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Fighting Stage 4 Bowel Cancer - How Runner Jackie Robertson was Diagnosed with No Symptoms

August 28, 2024 / 01:06:11

This episode features Jackie Robertson discussing her battle with stage four colon cancer and the impact of chemotherapy on her life. Topics include cancer awareness, personal health, and the importance of community support.

Jackie shares her diagnosis journey, starting with routine blood tests that revealed liver issues. After a biopsy, she learned she had colon cancer that had spread to her liver. Jackie emphasizes the shock of being diagnosed at a young age, especially as a fit and active person.

Throughout the episode, Jackie discusses her experiences with chemotherapy, including the physical and emotional challenges she faces. She highlights the importance of sharing her story on social media to demystify cancer treatment and encourage others to seek help.

Jackie also reflects on her relationship with her mother, who is a cancer survivor, and how their roles have reversed. She talks about the impact of her illness on her son, Zack, who is non-verbal autistic, and how they navigate their lives together.

The conversation concludes with Jackie expressing her determination to fight cancer and raise awareness about early detection and treatment options for colon cancer.

TL;DR

Jackie Robertson discusses her stage four colon cancer diagnosis, chemotherapy journey, and the importance of community support and awareness.

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I know this affects pretty much every

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New

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Zealander my mother had lung cancer in

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2020 so to still have her here alive

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today and on the sidelines of my netball

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games it's something that I'll forever

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treasure the symbol of the deodal is

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very similar to how I feel about the

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silver Fern by buying one deodal you're

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wrapping your arms around a whole

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Community a whole Faro and offering to

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help yeah so many people

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[Music]

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Jackie Robertson welcome to my podcast

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thank you

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wow what a journey so we're recording

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this um in between chemo weeks y yeah I

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have um chemo every second week I go in

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on a Wednesday and they put the first

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light through an IV and then I'm in

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there about 2 hours and then I wear a

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little it looks like a baby bottle or wi

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up cuz it's got a port here it's where

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it goes in here so it's permanently like

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a little area there or wide up for

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another 46 hours with just a slow relas

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chemo so yeah every two weeks yeah we'll

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get into um all of that and what chemo

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means exactly cuz you've been really

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good at sharing the stuff on Instagram

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and it's um uh I think it's quite good

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at demystifying things like it's quite

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different from what we see in the movies

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yeah um maybe the movies are how chemo

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was in the 80s or '90s um but it feels

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like it's come a long way but yeah first

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of all take us back to late October 2023

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so you R you run a marathon a couple of

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weeks before that um you're going for a

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blood test crazy Runner yeah when I

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always do routine Bloods cuz I don't

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have a thyroid and when you exercise

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that much and I just think anyone should

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have yearly Bloods it's just a

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no-brainer you know go to the doctor get

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y hi Kanye here he is it's probably a

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good time for the dog to arrive just

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before we get into the heavy stuff hello

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hello yes okay so you weren't you

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weren't feeling unwell or anything it

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was just a I was angry cuz I it was a

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hawk Bay and I only did a half at that

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day because I was like oh it's a bit

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boring the Hawks Bay one it's all Flash

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and I do like I love the road R Marathon

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I love going around that Lake um and I

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thought I'll do the half and I had my

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time and I wanted to beat my PB and I

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was a minute 50 off and I was really

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angry I was so angry with myself and but

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I'd train I was doing 80k a week I was

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doing three gym sessions as well I was I

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and I'd put it down to I

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overtrained and I didn't recover as

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quick as I normal did but I just thought

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overtraining so I went and I actually

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cuz my doctor I get on really well so

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she's incredible and I I sent her a

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message going I need a vitamin B12

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confusion I say this every year to her

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and she goes well you do for your Bloods

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come in so I went in and she goes I'm

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not doing it we do your Bloods full

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Bloods and then she got them back and

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she's like yeah your your liver mzy are

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high and I was like oh what does that

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mean she goes I don't know we'll just

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let's test more for hepatitis and I was

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thinking oh [ __ ] hepatitis and I'm like

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why couldn't have have been hepatitis um

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so yeah we did a full bloods in that

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came back negative and to be honest I

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I've s this to her when I've seen her

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and she hates saying I owe her my life

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cuz she didn't settle for that she could

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have said let's wait 3 months and see if

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it's settled you know ease off your

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training um but she said no I want to

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scan let's go in for an ultrasound the

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rest of my Bloods were fine everything

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else it was just my

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liver God he's

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cute um and she sent me in for an

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ultrasound and then rang Me 2 hours

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later said I need you to come in so I

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rang mom and I was like panicked cuz I

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was like holy [ __ ] and Mom's like we

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know something's up with your lover cuz

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you had love some so we went in and she

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was you know cleared my doctor was

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talking to me and I I said to a she

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showed me the scan and I've actually got

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photos of I can show you um it was a

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mess my my lover you just saw these dark

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spots every no the light spots on the

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ultrasound I think and I said what's

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that and she goes she goes you got

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fluffies there and I'm like well what a

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fluffies and she's like it looks like

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chers and I said is this cancer and she

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goes

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it looks like cancer but let's send you

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to a specialist and then within oh a

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week I was in it a specialist and then

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they wanted to do a biopsy on the basic

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they did a CT scan and then they wanted

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to do a biopsy on the biggest tumor the

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biggest tumor and my love is 10 cm so it

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was big oh that's massive it was big so

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so when you when you so this is just

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like your local GP yep so when she says

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it could be cancer it looks like cancer

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what then does it feel like you're about

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to faint does St in denial cuz I don't

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have a thyroid and of course Dr Google

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I'd been on Google and it said you can

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get these like tumors in your lever from

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thyroid cuz I was taking too I had too

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much thyroxine and I just thought maybe

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it's that you know you just think nah

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cuz Mom's had cancer twice I'm thinking

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no you know we've had our year and I had

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you know our family's got a lot of

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cancer in it yeah and but also if if

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you're incredibly F and healthy healthy

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yeah and yeah like I just finished

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running I was running I was doing you

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know exercise you know like my liver for

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instance I've never smoked never done

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drugs very rarely drink you I'm so

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bloody clean I squeak and I think how

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can my liver be wrong how can it be have

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all these issues so I was a weeber and

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denial long went in for a biopsy mom

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came in with me and they did this

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monster needle and they put it in and

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took tissue out from the um biggest

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tumor and then I just thought right GE

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it it'll take you know was it about a

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week he said yeah I um yeah when Went to

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went back just went on life as normal

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and then I was at work one day and got a

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phone call and it was my specialist and

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he's like oh can you talk and I thought

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it's not cancer cuz he would asked me to

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come in and I said yeah I'll just go

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outside so I walk outside my office and

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I was working at Shu International then

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and um walked outside and he goes oh

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I've actually got Co so I can't bring

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you into the office and I just thought

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oh

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[ __ ] and he said okay it's come back and

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I actually thought then it's liver

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cancer and then he said

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um the biopsy has shown it's colon

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cancer so Bell cancer that has spread to

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the liver and because of Mom I knew once

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did spr you're at stage four and I just

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I I collapsed You Know You See It On

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movies people's legs give away it's

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never happened to me I collapsed on the

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ground and I everything was spinning and

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I actually pulled my phone I text my

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amazing workmate I said outside now or

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some gibberish and she come running out

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and her husband had gone through colon

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cancer so she took over the phone call

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and that's how I found out outside on my

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own and wow yeah so what does what does

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stage for mean means it has spread to

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distant Parts okay like the crazy thing

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is that I had no symptoms like but now I

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look back and I think was that a symptom

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like I woke up a few times at night and

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I was sweating but I'm getting to that

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age yeah and I thought it was that and

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you know like you know there's a total

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overseer here but you understand stand

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being a runner like big run sometimes

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I'd have to do a Sprint to the toilet

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but I just put that down into runner's

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stomach maybe it wasn't but there were

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no classical signs and even my diet and

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everything is not one that is risk and

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and colon cancer Bell cancer was always

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sort of I hate saying an old man's

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cancer not anymore so the because I've

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had um Alex pler the basketball player

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on the podcast and also Dean Barker um

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they both they both got to the point

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where there was a lot of blood

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stff were you I I did have bleeding but

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I had a big baby so I had a reason I had

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two special say you've got hemorrhoids

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so that's what mine was put down to and

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it was you know total overshare it was

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visible that's what it was but yeah but

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the oversharing thing it's not like it's

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not a pleasant thing to um share or talk

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about um but I think it's very important

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it it's really and the growth of like

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there's a friend of mine we um we like

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banded together like this she's 43 so

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she's just a little bit younger than me

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she's got stage four colon cancer she

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was diagnosed a month after me and hers

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has spread to her lmps through her

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stomach and chest again be's fit active

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she was a the head of PA a private

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school in Hamilton and it's like both of

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us like we're very lucky we've got each

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other cuz we vent to each other and no

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one really knows what you're going

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through until you've been through it and

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you know both of us our whole our bodies

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have changed you you know like you know

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we we laughed like you know and I split

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my jeans this morning i' take some when

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oh [ __ ] steroids and then she's like

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I tried to suck my gut in or popped a

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blood vessel like we joke about it and

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we can do that to each other but it's

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just surreal that you know two women

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like us are going through this with zero

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symptoms yeah well I think that just

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highlights that cancer doesn't

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discriminate so you can do all the right

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things you know the lifestyle factors

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and exercise and all that but it's if

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you're going to get the tap on the

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shoulder you're going to shoulder so

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okay so you collaps outside work then

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like what are the next like 48 hours or

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basically my my two workmates they they

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were incredible um Nikki who was my boss

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she actually rode with me and you Mom

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and Dad and all that so they picked me

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up piled me in a car I think they rang

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mom and said we're on our way Jackie had

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the results and so mom's on the phone to

