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She Survived the Stalker Who Killed Her Parents. Did the System Fail Her?

May 09, 2025 / 45:36

This episode covers the story of Fallon Finaci, a survivor of a tragic home invasion in 1993 that resulted in the murder of her parents. Fallon is now an advocate for missing and murdered indigenous people. The discussion includes her childhood in St. Estach, Manitoba, the events leading up to the home invasion, and the systemic failures of law enforcement that contributed to the tragedy.

Fallon shares her experiences with the stalker who threatened her family, detailing the police's inadequate response to her mother's concerns about his violent behavior. The episode highlights the failures of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, including the mishandling of evidence and the lack of urgency in responding to the situation.

As the story unfolds, Fallon recounts the harrowing night of the invasion, the impact on her and her siblings, and the aftermath of their parents' deaths. She reflects on the long-term effects of trauma and the importance of mental health support.

The conversation also touches on Fallon's advocacy work, including her involvement in the National Inquiry for Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls in Canada. She emphasizes the need for community support and awareness around these issues.

Throughout the episode, Fallon encourages listeners to take action and engage in conversations about the ongoing crisis facing indigenous communities, urging them to advocate for change and support those affected.

TLDR

Fallon Finaci shares her family's tragic story and her advocacy for missing and murdered indigenous people.

Episode

45:36
00:00:00
Hi, crime junkies. It's Britt, and it's just me for right now, but not for long.
00:00:05
Ashley's out today, but she has left us in good hands. As you guys know, we've been shaking things up a little bit
00:00:11
lately, and today is one of those days. But how we got here is something brand new to us. So, let me fill you in.
00:00:21
A few months ago, our team was working on a case involving a girl who along with her siblings survived a home
00:00:26
invasion in 1993 in which a man broke in and killed both of their parents. That girl was Fallon Finaci and she is now a
00:00:36
dedicated advocate for missing and murdered indigenous people. And so, in honor of May being National Missing and
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Murdered Indigenous Persons Awareness Month, we thought this was an important story to share. But it's her story. So,
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who better to tell it than herself? Today, I've invited Fallon to the Crime Junkie Clubhouse so we can hear directly
00:00:56
from her. Now, before we jump in, I will tell you right up here at the top that we will not be naming Fallon's parents
00:01:02
killer throughout the episode. His name is Andre Ducharm, but as I'm sure you can understand, Fallon prefers not to
00:01:08
use his name. She only refers to him as her mom stalker or the stalker. And out of respect, I'll be doing the same. But
00:01:16
that's enough of me. This is the story of Fallon Finaci. Fallon, welcome to the Crime Junkie
00:01:28
Clubhouse. We are so thankful you are here. You came all the way from Canada to be with us here in Indiana and that
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is just incredible. I am so grateful to be here and to be able to come here to tell my story and
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share it with all of you. Yeah. So, let's start with a little bit about you. Take us to your background,
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your childhood. Tell us about your culture. Yeah. So, the little rural community I
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grew up in was St. Estach, just outside of Winnipeg. And still have ties to it. I I go home. I call it my home still
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quite often, although I don't live there anymore. Uh I am indigenous. So, I'm Red
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River Matei and so was my father. um my father's side of the family and he grew up really proud to be indigenous and so
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he instilled that in me at a young age. Uh there wasn't really any kind of difference from my everyday life to
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culture, traditions or community. It was just all it was life. Yeah. I always explain to people is it
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happened around the kitchen table, you know, in those beautiful it sounds like a really beautiful way to grow up.
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Really really tight family. Really? But we're here today for a specific reason and I think now is like a really good
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time to kind of turn into that. Can you take me to everything that that kind of happened?
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Yeah, absolutely. So in November of 1992, this man who we knew, he was a community member.
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He started crossing boundaries. And boundaries in the sense of like just making you feel uncomfortable. And he
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called our family home. He had found out that my mother had went to a co-orker's
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birthday party. and he he had asked my mom where his birthday cake was. And my mom never made him a cake. So that is
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really what kind of made her feel uncomfortable to get off the phone right away.
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Uh and so she said to him, "I threw it in the garbage and I have to go. I have the kids bingo." And hung up. We had a
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community bingo. As I said, it was like a really tight-knit community. So, uh, he called back and he threatened my mom
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and he said that she wouldn't live to see her next birthday and that he wouldn't live to see his. This really
