Yabba Dabba Dr. Phil | Ep 199 ft. Adam Ray | Bad Friends

happy New Year Thanksgiving no dude it's just the New Year all right and welcome to the we got tour dates welcome to the

we've got tour dates welcome to it we're going to be in Atlantic City New Jersey Salt Lake City Utah Tula California Reno

Nevada Sacramento Long Beach California wi Ontario Canada Niagara Falls Canada

Tucson Ariz and we finished the tour 420 in Las Vegas I can't wait for that Las

go to badri pod.com for tickets badri pod.com YouTube are bad friends who are

these two idiots a white dude and an Asian dude you two are

disgusting you two are something we're bad friends happy New Year year happy New

Year it's 2024 Happy New Year to all the bad friends what a year we've had what a

year we've had a new year take that out of your mouth why what did we learn over the weekend we learned that Bobby and I

are both year of the pig if we want to talk about our birth years yep he's a I'm gold Pig Golden Pig and I'm a water

Pig you're a water Pig yeah yeah I don't know what a pig what does a pig sound

like in water huh hypot hypop hypop

that's actually very smart Rosia Donald's a water pick too okay her birth year oh okay yeah that makes sense no

she's a little water oh yeah what rest rest in peace she's not

dead oh I know is she no but I saw her they she was cool we're going to kill her you know on the show we say somebody

name oh sorry no no no I want her to live you guys Happy New Year U congratulations to everyone for

surviving over the year and let me say something right now man what a beautiful 2024 we got ahead of us we got some

stuff lined up yeah what are your resolutions my resolutions are to get off of um cholesterol

medication I want to get in good enough heart health shape so I don't have to take cholesterol medication that would

include not doing this podcast [Laughter]

anymore happy New Year guys uh what I have no idea sorry excuse me can I help

you yeah oh this isn't the intervention for uh the the [ __ ] the [ __ ] that guy

part I'm sorry my agent my agent told me that uh I was doing a pod today and she

said improvise as much as possible yeah so I wanted to come in hot you know no pun intended brought a nice coffee you

sure did but I also brought a a mindset you Jeremiah Watkins the beginning what that you came in too hot came in too hot

oh is he known for doing that yes well way too hot is that what he's known for Dr Phil do you want to put on your head headphones that way you can hear us

always I want to hear and feel everything you guys are doing because I've been watching from afar and it's nice to see it up close us headphones

there before Dr Phil Dr Phil can somebody help Dr Phil please well I do

think it's important for us to celebrate what we've uh created oh Bobby you can go first oh

yeah yeah we're 2024 is around the corner what did 2023 bring to you and then I'll get to you Andrew oh okay oh

well I just you know I you know my enemy I said no to my enemy and I I put him on

in his tracks and that eneme is called ice cream you're not going to stop eating ice cream it's called My eneme is

called ice I thought you were going to say like Jackie Chan no not Jackie Chan no man he's a good guy I'm a good guy

for sure but I still would love to see a fight to the death yeah yeah Jackie Me and Jackie yeah over a bowl of mint

chocolate chip uh well that's cool congrats are you a are you really trying to quit ice cream for real yeah you are

yeah because you know all my you know what I'm going to do now uh oh I'm sending gallons of McConnell's ice cream

to your front door for the next month straight me yeah okay it's going to be out there baby yeah he's it's just going

to melt out there cre a sticky River for sticky a little sticky River he he's

going to want to slide down in that steep driveway and at the bottom of that I'm going to put up one of those little like Kitty pools it's just going to

slowly fill up with melted ice cream so every time you back out of your car how are you going to resist get out what

flavor if you get the flavor right then maybe it's going to be bad buddy I'm going to do all of them you're not going to get one flavor it's going to be like

suicide from a fountain drink but let me say something yeah I I've questioned our friendship and I don't think you know me

a I don't think you know me so I want to ask you what kind of ice cream would I be tempted to eat good question thank

you so so much doctor and if you get that right dude we're besties if you get it wrong we have a long way to go my

friend well no there should be a real bet here if he gets it wrong something have to happen to him like what I don't

know maybe gets punched in the taint Dr Phil Dr Phil you're aggressive how you solve [ __ ] on your show yeah no but I'm

not on my show any right you're on my show correct so shut the [ __ ] up W how does that feel Dr you know what it feels

can I be honest it feels good he likes to be talked to like that I do some I I make my wife wear a mask

of me just to know what it's like to go [ __ ] myself wow wow wow so you were saying

about your favorite creamy what you tell what your favorite kind of ice cream is yeah do you know what it is yeah oh give

me okay go ahead I bet I know well here is it well

here's the hard part that's why because you're not no I know you well but you're not shy when it comes to Indulgence it's

not like one is your ultimate I know if you I five that I like if you can name one of the five well rocky road for sure

is one that's not my number one I know that's it I know well then why did you even I was going to say sugar-free Red Bull they don't make make ice like that

attitude oh you're right we want that to happen that's actually true yeah yeah we want it to happen you're manifesting it

he is let me ask you something when you moved out your house how come you machine guns on the [ __ ] wall you see that yeah yeah I mean you know do you

see that his house was that his house yeah look at Dr Phil's house online what's the deal dude when you moved out what was this about you just you just

load up AK what is that all about D well to be fair I've never seen this picture before but I will tell you this much I

have so many rooms in my house I've got an arcade I've got a I've got a room that's just filled with Beday so you

have one of those you have one of those shitty days literally okay and you just want to pop around to each [ __ ] hose

and let them just you know take you to town but the Gun Room came into play when I saw um the new Grand Theft Auto

came out and then I had also seen a mission impossible movie and had a couple run-ins at the local Ride Aid

where I was like I wish I was packing so um built a room hung up some memorabilia

uhhuh can you zoom in on that I mean that's an Aston it's also in your dining room look at the toys too yeah to the

left the my favorite part is all the uh added on are you a big mirami fan oh mirami miraoui

uh I uh what is it ter what terasu terasu no the origami origami so you've

got on wall from what we can see there's a hand about five or six assault rifles yeah imagine being an Uber eat driver

and getting my order wrong and still having the nerve to show up imagine me walking you into that room and going maybe next time you don't forget the mac

salad you honestly would invite a new bit guy into your house hey I'm trying

to play a cool in 20 no I didn't know you were that kind of guy I'm realizing how humble and cool you are yeah I mean I try to relate it's you get to a

certain level and you guys are are are are in it right now you know where the where the tide is changing you're jumping out into the ocean with not just

a surfboard but a game plan uh what the [ __ ] are you talking about I have no idea what he's talking about Jess you

know you tell yeah he's saying you're you're guys is famous Dr Phil level Fame oh oh wow what's this relationship about

how do you know Dr pH I just watch a lot Facebook yeah well I follow you on Facebook you do you do I follow about 16

people on Facebook Dave koler yeah Jess uhhuh um [ __ ] Tony robbins's uh course agent

let me guess um Tac Chopra Tac chra [ __ ] yeah Gary ve Gary V Canon uh the

situation the situation yeah it got to be the situation Um Papa John just because I love a good racist rant from

time to time all right right I know I know Mike Lindell boom what a funny guy yeah he is hilarious hilarious yeah good

yeah and then is that all the people that's there's three or four more in there what about what about Marlo Cyrus

the other Miley Cyrus's unknown sister yep and then uh there's a guy that looks like Billy Alish that works at Trader

