00:00:06
Stefan Ozich, welcome to my podcast
00:00:08
again. Yes, second time guest. Take two.
00:00:12
Take two. So, first time you came on the
00:00:14
podcast would have been um September
00:00:17
2024 when you were just about to begin
00:00:20
this journey of running the Tiara Trail
00:00:23
twice.
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Yeah, far out when you put it that way.
00:00:27
Yeah. September. I was just ramping up.
00:00:29
Probably two weeks out, wasn't it? Yeah.
00:00:32
So, shivers. A lot's happened since
00:00:34
then. But yeah, that's correct. Four and
00:00:36
a half months ago almost. So, it was one
00:00:38
of those it was one of those podcasts
00:00:40
like from from my perspective, it's like
00:00:43
Sorry guys. Sorry to interrupt you.
00:00:45
Stephen, could you pull your microphone
00:00:46
in a little closer? Yes. Okay.
00:00:49
Got it. Could you go from the top again?
00:00:52
Well, can't we just pick it up from um
00:00:54
40 seconds in? I mean, it probably be
00:00:56
eas
00:01:01
Okay. Okay. Okay.
00:01:04
Stefan Ozich, welcome to Welcome back to
00:01:06
my podcast. Yeah, it's good to be back.
00:01:09
So, this is your second appearance on
00:01:11
the podcast. First time was um September
00:01:13
last year, just when you were about to
00:01:14
embark on this journey of running um the
00:01:17
length of New Zealand twice on the
00:01:19
Tiaraa trail, 6,000 km um which you
00:01:23
ended up doing in 114 days, which works
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out to be an average of 52 km per day.
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Yeah, that's the one. Wasn't the plan
00:01:31
was 100 days averaging about 60ks a day,
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but due to the terrain and unforeseen
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circumstances, which I'm sure we'll get
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into, that kind of dwindled that down
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and extended it out. But on the in the
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scheme of things, I'm happy that it
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wasn't much more than that. Uh
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considering it was meant to be 100 extra
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14 days from a percentage, it's not much
00:01:50
different. So, in the end, I was pretty
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happy with that. M yeah. Where did it go
00:01:55
so horribly wrong? Where to start? No,
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no, no, I'm kidding. Like it's um like
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just doing it at all is amazing. Um I
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know it wasn't the uh the the time you
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were hoping for in terms of days, but
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in some ways that makes it even more
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remarkable. You're out there for that
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much longer. Like four months of your
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life all up. Yeah. I was I was talking
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about this with a couple friends and it
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got to the point where like yeah, I'm in
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here. I'm doing this thing. I'm focused
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on this one thing. But once it passed
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throughout 100 days, 105 days, I was
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like, "Shit, this is getting this is
00:02:26
getting intense." And once it passed 110
00:02:28
days, for me, that was that was kind of
00:02:30
my invisible like, yeah, this that will
00:02:33
be the maximum I go. But knowing that I
00:02:35
only had four to six days left to go. I
00:02:38
was like, I can ride this out. But it
00:02:39
definitely got in the point where I'm
00:02:40
like, this is this is getting long. Like
00:02:43
this is this isn't just like a a
00:02:45
two-month journey. This is like a third
00:02:47
of a year. And I was thinking about I
00:02:49
was trying to think very consciously of
00:02:50
my crew too. You know, they committed so
00:02:52
much of their life to this thing. It's
00:02:54
kind of like I've got to, you know, it's
00:02:56
out of my control, right? Only I could
00:02:57
only do so much in a day that would lead
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to so much less time. So, but hey, we
00:03:02
got it done. Yeah. And for me, this is
00:03:05
the exciting thing about having you back
00:03:07
because when I had you in here the first
00:03:08
time, it was this um this this big hairy
00:03:10
audacious goal um that you were planning
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on doing. Um, and I thought you had that
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look in your eye that you were going to
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do it, but you just don't know. Like
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there's so many variables that can come
00:03:19
into these things. Yeah, absolutely. Cuz
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I can only say, you can only say you're
00:03:23
going to do something so much, right?
00:03:25
You would actually do the thing. And
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that was my case. I was coming in blind.
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As blind as I could have been. I was
00:03:31
prepared as as prepared as I could be,
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but there's only so much you can, you
00:03:35
know, get get in line. And it's it's the
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doing it part. Like I had all the
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logistics in order, but it's the actual
00:03:41
physical act of doing it. So yeah, it's
00:03:44
it's a weird place to be when I look
00:03:46
back. In in terms of um the preparation
00:03:48
angle, uh yeah, what would you have done
00:03:50
differently? I would have started later
00:03:53
later in the year just due to the
00:03:54
adverse weather.
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Uh that probably would have been the
00:03:58
biggest thing honestly not much else. Uh
00:04:01
so physically you you'd done enough?
00:04:03
Yeah, physically I don't think I could
00:04:05
have done anything more honestly like
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cuz cuz the thing is what I learned very
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quick is you're going to get injured.
00:04:11
It's inevitable you're going to get
00:04:12
injured. It's just a matter of how soon
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and how effectively and how efficiently
00:04:17
you can, you know, recover from that.
00:04:19
But it would have been probably the
00:04:21
start date I would have I would have
00:04:22
pushed it further further in the air
00:04:25
because just the weather I encountered
00:04:26
which I had no idea I was going to
00:04:28
encounter was just extreme. It was very
00:04:31
very caught me off guard. Yeah. Oh, I I
00:04:35
can't wait to get into that and talk
00:04:37
about that. Um, yeah. First of all,
00:04:39
before we go any further, we'll talk
00:04:40
about your your why. Your brother Jerome
00:04:44
in particular, like in the um the first
00:04:45
time you came on the podcast, this made
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up a big part of it. Yeah. Your why. But
00:04:49
um for anyone that maybe didn't hear the
00:04:50
first one, but is listening to this now.
00:04:52
Yeah. What's the why? Yeah. Great. Uh so
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ultimately two years now, coming up to
00:04:58
two years now, my brother um he took his
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life and a year prior to that, I lost uh
00:05:04
one of my closest friends to the same
00:05:06
same circumstances. Um, and I got to
00:05:10
catch a firsthand glimpse as to how uh
00:05:13
underresourced and underfunded uh the
00:05:15
mental health sector is in New Zealand
00:05:17
from a men's perspective catering to
00:05:19
helping men in particular. And it
00:05:22
prompted me to be like, no, I've got to
00:05:24
raise money, raise awareness, whatever
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it looked like. And then fortunately in
00:05:27
that period with my brother when he was
00:05:29
suffering, I met the founder of this
00:05:31
foundation called the Last Chance
00:05:33
Project. Um, and it was from that
00:05:35
journey after Derome passed. uh that I
00:05:38
created this connection realized like
00:05:39
now this is the foundation that I'm
00:05:41
going to raise money for. So that was
00:05:42
ultimately the why. Yeah. And uh you did
00:05:46
raise money uh I checked the give a
00:05:48
little page last night 231,000. Yeah.
00:05:50
Yes. It's like quarter of a million. And
00:05:52
your your your your goal or your dream
00:05:55
or your wish was to raise a million.
00:05:57
Yeah. Correct. Um [ __ ] quarter of a
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million. I mean that ain't bad. I
00:06:02
remember when we had this we we chatted
00:06:04
about this um at the beginning. And I
00:06:06
think at the time I had 50,000 maybe.
00:06:08
And then you made such a good point
00:06:10
which really kind of took a bit of
00:06:12
weight off my shoulders and you asked a
00:06:13
good question in the leadup and prior to
00:06:15
that too was um uh you know it's still a
00:06:19
[ __ ] ton of money and it's still more
00:06:21
than nothing. You know that's still a
00:06:22
lot of money to work with and knowing
00:06:24
that it's now quarter of a mill. It's
00:06:26
yeah it gives a bit of peace but it also
00:06:29
um tells me that that's still a
00:06:31
significant amount of money that can
00:06:32
make some change. Uh however, there's
00:06:35
still that goal, right? It's still
00:06:37
there. Um but I'm at peace with it. And
00:06:39
I remember you asked that question and
00:06:40
it and it told me like, you know, if you
00:06:41
don't reach the target, which we in a
00:06:44
way haven't, it's still knowing that
00:06:46
that money, that chunk of cash is going
00:06:48
to bring some change and bring some
00:06:49
value to men. And that for me is yeah,
00:06:52
gives a lot of peace and it tells me
00:06:53
that okay, the mission is somewhat
00:06:55
complete. I'm at peace with that.
00:06:57
Setting a goal is one thing, but
00:06:58
actually getting somewhat close to it or
00:07:00
even a quarter of the way to it, hey,
00:07:02
it's better off than zero. So yeah.
00:07:04
Yeah. $231, especially in the uh the
00:07:07
climate we're in at the moment, you
00:07:08
know, cost of living crisis, inflation
00:07:10
crisis, everyone's struggling. I think
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it's a it's it's a ton of money,
00:07:13
especially for a guy that doesn't have
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like a you know, with all due respect,
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like a like a huge profile. Um you've
00:07:19
you've done this like just just with
00:07:21
your own sort of um I don't know,
00:07:23
tenacity and drive and spirit. I think
00:07:25
that's really powerful. Yeah. Yeah.
00:07:28
Interesting putting it that way. Uh that
00:07:31
was a a factor too. It's like who am I?
00:07:34
You know, who's this guy? And it
00:07:35
definitely helped coming on your podcast
00:07:37
by all means. Uh but yeah, I mean again,
00:07:41
we said this, hey, when there's a why
00:07:43
and it's strong enough, it's that that's
00:07:46
that that leads primarily and I noticed
00:07:48
this at the end. I got way more
00:07:50
traction, way more attention near the
00:07:52
end, which is what I knew would happen.
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Um and then people eventually do start
00:07:55
to recognize. So yeah, it's interesting.
00:07:58
Oh. Um yeah, the week that we're
00:08:00
recording this, it's just been announced
00:08:02
that um what's his name? Is it Russ
00:08:04
Cook? You know, the world's hardest
00:08:07
hardest. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um seems like
00:08:10
a promotion. I don't think it's a
00:08:11
charity thing. I think it's a
00:08:12
promotional sort of thing. Sponsored by
00:08:13
100% pure New Zealand. Um yes. So Russ
00:08:16
Cook, hard skiser, massive social media
00:08:18
following. Uh he's coming to New Zealand
00:08:20
to run the Tiara Trail. Uh once, not
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twice. Um
00:08:25
I'm I'm probably projecting here. This
00:08:27
police says more about my ego than
00:08:28
anything else. But yeah, does it [ __ ]
00:08:31
you off that he's had so much media
00:08:32
attention about it? Nah, it does. Like
00:08:35
like obviously there's a smidgen of like
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[ __ ] But nah cuz end of the day what
00:08:39
that guy did running the length of
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Africa, which is for those listening who
00:08:43
who didn't know that's why he got the
00:08:45
clout he does and has got the awareness
00:08:47
and that's just that's just so extreme.
00:08:49
Like obviously there's that part of my
00:08:51
ego but it's like damn. But it's like
00:08:52
hey he he's he's deserved that. He's
00:08:55
fully deserved that. And you who knows
00:08:57
for my next thing hopefully it will
00:08:58
bring more attention. So uh yeah I
00:09:01
respect that. But the thing is I made I
00:09:03
wrote a message on his page. I'm like
00:09:04
hey bro if you got any tips if you want
00:09:07
any tips ran it twice only person ever
00:09:09
to do so. And it's got like 300 likes on
00:09:11
his on his on his thread. So that pops
00:09:14
it up the comment higher. So hopefully
00:09:16
he sees that and be like oh yeah I might
00:09:17
ask a few questions. So who knows but
00:09:20
hey what he's done and what he's
00:09:21
achieved is just it's mindboggling. So
00:09:24
power to him really. Yeah. Yeah,
00:09:26
whatever the whatever the deal is,
00:09:27
presumably the um the the pay for 100%
00:09:30
New Zealanders um you know the the
00:09:32
tourism benefits from um attaching
00:09:34
themselves to his social media. Um but
00:09:36
there's there's there's a few guys out
00:09:38
there doing incredible stuff like Ned
00:09:39
Brockman in Australia as well. He's
00:09:41
another one that's done some amazing
00:09:42
runs. Maybe next time you do it, you
00:09:44
know, you'll Yeah, you'll get the sort
00:09:45
of Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah. The
00:09:47
clout or the flat you deserve cuz the
00:09:49
thing that this was my first thing and
00:09:50
it was quite an extreme thing. Um maybe
00:09:53
Yeah. That's like maybe the next thing.