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Dad and got Mom and Dad we got to their

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house and I was just I actually don't

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remember much about it I was just it was

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like an out of- Body Experience because

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you know I understood what a scary

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territory I was in and what a you know

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that it's pretty bad when it's stage 4/

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Advanced cancer um so Nikki and FIS

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basically explained it all to Mom and

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Dad and they had to you know his Nick

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who was coached by dad having to tell

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people she's known for 20 years that

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this is yeah her

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daughter's diagnosis and we I think we

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all just went into shock like and

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disbelief and even even now it still

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feels like a dream like I keep thinking

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like someone else's dream is my on colge

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just going to ring me and go ha just

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kidding after 13 Rounds of chemo would

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probably [ __ ] SL him good but um yeah

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it was it was very blurry I don't

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remember a lot I just I stayed at Mom

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and Dad's for a week and just I just

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think I was in total disbelief and next

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thing I'm in because I've got health

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insurance so and thank gosh I've got

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health insurance and you know it's worth

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it it is worth what you pay so I was in

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with an oncologist in no time and when

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he first saw me and looked at my scans

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he basically I I again got on Google and

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I talked to people straight away as soon

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as I got got it sunk in that okay this

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is happening it's never come into my

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head I'm going to die I won't let it

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come into my head I will not you know

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like I'm a tougher [ __ ] than cancer so

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yeah you you definitely are yeah we'll

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get into that did you did did any of the

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oncologists or experts um talk about

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life expect I won't ask him and I you

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know he won't and um I know be's

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oncologist heads with her and I said to

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her you know I've always said we're not

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a stat we're a person and it's changing

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now especially with bow and colon cancer

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younger people are getting it maybe if I

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was 70 80 and I got it you know your

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life expectancy probably is 3 years but

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you know you look at someone like um D

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Henwood who's four years on still

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tracking on and but he basically said to

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me you're on chemo for the rest of your

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life and I was just like and I said what

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about surgery because I know your liver

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can regenerate you can take away you

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know up to 20 uh 80% of your liver and

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it will regenerate and my bloody owes me

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and he just said no not an option ever

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and I just said and I and I actually

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remembered it then I thought who are you

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to tell me it's not an option you know

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like cuz I'm stubborn um and so that

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sort of sort of like oh my God and chemo

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to me I thought I'm going to lose my

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hair I'm going to be really sick and

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there are so many different types of

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chemo um he originally was going to put

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me on the one I can't remember what it's

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called chemo brain but it's basically

00:12:39

the real strong one we you lose your ha

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and it's quite and he was going to do

00:12:43

that agressive yeah and I was straight

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away like oh and he goes okay we'll

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start you on the the standard chemo they

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use for cuz there's different ones for

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different cancers um but after Christmas

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we will up it and so I started on the

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one and I have lost half my hair like it

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is a lot thinner

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um and then after Christmas my first

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scan he's like yeah we're going to keep

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you on this one you know I'm happy and

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cuz we talked about Target therapy

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different drugs um I'll get into that a

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bit more about how you know the

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different type of drugs he can take for

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cancer but um and then again goes we

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don't need that and then my last scan

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there been like for me who does not know

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how to read scans I could see a huge

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difference and I've got the photos on my

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two lover and he actually talked about

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dropping one of the KE M and I'm like no

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what's my chance of sudy and he goes not

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yet and I went oh okay he said you just

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need more shrink Edge you need to you

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know cuz these two little tumors on my

00:13:40

left side if they went they' whack off

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my right

00:13:43

side but I would you know like my first

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scan after four rounds of chemo it

00:13:49

actually showed I had two specks of Scar

00:13:52

Tissue on my spine and I said to my

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oncologist what's that and he goes

00:13:55

That's cancer cells if that was left it

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would have gone into my spine I would

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have been to oh is is that why um you

00:14:02

need to be on CH for the rest of your

00:14:03

life just to sort of ring f it or basic

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try and shrink it and get rid of it or

00:14:07

just to maintain it or what well

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basically they just they don't know it's

00:14:11

it's crazy like you look at me and Bix

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we've both got stage four colon cancer

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she's already on a Target therapy cuz

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who's you know like and I'm not you know

00:14:19

everyone responds differently my body is

00:14:21

weird like I'm someone who takes

00:14:22

antinausea and vomits so it's

00:14:25

like um I've just responded really well

00:14:27

to it and you know at the clinic you

00:14:30

know you see people there's a guy goes

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see in six weeks every six weeks he gets

00:14:33

chemo like to me my goal is still to

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shrink it enough that I can remove get

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the surgeon can remove part of my lever

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and I can be cancer free that is my goal

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and that's what I'm aiming for um and he

00:14:47

went from basically I said to my

00:14:48

oncologist at the last um meeting we had

00:14:52

I said when you first saw me cuz he's

00:14:54

he's he's a hard case little Alvin and

00:14:56

he I said you did you think this this

00:14:59

girl's [ __ ] and he goes yeah it didn't

00:15:01

look good and I said and now and he goes

00:15:03

I'm really happy so I'm like okay right

00:15:07

but I've had to change a lot food water

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everything lifestyle and I'm integrating

00:15:13

everything modern me and plus you know

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the more alternative stuff although in