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kind of crossed the last boundary. So, she took it really seriously. They called the RCMP, the Royal Canadian
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Mounty Police, and they brought him before a judge that evening. Uh, and they failed though to tell the judge
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that my mother and father had told the RCMP that she was concerned that he had a 22 caliber rifle.
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So there was no seizure of weapons. There was no search of his home, anything like that. And he was released.
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And then in December, you know, my mom continued to hear from community members that he was continuing to want to take
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my mom, my mother, and my father's lives. And so from there, my mom wrote the RCMP a letter. And in that letter,
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she stated that again, she was concerned about this .22 caliber, but also a handgun.
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The letter was never filed, and so it wasn't brought before a judge or anything like that. The stalker had 13
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prior convictions. And the RCMP station fought bail for this man in 1990, saying
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he should not be released, that he was a danger to the community. And now we're in January of 1993 and my family's case
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landed on the desk of a uh family crown attorney which it's not like a family crown would be like family court here in
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the states. Yes. So like custody and stuff like that. That's not the situation at all.
00:05:12
Not at all. No. This was criminal. He had threatened their lives along this case. uh we heard a lot of like errors,
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you know, human error, and so this was one of those human errors. But for some reason, this crown
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picked it up and then felt it was appropriate to have a mediation, which again, like in family court would
00:05:32
make sense. Like you have mediations as like like a means to an end, but that's again not the case here.
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No. I mean, I wouldn't want to sit with someone. Absolutely not. That threatened my life. So it it just
00:05:44
baffles my mind that he thought that was what should be done. Yeah. Especially like it comes across
00:05:49
your desk, you open it to continue on with it versus like ooh passing it off to like who it actually belongs to where
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it can actually be handled properly with the court system that should be handling it
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feels like more than human error. Yeah, absolutely. And from there, there was a uh temp in this uh law clerk
00:06:10
position, which again, human error. Fine. Um but she accidentally mailed my mother the
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stalker's information and he got my mother's. Oh yeah. So there was laws that were in place but weren't enacted
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at the time to protect women. And like my grandma says, my mom's mom, what good is a
00:06:34
restraining order? At the end of the day, it's a piece of paper, right? And I know here in the States,
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it's one of those things where you can't even act on it until it's violated. Yes.
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Right. So like it's there until what? Right. Like it doesn't do any good. And so because of this, my mom had
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decided she was absolutely not going through this with mediation. Yeah. I mean, she was already scared,
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but this was just catapulting it. And so, they didn't show up for the mediation. There was supposed to be a
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mediation on January 26th. So, he was released back out into the public again. And he came to our family home on
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January 27th and he knocked on the door. My older brother was awake. It was just
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after midnight. Myself, my younger sibling, my parents, we were all sleeping. And when my brother answered
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the door, uh, he was standing on the other side of the door with the same 22 caliber rifle that they had warned the
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police about. [Music] Two branches of the same tree, two pieces of a soul. Where one sister goes,
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the other will be, for she is but half of the whole. He instructed my brother to go
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downstairs into our family home. He tied up my brother and I would say he like verbally tortured him. He, you know,
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talked about killing my parents and how he couldn't live without my mother. And my brother had to endure that for a
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number of hours um before he finally told my brother that he was going to go upstairs. And he used the words do the
00:08:32
deed to go kill my parents. Um my older brother had to write a a suicide note I guess in a way for um this man uh just
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instructing him to tell his family, his friends that he was sorry for what he was doing. Um and then around 2:30 in
00:08:53
the morning, he went upstairs in our family home and that's when my brother heard my dad yell some things in French
00:09:00
cuz it was a a French matey community. And then he did um shoot and kill my father instantly. And I I'm assuming
00:09:08
that that's the sound that woke myself and my younger brother up. And so when I woke up, I immediately tried to go into
00:09:15
my parents' bedroom cuz I didn't know what was going on. And I was nine at the time. And so I'm trying to push the door