00:09:55
Uh yeah, who knows? It's going to be
00:09:57
interesting because obviously for me
00:09:59
this is just the start, right? I've I've
00:10:01
I've well and truly got the bug uh for
00:10:05
big big events and knowing now that
00:10:08
physically I can get through quite a
00:10:09
lot. It's like okay cool. Let the body
00:10:12
settle, refresh, digest, assimilate all
00:10:15
the learnings and then yeah, next thing
00:10:17
will come. Yeah. Where you at now? you
00:10:20
at the now the point now where you just
00:10:22
sort of blue sky thinking just um yeah
00:10:24
coming up with possibilities of what you
00:10:25
want to do next or yeah in a way well
00:10:27
cuz I had a lot of thinking time to do
00:10:29
on this mission I was already kind of
00:10:31
like crazy to think even thinking about
00:10:34
it now was during the event I was
00:10:36
already thinking about what I was going
00:10:37
to be doing after this event and I
00:10:38
already had ideas so yeah even during
00:10:41
and now after for sure main focus now
00:10:43
has just been recovery so that's kind of
00:10:45
all my focuses now yeah yeah how how did
00:10:48
the recovery look like sort of
00:10:50
unexpected side effects and things like
00:10:52
that. Yeah, definitely what we spoke
00:10:53
about before off camera. Right. It was
00:10:55
the blues. I definitely felt like what
00:10:57
would you say postevent depression? Uh I
00:11:00
was pretty low. Uh I was very surprised
00:11:02
how low I got. Just a bit overwhelmed,
00:11:04
anxious, jittery. Uh all the noise, all
00:11:07
the focus on you know me and this
00:11:09
mission. You know the ego likes that.
00:11:11
You know my mind was loving that in a
00:11:13
way. And then all of a sudden it's just
00:11:14
turned off. Uh that in itself is its own
00:11:17
thing. but focusing so solely on this
00:11:20
one thing for such a long time and to
00:11:22
have that cease. Uh yeah, it was it was
00:11:25
a bit of a it was a ton of bricks, so to
00:11:27
say, but I've dealt with it, I think, in
00:11:29
a real healthy way with, you know, my
00:11:31
family and with, you know, we spoke
00:11:33
about my faith. That's been helpful. And
00:11:34
just through my own processing and
00:11:36
trying to just be gentle with myself,
00:11:38
but still at the same time be that have
00:11:39
that same discipline and ferocious
00:11:42
focus, but in a recovery sense and in a
00:11:44
sense of like rest in the sense of
00:11:46
keeping it cool. That's been kind of my
00:11:48
attention uh switching to kind of that
00:11:51
area.
00:11:52
That seems mainly mental. What about
00:11:55
physical? Yeah. Yeah, true. That very
00:11:57
mental cuz I think the mental thing the
00:11:59
mental thing has been the hardest thing.
00:12:02
That's the the physical uh kind of came
00:12:05
naturally cuz I know what to expect. So
00:12:06
sauna big time. Uh, I had an ice bath
00:12:10
actually and
00:12:12
my usually when I go on an ice bath,
00:12:14
right, you have the pain and and it kind
00:12:16
of it dwindles and you kind of just deal
00:12:18
with it. When I went on an ice bath last
00:12:20
week, my feet felt like there was a
00:12:23
blowtorrch being centered on it and it
00:12:25
wouldn't go. Usually after about 5 10
00:12:27
seconds it goes. It just stayed there.
00:12:29
So that told me the nerve ending. So I
00:12:31
actually asked this friend of mine. He
00:12:32
said, "Yeah, the capillaries and the
00:12:34
nerve endings are just shot." So you
00:12:36
imposing that um cold which causes I
00:12:38
think it's vasual contraction um that's
00:12:41
going to conflict and cause so much pain
00:12:43
to those nerve endings. So don't do that
00:12:45
yet. Focus on the body. Don't focus on
00:12:47
the feet. So that's kind of been the
00:12:48
focus. Just focusing on the rest of the
00:12:50
body. Massaging the feet just not ice
00:12:51
buffing it. And eating and sleeping.
00:12:54
That's really been it. Eating good food,
00:12:56
sleeping 8 to 10 hours a night. So
00:12:58
that's the physical component. But as I
00:13:00
was saying about the mental, that's been
00:13:01
the most
00:13:03
uh that's taken the most time and it's
00:13:06
been probably the hardest. It's been the
00:13:08
most unexpected too with what I've had
00:13:11
to deal with as I was just saying. So
00:13:13
yeah, it's a marriage as it is with the
00:13:15
event I did. It's physical and mental.
00:13:17
So, same thing with recovery. And it's
00:13:19
been real good, too, cuz I've been
00:13:20
keeping like doing journal entries and
00:13:22
just just processing what I'm going
00:13:24
through as I'm recovering. And that's
00:13:26
been quite informal for me and um
00:13:29
educational because I've also got my
00:13:31
coaching business and I've got clients
00:13:33
now. I've got this sort of uh repertoire
00:13:37
of experience and knowledge now that I
00:13:39
can pass on to people that may do
00:13:41
similar things and I can be like, "Hey,
00:13:43
this is likely what you expect. Don't
00:13:45
fre out. expect it, but don't be fredded
00:13:47
out. Be patient, and you know, you'll
00:13:49
you'll get through it. You'll get
00:13:50
through it. Oh, yeah. You're a wealth of
00:13:52
knowledge now for anyone that wants to
00:13:54
do one of these extreme sort of
00:13:56
challenges. Yeah. Um I I heard No, maybe
00:14:00
I read it in an article. Whatever. Um I
00:14:02
The quote was, "You feel grateful rather
00:14:04
than proud." Can you explain what you
00:14:07
mean by that? Good question. Yeah. Yeah.
00:14:11
Proud. I don't know. It's an interesting
00:14:12
word. Grateful.
00:14:15
Um, grateful that my body was able to
00:14:17
get through it. Grateful that I had the
00:14:19
crew, grateful that I had the the body
00:14:21
that could tolerate the onsort of
00:14:23
injury, grateful that I had um the
00:14:26
circumstances, grateful I had the
00:14:27
support, uh, grateful I could be an
00:14:30
opportunity. It is just a multitude of
00:14:33
um those factors that told me, yeah, I'm
00:14:36
I'm able to do this thing. And pride for
00:14:39
me, which I think what ultimately what
00:14:41
being proud means is that you're sort of
00:14:44
um involving your own self-will as the
00:14:48
means and the mechanisms to getting the
00:14:50
thing done. Like it's only you, it's
00:14:52
only through your control. So that's why
00:14:54
I didn't really like to use that
00:14:56
language. I like to use the language of
00:14:57
gratitude because it was all the things
00:14:59
around me and all the people I had
00:15:01
around me and all the circumstances that
00:15:03
were in my favor that allowed me to do
00:15:04
it. So that's really the reasoning.
00:15:06
Yeah. I try to not allow it to get
00:15:08
because again the ego can be very
00:15:10
penicious. My one as well as all of ours
00:15:12
can be. Um but I just it was a means of
00:15:15
checking myself you know obviously I did
00:15:16
the thing. I'm not taking away from that
00:15:18
but I realized very clearly that yeah
00:15:21
I'm just so grateful. Like even just my
00:15:22
parents alone like the support they had.
00:15:24
They'll text me every day. Such a huge
00:15:26
boost for me to know that I've got these
00:15:28
parents that support me that are in my
00:15:30
life. And then I have my friends they
00:15:32
would like message me most days. So all
00:15:33
those things as to was to why I was more
00:15:36
grateful than I was proud of what I'd
00:15:38
done. Yeah, that's cool. Thanks for that
00:15:40
answer. Yeah. Um okay, how many pairs of
00:15:43
shoes? Yeah, it's honestly Vivo
00:15:47
Barefoot. Shout outs. They were my main
00:15:48
sponsor. They are a wowwearing, sturdy
00:15:51
shoe for something that's only 8 m of
00:15:53
tread. What is it? Vivo Vivo Barefoot.
00:15:55
That the shoe I the shoe I wore for the
00:15:58
whole thing. um eight mills of tread and
00:16:01
that would last month, you know,
00:16:03
essentially it was three months, four
00:16:05
months. So that they would, you know, I
00:16:07
would have a pair that I would I could
00:16:08
have kept going. So really, I went
00:16:10
through two pairs that like completely
00:16:12
ripped, but the actual soles of the
00:16:15
other six pairs that I threw out, I
00:16:18
could have probably get got another, you
00:16:19
know, 50ks, 100ks out of all of them.
00:16:22
But the soul started to give too much
00:16:24
that they would have created like a too
00:16:26
much of a compensation that could have
00:16:27
caused the injury. That's kind of why I
00:16:29
threw them out. So really only eight
00:16:30
pairs I went through which in the scheme
00:16:32
of things was pretty, you know. Yeah.
00:16:36
Amazing. Yeah. It's trail trail running
00:16:38
as well. It's rough terrain. So um I
00:16:40
don't know what these shoes are. Is it
00:16:41
like the Viram Five Fingers? Similar
00:16:44
principle except you haven't got
00:16:45
individual toe. Okay. Yeah. So it's just
00:16:47
a barefoot style shoe with wide toe box
00:16:49
minimalist style. Yeah. There's no stack
00:16:51
height between the foroot midfoot and
00:16:53
the um sole. So just neutral. And and um
00:16:56
did you have um AirPods or anything or
00:16:58
did you raw dog it? Raw dog most of it.
00:17:01
Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Just you
00:17:03
and your own thoughts? Pretty much. Why?
00:17:04
What was the What was the mentality
00:17:05
behind it? It's a weird It's a weird
00:17:07
thing, Dom. I've tried to figure this
00:17:09
out. For some reason, there's this thing
00:17:11
in my mind. It feels like a pain
00:17:13
listening to music. I can't explain it.
00:17:14
I really can't explain it. like I put
00:17:17
them in and all of a sudden I get bored,
00:17:20
which is counterintuitive cuz you get
00:17:22
bored of doing the thing like where
00:17:24
you're not listening to music. Uh but
00:17:27
there was moments where I was like,
00:17:29
"Yeah, it was generally music." Um it
00:17:31
was generally podcast or audio books
00:17:33
that I was listening to. I didn't really
00:17:35
listen to music when I was listening to
00:17:36
something. Uh yeah, I'm trying. I don't
00:17:40
know. It's a weird thing, man. And then
00:17:41
it was until like four years ago, 5
00:17:43
years ago, David Gogggins came out
00:17:45
saying like, "Nah, listening to shit's
00:17:46
cheating." And then I was kind of like,
00:17:48
and I was kind of like, "Oh yeah, that
00:17:50
kind of makes sense to my logic then. It
00:17:52
kind of is cheating." But really, before
00:17:53
he said that, I'm not trying to like say
00:17:56
like, "Yeah, go." Before that, I'd
00:17:57
already I was never really a listener of
00:17:59
music. So, yeah, it's it's a weird
00:18:01
thing. I had a weird thing with that. I
00:18:03
don't know. But I don't get me wrong,
00:18:04
man. Like I do listen to music or listen
00:18:07
to a podcast or audio book, but yeah, it
00:18:10
was just I don't know cuz it was so you
00:18:12
you you required so much focus as well.
