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Talking Dateline: Broken Circle

August 14, 2024 /

This episode discusses the viral TikTok video exposing abuse at a Missouri religious reform school, featuring guests Andrea Canning, Keith Morrison, and producer Liz Brown.

The conversation centers around Amanda Householder, who posted the video, revealing the abusive practices at the Circle of Hope school run by her parents, Boyd and Stephanie Householder. The video prompted an investigation that led to the school's closure.

Keith and Liz express their sadness for the teenagers affected by the school's harsh conditions, including manual labor and emotional abuse. They highlight the struggles parents faced in trying to do right by their children.

Key discussions include the impact of religious principles on the school's operations and the lack of regulation for such institutions. The guests reflect on the bravery of former students like Ashley and Danae, who shared their traumatic experiences.

Finally, the episode covers the legal repercussions for the Householders, including multiple felony charges, and the changes in Missouri law regarding the oversight of religious schools.

TLDR

A TikTok video reveals abuse at a Missouri reform school, leading to investigations and legal action against its owners.

Episode

17:39
00:00:00
Hey, everyone, I'm Andrea Canning, and we are talking Dateline. Today, I'm here with Keith Morrison and the producer of this episode, Liz Brown.
00:00:11
Hello to both of you. Hi, Andrea. Hello. Hi, Andrea. Okay, this episode is called Broken Circle.
00:00:17
If you haven't listened to it yet, it's the episode right below this one on your list
00:00:21
of podcasts. So go there and listen to it and then come back here. Today, Keith has two interview clips that he's going to play for us that were not in
00:00:28
the show. To recap, in 2020, a 21-second video filmed secretly at a religious reform school in
00:00:35
Missouri went viral on TikTok. Within weeks, the local sheriff launched an investigation into
00:00:41
possible abuse at the school, and the school closed. What was surprising, the person who had
00:00:46
posted the video was none other than the daughter of the school's owners, and Amanda Householder was
00:00:52
on a mission to stop her father, no matter what the personal cost. Okay, Liz and Keith, let's
00:00:58
talk Dateline. All right. So let's just start with how sad this episode made me feel
00:01:04
for these teenagers. It was heartbreaking to think that their parents were sending them there
00:01:11
to try to do right. And then they're subjected to this everything, this manual labor, sexual abuse,
00:01:17
and it goes on and on. When I looked at the TikTok video, I mean, my gosh. knock her out yes sir i mean it knock her out yes sir and that goes for the rest of you
00:01:30
if she clenches her fist like she's gonna hit you that's a threat knock her out yes sir that was
00:01:39
it's like one of the great things about a little snippet of of video even if it doesn't show you
00:01:45
very much for very long you hear the voice of the person who is committing these i'll call them sins
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whatever you want to call them, you hear that person and you hear their real personality as
00:01:56
they are telling one little girl to hit another little girl and knock her out. And the way it's
00:02:05
said in those just very few seconds, it was amazing. It's amazing how 21 seconds can be so
00:02:11
powerful. Exactly. It was really disheartening to watch this, that there's places like that that
00:02:18
exist. Well, and more than you would think. You know, I assumed at the beginning of this,
00:02:25
it was sort of one isolated case, one bad seed. But the problem is much more endemic to that.
00:02:31
And it traces back to an oversight in some state legislation, certainly in that particular area,
00:02:37
but also in some other parts of the country where religious schools are not regulated in the same
00:02:43
way and not supervise in ways that other kinds of schools are regulated. And Liz, can I just say just some excellent reporting?
00:02:53
Oh, thank you. On your part, investigating to track all these people down and get to the heart of the matter
00:02:59
and the truth of the story. It was really good investigative work. I do want to give a shout out to Tyler Kincaid.
00:03:05
He's a digital reporter at NBC, and actually he was the trailblazer on this story.
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He posted an article when the school was first closing. We thought we have to look into this.
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But going back to what Keith was saying, if a school is founded or run according to religious principles, you know, you don't want to judge.
00:03:26
You don't want to get involved. I think that's, you know, part of the kind of hesitancy of some states to regulate.
00:03:33
But that was also kind of the lure for some of these parents, you know, that this is religious.
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This has some kind of morality, this biblical discipline that these parents were promised.
00:03:44
I know that when I first started looking into this story, I was like, how could you send your child to this school?
00:03:50
But the more parents that we spoke to, the more I kind of understood that they, in many cases, were trying to do the best that they could for their children.
00:03:56
Absolutely. Well, if somebody offers you an option that is supposedly an option that is morally correct, which is a godly, biblical thing to do, and you have been listening to sermons day in and day out from somebody who says that that's the right way to raise a child, well, I guess maybe you'd think about it.
00:04:15
Well and clearly a lot of things are not shared with the parents about exactly what goes on there So you know the parents were certainly duped to a certain extent you know as far as like just how tough the love was there And the fact that you
00:04:31
know, tough love works would be the philosophy. And in some cases, indeed, tough love works,
00:04:37