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open, but there's clearly someone on the other side of the door. And so I give up
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at that point. But I don't know what it was. Something told me that it was an emergency to go call 911.
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And your brothers, how old were you and your brothers when all this happened? So, my older brother Carson was 17 and
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then my younger brother Clinton at the time was five. Okay. And you were nine. And I was nine. Yes.
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And so I went to call for help. Um but I I accidentally dialed the wrong number.
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And so then I could see a dark shadow coming running towards me. So, I drop the phone and I run into the basement
00:10:01
and hide. And eventually, my mom, the stalker, and my younger brother all come downstairs. And that's when my younger
00:10:09
brother finds me. It was terrifying cuz at the same time he's screaming and yelling cuz he can't find my brother.
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But he had escaped at 2:30 when the gunshot went off. He thankfully was able to get out of the basement window and he
00:10:25
ran to my parents' best friend's home and they called 911 and they stated, you know, he is entered our home and he has
00:10:36
a gun. They heard a gunshot go off and that us kids were being held in the house or that not that we're being held
00:10:42
hostage but we're in the house. Yes. And so the way the chain of command goes, that 911 dispatcher would let the
00:10:49
officers know who were on duty at the nearby police station. So that's about 45 minutes from my community, but that
00:10:57
police station closes at 2 a.m. And this is happening after 2:30. Yes. So they would call the constable on
00:11:05
duty and let him know and then he would then give, you know, further instructions. So they did. They called
00:11:11
him and he said, "Go out to the Paul residence and see if you can get him to come out and talk to him." As if he's a
00:11:20
rational person right now. Yeah, absolutely. As if none of the other information had been said at all
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or was important. Yes. He was also the only uh trained hostage negotiator for this RCMP
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station. So like the person who should have been going out and talking to this clearly
00:11:38
irrational person. Yes. holding hostages. He could have called for SWAT, anything,
00:11:44
backup. Um, but he didn't. And instead of, you know, just hanging up the phone and
00:11:50
maybe getting up himself because he'd know he'd have to come here, keeping an eye on the situation, he's
00:11:55
responsible for it. Yeah. He accidentally fell back to sleep. I can't imagine having that
00:12:01
position and doing that, like having such disregard for the situation. Yeah. So, he's in the basement with us
00:12:08
kids and my mom. And at this time, he's losing his mind. So, he's upset. He looks at my mom and
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he tells my mom, she's going to have to pick whether it's myself or my younger brother that dies next if we can't find
00:12:20
my older brother who isn't in the house at all anymore. Not at all. And my mom doesn't know. And
00:12:27
so, we looked in all and all of the places. I mean, it was a tiny little basement and it was all open. And so
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eventually my mom wanted to separate him from us because he threatens our life again. My mom was able to whisper to me
00:12:40
and give me a hug. We were sitting on the stairs and she hugged me and said, "I'm going to go upstairs with him. You
00:12:45
stay down here." Mhm. And call for help. So they went upstairs and we stayed downstairs and I went to
00:12:52
pick up the phone and it was sitting it was actually it wasn't even up on the telephone like this little stand that
00:12:59
she had. It was on the floor. uh it had been ripped out of the wall, the cord. And I don't know, I mean, obviously I
00:13:07
can have regrets now, but that is one thing that sticks out in my mind is I wish I had just plugged it back in.
00:13:14
Um cuz it wasn't like ripped broken. It was just I thought I would get electrocuted if I plugged it in.
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You were a kid. I know. And I do try to give myself that grace when I think back.
00:13:26
So we stayed in the basement and eventually we fall asleep. So my mom's upstairs for 2 hours uh with this man.
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He had my mom also write a a note and in the note she stated that she wanted us to go to her sister uh who lived in
00:13:43
Ontario. And um then there was a section that he asked her to write also a part of you
00:13:51
know his own I don't know his own grievances. And so at 5:30 there's two officers outside of
00:13:59
our home just like, "Hey, come out." Yeah. So they they do make contact with my mom. It must have been right after
00:14:08
she went upstairs. They call the house and my mom answers and she answers one-sided questions. Are you okay? Are
00:14:16
you hurt? Um, a lot of the answers she gives though are maybe I don't know because she's just she's trying to
00:14:24
protect herself. Yeah, but he doesn't stop her from being on the phone. That's like the whole part I never really
00:14:30
understood. I think it's just I think of he had um been drinking and he was doing
00:14:37
drugs before coming to our house from what witnesses had seen him before earlier in the day. He went and he drank
00:14:46
a bottle of cherry. Um, yeah, it's just one of those things that I I guess repulse maybe is the word for me, you
00:14:57
know, like with my mom's being name being Sherry. And so at the end of the call, she says,
00:15:03
you know, can I can you call me back in the morning? I have to go. And so then at that point, they let her know help is
00:15:11
on the way. Um, but there was no real help coming at all. At 5:30, the two officers are instructed
00:15:21
to go get my brother. And then they bring him to this command post that they're finally setting up in a
00:15:27