00:18:15
You required so much attention on the
00:18:17
steps, especially in the NALI trains in
00:18:19
the South Island. You kind of couldn't
00:18:21
like listening to something would might
00:18:23
be distracting and all it would take is
00:18:24
a misstep and then you're you're done.
00:18:26
You know, you could you could have
00:18:27
rolled an ankle, snapped the leg. Uh so
00:18:30
that was also part of it as I was
00:18:32
already I had to be so engaged to what I
00:18:33
was doing. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't think
00:18:36
um I don't think we can stress that
00:18:38
enough. Like running 6,000ks over 4
00:18:40
months is um is is is insane in in
00:18:44
itself, but to do it over um the trails
00:18:46
and also with the vert that thisa trail
00:18:48
has. Um it's just like an added
00:18:51
dimension. Yeah. Big time. Crazy. So, so
00:18:54
you Yeah. Most of the time you're alone
00:18:56
in your own thoughts and obviously on
00:18:58
those um technical bits um you know
00:19:01
mindfulness is key. You have to be so in
00:19:03
the moment. But what about um yeah what
00:19:05
about times
00:19:06
like you know when it's just flat and
00:19:08
boring like where did your mind go to in
00:19:10
those places?
00:19:12
How how did you stay positive? Yeah. Oh
00:19:15
man. Well, when well I'll ask the first
00:19:18
question like the flat sections they I
00:19:21
must admit it was probably the real flat
00:19:24
sections where I did listen to um a
00:19:26
podcast or read an audio book. Um but if
00:19:29
I didn't have that I guess I'll just be
00:19:31
kind of it was kind of like an active
00:19:33
meditation. My mind was just focused on
00:19:35
like well I'm doing this thing and then
00:19:37
I'll just kind of focus in and just I
00:19:40
can't explain it man. It just it just
00:19:42
goes. The time just goes and I'm just
00:19:44
absorbed in this thing. But I would say
00:19:45
the best uh explanation would be kind of
00:19:47
like an active meditation. Um but yeah,
00:19:50
to keep positive, yeah, that was one
00:19:52
that was one that I had to deal with
00:19:54
most days. Like every single morning I
00:19:56
woke up, I didn't want to go for the
00:19:57
run. Like I never had a I never had a
00:20:00
day. Maybe maybe two or three times I
00:20:01
can vividly remember, but most of the
00:20:04
time I'd wake up and be like, "Yeah,
00:20:06
[ __ ] this." You know, what am I doing
00:20:07
out here? Especially near the end when
00:20:09
I'd be midway through a day and be I'd
00:20:12
almost just laugh to myself. I'm like,
00:20:13
what am I doing? Like, why am I here?
00:20:16
You know, but then I'd bring myself
00:20:17
back. I'll be like, okay, I know exactly
00:20:19
why I'm here. I know exactly why I'm
00:20:20
doing this. I know for whom. And my why
00:20:23
was just again, that was the biggest
00:20:25
thing, the biggest driver. So, that kept
00:20:27
me honest. But also having my crew
00:20:29
there, I would be so um black and white
00:20:32
with how I was feeling with them. Now, I
00:20:34
had my uncle um he actually, this is a
00:20:37
cool little story, he was essentially
00:20:38
the crew chief for Steve Gurnie, one of
00:20:41
the uh most decorated coast to coast
00:20:44
athletes in New Zealand's history. He
00:20:46
was one of the main crew chiefs for him.
00:20:47
And he told me about the system, saying
00:20:49
the 1 to 10 system, one being you need
00:20:51
to go to a hospital, 10 being you could
00:20:54
conquer the world. And I'll just share
00:20:56
that with the crew. Hey boys, I'm
00:20:57
feeling about a seven six. You know,
00:20:59
that's how I'm at. Um sometimes we'd go
00:21:01
deeper. Generally, we wouldn't. it would
00:21:03
just be like a bit of a metric for us to
00:21:05
kind of get a gauge as to where I'm at.
00:21:06
Um, and in another sense, I also had one
00:21:10
thing I can't forget is I had Sam Pendre
00:21:12
with me, one of my crew, but he was also
00:21:13
a pacer for me. So, a lot of those
00:21:16
sections too where it would be very
00:21:18
technical and very isolating. He would
00:21:19
actually come join a leg with me. So,
00:21:21
having him there alone was like a real
00:21:23
morale booster when I was in a dark
00:21:25
space. Sometimes, honestly, I'd love to
00:21:28
get his perspective on it. We we would
00:21:29
be out there for 8 hours and we wouldn't
00:21:31
even say a word, you know, sometimes
00:21:33
we'll just be in the zone. But having
00:21:34
him there was just enough to kind of
00:21:36
keep me, you know, all good, especially
00:21:38
when I was dark. Was that a was that a
00:21:40
like a safety thing as well in case you
00:21:42
fell off the side? Yeah, you could say
00:21:44
so. Safety thing. And it was also he was
00:21:46
part of um helping me to get the FKT cuz
00:21:49
that was the initial that was part of
00:21:50
the initial goal as well was finishing
00:21:52
it, but it was also getting the FKT, the
00:21:54
fastest snow in time. So covering from
00:21:57
Cape Panga to Bluff in the fastest time
00:21:58
that anyone's ever done ever done, but
00:22:00
that went out the door by day 28. So
00:22:04
yeah, which I'm sure we'll get to. Yeah.
00:22:07
Was that um Yeah. Did that bum you out?
00:22:09
Yeah, it did. It did at first, but I was
00:22:11
so quick to just be like, "Oh, good. I
00:22:13
know the main I know the main goal." I
00:22:14
knew that that was a um secondary goal.
00:22:17
Yeah. I was very quick to just shift
00:22:19
because I knew end of the day what I'm
00:22:21
going to quit or I'm going to be droopy.
00:22:23
I've still got so much time ahead of me.
00:22:24
kind of got no energy to be bummed out
00:22:27
by it. Yeah.
00:22:29
How did you manage to break it down into
00:22:31
like daily daily chunks? Because I'm I'm
00:22:32
just again I'm projecting if it was me
00:22:34
that was taking on a challenge like
00:22:35
this, I think I' I could handle running
00:22:37
like 50ks or 60ks in a day. But then the
00:22:41
prospect of I know it would be [ __ ]
00:22:43
hard though on its own. Yeah. But then
00:22:45
in my head I'd be like, "Oh, I can't I
00:22:47
can't keep doing this for another 100
00:22:48
days." Yeah. Yeah. You know, you know,
00:22:51
you get ahead of yourself. How did you
00:22:52
how did you manage to stay in the moment
00:22:54
in the day? Well, you you answered it.
00:22:56
That was I'd have to stay in the moment.
00:22:57
I'd have to stay in the day. The moment
00:22:59
I'd start thinking ahead, the moment I'd
00:23:01
start thinking about, you know, a month
00:23:02
away, two months away, it would just
00:23:04
I'll just get super overwhelmed. Uh
00:23:06
obviously, the mind would be going all
00:23:09
the way there. There would be times
00:23:11
where I'd be thinking um like, [ __ ]
00:23:14
what if I quit or what if I pull out or
00:23:16
what if I get injured or am I even going
00:23:18
to do this? This is constant chatter.
00:23:20
But every time that happened, I'll just
00:23:22
bring myself back to the footstep and
00:23:23
then okay, I'm here now. I'm in the
00:23:24
bush. I've just got to get through this
00:23:26
day. When I'd break it down into a day
00:23:28
though, I'd break it down into the legs.
00:23:30
So by that I mean I'd start at my cuz I
00:23:34
had used this the crew and I we used
00:23:36
this app. It was the Tadawa trail app
00:23:37
and it has the distance markers in any
00:23:40
given day. So say if I'm in Kittykitty,
00:23:42
that marker would have been maybe 258
00:23:45
kilometer marker. I'll meet the boys at
00:23:48
268. So 10k's away. So I'll just break
00:23:51
it down in my mind where I'd be like,
00:23:52
"Oh, okay. I'm going to be this 10k leg.
00:23:55
So let's just get through this leg. Um,
00:23:57
and by the time I get to the uh motor
00:23:59
home, I'll have some food. I have some
00:24:01
rest and can start again. I'll just
00:24:02
break it down into the legs." Um,
00:24:04
there'll be days though where I where it
00:24:07
would be in the bush. Um, and I'd be
00:24:08
away from the boys for maybe upwards to
00:24:10
three four days, which is something I
00:24:12
listened to in our podcast where I said,
00:24:14
"Oh, I'll be upwards for two days."
00:24:15
There's no there was sections where it
00:24:16
would be like three three and a half
00:24:18
days till I'd see the boys. So in those
00:24:20
instances what did you have like a
00:24:22
little you had like a little camel back
00:24:24
with a leg on it was it was like a fast
00:24:26
pack. It was a 32 L fast pack. So I had
00:24:29
my sleeping bag all that stuff and it
00:24:30
had like the front front flask holder uh
00:24:33
and it had my camel back my my bladder
00:24:35
in the back. So I had all of that. Um
00:24:37
Sam was with me for this specific leg as
00:24:39
well. Um that duration and we'll just
00:24:41
break it down to huts. getting to the
00:24:43
hearts would probably take four upwards
00:24:44
to six hours. Let's just get to that
00:24:46
heart. Let's have a quick rest, quick
00:24:48
food, and go again. So, it would be
00:24:50
breaking it down by legs. That was the
00:24:51
only way to kind of rationalize and
00:24:54
process the extent of what was ahead of
00:24:56
me. Especially when I was about 50 days
00:24:58
in, halfway allegedly, I'm like, [ __ ]
00:25:01
I'm only halfway. Like, it was it was
00:25:04
extreme. But again, I had to break it
00:25:05
down to the days. The mind wanders. You
00:25:08
can't stop the mind wandering. Uh that
00:25:10
was something I learned. You know, you
00:25:11
can have all the tools, you can have all
00:25:13
the practices, all the mantras, but when
00:25:15
your mind's going there, you can't stop
00:25:16
it. So, how do you deal with that when
00:25:19
your mind's overwhelmed with the
00:25:20
prospect of what's ahead? Okay, just
00:25:22
chunk it. Chunk it. Yeah. Yeah. Me
00:25:26
personally, when I've been doing um like
00:25:28
challenging events, and again, it's like
00:25:30
I'm I'm not comparing myself to you at
00:25:31
all, but when things get get hard, um I
00:25:35
almost come up with this narrative in my
00:25:36
mind like I I almost write the Instagram
00:25:38
post in my mind of what I'd say my
00:25:40
reason for for not finishing us. That's
00:25:44
that's kind of reverse psychology in a
00:25:46
way. No, it's it's really negative. It's
00:25:48
like you can you my point being you can
00:25:50
justify almost anything to yourself like
00:25:52
um you and and no one's going to no
00:25:54
one's going to question it or whatever
00:25:56
but um yeah true by the same token I
00:25:58
suppose you can retrain your mind to
00:26:00
just not be negative. Yeah. Yeah.
00:26:03
Interesting. I guess it's a lot of it
00:26:06
has to do as well with like your your
00:26:08
choice you know. Yeah. You can you can
00:26:10
train your mind to not be negative but
00:26:12
it's always going to be. It's got that
00:26:13
negative bias built in it, right? Cuz
00:26:15
it's a evolutionary mechanism allegedly.
00:26:18
So that's always going to be there, I
00:26:19
think. But it's how you choose to view
00:26:21
that negative selft talk. You know, end
00:26:24
of the day, I think we are the ones that
00:26:26
are um able to take the steps and do
00:26:29
that movement. The mind's going to say
00:26:30
what it's going to say, but you're still
00:26:32
the one that's going to do that thing.