00:15:17

saying that like you you you you say you

00:15:20

had to but you didn't you didn't have to

00:15:22

like you chose to which I think a good

00:15:24

thing I think it's confucious of all

00:15:25

people that had the quote something like

00:15:27

um if you're not your own you're a fool

00:15:30

and it's like you like doctors and

00:15:31

oncologist they have like 100 different

00:15:33

patients they say and they just give you

00:15:34

a like basically a split see and sort of

00:15:37

diagnosis but yeah you need to you need

00:15:39

to be the CEO of your own [ __ ] body

00:15:41

that's what I like about you why um why

00:15:43

did you decide to Sho it on social media

00:15:44

you you did this quite early and it's

00:15:46

it's been great but I know a lot of

00:15:47

people choose to do it differently like

00:15:49

Dean Barker chose to wait until he was

00:15:50

out of the woods before he even talked

00:15:52

about it because people are so scared to

00:15:55

talk about it they're so scared of chemo

00:15:56

like you know remember movies seeing

00:15:58

people violently all with Cho okay chos

00:16:01

are not nice the side effects I get do

00:16:03

suck and especially for someone who is

00:16:05

so active like me and I go for a 2K walk

00:16:07

now I'm like oh my God and I used to run

00:16:10

20K a day as just a training run um but

00:16:14

doctors don't want you being sick they

00:16:16

don't want you violently vomiting they

00:16:17

give you stuff like we on while I'm on

00:16:20

this the chemo I do take steroids and

00:16:22

antinausea okay steroids cause moon face

00:16:25

and love handles but I'd rather that

00:16:27

than cancer so they you know like chemo

00:16:30

has this it is it's a strong drug it's

00:16:34

hard it is hard on the body but it it

00:16:37

works so don't be afraid of it and

00:16:39

that's what I want to say to people this

00:16:40

is cancer it is scary this is stage four

00:16:43

cancer which even is more scarier but

00:16:47

chemo you know like and and doctors and

00:16:49

medicine and everything I'm doing it I

00:16:53

hope I help someone and you know if

00:16:55

someone gets some I've had lots of

00:16:57

people reach out to me

00:16:59

and I just don't want anyone else to be

00:17:02

in their mid-40s with a young child and

00:17:05

get this

00:17:06

diagnosis so yeah yeah or if they do get

00:17:08

the diagnosis to not not be afraid don't

00:17:11

be afraid to speak and fight you've got

00:17:12

to fight for your health 100% so I've

00:17:14

got this post here how's how's your

00:17:16

eyesight it's quite a small font is you

00:17:18

I asked this because I'm I'm on plus

00:17:19

ones these days I've got glass honestly

00:17:21

K another you know we're like Kimo's the

00:17:23

gift that keeps giving yeah so this is

00:17:25

the first post you shared do you want me

00:17:27

to get my plus ones out of the

00:17:30

Fu it how old are you what are you 40 46

00:17:33

46 I'm 51 I got to like 48 49 and I was

00:17:36

saying a friend I'm like my is that

00:17:38

still good I think I'm I've dodged it

00:17:40

she's like no nobody gets out actually

00:17:43

since it was Weary at chemo but since

00:17:46

chemo it's like so I have got my glasses

00:17:49

in here can you read that otherwise I

00:17:51

can read this is the

00:17:53

yeah yeah do you want me to read it out

00:17:55

yeah go ahead okay sometimes life throws

00:17:58

you a decent curveball and the best

00:18:00

thing you can do is smack smack that

00:18:02

[ __ ] curveball back and out

00:18:04

into the field and go for the home run

00:18:06

and that's what I'll do thank you to

00:18:08

everyone who has reached out and

00:18:09

contacted me still processing the news

00:18:11

and just wanting to spend time with my

00:18:14

family to get my head around it all just

00:18:16

wanted you to know I'm doing okay and I

00:18:18

will beat

00:18:19

this so that was like your first sort of

00:18:21

um public post yeah it must have been

00:18:23

when you um when you press the send or

00:18:26

post button on that it must have been a

00:18:28

weird did it feel like a relief or was

00:18:30

it like here goes nothing I've always

00:18:32

been quite open like mom always said to

00:18:36

us growing up you I've got I've got an

00:18:37

older brother and younger sister I'm

00:18:38

classic middle child um she always said

00:18:41

if you can't tell us don't do it so my

00:18:44

brother was still secretive my sister

00:18:47

keeps things quiet where I had shared

00:18:48

everything with Mom and Dad in the stage

00:18:50

mom was like I don't want to know so I

00:18:53

just thought it's better to share and

00:18:55

it's better they hear it from me than

00:18:57

Chinese Whisperers you know I live in

00:18:58

Cambridge it's a small town I don't want

00:19:00

people whispering and talking I don't

00:19:02

want my closest friends to have to hear

00:19:05

you know cuz people think stage four is

00:19:07

terminal it's not terminal it's not you

00:19:09

can still a lot of people nowadays are

00:19:12

getting cured or going into

00:19:14

remission um it's not in game and that's

00:19:18

what I just want to say to people you

00:19:19

know you fight cuz your mind's stronger

00:19:22

than any other thing in the body so yeah

00:19:25

I think that's an important message cuz

00:19:27

um yeah you when you hear stage four

00:19:29

do people give you the sympathy eyes

00:19:30

like oh you're [ __ ] yeah they do they

00:19:33

do yeah well and if if if that's not the

00:19:36

reality anymore then that needs to be

00:19:37

sort of Demi yeah and there's so much

00:19:39

and there's you know like you know they

00:19:42

overseas there's so many options and

00:19:44

there's

00:19:45

a mulligan Mulligan Institute in

00:19:48

Wellington which is all immunotherapy

00:19:50

and like it's not it's not funded so if

00:19:52

you go you do have to pay but hopefully

00:19:55

the New Zealand government will wake up

00:19:56

a bit um but you know there's all these

00:19:59

options out there and every year and

00:20:00

that's what I've said to B we've just

00:20:02

got to go okay we're going to make it a

00:20:04

year and new drugs will come out right

00:20:05

make it another year and then you there

00:20:07

just new stuff coming all the time and

00:20:09

I'm prepared to hop on a plane and go

00:20:10

wherever in the world if I have to live

00:20:13

cuz I have a 12-year-old boy does it

00:20:15

sort of feel like um like your Indiana

00:20:17

Jones K's the big bould behind you and

00:20:19

you just just trying to trying to out

00:20:22

run it does actually feel like that and

00:20:23

Mom and I were talking about on the way

00:20:25

up and back in 2020 mom had stage for

00:20:28

breast cancer so that was just before

00:20:31

lockdown or after lockdown um and you do

00:20:34

feel like you got a ticking time bomb

00:20:36

and and you know Dad made the comment

00:20:38

goes God cancer does take over your life

00:20:40

and it does it's like you've got this

00:20:41

like to me I mom says it's a ticking

00:20:43

Time Bomb for her I say it's like I've

00:20:45

got this I try and get on with life as

00:20:47

normal and go for a walk but there's

00:20:48

this thorn in my shoe that I can't get

00:20:50

out and it's constantly there and it's

00:20:52

it's that's cancer and that's the

00:20:53

reality of living with them shitty

00:20:56

disease like that yeah your mom's

00:20:58

actually here today she's sitting hello

00:21:00

sitting just on the sofa watching over

00:21:02

us so um yeah how I mean the roles of

00:21:05

reversed now like I've seen her in the

00:21:06

background of a lot of your Instagram

00:21:08

stories uh she drove you up here today

00:21:10

um yeah it must be surreal because I

00:21:13

suppose the way she's feeling now about

00:21:14

you it's exactly the same you were

00:21:16

feeling about her four years ago it's

00:21:19

yeah like it's it's just unbelievable

00:21:21

like Mom's actually had thyroid and

00:21:22

breast cancer so she's a douw me um and

00:21:26

you know we sort of both us we know

00:21:28

seriously like what the [ __ ] you know

00:21:30

like give us a break you know I lost my

00:21:32

cousin two years ago to nonod lym and it

00:21:37

happens so quick and it's like just just

00:21:40

stop you know we you know come on [ __ ]