community next to ours. Not even in our community. And this is a small community. Like I
00:15:33
grew up in a small town. Like there's usually not a lot around small communities. Like you're kind of just a
00:15:39
little dot on the map. So this isn't close by. No. Not as close as it could be at least.
00:15:45
No. Exactly. It could have been just at our town hall, but instead it's like 8 to 10 minutes
00:15:51
down the road. And I mean, at this point, we're 3 hours into it. Yeah. And so my brother has to go there and he
00:15:58
he watches them. No sense of urgency. Use a ruler to try to draw out a map of our house. Meanwhile, there's still no
00:16:06
SWAT at our home. And I'm sleeping. My younger brother and I fall asleep. At 5:30, I must hear a noise. I'm gonna
00:16:15
guess it was a gunshot that woke me up because my mom was shot in the arm. Um I don't know that it's her arm because
00:16:23
when I finally get upstairs, I try to go into now my bedroom. Uh and I can hear my mom on the other side of the door and
00:16:31
she said, "Why do you have to shoot me? You already shot me in the arm." And I'm
00:16:36
thinking she thought I'm just genuinely realizing this right now. I'm thinking she thought it was
00:16:43
maybe a police officer on the other side of the door. And so she's like she's saying all this
00:16:47
to like inform who's ever on the other side because why would she say that otherwise?
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And so I get scared by hearing that and I run into my parents' room and the whole time my my little brother stays
00:16:58
with me and I get up on the bed and I and I go to call for help. I call the emergency number again. Um, and I asked
00:17:07
them for uh three ambulance cuz I don't know where my brother is. Right. You still haven't found him?
00:17:14
No. Yeah. And then I I call another time. A 911 dispatcher hangs up on me. We don't know why, but they hang up on
00:17:23
me. And I realize I look over and I see my dad. And when I tell you it was like,
00:17:30
"Oh my gosh, he's going to help us. like why isn't he helping us? So, I tried to
00:17:36
wake him up, but I didn't know at the time. He was dead already at that time. My younger brother came around the side
00:17:44
of the bed uh and he saw my dad. I didn't, but I could tell by his reaction u that something was wrong. So, I just I
00:17:54
just left my dad. It's almost like I just moved away from him and I I didn't touch him again after
00:18:01
that. I just left him alone. Mhm. And it's at just after 6:00, between 6:00 and 6:30, um that my mom tries to leave
00:18:10
my bedroom and uh she's shot one more time. She shot in the shoulder, but because of the type of weapon it is, um
00:18:18
the the bullet spirals and so it severed her spinal cord and um she died right in
00:18:25
front of myself and my younger brother. The stalker stayed in my bedroom and then I heard a noise and it was the
00:18:34
sound of the gun. He turned it on himself and he committed suicide on my um childhood bedroom floor.
00:18:42
And we don't know that. So we stay in my parents' room. Um and eventually my mom's alarm goes off at 7 because she
00:18:54
would have been getting us ready for school. Yeah. Um, and I take the phone off the
00:18:59
hook at that point cuz it's like an alarm and phone allin one and I'm worried that he's going to come into the
00:19:04
room. Eventually, my younger brother and I move onto the floor and we're on the opposite side of the bed. Um, so we're
00:19:12
trying to hide there so that if he does get up, he can't see us. Uh, and so we continue to wait um and
00:19:20
wait. That was um quite a long time. and um where we're sitting and waiting and I never share it
00:19:32
cuz it feels so dehumanizing. Um so I had to go to the bathroom and I had broken my arm. um
00:19:46
rural winter wonderland of Manitoba and I had to have a bag over my arm. And so the option was to cross my mom's
00:19:58
body and risk him seeing us cuz I thought he was alive still or um I had to use the
00:20:06
garbage bag and like lay it out and then go to the bathroom. And so I always thought like when they came in after I
00:20:14
was mortified mortified of these police officers coming in and it just like it seemed so I don't know
00:20:26
it just seemed like we're already in this position and now I had to do this. When did someone finally come in?
00:20:38
Not until 8:30 in the morning. 8:30 and the stalker got to your house after midnight.
00:20:45
Your brother escaped after 2:30 and no no law enforcement came into the house until after 8:30 that morning.
00:20:54
8:30. And when they came in, they they just yelled out, "This one's gone. This one's gone." Well, first they, you know,
00:21:01
usual RCMP, whatever they might say, like weapons down here. Yeah. Um, and then I can just hear
00:21:08
them, one officer yell out, "This one's gone. This one's gone. And then this one's gone."
00:21:16
And then next thing you know, there was two paramedics um who were community members. They were my friend's fathers.
00:21:23
They came in, they threw two blankets over us and picked us up and carried us out. And when they were carrying us out
00:21:30
to the ambulance, I could hear a man speak and I thought it was my brother. I remember shifting a little my weight
00:21:36
like, "Oh my gosh, Carson's here. He's okay." You know, cuz at this point, I have no idea where he is.
00:21:42
You haven't seen him since you went to bed the night before. Yeah. And so we were put in the
00:21:47
ambulance and then they had asked the ambulance to be sent to the Miss Accordia Hospital so that we could go
00:21:53
see uh my mom's like co-workers and everyone there and that they could take over and look at us there just to make
00:22:00
sure that like we weren't hurt and nothing was done to us. Um, and it was there that they kind of coralled us into
00:22:09
a room and uh told us at that point that my parents had in fact died. Wow. The only thing I wanted was to see my best
00:22:19
friend. And I begged. I begged. I kept saying, "I just want to see Sheena. I just want
00:22:25
to see Sheena, who's my sister, who I call my sister now." And so finally she comes and we just I can my memory is
00:22:33
like so clear. I remember just running up to her and it was probably like the length of the couch distance but like I
00:22:41
just remember us running to each other and holding on to each other cuz it's all I wanted was her all day and I just