00:26:33
So the more the more equipped I guess
00:26:35
the more patient the more self-aware you
00:26:37
are to be like okay well these are just
00:26:38
the thoughts which kind of came to the
00:26:40
whole impetus of why I was doing this
00:26:42
raise money for this foundation but to
00:26:44
show that dark days are inevitable are
00:26:46
inevitable dark times are inevitable how
00:26:49
you're able to uh sort of navigate that
00:26:52
and process through that is that's the
00:26:54
beauty of life I think you've got to
00:26:56
understand and it comes to what you're
00:26:57
saying now with those dark thoughts it's
00:26:59
always going to be there but how you
00:27:01
able to process how you're able to step
00:27:02
through it. That's where the magic
00:27:04
happens. Um, and in terms of nutrition,
00:27:07
like you what do you eat every day? Like
00:27:09
how can you how can you eat enough to
00:27:11
fuel the machine? You kind of can't. You
00:27:13
always been in a deficit. We we again I
00:27:15
listened back to our episode and I said
00:27:17
like, "Yeah, all this." Yeah. I'm not
00:27:19
going to have pasta. I'm not Dude, I had
00:27:21
pasta. I had white bread. I had French
00:27:23
toast. I had pancakes, chips. Oh, man.
00:27:26
If you could have seen my diet on this
00:27:29
on this on this bench on this tabletop,
00:27:31
you would be shocked. But the the body
00:27:34
was just utilizing it all. There was a
00:27:36
certain day I probably had close
00:27:39
to 10 fizzy drinks in one day. For
00:27:42
example, Coke, Bundberg, um you know
00:27:45
those caracas, the whole nine yards. So
00:27:47
it was it was carbs was the easiest.
00:27:50
Carbs came easy and then the rest was um
00:27:52
just making sure I had enough protein.
00:27:54
Protein was vital. I Mitchell's they
00:27:56
were my main sponsor. Mitchell's protein
00:27:58
powder. I use their stuff every single
00:28:00
day. the organ supplements and the
00:28:02
protein powder that was sort of
00:28:04
supplementary and then I had just like
00:28:06
mints. Uh I ended up not having food I
00:28:09
usually had which would be like steaks.
00:28:10
I didn't really want it for some reason.
00:28:12
I wanted just more simple digestible
00:28:14
mints. So it would be like nachos,
00:28:16
spaghetti bolognese, homemade burgers,
00:28:18
things like that. And then um fats came
00:28:21
easy because when you eat a lot of
00:28:22
processed food, you get a lot of fat
00:28:23
with that. So that was kind of my
00:28:25
dayto-day. And how it would look in a
00:28:26
day though would be morning um
00:28:29
breakfast, lunch, dinner. They all have
00:28:30
a primary meal. So breakfast would be
00:28:33
yeah as I said French toast, it would be
00:28:36
pancakes. It would be bacon and eggs
00:28:38
with four or five hash browns. Um and
00:28:41
then lunches would be like, you know,
00:28:43
wraps. Um it could have been noodles,
00:28:46
several packs of noodles with egg
00:28:48
chopped in with a protein shake. Um
00:28:51
things like that. Then dinners. Dinners
00:28:52
were the heartiest. We try to make it
00:28:54
the heartiest. Um Joel, who was the head
00:28:57
chef, main crew member, he got real
00:28:59
experimental, never end. Started making
00:29:01
like tortillas and wraps, nachos, like
00:29:04
it was it was full banquet meal, but
00:29:06
constantly eating throughout the day to
00:29:08
make sure that I would at least get
00:29:10
close to the 5,000 6,000 marker of
00:29:15
calories cuz I was losing probably
00:29:16
upwards of 7,000 in a day. So I'd always
00:29:19
kind of be in a deficit somewhat. But
00:29:20
the thing that was real fascinating was
00:29:22
I lost 10 kgs initially, probably
00:29:24
halfway through the mission and then by
00:29:26
the time I got to about month two and a
00:29:29
half, month three, I started to put
00:29:30
weight back on. So that told me I was
00:29:32
actually meeting the quota that I was
00:29:34
needing, which was a good thing. You
00:29:36
don't want to be coming out of something
00:29:37
like this completely and depleted like
00:29:40
from a weight perspective. Emanciated.
00:29:42
Yeah. So exactly you managed to put on
00:29:44
weight. Put on weight. Yeah. So I
00:29:45
managed to so I lost a 10 and then I put
00:29:48
about five on. So I came out almost
00:29:51
neutral neutral body weight. People like
00:29:54
Kan going, "Has he actually done it?
00:29:56
Dude's got fat." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hard.
00:29:58
That would have been hilarious if I put
00:30:00
on like that much weight. Yeah. It was a
00:30:03
good thing. It was a good thing cuz
00:30:04
again it takes It makes I listened to um
00:30:06
Dean Carasses and he actually spoke to
00:30:08
this. He's a Yeah. Ultra. He's one of my
00:30:11
one of my inspirations you could say.
00:30:14
And yeah, he actually said that himself
00:30:16
and I was like fascinating. So I kind of
00:30:18
made sure I probably started the thing
00:30:20
that made it happen was probably I was
00:30:21
having so many fizzy drinks you know I
00:30:23
should be sponsored by Bundberg honestly
00:30:25
Bundberg Ginger be I was having average
00:30:28
them alone probably three to four a day
00:30:30
just Bundberg perfect for Venora because
00:30:32
of a ginger so yeah amazing
00:30:35
Bundberg give him a call um yeah Dean
00:30:38
Kaneis who you're talking about he um he
00:30:40
became famous with his um bestselling
00:30:41
book called um it's called ultramarathon
00:30:44
man and his his his um sort of shtick if
00:30:46
you like early on was um he'd go for a
00:30:48
long run overnight and he'd take his
00:30:50
phone with him and like order a pizza
00:30:51
and then meet meet the pizza delivery
00:30:53
guy then roll the pizza up like a
00:30:54
burrito and eat it and then case while
00:30:57
he was running that's what was crazy you
00:30:58
know you would balance the yeah so so
00:31:02
what like an average um so you you're
00:31:04
just moving all day running all day
00:31:06
fueling all day um and average night
00:31:08
what did that look like yeah the the
00:31:10
sleeps were [ __ ] man like that was one
00:31:13
thing I was so pissed off at cuz I spoke
00:31:15
to other people shout outs to George
00:31:17
Henderson who actually holds currently
00:31:19
the FKT probably going to lose it now
00:31:21
the Carl Sab a Belgium guy um he said by
00:31:25
day by like two three weeks in he was
00:31:27
sleeping like a dream and he said oh I
00:31:29
spoke to everyone else same thing [ __ ]
00:31:31
man every night I'll get to bed but I'd
00:31:33
always wake up I'd just be jacked up
00:31:35
body was sore I'll never get a good
00:31:38
night's sleep so that was one thing I
00:31:40
was having to deal with every night
00:31:42
every day just knowing that [ __ ] man I'm
00:31:44
not even going to get a good
00:31:45
replenishing sleep, but you know, I
00:31:47
still went to bed usually around 9 9:30
00:31:50
p.m. wake up 5:30 a.m. That was usually
00:31:53
the that was kind of the Yeah, that was
00:31:56
the formula, so to say. Sometimes I
00:31:58
would have to wake up at 4:30 due to the
00:31:59
day ahead. It was just be have a day you
00:32:01
want to start early, but that was
00:32:03
generally the the nights and yeah, it
00:32:05
just sucked because sleep was never
00:32:06
really a a thing that would come and I'd
00:32:09
never feel replenished, you know. So,
00:32:12
bed by 9:30. What sort of time were you
00:32:14
finishing on the track each day? It
00:32:15
depend. Sometimes it would be 9:30 p.m.
00:32:18
1000 p.m. Um, generally I'd love to look
00:32:22
back probably probably 5:30 to 6:30.
00:32:26
That would be my mean time of finishing
00:32:28
most days. Yeah. The So then then those
00:32:32
on those days, those three hours before
00:32:34
bedtime. Yeah. Oh man, this is another
00:32:36
thing. Hey, the fact that I was trying
00:32:38
to raise money, the fact I was trying to
00:32:39
promote this thing, the fact I was
00:32:40
trying to get major outreach, it became
00:32:42
a job. I'd have to get home, I'd get the
00:32:44
pictures from Mark, I'd have a shower,
00:32:47
which in its own self was a chore
00:32:48
because we'd have to rig up, jerryrig
00:32:51
this shitty like shower unit or we'd
00:32:54
have to do like a soft bucket. We'd have
00:32:56
to heat the water up. I'd have to wait
00:32:57
for that. I'd be on my phone trying to
00:32:59
get the quote, get it get my caption all
00:33:01
sorted. It became a chore, man. You had
00:33:04
all day to think about your caption. I
00:33:05
know. Yeah, I know. I should have just
00:33:07
done audio audio messages now I think
00:33:09
about it. But hey, um and that was how
00:33:12
it looked. I'd have my shower, which is
00:33:14
it chore, then I'd have dinner and then
00:33:16
I'll do my um Instagram post. But it
00:33:18
became so arduous, so taxing to my body
00:33:21
that I almost was just going to be like,
00:33:23
"No, I just don't even want to do it."
00:33:24
But but if I was trying to raise a
00:33:26
million dollars, I would have to put
00:33:28
this content out there. And I think it
00:33:30
had to be coming from me. I couldn't I
00:33:32
couldn't sort of outsource it to the
00:33:33
crew. It just wouldn't have seemed
00:33:35
authentic. So I made sure to hold to
00:33:36
that. Obviously it started to that there
00:33:39
was more gaps as the mission got on
00:33:41
because it just wasn't practical if I
00:33:42
was out in the bush. I had no reception.
00:33:44
But that was how the evenings would
00:33:45
look. Um best time of day was when I
00:33:48
finished eating my food. I'd done my
00:33:50
post and I was just on bed resting
00:33:52
knowing that bed will come in half an
00:33:53
hour, 30 minutes, an hour. That was the
00:33:56
best time of day every day. Like the day
00:33:57
is done. Yes. Got through it. Yes. Now I
00:34:00
can just go to bed and just be here.
00:34:04
Yeah.
00:34:06
Yeah, when you whatever you do next,
00:34:09
maybe there's a better way of doing it.
00:34:10
Like um even if it's um one of your
00:34:12
crew, like just you know, hey Stefan,
00:34:14
how do you feel? Doing it that way so
00:34:15
you don't have to [ __ ] worry about
00:34:16
it. Yeah, big time. Like the only if
00:34:18
you're doing something that
00:34:20
um that daunting like the only thing on
00:34:23
your mind should be like doing the
00:34:24
actual thing big time. That you bring a
00:34:27
good point. That would be something I'll
00:34:29
change for next time. I would have I
00:34:31
would have set it up in a way where
00:34:33
Yeah. I didn't have to focus so much of
00:34:36
my energy, my brain energy on that. Um,
00:34:38
so next time, yeah, you bring up a very
00:34:41
good point. Yeah. What about the
00:34:42
relationship with the crew? Because this
00:34:44
is something we talked about in the
00:34:45
first chat we had. Um,
00:34:48
yeah. A lot of these sort of challenges
00:34:49
capitulate because Yeah. the crew ends
00:34:52
up having a a fight with the athlete and
00:34:54
because you you got to remember you're
00:34:56
busy all day doing the thing. Yeah. And
00:34:58
they're sitting there twiddling their
00:34:59
fingers and thumbs waiting in a camper
00:35:01
van driving to the next point. Um, but
00:35:03
you had no no issues, no personal
00:35:05
questions. Honestly, we we were so
00:35:06
dialed. Yeah, we were nothing. There's
00:35:09
nothing to even like if anything, if
00:35:12
anything, we got like too close, you
00:35:14
know? Let's just say, let's just say
00:35:17
there was moments where you're like, oo,
00:35:20
what's going on here? You know, we we
00:35:21
got comfortable. We were just just Yeah.
