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my name is Helen Grace James was born in 1927 in Scranton Pennsylvania and I was raised on a dairy farm
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I was very busy kid I worked on the farm I loved the animals I I was dependent upon to do certain
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chores when I was old enough I was milking cows I was driving the tractor I was helping with the harvests when she
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was old enough to drive she delivered orders from her father's butcher shop every Saturday it was a military family
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her great-great-grandfather was a Union soldier her father was in World War One her uncles in World War II her cousins
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were in the Army and Navy so I I liked I liked the military because I would talk
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to them and it just seemed like a a wonderful place to be to be helping our country
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as I thought of it they were there to help fight the wars or you know be engaged in
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in taking care of us as as civilians she wanted to enlist but she was too young so she went to college and got a degree
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in physical education she moved to Florida where family friends helped her get a job as a teacher but I always had
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the yearning I taught there for three years and then decided to enlist my parents
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I don't know if they expected it or they they were you know they were supportive what
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year was this I and I enlisted in in 52. she was assigned to basic training in Texas and flew from Philadelphia to San
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Antonio it was her first time on an airplane did you get your clothing you get your shots you get you know and
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you're assigned to a flight with Airmen that are coming in at the same time and what was your job in the
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Air Force I was a radio operator so I learned code I learned to type code I learned to take and type code and send
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and receive was it fun were you happy to be you continuing this family tradition
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well I don't know I loved it I met P I'm you know I I grew up on a farm I graduated in a a class of 17 you know it
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was it was Farm country it was um I hadn't met a lot of people from from other areas
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I enjoyed what I did I I loved the Air Force it was fun it was exciting and it was teaching me a job that I thought was
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was really important she was responsible for contacting military bases up and down the East Coast every hour on the
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hour they kept a close eye on each plane to see whether anyone deviated from a scheduled flight path
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she was assigned to a permanent station Roslin Air Force Base on Long Island we were part of the 26th air division
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Defense command and we had constant communication with other bases along the coast Mitchell and and
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Andrews we had being you know alerting anything that might be untoward it was cold war we were kind of on alert
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all the time Helen svener days watching and listening during a period of intense suspicion and
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paranoia in America she had no idea that she herself was being watched I'm Phoebe judge this is
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Criminal [Music] we heard through other Airmen from other from other bases that there was an
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investigation going on and that was that was kind of a rumor and you know come to find out they were
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already investigating us which they had been doing for a while which of course we didn't know
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investigating you for what for where we went we were being followed we were being watched
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I had a car so at one point one of my friends and I went to went to get a sandwich at a at a little
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restaurant and it was a place that it was really busy and so we decided to take our
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sandwiches and and go find a place to talk one of us had just gotten off duty I think and and uh so we were hungry and
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we parked and started to eat our sandwiches and and up behind us came um an Arab policeman with the lights on
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and wanted to know what we were doing and that that was that was very eerie that was very
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frightening that was I'm you know it's like why are you asking me that and why were you
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following me and you know it it came about really quickly we sometimes we would go
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we would go down to the Village and um we could we could um we could play music on a jukebox and
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dance and these were places that were uh just for women and uh so there was a jukebox they could dance
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and and there were guards out there was a guard outside so that it it kept it safe and it that uh they didn't allow
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they didn't allow males in there so The OSI the office of special investigation apparently had uh
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gotten permission somehow one night when we were there and they were sitting in a in a booth
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and they begin to harass me and others and uh what were they saying ask me what I was doing there and uh
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you know I would I was not very comfortable with them and so I I just turned away but they
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wanted to know why I was there and what I was doing and and how come I was in this place and
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and so they stayed seated and I I just knew that they didn't belong in there and so it was Eerie it was frightening
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it was we I knew that they were they had they were in there because we were there
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were they they were investigating you because uh because you were gay yeah that we were considered to be
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um a threat to the security of the nation how because we could be compromised and and uh
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at in those days it uh it apparently wasn't it wasn't okay to be okay or lesbian
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it was frowned upon and and you could be outed and compromised by the enemy so to speak uh and tell any
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secrets that we had or you know we were just considered to be a threat to National Security
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so they wanted us gone yeah they had bugged our room or they had someone in the room next to us and they could
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hear that you know they had had their room bugged somehow when we would get in late at night there
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were there were Airmen that were assigned apparently to to watch us when we came in and to
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you know if we stopped at the latrine they would you know might be two o'clock in the morning and and we were
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washing our hands and they an Airman would come in which would is usually unlikely because it's two o'clock in the
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morning so it became very unnerving you know to be followed and to be watched did you start to suspect that everyone
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was watching you yes you can imagine it's it's just a place that you worked and did your work and
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and people were watching you people were people that didn't seem to notice you before were
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were watching you once you realized you were being watched did you change your behavior stay away
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from people I changed the way I felt I wasn't sleeping very well I was probably drinking
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though I could sleep it you know it wears on you it you you don't know who's watching you
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it might be anybody and uh we were scared all the time and um and then finally we were there were
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three of us that were arrested [Music] started to the grill us about what our thoughts were uh
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[Music] suspecting us of doing things I guess that we I don't know I don't know it was
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it was constant it was um hours and hours of at one point I needed to go to the latrine and
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of course the officer went with me I was and I I think I threw up I didn't feel good
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we had been I had been there for I don't know how many hours and finally the threats began
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the uh the gentleman that that was questioning us began to threaten to go to my parents to go to my friends to go
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to people that I knew to tell them that I was you know a threat to the nation and the bad
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person apparently and and I finally said you know just write down whatever you want to write down and
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I'll sign it and that's what they did what he did he wrote it down I signed it I didn't read
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what he said what were the charges I don't know what was on that paper I never looked at it
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but I you know it was because I was a lesbian this was happening all over the country
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men and women who worked for the government were interrogated about their sex lives and fired it was called the
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lavender scare it coincided with the Red Scare which gave rise to the house on American
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Activities Committee and senator Joseph McCarthy's hearings to try to expose communists
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thousands and thousands of people were fired during the lavender scare under an executive order signed by President
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Eisenhower that order remained in place until 1995 when President Clinton implemented don't
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ask don't tell when they first came into the barracks that day did you have any idea what was
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going on no I mean I assume you've never been arrested or questioned before that's
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right when they were asking you these questions what what kinds of questions were they asking you were they asking
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you about your whereabouts or or movements or relations with other women um one of the things that they did was they
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involved you know how did I feel about my sister how did I feel about my mother I mean
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it just and that's why I threw up I think I just got so upset with it that I decided I you know
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just write something down I'll sign it so when they asked you about you know dating women did you kind of say EE
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yes what's wrong with that I probably did you know I I can't recall all the things that I said I I just was
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feeling so put upon you know the very idea that they would considers my sister or
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anyone school made or you know that was they wanted to know things that I like didn't know I didn't know how to answer
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and I didn't have I didn't have answers for and I and they were just uncomfortable and they got more
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uncomfortable and uh and then they began to threaten threaten me with exposure to my family to my friends you know
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in those days and you're probably quite Young in those days it was not was not talked
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about that I remember I didn't know about gay or lesbian I don't think I ever heard the term
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when I was in high school and uh feelings that I had I enjoyed being I because I was on a farm maybe I
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grew up doing all the things that that the girls and boys did the farm work so I loved being with god with boys and and
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Men because they talked about things that I that I liked and enjoyed you know I drove tractor I drove horses
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I I did I helped build things with my dad and um and I enjoyed that what did you do right after you signed
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the papers what happened next I had to clear the base it was about two weeks that you had to