00:22:49
held on to her. I don't know. It was like I've got someone I love back with me. Mhm.
00:22:57
Um like an anchor. Yeah. Yeah. And what stands out to me in all of this is this was not You talked earlier about like
00:23:08
human error. This wasn't one human error two months before this happened. This wasn't one human error the night that it
00:23:16
happened. This was error upon error upon misstep upon misstep the entire way through.
00:23:24
Yeah. We have those two officers taking my mother's statement, failing to tell the judge about the rifle that she's
00:23:32
concerned about. Um, how about we go back to even 1990 where they let him out and they say that
00:23:38
he's he's no threat to society. Yeah. Yeah. And then from there, we have the the letter that was never filed,
00:23:46
the law clerk who accidentally the case being sent to family court, not criminal court. Exactly. And it
00:23:54
proceeding to go to the mediation in family court. Yeah. Absolutely. And then not even like
00:24:01
the inquiry process where I, you know, I didn't tell you how the judge blamed the
00:24:07
town's people saying that they should have done more to protect our family, which I'm sorry, I thought that's what
00:24:14
law enforcement was for. Like these are the very people put in place. Yeah. Right. like by the government to
00:24:22
protect you. To protect you quite literally their job. That's Yeah. That's that's kind of their
00:24:26
whole thing. Yeah. And then we have officers who, you know, didn't actually enter our home,
00:24:32
didn't SWAT, never came in, didn't get out to our community, the officer who fell asleep, like they're all taking the
00:24:40
stand. One officer says that my mom by throwing by telling him she threw the cake in the garbage that started it.
00:24:49
That was a reaction. Yeah. She She gave him She was the instigator. Yes. Oh my god.
00:24:54
Yeah. Not Not the man stalking her. No. Not his problem. Absolutely. Response to
00:24:59
that was the problem. Yeah. [Music] What was next for you and your siblings? Like what was the future like for that
00:25:27
for you guys? Yeah. So, a few days after, honestly, I don't even know how long after um they
00:25:34
passed uh we had the funeral in our community and I just think of how full the church was. It was filled with, you
00:25:44
know, the firemen, the community members, people from my mom's work. And I just remember sitting there and I was
00:25:52
still, you know, it was I was in shock like I I it's out of body kind of experience of like looking around and
00:26:01
thinking like, oh, everyone's here, but it still didn't really grasp the idea of
00:26:06
like what I had like completely lost and like this new normal there. Actually, there's a a news
00:26:14
clipping and I remember the memory so clearly, not of the photo of me, but like the other side of it as the
00:26:22
9-year-old looking at my parents' casket and just like kept reading, you know, like mom, daughter, those like name tags
00:26:31
that they put on caskets and it's like son, father, and I just like remember like looking over and over
00:26:40
and thinking like, "Oh my gosh, When we first moved there, we had to live with my aunt. It was hard because
00:26:51
we had to move within a month's time. And I mean, this was a community that I had known my whole life
00:26:57
and small intellect. Small. Yeah. I didn't want to leave. But Carson turned 18 within a month of moving out there. So
00:27:07
within 2 months of my parents passing away, he had turned 18. And so he like quote aged out, right?
00:27:13
He became an adult. Yeah. Which is just sad, I think, for him. Like I have a 19-year-old. I
00:27:20
couldn't imagine him just being like, "Okay, you're on your own now cuz no one's getting money for you to take care
00:27:26
of you." So, especially what he went through. Yeah. Um she had brought us to one
00:27:34
playbased therapy. Um and by doing so they suggested yes they do they could use therapy.
00:27:41
Yeah. You think? Yeah. But this is the '9s and um she never brought us again. And so we never had any formal like
00:27:52
professional help after that. And your older brother wouldn't have had nothing any because he was
00:27:58
quote unquote too old. Yeah. By the time he even got there and that would have been him to advocate
00:28:03
for himself. I mean, what as a kid? Yeah. I I don't know any 18-year-old that would be advocating for themselves
00:28:10
for mental health support. No. No. So, because of the lack of mental health support um along the way, my my
00:28:19
older brother um took his own life. That's ultimately what I would say it was really at the end of the day. So, um
00:28:28
he took his own life and he himself didn't make it to 38 either. and losing him was uh
00:28:37
harder than going through what I went through with my parents. Um just because he was my everything. Um
00:28:45
I looked up to him so much. Um so it was really hard losing him. And my younger brother, I noticed in 2023 his mental
00:28:57
health was on a decline. you know, when someone's not doing well. And I think that's what hits me so hard with this is
00:29:05
that in November of 2023, my younger brother uh took his life as well. And you know when they talk about
00:29:17
denial, I didn't feel that with my parents and I didn't feel that with my I mean I felt it with my older brother
00:29:24
where it's like oh I thought I saw him you know I saw a car driving by and I thought he was in it. Um this I
00:29:32
immediately said no no no let's go like we have to go check him like and that was really really
00:29:42
difficult um because I had been through it already right and you think oh you've been through
00:29:47
this already like okay in 2 weeks that's what I would tell myself 2 weeks you'll
00:29:52
be you'll be like not better but you'll be further along in this process um and with my brother's death. One
00:30:01
thing that had prepared me, my older brother's death for my younger brother's death was that I had this epiphany
00:30:08
moment with my older brother. I was driving down the street, someone was walking down the street and I thought,
00:30:15
"Oh, life goes on. Life goes on." And so when my younger brother died, I think I was quick to
00:30:24
want to like jump through this grieving process to like make life go on. Yeah. And it it doesn't obviously work