00:35:24
It got to the point where like there
00:35:27
there was nothing to hide. They just saw
00:35:29
the whole they saw all of me. Let's put
00:35:30
it that way, you know? like things
00:35:33
things just got so so out the gate
00:35:36
hilarious funny that we were just like
00:35:38
and I got no space to like I've just got
00:35:40
I've got to get changed there boys I've
00:35:42
got [ __ ] to do I'm just I'm you know
00:35:44
like it it was good I was happy unless
00:35:46
they were like blatantly lying to my
00:35:48
face nothing nothing went wrong. It was
00:35:50
probably a moment where Mark and Joel,
00:35:51
they actually best friends prior, they
00:35:54
had a they had like a play fight and it
00:35:56
got serious and they actually ended up
00:35:58
punching each other, but that that had
00:35:59
nothing to do with like the synergy of
00:36:01
the of the thing. It was just their own
00:36:03
thing. So, fortunately, that was okay.
00:36:06
Yeah, there was one actually I must
00:36:08
say, shout outs to Jesse. He came cuz
00:36:11
Mark had to leave the last three weeks.
00:36:14
Um, and then Joel's best mate, his mate
00:36:18
Jesse, he actually came in and filled
00:36:20
probably for about a week and a bit. And
00:36:22
like, yeah, he was there. He was all in.
00:36:25
He was dialed. He was so so dialed. And
00:36:28
then I I I see Joel one day and and I'm
00:36:31
like, "Yo, where's Jesse?" He's like,
00:36:32
"Oh, he's gone, bro." I'm like, "The
00:36:34
[ __ ] do you mean he's gone?" "Yeah, he's
00:36:37
just having some [ __ ] going on." And I'm
00:36:39
like, "What?" Like, "What do you mean,
00:36:41
bro?" Like, "Give me." and then he just
00:36:43
he just left with a week to go the line.
00:36:45
So if anything that would be of one uh
00:36:48
crew component that was a bit shifty but
00:36:51
he had his reasons and we we spoke about
00:36:53
it had nothing to do with us. It was his
00:36:55
own thing but that would have probably
00:36:56
been the only crew thing that went went
00:36:58
out of the gate and it was only a week
00:36:59
to go. Random he missed the victory lap.
00:37:03
You missed the good bit. Yeah, man. And
00:37:04
that's why I was gutted. I was like dude
00:37:06
like you've been so dialed like surely
00:37:09
one other week and Yeah. He just Yeah.
00:37:12
his own thing. Well, that must that
00:37:13
keeping the crew together, especially
00:37:15
for that period of time. Uh that must
00:37:17
say a lot about you. You must have been
00:37:18
quite respectful with them. Yeah. Uh I
00:37:21
think so. Did you ever lose your cool? I
00:37:22
mean, it's it's hard cuz if you you
00:37:24
know, you're always in pain. You're
00:37:25
always exhausted. Yeah. In a way, but
00:37:27
nothing out the gate. I was I think by
00:37:30
that point I was so regulated with my
00:37:32
emotions as dynamic and as intense as
00:37:34
they were, I never put it out on them.
00:37:36
And if I did, it was very honest. There
00:37:38
was one instance where this was the
00:37:40
start of the South Island. Um, it was
00:37:42
justified, let's put it that way. It was
00:37:44
the start of the South Island. I had Sam
00:37:46
with me on this leg. We did the Queen
00:37:47
Charlotte Trail 72K
00:37:49
uh leg. That was in one day. We get
00:37:52
there, we start cuz we had to get a
00:37:53
ferry taxi from Pikton that took us to
00:37:55
the head of Queen Charlotte Trail. So,
00:37:57
we already started that at about 9:45
00:38:00
a.m., which is the latest start we'd
00:38:01
ever done in the whole mission to run
00:38:03
72K. So, we did that. We were well um
00:38:07
you know in communication with the boys
00:38:08
as to when we're going to be meeting
00:38:10
them there. We get to the finished it
00:38:12
was about 9:30 p.m. The boys went there.
00:38:14
They're like, "Oh, we we we did this
00:38:17
post and it just took longer." And I saw
00:38:19
I was like, "Fuck, boys." Like quite
00:38:21
frankly, I don't give a [ __ ] about
00:38:23
Instagram and the post if it means that
00:38:25
it's going to um mean I'm getting later
00:38:28
to the motor home and I'm showering
00:38:30
later, I'm eating later. All that [ __ ]
00:38:32
goes to the side. like I need you to
00:38:33
focus on like my needs. Frankly, Sam
00:38:36
understood it and the boys that was the
00:38:38
only time where I was probably like
00:38:40
stern and angry at them, but they
00:38:42
completely took it on board. They
00:38:43
respected, they understood, which I was
00:38:45
grateful for. I hope I didn't come
00:38:47
across as a dick to them, but they said
00:38:48
no, it was justified. So, that was the
00:38:50
only real instance where it was like,
00:38:52
yo, there was a other couple things
00:38:54
where they came late. Um, but that was
00:38:56
just that was just things dialing in,
00:38:58
you know, they were still kind of
00:38:59
settling into their role as to how it
00:39:01
looked. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I'm I'm
00:39:04
again that grateful piece, man.
00:39:06
Like I'm just grateful that they were
00:39:09
abled and and willing to have stayed as
00:39:12
long as they did. Um I had a friend as
00:39:14
well, he mentioned, you know, it's a it
00:39:17
goes to show the the the key and the
00:39:19
component of having a team and how much
00:39:21
this things like this you need to have a
00:39:24
good team, you know. So, again, I was
00:39:25
blessed with that. Brilliant. Did you
00:39:28
did you have any um injuries? Yeah.
00:39:32
Yeah. Day two. Day two, man. Oh, no.
00:39:35
That obviously nothing that threatened
00:39:36
to derail the whole campaign. Wow.
00:39:39
That's the thing, man. Like when you're
00:39:41
in it, you're like, "Holy [ __ ] This
00:39:43
could derail the whole campaign,
00:39:44
especially on day two." Exactly. Like
00:39:47
nothing. Nothing real acute, let's put
00:39:49
it that way, where it would be like a
00:39:51
rolled ankle. It was chronic injuries
00:39:53
that came over time of just the
00:39:55
battering I was giving my body. So yeah,
00:39:58
day two, 90 mile beach, slight camber,
00:40:00
ever so slight ankle flared up, agony.
00:40:04
Day four, like nearly crying. I think I
00:40:06
did cry at one point in the day. You
00:40:08
know those ankle um calf guard
00:40:10
compression? Um I don't know what you
00:40:13
call them, socks. Yeah. Yeah. I put that
00:40:15
on the start of the day. By the end of
00:40:17
the day, I I was so close. I would have
00:40:19
had to have cut them because the
00:40:20
swelling was so intense. I had Sam
00:40:23
trying to like pull them off. I'm like,
00:40:24
"Nah, no, no, get out. I'll I'll sort
00:40:26
it, bro." I didn't want to cut them, but
00:40:28
I was very close to. And like dealing
00:40:29
with that day four, it was so
00:40:31
overwhelming for my brain to be like,
00:40:33
"How the heck am I going to get through
00:40:35
this thing if already I'm in
00:40:37
excruciating pain day four so injured?"
00:40:40
And then somehow I was just like, "Well,
00:40:42
this is it. This is why I'm doing it."
00:40:43
That was one instance. There was another
00:40:45
instance when I did the Tim Hima trail,
00:40:46
which was around not far from kind of in
00:40:50
the Talpo region heading towards um Tom
00:40:54
Renui way. Yeah, exactly. Correct. Yeah.
00:40:56
Yeah. Real big for mountain bikers.
00:40:58
Huge. Huge. And that was a huge leg as
00:41:00
well. The last portion of that leg was
00:41:02
about 34k and at that point I'd already
00:41:05
done um 50 60 70. Yeah. I'd already done
00:41:08
about 42 about a marathon's worth. So I
00:41:10
had to finish off the day. Ended up
00:41:12
being a 77k day. That last leg I had
00:41:15
another injury come up. And like that
00:41:17
was a moment too where it was I I I did
00:41:20
kind of you know a few tears came out my
00:41:22
eyes just cuz it was just it felt like
00:41:24
too much and I had to work through that.
00:41:26
But that was one moment again where I
00:41:28
was like [ __ ] what am I doing here? Like
00:41:30
why am I here? You know I all this
00:41:32
processing and the injury it was it was
00:41:35
preventing me from just getting a solid
00:41:36
gate. But it got to the point I had Sam
00:41:38
with me on this last leg too which was a
00:41:40
a godsend. Um having him there and just
00:41:43
seeing him in his rhythm he was fresh.
00:41:45
seen him move so fluidly, I was like,
00:41:47
"Okay, I've just got to just got to
00:41:49
stick with him." You know, I can't get
00:41:50
rescued. I can't get out of here. The
00:41:52
boys can't come to pick me. I just need
00:41:53
to keep moving. You know, those were
00:41:55
those were very specific instances where
00:41:57
the injuries just were like, you know,
00:41:59
how how can I how can I do this? Um, and
00:42:02
there was other areas too where my
00:42:05
ankle, like cuz the terrain was so
00:42:08
variant, I I'll take a step and my ankle
00:42:12
just would never roll. It happened
00:42:13
probably 10 15 times where it's like
00:42:14
[ __ ] how did my ankle not roll just
00:42:16
then so many times where that would have
00:42:18
been game over, but it just didn't
00:42:20
happen. So that was more luck more than
00:42:21
anything. But yeah, it was those few
00:42:23
injuries that just Yeah, the body's just
00:42:25
so adaptive. You know, if you just keep
00:42:27
going and it's not a break and you you
00:42:30
haven't snapped something, you can Yeah,
00:42:32
you can work through a lot.
00:42:35
Yeah, it's incredible. Yeah, it really
00:42:37
is. So, what was your biggest day and
00:42:39
and your shortest day?
00:42:42
Shortest day would have been the um
00:42:44
would have been the um
00:42:46
Tadors. Biggest day would have been
00:42:48
probably the Timber Trail. 70 77k day.
00:42:51
What was the Tador? Tadors. Yeah. So
00:42:54
that was the day I got rescued. Yeah.
00:42:56
Sam and I we got rescued. Um it was 20
00:42:59
23k. What was that? Yeah. You were chop
00:43:01
it out, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just
00:43:03
just so Yeah. So the Tador is that's
00:43:04
near sort of Palmus Northway. Yeah.
00:43:06
Correct. Yeah. Heading Yeah, exactly.
00:43:08
heading towards um Wellington and you're
00:43:11
you're you're just on the cusp of that
00:43:12
region. Um yeah, so we went in super
00:43:16
underprepared in in in hindsight, but at
00:43:18
the time we're like, "Yeah, let's move
00:43:19
quick." We had our shorts. Well, I had
00:43:21
my shorts, had my socks, had my shoes,
00:43:24
um had my t-shirt, had my backpack, and
00:43:26
had a shitty rain jacket. I had one set
00:43:29
of dehydrated food. And our plan was to
00:43:32
get through the whole Tador ranges,
00:43:34
which to those that don't know, it's
00:43:37
you're looking at close to 5,000 meters
00:43:39
elevation gain. Um, and I think it's
00:43:42
about 80k 80k worth. So that's a big
00:43:45
shift. Big shift. But you're you're
00:43:47
dealing with ridge lines. It's not
00:43:48
runnable. You're hiking. To do that in
00:43:51
one day is is is extreme, you know. So
00:43:53
we went in with that mentality. And by
00:43:55
the time we're about 4 hours in, we're
00:43:58
like, [ __ ] this weather is bad. We're
00:43:59
like, let's keep pressing on. Bad as in
00:44:01
like stormy or zero visibility. Yeah,
00:44:04
zero visibility. Um, I guess you
00:44:06
couldn't say stormy, but zero
00:44:08
visibility. It started to hail. Um, you
00:44:10
started to get some crosswinds that were
00:44:12
just like, yeah, I haven't experienced
00:44:14
anything like it. That coupled with hail
00:44:16
slapping your face, like little little
00:44:18
like little flicks constantly the whole
00:44:20
time, you know, little burns. Little
00:44:22
burns. And then we got on this ridge
00:44:24
line and and it was that point where I
00:44:25
looked at my hands and I was like, "Holy
00:44:28
shit." My hands were like nearly white.
