00:00:00
not really ever spoke about it in depth
00:00:02
like this.
00:00:04
Nothing prepares you in life for those
00:00:06
kind of situations,
00:00:08
but I felt like I'd failed at the time.
00:00:10
That's the truth. And it's still
00:00:12
something that I'm unpacking still to be
00:00:14
honest.
00:00:15
Louie, you spoke to your sister Lotty
00:00:17
about this. Would you like to see it?
00:00:21
Louis Tomlinson.
00:00:24
I didn't spend my life as a young lad
00:00:26
thinking I was going to be a singer.
00:00:27
Like, I grew up in a working-class town.
00:00:29
Seven of us living in a three bed house.
00:00:31
Like my mom used to work a lot of
00:00:33
nights. She had to play dad as well. So
00:00:35
I would have to get my sisters ready for
00:00:36
school. So people in Doncaster didn't
00:00:38
get those opportunities. And then the X
00:00:40
Factor came along. I auditioned three
00:00:42
times. First time I failed. The second
00:00:44
time I failed. And I remember thinking,
00:00:45
"This is utterly crushing. Just so me."
00:00:48
But she made me feel like I could do
00:00:49
anything. So instead of running away, it
00:00:51
was like I know I deserve it. I know I
00:00:54
can't. So how do I relearn confidence
00:00:56
and go for a third time? When I think
00:00:58
about what happened in the preceding
00:00:59
five or six years, it is crazy.
00:01:02
Yeah. And the toughest thing to deal
00:01:03
with is just the lack of normality and
00:01:06
part of growing up in a working-class
00:01:07
town. I have this like guilt for the
00:01:09
success and money that I've earned. And
00:01:11
then personal work within the band I
00:01:13
really really struggled with.
00:01:15
But you co-wrote 15 platinum singles.
00:01:17
But I wanted to do more. But mostly for
00:01:19
me, I didn't realize the value of family
00:01:21
time. And the more time I spent in the
00:01:23
band, the more time I spent away from
00:01:24
home, like two of my sisters who are
00:01:26
identical twins. I've never told them
00:01:28
this, but I wasn't confident enough to
00:01:29
tell them apart. That shows just how
00:01:32
little I was at home.
00:01:34
And then it ends.
00:01:36
And what was really strange was being 24
00:01:38
years old, realizing that the only way
00:01:40
is down from it.
00:01:41
Louis, there's so many things that
00:01:43
happened in your life. How does a young
00:01:45
man grieve? It's not really something I
00:01:47
speak loads about, but I'm I'm happy to
00:01:49
because I cannot have that define me.