00:30:33
that way. And following my my brother's death, everyone I feel like was on high alert
00:30:40
for me, like wondering how I was doing mentally. Um and it took time. Um, I think I was just in
00:30:50
that like the depths of grief for so long. And it's funny actually, I just said to someone recently, I think it was
00:30:58
my older brother's birthday, he was born March 17th. So, it was the March 17th following my younger brother's death,
00:31:05
that I finally felt a little like myself again. Like, I can I could finally look at myself in
00:31:14
the mirror and I remember just being like, "Oh, hi." like there you are cuz it does mental health and like
00:31:22
losing someone to suicide is so hard. But then it was that realization after my brother my younger brother died
00:31:31
that he never made it to 38 either and then now I'm here and like why you know so constantly having to to go
00:31:41
through that and wonder why as in like why am I still here? Why me or a little bit of that?
00:31:51
What's the purpose? Mhm. Do I need to do something? Is there, you know, is there is there
00:31:57
something bigger? And I think that's why I have that um fear also of like when is
00:32:06
when is the is the saying the shoe going to drop for me? You know, so so what do you do for your own mental
00:32:16
health? We've we've talked a little bit about mental health and how important it
00:32:18
is having lived through this trauma. Like what what do you do for you? Yeah. Well, for the longest time, I
00:32:26
didn't want to talk about it, right? I think we all had this notion growing up like, oh, if I there's something wrong
00:32:32
with me or some way I feel, everyone's going to think I'm quote crazy, right? Um I'm lucky. I'm really have the most
00:32:41
amazing husband and my kids. So like they help me and then obviously yes therapy is is great as well. And then it
00:32:50
was in 2017 one of my cousins um she was working for the Ontario Federation for Friendship Centers. She said you know
00:32:59
your parents' names were named in some research done. There's grassroots organizations that had been fighting for
00:33:07
years, like years and years, asking for answers as to why is there such a high number of missing and murdered
00:33:15
indigenous people across the country? She was like, would you consider um testifying? And she had nothing to do
00:33:22
with the inquiry process, but if that's one more story that can hold the government accountable for sure,
00:33:30
then yes, of course. Yeah, definitely add your voice. Yeah. So, I said yes and I testified. I
00:33:36
shared my my story and just the way that that for people that don't know, it was
00:33:40
the National Inquiry for Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls to in Canada.
00:33:46
In Canada. Yes. Yeah. And it was really through that process that I met other family members and I kind of like set a
00:33:57
like a light bulb off like oh my gosh this isn't just the cards that I was dealt. M these cards have been dealt to
00:34:05
so many other indigenous people communities and as I met some people that had so many similar stories to me I
00:34:14
was like okay I need to be involved in this somehow and so then it was 2019 I get this call from the commissioner if I
00:34:24
would join the national family advisory circle and then it was there that I met other family members survivors in
00:34:32
hearing ing their stories. It shook me to my core. Um, and I thought, okay, more needs to be done and more needs to
00:34:43
be said and these people need to be heard, stories need to be heard. And so I continued on on the national inquiries
00:34:51
um, committee with the family members. And then we came to a closing where we handed over the final report, all the
00:34:58
research, the findings that had been, you know, brought together from these the evidence.
00:35:05
The evidence. Exactly. And it was there that I grabbed my husband's leg and I whispered to him. I said, "I get it."
00:35:11
And he said, "You get what?" Um I said, "I'm the girl." And he just like looked at me and I was like and I just was
00:35:19
overcome with emotion because I would I think that was kind of the first time I realized like I'm the girl that I
00:35:26
shouldn't be here statistically. Right. You're you're the statistic. I'm the statistic. Yeah. Um I'm the the
00:35:33
child that you know the systems are up against. I feel like that's such a sign that this is what you were meant to do.
00:35:43
I love that you said that. Uh because you don't even know this, but my spirit name um that I have that was gifted to
00:35:51
me by an elder is White Thunderwoman. Uh and he said that I'm here to make a lot
00:35:56
of noise. And so that's just so special that you said that cuz Yeah. You were making noise before you were
00:36:03
even trying to really. Yeah. Yeah. But you are doing actually so so much in advocacy. Can you talk a
00:36:13
little bit more about that and like how you got involved in it? It was a few months later a friend of
00:36:18
mine Dr. Robin Bourgeoir and she had uh decided to start the decolonial reading circle at uh Brock University. she um
00:36:28
had wanted to take action and I just admired that so much about her and so I joined the national I remember emailing
00:36:36
like can I join this this decolonial reading circle and so we you know became friends and eventually uh had the honor
00:36:45
of of co-hosting with her um and following her lead for this decolonial reading circle but I think that was kind
00:36:52
of that moment where I thought I can do something like there's something I can do too. And it was Robin who introduced
00:37:00
me to this incredible organization. It's Abby House. It's a transitional home for
00:37:04
indigenous women in in St. Catherine's. And I thought, okay, this is an organization I also want to get behind.
00:37:12
I really realized how much the decolonial reading circle really showed me, okay, you can do something yourself
00:37:18
as well. And I thought, okay, well, I'm going to do this fundraiser. And um boy am I ever happy I did because within 24
00:37:26
hours we raised $10,000. My god. Yeah. And that was that was it. Then I was like I want to start a walk. We
00:37:34
didn't we didn't have a walk for May 5th and so we started a walk and you know we're hosting it again this year. And
00:37:41