but it just depends on how it's applied, where and by who. Yeah. I want to talk about the mother
00:04:42
and daughter, Teresa and Ashley, because as I'm watching them, I thought, how brave of these two
00:04:47
to go on national television and share this story because Teresa especially had such guilt
00:04:54
for sending her daughter there. And you would, as a parent, just, it would crush you to know
00:04:59
that you sent your child into harm's way, even though she didn't know. It was crushing for her, yeah.
00:05:05
You bet? They were so brave. They just felt so strongly that they wanted to share their story.
00:05:11
Teresa, she gave us a handbook that the school gives parents when you sign up your kid.
00:05:15
And in the handbook, it laid out some of the rules about being in communication with the children. So she wasn't allowed to have any contact with Ashley for 30 days. They were told they weren't allowed to whisper on the phone. I mean, so there are all these controls to prevent that communication between parent and child. How would you know what was going on there? You would have no idea, but she still felt this incredible guilt. And it's taken years for them to repair that relationship.
00:05:43
Yeah, well, you heard Ashley saying, I hated my mom. I hated her. I'm not going to lie.
00:05:48
I couldn't stand her. I couldn't stand looking at her. Feel guilty? Yeah. You know, how could I do this to my child?
00:06:00
Thinking I was helping her. I have a question for both of you. Boyd Householder, who ran the school along with his wife, Stephanie.
00:06:09
Do you think that, you know, going back to the religious element, do you think Boyd truly thought that he was doing a good thing?
00:06:16
Or do you think that he was a man with serious anger issues and that this was his, you know, they were his punching bag to get out this anger?
00:06:24
You know, he was drawn. It was Boyd's wife who took him to church and said, here's the preacher you need to listen to.
00:06:30
And that preacher was preaching a message that resonated with Boyd because he had been, you know, he'd been a drill instructor.
00:06:37
He knew how to be tough with recruits. You apply those same principles to an eight-year-old child who's been away from home for the very first time living with a bunch of other kids who are all terrified. It's not a good scene, that's for sure.
00:06:53
He also, remember, worked at that other school, Agape, before he opened his own school. And from the conversations that we had with more than a dozen students there and staff, former staff members, the environment was very similar. The boys were treated in an equally physical way. So, yes, I mean, we can't get in people's heads, but he also participated or witnessed or saw stuff at that other school.
00:07:20
Okay, after the break, we've got an interview clip from one of Boyd's former students at Agape and a clip from a different former student who tells Keith her dramatic story of being taken to Circle of Hope.
00:07:38
So you had a lot of brave souls talking to you, and I was especially struck by the idea of these teen girls suddenly finding themselves at the school at Circle of Hope.
00:07:50
Ashley talks about being driven there by her pastor, but you have an extra clip from your interview with another student named Danae that was also very disturbing.
00:07:59
Let's take a listen to that. What was your first connection with one of these places?
00:08:03
What happened? I literally was awoke at like 4 a.m. in the morning to a stranger in my in my bedroom being like, you need to get dressed.
00:08:10
We're leaving. And I was carried to a car where I was handcuffed and put in a car where I couldn't get out.
00:08:16
And you were at home when this happened? Yes. In your own bed and your childhood home?
00:08:22
Yes. Yes. My mother was nowhere around. And then once I was physically in the car,
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she ended up coming out and the car, I couldn't get out of it. There was bars that prevented me
00:08:35
from getting to the front. Like one of those cages that they have in police cars?
00:08:38
Yes. And I literally sat there and just became a shell of a human. Wow Just remind me what had led up to Danae mom feeling hopeless and that you know she had to do this Well she was not behaving in the way that her mother wanted her to
00:08:55
She was seen as a problem child. But things that were not that unusual in any teenager's family, quite frankly.
00:09:02
Yeah. And speaking of the teens, we have another clip that did not air in the original episode from Colton Schrag, who was a student at Agape boarding school where Boyd had worked before.
00:09:18
I'd watch him grab students and chuck them to a wall, grab them by the neck and slam them on the rocks outside, get in their face yelling and screaming, you know, just completely out of control.
00:09:31
he was out of control yeah he was i actually had an incident with him uh myself so we used to do a
00:09:39
head count every time we left like the main dining hall or main cafeteria we'd line up in a line and
00:09:46
a leader student would take take count and i was i was standing in line kind of spaced out
00:09:53
and i was making a simple beat with my mouth you know and what householder saw walked up and
00:09:59
punch me in the stomach. He's like, we don't listen to that devil music here. If I ever catch
00:10:03
you doing that again, I'm going to take you to the padded palace. We're going to restrain you.
00:10:08
I looked at Boyd Householder. I said, why wait? Let's go right now. And so we did. We went to
00:10:14
that room. We got restrained. Oh, I hated hearing about the padded palace. That was so awful.
00:10:21
Really? You say in the episode that Boyd Householder denied getting violent with students
00:10:26
like Colton or Danae, he did say that he restrained them if they got violent for their own safety and other students.
00:10:35
But I keep coming back to that TikTok video and you hear him telling a student to knock out another girl.
00:10:40
Knock her out. Yes, sir. I mean it. Knock her out. I was going to say what was remarkable about that video is just that it had such an impact.
00:10:51