Joe's oh William ish yep I know him and then um uh Billy Billy Billy as we call

him and then um Billy Jo Armstrong from Green Day there's a yep I follow him and Billy Joel yep and then Billy Joel Billy

Joel the actual Billy Joel no there's a an actor who plays Billy Joel yep he's a stunt guy I guess sometimes Billy Joel

falls off stage from playing piano so there's a guy that comes out and then Obama's fan page I follow oh good so cuz

if you didn't say that cuz all they were all pretty much white they were all white except for Indian deepo yeah oh no he's white oh he is

pretty white very T very tan very that's a Scooby-Doo situation really you'll pull back did

you read his books Scooby-Doo No de chra yeah yeah Scooby-Doo has a couple

what was it what's it R daa oh my God wrong dog wrong dog oh what it the wrong

dog wrong dog wait what was I even doing I didn't know see I started doing a Scooby-Doo but

then I forgot what you did Fred Flint Fred Flint I forgot what he so

I oh my God there's not enough space in my heart that is so bad that's my bit to

do what Raba daa Doo that's my bit I stole your bit you don't rabaa Doo dude

that's me you know what you sound like that's not Scooby-Doo that's like Scooby-Doo's

is uh Nemesis raw dog oh oh a less

popular cartoon for some reason yeah raw dog can you imagine a true animated series called raw dog oh my God it's

like a it's like a crime fighting Crim solving dog and his arch nemesis is a

condom oh yeah just a big like a just a big Dr condom just a Dr condom King

Koopa for Mario Brothers Dr condom yeah yeah I'm going to cover you up

no yeah and raw dog's like I got to I'm trying to I'm trying to [ __ ] [ __ ] up in this city wait wait Rod dog's not a dog

oh he is but he talks oh I didn't know okay clearly yeah okay you just talked yourself out of an EP

credit oh I'm sorry we were producing this thing my bad hey you always got to be thinking of [ __ ] I just F to excuse

me okay classic coming scarier than that needed to be do

you know what that was Dr pH ghost genuinely yeah we have a ghost yeah so

there was a young small gentleman who used to be on the show and he passed away live in the studio he used to drink

wine often on here and he passed away in the studio and that was a little ghost of him trying to rest his little head on

one of those and popped it how big is his [ __ ] head it's pretty tiny okay you want to say anything to the

afterlife he's in the room right now well I've read a bunch of things on how to get rid of ghosts and I've they

actually say You're supposed to ask the ghost if they know they're dead or not which to me feels counterproductive hey

hey you guys are [ __ ] dead you know that and then they're like yeah but they can't talk back cuz they are dead do you

get what I'm getting it no no absolutely not I honestly don't okay well let me

let me just hey little boy uh your balloon uh uh charade scared the [ __ ]

out of me but I but I get it and I get what you're doing and I get why you're doing

it but I I want to know if you could come back here and and uh be back on the

show bad friends what would you do what would you add my email is at Phil fill itup

aol.com yeah hey Phil fill it up did I stutter you said at Phil oh at

Phil fill it up fill it up you talking to like a gas station attendant it's hey

Phil fill it up Phil fill it up I got it f i l l for fill it up or Phi Phi okay

okay so hold on one second one of my first jobs was a let's be quiet and let's see if he'll answer your question love that ready be quiet go

ahead why'd you look at me I thought I had to do something no I thought I thought I thought it was like your look

was like callback Loop no it was it was it was perfect yes okay fancy would just

add in Doc's voice being like yeah Tino oh in the background yeah yeah yeah yeah that's good the rabaab is even better

RAB I'd love to be uh just a a fly on the wall inside your brain is that phrase was getting conu

yeah as you go I'm saying [ __ ] again or whatever the [ __ ] you said Jessie what are your New Year's

resolutions honestly or funny no honestly I sto smoking cigarettes okay and then funny um probably smoke more

cigarettes smoke heroin oh I've never done it but I'm a trumpet player and I think it would Elevate me to the next

level now do is a trumpet known for being like conducive for drug abuse hell

yeah you ever heard miles David come on dude onth a yeah but what was he sucking on sipping

on sucking he's probably sucking too he's on heroin he he did hookers yeah

this might be a good segue into the my Hook movie I that's right I A Hook movie

it's pretty woman me [ __ ] nights oh I I like to talk about my real addictions

no well can we get hold on do you really think this is a very interesting question do you think that the influence

of drugs elevated artists more than they would have ever been without it the reason I

asked is because I saw a video an hour ago of Bradley no's son performing and

he sounds exactly like him and I literally was eating thinking I wonder

if this kid sober is as talented as his dad was

I don't know Bradley noes uh Sublime Sublime oh yeah yeah yeah well let me ask you this could he imitate his dad if

his dad never did Drugs That's what I'm saying so it is the drugs isn't it it is the drugs that's that's my point as I kept eating being like it's got to be

the drugs yeah we should do some drugs right now I am down I told you that I'm down dude Jacob null is that his name

yeah there was a video that was viral on the internet of him singing at a bar somewhere and uh it sounded exactly like

dude it was like shocking how close it was well weren't The Beatles All on crystal myth no no you're thinking of

something I'm thinking of someone you're thinking Twisted Sister there it is yeah also a great band yeah yeah Twisted

what was what was the Twisted Sister song he had one good song right he he sung uh Twisted Sister what's a big head

Twisted Sister All You Need Is Love no no that's the beetle what the [ __ ] sorry no no it was uh hold your hold my hand

no no um it was um what was it it was a safety dance or no not saf what was the

Twisted Sister main song uh their number one s girls rock the boys yeah girl come

on feel the noise Rock we get

wow why you do it like my mom where you guess you know it phonetically but

you're guessing yeah I don't know the lyrics [ __ ] us yeah you you are like what an Asian

kid does when a band comes to their you know what I love is like Afghan I saw this one Afghanistan guy or some some

guy that you know Middle Eastern guy no and he was like singing a song an song

but he was just making up the lyrics But he sounded oh I saw that guy on the internet yeah I've SE I like when that happens yeah because phonetically they

phonetically I don't know who said that maybe I think I remember watching an interview with uh what's the kid's name