00:21:42

Cloud move on we've had enough but you

00:21:44

know Dad's the one you know some of you

00:21:46

seen Mom go through it now you seen me

00:21:48

go through it and dad said to me after I

00:21:49

was diagnosed it should be me it should

00:21:52

be me not you

00:21:54

yeah y you mentioned your um your M

00:21:57

before so you got got a son Zack how old

00:21:59

Z yeah Zack's 12 he's non um non-verbal

00:22:02

autistic so it's been so hard on him you

00:22:06

know like um man and his father had

00:22:08

50/50 custody um sheer custody and just

00:22:12

because of the monster of chemo and all

00:22:15

the fatigue I have I try to have him as

00:22:18

much as possible but he's still not got

00:22:20

that routine which kids on the Spectrum

00:22:22

love um there's been a definite rule put

00:22:25

in place that no one talks about my to

00:22:28

Zach except me so when I you know stays

00:22:31

I go and lay with him and explain to him

00:22:33

cuz he understands everything and that's

00:22:35

the the crazy things with kids with

00:22:37

autism or people with Autism they're

00:22:38

actually so bloody

00:22:40

intelligent um and yeah so I explained

00:22:43

to them that this is happening and mom's

00:22:44

having good results and she's sorry so

00:22:47

these just things I've done like I

00:22:48

brought a motor home so Zach and I can

00:22:50

go away CU I can't go on a plane I I I

00:22:52

don't want to go into a hotel cuz the

00:22:54

risk is you know your platelets are low

00:22:56

cuz you're getting blasted with chemo

00:22:57

all the time and you're at risk you know

00:23:00

like a paper cut will take weeks to heal

00:23:02

all type of things so I I don't want to

00:23:05

risk catching a cold or a flu or

00:23:07

something like that and then delaying

00:23:08

the chemo because to me I've got my you

00:23:11

know mindset I did have a weak push back

00:23:14

just cuz I needed a mental break and I

00:23:16

wanted my platelets to lift a bit um but

00:23:20

I've learned to go yeah it's chemo I

00:23:22

love K moments you know like

00:23:26

yipp of

00:23:28

chemo but to me that's how I cuz my

00:23:32

second round I was really anxious and I

00:23:35

ended up really sick like I mean I

00:23:37

scared the nurses I could not I was

00:23:39

actually vomiting a lot but I was a

00:23:42

migraine um and that's when I learned

00:23:44

too cuz they it was just before

00:23:45

Christmas and they were giving out bits

00:23:47

of fudge you know and I had a bit of

00:23:49

fudge and my body just went n so I I

00:23:53

have not touched one bit of processed

00:23:54

sugar since that day I've cut off all

00:23:57

processed sugar all Dairy all gluten no

00:24:00

red meat and my alkaline alkaline water

00:24:03

so yeah God what are you eating for fun

00:24:06

oh honey I've got a friend who does

00:24:08

Manuka honey that's my treat so yeah

00:24:10

that's a terrible treat I love it it's

00:24:14

funny cuz I never I was never a huge

00:24:15

vuka honey fan and it's like my body

00:24:18

just loves it now but yeah like and I

00:24:20

used to love chocolate and I just look

00:24:22

at it now and

00:24:23

go it's just weird what your body tells

00:24:26

you and you have to listen to it so so

00:24:29

how's um how's Zach been through through

00:24:30

all this you guys have both done a

00:24:32

phenomenal job by the way like you know

00:24:34

you kids are difficult at the best of

00:24:36

times but dealing with kids that have um

00:24:38

you know extra needs it makes things

00:24:40

tough it's been really hard on him the

00:24:42

school he he goes to Patricia R and

00:24:44

Hamilton which is a school for kids with

00:24:45

special needs um they've been incredible

00:24:48

we're just doing half days of school now

00:24:50

cuz his behavior has escalated like any

00:24:52

I hate using this word and and I know

00:24:54

it's not correct but normal child would

00:24:57

react to an ill parent 100% let alone a

00:25:01

child with high sensory needs um and

00:25:05

he's like he his little face lights up

00:25:07

when he comes to me and you know I've

00:25:09

just had to change stuff like I used to

00:25:11

go for runs and he would bike with me he

00:25:12

would go for big bike rides and I was

00:25:14

always the real active go go go and so

00:25:16

now I've got electric scooters for us

00:25:17

and you know electric bikes so I can do

00:25:20

stuff with them and the motor home which

00:25:21

he he leals in an RV cuz he's got an

00:25:23

iPad which he types to talk so he's

00:25:25

always like and it's a very American RV

00:25:28

like no you've got to go to school so it

00:25:31

has been really hard on him and but supp

00:25:35

I suppose it's hard because for 12 years

00:25:37

you've put all your sort of energy and

00:25:39

resources into him and now it's like you

00:25:42

can't do that you got to I've got to put

00:25:44

it into me and I and it's so hard on me

00:25:47

cuz my life has been you know like

00:25:48

Zach's my life and that's the reason I'm

00:25:50

fighting so hard for this but you know I

00:25:54

just I have to be I have to be selfish

00:25:56

and and you know fight and put myself

00:25:59

first and you know like when I've had

00:26:02

him I had him three days this week and

00:26:04

four days sorry and then um when he goes

00:26:06

to school on the bus I I'll have sleep

00:26:08

for an extra few hours and get ready cuz

00:26:09

we're just doing half days of school

00:26:11

just just to help him and yeah it it

00:26:14

it's awful and it's awful and I I know

00:26:16

he's hurting and I know he's he's

00:26:18

probably scared too and do you try and

00:26:21

put on a brave face or you're quite sort

00:26:22

of honest with him I'm very honest like

00:26:24

I show him my port um and he has seen me

00:26:27

when I have chemo attach I don't really

00:26:29

like having him around when I've got you

00:26:31

know tubes and this toxic bloody stuff

00:26:34

on me but I show him and if he does get

00:26:36

a bit like bargy or you know like kids

00:26:39

on the Spectrum life they want to do

00:26:41

something they're doing it I have to

00:26:42

show them remember mommy's not well and

00:26:45

and he does he does respond but I don't

00:26:48

hide it from him um I wouldn't you know

00:26:52

suppose I've been really lucky I haven't

00:26:53

been violently vomiting all except for

00:26:55

that one incident but I know to fix him

00:26:58

because we used to do so much and we're

00:27:00

out going for Tramps and walks and

00:27:02

biking and running and and now a lot of

00:27:05

the time when he comes I'm laying on the

00:27:07

bed and we're watching a movie or you

00:27:09

know he would do Lego and I'll just lay

00:27:10

beside him so it is it is hard yeah but

00:27:13

you just got to love them you just got

00:27:15

to share them with as much love as

00:27:16

possible yeah yeah when did you realize

00:27:18

Zach was um on on the Spectrum or there

00:27:20

was something not quite Zachy you know

00:27:23

actually M and I talking about the other

00:27:24

day he said just had just a bloody rough

00:27:26

little life you know you think

00:27:28

he he was constantly getting ear

00:27:30

infection so again I you know like you I

00:27:33

wasn't Den I didn't I didn't know a lot

00:27:34

about autism or well I knew a bit about

00:27:37

ADHD you wouldn't would you cuz Eric

00:27:39

seems a little bit

00:27:40

ADHD so we knew a little bit um I think

00:27:44

all of us are

00:27:45

on actually we are yeah and he sort of

00:27:51

probably around the age of well he kept

00:27:52

getting ear infections ended up he had a

00:27:55

growth on his middle ear bone called a

00:27:57

catoma and quite rare and he had to have

00:28:00

a 4-Hour surgery or something and I just

00:28:02

thought oh maybe he's not talking

00:28:04

because he couldn't hear properly you

00:28:05

know like and um yeah so they did that

00:28:09

and all that and then he did start

00:28:11

saying some words and then they just

00:28:12

sort of stopped and then his eye contact

00:28:15

he'd only have eye contact with people

00:28:17

he knew like me Eric mom dad and Eric's

00:28:20

parents um but even that was you know

00:28:23

like it was more me and Eric and my mom

00:28:25

was very Hands-On cuz Eric been away so

00:28:28

she was like the the living Nanny too um

00:28:31

and yeah it was probably

00:28:33

about three I'd say that the day here

00:28:36

was like look there yeah he just wasn't

00:28:40

developing but again the spectrum's like

00:28:42

this and physically he's just you know

00:28:44

he's so strong and capable and but the

00:28:48

it was the vocab and the eye contact and

00:28:53

yeah he didn't do he didn't really do

00:28:54

the classic lining stuff up and all that

00:28:56

but it yeah so it was probably about the

00:28:58

age of 3ish and and what about the

00:29:00

future what do what does that hold is is

00:29:01

it is it um is it going to get better um

00:29:05

don't know like at the moment he's full

00:29:07

of hormones pre

00:29:11

teenager um so of course he's like a

00:29:13

raging ball at times and other times

00:29:15

he's my little lamb so and it can change

00:29:17

like that um I don't know sometimes you

00:29:20

know like he'll just say stuff like you

00:29:23

know he'll just come out with words and

00:29:25

you're like oh good words you know he's

00:29:27

few times when Mom can do something

00:29:28

because want any he sworn at her and

00:29:29

she's like great word Zacky but don't

00:29:31

say that to me you know but we don't

00:29:34

know also he pick the the good words oh

00:29:37

yeah he Pi up the good does he oh he Pi

00:29:38

up does he really okay so so he can

00:29:42

communicate he can it's very it's quite

00:29:44

funny his voice how much it's changed

00:29:46

like he he at the moment french fries

00:29:48

from McDonald's like he's we're very

00:29:50

lucky he eats really well he's got his

00:29:52

dad's appetite he's a good eater and he

00:29:55

loves his french fries and Mom it's a

00:29:57

treat mom takes them and he's got his

00:29:58

iPad he's like french fries french fries

00:30:00

and you're like so and then Mom goes do

00:30:02

you want one or two and he's like two

00:30:04

this real de with two and it's like you

00:30:07

know one no D so wow that's such a such

00:30:09

a um hard and complex thing to

00:30:12

understand but we can read and we know

00:30:14

what he wants and having that the which

00:30:16

the scho D say app and and he'll just

00:30:19

type in like I want normally it's food

00:30:21

related or the the RV um but if he wants

00:30:24

to go scootering or use photos of us he

00:30:27

wants to go to Nana's or what yeah so

00:30:29

that's been great but it is really hard

00:30:32

and it must be bloody hard for him like

00:30:34

frustrating yeah like and he gets angry

00:30:36

and the worst thing is you know like we

00:30:38

have noticed since me he he gets really

00:30:40

frustrated he bites him his hand like

00:30:43

that got and he's actually got calluses

00:30:45

there now and it just breaks my heart

00:30:47

cuz you just want to being a mom or you

00:30:49

know a parent you just want to take that

00:30:51

that frustration and pain and take it

00:30:53

away yeah but I don't know we don't know

00:30:55

what's going the future's going to bring

00:30:57

you know the penny could just drop and

00:30:58

he could find something it's just he's

00:31:00

so into and like he loves photography

00:31:02

you know go for a walk and there's about

00:31:04

a th000 photos on my phone and yeah and

00:31:07

he's but who knows who we don't know

00:31:10

what the it's like a crystal ball none

00:31:11

of us know yeah some friends of mine um

00:31:14

have a son that was severely autistic

00:31:16

like to the point where he couldn't be

00:31:17

around other people he had his like

00:31:19

texture book thing at night time and

00:31:21

couldn't speak now he's he's in his

00:31:23

early 20s and he's um you if you don't

00:31:25

know he's autistic he just seems like

00:31:27

like slightly off like a slightly

00:31:29

awkward awkward man um but he's bloody

00:31:32

great yeah

00:31:34

yeah so so that's so clever so like Zach

00:31:38

can remember a house he lived in when he

00:31:40

was one and a half God I get lost coming

00:31:42

up to O I got no sense of direction like

00:31:45

they've got this he's got this

00:31:46

photographic memory and um but it's

00:31:48

interesting now I know a lot of it you

00:31:50

know about autism and all that you know

00:31:52

you meet people and I can sort of pick

00:31:53

it on people now I'm like yeah yeah on

00:31:56

the Spectrum um and his his um favorite

00:31:59

swear words what do they begin with he's

00:32:01

used the F1 a few times isn't he yeah

00:32:03

yeah he's used the F1 that's so funny

00:32:07

he's not speaking but he's got the and

00:32:09

it's clear as day the good ones it's

00:32:10

clear as day stage you go what so yeah I

00:32:15

Reon that's uh that's coming from um the

00:32:17

time at Dad's house I oh definitely

00:32:19

definely not doesn't

00:32:21

swear

00:32:22

um okay so there's a uh a post from uh

00:32:26

May 15 so this was this last week chemo

00:32:31

week oh yeah yeah yeah this is this is a

00:32:33

really long one I I found this really

00:32:35

really insightful um so that you say and

00:32:38

that makes it round 12 yeah thought I'd

00:32:40

give you a rundown on the side effects

00:32:42

of chemo so you you have chemo every

00:32:45

second Thursday every second Wednesday

00:32:48

Wednesday okay so you go in um they they

00:32:52

put the chemo into there's my little

00:32:54

Port there you can see the bump it goes

00:32:56

in the middle there so there's a little

00:32:58

like a valve under my skin that looks

00:33:00

like just a scar I sort of Imagine like

00:33:02

a just it's just above it it's a little

00:33:04

hard thing and yeah they put it so that

00:33:06

way your veins cuz I had it in my arm at

00:33:09

first the pick line cuz they wanted to

00:33:10

get there was a weight list for this and

00:33:12

they wanted to get the CH on me quick

00:33:14

but you couldn't get your arm wet um it

00:33:16

was just and it was such an ice or this

00:33:18

big thing on your arm so basically when

00:33:21

it's the um the tube goes up here and

00:33:22

runs all the way it goes to the artery

00:33:25

quite close to your heart big main

00:33:26

artery um um where now it's just bumed

00:33:30

there so it's and I can hide it I can

00:33:32

swim with it I can shower with it I can

00:33:34

like live life normally with it um and

00:33:38

yeah

00:33:39

so that's the port so so you're going to

00:33:42

get chemo how long are you in for oh nor

00:33:45

3 hours 2 hours 3 hours like charging up

00:33:47

an EV yeah that's pretty

00:33:49

much that's good way to put so and then

00:33:52

um and then so what does it feel like

00:33:54

when it goes up nothing I feel anything

00:33:57

no um

00:33:58

yeah I put a numbing patch on that I

00:34:00

forgot last time and it hurt um yeah

00:34:03

they just they're fantastic I go to a

00:34:05

place called saluted K in Hamilton it's

00:34:07

um because I've got health insurance

00:34:09

it's a private one the newses are just

00:34:11

amazing um so they go in they first say

00:34:15

well you have to have bloods every two

00:34:17

weeks cuz if my platelets are low or

00:34:19

anything like that um they won't do

00:34:22

chemo if your platelets I think are

00:34:23

under 80 mine was sitting around 84 for

00:34:25

so long and then I just bumped it a away

00:34:27

and it went up to 119 so I just needed

00:34:30

that um break but that's another thing

00:34:32

I'm always at them I want to see my

00:34:34

Bloods I want to know they printed out

00:34:36

now I want to know my tumor markers I

00:34:38

want to know what my Li's doing and like

00:34:40

I don't know what the hell I'm reading

00:34:41

but I want to know taking active

00:34:43

interest yeah patients like you like I

00:34:45

wonder if they um if they think oh go

00:34:46

she's a pain in the ass or if they

00:34:48

appreciate it I think they' probably

00:34:50

appreciate it right they probably do

00:34:51

like with the the tumor markers is the

00:34:53

thing that really surprised me um when I

00:34:58

was first diagnosed like you've got

00:35:00

there's two there's so many different

00:35:01

tumor markers but the two for colon and

00:35:03

bow cancer the ones I get tested for um

00:35:07

and I think one of them has a bit to do

00:35:09

a liver too and I think the first one

00:35:12

normal like you would be under five I

00:35:16

was 790 oh and the other one a healthy

00:35:21

person like yourself with no cancer

00:35:23

would be 3 under 37 I think he said I

00:35:27

was 1,000 wasn't I or I was 1,700 was

00:35:30

cheapers so I was pretty screwed um my

00:35:33

last so every month I have them done um

00:35:36

and my last one the one that should be

00:35:39

five was 35 and the one that should be

00:35:42

35 is 74 oh so down considerably hugely

00:35:47

so okay so when the Cho's going in you

00:35:49

just like play on your phone or read a

00:35:50

book or yeah Netflix or yeah talk to Mom

00:35:54

or play my phone yeah you just yeah I

00:35:57

talk to the nurse and you know you

00:35:59

develop such a good relationship with

00:36:00

them they're such an incredible woman so

00:36:02

and then and then you you like can you

00:36:04

drive yourself home or do you feel no no

00:36:06

they give me a hey

00:36:08

drug I've done it you've gone from being

00:36:10

like drug free your entire life to being

00:36:12

like filming out with no they give you

00:36:16

um so you only have you two steroids and

00:36:18

then you get I can't think what it's

00:36:19

called it's a happy P it's a relaxing

00:36:21

and all that and um yeah it just sort of

00:36:25

makes you go and the one time I did

00:36:28

drive I um well Mom has always been

00:36:31

there with me and gone through every

00:36:33

chemo Clinic like Mom's every scan every

00:36:35

chemo session every specialist you know

00:36:38

mom's been there um Mom dropped me off

00:36:40

at home and I

00:36:41

think yeah I can't remember what we had

00:36:44

to go in and get Zack there' been a

00:36:45

miscommunication or something or and um

00:36:49

yeah and I couldn't get hold of mom and

00:36:50

I was like [ __ ] [ __ ] sh so I just jumped

00:36:52

in my car and I thought I'm not driving

00:36:55

all the way to him go get Mom first cuz

00:36:56

she's only just up and I was hitting

00:36:58

roundabouts and I'm like hell's wrong

00:37:00

with me like I felt like Mr M remember

00:37:03

Mr

00:37:04

M that's what I felt like and then I

00:37:06

said to my nurse you know I drive she

00:37:08

goes oh don't drive do not drive on

00:37:10

those pearls because you just yeah like

00:37:12

I thought I was fine but I was banging

00:37:13

into the round like what the hell like

00:37:15

you're driving drunk anyway totally so

00:37:17

yeah this is another post you Shar so

00:37:19

this was um December 7 MH um first Cameo

00:37:21

day you want to read that out God I need

00:37:24

my glasses I can go and grab you the

00:37:26

plus ones you know today marks the start

00:37:29

of the toughest journey of my life

00:37:31

anxiety levels have been through the

00:37:32

roof and I have definitely gone into the

00:37:34

Jacky cave to try and work through all

00:37:36

this how can someone so fit healthy runs

00:37:39

Marathon have stage four cancer and zero

00:37:41

symptoms but being a fit healthy person

00:37:44

is going to help me fight this today is

00:37:46

my first day of chemo and the pump stays

00:37:48

on me for 46 hours even though I'm so

00:37:51

scared I will fight this with everything

00:37:53

I've got I won't leave any

00:38:03

sorry Z thing I won't leave any Rock

00:38:07

unturned my strength comes from my

00:38:09

darling little boy Zack mommy is going

00:38:12

to beat this my baby also thank you for

00:38:15

all your messages and

00:38:17

support I'm so lucky to be surrounded by

00:38:20

such amazing people [ __ ] you cancer time

00:38:23

to fake cake you nasty [ __ ]

00:38:27

um a special Thanks goes out to my

00:38:30

amazing support Angels who have wrapped

00:38:32

their wings around me in these past few

00:38:34

weeks my amazing parents Gary and Sharon

00:38:37

my brother and sister Brook and Daye

00:38:39

Nick and fris my counselors Elana Robin

00:38:42

Joe

00:38:43

Renee um and last but definitely not

00:38:46

least my absolute beandy you are really

00:38:48

my backbone and I love you

00:38:52

endlessly yeah yeah is it tough to

00:38:56

reflect on that yeah it is it is it is

00:38:59

it's

00:39:01

just it still as I said it seems

00:39:04

surreal it yeah it seems like it's a bad

00:39:07

dream

00:39:11

and yeah it seems like a really bad

00:39:13

dream and you know when I think of Zach

00:39:16

and I just I want to be there to see him

00:39:19

grow up you know he needs his mom yeah

00:39:23

but it must sh you must be proud like

00:39:24

you think about how how scared you were

00:39:27

of the now and then and now you're how

00:39:29

12 rounds 12 rounds next week so yeah

00:39:31

yeah now I'm like

00:39:34

Cho Kemo

00:39:36

coffee wow yeah okay so chemo um yeah in

00:39:41

this big post you did last week you said

00:39:43

firstly it's not as scary as in the

00:39:45

movies yeah it's not fun but the doctors

00:39:47

don't want you violently sick so there's

00:39:48

mids to help there yeah I found this

00:39:51

really interesting just you know

00:39:52

demystifying all these things about

00:39:55

cancer uh fatigue is like nothing I've

00:39:57

experience running a marathon is a

00:39:58

breeze oh it is like you know you run a

00:40:01

marathon your body aches and you're sore

00:40:03

but you've got that the dophins and all

00:40:05

that you don't have the endorphins with

00:40:07

chemo fatigue um you it just and it will

00:40:11

just hit you like but I have learned

00:40:13

that um going for little walks helps

00:40:15

with fatigue you know fresh air and all

00:40:17

that um but yeah it's sort of it's

00:40:20

probably 3 days after the pump comes off

00:40:22

you know like this you just you just

00:40:24

need days NS um but I'm or three days

00:40:28

yeah probably three yeah but like yeah

00:40:30

cuz chemo stays in your body for about 7

00:40:32

days so um so so we're recording this 8

00:40:36

days after your last round is this sort

00:40:38

like The Sweet Spot do you have a window

00:40:39

that's um the it's cuz it's I can't

00:40:43

pronounce ke my brain it builds up your

00:40:45

system I'm trying to think of the word

00:40:46

but now it's not there um the more

00:40:49

rounds you have the more the side

00:40:51

effects like the tingling in my hands

00:40:53

and feet and in the tip of my tongue and

00:40:55

all that that's probably got worse like

00:40:57

I've been so lucky with the nausea like

00:40:59

I've put it down to um it's sort of like

00:41:02

morning sickness if I let myself get

00:41:04

hungry I'm like oh I feel a bit sick but

00:41:06

I know what to eat and what to not eat

00:41:08

and yeah but it's sort of yeah it's sort

00:41:12

of 7 days out that's when everything

00:41:14

leaves your body your body can get I

00:41:16

sometimes get migraines cuz you sort of

00:41:18

the steroids are gone and this is gone

00:41:19

but you just manage it is that what the

00:41:22

steroids do they like pain relief they

00:41:24

take out the inflammation on the body

00:41:26

cuz of chemo causes inflammation and all

00:41:29

that so it takes that out so you only

00:41:30

take them for 4 days so just 2 in the

00:41:32

morning right but yeah um the chemo I'm

00:41:37

on you don't lose your hair but it thins

00:41:38

a lot I had a lion's man now I kind of

00:41:42

feel like Dr Evil's cat yeah your hair

00:41:45

looks fine though do you want there

00:41:46

cliffing in here oh really yeah but to

00:41:48

cover up it's not bold spots it just

00:41:51

thins so you go through it like I did

00:41:53

have thick ha um and it's all starting

00:41:56

to grow back I my cousin put me on to

00:41:58

this incredible woman who's a wellness

00:42:00

practitioner and she's she's a cancer

00:42:02

survivor and survived a really

00:42:04

aggressive cancer 10 years on and she's

00:42:06

got me on all the right practitioner

00:42:08

grapes supplements so now it's all

00:42:11

growing back but again's growing back

00:42:14

fing white not even white so I've got

00:42:17

all this regrowth of white here and I'm

00:42:20

like serious yeah like your mom is that

00:42:23

natural that's natural yeah yeah wow so

00:42:27

yeah well look your mom's your mom's

00:42:28

beautiful if you exactly um numbness in

00:42:32

your hands or feet and now the tip of my

00:42:34

tongue cold water feels like electric

00:42:36

shocks trying to take something out of

00:42:38

the fridge as torture what do you mean

00:42:39

like holding it well basic the tips of

00:42:41

your fingers um there's a word for it

00:42:44

again sorry um but it's like all time

00:42:47

you got slightly pins and needles or

00:42:48

they're just a little bit numb and you

00:42:50

go to grab something out of the fridge

00:42:51

and honestly it's like freezer burn on

00:42:53

your fingers and you're just like oh and

00:42:56

and drinking ice chilled water um the

00:42:59

nerves in your throat it's like they

00:43:00

contract and it feels like they're

00:43:01

closing over and you can't breathe but

00:43:03

you can but it's just

00:43:04

everything's and yeah the hands are

00:43:06

getting bitter but the cold weather's

00:43:08

brought on the feet and I was just

00:43:10

walking down pons Road and I tripped and

00:43:12

Mom said you're all right and I was like

00:43:13

[ __ ]