Like it was people have been complaining about the school for years. So it opened in 2006.
00:10:58
This video is in 2020. People have been complaining about this school since 2007.
00:11:04
Nothing had happened. Then this 21-second video comes along, and all of a sudden, you know, people are investigating, people are paying attention, and things start to change.
00:11:15
And Amanda was a person who was making it all possible in the end. Imagine her dilemma.
00:11:21
She has grown up in this family. She loves her mother and father. They have a certain philosophy about the way children should be raised and a school should be operated.
00:11:29
Amanda herself worked in that school, did the things that were required, which sometimes gave her a lot of trouble, a lot of pause.
00:11:37
But it was only when she was able to get away from the school herself, when she finally said, enough, I'm leaving, I'm going off to live my own life, and saw things from the outside looking in, that she recognized that this was just a terrible thing.
00:11:52
and that really she had to do something on it. But making the decision to turn on your own parents
00:11:58
and keep that fight up, not just for a week or for a month, but for years and years and keep at it.
00:12:06
No matter how much, no matter how the parents had to answer for that legally, was just, that was just remarkable.
00:12:16
And it was a testament to her staying power and her ability. We're going to take a quick break and then we'll be back with some updates on the story.
00:12:32
There's a major update since the original episode aired regards to the legal aspect of all this.
00:12:40
So the big one is that Boyd and Stephanie were both criminally charged. We're talking more than 70 felonies for Boyd, including abuse for child, more than 20 felonies for Stephanie, including abuse and endangering the welfare of a child.
00:12:56
And they both pleaded not guilty. Boyd actually died recently before he went to trial which is pretty if you talking about Amanda and her relationship with her parents she hadn spoken to them in years So she had when we spoke with her recently very mixed feelings about that because on the one hand she was grieving but she was also angry She was angry that the survivors
00:13:20
didn't have a chance to face Boyd in court. The mom's trial is pending. In terms of Agape,
00:13:27
the boys' school where Boyd worked before Circle of Hope, three staff members pleaded guilty to
00:13:36
misdemeanor assaults on boys there. And Agape ended up closing. They said it was because of
00:13:43
lack of enrollment and lack of funding. But you can read between the lines. And there's another person charged too, right? Agape used to go take the boys to the town doctor,
00:13:53
David Smock, if they were sick. But in December 2021, he was charged with felonies,
00:13:59
including multiple counts of sexual misconduct. He allegedly committed crimes against children he
00:14:04
met through agape. He's pleaded not guilty and he's in custody with his trial pending.
00:14:10
The school hasn't made any statements about those charges against the doctor. The fact is that these children were vulnerable, that they were not able to communicate with their
00:14:19
parents, that they wouldn't have been believed had they told somebody they were being abused,
00:14:23
which makes them absolutely the perfect victims for an abuser. And abusers tend to be attracted
00:14:30
to the kind of places where they can abuse children. Yeah, it's always in all kinds of these stories,
00:14:36
whether it's this type of story or a woman who's been taken advantage of by a man
00:14:41
or whatever, they're in vulnerable places. And people prey on the weak. Exactly.
00:14:47
And that's exactly what this is. I mean, kudos to the media, including you two and your team
00:14:56
for really shining a light on this problem. It's just sad that it took that long.
00:15:01
And I think the biggest kudos is to Amanda and the group of kids. Yeah, true. Oh, very much so.
00:15:08
Yeah. If it hadn't been for her, this wouldn't happen. And they picked up the phone.
00:15:13
They pounded the corridors in the state capitol to say this has to stop. This has to stop.
00:15:19
They were demonstrating outside the school. I mean, they did everything they could possibly do.
00:15:23
And their campaign went on for quite some time. And can you imagine some of those kids, Amanda had restraint, like some of the former people, like imagine trying to build that relationship.
00:15:35
Yeah, it's awkward when you think about it, like that initial, you know, coming together, right?
00:15:40
Amanda with these various people. I mean, yeah, how did she gain their trust? It just, it took some time.
00:15:46
I think that they were all hurting. And when they recognized that Amanda understood what she had done and that she was part of them hurting and that she wanted to make amends, they were only too happy to join her.
00:16:01
I'll call it a crusade to do something about this. So thanks to the survivors, the law did end up changing in Missouri.
00:16:09
So now religious schools have to register with the state. So the state knows that they exist.
00:16:16
Employees do have to do background checks. It's a step in the right direction. How satisfying was it for you to know that after the report aired that real action was being taken against the householders, the schools?
00:16:32
It was one that was really a privilege to be able to be part of because something happened because of it.
00:16:39
And some children were able to avoid the fate that was not something anybody wants to think about.
00:16:46
Yeah, future children, you know, that future teens that could have gone off to those those facilities that now will not.
00:16:55
Thank you both for diving into this very important story that has impacted a lot of lives.
00:17:04
And hopefully there will continue to be more change as awareness is spread about these kinds of facilities.
00:17:12
Thank you, Andrea. Thanks, Andrea. That's Talking Dateline for this week Remember if you have any questions for us
00:17:18
About stories or about Dateline You can reach out to us on social At Dateline NBC
00:17:22
See you Fridays on Dateline on NBC

Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

  • 90
    Most heartbreaking
  • 85
    Most shocking
  • 85
    Most viral
  • 80
    Most emotional

Episode Highlights

  • The Power of 21 Seconds
    A viral TikTok video exposes abuse at a religious reform school, prompting investigations.
    “It's amazing how 21 seconds can be so powerful.”
    @ 02m 05s
    August 14, 2024
  • Parents' Guilt and Misguided Trust
    Parents believed they were doing the right thing by sending their children to the school.
    “It would crush you to know that you sent your child into harm's way.”
    @ 04m 58s
    August 14, 2024
  • Amanda's Brave Stand
    Amanda Householder risks everything to expose the truth about her family's school.
    “Making the decision to turn on your own parents... was just remarkable.”
    @ 11m 58s
    August 14, 2024
  • Legal Consequences for Abusers
    Boyd and Stephanie Householder face numerous felony charges for child abuse.
    “We're talking more than 70 felonies for Boyd, including abuse of a child.”
    @ 12m 44s
    August 14, 2024
  • Change in Missouri Law
    New regulations require religious schools to register with the state for oversight.
    “So now religious schools have to register with the state.”
    @ 16m 09s
    August 14, 2024

Episode Quotes

  • It's amazing how 21 seconds can be so powerful.
    Talking Dateline: Broken Circle
  • It would crush you to know that you sent your child into harm's way.
    Talking Dateline: Broken Circle
  • Kudos to the media for really shining a light on this problem.
    Talking Dateline: Broken Circle
  • This has to stop.
    Talking Dateline: Broken Circle
  • It was a privilege to be part of this because something happened because of it.
    Talking Dateline: Broken Circle

Key Moments

  • Broken Circle00:14
  • Viral TikTok Video00:35
  • Heartbreaking Reality01:04
  • Brave Testimony04:47
  • Legal Charges12:44

Tension Over Time

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown