00:00:00
like, Mhm. Yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh. Right. Go
00:00:02
ahead. And you go, I don't want this.
00:00:04
You let go because it's like, this isn't
00:00:06
real connection. This string is going to
00:00:08
represent the connection between the two
00:00:10
of us. I'm going to ask questions
00:00:11
throughout this. Don't think about how
00:00:15
what the right answer is. Just go with
00:00:17
what your gut instinct of how it feels.
00:00:20
Stephen, how's it going, man?
00:00:22
>> It's going good. Yeah.
00:00:23
>> Yeah. What was something that frustrated
00:00:25
you yesterday?
00:00:26
>> My haircut didn't go to plan.
00:00:27
>> Tell me about it.
00:00:27
>> It's just not It's not good. I don't
00:00:29
like it.
00:00:29
>> Do you find that some of the the biggest
00:00:32
struggles you had yesterday was mostly
00:00:33
with business or personal or tell me
00:00:36
something with business?
00:00:37
>> Um struggles with business yesterday.
00:00:40
>> Yeah.
00:00:41
>> Oh, go ahead.
00:00:43
>> Okay. So, you're on your phone now.
00:00:45
>> And what did you feel in the line?
00:00:47
>> I felt like the tightness went it went
00:00:50
loose.
00:00:50
>> Yeah. It went slack. All right. But
00:00:52
that's the physical. What was
00:00:54
emotionally? How did that feel?
00:00:55
>> It felt disrespectful.
00:00:56
>> Yeah. Now, let's put it taught again.
00:00:59
And I'm talking to you and I say, "So,
00:01:02
what's what are you looking forward to
00:01:03
this weekend?"
00:01:04
>> I'm looking forward to
00:01:06
>> No, go ahead. And this is me just turn.
00:01:08
It's still tight. Don't worry. It's I
00:01:09
still am connected to you. No. Don't
00:01:10
worry about it. I'm I'm right here. Go
00:01:11
ahead. Yeah. Exactly. You see how all of
00:01:14
a sudden you wanted to let go now.
00:01:16
>> Yeah. Yeah.
00:01:16
>> Somebody gets on theirs and you don't
00:01:17
want to look awkward or odd. So, what
00:01:19
you you get out yours and next thing you
00:01:21
know, both of you are on your phones at
00:01:23
dinner. We were supposed to be
00:01:25
communicating with each other and you're
00:01:27
just staring at your phone. Let's say
00:01:30
you and I were having lunch and I'm
00:01:33
talking like this to you and I put my
00:01:36
phone right here. Do you feel a
00:01:37
difference?
00:01:37
>> Yeah, I do. Yeah.
00:01:38
>> Do you feel I'm more connected or less
00:01:39
connected?
00:01:39
>> Less connected.
00:01:40
>> Yeah. And if I
00:01:41
>> am priorities, not the priority.
00:01:43
>> Do you feel any different if I flip it
00:01:45
over?
00:01:45
>> Yes, I do.
00:01:45
>> And my face is it's it's down.
00:01:47
>> Yes, I do. It's a signal
00:01:49
>> of
00:01:50
>> that you think this is more important
00:01:51
and you don't want to be distracted.
00:01:53
Imagine what would you feel like if you
00:01:57
just said, "Hey, where's your phone?"
00:01:59
You said, "Oh, I just left it in the
00:02:00
car. I just want to sit with you."
00:02:02
>> Yeah. It's incredible.
00:02:03
>> Does anybody do that?
00:02:04
>> No.
00:02:04
>> No. Nobody does that. But if I have it
00:02:06
here, even if I put it face down on the
00:02:08
table and I'm talking to you, I'm at
00:02:11
least still having my world, my
00:02:13
business, my stress, my chaos. It's my
00:02:15
it's my pacifier. It's still there in
00:02:18
the conversation with us. So, even if I
00:02:19
put it down or I put it between my legs
00:02:21
or I put it in my pocket, which I think
00:02:23
is much better of not letting it come
00:02:26
out at all, what's the strength of the
00:02:28
connection? Because we've all been that
00:02:30
person like we just showed with the
00:02:32
string where they get out their phone
00:02:34
while you're talking and they're like,
00:02:35
"Mhm, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh." Right. Go
00:02:37
ahead. And you go, "I don't want this."
00:02:39
You let go because it's like, "This
00:02:40
isn't real connection." So, if you want
00:02:42
to be a better communicator, you have to
00:02:44
understand the definition of true
00:02:46
connection. It's keeping it taught.