Brandon from Incubus he said it was wild we would go to like Japan and they would

phonetically know word for word let me make up a song with gibberish English

okay well what's you have to have a root song and then do no I just make up a song too okay great do

[Music] it sit it down rolling around and G down

in the you sound like a deaf person it's like a Jeff girl

imitating try there's no way that singer can hear properly well I tried I [ __ ] it up turning up in my headphones that's

what that sound you try one you try one that's hard um okay no English but it's got to sound like English

G don't get

it got to

no good that was also de sounding I know they all sound I would love to hear a

hoodie in the Blowfish cover of that a lot of hoody the Bulet songs kind of sound like that yeah scar it almost

hoody sounds like hoodie hoodie hoodie and um Red Hot Chili pebes no stone tble

Pilots could be kind of Spin Doctors right in the

same all right Jess let's hear you do a song that has no English on it no rhythm we've heard before no rhythm you've

heard before well we just did two songs that you've never heard before you didn't hear those Rhythm but I lock to

say yeah to be oh I like that yeah very Pearl

Jammy very Pearl Jammy all right Dil you're up

[Music]

chck Chicken Fun Fun Fun chicken whels are

fun Michael McDonald yeah oh I love me Michel taking it to the streets taking

it to the streets that guy what was he taking by the way I have no idea probably some hookers who that was one

of my one of my audition one of my test auditions for SNL was uh on the original tape I Didn't Do It live was uh Michael

McDonald ordering at McDonald's very funny do the BET can we hear it I'll have a number one without cheese please

didn't end up doing it live but I put it on the original tape because I thought it was ridiculously stupid Michael McDonald ordering

McDonald's hold the pickles please hold the pickles please hold the pickles please that's a great bit Yeah well it

it did not they were like don't do that live now did you did you purposely want to sing because there's always a singer

on the show yeah no I just I just thought it was a really I was high and I thought

can I tell you a character I did for my my TV audition please I didn't know how to do Impressions still don't I know

yeah we saw we saw your Scooby you didn't though then too yeah do your Scooby-Doo again Scooby Doo what that's

deaf de Scooby that's de Scooby hearing impaired

scoobydoo still Jo scoob wait that de Shaggy yeah de Shaggy

yeah de Shaggy pretty good great R so so they go they go we need three Impressions from you and I was like I

don't know how to do it in my mind right so I I thought number one this is how clever I am right I go I want to do

impressions of people that they don't know what they sound like they're famous smart yeah so I so I saw this interview

with Chia Yan fat he was on E and every and I explained this to the producers when I audition I go every three lines

he would change his position so he go how you know how they over pronunciate Chinese hello my name is chaon fat you

know what I mean and I would start like this right and every every three lines I would change but by the end of the

auditions I was on my head in the corner of the room backwards oh my God you mean I did the interview like that and it

crushed but I I so I decided to just you know figure out what the sketch was

right yeah and let that be the thing that's going to be funny rather than the impression smart thank you z z you guys

Zach is my favorite thing in the whole world because you know I'm getting older and I get little aches and pains you get a lot of aches and and I go to Zach do

the app and I try to find the right doctor and it's the best they have reviews yeah you can find patient reviews real people

have reviewed these doctors I used doc do for the first time when I moved to the new neighborhood because I didn't know where to get a doctor or who to

turn to and I asked a couple of friends and to be quite honest I was like I'd rather just do my own research on Zach do you can find a book doctors and make

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Zach do is anywhere between 24 to 72 hours that's all it is I mean a lot of times it takes so much longer to find

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rocket money you guys you know I have so many

subscriptions too many that I don't even I'm not even aware of right from games

to to to streaming services like but my point is is that you have so much so um

if I asked you how many subscriptions you have would would you be able to list them all and how much you paid no chance

if you asked me this question before I started using rocket money I would have have to say yes but let me tell you I

would have been so wrong I can't believe how many I had all that money I was wasting all that money you were wasting

and here's the here's the deal finally through rocket money is able to save a pretty fair amount of money their average they save is $720 a year that's

remarkable how many people are wasting money on stuff that they'll never need or never use and I've signed up for many many apps that thankfully rocket money

said are you still using this and I was like I don't even know what that is it was like a sneak it was like a sneaker

club that I no idea confusing rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted

subscriptions monitors your spending and helps lower your bills rocket money has over 5 million users and has helped save

its members an average of $720 a year with over 500 million and canceled subscriptions that's amazing stop

wasting money on things you don't use cancel your own wanted subscription by going to Rocket money.com bfri that's

rocket money.com bfri rocket money.com then you did Connie Chung I

didn't audition with they made me did you ever meet her in real life Dr Phil oh I've met uh Connie Chung and Michael

Chang the tennis player yeah yeah every sort of Chun chain combination I've met

maybe all the Chinese people you've met okay okay boy what are we 20 minutes in I thought you were going to ask me that

from the GetGo uh Michael changen check Jackie Chan check yeah Jet Lee

chck um who was the other one I said Connie Chung yeah yeah and then Connie

had a whole family with her so met all them mild ch ch ch yeah yeah one of the

most underestimated of the CH family yeah um boy Ariana y Ariana Chong Ariana

Grande no Chong her last name is Chong yeah oh it is yeah oh I did yep you got

you don't spend a lot of time online do you uh there's also [ __ ] help me out

Andrew uh won't do it okay do it fair enough and then I well oh no then the

guy from um from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to secret of the used Splinter he played Kino Splinter Lee remember the

guy well Splinter Lee yeah but then Kino remember the pizza delivery guy oh yeah Kino yeah Kino I think he was in three

ninjas he was in three ninjas how about the guy that how about the guy Rufio Rufio oh yeah yeah James C and Lee from

Heroes what about what about few what about the guy in L Liu Kang in the in the action series Mortal Kombat yeah Liu

Kang you met him that might be the one that I've yet to get a face to face with Chung Lee you know Chung Lee from The

Street Fighter yeah oh yeah and I [ __ ] a couple Chung Le in my day H really

well this is college preol you know where' you go to school tlane you went to two lane University I'm pretty sure

yeah okay well what' you study there uh biochemistry really minor let's go to go

to your Wikipedia page to find out how much you know about well it's not up to date but but the um I did uh well let's

click let's hold on one second let's let's get this uh and by biochemist I meant like you know radio and television

uh no Communications there you are dude what a nice photo so zoom in please on

college career go to college Bor old go I think it was Missouri State I tried to get into but they you know the program

there the Mississippi State Midwestern is where I end going that you went to shaie Mission North High in Overland