along the way through this journey being with community friends finding that place that I called home in St.
00:37:49
Catherine's has been a huge part. I think even for myself, mental health at that point, I didn't even realize
00:37:58
the importance of talking about it. And I have people ask me actually quite often, you know, like what are things
00:38:04
that you do? Like I think they're hoping to find an answer for themselves to help their own mental health journey.
00:38:11
And I just say like remember the things that make you feel good when you're in a good headsp space. What
00:38:19
are the things you're doing at that point? I still to this day when I go home I feel closer to my parents
00:38:26
and it's just that like nice connection that I get to go back there and then I feel closer to myself, tradition,
00:38:32
culture. Home is more than just like a a physical place. I think it's also like a
00:38:36
spiritual and emotional place too. Absolutely. And it sounds like that's what this community was to you.
00:38:41
Yeah. So that kind of leaves me with like a huge question for you. Where do you need us? What can we do?
00:38:50
That's a huge question. Um I will say this and and I and I've said this uh quite often since I heard
00:38:59
this elder say this. Now that you've heard my story, what will you do with it? now have the conversations with not
00:39:10
without and bring change for with indigenous people, right? Cuz I think a lot of times those conversations are
00:39:16
happening not outside of Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. And come out to gatherings. I always always say come to
00:39:26
like the May 5th walk for instance. find out where there are gatherings happening, where there is action taking
00:39:33
place, because that's where you're going to find out. And getting involved, and it's not like that one off, that one
00:39:39
time you're going to stand and you're going to march with us. It's the ongoing support.
00:39:44
Yeah, absolutely. That is where it helps. And like you I think a lot of people think, "Oh, I wouldn't be
00:39:51
welcome." No, you would be welcome because we know that the change for me anyway, it has to happen together. There
00:40:00
is power in numbers and that is where it will actually propel forward is if we're doing the work together. That's
00:40:11
why it's important come out to the events, do the work with not for but with communities. I'm one story,
00:40:20
right? Please channel this energy into all the other people or the people who are
00:40:26
searching for missing family members right now have no answers um or are being met, you know, with
00:40:34
roadblocks from the justice system like help them. my justice is this being talked about and for other people to
00:40:45
bring action for other people who are missing or are currently going through the court system for their murdered
00:40:52
loved one. So, we talked a little bit about how your mom was very aware that her life
00:40:59
was in danger, that at least her life was in danger, if not her families. If there's a listener out there right now
00:41:05
who who is in that place in their mind, they feel threatened. they feel like their life is in danger. What What can
00:41:11
they do to make their voice heard and protect themselves? Yeah. Well, first, if they haven't if
00:41:16
they have shared and they feel like they're not moving forward with the justice system, specifically like my
00:41:22
mother's case, um tell your friends, your family, um advocate for yourself. Yeah. And also do not question like no
00:41:33
matter what always follow your gut with it because our instincts we have them for a reason. We also as women are made
00:41:42
to believe that oh we're making it up. We're making a big deal out of it. Oh it's nothing.
00:41:49
But I think a lot of people might also keep it to themselves in fear of oh am I making this a big deal? I don't want to
00:41:56
burden anyone. No. any of your loved ones will not feel burdened, right, with these fears or concerns that you're
00:42:03
having. And this is something just to okay, flying here before I came, I thought, oh, the thing that's going to,
00:42:14
and this is a scary realization, the thing that's going to kill me is probably going to be my story.
00:42:22
Like that's a fear. like being an advocacy and sharing is is this what's going to kill me? Like is it is there am
00:42:32
I going to piss someone off? You know, so it's still there that fear. It feels like you're isolated for so long in
00:42:40
these situations and would anyone care? So, we care. We care. I appreciate that so much. Fallon, I
00:42:51
cannot thank you enough for being here and being willing to tell us and the Crime Junkies your story. Such an
00:42:58
important one. Um, is there anything else you'd like to add at the at the tail end of this? I think for me, I just
00:43:05
want people to understand that yes, my story happened in the '9s, but I hope that they can also see the ripple effect
00:43:15
of what this has on obviously my brother's lives, my life, like not to to take myself out of it as well, um but
00:43:25
then how it affects these communities and that you might see um an indigenous woman that is missing. But like we say
00:43:36
it for a reason. They are someone's daughter. They are someone's maybe mother. They're an auntie or sister, a
00:43:46
human. As much as you are giving ears to my story, listen to theirs as well. And remember that they are a part
00:43:56
of a community. I will be the first to say it. I am privileged and people will listen to me quite often. I'm white
00:44:06
passing and so I think for me I want to acknowledge that because then I also want people to shift and think would
00:44:14
they have maybe listened as intently if I looked different if you weren't you. Yeah.
00:44:23
Yeah. And you mentioned a GoFundMe. Yes. We'll make sure to link that in the show notes as well as resources for the
00:44:29
US and Canada. So, uh, listeners, be sure to check that out. And again, thank you so much for being here.
00:44:35
I honestly I just want to thank you because without platforms like this to share our stories, we do feel alone. So,
00:44:43
I appreciate it very much. [Music] [Music] that a hug. I know. I'm like I'm like, "Oh, there's
00:45:17
a microphone in between us." Oh my gosh, thank you so much. You were amazing. You
00:45:22
did such a good job. Thank you. [Music]

