:15
>> Okay. Then we've got realistic with the
00:12:17
process, unrealistic with the vision as
00:12:20
we go through the smart test. A for
00:12:22
accountability. So, the smart test is
00:12:24
sensory specific and specific about what
00:12:26
it is you want. What are the
00:12:27
measurables? to who am I accountable to
00:12:29
make it happen? Because then you
00:12:30
override the procrastination.
00:12:32
Uh realistic with the process but
00:12:34
unrealistic with the vision and then
00:12:36
timeline deadline. You start applying
00:12:38
all those things. Now you we talked
00:12:40
about this. You were probably applying a
00:12:42
lot of those principles even though you
00:12:44
weren't intentionally writing them down.
00:12:48
>> When when do you give up? What I mean by
00:12:50
that is say say there's a kid that that
00:12:52
does what you're saying and they they
00:12:53
take a photo of Will Jordan or Bowden
00:12:55
Barrett or Damen McKenzie and put their
00:12:57
face on the body. When when do you
00:12:58
accept, okay, you're not going to be an
00:12:59
all black? Well, for me,
00:13:02
the Golden Globes have just introduced a
00:13:04
podcast category,
00:13:05
>> right?
00:13:05
>> Um, so I I uh say I have a vision board
00:13:09
of me like winning a Golden Globe.
00:13:11
>> When When do you give up?
00:13:13
>> Even Even if you don't reach that, like
00:13:14
for me, I'm I'm not going to win a
00:13:16
Golden Globe for best podcast. But
00:13:17
>> why not?
00:13:18
>> Well, it feels
00:13:19
>> I mean, you've got guests like me on,
00:13:20
Dom, it's inevitable. It's probably
00:13:23
going to happen.
00:13:23
>> No, but I can I can see the benefit in
00:13:25
that if you think that high.
00:13:26
>> Yes. Even if you fall short, you're
00:13:28
going to be further
00:13:29
>> a better version of yourself. Remember,
00:13:32
have the best of intention. Let go the
00:13:35
outcome.
00:13:38
>> Remember, we go, we talked earlier,
00:13:40
intentions and our intentions need to
00:13:42
align. What do I intend? I intend to be
00:13:45
one of the greatest podcasters in the
00:13:47
world. Where's my attention? I'm paying
00:13:49
attention to the things that I know that
00:13:51
need to happen to improve the
00:13:54
probability. Nothing's [ __ ]
00:13:56
guaranteed.
00:13:57
Nothing. But you can improve the
00:14:00
possibility and probability. And how do
00:14:02
you fundamentally do that? Bottom line
00:14:05
is we behave our way to success. Your
00:14:07
behavior is congruent with that vision.
00:14:09
It improves probability.
00:14:11
>> Do you have a vision board at the
00:14:12
moment?
00:14:13
>> I don't. No. What I have is my vision
00:14:16
board from 1995 still sits sits on my
00:14:20
shelf and I every day I'm reminded of
00:14:22
it. It's just so universal. I mean, yes,
00:14:26
it can change. [ __ ] [ __ ] rules, right?
00:14:29
You know, everyone goes, you you need to
00:14:31
be doing this and that. Bottom line,
00:14:34
it's about my behavior every day. My
00:14:36
behavior is congrent with that vision. I
00:14:39
mean, when you think about this, Dom, I
00:14:42
maybe not on stage talking to three,
00:14:44
four, 5,000 people, but we're connecting
00:14:47
with four, five, 50,000 people.
00:14:52
>> Congrant.
00:14:53
>> Oh, hey, just a side question. I don't
00:14:56
know if you know him personally, but to
00:14:57
time stamp this conversation, we're
00:14:59
recording this in mid January. Um, the
00:15:01
day before we're recording this, um,
00:15:03
Scott Robertson was dumped as the All
00:15:05
Black coach.
00:15:06
>> Say you're working with him. uh on a
00:15:08
one-on-one basis.
00:15:11
How do like you how do you deal with
00:15:13
disappointment like that? Like what
00:15:14
would you be saying to him today if he
00:15:16
was your client?
00:15:18
>> Yeah, that's that's
00:15:20
that's
00:15:22
something that's so [ __ ] nuanced. Uh
00:15:25
the how you can deal with that is you
00:15:29
can't put a blanket over how everyone
00:15:31
how do I deal with it? Well, every
00:15:34
individual is completely different.
00:15:35
There's no specific uh put it this way.
00:15:39
I would premise it in the sense that if
00:15:42
you were going into a high performance
00:15:44
environment like Scott, right?
00:15:48
Do we agree that we understand that part
00:15:51
of the requirement is that it's
00:15:53
performance-based and secondary is that
00:15:57
it's cutthroat. You can lose your job.
00:15:59
There's no [ __ ] guarantees. So if you
00:16:01
want to play at that game, you have to
00:16:03
accept the rules. Hey, and I'm sure he
00:16:06
was very accepting and understanding of
00:16:08
that.
00:16:09
>> He'll be fine.
00:16:10
>> I think he's a brilliant coach
00:16:12
personally though.
00:16:13
>> Oh, and there's no doubt like what he
00:16:14
wanted was um the the best for the team,
00:16:16
but something there's been a glitch in
00:16:18
there somewhere. Obviously,
00:16:19
>> it m and and that's really not a place
00:16:22
that I I would want to venture to to
00:16:25
talk about per se.
00:16:27
>> But from from the world you're in, if
00:16:28
you're looking at um high performers
00:16:30
that are hoping to reach the top of the
00:16:31
mountain, you always have to deal with
00:16:33
being pushed off the peak. Absolutely.
00:16:34
It's inevitable. I mean, if you want to
00:16:37
play the game that you you have to
00:16:39
understand the the parameters, the
00:16:41
rules.
00:16:42
>> Uh there's no [ __ ] gu, but again,
00:16:44
it's a bit like the game of life.
00:16:45
There's no guarantees. You could be hit
00:16:47
by a [ __ ] car tomorrow.
00:16:49
>> Hence why uh at least what I want to be
00:16:52
able to do if I assume that I'm going to
00:16:54
live to I think 99. I reckon I might
00:16:58
>> Why 199?
00:16:59
>> That's still a good number, isn't it?
00:17:01
>> That's great.
00:17:01
>> Oh yeah. Yeah. Uh, I like to think a
00:17:03
hundred.
00:17:05
But but here's the thing. I I want to
00:17:08
look back
00:17:11
in reflection and go, you know what? I'm
00:17:13
[ __ ] proud of me.
00:17:15
>> I mean, if I died today, I I could tell
00:17:18
you now, I'm I'm bloody proud of myself
00:17:20
>> for what I've done and what I've
00:17:22
achieved and
00:17:25
in in essence,
00:17:27
the lives that I've affected. It's
00:17:30
[ __ ] humbling, man. It really is.
00:17:32
>> There was um yeah uh this book the
00:17:35
winning mindset. So that's when we had
00:17:36
you in last time on the podcast in the
00:17:37
spare room at home. That was two years
00:17:38
ago. And there was one massive there was
00:17:40
so many takeaways from the podcast for
00:17:42
me.
00:17:43
>> The one big one was the um the positive
00:17:44
selft talk.
00:17:46
>> I think I have a tendency to be sort of
00:17:48
self-deprecating. And uh you said
00:17:50
something to me like [ __ ] that mate.
00:17:52
There's no shortage of people that are
00:17:53
trying to tell tear you down. Don't be
00:17:54
one of them. Don't make their job
00:17:56
easier. And then um I I sent you a
00:17:58
message shortly after that like a month
00:18:00
or two after that. Yeah.
00:18:01
>> Um saying, "Um, mate, the podcast is
00:18:03
going really well. People love you." And
00:18:05
you replied, "Mate, I love me, too. If I
00:18:08
was a chick, I'd date me." Um,
00:18:10
>> which which I thought that's really
00:18:12
interesting because you are you are
00:18:14
living what you say. Um,
00:18:16
>> yeah.
00:18:17
>> What is there a difference between
00:18:18
between being self-deprecating and being
00:18:20
negative?
00:18:21
>> Well, put it this way.
00:18:23
>> I think the key to this is
00:18:25
>> and what I talk about is is the
00:18:28
selfimage. Now, understand this. Imagine
00:18:30
a crystal clearar bowl, right? With
00:18:33
crystal clearar water in it. And as you
00:18:35
look through that bowl, you can see your
00:18:37
goals, your vision. Now, as I was saying
00:18:40
before, how many thoughts do we have a
00:18:42
day on average?
00:18:43
>> You said like 60,000.
00:18:44
>> 60 to 80,000 thoughts a day. Now, of
00:18:47
those thoughts, they can either
00:18:48
contribute or contaminate. Now, the
00:18:50
gatekeeper is conscious awareness.
00:18:53
Because I would say that you know you
00:18:56
have that negative selft talk
00:18:58
>> but the intelligent person that you are
00:19:00
you're aware of the fact that you're
00:19:01
having that
00:19:02
>> negative selft talk right. So again the
00:19:05
beautiful thing here is because you're
00:19:07
conscious of that is that you cannot
00:19:09
change anything you don't first
00:19:11
recognize. So when you recognize that
00:19:14
you can correct. Now so the the
00:19:16
conscious is like the gatekeeper so to
00:19:19
speak right? you're consciously aware
00:19:20
that you change the language. Um, if you
00:19:24
don't imagine that crystal clear bowl,
00:19:27
it's like every time you have a negative
00:19:28
thought, it's like a little bit of dot
00:19:30
of dye. It's just insignificant
00:19:32
initially.
00:19:34
>> But imagine if you had 20,000 negative
00:19:36
thoughts a day. Very soon it would be
00:19:38
stained, wouldn't it? What nichi say? We
00:19:41
muddy the waters to make it appear deep.
00:19:44
So again, it's very important to apply
00:19:47
something actually uh from boxing.
00:19:50
One of the greatest things ever said is
00:19:53
from the referee before the before the
00:19:55
two fighters come out banging. The first
00:19:57
thing he says is
00:19:58
>> protect yourself at all times.
00:20:00
>> That's it.
00:20:00
>> Yeah,
00:20:01
>> that's protect yourself at all times.
00:20:04
Again, you need to be consciously aware
00:20:06
of what is the [ __ ] story I'm
00:20:08
telling. And again, it's it's anchored
00:20:12
into this. I give myself permission
00:20:16
to achieve whatever I dream, right? I'm
00:20:19
going to give myself permission to
00:20:21
pursue it. Like I said, there's no
00:20:24
guarantees.
00:20:25
>> But [ __ ] big hairy balls stom. Don't
00:20:28
just be a podcaster. Be the podcaster
00:20:32
cuz you're already on the way. Are are
00:20:34
you are you do you find like when you're
00:20:36
when you're tired or when you're unwell
00:20:38
that you're you know you you start
00:20:39
talking negative to yourself? Do you
00:20:41
catch yourself doing it? It's human,
00:20:42
right?
00:20:43
>> Yeah, it it it's human. Look, we we are
00:20:45
all human. But here's something that's
00:20:46
interesting, Dom, think about this. Most
00:20:49
people are in in employment, right?
00:20:51
Okay. They got jobs. Now, how many
00:20:53
roughly how many sick days do they have
00:20:55
a year?
00:20:56
>> You get 10, I think.
00:20:57
>> 10. [ __ ] Really?
00:20:58
>> I think that's the In my day, it was
00:21:00
like [ __ ] five. It's doubled.
00:21:03
>> What the hell?
00:21:04
>> I was um Yeah, I think it was under
00:21:06
Justindra's Labor government. I was
00:21:07
talking to someone about this the other
00:21:08
day. I used to take it as a like a badge
00:21:10
of honor that I'd go for like two three
00:21:11
years without a sick day. Um but it's
00:21:13
silly use it or lose it. So I kind of
00:21:16
regret that now. I think if I was in the
00:21:17
system now I'
00:21:18
>> Yeah. And and I think I don't I I I
00:21:20
disagree. Look here here's the
00:21:22
interesting thing. I've been doing my
00:21:24
work for 30 years. Dom, do you know how
00:21:27
many days I've had off sick where I've
00:21:28
had to cancel the day's clients?
00:21:30
>> How many?
00:21:31
>> Three.
00:21:33
>> One every decade.
00:21:34
>> One every Well done, mate. Your math is
00:21:36
fantastic. one every decade I have to
00:21:38
count because I'm sick man there there
00:21:41
was there was a beautiful movie back in
00:21:44
our day
00:21:46
remember Predator with Arnold Schwarzene
00:21:48
right
00:21:49
>> there's a wonderful scene that sums this
00:21:51
up right and so they're fighting
00:21:53
>> where where are you going with that bear
00:21:55
with me bear with me right so there's a
00:21:58
scene and the guy turns to his mate and
00:22:01
he goes you're bleeding and the guy
00:22:03
turns around and says I ain't got time
00:22:05
to bleed and he said, "You got time to
00:22:07
duck." And he fires up.
00:22:09
>> I haven't got time to that. That That is
00:22:11
so poignant
00:22:12
>> because most people put more time and
00:22:15
effort into creating their victim story
00:22:17
than they do about getting off their ass
00:22:18
and creating something.
00:22:20
>> Why is that?
00:22:21
>> Because it's the easier option.
00:22:27
>> But you're only holding yourself back,
00:22:29
right?
00:22:29
>> Correct.
00:22:30
>> I mean, look, let's let's go back to
00:22:32
premise on this.
00:22:36
You as an individual
00:22:39
are the most majestic project you will
00:22:42
ever work on. Not your home, not sorry
00:22:45
trends. Uh not your home and your
00:22:47
bathroom and all the and and work and
00:22:49
other stuff. Fundamentally,
00:22:52
it starts with you. You are the most
00:22:55
incredible project you'll ever work on.
00:22:57
And that will be worked on to the day
00:23:00
you die.
00:23:02
And when you understand that, it's so so
00:23:06
beautiful. And knowing, you know what,
00:23:09
today I I I want to I want to think
00:23:12
about something that that that supports
00:23:15
me in becoming the best version of
00:23:17
myself because that's the most beautiful
00:23:20
project and the most beautiful promise
00:23:23
you could ever keep to yourself.
00:23:26
But for you personally, like when
00:23:28
negative thoughts or self-doubt creeps
00:23:30
in, like how quickly do you recognize it
00:23:32
and how how do you stamp it out?
00:23:35
>> Yeah, I I think
00:23:38
and it's hard for me because I generally
00:23:40
don't have a lot of negative thoughts
00:23:42
and yes, I am human, but I I do
00:23:43
occasionally. Um, and the first things
00:23:47
first, right, is I recognize
00:23:52
fundamentally and and let myself sit in
00:23:54
it. you know why am I feeling like this
00:23:56
right but but the fundamental
00:23:59
programming for me is I know that if I
00:24:01
stay there it will start to contaminate
00:24:04
the selfimage so immediately sometimes
00:24:08
it's it's valid you know there could be
00:24:11
a real reason there that needs to be
00:24:13
investigated
00:24:14
>> um but again what I would encourage is
00:24:18
that you disassociate the emotions and
00:24:21
look at what the learnings are from it
00:24:23
have the you know what I I think that's
00:24:25
really important because then I'm
00:24:27
protecting myself and nine times out of
00:24:30
10 a lot of those thoughts that can be
00:24:33
negative actually aren't really that
00:24:36
justified.
00:24:37
>> You know I I think we were talking um
00:24:40
you know about social media and everyone
00:24:43
gets triggered on social media. Um,
00:24:45
again, when you've built and worked on
00:24:48
yourself as a project
00:24:50
that you become robust and tenacious,
00:24:53
you can work your way through that,
00:24:55
navigate through some of those
00:24:56
challenges. But you can also apply a
00:24:58
certain level of critical thinking. And
00:25:01
I think when you start to reason these
00:25:04
things out, um, I think you can slowly
00:25:09
disassociate those negative emotions. M
00:25:13
>> I think today everyone seems to be
00:25:15
triggered in emotionally sense and you
00:25:17
know there's a real lack of critical
00:25:19
thinking and common sense.
00:25:23
>> Okay. So vision boards we like vision
00:25:24
boards
00:25:25
>> and goal setting which are the smart
00:25:26
test.
00:25:27
>> Goal setting. Um yeah I think this is
00:25:30
this is my weak spot. So I love books
00:25:32
like yours. Like I I'll walk into a
00:25:34
paper plus or a a relay store at the
00:25:36
airport and I'm attracted to it. I'll
00:25:37
buy your book. I'll buy habits of high
00:25:40
performers from James Lachlan. I'll buy
00:25:42
become unstoppable by Gilbert and I'll
00:25:45
read these books,
00:25:46
>> but then I won't actually make the next
00:25:47
step and implement anything, but I
00:25:49
figure I'm getting all this good food in
00:25:50
me.
00:25:51
>> Well, you basically it's like a
00:25:53
computer. The brain's like a computer,
00:25:54
right? Good [ __ ] goes in, good [ __ ]
00:25:56
comes out.
00:25:58
>> Look what you've created, Dom.
00:26:01
>> Maybe take a moment of poise
00:26:04
>> to really acknowledge how far you've
00:26:06
come.
00:26:08
>> Congratulations, man.
00:26:10
>> Yeah. Do you how do you how do you deal
00:26:11
with someone like and I'm sure there's a
00:26:13
lot of people like me that uh are never
00:26:16
never happy with where they are.
00:26:17
>> Uh nor am I.
00:26:21
>> Is that unhealthy?
00:26:22
>> No.
00:26:23
>> It's like you're always chasing
00:26:24
something like happiness happiness has
00:26:26
to be mate. It's curiosity.
00:26:30
An investigated life is a life lived,
00:26:34
right? I'm I'm like a [ __ ] kid. You
00:26:37
know what I was saying to you before?
00:26:38
I'm really proud of the fact that this
00:26:40
year I'm moving to just three days a
00:26:43
week and people and you said to me,
00:26:44
"What are you going to do with all the
00:26:45
extra [ __ ] time?" Are you [ __ ]
00:26:48
serious? Think about this. What were you
00:26:51
like as a kid when you went into a toy
00:26:54
store? Were you like, "Oh, look, how
00:26:56
long have we gone?" You know, it's like,
00:26:57
"Fuck, I'm off." Right? There is so much
00:27:02
to learn.
00:27:04
>> Yeah. There was an interesting thing I
00:27:06
wanted to ask you. The last time I had
00:27:07
you on the podcast, you you were working
00:27:08
4 days a week.
00:27:09
>> Um, also something else that I found
00:27:10
interesting is you wake up naturally
00:27:12
without an alarm clock. When you wake
00:27:13
up, you wake up.
00:27:13
>> I have never woken up to an alarm clock
00:27:16
in the last 30 years.
00:27:17
>> Cuz a lot of the lot of the books I
00:27:18
read, a lot of the podcasts I listen to,
00:27:20
they talk about a structured morning
00:27:21
routine. Like like Robin Sharma's the 5
00:27:24
a.m. club or whatever.
00:27:25
>> Um, so a lot of people listening to this
00:27:27
that are into this sort of content might
00:27:28
think where's where's the discipline?
00:27:31
Um, yeah. How do you how do you define
00:27:33
discipline with the way you approach
00:27:34
your life? Uh, well,
00:27:37
I think it's all nuanced, right? And and
00:27:39
and and my personality is I I will
00:27:42
follow the law, right? But [ __ ] the
00:27:45
rules, man. You know, I I [ __ ]
00:27:48
structured my life how I want to. I
00:27:50
don't give a [ __ ] what other people
00:27:52
think because I know that in essence,
00:27:55
what I'm doing every [ __ ] day is
00:27:58
congruent with my values and beliefs,
00:28:00
>> you know? So, if you want to get up at
00:28:03
5:00 a.m., [ __ ] go for it. I don't give
00:28:05
a [ __ ] It's great, right? I mean, why
00:28:10
is it that we in this world, it's
00:28:12
[ __ ] this or that. [ __ ] the rules,
00:28:15
man. I So, I've always been fiercely
00:28:18
independent. I I woke up and I think,
00:28:20
you know, what were possibly the reasons
00:28:22
for that? Well, for [ __ ] eight years
00:28:24
and and beyond that at Wesley, we were
00:28:27
woken up at a time. When I was doing
00:28:31
shift work, I had to rely on an alarm
00:28:34
clock.
00:28:34
>> I think the alarm clock for me,
00:28:37
actually, I've still got I bought it
00:28:39
from a guy at Comprint [ __ ] 40 years
00:28:42
ago.
00:28:43
>> Um,
00:28:45
>> it sits there so I know what time it is.
00:28:48
I wake up now. When I say that, I go to
00:28:51
bed. I'm in bed by 9:30, mate.
00:28:53
>> And I generally know that I really feel
00:28:56
refreshed and energized. If I get at
00:28:59
least 8 to nine hours of sleep,
00:29:01
>> and believe my wife goes, mate, within 2
00:29:03
minutes, he's gone.
00:29:05
>> I'm you know, you had I was talking to
00:29:07
one of the neuroscientists. She said,
00:29:08
"Well, you know, there's about quality
00:29:10
of sleep." But I wake up um I love
00:29:14
mornings. So, my morning routine is
00:29:17
obviously, you know, you you shower and
00:29:19
I don't really have to do too much hair
00:29:21
and makeup. Um, but I love the quiet
00:29:24
time in the morning to to read and and
00:29:27
again, it's it's like for me, uh,
00:29:29
whether I'm in the moment that Joe gets
00:29:32
up, my my my lovely wife, at that point,
00:29:35
then I'll pivot to a podcast. Your
00:29:37
podcasts are great, Dom. They really are
00:29:40
amazing. Um, so I I'll educate myself.
00:29:43
Now, I'm multi-dimensional. Being
00:29:44
dyslexic, I have to I have to find
00:29:47
different ways of learning.
00:29:49
>> But fundamentally, I love being curious
00:29:53
and learning.
00:29:55
>> What a wonderful way. I mean, to live
00:29:57
life
00:30:00
curious. M
00:30:02
>> you know I I I would I did another
00:30:05
podcast and I talked about the
00:30:07
transition from
00:30:09
the camel to the lion and ni talked
00:30:12
about the last transition to being that
00:30:14
of the child. The child hasn't been
00:30:16
polluted with society. It's it's almost
00:30:18
like a clean slate that is investigating
00:30:22
life. They're cur kids are wonderful,
00:30:24
right?
00:30:25
>> What a wonderful way to live life
00:30:28
curiously. I think life just kicks you
00:30:30
in the ass.
00:30:31
>> Knocked down a few times.
00:30:33
>> It's inevitable.
00:30:34
>> Yeah,
00:30:34
>> but what do they say? You kicked in the
00:30:36
ass, get get pushed down twice, get up
00:30:39
three.
00:30:41
>> [ __ ] It's It's inevitable, isn't it?
00:30:44
You're going to have challenges. Um, but
00:30:47
what? Surrender to that.
00:30:50
>> Yeah. How how tough was it for you? Can
00:30:51
you paint a picture of how tough it was
00:30:52
for you at school? Like being dyslexic,
00:30:54
held back. It was [ __ ] hard because
00:30:57
you know I I I'll give you a a
00:30:59
significant moment for me
00:31:02
>> and kids today are probably in the next
00:31:05
probably this week they're all getting
00:31:06
their results for NCAA and whatnot.
00:31:09
I was with a mate in Whickeyi Island. Um
00:31:13
we went over there cuz we had friends a
00:31:16
mate had a place there. We we were
00:31:19
tenting. I was like 15.
00:31:22
And I remember public phones then, you
00:31:25
know, 20 cents and you call home. So he
00:31:27
called home to get his results and I
00:31:30
hear his mom talking, you know, oh yeah,
00:31:32
I'm so proud of you. You done well.
