00:00:00
If you had to give one relationship
00:00:02
ritual to stay in love, what would that
00:00:04
be?
00:00:04
>> Once a week, tell your partner three
00:00:06
things that you love about them and
00:00:08
three things they could have done
00:00:09
better.
00:00:09
>> But some people thinking, well, if I
00:00:10
told Dave that we're going to start
00:00:12
writing these notes to each other, he's
00:00:13
going to cringe and not going to do it.
00:00:14
I honestly Dave can't name
00:00:16
three things he likes about you. Really,
00:00:19
Dave? Is that a big ask? I absolutely
00:00:21
call on that. The bigger
00:00:23
question is what's uncomfortable about
00:00:24
that for you? And look, I'm not a
00:00:26
therapist. I'm a divorce lawyer. I
00:00:28
represent some of the most high
00:00:30
achieving minds, athletes,
00:00:31
entrepreneurs, and they're just as bad
00:00:33
at this as anybody because there's a
00:00:35
part of us that's afraid to poke at what
00:00:37
do you love about me? What am I getting
00:00:40
wrong? And it's not just romantic
00:00:42
relationships. Like,
00:00:45
my mom died 10 years ago after a long
00:00:47
battle with cancer.
00:00:49
There was a lot between us that needed
00:00:52
to be said and wasn't said.
00:00:56
And there's a part of me that wishes she
00:00:58
was here so that I could have apologized
00:01:02
for some things I got wrong. But we
00:01:04
don't do that because people just don't
00:01:07
want temporary discomfort. And so I
00:01:10
think there's something deeply
00:01:11
courageous about love, about commitment,
00:01:14
about saying I'm going to give them the
00:01:16
opportunity to hurt me. Like it's scary,
00:01:18
but I'm brave. You know, your marriage
00:01:20
will end. It ends in death or divorce.
00:01:22
And for two people at the end of their
00:01:24
relationship to say, "This person helped
00:01:26
me become the most authentic version of
00:01:28
myself." That's the greatest gift you
00:01:30
could give to another human being. And
00:01:31
as you can see from this photo, I just
00:01:34
proposed to my fianceé and I'd like some
00:01:36
advice on how not to mess this up. Like
00:01:38
if my fiance ends up walking into your
00:01:41
practice, what is the reason she's
00:01:42
likely to end up there? The number one
00:01:44
reason that I'm going to have a woman
00:01:46
sitting across from me divorcing someone
00:01:47
who's a great provider, great protector
00:01:50
is
00:01:52
that is not obvious to everybody
00:01:54
>> and it'll keep me in business for the
00:01:56
rest of my life.