00:43:14

feet what's it's amazing cuz no you

00:43:17

never hear about the stuff no one tells

00:43:19

you about the stuff it's very very com

00:43:21

the tip of my tongue is just weird um

00:43:23

but again it's like it's funny cuz Bey

00:43:26

on two or three rounds ahead of her so

00:43:29

I'm always like this is a new side

00:43:31

effect like the great thing I had a we

00:43:33

while back I think it was after round

00:43:34

eight I got good old oral thrust so my

00:43:37

mouth is just like cotton wool and I

00:43:39

message her going oh my gosh and then

00:43:41

she's like thank God I haven't had that

00:43:43

through you ex lat she goes you'll never

00:43:45

guess what I've got so we've sort of

00:43:46

laughed with each other but we just go

00:43:48

it's the gift that keeps

00:43:50

giving yeah with every every round

00:43:52

there's another surprise like another

00:43:54

layer to unrap um yeah next point you

00:43:57

bring up in this post from May 15 is

00:43:59

choin which youve mentioned a couple of

00:44:00

times today uh worse than being a blonde

00:44:04

offensive you can say it I can't you

00:44:07

forget things mid sentence thinking

00:44:09

clearly and concentrating as hard yeah

00:44:11

like honestly you'll be talking and it's

00:44:13

like someone has just gone PS and you're

00:44:17

like sh what was I just saying or you

00:44:20

know the words right there but you can't

00:44:21

remember how to say the word um CU a a

00:44:24

lot of people a lot of women experience

00:44:26

things like this pregnancy right baby

00:44:28

brain did you have it with uh with Zack

00:44:30

at all or is it different I don't know I

00:44:32

can't remember I don't think I did maybe

00:44:34

not no no like yeah I um yeah it's just

00:44:38

nuts like I've been going to a um

00:44:40

restorative therapist who works on

00:44:42

breathing and yoga poses and different

00:44:44

and she's been incredible for my stress

00:44:46

levels like I I don't think I would have

00:44:48

got through a lot of this without her

00:44:50

and yeah a lot of time I'm talking to

00:44:52

her and then I just stop and she knows

00:44:54

totally what's happened and I'm like

00:44:56

yeah okay we change a subject I can't

00:44:58

even remember what I was talking about

00:45:00

and it's sort of we laugh like a lot of

00:45:02

the time it happens to Mom and she mom's

00:45:04

been finishing my sentences cuz it's

00:45:06

she's going to be my driver and my

00:45:08

translator soon well that's good that's

00:45:11

good does she ever get it wrong you're

00:45:12

like no M that's not what

00:45:15

I uh the next one bow motions

00:45:18

constipation or diarrhea this is usually

00:45:19

caused by the anti nausea antinausea and

00:45:22

steroids I have only had severe

00:45:24

constipation at the start of treatment W

00:45:26

it was so so bad and

00:45:29

happened this is over

00:45:32

sharing mom sometimes do you think the

00:45:34

Instagram stuff's too much no uh and it

00:45:38

happened late at night that's when the

00:45:40

the pump bottle came in handy what does

00:45:42

that

00:45:44

mean Pump bottle came in handy as

00:45:46

there's no after hours well I didn't

00:45:48

have

00:45:51

an so you like hot

00:45:54

water no I think we just blasted that's

00:45:57

when you know your mother loves you oh

00:45:59

my

00:46:00

God what did your mom do it really yeah

00:46:05

BL you tri something that off

00:46:09

your Jesus you guys have a good

00:46:11

relationship good relationship great

00:46:14

relationship but yeah it was like I was

00:46:16

sort of half well the first the funny

00:46:18

thing is I was at Mom and Dad's and it

00:46:19

was bad and now I've learned to manage

00:46:22

it and all that and it was so bad I was

00:46:24

so painful and I was like I this is so

00:46:27

gross it was just sitting there and I

00:46:28

was like oh my God I can't go I can't go

00:46:30

and I was in an Agony and we didn't have

00:46:32

a pump bottle so Dad out this he'

00:46:35

cleaned it an old dishwashing liquid

00:46:37

bottle and we're like that's not going

00:46:39

to work so Mom races off to the the

00:46:43

petrol station comes back with pump

00:46:45

bottles and I say I'm in the toilet

00:46:46

going oh she goes right bend over off we

00:46:49

go worked God that is beyond the call

00:46:53

how how old is your mom a what are you

00:46:57

60s coming up 72 coming up 72 yeah you

00:47:01

think you

00:47:02

know pH is over with you think you're

00:47:05

out of the woods but you never you never

00:47:08

saw this in your

00:47:10

life wow where's so dad's dad's not

00:47:14

dad's out of the room dad doesn't dad

00:47:16

just

00:47:17

like Dad had

00:47:20

what he's done it to Mom before she

00:47:23

passes on

00:47:24

[Applause]