00:44:30
I don't know if you know what reayoords
00:44:32
is. Oh, I have it. Do you? Yeah, I have
00:44:34
reards. Yeah. Oh, [ __ ] Well, you know,
00:44:36
exactly. I literally I literally had
00:44:38
that on both hands. I didn't get reoords
00:44:40
too, but my hand it was almost like
00:44:42
right. All my hands were like white.
00:44:44
That was when I was like, "Holy [ __ ]
00:44:46
this is serious [ __ ] now." But because I
00:44:48
was moving, I knew I I wouldn't go
00:44:51
hypotherm. just had to keep moving. So,
00:44:53
we got to the hut and it was that point
00:44:55
it went all downhill for me. My I had a
00:44:57
emergency blanket that ripped. Sam was
00:44:59
okay cuz his blanket was intact and it
00:45:01
was a better quality one. We got our
00:45:03
food in and it was at that point where
00:45:05
it's like, okay, so at this point it was
00:45:07
23ks were done and then yeah, we we were
00:45:09
there shivering. We had to make the
00:45:11
call. Okay, well these are our options.
00:45:13
We ether keep going, which is more
00:45:15
exposure, go back out in the cold. We've
00:45:17
cooled down so we have to heat up. So
00:45:19
that's a factor. We have to get this
00:45:20
food in us. That's something we've got
00:45:23
no food left to carry us going. Um, and
00:45:26
we can't go back or we pull the pin and
00:45:30
realize that we have to be rescued. So,
00:45:31
we obviously did the the um the ladder
00:45:34
because the what the
00:45:37
lad the So, what do you do? You have
00:45:39
like a a sat. Yeah. It's like a like a
00:45:41
little gin in reach. So, it's
00:45:43
technically not a PLB per se, but it has
00:45:45
a SOS beacon. Um, so yeah, we did that
00:45:48
and it was a seven-hour process of back
00:45:51
and forth communication. Bless Sam. I
00:45:53
was in my I was in my blanket, that
00:45:56
wasn't even a blanket, shriveled up,
00:45:58
like genuinely scared for my life cuz I
00:46:01
thought I was going to get hypothermia.
00:46:02
Freezing trying to keep myself cool. And
00:46:05
Sam was trying to get the signal out.
00:46:08
You know, this is a 7-hour process of
00:46:10
dealing with the rescue services. They
00:46:12
weren't going to come because the
00:46:13
weather was far too volatile, far too
00:46:16
dangerous for their choppers. And
00:46:17
eventually we got in, well the rescue
00:46:20
services, Lanca, I believe they got in
00:46:22
touch with um the Air Force and they
00:46:24
sent NH90 to come and extract us after
00:46:27
about 7 hours of this back and forth
00:46:29
communication line. Uh yeah, man. It was
00:46:31
it was real deal [ __ ] like thinking
00:46:34
being in your head in a place of like
00:46:36
[ __ ] I'm going to die. I could possibly
00:46:38
die. Like it was it was intense to deal
00:46:40
with. And then that coupled with being
00:46:42
cold. But knowing that we're in the
00:46:44
heart, knowing that these guys would at
00:46:45
least come to us if it meant them hiking
00:46:47
up. Hey, at least we had that. We just
00:46:49
have to drive this out. It'll be an
00:46:51
uncomfortable night, but it'll be
00:46:52
possible. I can we can get through this.
00:46:54
You know, there was a point too where I
00:46:55
was like, yo, like Sammy, I think we
00:46:57
might have to like just spoon each
00:46:59
other, you know, might have to get each
00:47:01
other's body heat. I was like, if this
00:47:03
is the case, and this is the case, man,
00:47:04
this is what we have to deal with. Um,
00:47:06
but fortunately, it didn't go there. We
00:47:08
got rescued in time. But yeah, so that
00:47:10
that being our our shortest day.
00:47:13
Yes. So you get airlifted off and then
00:47:16
what? Get airlifted off and then we have
00:47:19
to obviously process what happened. The
00:47:23
um air force were actually quite
00:47:24
gracious. They didn't give us any [ __ ]
00:47:26
for what happened. They they they went
00:47:28
there was a report that Lancar did um as
00:47:30
to what went wrong. We just let them
00:47:32
know. We're completely underprepared.
00:47:33
Completely our own fault. We didn't
00:47:35
Yeah. We didn't divert any of the blame.
00:47:38
Uh so yeah, that was part of that. And
00:47:40
then the next day we went into town and
00:47:42
basically just got better supplies,
00:47:43
better equipped. Um that night I
00:47:45
actually cried cuz I was overwhelmed
00:47:47
about having to go out there the next
00:47:49
day. So we had that day off to get
00:47:51
supplies and then we had to go out the
00:47:53
following morning and that was the first
00:47:55
time on the mission where I actually
00:47:56
like freaked out. I felt I'm out of my
00:47:57
depth there. I can't do this. This is
00:47:59
too much. And had to work through that.
00:48:02
had the [ __ ] of sleep that night because
00:48:03
I couldn't sleep because I was so
00:48:04
focused on thinking about what we're
00:48:06
going to have to do. And then yeah, we
00:48:08
went out again that same day, but we had
00:48:10
to turn around again because the weather
00:48:11
was just too volatile. It was too
00:48:13
adverse. So, we were like, nah, like
00:48:16
we've been here. We know what we're in
00:48:17
for. It's just it's just I think there
00:48:19
was a part of it too. I was just too I
00:48:21
was just too traumatized. Let's put it
00:48:23
that way. I was too shook up. I didn't
00:48:25
think I had it in me to go back out
00:48:26
there. Had I gone out there on a fresh
00:48:28
day in that sort of weather with the
00:48:29
gear I had that we had, I could have
00:48:31
done it. We could have, but I was I was
00:48:33
too shook up, you know. It was still
00:48:35
hailing as well. So, I was like, nah.
00:48:37
Like, I'm not com I'm not confident. I'm
00:48:39
not comfortable. Yeah. Like some mild
00:48:42
PTSD or something in a way. Yeah. And
00:48:44
that there was at that moment where I
00:48:46
was like, okay, the um FKT is officially
00:48:50
done cuz I had to turn around and do a
00:48:52
reroute. The moment you do a reroute,
00:48:54
you're it's not allegible as a official
00:48:56
FKT. So it was that moment where I was
00:48:58
like, well man, this is I want to do
00:49:00
this thing and this is the and I
00:49:02
realized in that moment that's mission
00:49:03
is bigger than me now. I'm just doing
00:49:04
this thing. This is like this is like a
00:49:06
a momentum. This is like a life lesson
00:49:08
that I think I'll hold for the rest of
00:49:10
my life where you have something you're
00:49:12
so fixated on one thing but you have to
00:49:14
divert, change course and get after it
00:49:17
another way. Still get after it but get
00:49:18
after it in another angle. So yeah. Such
00:49:21
a bummer though. Yeah, it was. It
00:49:23
sucked. Like I was gutted, but I was
00:49:26
like, "Well, just got to keep moving,
00:49:28
you know." Yeah. What do you do? Did you
00:49:30
Oh, did you did you get lost many times?
00:49:33
Never. Never lost in the sense like went
00:49:36
off course or went a different route and
00:49:38
I was like, "Oh, shit." Never. Never
00:49:39
lost cuz I had the app, had my phone.
00:49:42
Um, and there was markers along the way.
00:49:44
Mostly. Mostly. There was moments where
00:49:47
I took a wrong turn because there was a
00:49:49
marker, but it turned out to be another
00:49:50
marker and a fork. And that would
00:49:52
frustrate me cuz it would add extra K
00:49:53
and a half. Uh but yeah, never never
00:49:56
lost in the in the true sense of the
00:49:58
word cuz I've done parts of the trail
00:49:59
and and in some parts there's um those
00:50:01
those metal poles I think they're called
00:50:03
warars. They're just like spray painted
00:50:05
orange at the top and they'll have them
00:50:06
every couple hundred meters and it's at
00:50:08
times it's you're like am I on the right
00:50:10
path? Am I on the right path big time?
00:50:12
That that would happen. That's when we
00:50:13
would have to just bring out our phone
00:50:14
or or you could generally see okay
00:50:17
there's a path here and then you end up
00:50:18
seeing it. But there was definitely
00:50:20
moments where you have to you second
00:50:22
guess for sure especially when you're in
00:50:23
like the deep bush you know there's like
00:50:26
not a marked path per se and you're like
00:50:28
holy [ __ ] There was m one moment in
00:50:30
particular where I went off course in
00:50:33
such a way and somehow my app wasn't
00:50:36
lining up to the course and I was like
00:50:38
oh okay but it was only a five minute
00:50:41
lost scenario. Oh see I'd be furious
00:50:44
about that. Yeah. 5 minutes of that and
00:50:46
I was like, "Okay, sweet. I'm all good."
00:50:47
And I found the path again. Yeah. Um
00:50:51
Yeah. And what about um memorable
00:50:54
interactions or conversations with
00:50:55
strangers? Yeah. Big time. You bump into
00:50:57
heaps of heaps of cool people. Yeah. It
00:50:59
seems like the crew got more of that
00:51:00
than me. Um but I definitely had some
00:51:03
memorable interactions. There was one
00:51:04
instance where it was actually uh when
00:51:06
we were in Kitaya, there was a this old
00:51:08
fellow that came up and he saw the
00:51:10
mission, the long path. He's like,
00:51:11
"Fuck." He was like, "Fuck the long
00:51:13
path.
00:51:14
No one wants to do the long path, you
00:51:16
know. We're sick of, you know, we're
00:51:18
sick of the long path. And I got
00:51:20
talking. I'm like, well, brother, it's
00:51:21
the long path that brings us to the most
00:51:23
meaning, the most change, the most, you
00:51:25
know, difference. You know, it's it's
00:51:26
the long path that we need to take in
00:51:28
life sometimes. And he he he agreed. And
00:51:30
then he actually stopped and spoke to us
00:51:32
and just laid it all out to us. Spoke
00:51:34
about his family, spoke about I think I
00:51:36
think it may be his son or his nephew
00:51:38
that took his life. He just opened up to
00:51:40
us. just open book just shared this
00:51:42
journey with us, shared his his traumas,
00:51:44
his pains and hearing that so early on
00:51:47
just gave me more fuel for the mission.
00:51:49
That was a real distinct moment. And
00:51:50
there was another instance where I met
00:51:53
um when you walk the Tadawa trail, you
00:51:56
either go northbound or southbound. And
00:51:58
then the colloial term that they have is
00:52:01
you're either a nobo or you're a sobo.
00:52:04
Sobo being southbound, nobo being
00:52:06
northbound. So I would meet people that
00:52:08
were noobs
00:52:10
uh as I was coming down and then I'd
00:52:12
meet them back again and have these
00:52:14
interactions real real great
00:52:16
interactions and there was one instance
00:52:18
where I met a lady that was a no-bo and
00:52:19
I'd got to bluff came back and she was
00:52:22
like oh my god Stefan we had like a
00:52:25
great conversation she had about her you
00:52:27
know her journey and she was an older
00:52:29
lady too like probably in her mid60s um
00:52:31
so instances like that but I'd love to
00:52:34
um hear it from the boys cuz they had
00:52:36
much more interactions like that in
00:52:39
Tlanui tooli. The lady gave me um cash
00:52:43
on the road cuz I told her I got offered
00:52:45
lift probably three four times in that
00:52:47
city alone. Real real interesting
00:52:49
dynamic in that little place of New
00:52:51
Zealand. And then the boys had instances
00:52:53
all the time where people would come up
00:52:54
to them gas stations, give them cash,
00:52:56
they would stop and talk, share their
00:52:58
story. And sorry, there's one other
00:53:00
instance too in Benham. Um shout outs to
00:53:02
Damian. Uh he's he was actually a
00:53:05
recovering meth addict. amazing story
00:53:07
and he's gone deep down the path of um
00:53:11
what would you say male empowerment
00:53:13
let's put it that way he's focused
00:53:15
massively on mental health for men and
00:53:18
just men allowing to be men um he opened
00:53:21
up and shared his story with me and
00:53:22
another lady in the same day probably an
00:53:24
hour apart stellar amazing woman she
00:53:28
confessed that she actually attempted to
00:53:29
take her life and she turned her life
00:53:31
around and um now has three kids and is
00:53:33
on this path of discovering herself So
00:53:36
those sorts of interactions they it
00:53:38
makes it more it makes it easier to
00:53:40
endure what I was enduring and just
00:53:42
having them share so honestly and so
00:53:44
rawly their their story their instances.