Badges

This episode stands out for the following:

  • 95
    Most heartbreaking
  • 90
    Most inspiring
  • 90
    Best performance
  • 85
    Most emotional

Episode Highlights

  • Fallon Finaci's Story
    Fallon shares her harrowing experience of surviving a home invasion that changed her life forever.
    “This is the story of Fallon Finaci.”
    @ 01m 16s
    May 09, 2025
  • The Ineffectiveness of Restraining Orders
    Fallon discusses the limitations of legal protections for victims of domestic threats.
    “What good is a restraining order? At the end of the day, it's a piece of paper.”
    @ 06m 31s
    May 09, 2025
  • A Child's Regret
    Fallon reflects on her childhood during the traumatic event and her feelings of helplessness.
    “I wish I had just plugged it back in.”
    @ 13m 10s
    May 09, 2025
  • The Moment of Realization
    Fallon recounts the moment she discovered her father had died during the attack.
    “I didn't know at the time. He was dead already.”
    @ 17m 42s
    May 09, 2025
  • A Desire for Comfort
    In the aftermath of tragedy, Fallon expresses a longing for her best friend.
    “The only thing I wanted was to see my best friend.”
    @ 22m 12s
    May 09, 2025
  • Reuniting with Family
    A powerful moment of connection as a sister is reunited after a long wait.
    “I just want to see Sheena, who's my sister.”
    @ 22m 25s
    May 09, 2025
  • Community Involvement
    A call to action for individuals to engage and support Indigenous communities.
    “Come to gatherings. I always say come to like the May 5th walk for instance.”
    @ 39m 23s
    May 09, 2025
  • The Ripple Effect of Loss
    Understanding the profound impact of losing loved ones on family and community.
    “I hope that they can also see the ripple effect of what this has on obviously my brother's lives, my life.”
    @ 43m 11s
    May 09, 2025

Episode Quotes

  • This is the story of Fallon Finaci.
    She Survived the Stalker Who Killed Her Parents. Did the System Fail Her?
  • I wish I had just plugged it back in.
    She Survived the Stalker Who Killed Her Parents. Did the System Fail Her?
  • I just left him alone.
    She Survived the Stalker Who Killed Her Parents. Did the System Fail Her?
  • I thought that's what law enforcement was for.
    She Survived the Stalker Who Killed Her Parents. Did the System Fail Her?
  • I couldn't imagine him just being like, 'Okay, you're on your own now.'.
    She Survived the Stalker Who Killed Her Parents. Did the System Fail Her?
  • We care. We care.
    She Survived the Stalker Who Killed Her Parents. Did the System Fail Her?

Key Moments

  • Home Invasion00:26
  • Fallon's Advocacy00:36
  • Community Threat02:51
  • Tragic Outcome18:25
  • Aftermath22:12
  • Justice System Failures24:12
  • Mental Health Struggles28:15
  • Grief and Loss28:37

Words per Minute Over Time

Vibes Breakdown