Park then you played linebacker high school that's correct you went to University of Tulsa you were in a football scholarship you you failed to mention that Tulsa two lane you know

tomato tomato R off not even close then say you transfer to Midwestern State University in witw Falls Texas that I

remember you do look when you do so much cool [ __ ] yeah right you just forget what did Jay-Z say like some you know I

got two for my pimps and six for my hose or something didn't say that well Andrew you get it I mean like you probably

don't even think about uh when you were on the office because you've done so much cool [ __ ] S no I think about it I

[ __ ] that up pretty bad well that was one of my favorite episodes really Dr Phil well just cuz I've always wanted to get on a boat and travel the world and

I've never done it and that episode if we can cut to it was there was we can't I'll explain it there was you on a boat

Ed Helms was taking off for Florida I believe and you were giving them the boat and you had a sweater a boat

sweater that's right and uh and I just got real jealous because I've always want to hop on a boat Dr Phil you can

afford to be on a boat I think you're very well off yeah but not the type that like that Ed Helms was in the office

like a little Fisherman's Boat oh I can't afford that well look at this that the internet says your net worth is $460

million a lot of boats it's a bit low yeah if I buy you a boat is that weird literally a boatload of money let's go

we'll let it in some laughter pH you've accumulated an absurd

amount of money what have you what are you doing for your community I was told there'd be no

charitable uh question inquiries but I'll tell you there's an orphanage called Loving Hands that I just donated

uh some some funds to really is that the Catholic priesthood what is that no it's a you know kids that are uh tossed to

the side or babies that are born but you know the parents are like you know we

got to go to Denny's we can't be a dad so they drop the kid off and then Loving Hands picks him up okay I want I

actually want to approach something real fast with this guy we there's some controversy that we want to go over right now if you don't mind Dr Phil sure in February of last year dozen current

Informer employees of your show alleged that they had experienced verbal abuse in a workplace that Fosters fear intimidation and racism seven employees

currently still claim that the show guests often manipulated and were treated unethically attorneys for for

you Dr Phil and your co-producer Carla pingon they categorically denied every allegation however I feel like you've

had some hush money paid out well I prepared a statement oh thank

you uh in response to the recent allegations uh i' just like to say

uh and you sound like a bunch of [ __ ] ass losers wow wow you wrote that down

well I tped it okay yeah uh now can I also ask you in 2016 you and your wife filed a $250 million defamation lost

they lost you yeah yeah so and what ended up happening with that I mean you know you've been to court no you ever

seen a mirase traffic court bit yeah such a good bit one of my favorite bits about traffic I think that that that day was

just see Amir k no I said Circle K the gas station what are you doing your deaf comic bit again oh my god dude this

guy's ripping you you need to take a time out I apologize hey can I be honest

I drink a Four Loco in the car wow that was like that really pissed

me off real dude you know you know what I feel like I feel like trying to come hard in the pain at a diner and you're

just not having it cuz you're buying we're going to blank that name out by way yeah

yeah um can't be just okay let's move on so so court but Amir K the court bit I

love the court bit but what I hate about court is that you're there for something important and I didn't want to be so

Andrew that sorry dude that lawsuit was a real pain in my too okay so you know what I don't want to bring that up

anymore I apologize but I will say you you made bad baby famous right that's

like on not on purpose either but it was inevitable certain people have Stark quality jety let's yeah let's talk about

it to my right there's a there's a star shining and you can see it and you understand it and you want it to shine

bad baby no one had any intention of seeing her fly uh up into the sky and I

apologize for rhyming so quickly but I just I think that what she's doing is uh

impressive and it's uh I stand by the choices she made yeah she came on my show and I'll be honest with you Andrew

and Bobby when she first opened her mouth all I could think in my head was shut your [ __ ] dumb mouth you stinky

[ __ ] who but then that's a little aggressive Dr Phil oh but then she spoke and I go I get it you knew right away I

could tell you could tell cuz the the attitude was real and the character was relatable kind of like Theo

Von we'll blink we'll blur that name no no we don't have to blur that we'll just how about we blank off

the Theo and see if people can guess what V we're talking about I bet they will can we switch a little bit I want to ask about your show real quick please

may I yeah please you guys were a guest and and phenomenal appreciate you okay

anyway um a lot of times I see on your show you have people with phobias what's the

craziest phobia you saw in your show very good well Arachnophobia is a big one fear of spiders spiders that's not

that's not really a big one yeah yeah I've seen like cucumbers people are afraid of cucumbers well let me finish in the Jewish Community yeah careful Dr

Phil when you say spiders wait when you say spiders do you mean Hamas is that what you're talking about

well now that we're here yeah oh wow so so let me just back that up okay and put

it in reverse you could keep that in because it's I'm not saying okay yeah oh yeah no we're keeping it in my lawyers

already drafted up a whole thing about this yeah yeah yeah I the the the

biggest phobia I saw was the fear of public speaking okay I get that but the biggest fear yeah was fear of sexual

intimacy okay and and and still not weird but well I've seen other shows seen people okay okay let me finish with

hermaphrodites oh so hermafrodit intimacy who's playing Coachella I think

next year no no second night this year second night second night they're doing the hologram thing t with Tupac uh fear

of fear of just sexual touching and then fear of um gas stations you ever seen

Strange Addiction on A&E yeah where like a girl be like I can't start my day unless I eat a bar of soap and you're

like well I feel bad for you but also gross gross yeah so we just try to deal

with it as it comes but phobias are uh everyone's got a phobia of something what's your phobia

Phil well ghosts who pop balloons unexpected

big fear um I heard you say black people yeah but that was a

joke okay okay yeah I mean you know what's your real fear Dr Phil I want to break you down what is genuinely the

thing that that that shakes you really gets under your skin you ever playing a pickup game at 24-Hour

Fitness basketball yeah oh yeah and someone's uh you know talking a little bit too much [ __ ] and they can't back it

up so you dig deep right you stretch a little bit extra and you uh you throw a couple bows you drop a little Charles

Oakley on them mhm but sometimes that doesn't go your way and they ban you from that 24-Hour Fitness that's your

fear well I'm getting to it my fear is not being able to control my anger oh

okay against certain kinds of people that's not what I'm saying well it did sound like it well okay look most of the

pickup games are uh featuring list and wide characters yeah Dr Phil you can

just say I'm racist say that I won't say it you won't okay I won't say it because

Oprah will be mad oh I've been with everybody and I think once you experience everybody you get to know truly that this country is made up of a

of a cool species of people what I'm listening actively let

me ask I want to see if you're were the real Dr Phil um there was a comedian that taught you how to play tennis yeah who was that

comedian's name taught him is that true oh Kirk Fox yeah want to see my Kirk Fox

impression yeah that's really good you do know him very good very good you do know well

we're all just doing it e took us took it again very good

what Mitch he wanted so you know but I don't do Impressions actively seems like you do

yeah we I taught Kirk tennis he's got a good good forehand backhand could use some work you taught him tennis oh yeah

I thought he taught you know he was like a professional going around telling everybody that he taught me let's okay

and I don't want to say I write a lot of his material because I don't but I have influenced some punch lines wow you guys

know what it's like when you're hanging out busting balls someone says something funny and they go you going to use that you do that with him I don't have to but

I do it what's Dr Phil's favorite meal swimming M after breakfast cuz it

challenges my body to step up uh right breakfast you don't have a great body Dr

F it's not where I want it to be but 2024 is coming up and I'm looking to I don't know get a stair stepper or a a

trainer OIC oh you're going to get on the Oz is that what the kids are calling it it's yeah and you should know that

for your show yeah I'd suck on Dorothy's titties CU your friend your friend well I I can take you down that yellow brick

road your friend Oprah revealed she was on toic yeah what now is this

why you got influenced to do it because the Big O did it well I prepared a statement [Laughter]

oh so Oprah as you said recently on the uh on the Oz is that all written on one

paper or is this a yeah I prepared a lot of statements all right uh it's a size

eight Courier new you're a courier new guy yeah I look

at you I think I think wingdings all day now which one is that again cuz it's been a minute since I've paper it's all

the simple that's great that's wingdings that's a Dr Phil get it together bud

right so a lot of heat is coming towards my pal Oprah they go hey you were bigger

and now you're not what' you do well in her defense you know food has been an issue for quite some time as it has been

for me as well one night in particular I think it was 1996 and I just uh gotten

some sort of an award and we were getting little Stony blone and dipping gushers into Cool Whip I digress but I

think that that night told us a lot about ourselves that we we have a sugar addiction so leave her leave leave her

the [ __ ] alone wow I'm glad you write this stuff down yeah there we are toasting I think

that's when I I think I just I don't know dyed my pubes or something what we no she was to oh that was when the the

book came out I will say that's a very relatable thing to drink cryistal I think most Americans oh that picture was

not staged I would say most Americans want to see you in a in lubaton shoes cheers and chrisal you want to get back

to your roots you want to relate to the people you got to wear $5,000 shoes drinking drinking $2,000 champ we're of

the people Dr Phil we're people people it's a good Oprah we're people people

yeah she says that a lot we're people're people people well I love the Big O because she's Chicago she represents my city I love that now was she going to

taping seems like almost like a Mad TV taping from the 90s energy I was on that show I know that's why I brought it up I

know yeah let's not go back to it yeah yeah not bring enough big fan I went to Jerry Springer when I was in high school did you really yeah that's awesome on

senior ditch day are you [ __ ] kidding me I swear to God on senior that's where we went that's we went to Jerry Springer

downtown um a he was a legend and B the audience must have been banana City

we'll be right back keep her right here no yeah I went to Jerry Springer I just I don't know

why we haven't talked about this from my senior ditch day I didn't know that it was [ __ ] the most fun I think I've ever had was there violence that day you

I bet you can guess the category of what it was that day baby's mama baby's mama was the first one what do you think the

second one was animal attack videos no but that's very good I wish we got an animal so baby's mama and then um who's

the daddy who's the daddy oh who the daddy that's the category was called the baby mama that was the first one what's the second one called um was it

rebellious kid no not rebellious teen those are my those are great when they

get scared straight you see the one where the guy's like you [ __ ] you and

then the kids's like he's like what where's your dad and he's like and he's like you want me to be

your dad and then the kid's like I've never seen that one oh it's [ __ ] sad I like it when the kids though

double down I love that you mean [ __ ] you [ __ ] yeah I love that you you got to go you don't tell me what to do and

then they never get out of the house they win and I love it then sometimes they send him to Scared Straight remember that TV show where they put him

in a prison they I did went to one you went to scared straight no mine was in the forest are you serious scared gay

what was that no no mine was um come here behind this tree no mine was you have to walk from

Mammoth to Yus and back you did not do that I did you did not do no way you

completed that task I did walk from it was 12 rebellious kids I did it my I did

it my junior sophomore year in high school you walked from man it not in a day like it took weeks and

weeks where did you stay at night in a tent you did this yes how the [ __ ] have

we never talked about this why is that something I want to talk about I want to talk about it I was always the last guy

I remember go catch up Lee dude that entire walk would take how long did it say 14 hours 14 [ __ ] hours you it

took weeks how what did you guys go they're in back or something would you do a mile a day no we would camp and he

was talk talk to us about rocks okay this sounds made up did you did you learn did you learn anything no but I

remember sound but I did but I won the talent show what was the talent I sang a song called Ed Ain sing it right now I

don't remember the song but I made up a song I go Ed do you know what I mean something

like that are you serious yeah and all the guys were like yeah no one knew who I didn't know who he was that one it w

it did no one else do anything yeah hey [ __ ] you dude no I mean that's [ __ ] you

very talented that's not it yes it is it no that's not good I performed it somebody must have done something mean I

went out there I did it dude did you give a pube shot no back then you couldn't do that why it was against the

rules but you walk from your and I remember jumping in a lake through on a cliff what lake I don't remember well

zoom in there's one right there I mean I'm and I I'm going to say this too I have photos to prove it at home next

week you're bringing them in I will have photos to prove it Lake Grant Lake would have been the one Grant L jumped in yeah

how was it I remember being cold but I remember doing it and I remember being proud of myself did nobody else do it

everyone did it we were all meth kids right wow so so the great meth hike from

y yeah by the way a real meth head would have done it in a day but it was like a Scared Straight kind of a program like

and I came back I remember going yeah I'm going to do more meth it didn't work yeah it's almost

like when the DARE officer tells the kids about drugs and he just gets them fired up to taste them yeah they bring in bongs I thought that was so funny

they were like blow the smoke in your face use these and you would absolutely want to use that they show how fun it is to take a bong rip you're like Dr you

smoke pot oh all the time all day every day Snoop style blue hey guys I'm a

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options at blue.com chew it and do it we have a special deal for our listeners because Bobby loves blue Chu so much has

been using it by the way used it a couple days ago and he told me that had a little bit too much talk yes he does

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bad friends to receive your first month free visit blue.com for more details and important safety information and we

thank blue for sponsoring the podcast I think that there is uh something about

your journey though that I I dig what well I went to another rehab in Oceanside I met this

girl right and this is why I relapsed I tell you how no I relapsed so I met this

girl at rehab and remember she lived in Vista right and we were like going we're

about to go to a a meeting and she goes let me try something on you and I go okay and she put her my body in between

her legs and she squeezed what came out of you nothing not toothpaste no nothing

dude yeah yeah you like red bean paste red bean paste oh W uh no nothing and no

that's not what it was then I go let me cuz I was on the wrestling team so I go let me try she goes okay and I locked it

in and I squeezed and she almost died you almost killed she couldn't breathe so then you did heroin again no and then

she would I remember her crying go why could you do it so hard she had done it to me and then I went on

[Music] relapse do you [Music]

know [ __ ] winner of all talent shows my friend yeah you are there had to be somebody else competing against you in

that talent show like did anybody do like a Michael Clark Duncan or a Terry shab that wasn't around in the 80s [ __ ]

face right Impressions Wen no Michael Clark Duncan oh right I did a movie with

him my very first movie what was it called it was called um um um

underground comedy movie [ __ ] yeah so underground so underground dude put Bobby Lee

underground comedy movie right there oh the Shamwell guy was in it no he was the main guy so put Bobby Lee in there

you'll see what I did I play the most racist [ __ ] part watch am I in there

no they cut you out of the poster yeah they probably cut me out anyway I was in that Dr Phil there's a lot of non Ians

that are going to be in this year's Netflix as a joke Festival I've been seeing online are you going to make an appearance byy chance um I think so I

think we locked in a show for May the 6 wow are you in one no I wasn't am either

no I'm not in one I did see Tom Brady is doing it which uh of course that makes a lot of makes perfect sense because when

I think of Comedy especially Sushi mama your name was Sushi mama oh my God

that's incredible we're buying that shirt yeah yeah look at that shirt dude it's in stock that's awesomei it's in

stock no [ __ ] [Laughter] $220 buy it please no [ __ ] go buy it I'm

I'm buy I'm buying one in fact I'll I'll if you want I'll buy one for you give Dr Dr Phil give him your credit card he's

gonna buy it right now yep we'll do it later we could do it later we could do it later we you know the first time I've

taken my wallet out I just figured 460 million he can that's not a big deal for him dude that is [ __ ] wild to that

doc Sushi mama is definitely a band you think it is sushi Mama yeah yeah we

should start a band called surf Rock yes yeah D was that like a hidden gem character you know what I'm saying like

like a fan favorite no they what they did was I remember I was character I was in I was at the L uh La Hoya comedy

storees in the open mic shout out and [ __ ] sham W guy comes up to me Vince

yep and what'd he say he goes you I'm the Sham W guy Jesus and it was like the first celebr I ever met y so I froze

yeah I missed that spiky hair that's when I first got wind of you really in the day oh yeah that's you got those

head shot with the spiky air in the Hawaiian shirt yeah yeah dog I bought that same shirt just cuz I loved that head shot so much okay good I'm a big

fan of a big fan of yours too well my head shots are boring though I just I'm just you I'm just KK foxing up ph's head

shots I want to see if some of your good head shots are they're all normal you know you're look I'll go through the faces

ready yeah this is me being like okay what's that face who touched

you oh that's it yeah what's his face what's this one I touch I touched you I I touched

that's you can make my mustache fall off Bobby all right let's all let's take turns so then Jess you do the next one a

fun game this a fun game what the next one I just farted yes it is very good yep let's see no for real I did just

fart yeah now now my question is where do you think I farted it oh oh like what

room oh Oh I thought you meant guess the fart I know this one I know this one I farted too much no [ __ ] I farted too

much there's a little p go to that's a face of a guy who's about to [ __ ] his pants on the 405 yeah yeah yeah no and

this one oh what's this one oh that one's I'm about to fart I'm about to fart about to fart they're all pre- and post

fart and that one is you know what I did oh you know what I did that's what my dog looks

like you know what that is that's when that's when I'm I'm driving to the Laker game yeah and you're in shotgun and I

get out first after I've let one rip and I get out and I look at the valet guy and I go

keep that photo keep can you do that what that face well now seeing it from your

Vantage Point this is terrifying let me see I again somehow you always go crosseyed it

is a little what I am a little [ __ ] ey if it's your eyes but you go cross-eyed when you do faces like that that's so

[ __ ] racist it's not it's do it big you go crossy yeah you do yeah the right one's in I have that head shot

too whoa dude I don't think you guys were made to IM itate like the machine M let me see if I

can't can't let me see if I can keep them straight I'll do the noise I'll do the noise of your you're doing it again

it's better though that's better creepy though oh hurts so bad though but they're moving so much yeah I'm controlling it Asian eyes are not

supposed to do facial expr yeah yeah right because like look at this like like your mom like this if I say to your

mom somebody died her facial expression would be what okay

okay I don't know what camera play I don't know what going on she would have no expression oh she would she go okay

okay ready somebody died uh I just got a big

promotion that's what you're saying Mom I'm gay uh that's great do you think when

the two bombs dropped there was facial expens probably no they were

just oh my God atomic bomb yep yeah can you imagine

that's right in Godzilla minus one I saw them running they're like wait a minute Godzilla what do you think's scarier

Godzilla or a bomb Godzilla with a bomb Godzilla is a bomb because in about watching Godzilla

bomb at the haha wow he's his new [ __ ] is pretty good it's but yeah can you

imagine we got earthquake what if a comedian came out and was like my name's Godzilla could you do that well more

elements would be if we had another comedian that was like tornado well we had China man oh yeah who's that Mark

Brittain his name was was [ __ ] yeah so years ago I was in Texas does this

story get better yeah it does it does so I was in so Mark Britton what was his name chinan oh I remember

this guy yeah yeah yeah his name was chinan yeah that's him he's half asian his name was Mark Britain can we get

this guy on the show can I say something let me say something about Mark please okay he taught Pablo Francisco how to do

Impressions no way yes this guy is the best Impressions you'll ever seen the movie trailer voice is probably from him

right number two right he's a he would sell out every [ __ ] show in Texas sure I don't doubt it and number three

he came up to me once and he goes um yeah man I don't know I can't make you know get anything going in Hollywood and