00:47:25

every so we we yeah this is a this is a

00:47:29

really good family Dynamic though like

00:47:32

it's it's Inc you know it's it's a

00:47:33

horrible [ __ ] of a disease but it

00:47:35

really shows you who loves you and cares

00:47:37

for you and of course your parents do

00:47:38

but we did laugh about that like once it

00:47:41

was over I was a bit like oh my God but

00:47:44

um yeah once it was over we've had a few

00:47:46

good laughs about it like and you got to

00:47:48

laugh cuz it takes so much joy out of

00:47:51

your life and you're living with this

00:47:53

horrible which my workmate first calls

00:47:56

it rust you know know you want to get

00:47:57

that rust out of your body but yeah like

00:48:00

we we did have a good laugh about that

00:48:02

and yeah so but now I definitely kiwi

00:48:04

fruit is my best

00:48:06

friend I don't want to go through that

00:48:08

again and I haven't drunk out of a pump

00:48:10

bottle since yeah cuz um I mean you you

00:48:13

can you can laugh laugh your way thrat

00:48:14

and as they say if you don't laugh

00:48:16

you're going to [ __ ] cry and you've

00:48:17

got a great relationship with your

00:48:19

parents and they're there for you but

00:48:21

you're still like this you know fiercely

00:48:24

independent um and driven your woman so

00:48:27

from a you like a like a pride

00:48:30

perspective like you know must be

00:48:32

embarrassing ah I actually wasn't

00:48:35

embarrassed at all I just wanted it to

00:48:38

you just wanted to P out I just wanted

00:48:39

to go I was like just make it work so we

00:48:43

did tell my my oncologist didn't we and

00:48:46

he was like oh how I give you some

00:48:48

tablets for that I don't think you

00:48:50

really like the idea that we were doing

00:48:52

that but needs must I I had severe

00:48:55

constipation in my teens and it's I

00:48:56

imagine pregnancy to be like it was like

00:48:58

the worst gut pain imaginable oh it's

00:49:01

horrible aw yeah but I haven't touched

00:49:03

wood hadn't since then so um the next

00:49:06

thing as we move on fromation um I know

00:49:11

it's it's so interesting because and

00:49:13

it's not something that we should I

00:49:14

think Shy Away from because um you know

00:49:16

I think awareness with this sort of

00:49:18

stuff is key that's good uh taste buds

00:49:20

are dead everything tastes kind of the

00:49:21

same yeah yeah it definitely is like um

00:49:25

you know I still well basically on quite

00:49:27

much a plant-based diet now um and I

00:49:31

have brought fresh salmon and I'll have

00:49:34

um organic free range chicken but I'm

00:49:36

really really careful with what I'm

00:49:38

eating and when I actually met mom and

00:49:40

dad's coming there quite a bit and you

00:49:42

know when I'll cook and I'll go try it

00:49:44

mom goes what do you think it tastes

00:49:45

like I mean it tastes the bloody sa to

00:49:46

me but it honestly does and that's why I

00:49:49

think I love my Manuka honey so much

00:49:51

because it's such a strong flavor I get

00:49:52

a taste but um yeah you just like even

00:49:56

now it's just a weird feeling in your

00:49:58

mouth it's just it has to be a pretty

00:50:00

strong flavor for me to go oh I taste

00:50:02

that so you see you and your mom went

00:50:04

out for lunch just before coming here to

00:50:05

say what did you eat I had cauliflower

00:50:07

soup yeah and it was good I actually

00:50:09

could taste you know he had like there's

00:50:11

some spices in this but again you know I

00:50:13

have um that person at a restaurant the

00:50:16

people person I used to go too like say

00:50:18

he there got no gluten in it no dairy in

00:50:20

it is you know like I'm just and I won't

00:50:23

even drink the water cuz I only drink

00:50:24

souit and water um I'm r into my juices

00:50:27

now cuz there's been a lot of studies

00:50:28

especially green juices um but yeah I am

00:50:32

that person in a restaurant that people

00:50:34

go [ __ ] you're doing all the right

00:50:36

things aren't you oh you have to yeah

00:50:39

you have to you know like yeah and I

00:50:43

miss cheese gosh I miss cheese and you

00:50:45

know I found out from my friend who's

00:50:47

that Health practitioner she said you

00:50:48

know you can have goat fet or goat

00:50:51

cheese and so that was like a treat it's

00:50:52

disgusting but it's like a treat like oh

00:50:55

yeah I'm goat Fe but yeah and you know

00:50:58

really lucky there you know that

00:50:59

beautiful regland coconut yogurt thank

00:51:02

God I like that because yeah because

00:51:04

interesting is Dair is one of the

00:51:06

probably worst things for cancer too so

00:51:09

yeah wow um the next one was this is

00:51:13

something you bought up already uh mouth

00:51:14

ulcers lip Burns and good old oral

00:51:17

thrush what does what does that mean

00:51:18

just basically a mouthful of but I've

00:51:21

been really lucky because the first

00:51:22

thing that the nurses said to me salt

00:51:25

water baking soda mouth rins when you're

00:51:26

in chemo because some reason you just

00:51:28

get ulcers um Becky who I've talked

00:51:30

about a lot she has continuously got

00:51:32

like burns on a lap I had it maybe the

00:51:34

first two rounds and I thought oh God

00:51:36

great I'm getting cold SS now but it

00:51:38

wasn't and there I've just learned to

00:51:41

manage it now and I've learned the stuff

00:51:42

that works and that doesn't um yeah oral

00:51:46

thrush was just disgusting what's that

00:51:49

basically it's a a yeast spilled up I

00:51:51

think in your mouth and because my

00:51:52

immune system is so toast and that's why

00:51:55

I'm on all these supplements now to

00:51:57

build my your gut health is so important

00:51:59

if your gut's not right and chemo does

00:52:01

blast

00:52:02

everything um and yeah my mouth you

00:52:05

poked my tongue out and was like white

00:52:06

and it sounds gross but it looked Fury

00:52:08

and it was just like I had cotton war in

00:52:10

my mouth so um I know a lot of babies

00:52:12

get it um so I've treated that and then

00:52:15

I just manage it now just yeah and then

00:52:18

cuts that won't heal a small paper cut

00:52:21

will bleed like a [ __ ] and take two

00:52:22

weeks to heal oh it's such a pain but

00:52:24

that's again your platelets and all that

00:52:26

and um keep knocking that um yeah but

00:52:29

it's just just such a pain like you just

00:52:32

scratch yourself and you bleed and bleed

00:52:33

and bleed I'm like oh you can stop now

00:52:35

but yeah it's just one of those things

00:52:37

but that's the doys of chemo and cancer

00:52:39

patients you just have to be so careful

00:52:42

so steroids oh hello moon face and love

00:52:47

handles you look you look right you

00:52:49

quite self-conscious about it do you

00:52:50

think you've blow it up quite a bit oh

00:52:52

yeah yeah just would I split the ass in

00:52:54

my jeans

00:52:58

um yeah just I think because I'd gone

00:53:00

from that runner's body you know like

00:53:02

everything was toned and I had abs and

00:53:04

you that row say the runners bum which

00:53:06

is that AAL taunt bum and now it's like

00:53:08

I feel like freaking a saggy elephant

00:53:10

but it's probably more me and I have put

00:53:12

on probably four 5 kg but it's better on

00:53:15

going that way than going down you know

00:53:17

and that's what the nurses go we'd

00:53:18

rather you put on weight than lose

00:53:19

weight um but I think you just you miss

00:53:23

like I miss that know it sounds vain

00:53:26

that runner's body cuz you do you just

00:53:28

you you know like it's funny we looked

00:53:30

at my scan my scan when I first got it

00:53:33

and they do back view in front view of

00:53:35

the the CT scan and like there was they

00:53:37

could see like your skin around the

00:53:38

outside of your body and I had nothing

00:53:40

there was nothing there then the last

00:53:42

one it was like these love handles and

00:53:44

I'm like what the hell's that I must

00:53:46

have been wearing extra tight pants like

00:53:49

it's it's funny he because it's like

00:53:51

from um from outside appearances like

00:53:53

anyone that was at the cafe that you

00:53:54

guys would just at no one would be able

00:53:55

to tell that you're you're going through

00:53:57

anything yeah yeah it is and it's a

00:54:00

crazy thing you know like um vix and I

00:54:03

are doing a an article for women's day

00:54:05

cuz it's Bell Cancer Month next month

00:54:08

and both of us like they said to us oh

00:54:10

do you have photo of you and you have

00:54:11

chemo and looking sick and I'm like we

00:54:13

don't look sick we don't look sick for

00:54:15

us we you know like mom always says you

00:54:17

know the are days when I went to Mom's

00:54:19

house and I spent three days in beard I

00:54:21

was just wiped and you know I do like

00:54:24

every morning I still get up and check

00:54:25

my eyes to make sure they're not yellow

00:54:27

cuz I got tumors in my you know liver

00:54:28

I'm terrified I'm going to end up with

00:54:30

jaundice but you know chance I won't but

00:54:33

um we don't yeah we don't look sick but

00:54:37

and that's the the scary thing with

00:54:40

especially this colon cancer in under

00:54:42

50s it's getting diagnosed really late

00:54:45

and people look really healthy yeah but

00:54:47

you you were you weren't diagnosed late

00:54:49

though were you you you you weren't

00:54:51

diagnosed late you were well I had blood

00:54:53

tests in 2022 and everything was perfect

00:54:56

and then I blood test in 2023 and my li

00:54:59

so I have no idea how long like the

00:55:03

basically the tumor of my colon cuz I

00:55:05

had the colonoscopy and all that um it's

00:55:09

just was just on about 3 cm it's 40 cm

00:55:12

into my colon and the rest of my colon

00:55:15

is if you can say a picture perfect

00:55:16

colon it is there's no other PPS it's

00:55:18

just this one freaking mushroom and um

00:55:22

even that it didn't even look that angry

00:55:24

and then I'm like how can this you know

00:55:26

you hear of people who have 12 CM tumors

00:55:29

that don't spread and I said to my

00:55:30

oncologist why why did I have this one

00:55:32

and it's quite a clean tumor decide to

00:55:35

go and have a good massive party in my

00:55:36

lover and he's like just takes one

00:55:38

little cell one and cuz you got the

00:55:40

portal vein that runs that area and he

00:55:43

said it's the most common place that all

00:55:44

spread is to the liver and I just you

00:55:47

know times I've gone bloody [ __ ]