00:53:48
Yeah. It's incredibly powerful. Yeah. Um
00:53:50
and I suppose people see what you're
00:53:52
doing and they they know discover what
00:53:54
your why is and it sort of creates that
00:53:56
um like vulnerability exchange. Um yeah.
00:53:59
Oh. So what is what's the easiest way to
00:54:01
do it? So or nobo?
00:54:05
I suppose I suppose you'd say no because
00:54:07
you would you know you've already done
00:54:09
half of it so yeah I'd say it's hard for
00:54:11
you to have a balanced opinion on Yeah.
00:54:13
Yeah. I would probably say no bow.
00:54:16
It's hard maybe. Yeah.
00:54:19
Because Yeah. cuz I think it's more
00:54:22
punchy and you've got the leadup to like
00:54:26
what you're going through and then it's
00:54:27
like hard and then it's all downhill so
00:54:30
to say like you get through the hard
00:54:32
part which is Tadoras Richmond Rangers
00:54:34
and uh wild past other big three that's
00:54:37
at the end of the South Island the
00:54:39
beginning end of the north island
00:54:40
beginning of the South Island then it's
00:54:42
all downhill so to say to the finish
00:54:43
when you do it no bro you kind have to
00:54:45
get through that then you've still got
00:54:46
the whole country ahead I don't know it
00:54:48
depends how you look at it but I would
00:54:50
say Um uh nobo uh sobo would have been
00:54:53
probably the more uh forgiving way,
00:54:57
easier way, better way. Is that is that
00:54:59
what the world's hardest skis is doing?
00:55:00
Is he doing sobo? Yeah, he'll be doing
00:55:01
sobo. Yeah, a [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah.
00:55:06
Tag tag.
00:55:08
Yeah. Let's Hey, let's clip this. Yeah.
00:55:11
Um that'll hopefully get him, you know.
00:55:14
Yeah. Um Yeah. Would you want to Would
00:55:16
you want to do some legs with them?
00:55:18
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. clip that definitely.
00:55:21
Um, what about um mantras or anything?
00:55:23
Do you have any mantras that you or
00:55:25
things that you said to yourself over
00:55:26
and over again through the um well not
00:55:29
necessarily mantras but just like you
00:55:31
know I'm Jerome Jerome you know I'm here
00:55:34
uh thank you God thank you body that's
00:55:36
something I actually do a lot in races
00:55:38
too um I'd be grateful to the body I'd
00:55:40
pray every single day um that would help
00:55:42
me so much man like cuz yeah I'm just
00:55:45
remembering why I'm doing this it's my
00:55:47
reminder
00:55:48
mantras not so much but just like selft
00:55:51
talk it was always a selft talk you know
00:55:52
I'm in this I'm doing this, you know,
00:55:54
I'm in this. I'm doing this. I'm in
00:55:56
this. That was one that would be
00:55:57
reoccurring, especially when I was in a
00:55:58
real dark space. Okay, this is why I'm
00:56:01
doing this. This is why this is why.
00:56:03
That would be like my Yeah. echoing self
00:56:06
talk. And the last couple of kilometers
00:56:09
like along um along the path to the the
00:56:12
lighthouse at Cape Ranger, what the [ __ ]
00:56:14
was that like, bro? That was it was it
00:56:16
was ecstatic. I was so so lucky that I
00:56:20
had uh Jerome's two best mates, Maurice
00:56:23
and Tom. They joined me for a few legs,
00:56:26
but they joined me specifically for this
00:56:28
last portion. They met me on that last
00:56:30
bit of the beach. We just hugged and we
00:56:32
just ran it out and just it was just it
00:56:34
was bliss, man. Like when I saw the
00:56:36
lighthouse, I started welling up. I was
00:56:39
like I was like just like [ __ ] it's
00:56:41
there. I'm like, "Oh my gosh." Like that
00:56:44
was intense emotions. Very intense. So
00:56:47
much elation and then I saw my mom she
00:56:49
was like Stefan came and hugged me
00:56:52
amazing feeling but when I saw the
00:56:54
lighthouse
00:56:56
yeah like I could only put it up to like
00:56:59
say you know when his belt back like I'd
00:57:03
imagine it would have felt like like to
00:57:05
explain it I I'd love to talk to him and
00:57:08
ask him but I would imagine that that's
00:57:09
what it would have felt like is probably
00:57:11
what I felt like like I did this
00:57:13
seemingly impossible thing and it was
00:57:15
done it was
00:57:16
you know, I'd achieved it. Obviously,
00:57:18
not like how I planned, not how I had it
00:57:21
in my mind, but I'd done it. And I had
00:57:24
my family there and I had the LCP boys
00:57:26
there and I had some support there. I
00:57:27
had one of my best mates there, Jack.
00:57:29
Um, just it's like I'd done it, you
00:57:32
know? It was just such an amazing
00:57:33
feeling. If you could encapsulate that,
00:57:36
honestly, you would be a
00:57:37
multi-billionaire.
00:57:39
That that sort of state. But to get to
00:57:42
that, I had to go through so much [ __ ]
00:57:45
your four months, you know, four months.
00:57:47
Most people listen be like, "Oh, is it
00:57:48
worth it?" They're having that feeling
00:57:50
after that's that's it goes to show that
00:57:52
you Yeah, I think you you have more of
00:57:54
the bad times when you do the good. And
00:57:56
I think that's a harsh thing with life.
00:57:58
But if the more you can find peace in
00:58:00
the in the bad times and that they're
00:58:02
there to teach you, they're valuable.
00:58:04
They're not throwaway days, you know,
00:58:06
every hard day, you know, you know what
00:58:08
it's like. Say even put in the term of
00:58:09
going for a run. You know, I saw your
00:58:12
post I think the other day like you
00:58:13
never want to get out of bed, but when
00:58:15
you do, you never regret it. I feel
00:58:17
there's kind of a that's a glimmer as to
00:58:20
what it's like, but except it's
00:58:21
obviously extended into this big chunk
00:58:24
of time. And then you finish. And what
00:58:26
does what does that night look like? Do
00:58:28
you do you sleep peacefully knowing that
00:58:30
you don't have to get up the next day?
00:58:31
Yeah. Do you go for dinner with your
00:58:32
family? And No, my family had to go cuz
00:58:35
mom had school, I think, leading in so
00:58:37
she had to go. But I had I had the crew
00:58:39
had a few beers. We got some pizzas,
00:58:41
laughed, celebrated. Um going into bed,
00:58:44
it was it was a cool feeling, man. I'm
00:58:47
like, "Oh my gosh, it's done. Job done."
00:58:49
So satisfying. You know, I don't have to
00:58:52
run tomorrow. Like I don't have to I
00:58:54
could I don't have to. It was an insane
00:58:57
feeling. Like the the
00:59:00
morning, beg you pardon, the last
00:59:03
morning, the last day, that was a
00:59:05
morning where I woke up. I'm like, "Oh
00:59:07
my god." Like, in the scheme of things,
00:59:09
I've only got to run 40k, which for some
00:59:10
is still a long way, but only 40k today.
00:59:14
Oh my god. It was flat on the sand. It's
00:59:16
flat. Yeah, exactly. And I've got I had
00:59:19
a few of the crew there with me to to
00:59:21
run at Sam as well cuz he he'd had to
00:59:24
leave in the cargo and he joined me the
00:59:26
last three days, which was amazing to
00:59:28
have him. Um but yeah, that last bit man
00:59:31
it was just yeah there's no words really
00:59:35
just joy man pure ecstasy pure gratitude
00:59:39
bliss all the positive sensations you
00:59:42
know there was and then only after the
00:59:44
fact where I started to feel like a
00:59:45
sense of grief started to feel a sense
00:59:47
of almost depression um sadness uh that
00:59:51
came after a couple days after uh so
00:59:54
yeah why do you think that was
00:59:57
I think focusing been so much on this
01:00:00
thing for so long. Giving everything to
01:00:03
it, my physical and my spiritual and my
01:00:05
mental um well-being and having a crew
01:00:09
for so long, being with that same group
01:00:11
of people for so long, all those things
01:00:14
that to be just gone, severed. It's
01:00:16
done. Uh yeah, it kind of felt like a
01:00:20
sense of meaninglessness.
01:00:22
What now? You know what? Like all the
01:00:25
noise is gone. you know, no one's saying
01:00:28
like, well, good job. No, you know, it's
01:00:30
just done. It's dead. So, I think all
01:00:32
those factors uh and I think it required
01:00:35
me to reflect and I'm still am
01:00:37
reflecting. I'm writing. I'm trying to
01:00:38
write a lot. Even this podcast, it's a
01:00:40
sense of reflection. It's bringing up
01:00:42
things that I haven't really thought
01:00:43
about. Um, I think it's required me to
01:00:45
stop and process and sit with it and be
01:00:48
at peace because end of the day, uh,
01:00:51
this is where I think you start, you
01:00:53
know, let's have a drug drug um, addict
01:00:56
analogy here that you keep chasing the
01:00:57
dragon. I've just got to make sure to be
01:01:00
like, okay, next thing, next thing. It's
01:01:01
like, no, sit back, relax in a sense,
01:01:04
process. It's forced me to stop. Yeah,
01:01:07
forced me to stop. It's funny you should
01:01:08
bring that up because I was going to say
01:01:09
the exact same thing cuz when you came
01:01:10
in for the podcast the first time um you
01:01:14
said you started like endurance sport
01:01:15
because um you needed to escape your in
01:01:18
your words deplorable habits and you
01:01:20
talked about um you drug addiction,
01:01:22
alcohol, pornography, all those things.
01:01:25
Um yeah, you don't want to fall into
01:01:27
that trap of like just trying to up
01:01:29
yourself every time with these extreme
01:01:31
events cuz I suppose that in itself is a
01:01:33
form of potential addiction. Big time.
01:01:35
Big time. It's a funny it's it's the
01:01:37
caveat I think of everyone everyone
01:01:39
faces in the endurance community whether
01:01:41
you're a triathlete ultra runner how do
01:01:43
you manage that how do you balance that
01:01:45
and the more you can go forward towards
01:01:47
something that's bringing of meaning of
01:01:49
value I think you're in the right pocket
01:01:51
so for me now it's like okay just rest
01:01:54
digest so to say and next thing will
01:01:57
come it'll come um I've got an idea but
01:02:01
it'll come when it comes the right time
01:02:02
will emerge just don't want to chase it
01:02:04
though don't want to become like you you
01:02:06
know like another I don't want it to
01:02:07
become my idol you know what I mean and
01:02:09
and you also don't want it to become a a
01:02:12
burden I suppose the natural question is
01:02:13
for people people to ask you what's next
01:02:15
and even if there is no next that's fine
01:02:20
as well you'd want to do something
01:02:22
because you want to do something not
01:02:23
because you feel pressure to do it
01:02:25
because yeah that's so true I remember
01:02:28
listening to Ned Brockman say those
01:02:29
exact words as you played them that you
01:02:32
it's got to be for you cuz he can agree
01:02:34
with this and I can agree is that when
01:02:36
you're doing something where you're
01:02:37
pushing your body to that limit very
01:02:40
quickly, extrinsic motivation is going
01:02:43
to cease. It's got to be I think it has
01:02:46
to be because when your back's against
01:02:48
the wall, why are you doing it? Oh, cuz
01:02:50
everyone Well, then that's going to
01:02:51
dwindle so quick, you know? It has to
01:02:54
come from inside. It has to be of
01:02:55
something of value and provide something
01:02:57
of value to others. And that's ties into
01:02:59
this whole thing, right? It's for the
01:03:01
for the men ultimately, women too, 100%.