I go maybe because your name is [ __ ] what is the name of his album

cuz you know he now he changed his name to guess what his name is kidwalk kidwalk wait look at his website no

you're kidding I www.of funny.com is where you find his work that's a very funny website miso

miso funny very good kid walk yeah kid walk funny but China man was and he

would sell it so you know but he wasn't even full Asian that was what's crazy well but half he used to get the hottest

chicks too back in the 90s do you think it was the goatee or one of them at least but he's so funny this guy I once

uh I once two girls in San Jose that had been with poly Shore they had nothing

but great things to say yeah and I got to be honest I was a little jealous of the girls or ply maybe a little bit of

both yeah cuz I've never hooked up with a celebrity you are a celebrity have you ever jerked off today have you jerked

off I mean I don't like to say it's a problem but it's not an issue do you

need to tell us something all right I jerk off a lot I

don't know what's it what do you jerk off too music oh oh can we guess wow can

we guess the band sure I got no shank it's classical no sometimes but not usually Mega Death yep that's what you

jerk off to okay don't act so surprised no we're not it's fine it's cool yeah it's I don't know it's it's the contrast

some people like a little bit of lotion I'm more of a soap guy I thought you were Bruce Hornsby that's just the way it is yes

where's that guy love that song though love it just the way it what was the lyrics in the beginning staying in town

time right in for the mar yeah some sad [ __ ] like working class work [ __ ] and then just the way it is I think it was

like yeah wait like 9 to5 abortion time or something like 9 to5 abortion time

but he played the piano with such uh your dad just died just died it got dark real quick yeah it got real quick that's

just and then that's just the way the way it is and then you you're listening going guess it is the way it is it is the way it is I guess I have to suck it

up yeah and then the sweet piano would make you forget about your shitty life is the way it

is I guess I can get a job right you can't you know another song that Fast

Car by [ __ ] what's her name Tupac then used that song by the way and made it amazing What fast car no that's the way it is oh it is yeah fast car is

another depressing song from Tracy you got a fast car oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] that was

oh [ __ ] bro bro you just hit my [ __ ] heart this night you you know what

jacking off to tonight yeah wow yo you're two for two and I might be going on tour or so what's that song about

fascar about it's it's about her dad dad something right it's uh her dad has

diabetes or something yeah he's uh legless legless yeah where's she going

to in that fast car she wants to go somewhere with her man a combination KFC Taco Bell whoa yeah you got a fast car

we got to go to KFC and you want Taco Bell yeah I want my BH potatoes and

a see [Music]

go there it is okay I once stayed at the Taco Bell hotel that's not something I tell everybody but how was the Taco Bell

Hotel diarrhea City really everyone was [ __ ] themselves yeah I had so my stand I had a standup joke about Taco

Bell KFC okay you just did the punch line though what was it it's hard to decide when you go to those things like

how bad do I want my diarrhea oh funny you can have it NOP I already did it

well you know I've been doing that was in the '90s well I shot a special on

Vimeo you know did you really yeah yeah yeah but it's you know I'll send you the link but it ain't it's not worth

watching twice anyway yeah KFC and Taco Bell what a combination what other combinations do

you wish were out there oh really that's nice what do you wish what what how about just like two okay so about this

yeah Tommy burger okay Jamba Juice yikes that's really good why why would I say

that because I Tom always [ __ ] up your stomach yeah with the chili yeah you know what I mean but then you're like oh

I'll have some weak grass level you up level me like a little ginger shot yeah yeah like ginger shot

empty everything for yeah yeah what is another good

combination what's a good combination In-N-Out and orange julius pretty good

well the In-N-Out Burgers you know going to treat you right Dairy Queen style but also you know hot eats cool treats are

coming up inside you drop down a nice little Julius on top okay good very good

circle gets Square I get I get it Circle get but I think that yeah it's a sweet it's a sweet on sweet that I like J I'd

probably do like a Jack In The Box with a CVS ooh very smart just cuz I get like

so much from Jack In The Box I can't I can't help myself cuz I'll get the tacos the jalapeno poppers the souro Jack

anegg roll sometimes an egg R too maybe a chicken teriyaki bull if you're getting frisky I've never got they have

that at Jack they have everything at they and they have everything at CVS to cure everything that you get and more

beverages too you can get a gatorade zero to C yeah and you guys ever like on your period and then you have to get fast

food and then you have to like go to the I know what that's like I know what that's like get I would want to

combine um Firehouse Subs oh good [ __ ] call

you know Firehouse Subs like them yeah Firehouse Subs and

A Auto Zone why why I've been I have to change my [ __ ] oil and I just can't

get there but if you put it near in aomin I'm going to ech but how often caning to

Auto to my o that's nuts I need oil in my car haven't been there it's been

beeping at me for a month and a half put them together I'll [ __ ] do let me get a [ __ ] turkey avocado I'll get some

oil then that's a really good idea cuz AutoZone doesn't have snacks no there's no snacks there but they have a lot of

things that you need for your vehicle but not for your vehicle thank you we'll

be right back you yeah oh okay I was I pointed at you to do it we're going to

keep it right here cuz I do have something to say about that bless you is that chickenpox or monkey pox well I

don't know you're the doctor I have a statement [Laughter]

prepared Jess your sarcasm's been an issue lately sarcasm mhm sharkasm

sharkasm oh sharkasm it's when you're like I didn't Sho my pants but you did yeah you did you know what you did and

who you are Bobby what's in that pen oh no he's gonna have an intervention on

you right now no judgment yeah just curious what's in the pen it's um it's

called a jewel and it's uh it's like a tobacco flavored uh V Vape all good all good what flavor is it

I just tobacco like a strawberry or a cheesecake said Tobacco Man okay and

when you suck on it okay where are you going where we going dude you need it huh I don't need it okay yeah okay

cuz I don't need this interesting approach Dr pH

interesting well every patient's different yeah yeah oh you're still okay he's trying to get you off the the pen

go ahead no no and if if anything I'd like to encourage more of it you want him to use the vape pen more I think

he's not vaping enough that's not going to work either listen Dr philm I don't

drink I don't do drugs um I I quit smoking cigarettes sometime I Vape some

congrats on the um this is my last harah here right so I think I'm doing pretty

good man that and food you know what's so funny when that's not a shot when my what my mom

said to me yesterday I've been didn't I share about it at I shared about it at my a meeting okay I'm not taking a shot

at you and my mom well my mom said you were there yeah she goes you'd be handsome if you lost weight she said you

used to look like Elvis I thought she she said your face doesn't match your stomach that's what she said that hurt

that's [ __ ] that's deep that's deep d you have a beautiful face she did she said what about my body I think your

body's fine she poked your stomach about five times yeah what do you think about my body me as your

employee that was a great [ __ ] answer be right back very yeah very you never know our Dynamic yeah I mean do you

think I should lose some weight um I think you should I think you're perfect just the way you are like looks wise but

you should walk way it is

you'll never like how you were after you Gorge a big meal I want you to sit at the piano all sloly and just

go that's just a word things will never be the fall

asleep I don't think you need to lose anyway thank you all I think you need to do is continue being happy and that your

health will follow suit I actually caros Carlos he looks as healthy and happy as I've ever seen him he hugged me today

when I came in the studio I was here early yelling at somebody uh and Carlos walked in had a big smile didn't you and

you and you you just you looked very good you feel good he came to the meeting today well I was going to let

him share it but do you want to share this on the show or no yeah I went to an AA meeting for the first time in like

six years today whoa hey that's a big deal don't let anyone tell you it's not no one didn't no one said it wasn't well

they might no they won't there there's haters out there Phil Phil what the [ __ ] are you doing what you onv is different

than today yeah I thought you about to throw a plastic let me tell you something about you Phil dude get even

since I've been in here before the even the cameras went on man you've been negative and [ __ ] weird swearing up a