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clear the base and and I also had I had applied for a commission actually and the commission came through
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during the time that I was being discharged so I actually had two discharges one as an Airman and one as the second
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lieutenant I just stayed low did other people you had to stay on the base for two
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weeks did other people on the base know what had happened in everybody on the base knew everybody in the on the
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station knew I just did what I had to do and and uh waited to get out but you know had no money no no support
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at all I couldn't tell my family I couldn't tell my friends I couldn't tell my former classmates uh
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I I had hoped to make a career of the Air Force I loved it I really loved the Air Force I loved serving I loved
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the work that I did until until this came about so your parents never really they just never talked to
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them never and I left the East Coast immediately after get away from it all yeah
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I didn't know anybody that was good started a new life she got a job working as a physical
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therapist in California her practice grew she made new friends and she tried to forget what happened to
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her in 1955. who had you talked to about your discharge nobody it was it was disgraceful it was a stain
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on my my family that was involved in this you know oh especially military family
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all the other people in my family had served honorably I felt I had to to keep it under seal
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I just stuffed it decades passed this way and then in 2016 she met a fellow veteran a medic not
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sure how I'd come up but I I felt okay with saying yeah I got a bad discharge and she and I she said do something
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about that well I didn't know that I couldn't do anything about it until you know she talked to me and so we went
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down and that's when we got it started we went down and uh started the complaint and
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I told my story I I told what had happened to me and I wrote I wrote it all out that's the first time I had ever written
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it all out how old were you how old was I then I was uh yes I guess it was uh 89.
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[Music] 64 years after Helen James was kicked out of the Air Force she applied for an
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honorable discharge she worked with the Fresno County VA and they helped her get in touch with a
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legal aid attorney to start the process the Air Force didn't you know they waited it was they they said they had 18
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months before they had to you know get back to us so we waited 18 months and uh one of the things that had
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happened in the meanwhile was that I needed to get a hold of my personnel file so that I could show that I didn't
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do anything wrong that I was a good uh was a good Airman you know I did my duty but apparently those records had been
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burned in a fire from there it was hiccup after hiccup preventing Helen's complaint from being
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handled and so her legal aid attorney teamed up with the D.C law firm and they filed a lawsuit they told the Air Force
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they had 14 days to respond and that went in on the 2nd of January 2018 and on January 11 2018
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my story came out in the Washington Post in the Washington Post that wonderful paper
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uh I guess that's when the Air Force decided that it was time to address it and they approved my
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discharged as a an honorable discharge what was it like having your story be so public after it being private I don't
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know if I can explain it you know because it's a constant thing it's in my it's in my head now
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uh and people know about it and you know I never told my folks about it but they know now
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and uh I've you know I've I've been back east and talked to my family and they've read
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my incident report and they they know me now as you know that and my cousins and and uh
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my classmates from college and uh my godson and yeah yeah I I put it out there for them
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do you ever go to events for veterans uh of course I didn't used to but yeah I do
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it's a community it's uh it's family with the veterans you know you know that they know who you
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are where you've been what you're doing regardless of of whatever what branch you are in
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uh yeah it's uh it's an amazing community to be a part of I'm honored by it [Music]
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a couple of weeks ago at 91 years old she marched in the Fresno California Pride Parade oh gosh oh God that was
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really fun I was the Grand Marshal in the parade it was just surreal to know that there are so many people out
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there that are with me that care about me and and care about each other well I want to thank you so much for
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speaking to me for all this time today we took a lot of your time oh Phoebe thank you so much you've been just
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so nice and and you just take care of yourself you too will speak soon okay thanks okay bye bye bye bye
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[Music] criminal is produced by Lauren Spore Nadia Wilson and me audio mix by Rob
00:23:46
Byers matild or fellino is our intern Julian Alexander creates original illustrations for each episode of
00:23:53
Criminal you can see them at thisiscriminal.com where on Facebook and Twitter at criminal show
00:24:00
criminal is recorded in the studios of North Carolina public radio wunc we're a proud member of radiotopia
00:24:08
from PRX a collection of the best podcasts around special thanks to adserc for providing their ad serving platform
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to radiotopia I'm Phoebe judge this is Criminal [Music] [Music]