00:31:34
You've passed all this. And I've got
00:31:36
this
00:31:39
feeling in my gut cuz I knew what was
00:31:42
going to h what the results were. I I
00:31:45
walked out of exam. I I really struggled
00:31:47
and I got [ __ ] off and frustrated. And
00:31:50
I remember mom saying, "Oh, Dave, what
00:31:52
are we going to do
00:31:54
>> now?" Here's the thing
00:31:57
in that moment.
00:31:59
I could have allowed that to define me
00:32:02
as in if you're thick, you then set a
00:32:07
perimeter of expectation based on that a
00:32:10
limiting belief. I'm not that bright.
00:32:12
Therefore, I could do a trade or or
00:32:16
something that sort of and I'm no
00:32:17
disrespect to to trades because, you
00:32:19
know, but I'm talking about a real basic
00:32:22
level.
00:32:23
>> And fundamentally what I did and
00:32:25
perception is projection. I I went out
00:32:28
there and fundamentally got paid to put
00:32:30
ink out of a [ __ ] drum into an ink
00:32:33
duct. That's what I [ __ ] did because
00:32:35
I thought that's what I was. But there
00:32:38
was something in there that went, "Fuck
00:32:40
this.
00:32:41
I need I need to change my thinking.
00:32:45
It's only years later that we've
00:32:47
realized that dyslexics are [ __ ]
00:32:49
superheroes.
00:32:51
>> They're some of the most incredible
00:32:53
genius minds that big picture visionary.
00:32:57
[ __ ]
00:32:58
>> Richard Branson is dyslexic. Look what
00:33:01
he's achieved. So again, we we've got to
00:33:04
be very careful we don't self-impose
00:33:06
limiting beliefs.
00:33:08
A belief system by definition, Dom, is
00:33:11
something I hope is true.
00:33:14
>> Why aren't you still a printer now? Like
00:33:15
what gave you the belief that you could
00:33:17
do something better? Was it was it just
00:33:18
you you hated your life so much then you
00:33:20
knew the only option was to change?
00:33:21
>> No, I think more importantly, I think
00:33:24
there's a a couple of key things based
00:33:27
on my personality. If you went and did
00:33:29
your MyersBriggs, they'll come up and
00:33:32
from that they can generally give you
00:33:35
some guidance as to what sort of
00:33:37
industry you should be doing. So
00:33:39
fundamentally it's based on your
00:33:40
personality. Do what you are right
00:33:45
on based on my MyersBriggs the worst
00:33:49
thing I could possibly be doing is
00:33:51
printing or engineering. what I should
00:33:54
be doing is coaching and uh performance
00:33:58
coaching.
00:34:00
>> I I'm doing what I am.
00:34:03
So yeah, like I said, it's an
00:34:05
investigative life. How many people
00:34:07
really understand their personalities?
00:34:09
People say, "I do personally profiles."
00:34:11
There's some richness in there. And I'm
00:34:13
not saying that it's absolute and
00:34:14
[ __ ] perfect, but there's some some
00:34:18
bits of information that you can take
00:34:20
away and really think about to help you
00:34:23
design your life.
00:34:24
>> The other key thing is that I normally
00:34:26
ask people is this. If you could not
00:34:29
fail, what would you like to do with
00:34:31
your life? That's a wonderful question.
00:34:34
And I I've had so many people that have
00:34:36
answered that question and gone, I'd do
00:34:38
this. And then they've set out to work
00:34:41
with the end of mind. It's taken time.
00:34:43
Some people have done it in six months,
00:34:45
two weeks. Some people three. For me, it
00:34:47
took about five, six years to really get
00:34:50
there.
00:34:51
>> How do How does that work for someone
00:34:53
that's um say listening to this that's
00:34:54
in a like a golden handcuff situation.
00:34:57
So, say maybe they're in their 30s or
00:34:58
their 40s. They've been in the same
00:35:00
industry since they left school. So,
00:35:01
they're at the point where they're
00:35:02
earning a six figure salary.
00:35:04
>> They really want to if they could not
00:35:06
fail, what would they do? Um maybe it's
00:35:08
going, you know, I don't know, go and be
00:35:10
a primary school teacher. but they
00:35:11
couldn't take the you know what I mean?
00:35:14
>> Well, again,
00:35:14
>> they've got they've got a family,
00:35:16
they've got a mortgage, they've got
00:35:17
commitments.
00:35:17
>> Well, that that's where you you got to
00:35:18
negotiate what what what are your core
00:35:21
values, right? So, again, something else
00:35:23
that people need to unpack is
00:35:27
living congrent with your core values.
00:35:30
And a lot of people uh really don't even
00:35:33
consider that, you know, what are your
00:35:35
core values? values by definition are
00:35:38
the
00:35:40
probably the best way to explain it is a
00:35:42
preference times a priority and a belief
00:35:43
system you have belief systems but like
00:35:46
values are like a belief system on
00:35:48
steroids and you have these core values
00:35:51
and and we attach these belief systems
00:35:53
to them right so sometimes you've got to
00:35:56
ask yourself I value and when you start
00:36:00
working through that that and that can
00:36:02
be very challenging I I say to people
00:36:04
look what I'd like you to do is take a
00:36:06
moment And I want you to come up with
00:36:08
your 10 10 values that are important for
00:36:11
you. Right?
00:36:12
>> And then from then and believe it or not
00:36:18
identifying those values for a lot of
00:36:19
people they get to about three or four
00:36:21
and after that they're [ __ ] I don't
00:36:23
know I because again they've never asked
00:36:26
the question. Remember the quality of my
00:36:28
life is directly related to the quality
00:36:30
of the questions asked. So start asking
00:36:32
that from there. Then I say, "Right,
00:36:35
let's put it into a hierarchy. What's
00:36:38
your number one value?" And I know what
00:36:40
you're going to say. Well, what's your
00:36:41
number one value, David? My number
00:36:44
>> a terrible impression.
00:36:45
>> Sorry, mate. No, what are I going to ask
00:36:47
you, what are your core values?
00:36:48
>> My number one value for me is freedom.
00:36:53
>> Freedom. I know that
00:36:58
when I'm free to make my own decisions,
00:37:00
to design my life, right? And again,
00:37:02
it's not for everyone. Everyone, we all
00:37:05
have different values, but freedom is
00:37:07
very important for me.
00:37:10
What do they say? You know, if you're on
00:37:11
the plane with a loved one, put it on
00:37:13
yourself first, right? So I love I
00:37:17
believe because I've matched my
00:37:21
personality, my goals, my intentions to
00:37:23
a lifestyle. I mean I I love my life,
00:37:26
right? You know, a highlight for me is
00:37:28
having breakfast with my wife every
00:37:30
morning, discussing stuff. We goal set
00:37:32
all the time. We don't write it down,
00:37:34
but we have conversations. We hold each
00:37:36
other to account. Um, so freedom for me
00:37:41
has a ripple down effect because when I
00:37:45
feel that
00:37:46
I'm a happier dad,
00:37:49
I'm a happier husband. I'm a better
00:37:52
husband. I'm a better dad. You know what
00:37:54
I mean? I I I'm a better friend. And I I
00:37:59
am very selective. I have a very small
00:38:03
group of people that I really truly call
00:38:05
friends. I I don't need a lot of that.
00:38:09
Uh so I don't give a [ __ ] about online
00:38:11
and [ __ ] you know? I I I'm I'm happy.
00:38:14
You know, I had someone say to me, "Oh,
00:38:16
you should be scaling up your business."
00:38:18
And [ __ ] I don't want to. I It's not
00:38:21
congruent with my values.
00:38:23
>> This is the thing I find confusing about
00:38:25
you. So, your number one value, you talk
00:38:27
about freedom. Yeah.
00:38:28
>> Um just when we were in the kitchen
00:38:29
outside before coming in, you you gave
00:38:31
me some exciting news that this year
00:38:33
you're going down to three days work a
00:38:34
week.
00:38:34
>> Three days a week. And um but
00:38:36
>> and how did you what did you respond?
00:38:38
>> I don't what I what did I say? I can't
00:38:40
even What did I say?
00:38:41
>> Why are you going to get What are you
00:38:42
going to do with all the extra time?
00:38:44
>> Oh yeah. No, this is the funny thing
00:38:45
with the extra time. You were studying
00:38:47
more so you almost so you can work more.
00:38:49
>> No, I'm saying to make you a better
00:38:51
>> No, no, no. I'm studying more because
00:38:53
what did I say before?
00:38:55
>> You are the most majestic project you'll
00:38:59
ever work on. Right. So where's my
00:39:02
curiosity? It's in philosophy.
00:39:04
Especially
00:39:07
>> I want to dive deeper. Now part of the
00:39:10
motivation for that Dom is you got to
00:39:12
appreciate from all my schooling years
00:39:15
to the age of 21
00:39:18
I had a a belief that I wasn't that
00:39:21
bright.
00:39:21
>> Mhm.
00:39:22
>> When I overcame that and learned how to
00:39:25
learn. So again it's all proportionate.
00:39:27
A lot of people have finished university
00:39:30
uh and in a mast's by the time they're
00:39:33
25.
00:39:34
[ __ ] mate. I've only just started.
00:39:37
>> I actually uh the next semester I
00:39:41
finished my degrees. I've already
00:39:43
finished my philosophy degree, but I'm
00:39:45
finishing my psychology degree. So, I
00:39:47
come out uh in in in May this year with
00:39:51
two degrees. Um, but that in itself was
00:39:55
something that scared the [ __ ] out of me
00:39:58
because I had that history of not that
00:40:00
bright. And where fear lies, there lies
00:40:04
your task. I [ __ ] attacked it. I am
00:40:07
proud to say, mate, I have an A minus
00:40:10
grade average in philosophy.
00:40:13
I never I go back. I never dreamt I
00:40:17
work. So, my wife will tell you the
00:40:20
amount of research and and writing and
00:40:24
reading that I did that I had to do to
00:40:27
get that grade. [ __ ] I worked my ass
00:40:30
off.
00:40:30
>> Yeah. So, you you're starting at a lower
00:40:32
entry point, so you have to work harder
00:40:33
than other people. I I loved the answer
00:40:35
you gave to that to that question
00:40:36
because um I mean most people that cut
00:40:40
cut down to say three days work a week
00:40:41
would do something unproductive with the
00:40:44
extra time like um binge watch Love
00:40:46
Island or I don't know sit on a sit on a
00:40:48
chair at home. But the fact that you're
00:40:50
using it um to fulfill your curiosity
00:40:53
and
00:40:54
>> um it's really cool.
00:40:55
>> Yeah, you you you definitely like walk
00:40:57
the walk and talk the talk.
00:40:59
>> Well, I've been told that constantly,
00:41:01
you know, and I talk about this. I talk
00:41:03
about being congrent and I think that's
00:41:05
important also as a coach. You know, I'm
00:41:08
I'm working with high performance and
00:41:10
I'm demanding of them the very best, but
00:41:12
I need to be demanding that of myself.
00:41:14
Yeah. Especially in those key areas.
00:41:17
>> Is is it um Yeah. What's easier working
00:41:19
with a a high performer or just someone
00:41:22
say like me that just wants their life
00:41:23
to be better. And the reason I ask it's
00:41:24
like high performer I suppose they just
00:41:25
want they want to be the absolute best
00:41:27
in the world. Someone that wants their
00:41:28
life to be better. You just want to be
00:41:29
in like the top 10% of society.
00:41:32
There is no difference.
00:41:33
>> Yeah.
00:41:34
>> And what I mean by that is the
00:41:36
excitement that I have in working with
00:41:38
an individual is the excitement that I
00:41:41
have in working with the individual. I
00:41:43
don't really care if you're just average
00:41:44
Joe or a high performer. I love seeing
00:41:48
people
00:41:50
improve and change. So it it it matters
00:41:53
not to me. M you know if if if one
00:41:55
minute I've got a a UFC fighter and the
00:41:58
next minute I've got a a company
00:41:59
director and the next minute I've got a
00:42:02
you know a 12y old kid it it it doesn't
00:42:05
matter.
00:42:06
>> I just love working with people.
00:42:09
>> Do do you have a good [ __ ] detector?
00:42:11
Like if someone comes to you for their
00:42:13
third, fourth, fifth session and they
00:42:15
say they've been giving it 100%. Can you
00:42:17
tell they've been they haven't been
00:42:18
giving it 100%.
00:42:20
>> I am renowned.
00:42:22
I'm renowned. Uh, I've had so many
00:42:24
people where, put it this way, um, I'm
00:42:28
very good at sniffing out the [ __ ]
00:42:31
Um,
00:42:32
how I start my sessions fundamentally
00:42:35
with an adult, not so much a child, but
00:42:37
I premise it on this. Do you give me
00:42:39
permission to be blunt and honest? So,
00:42:42
if we're if I I won't tolerate that sort
00:42:47
of thing. Now, again, I am not
00:42:50
everyone's cup of tea. I I'll grant you
00:42:53
that. Like some people come to me and
00:42:55
go, "Look, Nath is not really my thing."
00:42:57
And that's okay. It has no reflection on
00:43:02
what I'm doing and how I'm doing it.
00:43:04
It's just like flavors of ice cream,
00:43:07
right?
00:43:07
>> Does Does that hurt your ego even
00:43:08
temporarily when
00:43:09
>> Couldn't give a [ __ ] mate.
00:43:12
>> Seriously, why why why should it?
00:43:16
Because what you got to appreciate,
00:43:17
mate, is that it opens the door for
00:43:19
people that I really want to work with.
00:43:21
If I have to [ __ ] if I'd be triggered
00:43:24
every [ __ ] day, wouldn't I? I I'm not
00:43:27
I I really am. Um
00:43:32
yeah, I think that's part of my style
00:43:35
and and the the thing that I'm really
00:43:37
proud of is I I attract to me what I
00:43:40
what I want. And so, generally, it's
00:43:43
very rare that I have to get to that
00:43:45
point.
00:43:46
Most of my clients come in the the one
00:43:49
thing I ask of my clients is
00:43:51
>> bring in an attitude of curiosity
00:43:55
and energy. You bring that we will have
00:43:58
a magical magical session.
00:44:01
>> If you don't, it's probably best you
00:44:03
[ __ ] off.
00:44:05
>> And I I'll I'll tell you, I'll give you
00:44:06
a little example.
00:44:07
>> That's not the conversation you had with
00:44:09
Lydia K when she was seven and she
00:44:10
walked in your door,
00:44:11
>> right? Lydia, [ __ ] you.
00:44:14
But here's something that's interesting.
00:44:15
I had a conversation and I won't go into
00:44:18
details of who the person is, right? But
00:44:20
I had a an individual who's a high
00:44:23
performer uh well put it this way
00:44:25
potential and we sat down we had a
00:44:29
session we had a little half hour and
00:44:31
had a conversation and I I I sent to
00:44:34
task some some things but what I sense
00:44:37
was um as I said to her look the most
00:44:40
important thing you can bring to these
00:44:42
sessions is an open mind of curiosity.
00:44:44
Anyway,
00:44:46
when I get monotone response with Yeah.
00:44:52
>> Right. So, the scenario is instead of
00:44:55
having a session, I I started getting
00:44:57
freaking clear and and and the mother of
00:45:01
this individual was listening in and I
00:45:04
get an email because I'm basically
00:45:05
saying, "Hey, listen. I don't want to
00:45:07
waste my time and your parents' money,
00:45:08
blah blah blah." And I I I I talked
00:45:11
about what's really important with an
00:45:12
attitude in these sessions.
00:45:14
I got an email from the mother going,
00:45:17
"David, I listened in on that cuz you
00:45:19
weren't aware that I was outside in the
00:45:22
hallway." And I just want to thank you.
00:45:25
Thank you so much for being so blunt and
00:45:29
honest with with this person. Um
00:45:34
I I felt so excited about finally
00:45:38
someone is speaking some truth. Um so
00:45:41
yeah, look, I have a start line.
00:45:42
everyone's cup of tea. But you know, 30
00:45:45
years, Dom, I get results.
00:45:48
>> Results speak. You know what's
00:45:50
interesting? In 30 years, I've never
00:45:51
advertised my business.
00:45:54
>> All my businesses referral.
00:45:57
>> Never ever will you see me online going,
00:45:59
"This is why you should see David Nathy.
00:46:03
[ __ ] that." You know, my clients and my
00:46:06
results speak for themselves. So, I have
00:46:08
a I I mean, I'm already booked out to
00:46:10
March. Well, fundamentally there's a few
00:46:12
gaps, but I I'm booked out weeks and
00:46:15
weeks in advance, and it's been like
00:46:17
that for 30 years, mate. It's pretty
00:46:19
cool.
00:46:20
>> How good.
00:46:20
>> Yeah.
00:46:21
>> Um, I answer some questions here. So,
00:46:23
okay, these are kind of random. Um,
00:46:26
>> how do I stop negotiating with myself
00:46:28
every time things get hard?
00:46:33
>> You cannot change anything you don't
00:46:35
first recognize. So, recognize the
00:46:37
pattern. Now again, sometimes there's no
00:46:42
true answer.
00:46:44
Think about this in leadership because
00:46:46
people say to me, "Leadership's about
00:46:47
making a good decision." And I say,
00:46:49
"Yep, to a certain point, but we could
00:46:53
agree that there a number of decisions
00:46:55
are just as favorable." So
00:46:57
fundamentally,
00:46:59
it's not so much about making the right
00:47:01
decision. Fundamentally, it's about
00:47:03
making a decision.
00:47:06
>> Yeah, I agree. Make the decision, then
00:47:07
make it the right decision.
00:47:08
>> And if if you have to pivot, you pivot,
00:47:11
but make a [ __ ] decision. Be
00:47:13
decisive. Be assertive.
00:47:16
>> My inner voice is brutal. How do I shut
00:47:18
it up without lying to myself?
00:47:23
My inner voice is brutal.
00:47:26
I would say, mind your language.
00:47:30
Think how they've just presented that.
00:47:32
>> My inner voice is brutal. How the [ __ ]
00:47:34
does that help? What do you intend? What
00:47:36
do you want to do? And again, based on
00:47:38
the premise that we've been given the
00:47:39
gift of life, right? So, we exist. Do
00:47:41
you want to exist through life or do you
00:47:43
want to get as much out of life before
00:47:46
you know that your inevitable thing is
00:47:48
you're going to die?
00:47:49
>> So, again, go back to the basic premise.
00:47:53
[ __ ]
00:47:54
>> And yes, be more self-supportive.
00:47:57
Mind your [ __ ] language. I mean,
00:48:00
think about brutal
00:48:02
for [ __ ] sake, man.
00:48:04
But I'm uh you've got you've got no
00:48:06
sympathy, but I sort of sympathize with
00:48:08
that person because I sort of find it
00:48:10
like
00:48:11
>> I don't give a [ __ ]
00:48:13
>> But is is it about when you when you
00:48:16
hear yourself um like talking negatively
00:48:18
to yourself like just putting the
00:48:20
handbrake on and and
00:48:22
>> does that language contribute or
00:48:25
contaminate the essence of who I am? You
00:48:28
answer that question based on what you
00:48:30
just said is brutal. So let's say it's
00:48:33
brutal selft talk
00:48:35
>> if you want to surrender to that that's
00:48:38
your [ __ ] choice but fundamentally
00:48:41
life's about making good choices e would
00:48:43
you agree it's a good choice to be a
00:48:45
little bit more self-sported and as I
00:48:47
said to you
00:48:48
>> preserve the learnings disassociate the
00:48:52
negative emotions because again the
00:48:54
brain will [ __ ] lie to you we get
00:48:56
emotioned all the time but again we got
00:48:58
to reason this
00:49:00
>> but some of the some of the absolute
00:49:01
best in the world that you work with
00:49:03
like the um the Breakers in 2015, 2016,
00:49:06
Israel Adisagna, you know, UFC Hall of
00:49:09
Famer Lydia Co, world's best golfer.
00:49:11
>> They've they've got to be talking tough
00:49:14
to themselves sometimes, don't they? To
00:49:15
to push themselves to be better.
00:49:17
>> Absolutely. But the thing, what's the
00:49:18
intention behind it? By pushing
00:49:20
themselves to get better. So, what is
00:49:22
their intention is to get better. I
00:49:24
mean, I'm the same in the gym. I'm never
00:49:26
satisfied. I want to be the strongest
00:49:28
mother. Beep in the gym. I don't know
00:49:29
why. Why did you sell? I
00:49:31
>> beat that.
00:49:32
>> Too late.
00:49:33
>> [ __ ] You want to talk to David Ney
00:49:34
about that? Um, so so but but it's got a
00:49:38
loving intention.
00:49:41
Again, it's the difference between those
00:49:43
thoughts. They either contribute or
00:49:45
contaminate. So it's again becoming
00:49:47
self-aware of it.
00:49:50
>> What's one unglamorous habit that
00:49:52
consistently separates people who
00:49:54
improve from those who stay stuck?
00:50:00
habit.
00:50:02
Well, I think the key word here is
00:50:04
habit. So, the difference between the
00:50:06
two are the habitual behaviors they
00:50:08
display on an ongoing basis.
00:50:11
>> Yeah. Bottom line, we behave our way to
00:50:14
success.
00:50:16
>> I overthink everything. How do I get out
00:50:18
of my own head?
00:50:20
>> How do you how
00:50:23
>> he's off he's off the leash. Okay,
00:50:27
I'm going to go out for a couple of
00:50:28
minutes. You got
00:50:29
>> [ __ ] me. Okay,
00:50:32
so first and foremost,
00:50:35
here's what I would premise it with,
00:50:36
right?
00:50:40
How do you know you're overthinking?
00:50:43
>> H
00:50:45
compared to what? Do you have access to
00:50:48
my mind?
00:50:49
>> No.
00:50:50
>> So, you wouldn't know if I'm
00:50:51
overthinking or underthinking. But you
00:50:53
would know if you're overthinking or
00:50:54
underthinking.
00:50:56
>> Yeah. Okay. So, if you're overthinking,
00:50:58
explain to me what overthinking is.
00:51:03
>> Well, it's just it is it is what it is.
00:51:05
It's just I suppose overthinking or get
00:51:07
getting in your own head or
00:51:08
>> Okay, so here's the thing. The
00:51:11
overthinking in of itself,
00:51:14
does it contribute or contaminate? Okay.
00:51:17
So, we know potentially then that it's
00:51:21
contaminating. Okay. So, we can then go
00:51:25
or what is the conversation that I'm
00:51:26
having? What what what how do I how do I
00:51:30
change that? And if I'm overthinking
00:51:33
what I do know is what is it that I
00:51:36
intend? So, let's put this into the
00:51:38
context of
00:51:40
ideally in in athletic terms flow state,
00:51:44
right? Um, and to again
00:51:48
the intention behind the overthinking
00:51:51
could be loving because you know you
00:51:53
really want to improve. But what you do
00:51:56
know is that ideally we've got a frame
00:51:58
of reference. We know we're aware that
00:52:00
we're overthinking. We want to get back
00:52:02
into flow state. So how do we best
00:52:04
override that? Well, one of the best
00:52:06
ways to do that is to recognize that I'm
00:52:09
overthinking. And again, that thinking
00:52:11
in of itself is normally attached to
00:52:14
feelings. which is then reflected in
00:52:17
physiology,
00:52:18
right? So again, you overthink uh and
00:52:21
and you're stressed, right? So what's
00:52:23
your physiology like you? You know,
00:52:27
>> so one of the best ways to hack it is to
00:52:30
recognize it and then change the
00:52:32
physiology. So think about this.
00:52:36
We have out of 100% of communication, we
00:52:39
have words, we have tone, and we have
00:52:41
physiology.
00:52:42
The one that makes the biggest bang for
00:52:44
buck only 7% of communication is words.
00:52:48
The rest is uh tonality and physiology
00:52:52
based on right. Okay.
00:52:54
>> So if I'm going to attack, do I go do I
00:52:57
need to change the language or more
00:52:58
importantly hack the physiology? Think
00:53:01
about this. We tend to have a physiology
00:53:04
when we're sort of overthinking, right?
00:53:08
So, one of the best things you do to
00:53:10
help deal with that and I'm talking in
00:53:12
the context of a moment where you got to
00:53:14
perform, right? I'm not talking about at
00:53:16
home on the couch, right? Um, in that
00:53:18
moment, this is when I talk about you
00:53:20
can anchor into state. So, changing
00:53:22
physiology. So, I'd encourage act as if
00:53:24
you did know because the contamination
00:53:29
uh can
00:53:32
can have an impact on your physiology
00:53:34
and your commitment to what it is that
00:53:36
you want to achieve. Right? So, act as
00:53:38
if. So, people go, "Well, if if if you
00:53:41
didn't know, I want you to act as if you
00:53:43
did know." And and I have this with
00:53:46
clients when they go, "Well, how do you
00:53:48
show me without verbalizing that you
00:53:50
know?" What's the first thing they do?
00:53:52
Well, I changed my physiology. So,
00:53:56
again, it's
00:53:58
it's being consciously aware and then
00:54:01
deploying strategies that are
00:54:02
supportive. Uh the analysis could be
00:54:05
done after the game, for instance, and
00:54:07
you can look at what I need to improve
00:54:08
on. Then you can start programming to
00:54:10
make improvement. But in that moment,
00:54:12
it's about fundamentally staying in the
00:54:15
zone. So, there's three simple states.
00:54:18
And uh so stage one is is just being
00:54:22
calm. Right now
00:54:25
I'm all for being calm under pressure,
00:54:28
but I I I would say that what's probably
00:54:32
even more important is to in the
00:54:34
contents of sport or business is to stay
00:54:38
assertive under pressure because you
00:54:41
know you have to be assertive with your
00:54:43
decision- making. I mean it's it's nice
00:54:45
to be really calm but again at the end
00:54:47
of the day it's about asserting yourself
00:54:49
into that environment whether it's
00:54:51
playing or whatever. So calm and that's
00:54:54
when I talk about four five slow. So
00:54:56
breathe in for four through the nose,
00:54:58
hold for five, out slowly. That helps
00:55:02
change the neurology, right? So the
00:55:05
neurobiology in the brain, the
00:55:06
cortisone, etc. is then replaced with
00:55:09
serotonin, dopamine, etc., etc. Okay,
00:55:12
we're in a better calmer state because
00:55:14
we can't make good decisions when we're
00:55:16
emotional. The next, we know we talked
00:55:19
about the child is blissfully happy.
00:55:22
I'll guarantee you your best athletes
00:55:24
when they absolutely love the game, they
00:55:27
tend to shine.
00:55:28
>> You know, I just love it. I mean, for
00:55:31
you, you know, when you're running that
00:55:33
that Sydney marathon, even though it
00:55:35
must have been [ __ ] challenging and
00:55:37
painful, there must have been a real
00:55:39
sense of satisfaction and going, you
00:55:41
know, I chose to do I'm [ __ ] proud of
00:55:44
myself. I'm loving this. And then and
00:55:46
the last one for me is sometimes when
00:55:48
you need some help is disassociate and
00:55:50
borrow resources. So what I talk about
00:55:52
that is the urban mch. Do you know what
00:55:54
I mean? That alter ego. And for me like
00:55:57
I remember one of my my athletes was
00:56:00
really didn't have that supportive
00:56:02
negative and had a lot of negative selft
00:56:04
talk and a guy called Adam was the coach
00:56:07
and he contacted me and said like you
00:56:09
got to we got to do something because
00:56:11
we're about to go comwalth games. help
00:56:13
this help me to help her. Um,
00:56:18
and uh, her name was and she'll be very
00:56:22
h happy to to mention it, but her name
00:56:25
was Tracy Lamberts. This is going back
00:56:26
to the Commonwealth Games and [ __ ] man.
00:56:30
We we we she anchored into this lioness,
00:56:33
right? Because originally she was from
00:56:35
South Africa. She anchored into that and
00:56:38
I said, I want you just to act as if.
00:56:40
So, kids are good at it, eh? Adults wear
00:56:43
[ __ ] You know, we're embarrassed about
00:56:44
it. But kids, when you were a kid and
00:56:46
you got a piece of wood, it became a
00:56:49
sword, a rifle, came, right? Your
00:56:51
imagination, right? So, we anchored into
00:56:54
this that alter ego. Israel did it
00:56:58
beautifully into style bender, right?
00:57:01
And what it does is that you change the
00:57:04
physiology so that there's less
00:57:06
probability of negative self-t talk to
00:57:09
pollute and and and to sabotage your
00:57:12
performance. Um so between those three
00:57:16
you you you whatever's necessary in the
00:57:18
contents of the requirement. Um for me I
00:57:23
I used to talk about the bull. So when I
00:57:25
was doing strongman I never competed as
00:57:27
David Neathy. David Neathy was a mere
00:57:30
mortal. But when I was a 10,000 kg bull,
00:57:33
not mere mortal and I'm a human being,
00:57:37
right? So I'm limited. But when I became
00:57:39
a 10,000 kg bull, holy [ __ ] man. I'd go
00:57:42
on there and I used to I used to freak
00:57:45
out under the, you know, in the
00:57:48
powerlifting. I would always have this
00:57:51
nervous system response and initially
00:57:53
taking out the bench for instance. And
00:57:55
you know the first thought I'd have,
00:57:58
they've misloaded the bar. It's too
00:57:59
light.
00:58:03
And what it does then, my absolute
00:58:06
conviction in knowing that I will finish
00:58:09
this lift. I have done all that I can
00:58:13
in alignment to bring forth the best
00:58:16
version of me in that moment.
00:58:18
>> That's majestic.
00:58:20
>> Yeah, the alter ego thing is
00:58:22
interesting. We talked about this a
00:58:23
little bit last time on the podcast. Um
00:58:24
and there's there's other examples too
00:58:26
like um Kobe Bryant was the black
00:58:28
member. Um even Beyonce, she's got a
00:58:31
stage presence. Sasha Pierce.
00:58:33
>> Absolutely.
00:58:34
>> And again,
00:58:34
>> but it see it seems um like a lot of
00:58:36
adults listening to this think I'm I'm
00:58:38
this this just seems weird.
00:58:40
>> I don't see her [ __ ] I'm not here to
00:58:42
[ __ ] I don't give a [ __ ]
00:58:45
Again, you know me, Dom. I don't I'm not
00:58:48
here to preach and say you should be. I
00:58:50
mean, if you don't want to [ __ ]
00:58:51
believe it, then don't [ __ ] believe
00:58:53
it. uh in the contents of what I do with
00:58:55
a [ __ ] client at that time to get
00:58:57
them the very best. This is what I've
00:58:58
done and I've got the [ __ ] track
00:58:59
record to prove it. So, [ __ ] up.
00:59:02
>> Okay. If if someone wanted to like start
00:59:04
next Monday, um what what could they why
00:59:07
not next Monday? Why not now?
00:59:09
>> Okay. If someone want to start today,
00:59:10
>> now's good.
00:59:11
>> What What can anyone uh doing uh
00:59:14
listening to this do in the next week to
00:59:16
set themselves up for a great 2026?
00:59:18
>> Well, maybe start with some pondering.
00:59:21
What is it? And again, sometimes it's
00:59:23
not so much about I know what I want as
00:59:26
it is I know what I don't want. What
00:59:28
don't you want? Well, I don't want to be
00:59:30
[ __ ] struggling financially.
00:59:33
>> I'm [ __ ] over this. I know for me,
00:59:36
again, I go back to the quality of your
00:59:38
life and the quality of your performance
00:59:40
is directly related to the quality of
00:59:43
the questions you ask of yourself and
00:59:46
qualified others. not the man on the
00:59:48
street about finances who's got his cup
00:59:50
out
00:59:52
for [ __ ] sake.
00:59:53
>> So again, maybe start with identifying
00:59:57
what it is that you don't want and then
01:00:00
what's the opposite of that and what is
01:00:02
it that I need to do? I mean, for me, I
01:00:05
I'm really proud of the fact that I I've
01:00:07
set myself up financially. That's why I
01:00:10
can only I I only have to do three days
01:00:12
a week. I've I've invested well and and
01:00:15
whatnot. Um, but the key to that and
01:00:19
maybe we we could pivot off this three
01:00:22
steps to greatness by a wonderful man
01:00:25
called Jim Ran who I he was my idol back
01:00:28
in the in the in the ' 90s. Um, I did I
01:00:32
tell you I've got a photo with Jim and
01:00:35
I've shared the I'm just saying. Anyway,
01:00:38
Jim Ran, three steps to greatness,
01:00:40
right? Number one, set goals. We've
01:00:43
discussed the smart test, the vision
01:00:44
board, blah blah blah. Okay. The second,
01:00:47
educate yourself.
01:00:49
And three, have a financial plan.
01:00:53
Um, educate. I I'll tell you now,
01:00:58
education by definition, all right,
01:01:00
>> that's very broad. It doesn't mean to
01:01:02
say you have to get a degree in
01:01:04
neuroscience,
01:01:05
but educate yourself in becoming the
01:01:08
best version of yourself. What did I say
01:01:11
earlier? You are the most majestic
01:01:14
project you'll ever work on. You need to
01:01:16
start investing into yourself because
01:01:20
what is the definition of insanity is
01:01:23
doing the same thing over and over
01:01:25
expecting a different result. Is it
01:01:27
going to be easy? No, it [ __ ] won't.
01:01:30
It will be tough to be disciplined, to
01:01:34
educate, to read a book. Most people
01:01:37
will [ __ ] and moan while they're having
01:01:39
a wine watching a I was going to say
01:01:42
podcast, but what what was that thing?
01:01:45
Luxury Island or whatever. I mean, well,
01:01:48
don't pretend you don't know.
01:01:49
>> I [ __ ] don't. I don't watch TV, mate.
01:01:52
>> No, that that um quote you said before,
01:01:54
which I think is an Einstein quote about
01:01:55
the definition of madness doing the same
01:01:57
thing. Um that that's why I thought it'd
01:01:59
be a good idea to get you back in at the
01:02:02
beginning of 2026 because I've spoken to
01:02:03
so many people over the last couple of
01:02:04
weeks towards the end of 2025 and the
01:02:07
start of 2026 and everyone says the same
01:02:09
thing, you know, oh let's hope it's a
01:02:11
better year, but it's like if you go
01:02:13
into the year and you don't do anything
01:02:14
different, you're just hoping. Um maybe
01:02:17
you'll get lucky, maybe some good things
01:02:18
will happen e
01:02:20
>> but you need to sort of um help help
01:02:21
yourself a little bit.
01:02:22
>> Well, look, here's the thing.
01:02:25
You know, the wonderful gift that we
01:02:27
have is agency. I believe that we have
01:02:29
free will
01:02:30
>> and we can choose. We can make better
01:02:33
choices. And again, make better choices.
01:02:35
Again, like I said, you you got to sit
01:02:37
down and sometimes you got to be blunt
01:02:39
and honest with yourself because most
01:02:41
people put more time and effort into
01:02:44
[ __ ] creating and reinforcing their
01:02:46
[ __ ] victim story. I'm over this.
01:02:48
Now, here's the thing, and isn't it
01:02:51
interesting? It's based on that
01:02:52
statement. I hope this year's a better
01:02:54
year. Now, what period of time in the
01:02:57
last century were most millionaires
01:02:59
made?
01:03:01
Apart from the last part with the with
01:03:03
the with the IT age,
01:03:06
what period of time were most
01:03:07
millionaires made?
01:03:10
>> Well, I don't I don't know last year.
01:03:12
>> No, in in the 19th century. So, so 1800
01:03:15
to 1900. In that period, what period of
01:03:20
time were most millionaires made? Now
01:03:21
towards the end of the '90s we had the
01:03:23
IT right
01:03:25
>> windows and that was all. So that really
01:03:27
took off
01:03:28
>> but the only the other period was during
01:03:30
the great depression
01:03:32
>> 1930s.
01:03:34
>> Yeah.
01:03:34
>> Yeah.
01:03:35
>> Yeah.
01:03:35
>> 20s30s.
01:03:36
>> Yeah. 20s30s. Right. So during the great
01:03:38
depression where other people were
01:03:40
focusing on doom and gloom others saw
01:03:42
opportunity.
01:03:43
>> And again this is very important
01:03:46
the language and the representation. You
01:03:49
want to speak words of possibility and
01:03:52
opportunity. If you're aware that you're
01:03:55
speaking doom and gloom and you It's
01:03:58
like the [ __ ] CD. You imagine,
01:04:04
you know, that auntie who's always
01:04:05
[ __ ] bitching on. Imagine being in
01:04:08
the car listening to her or as we drive
01:04:09
down to Wellington, you'd be like,
01:04:11
"Fucking kick her out of the car, mate.
01:04:12
[ __ ] her." You know,
01:04:14
>> it's ex being around negative people is
01:04:16
exhausting.
01:04:17
>> Oh my god. I I am very selective of who
01:04:19
I hang out with, right? So the the
01:04:22
important thing is is is is yes, we got
01:04:24
to change physiology, but also [ __ ]
01:04:26
mind your language.
01:04:28
>> How how can you cut negative people from
01:04:30
your life? Say that auntie you're
01:04:31
talking about like
01:04:32
>> Oh, it's very easy.
01:04:33
>> If it's family or even a spouse and and
01:04:36
you want to go on this path of
01:04:37
self-development, self-improvement, like
01:04:40
h how do you remove these? I can
01:04:42
understand someone in your friends
01:04:43
friend group, maybe you can eliminate
01:04:45
them. But if it's family, like what do
01:04:46
you do? Well, it's [ __ ] simple, mate.
01:04:50
You you you limit it. I mean, for [ __ ]
01:04:54
sake. Protect yourself at all times. If
01:04:57
I said to you right now, I'm going to
01:04:59
absolutely allow you your beautiful wife
01:05:03
to be whatever your situ.
01:05:13
>> I would say you'd make a very good
01:05:15
decision.
01:05:16
>> And again, this is where
01:05:20
>> it goes back to that value hierarchy.
01:05:24
Family is number two for me.
01:05:28
>> Freedom is number one. I and and for me
01:05:31
by definition my family I will allow
01:05:34
into my inner circle. If you come in and
01:05:38
contaminate, I will tell you to [ __ ]
01:05:40
off.
01:05:41
>> We teach people how to treat us. So you
01:05:44
come into my house and you [ __ ]
01:05:45
disrespect it. If I went into your flat
01:05:48
and had a [ __ ] on your lounge, you would
01:05:50
lose the [ __ ] plot and tell me to
01:05:52
piss off,
01:05:54
>> right,
01:05:54
>> Dave? This is your last time.
01:05:56
>> I know.
01:05:57
>> I'm sorry. I've got a di I've got a
01:05:59
diaper on now. But here's the thing. You
01:06:02
would not tolerate that.
01:06:04
>> We teach people how to treat us.
01:06:07
>> Seems like there's been like just a like
01:06:09
a a few very very basic points. Yeah.
01:06:12
That have been recurring in this chat. M
01:06:14
>> the um contaminate or contribute that's
01:06:16
come up a lot.
01:06:17
>> Yeah.
01:06:17
>> Which says to me how important it is.
01:06:19
>> It really you need to be aware. I mean
01:06:21
and again this is where I get all these
01:06:25
I think the worst device is this and
01:06:28
it's also the best device.
01:06:30
>> Um and I think really what it comes down
01:06:32
to is learning how to manage it.
01:06:34
I I think you can be I I think it we get
01:06:38
to a point especially when you think
01:06:40
about media uh online and a lot of it is
01:06:43
negative orientated because it's all
01:06:45
clickbait right
01:06:46
>> and again it it it's it's a sometimes we
01:06:50
we can get so misled with misinformation
01:06:54
and disinformation.
01:06:57
Uh, and we we we live it in an extended
01:07:00
world and mate,
01:07:03
you're you're
01:07:05
sometimes you just got to look what can
01:07:07
I control? I can't control what's
01:07:09
happening around the world, but I can
01:07:11
sure as hell make sure that my kids, my
01:07:14
wife, my family are living a blissful
01:07:17
life as best they can. It's inevitable
01:07:19
they're going to have challenges, but
01:07:21
yeah, I want to make sure that I want to
01:07:24
tidy my room, so to speak.
01:07:27
Yeah, I love that. Yeah. Make sure your
01:07:28
own house is in order and then you can
01:07:30
worry about your neighborhood. And
01:07:32
>> I think it's a copout because people
01:07:34
spend more time and then you you look at
01:07:36
their lives and I'm going mate I I I am
01:07:39
very I am very weary. If for instance
01:07:42
for me I I want to be a contributor
01:07:44
right? So when I go into the gym I want
01:07:47
to radiate some energy. And you know,
01:07:50
generally what happens at the gym I'm
01:07:52
at, the moment I walk in, the music
01:07:54
changes cuz I know what I like, right?
01:07:56
But I I I I love to encourage people,
01:08:00
complete strangers. I just want to see
01:08:03
them thrive and I'll I I'll acknowledge
01:08:06
it. The biggest need of an individual is
01:08:09
simply to be affirmed and acknowledged.
01:08:11
>> And if you haven't got anything nice to
01:08:13
say,
01:08:14
>> shut the [ __ ] up.
01:08:15
>> Don't be a contaminator. Look, there are
01:08:18
times when
01:08:21
I will pull people out on their [ __ ]
01:08:23
story, but only if they have given me
01:08:27
permission to do so. Um, if you're in a
01:08:30
group and you're a contaminator, you I
01:08:32
will pull you out. But if people are
01:08:34
going to go away and and bitchimone, I
01:08:37
[ __ ] just not just I don't care.
01:08:40
>> What's an example of a [ __ ] story?
01:08:42
Uh, you know, when someone comes in, uh,
01:08:46
it'll go, "Oh, fuck." You know, it's so
01:08:49
[ __ ] hard out there. And, you know,
01:08:51
it's it's sort of they they they bring
01:08:53
and they start to contaminate. I mean,
01:08:55
the government the government [ __ ] my
01:08:56
business.
01:08:57
>> Oh, yeah. [ __ ] Yeah. Whether it's
01:08:59
Labor or National, they're all [ __ ]
01:09:01
useless. I mean, look, here's the thing.
01:09:05
>> Why are you at the gym?
01:09:08
The gym, as far as I'm concerned, is
01:09:10
sacred ground. That is for you when
01:09:13
you're running. It's sacred ground. E, I
01:09:15
mean, it moves, but that is where
01:09:20
you [ __ ] probably feel at your best.
01:09:22
I love being in the gym, mate. And I
01:09:25
want to ensure that I protect myself in
01:09:27
that environment. You know what I mean?
01:09:29
I want people in there that are
01:09:31
inspiring each other, hitting people. I
01:09:34
I actually stopped. I You get these
01:09:36
young lads and they're pulling up a a
01:09:39
140k deft, you know, they're 16 and I'm
01:09:43
going [ __ ] brilliant, boys. That is
01:09:46
[ __ ] brilliant. And next thing you
01:09:47
know, they're asking me about my journey
01:09:49
and and they're asking about how do they
01:09:51
improve and I go, "Look, I'm not a PT,
01:09:53
but I'll tell you this now.
01:09:55
>> Just keep doing what you're doing, mate.
01:09:57
Just fall in love with it. I mean, go
01:10:00
back to what I talked about. Be that
01:10:02
kid. M
01:10:03
>> be that curious kid, man.
01:10:05
>> I love that attitude. It's It's Yeah,
01:10:07
don't be a hater, be a celebrator.
01:10:10
>> Do you What What is your um personal
01:10:12
experience or thoughts on tall poppy
01:10:14
syndrome?
01:10:16
>> You know, tearing people down rather
01:10:17
than trying to bring them up.
01:10:21
>> I think people that tear them down
01:10:24
really showcase just how weak they are.
01:10:26
M
01:10:29
>> I'm not interested in hanging around
01:10:31
with weak people,
01:10:32
>> with weak minds. Um I want to celebrate
01:10:37
success. Uh as he said it, you know,
01:10:39
when I win, we all win. He's so right.
01:10:42
>> You know, you know, you know, we go back
01:10:46
to um current situation with the All
01:10:48
Black coach. Um, not that I want to go
01:10:51
deep into that, but um, you know, it
01:10:55
it's
01:10:56
it's interesting how everyone's got an
01:10:58
opinion, but I would say,
01:11:01
have you walked a mile in his shoes?
01:11:04
You know, these guys that get to the
01:11:07
ultimate of coaching the greatest rugby
01:11:11
union team in the world,
01:11:14
whether it's a season, 12 seasons,
01:11:17
whatever, that is one hell of an
01:11:19
achievement, isn't it?
01:11:21
>> Do you know what I mean?
01:11:22
>> Yeah. You if you aim big for anything,
01:11:25
there's al there's the risk of big
01:11:26
disappointment as well.
01:11:27
>> Yep. And that unfortunately is has to be
01:11:31
accepted.
01:11:32
>> Yeah. You got to grow big hairy bulls. I
01:11:34
I I still to this day remember the first
01:11:37
time I talked in front of a group and I
01:11:39
absolutely shhat myself and and and
01:11:42
again we talked about you know
01:11:44
>> um I needed I knew that on the other
01:11:49
side of fear is a better version of me.
01:11:52
every nerve in my system was going [ __ ]
01:11:54
don't man it's
01:11:58
>> but you you push through that
01:12:01
I I talked about the
01:12:03
>> excuse me the the um the story of the
01:12:06
buffalo and the
01:12:07
>> coway
01:12:08
>> and I think it's so beautiful
01:12:12
I told you the story would you like to
01:12:13
know the story
01:12:14
>> I think you said the was this the camel
01:12:16
>> so when so so the the the the the story
01:12:19
of the cow and the buffalo and plains of
01:12:22
Montana, wherever it is in America, and
01:12:24
you can see for miles and you can see
01:12:26
the storm coming. And as the storm gets
01:12:30
closer, the cow turns around and runs
01:12:32
away. The buffalo turns towards the
01:12:34
storm and runs towards it. Now, here's
01:12:37
the thing. Who spends more time in the
01:12:39
storm? The cow. Cow can't run a storm.
01:12:44
>> The buffalo faces it pushes through it.
01:12:48
So, it's a great metaphor for life.
01:12:50
Where fear lies, there lies your task.
01:12:53
And that's something that I have always,
01:12:56
you know, for me, whether it's uh being
01:12:58
fearful of being under a, you know, 180k
01:13:02
bench when I was almost 50. It scared
01:13:04
the [ __ ] out of me, but I knew that's
01:13:06
when I'm most alive, right?
01:13:09
>> Uh, academia. My first ever essay, I was
01:13:14
50 years of age. I submitted my first
01:13:17
ever essay for university.
01:13:21
To this day, it's one of the very rare
01:13:23
moments that I actually cried
01:13:27
because I was waiting for that result. I
01:13:30
was [ __ ] myself. I've never written
01:13:33
an essay.
01:13:34
>> Oh, you cried before the results?
01:13:36
>> I c I'm wait I'm No, I got the result
01:13:38
and I started crying.
01:13:39
>> Oh, like tears of pride. Tear tears of
01:13:43
more tears of pride in the sense that I
01:13:46
had overcome a [ __ ] story that I had
01:13:51
believed for many many years.
01:13:55
That
01:13:57
that's the essence of life. The
01:13:59
overcoming
01:14:00
>> that that was probably one of the
01:14:03
proudest moments.
01:14:06
My proudest moment last year was seeing
01:14:09
my son go up on stage to get his PGA
01:14:11
professional certificate. Wow.
01:14:13
>> That was so cool.
01:14:14
>> Did you cry then?
01:14:16
>> No. For trying hard not to though, mate.
01:14:18
I'm in a group of people. You know what
01:14:20
I mean? Oh, there's Dave. It's his dad.