01:03:03
But men and my
01:03:06
brother, he he he went through what he
01:03:08
went through. And how can we stop that
01:03:10
and right now I know that doing this for
01:03:13
men and doing this in that space, that's
01:03:16
where it's got to be. That's where the
01:03:17
attention's got to go and that's where
01:03:18
my energyy's going to go. So yeah, I'm
01:03:20
just I'm patient, man. I'm not in any
01:03:22
rush. Uh but I must admit, I'm keen to
01:03:25
get training again because I got I got
01:03:26
an event coming up, a race. Um hopefully
01:03:30
I'll be all good, but if not, again, I
01:03:31
don't care. I'll wait. Uh but yeah, I'm
01:03:34
keen to get moving again. But it's it's
01:03:36
been good, man. The recovery, even just
01:03:38
being here reflecting, it helps. It
01:03:40
actually really helps. Yeah. Your own
01:03:42
mental health, you good good. As I said,
01:03:44
it was a bit dark those those weeks and
01:03:47
a bit. Um but good, man. I'm I'm
01:03:50
energized. Yeah. And yeah, you knew
01:03:53
Jerome um
01:03:56
like better than almost anyone. So, I
01:03:58
think you could, it's safe to um say you
01:04:00
can answer this answer this question
01:04:02
with a degree of accuracy. Um yeah, what
01:04:04
would he think?
01:04:06
He would be like, "Fuck." That would be
01:04:09
his language. He'll just be like, "Fuck,
01:04:12
unreal. Amazing." He'd be happy. He'd be
01:04:15
stoked. He would He would be He would be
01:04:19
proud. I know Jerome. Uh yeah, he was
01:04:22
always always so supportive of my
01:04:24
endeavors. all of our family and he'll
01:04:27
just be so supportive. He'll be like,
01:04:28
"Mean, brother, you're all in." He
01:04:31
probably wouldn't get it as to why, but
01:04:34
he would be stoked. Yeah. Yeah. You're
01:04:37
you're deeply um spiritual. Did were
01:04:40
were there times on the Tiad Trail that
01:04:42
you could sort of feel his presence or
01:04:43
sense his presence or Yeah. Yeah. How
01:04:46
how did that look? Was it a like a tuy
01:04:48
in a tree or was it a sunrise or the
01:04:51
sky? Skies, clouds, and horses. seeing
01:04:54
horses. Drum loved horses, especially
01:04:56
never latter part of his um life. He
01:04:59
loved horses. Whenever I'd see a horse,
01:05:00
I'd be like, "Yeah, it would just have
01:05:03
that sense of warmth, you know." And
01:05:04
then it was sometimes through when I
01:05:07
would the odd times I'd listen to music
01:05:09
and there was one instance where a song
01:05:10
would come on that was his song uh and
01:05:13
it would just be like Yeah. just start
01:05:15
crying with the motion, you know. Yeah.
01:05:18
Yeah. It seems like there was a lot of a
01:05:19
lot of tears. Yeah. Yeah. What do you
01:05:21
reckon? Most most days or every second
01:05:23
day? No, I've just shared I've just
01:05:26
happened to share it that I have. No,
01:05:28
honest surprisingly probably five five
01:05:30
six times where it would be like
01:05:32
instances. There was one day in
01:05:33
particular. It was just after Your pass
01:05:36
South Island. It was just before a goat
01:05:39
pass. That was the shittest day I'd
01:05:40
probably had the whole mission. Um I was
01:05:43
just overwhelmed, you know, everything
01:05:45
compounding, everything collapsing on
01:05:47
itself. That was a hard day. And I was
01:05:50
actually listening to Hardis Giza's book
01:05:52
and for some reason he mentioned about
01:05:54
this inmate that killed himself and then
01:05:57
from there it just went all downhill. I
01:05:58
was just thinking about Jerome and
01:06:00
thinking about the intensity of this
01:06:01
whole thing, why I'm here. I felt so
01:06:03
alone in that moment. I had no crew
01:06:05
there. I couldn't see them for another
01:06:07
35 40k. Uh that was an overwhelming
01:06:11
moment. That was one particular moment
01:06:12
where I just broke down. And then Sam
01:06:14
came and I just I just Yeah. broke down,
01:06:17
you know, and it was a good it's a good
01:06:19
place to be because there's nothing to
01:06:21
hide, you know. I've got nothing to
01:06:22
prove. Uh but yeah. Yeah. Honestly,
01:06:25
those were those were the few instances
01:06:27
where where tears would come and
01:06:29
obviously the finish line was probably
01:06:30
the most positive tears I felt.
01:06:34
Yeah, that that amazes me. I'm surprised
01:06:35
there wasn't more because like um yeah,
01:06:37
physically you just broken down as much
01:06:39
as what a human being can be. which
01:06:41
makes you more emotional big time. Big
01:06:43
time. Yeah. I think there's only so much
01:06:45
like I definitely, you know, as I've
01:06:47
shared, I cry, but there was it was more
01:06:49
just the mental just the distress of
01:06:52
just like [ __ ] why am I It was like
01:06:54
frustration and anger. That was the main
01:06:57
overriding emotions. It's like, [ __ ]
01:06:58
why am I here? How can I do this? It's
01:07:01
impossible. It's not possible. That was
01:07:03
more of an onslaught of emotions, not
01:07:05
tears. Those were daily. Those emotions.
01:07:08
Yeah. Are you proud of yourself?
01:07:12
Yeah. Yeah. But again, pride. It's a
01:07:15
funny word, Dom. It's a [ __ ] funny
01:07:17
word, man. Um, but I am. I am, man.
01:07:24
Like, all I know is like I can look back
01:07:27
on this now and be like, [ __ ] damn, I
01:07:31
did that. You know, it's it's it's it's
01:07:34
an empowering place to be. I'm just
01:07:37
excited now about what's to come, what's
01:07:40
next, and how can I continue to add
01:07:42
value to this cause that I've decided
01:07:44
to, you know, that this this cause
01:07:46
that's essentially slapped me in the
01:07:48
face is mental health and suicide
01:07:50
prevention ultimately. How? So, it gives
01:07:52
me that, but yeah. Yeah, man. Well, I
01:07:55
mean, yeah. For the charity, the last
01:07:57
last chance project who you raised
01:07:58
$231,000 for, like I I can't imagine
01:08:01
their debt of gratitude. Um but for a
01:08:04
personal um perspective for Stefan
01:08:06
Ozich, it's like you haven't just like
01:08:09
redefined your personal physical
01:08:11
boundaries like you've smashed them.
01:08:13
Yeah. Cool way of putting it and that's
01:08:16
kind of why this race I've got coming
01:08:17
up. It's a backyard ultra 6.7K every
01:08:22
hour on the hour. It's a great format.
01:08:24
Last man standing pretty much. It's a
01:08:25
great format. Um that for me is a big
01:08:28
monkey on my back and it's like okay I
01:08:30
know I know I've got this in me. I've
01:08:33
only done it twice and I've fully missed
01:08:35
the mark of where I want to be. It's
01:08:36
like, okay, this for me is like this is
01:08:39
going to be like a real litmus test for
01:08:41
me now. Uh but again, not rushing into
01:08:43
it. If I'm not ready, not ready. I'll
01:08:45
wait. But yeah, you're right, man.
01:08:47
That's a good good point. Shattered it.
01:08:50
Yeah. Are we are we calling out Sam
01:08:52
Harvey as well as um Russ Cook? Sam
01:08:55
Harvey is like the New Zealand king of
01:08:57
backyard. He's the man. He's big. Yeah.
01:09:00
I've actually done a podcast for Sam
01:09:01
Harvey. He's a very interesting man. Uh
01:09:04
like yeah, he he knows his [ __ ] He's
01:09:07
doing his thing. He's got his way of
01:09:08
approaching it and I respect that. You
01:09:10
know, obviously I'd like to be to the
01:09:13
line with him. Absolutely. I ain't going
01:09:14
to deny that. I've just got work to do
01:09:16
cuz that man's he's definitely far ahead
01:09:18
of me in that game. Oh, he he's he's a
01:09:20
savage. Yeah, I had him on the podcast a
01:09:22
couple of years ago. He's a great guy.
01:09:23
Great guy. Yeah, the backyard ultra
01:09:25
thing. It intrigues me. But I I hate
01:09:28
sleep deprivation worse than anything.
01:09:29
So, I know if I was doing one, I'd get
01:09:32
like 10 hours in, you know. 67K and I'd
01:09:34
probably be like, "Oh, yeah. That's
01:09:35
that's good. That's a good knock." Good
01:09:37
knock. Well, that's the thing. That's
01:09:38
the thing. It's such a sadistic event
01:09:41
format that like 10 hours in, which is
01:09:44
what that's probably about what's that
01:09:46
like 80 60 something KS every 6.7ks.
01:09:50
Yes. Yeah. That's a beginning. That's a
01:09:52
beginning. But like because you're in
01:09:53
the space of all these animals that are
01:09:55
like trying to go 24 48 in Sam's case,
01:09:58
100 hours, it's like, "Oh, have you only
01:10:00
done that?" But like it's it's a it's a
01:10:03
funny it's a funny space, but it forces
01:10:05
you and it promotes the ability in
01:10:08
yourself to push yourself to go one more
01:10:10
lap. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Well, um
01:10:13
yeah, Backyard Ultra and whatever else
01:10:15
the future may bring. Um I'm proud of
01:10:17
you, Stefan, and I can't wait to see
01:10:19
what you do next. Yeah. Appreciate it,
01:10:21
Dom. Yeah, well done, mate. You did it.
01:10:23
You [ __ ] did it. Yeah, we [ __ ] did
01:10:24
it. Legend. Now, thank you for having
01:10:26
me. And again, from the onset, you know
01:10:28
what you promoting the platform, you
01:10:31
know, like it was intentional maybe or
01:10:33
maybe you're just being a good cat like
01:10:35
it helped, you know? So, I thank you for
01:10:37
that. What you were able to sort of
01:10:39
propel it and your timing was great. You
01:10:42
probably did that strategically, but I'm
01:10:44
glad that you did it that I'd done one
01:10:45
link first and that brought the right
01:10:47
eyes to then start following. And people
01:10:49
at me, I listen to the Dom podcast and
01:10:51
they'll fill me in on their on their sh.
01:10:55
Yeah, it was strategic. I wanted to make
01:10:56
sure you're in the second half because
01:10:58
um I'm glad I've done a lot of podcasts
01:11:00
with people that say they're going to do
01:11:02
extreme things. Um but again, until
01:11:05
until Yeah. And when you get to halfway,
01:11:06
it's like, oh, this this guy's the real
01:11:08
deal. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This
01:11:10
is such a weird thing to say. I ran one
01:11:12
length of the country and was only
01:11:13
halfway. That was a moment for me. It's
01:11:15
gone. Anyway, you're a great New
01:11:17
Zealander and it's great to have you
01:11:19
back on the podcast. Um I I don't think
01:11:22
I knew this the first time we spoke, but
01:11:24
um your your intensity that's um partly
01:11:26
because of your Croatian roots. Yeah,
01:11:28
probably. Yeah, I love the intensity.
01:11:31
Yeah. Yeah, you're one of a kind. Nice,
01:11:33
man. Good stuff. Legend. Thank you,
01:11:36
brother.