00:55:49

ungrateful body you know like I've

00:55:50

looked after you so well this is how you

00:55:52

think me [ __ ] you exactly and you do

00:55:55

feel like and you know my Instagram post

00:55:58

you know I'm putting on this real but

00:56:00

there are times I crumble and I cry and

00:56:02

I've been you know on the phone to Mom

00:56:03

absolutely beside myself and I can't and

00:56:06

there are times I go and it's just

00:56:07

venting cuz I'll never give in but it's

00:56:09

like I can't keep fighting this I don't

00:56:11

want this I you mourn your old life you

00:56:14

and it's the best way it's like you've

00:56:16

lost your old life you've things you

00:56:19

took for granted you wish you hadn't now

00:56:21

and and it definitely puts life into a

00:56:24

whole new perspective and what's

00:56:26

important in life you know I to be

00:56:28

honest I used to go and get BOTOX and

00:56:29

all that it's like oh [ __ ] growing old's

00:56:32

a privilege I'd never do that now who

00:56:35

cares if I've got wrinkles and you I'll

00:56:37

be happy if I can live to a ripe old age

00:56:40

so yeah yeah I like that it's a good

00:56:44

takeaway yeah um yeah I think another

00:56:46

good takeaway from this is just the

00:56:47

importance of um yeah like basically

00:56:50

being the CEO of your own body doing

00:56:52

your own research seems like you've

00:56:53

spent a lot of time online and I have

00:56:56

stage M can you please start reading a

00:56:58

book to give yourself a break from caner

00:57:00

Reading up about that um and also like

00:57:05

for instance of a bit of a background

00:57:06

with Bal can Bal cancer is the second

00:57:08

biggest killer of cancer in New Zealand

00:57:10

behind lung

00:57:13

and um it's been over 20 years since new

00:57:16

any new funded drugs have come in so

00:57:19

there's people dying of bell cancer cuz

00:57:21

they can't afford to pay for the drugs

00:57:24

you know like some of these drugs are 60

00:57:25

Grand a year and if they can't afford it

00:57:28

you're did and it's it's wrong it's it's

00:57:31

it makes me actually quite angry cuz

00:57:33

it's like you know that's not fair it's

00:57:35

really not fair that because you know

00:57:38

even if you have health insurance it

00:57:39

still doesn't cover the whole

00:57:41

amount um and if these you know like

00:57:46

9,500 people die of cancer a year in New

00:57:48

Zealand we're one of the highest rates

00:57:50

per population per population why you

00:57:54

know why we

00:57:56

why is this happening in New Zealand why

00:57:58

are so many more people die of cancer

00:58:00

than on the road and it's just freaking

00:58:03

scary and the stuff I've learned and

00:58:05

I've talked to the the Bell cancer um

00:58:09

Society have been incredible like they

00:58:11

they send out little funding packages

00:58:12

like they gave me $150 towards groceries

00:58:14

or you can have it towards petrol and

00:58:16

like just stuff like that um where

00:58:19

actually me and Vicky along with my

00:58:21

friend Renee who's a designer of maou um

00:58:25

it's a New Zealand label which t-shirt

00:58:27

is here she's doing a Jack and B range

00:58:29

and it's all of these t-shirts and

00:58:30

they're 100% Pac cotton which is from

00:58:33

Peru and it's Jack and bick's collection

00:58:35

and 50% of the proceeds are going to

00:58:37

Bell cancer research and Renee goes I

00:58:39

want to do this I want to so yeah Bix

00:58:41

and I are going to be the front of that

00:58:43

and it's just like we need to to push

00:58:45

Bell cancer because it's growing so much

00:58:47

and the screening like Bell cancer

00:58:49

screening you know it's like over 60 I

00:58:52

think why isn't it younger cuz there's

00:58:55

more I think I somewhere could be wrong

00:58:58

but it's been a

00:58:59

70% increase in under 50 cancers that's

00:59:03

[ __ ] scary wow is that a diet thing

00:59:06

or a lifestyle thing what is it well

00:59:08

what you know it's another thing me and

00:59:09

my friend Google um I'm like what is it

00:59:13

you know you know is it our water is it

00:59:16

our food is it pesticides we're spraying

00:59:19

and is it you know like what is it but

00:59:22

we just just don't know it's just and

00:59:25

it's scary cuz if it's going to continue

00:59:27

to grow that what's Zach's Generation

00:59:29

The Generation after him and you know

00:59:32

like he's govern need to bring more

00:59:34

funded drugs in because you know I'm

00:59:37

prepared to go to Australia I'll go into

00:59:39

Australia and get what I need to get

00:59:41

over there and pay what I have to

00:59:43

because they're so Advanced they're one

00:59:44

of the leaders in cancer research in the

00:59:46

world so I'm prepared to do whatever but

00:59:48

you shouldn't have to yeah yeah cancer

00:59:52

Cancer's picked the wrong person you you

00:59:53

you do love um you you know

00:59:57

the squeaky the squeaky wheel gets the

00:59:58

oil is that the same yeah I you're the

01:00:01

squeaky wheel like when you and Eric

01:00:02

were together and Zach was young um you

01:00:05

know you did you did a lot to raise

01:00:07

awareness of autism and Eric was on

01:00:09

Dancing With the Stars raising money for

01:00:11

he wasn't on very long maybe longer than

01:00:13

what he should have been you

01:00:15

see he took it quite seriously he oh

01:00:18

he's very competitive yeah yeah yeah um

01:00:21

so that was then and now now like the

01:00:24

work that you'll do um you with colon

01:00:27

cancer Bale cancer is um just as

01:00:29

important if not more important you know

01:00:30

and yeah it is it's so important it's

01:00:34

yeah and you know you know I'll fight

01:00:37

for it cuz I don't want I don't want

01:00:39

other people going through this you know

01:00:41

if I could help someone just one person

01:00:44

if they get this to get it at stage one

01:00:46

or two you know that's a win because you

01:00:49

know stage four it's not a death

01:00:52

sentence but it means your fights a lot

01:00:54

harder and yeah you bring it on cancer

01:00:58

yeah yeah you're up for it you're up for

01:01:00

oh definitely definitely to me dy's not

01:01:02

an option you know it's definitely not

01:01:04

an option um and as I said my end goal

01:01:07

is getting my liver chopped intoo sliced

01:01:09

and diced um so I just have to keep my

01:01:13

body as healthy and and happy and

01:01:16

stressfree as possible so when the time

01:01:20

comes and it will

01:01:22

come um the surgeon and Orland can go

01:01:25

right let's let's do it let's let's cut

01:01:27

that [ __ ] out of your liver and go on

01:01:29

and live a happy life I love the

01:01:32

positivity have to be positive 100% 100%

01:01:36

but a lot of people they get um bad news

01:01:38

like this and it um overwhelms them it's

01:01:41

definitely it still does is yeah as I

01:01:43

said there are times and I ring M up and

01:01:44

I'm a mess and I'm crying and like why

01:01:47

me and there is a time you go why the

01:01:49

hell me but then I think everyone with

01:01:51

cancer goes why me um you know it's just

01:01:56

just it as you said it doesn't

01:01:57

discriminate if you're going to get it

01:01:58

you're going to get it and nothing

01:02:00

nothing you can do can stop that um but

01:02:04

yeah there are times and I think what

01:02:05

I've learned you know is to let yourself

01:02:07

cry to let yourself absolutely like I've

01:02:09

sat on the floor of the shower and I've

01:02:11

been sobbing hysterically because it's

01:02:13

releasing all that you don't want to

01:02:15

hold it in don't hold anything if you

01:02:17

want to scream scream if you want to

01:02:18

throw things you I remember actually

01:02:20

after I saw the oncologist the first

01:02:22

time and mom and dad took me home and

01:02:24

was carrying a water bottle and I was

01:02:26

just I just got this Rush of anger and I

01:02:29

just threw the water bottle and it

01:02:30

smashed into a tree dad picks up the

01:02:32

water bottle it's not the tree's

01:02:34

fault I don't think dare knew what to

01:02:37

say and I just sort of looked at him and

01:02:39

I just went inside and yeah

01:02:43

momy dad picks up the bottle and I'm

01:02:45

just you know just if you just want to

01:02:47

vent just vent because if you hold it in

01:02:50

it's just going to eat away at you and

01:02:51

it's more toxic than anything so were

01:02:53

you quite an emotional person before the

01:02:55

diagnosis no

01:02:57

yes yeah I'm sort of iring nothing okay

01:03:01

okay I've always been one if I'm upset

01:03:03

people know I never you know you know if

01:03:07

I'm going to cry I'm going to cry yeah

01:03:09

um but I've always been really stubborn

01:03:12

and I call it pigheaded and I think

01:03:13

that's going to be to my benefit that

01:03:16

it's going to be like n you're not

01:03:17

taking me you bastard yes so it's been

01:03:20

um like say 6 months or seven months

01:03:23

since you got the diagnosis so you're

01:03:24

proud of yourself yeah I am actually as

01:03:27

as I Pat myself on the back and Mom's

01:03:29

and you know always saying to me you

01:03:31

know I'm so proud you're doing so well

01:03:32

and you're handling it and it's you know

01:03:35

I've just got surrounded by such

01:03:36

incredible people right and and just

01:03:40

recently because I've been horsey crazy

01:03:42

since I was could walk and my best mate

01:03:45

she's like right get out here we're

01:03:47

going for a ride and so it was the best

01:03:49

thing for me you just got to remember

01:03:51

why you're fighting this cuz it can cons

01:03:53

it does consume you and that's why going

01:03:56

for that ride and just just being back

01:03:59

to Jackie again was the best thing for

01:04:01

me CU in going to the beach like I took

01:04:04

Zack there's an organization called

01:04:05

surface healing and um they're a

01:04:07

charitable organization they can't take

01:04:09

kids with autism surfing and we took

01:04:11

Zack over to the mountain it was just so

01:04:12

beautiful watching his little face light

01:04:14

up as he got pushed around on a

01:04:16

longboard he was he was pretty lazy

01:04:17

Surfer it was like just push me

01:04:20

pissant but you know just you just got

01:04:22

to remember and you just got to why why

01:04:25

you fighting that

01:04:26

and remember the be life's precious and

01:04:29

a gift and yeah don't take it for

01:04:31

granted yeah so yeah I love that I think

01:04:35

that's probably a good place to end it

01:04:36

yeah yeah great chat um yeah you

01:04:39

messaged me about doing doing the

01:04:41

podcast like that's how much you want to

01:04:43

um spread the word about um cancer and

01:04:46

early detection and and spreading

01:04:49

awareness which I think is really really

01:04:50

good yeah it's really I mean it's not

01:04:52

for everybody everybody's different like

01:04:54

Dean Dean Barker chose not to say

01:04:56

anything about it until he was out of

01:04:57

the woods and actually he choose not to

01:04:59

even tell his wife about it until you

01:05:01

know the bloodiness still got very very

01:05:03

bad um a man thing cuz actually my

01:05:06

friend's my friend's husband who colon

01:05:08

cancer he was sort of the same and and

01:05:10

she was like what the hell how long's

01:05:12

this been going on I think I think

01:05:14

that's sort of you know I hate to say it

01:05:15

but men sort of they want to fix it they

01:05:18

don't want to yeah I couldn't believe

01:05:19

that about Dean I said I said she's

01:05:21

she's your wife and and he goes yeah

01:05:23

it's not a you know fun thing to talk

01:05:25

about you know but I think yeah people

01:05:27

like you being out there and being

01:05:28

prepared to talk about it it's really

01:05:29

cool yeah so thanks Hees that's all

01:05:32

right thank you and um Good Luck for

01:05:33

everything who's driving home Mom oh I

01:05:35

drive the first part on the motorway cuz

01:05:37

Mom hates Oakland traffic and then once

01:05:39

it gets to a bit more spread out she

01:05:41

jumps in and gets the massage seat going

01:05:43

and off she goes you two on the way back

01:05:46

to Hamilton now th and

01:05:48

Louise thank God there's no CES all

01:05:51

right hey Jackie good luck for

01:05:52

everything thank you you're the

01:05:59

[Music]

01:06:03

n

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Episode Highlights

Facing Stage Four Cancer
Jackie reflects on her diagnosis of stage four colon cancer and the shock it brought.
“I collapsed on the ground and everything was spinning.”
@ 06m 46s
August 28, 2024
The Importance of Advocacy
Jackie discusses the need to take charge of one's health and advocate for oneself during treatment.
“You need to be the CEO of your own body.”
@ 15m 41s
August 28, 2024
A Journey Through Cancer
Jackie shares her emotional journey from diagnosis to treatment, emphasizing resilience and hope.
“I will beat this.”
@ 18m 18s
August 28, 2024
Facing Stage Four Cancer
It's not terminal; many are getting cured or going into remission. "You fight cuz your mind's stronger."
“You fight cuz your mind's stronger than any other thing in the body.”
@ 19m 19s
August 28, 2024
A Mother's Journey
The roles have reversed as she supports her son through his cancer battle. "You just got to love them."
“You just got to love them, you just got to share them with as much love as possible.”
@ 27m 16s
August 28, 2024
Facing Cancer Head-On
Today marks the start of the toughest journey of my life, battling stage four cancer.
“Today marks the start of the toughest journey of my life.”
@ 37m 26s
August 28, 2024
The Power of Support
Grateful for the amazing people surrounding me during this fight against cancer.
“Thank you for all your messages and support.”
@ 38m 15s
August 28, 2024
Humor in Hardship
Finding laughter amidst the challenges of cancer treatment is essential for resilience.
“If you don’t laugh, you’re going to [ __ ] cry.”
@ 48m 16s
August 28, 2024
The Fight Against Cancer
A powerful discussion on the emotional and physical challenges of battling cancer.
“Cancer's picked the wrong person.”
@ 59m 52s
August 28, 2024
Importance of Early Detection
Highlighting the need for awareness and early detection in cancer treatment.
“You just got to remember why you're fighting this.”
@ 01h 03m 53s
August 28, 2024

Episode Quotes

Key Moments

Community Support08:31
Sharing the News18:50
Reality of Cancer20:40
Zach's Journey21:59
Emotional Struggles56:02
Perspective Shift56:21
Advocacy for Change57:21
Personal Growth1:03:27

Words per Minute Over Time

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