01:14:22
He's a high performance coach.
01:14:25
>> Oh, what's wrong with that though?
01:14:26
>> I know. I I I did get emotional. I I am
01:14:29
seriously mate. I'm I'm I was wiping
01:14:32
tears, mate. I was so proud of him.
01:14:35
>> Yeah.
01:14:36
>> Yeah.
01:14:36
>> Um sh this is a great chat. I always
01:14:38
feel so inspired when you come in.
01:14:40
>> Oh, thanks mate.
01:14:41
>> Yeah, just a couple more. Um I feel
01:14:44
guilty prioritizing myself. How do I get
01:14:46
over that?
01:14:47
>> Give yourself permission.
01:14:48
>> Yeah,
01:14:49
>> great affirmation. I give myself
01:14:51
permission.
01:14:52
>> You know, again, that is the most loving
01:14:55
thing you could possibly do is to put
01:14:57
yourself first. Now, I think we're sort
01:14:59
of brought up with this altruistic
01:15:01
mindset. you you've got to be of service
01:15:03
to others. Um I I just don't think
01:15:06
that's that's robbing you as an
01:15:10
individual. I mean, I feel, you know, I
01:15:12
I I'm going to share something that I'
01:15:13
I've really don't share very often, Dom,
01:15:16
and I think and it's not because I want
01:15:18
to blow my trumpet, but it's something
01:15:20
that I think needs to be said because
01:15:22
it's really important and congruent with
01:15:23
what we're talking. I pride myself Joe
01:15:26
and I sat down and I've been doing this
01:15:29
30 years.
01:15:31
I have um
01:15:34
gift back free coaching and seminars
01:15:38
to the tune of over $1.5 million
01:15:43
>> if you added up all my seminars in my
01:15:46
hourly rate. I I love giving back, but I
01:15:50
can only give back because I am in that
01:15:52
position that I can.
01:15:55
>> You know, you've got to you know what
01:15:56
they say, pay yourself first, man.
01:16:00
Hey, I got some questions that are Dave
01:16:02
Ne specific.
01:16:03
>> Oh.
01:16:03
>> Um,
01:16:05
what's the biggest mistake you've ever
01:16:06
made?
01:16:10
>> [ __ ]
01:16:16
>> Running through the catalog of
01:16:17
>> [ __ ] hell, man. No, I I really
01:16:20
struggle here. I I think the biggest
01:16:21
mistake that I made was believing the
01:16:25
[ __ ] belief system that I held in my
01:16:29
teens.
01:16:30
>> Mhm.
01:16:31
>> That narrative that I'm not that bright.
01:16:33
I I I I I reflect now that it was
01:16:37
justified because I was vulnerable in
01:16:39
the feedback that I got from peers were
01:16:41
saying that I was. And in actual fact,
01:16:44
I've realized now that they were wrong.
01:16:47
Mhm.
01:16:48
>> I I'm dyslexic and I have a superpower,
01:16:51
>> so [ __ ] him.
01:16:53
>> You did, if you dwell on that too long,
01:16:55
does it make you sad thinking about that
01:16:56
kid, that skinny, scared kid?
01:16:58
>> No, I'm proud of I'm proud of him
01:17:00
because look look again, I I don't dwell
01:17:04
that much. I, you know, I'm I'm sort of
01:17:06
forward thinking, mate. You know, I'm
01:17:08
I'm excited about the next couple of
01:17:10
weeks and the years and whatnot. So, I
01:17:12
don't I mean, occasionally I ponder, but
01:17:14
[ __ ] man. It's who it's understanding
01:17:16
this. It's it's a constant becoming.
01:17:21
It's not just that is
01:17:23
>> you know we are constantly evolving
01:17:26
every day physically mentally you know
01:17:28
what I mean so it's a you know was it
01:17:33
Heraclitus said you can never step in
01:17:37
the same river twice it's because it's
01:17:39
forever of flowing and that's so
01:17:42
beautiful it's constantly flowing. M
01:17:45
>> when when do you think you've been your
01:17:47
happiest?
01:17:48
>> Oh, there's there's a couple of I mean
01:17:52
I'm happy every day really, mate. I mean
01:17:54
I I'm happy when I wake up uh and I sit
01:17:57
down with my wife and have breakfast
01:17:59
because I didn't have the alarm go. M um
01:18:02
I'm happiest. Uh I still remember um the
01:18:07
Oh, I'm going to have to be really
01:18:08
careful here cuz I'm going to get
01:18:10
emotional, but I still remember at
01:18:13
Wesley College getting married
01:18:17
and my heart burst when Joe walked down
01:18:21
that. That was
01:18:25
[ __ ] majestic. That was
01:18:29
the a massive catalyst for the rest of
01:18:32
my life.
01:18:33
>> That moment I think one of the best
01:18:34
decisions I ever made was asking her to
01:18:36
marry me.
01:18:37
>> How long you been married now?
01:18:38
>> We're coming up 30 years.
01:18:41
>> Says a lot that you I mean your eyes are
01:18:44
starting to get a little glazed. It says
01:18:45
a lot that you get emotional about her
01:18:47
uh 30 years on.
01:18:50
>> The the um the presentation style that
01:18:52
you've got on stage and in podcasts like
01:18:54
this. Yep.
01:18:54
>> Um, do you talk like that at home?
01:18:57
>> Yeah,
01:18:57
>> you do.
01:18:58
>> I am congruent, man. I I talk like this
01:19:00
at home. I talk like this at the gym. I
01:19:02
talk like this with my mates. Uh, what
01:19:04
you get this is not me faking it to
01:19:08
mate. I I I am me. You know what I mean?
01:19:11
And and and like I said, I I I'm proud
01:19:12
of me. And if you don't like me, [ __ ]
01:19:14
you.
01:19:15
>> I don't care. I I really don't care.
01:19:17
>> And it's a sense of freedom.
01:19:20
>> I can be me. And I and and I know that
01:19:24
generally I I'm a I'm a good man. I I I
01:19:27
love to help people, but I I will not
01:19:29
suffer falls and I certainly won't
01:19:32
tolerate certain things.
01:19:35
>> Yeah. I love that so much. Some I heard
01:19:37
on a podcast um I was listening to over
01:19:38
summer um can you name your great
01:19:41
great-grandparents like their their
01:19:43
Christian names? And you think that was
01:19:45
only like three generations ago. So you
01:19:47
got your parents, your grandparents, and
01:19:48
your great-grandparents. And the point
01:19:49
they were making is none of it [ __ ]
01:19:51
matters. Like no one's going to be
01:19:53
remembered long term. So live your life
01:19:55
for you and just enjoy it and do the
01:19:57
best and make the most of it.
01:19:58
>> Edith Barl Fry.
01:20:01
>> Oh, you do know.
01:20:02
>> Uh
01:20:03
>> you recently done an ancestry.com.
01:20:06
>> No, no. Um and the reason why I say that
01:20:10
um is I think I think there's some
01:20:14
richness in history. In fact, one of the
01:20:16
areas that I really want to go into is
01:20:18
history. I I I love it. I'm very
01:20:21
blessed. I've got a good mate of mine
01:20:23
who is uh uh one of the fellows at the
01:20:27
New South Wales University. Um was an
01:20:29
old client of mine, Matt Burchell, and
01:20:32
he's a historian. Um we get on the two
01:20:37
of us talk history,
01:20:40
uh political history, political
01:20:42
philosophy.
01:20:44
See, for me, I love rich conversations.
01:20:48
I thrive for that. You know, when I
01:20:49
talked about, you know, my Friday
01:20:51
breakfast of champions, I sit down with
01:20:53
with people because that is far more
01:20:57
important than oh my god, online
01:20:59
[ __ ] You know what I mean? And I
01:21:01
think I think people have lost I mean
01:21:04
and I actually sit down in some cases
01:21:06
debate. You know, I like a good
01:21:08
argument, but it's done respectfully.
01:21:10
I've got some beautiful people that have
01:21:12
different belief systems to me and we
01:21:15
can sit down and debate things
01:21:17
beautifully without getting emotional
01:21:19
and and and and and throwing you know
01:21:22
abuse at each other. I think that's
01:21:24
what's lacking I think to
01:21:26
>> oh 100 in this world.
01:21:27
>> Yeah. in in a healthy democratic society
01:21:30
that that is what's missing. It feels
01:21:31
like you're at a point now if someone um
01:21:33
>> happens to like Trump and the other
01:21:35
person doesn't. It's like we we we can't
01:21:37
even have a conversation about
01:21:38
>> we can't be friends.
01:21:39
>> But if you don't talk these things
01:21:40
through, then you're not getting
01:21:42
>> the art of discourse
01:21:44
>> again is anchored in freedom, isn't it?
01:21:47
>> Freedom of speech, freedom. This is how
01:21:50
ideas are born through dialogue.
01:21:56
What would you say? Maybe this is a
01:21:59
better question for Joe, your wife of 30
01:22:00
years to answer, but give it a go. What
01:22:02
would you say your best and worst habits
01:22:04
are?
01:22:05
>> Um, I can be my best obviously my
01:22:09
personal and who I am. I I like to think
01:22:12
I'm I'm pretty funny, too, right? So,
01:22:14
Joe loves a good laugh, right? But at
01:22:17
the same time, I'm a very stubborn prick
01:22:20
at times,
01:22:22
right? That's not going to shock anyone.
01:22:25
>> Here's something that's interesting,
01:22:27
right? Cuz I people say you this is what
01:22:30
you're doing. You you love your wife. It
01:22:31
must be utopia. I'm going are you
01:22:34
[ __ ] ser? I argue every day with my
01:22:36
wife.
01:22:37
>> We argue every day. But again, we argue.
01:22:42
But the the the foundation is she knows
01:22:46
>> that I absolutely adore her and love
01:22:49
her. And we always anchor back to that.
01:22:52
M
01:22:53
>> you know we're very quick to forgive
01:22:56
because we we truly understand that
01:23:00
together we're we're a superpower.
01:23:04
>> Do you have regrets?
01:23:05
>> Regrets?
01:23:06
>> Yeah.
01:23:06
>> Getting that tattooed on my back.
01:23:11
>> I don't I don't you know I I think
01:23:13
>> you asked me this last time. I I don't
01:23:15
really have any regs. I really don't. I
01:23:18
I think
01:23:18
>> Are you just good at drawing a line in
01:23:20
the sand and moving on? I just think I
01:23:22
think isn't life about
01:23:26
experience? Isn't experience one of the
01:23:29
inevitable teachers that we're going to
01:23:32
endure as we go on our path through
01:23:34
life?
01:23:35
>> [ __ ] I I made dumb decisions. I made
01:23:37
good decisions. I've had a good
01:23:39
experiences and bad experience.
01:23:41
>> That's the richness of life.
01:23:45
>> What are you most afraid of?
01:23:47
>> My wife.
01:23:51
Um, uh, look,
01:23:55
I'm really not, yeah, again, I I just
01:23:58
don't I I I I really struggle to answer
01:24:01
that. I'm not afraid of of anything. I
01:24:03
mean, look, do I want to go to war? Hell
01:24:06
no.
01:24:07
>> But, you know, I'm not really I I want
01:24:10
to be fearless. I And I think
01:24:12
fundamentally, I've attacked a lot of
01:24:14
those things both in a physical sense
01:24:16
and a mental sense. And so, you know,
01:24:19
I'm I'm I wouldn't say that I'm trying
01:24:21
to be some sort of hero. I mean, far
01:24:24
from it. But, you know, even certain
01:24:27
situations where it was interesting. We
01:24:31
had um I had a beautiful compliment
01:24:33
actually from my wife and and we were
01:24:36
that unfortunate
01:24:39
shooting in in in um surface paradise,
01:24:43
>> you know, and where the where the guys
01:24:45
were out there shooting.
01:24:46
>> Oh, Bondi. Bondi. That's it.
01:24:49
>> And and
01:24:51
that wonderful managed to disarm one of
01:24:54
the the shooters.
01:24:55
>> Incredible.
01:24:56
>> An amazing. And and and um we were
01:24:59
watching and and and Joe said, you know,
01:25:03
that that's something that you would do.
01:25:05
And I I was like, [ __ ] I don't know if
01:25:08
I would. But the fact that she truly
01:25:11
believed that and said that, now I don't
01:25:13
really want it to be tested, Dom. I
01:25:15
don't really want it to be tested, but
01:25:18
>> I think that was an incredible,
01:25:21
beautiful compliment from my wife.
01:25:23
That's really something special. You
01:25:26
would have done something like that. And
01:25:27
and there has been situations where
01:25:30
maybe not to that extreme, but there
01:25:31
have been
01:25:33
fights and whatnot where I've intervened
01:25:35
and and and said something that needed
01:25:38
to be said.
01:25:40
>> Cuz you'd always like to think I think
01:25:41
we'd all like to think we'd be that
01:25:42
person.
01:25:43
>> Yeah.
01:25:43
>> Um
01:25:44
>> Yeah.
01:25:44
>> But the reality is, would I? Probably
01:25:46
not.
01:25:47
>> I don't know if I would. And and quite
01:25:48
frankly, I don't really want to try and
01:25:50
find out. I really don't. M
01:25:53
>> if this was um a speech like at the
01:25:56
Golden Globes or the Academy Awards, who
01:25:57
would you be using this moment to thank
01:25:59
for the person you are today?
01:26:01
>> Oh, there's a shitload.
01:26:03
>> Is there?
01:26:04
>> Yeah, there really are. I've been
01:26:05
blessed with uh so many people that have
01:26:08
um obviously first and foremost is my
01:26:10
wife. I don't really want to go through
01:26:11
the list because it'll be another
01:26:12
[ __ ] hour. I I think I've been
01:26:15
blessed with so many people that have
01:26:17
just contributed a little something
01:26:20
>> that I've you know a big influence me
01:26:24
would have um was Reverend Jim Kane. He
01:26:27
was a wonderful man.
01:26:28
>> Oh yeah, we talked about him briefly
01:26:30
last time from um Wesley College and he
01:26:32
introduced you to the book um
01:26:33
>> Jonathan Livingston Seagull.
01:26:34
>> Yes.
01:26:36
>> [ __ ] beautiful man. I mean that uh my
01:26:40
first ever coach Clive Littton
01:26:42
unfortunately passed uh last year. Um he
01:26:47
was a wonderful man. He he he he
01:26:50
challenged me. I love people that um you
01:26:54
know it's the people that I really
01:26:56
appreciate are the ones that believed in
01:26:58
me when I didn't quite have it in myself
01:27:02
on my journey. You know to this day I
01:27:05
still remember Joe going
01:27:07
change your t-shirt, get out there
01:27:10
>> to go on stage in front of 5,000 people
01:27:13
in Las Vegas. I was [ __ ] myself,
01:27:16
>> but she knew me and she knew I wanted
01:27:18
it.
01:27:19
>> And it was scary cuz you know, who am I?
01:27:21
I'm a I'm a printer in steel cap boots
01:27:24
and overalls filling a duct with ink.
01:27:29
>> But I overcame
01:27:31
>> and that's something I'm really proud
01:27:32
of. Do you think what about anyone
01:27:34
that's listening to this or watching
01:27:35
this that um
01:27:37
doesn't have potentially have anyone
01:27:38
that believes in them? How do you how do
01:27:40
you find that belief in yourself?
01:27:41
>> Well, it starts with self because it
01:27:43
started with me with myself too. You
01:27:45
know, if if it's going to be it's up to
01:27:47
me. You got to take complete
01:27:48
responsibility. Listen, again,
01:27:53
there's no perfect the circumstances are
01:27:56
the circumstances. If you've got no one,
01:27:59
so be it. But that doesn't mean to say
01:28:01
that you can't. You just got to make an
01:28:04
effort continuously each and every day.
01:28:07
And I will tell you that on if you truly
01:28:10
commit to that for the rest of your
01:28:12
life, you will attract to you some
01:28:14
pretty amazing people on that pathway.
01:28:18
>> That's powerful.
01:28:20
And uh last one um Generate Kiwi Saver.
01:28:22
They're my show sponsors. They have been
01:28:23
for a few years now and they're obsessed
01:28:26
with performance. They put put it first
01:28:28
in everything they do. What's something
01:28:30
in your life that you've obsessed over
01:28:31
getting better at and why did it matter
01:28:33
so much to you?
01:28:35
>> So the the theme for me was that uh my
01:28:40
motto was to be a student of excellence.
01:28:44
So again this is where families can sit
01:28:47
down. We put it into the goal setting.
01:28:49
You can go right health what's my goal
01:28:51
there? Finance what's my goal there? Uh
01:28:55
personal development what's my goal
01:28:56
there? uh kids, what's my goal with the
01:28:59
kids? And you can then start drilling
01:29:02
deeper into what specifically are we
01:29:04
going to do? Um
01:29:08
so for me,
01:29:10
especially in in a physical sense, I
01:29:12
wanted to be the biggest, strongest
01:29:14
mother I could be. Don't know why I
01:29:15
beeped that again.
01:29:18
academia.
01:29:19
Uh being a dad, I I am proud of the fact
01:29:24
my adult kids like hanging out with me
01:29:28
and mom.
01:29:30
That [ __ ] is so cool. My kids love
01:29:34
hanging out with us.
01:29:36
>> That's pretty cool. That's special, man.
01:29:37
>> It is. And if it doesn't feel like a
01:29:39
chore, like they're doing the
01:29:40
fortnightly visit out of necessity. No,
01:29:44
I talk to my daughter every well every
01:29:47
week, probably couple of times a week.
01:29:49
She's in London. Uh Mitchell Mitchell
01:29:52
and I have this incredible relationship.
01:29:54
Uh he is a sarcastic little [ __ ]
01:29:57
>> and he's brilliant. He's very sharp with
01:29:59
the comedy and sarcasm. I love that. So,
01:30:02
the two of us have a language that even
01:30:04
mom doesn't quite get.
01:30:06
>> But we have a special connection. E
01:30:09
>> and I have a special connection with my
01:30:11
son
01:30:12
>> and a completely different special
01:30:15
connection with my daughter.
01:30:18
>> These relationships are earned though.
01:30:19
Like you can't just like neglect your
01:30:22
kids and selfishly focus on your own
01:30:24
projects and then go right kids. I'm
01:30:25
ready for you now. Like it's
01:30:26
>> Yeah. Yeah. No, no. It it it's it's
01:30:28
nuanced and it's got to be managed. But
01:30:30
fundamentally, I think the fact that I I
01:30:34
have put myself first has allowed me to
01:30:37
be a better dad and a better because
01:30:39
they model my behavior. Uh and and it's
01:30:42
so incredibly refreshing seeing them ex
01:30:46
uh you know I won't go into details but
01:30:49
my my daughter was really proud of the
01:30:51
fact that she she she nailed her budget
01:30:54
in sales.
01:30:56
>> Uh you know she got a massive bonus. I
01:30:58
mean, pounds is pretty good, right? So,
01:31:00
you know, I'm proud of her. You know,
01:31:02
she's sitting these she's exceeding, you
01:31:05
know, Mitchell going across that stage
01:31:07
for three years of study to get his PGA.
01:31:10
Oh, man. It's it's it's and I think as
01:31:13
much as I enjoy my my own achievements,
01:31:16
uh the achievements of my kids, [ __ ]
01:31:20
that really that's really special.
01:31:24
>> Yeah. Are they Are they proud of you?
01:31:26
>> Oh, [ __ ] Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely.
01:31:29
And they're proud. I mean, my daughter
01:31:32
um
01:31:33
>> you know, she's I got a beautiful girl,
01:31:35
I got to say. Uh and a beautiful soul
01:31:39
and she she's have some guys. I mean,
01:31:43
plenty of guys want to date her. Um but
01:31:48
when they get to know her dad, uh you
01:31:52
know, she has real pride in going, "Oh,
01:31:54
this is my dad." M
01:31:56
>> um that's pretty special. Yeah. I don't
01:31:59
think any guy's good enough for my
01:32:00
daughter.
01:32:02
>> Is it like the old uh the old
01:32:05
>> my daughter?
01:32:06
>> The old joke about sitting on the front
01:32:07
porch with the shotgun.
01:32:09
>> Are you a big soft gun here, bro? You
01:32:11
know.
01:32:11
>> Yeah. No. What What are you like with um
01:32:13
with her partners? Are are you
01:32:15
>> Oh, look. I I I wouldn't trust her to
01:32:16
make
01:32:17
>> I would My daughter and my son are very
01:32:20
savvy. I mean, you go into Mitchell's
01:32:22
room. He is so many books in philosophy.
01:32:25
He is he again understands the
01:32:28
importance of educating himself. You
01:32:30
know, my kids are solid.
01:32:33
>> That's so reassuring.
01:32:34
>> I love that.
01:32:35
>> Yeah.
01:32:36
>> Right. Okay. So, just in closing, um
01:32:39
>> yeah, for anyone that's still listening,
01:32:41
um an hour an hour 30 in.
01:32:43
>> Oh, we've done well.
01:32:43
>> The these these are people that really
01:32:45
want to do [ __ ] better with their
01:32:46
life in 2026. So, start with the vision
01:32:49
board.
01:32:49
>> Yep.
01:32:50
>> Start with the end of mind. clarify what
01:32:52
it exactly is that you want and then
01:32:54
start tenaciously
01:32:57
working towards creating it.
01:33:00
>> That could take three weeks, it could
01:33:02
take three years, it may take 30.
01:33:05
>> I feel that's the exciting bit coming up
01:33:07
with a vision board. It's like arts and
01:33:08
craft like designing designing your
01:33:10
dream.
01:33:10
>> My god. And the amount of kids, the kids
01:33:13
love it, parents love it. And again, if
01:33:16
you do this as a family,
01:33:20
what are you teaching your children?
01:33:23
>> [ __ ] habits for success.
01:33:26
>> Yeah. And you're teaching them not to
01:33:27
have self-limitating self-limiting
01:33:29
beliefs.
01:33:30
>> Yes. And and and to understand, you
01:33:32
know, look, kids, we got to appreciate
01:33:34
their developing brain. So, they're
01:33:36
going to filter the word world
01:33:38
emotionally. But if you start building
01:33:41
these habitual processes, oh man, you're
01:33:43
going to you're going to have children
01:33:47
that are going to be robust, solid,
01:33:51
positive, passionate, curious, wonderful
01:33:55
contributors to society.
01:33:59
>> I think that's a good place to end it.
01:34:00
Anything anything to add?
01:34:02
>> No, that's it.
01:34:03
>> No, we're good.
01:34:04
>> We're good.
01:34:04
>> David Ne, always a pleasure. And by the
01:34:06
way, your book, The Winning Mindset,
01:34:07
which has been out a couple of years
01:34:09
now, um, for
01:34:10
>> Yes, we've reprinted. We were sold out.
01:34:12
We got another and we've got a copy
01:34:14
here. So, I don't know how we're going
01:34:16
to give it away, Dom.
01:34:17
>> I'll do a giveaway on Instagram.
01:34:19
>> Done.
01:34:19
>> Give it away online. Give it away.
01:34:21
>> Um, and if you want to look that book
01:34:22
up, it's still available at Yeah. Fish
01:34:23
Pond, Mighty Ape, Paper Plus, all those
01:34:25
places. Get it online.
01:34:26
>> Yep.
01:34:27
>> Yeah. If you read that book and
01:34:29
implement some of the changes, um, it
01:34:31
will it'll make your life better.
01:34:32
>> Yep. Absolutely. Yeah. Without a doubt.
01:34:35
It's a very It's a very simple, humble
01:34:37
book. It's nothing complicated. It's in
01:34:40
simple language. I'm not trying to be an
01:34:43
academic here. Um, which I think is part
01:34:46
of the reason why it's been so
01:34:48
successful is that people can really
01:34:50
relate to it.
01:34:51
>> Brilliant. David Nath, always a
01:34:53
pleasure.
01:34:53
>> Oh, thank you, Don.