[ __ ] storm you're acting like the opposite of what you're [ __ ] represent on television I'm [ __ ]

tired of this [ __ ] love this who the [ __ ] are you dude it's good to see some emotion coming from

you Doctor are you high right now dude look at your eyes dude Dr Phil Dr Phil Stone you're stoned

right now when did you eat a edible

you know that didn't pause it no didn't do anything yeah it's been a rough couple weeks uhhuh what's been going on

Phil my goldfish died okay oh man we'll get you a new one bud yeah okay step to

replace uh the first fish you buy

oh oh when did you buy it good they live like three days three days ago

okay well Dr Phil I would like you to get to the root of what's going on with Carlos I'm sorry to step you out of your

goldfish quandry but we'll get you a new one it doesn't mean anything and and and Carlos we are proud of you I want to say

how happy I am in you have looked like you're feeling like a new man your

Clarity the other day was remarkable thank you Andrew you were intimidating Bobby a little bit oh yeah I did I yeah

we had some good riffs on the show it was pretty I was surprised I feel good at how good you feel it was interesting

like coming in sober to that episode I felt more like I felt sharper you want

to show us something shiny yeah I got this 24-hour chip that's amazing and I showed it to Andrew and I almost started

crying and I gave him a big hug but are you serious though he is the hell shut the [ __ ] up shut the [ __ ] up wait what

the [ __ ] are you talking about he is he gave me a big hug and almost started crying I know because I don't know are you or not I don't I just I I want you

to want it but if you don't want it I'm fine too I mean I wouldn't have gone to the meeting if I

didn't if I didn't want to like explore that like I tried to stay sober last night and it didn't work and I was like

and tonight no tonight I'm going to really I'm going to call let him do I

believe him I believe he's got the co the the token to prove it it's not real

24 hours then put talking to the mic sweetheart it's not been 24 hours then no no well we need to cut pieces of like

[ __ ] out out of people's lives the Nega [ __ ] n you mean fancy yeah negative fancy that's your name negative fancy

dude I'm just saying he no no no [ __ ] you you told me yesterday you didn't drink no no no but then I I did drink

yeah this is what happen so in addiction fans it goes up and down oh my you arrogant piece of [ __ ] I was [ __ ] dude

that's span this is a Spanish Mexican thing that's what that's he's trying to show can I can I say can I take a stab

at at trying to see what how we got here yeah go ahead Carlos uh you've been

sober a day now yeah like uh 10 hours yeah like 10 hours so like five backtack

episodes of say by the bill of the College Years exactly that's not a long time but you spent your time prior to

that enjoying the uh the benefits of alcohol consumption no yes what were

some of the most fun things you did and do you miss it right now Phil is this going to keep him

sober I just I don't know your approach you're a doctor I we go what are the negative yeah well that sounds like a

good place to start what what what got you what did you hate about

yourself honestly that I would wake up not remember how I got home that by the

way is something we've all we've all been there oh my God the nightmare of Imagine I've never been imagine us

getting the call call me

okay oh hey what's up yeah hey Carlos what no it's me Bobby oh hey hey Bobby

yeah why you calling from Carlos's phone uh hold on hold what are the numbers what are the numbers of the show

I we're doing really well this week good good good good we hit all the checkpoints yeah speaking of hit you got

anything to tell me oh yeah yeah yeah oh why do I have Carlos's phone that's right um why

he's he's uh well he's in the back of a police car what's new yeah well what's

new is um yeah what's the new part about the new part about this is that um a family

died hi I'm Officer James uh I'm here to tell you about the family now are you calling me or are you

here with me right now oh I'm here oh Officer James I'm so sorry it's good to see

youan of the show oh you got showed up oh you came we're here together Jessie

what are you doing here what the [ __ ] have you been with these guys all day no I thought we were recording yeah we're supposed to shoot anyway Officer James

wrap this up we have to have to film bad friends now yeah well I know that and I realize that this happened close to home

and I and I hate that for you but your friend Carlos uh hit a family and they were on their way to can I stop you for a second

chuckecheese yeah you look exactly like Dr Phil yeah I was thinking that I thought too that are you it was crazy Dr

Phil let me live a normal life huh oh you're like oh I know you're like Steven Sagal yeah I'm like under he's a cop and

stuff you ever see Undercover Brother with Eddie Griffin I'm the white version of that wow so you cosplay

as a comp you're like Shaq you're like a should we go to the murderer first office so the family it's so there was I

think they were it was all adults yeah but but the good news Andrew is going Andrew yeah the good news

raccoons racco it was a family of raccoons well who ate the bodies of the

family that was real that's true that is true we opened them up yeah and there was a Hispanic family inside the body

how many people was this well I mean you know 30 felt like five but they just kept coming out yeah yeah yeah just like

they do in like a regular car yep yeah well what do you mean no sorry uh officer I just didn't

get that bit a lot of them no what do you mean they fit a lot they they like

clowns what's the Mexican one that's it sorry that was awes let's

get back to the truth oh Carlos is here what's up let's get back to the truth thank God you didn't do anything [ __ ] tragic we know of yeah that's true cuz

that's not okay and hey what's your hand right now if you drink and drive again I will [ __ ] you up I will [ __ ] you up Dad

I don't like it it's not funny I don't like it not funny to surrender to you today what is this bring it over uh MDMA

mushrooms and cocaine give it to me now well and then leave it here first and then I'll bring it over to Andrew so

you're surrendering some stuff that you have for me good for you what is it now do you want to measure this to make sure

that none of okay so what's the white powder I'm proud of you hey my man what's the white powder what's the white powder big [ __ ] de this is Coke yeah

I don't know let's officer doctor I'm not you your mind Coke yeah cocaine last

time I did Coke was at third eye concert Molly Molly from a different dealer

Molly from a different dealer I think I rented that in high school Molly uh mushrooms mushrooms mushrooms more

mushrooms and the uh Coke no fentanyl so it's good to go doctor you've tested it

yeah that's the last of it I've done it and then I had it as a backup in case I needed an oomph in the morning and then

Dr Phil I I made him pee on a cup and I want to make sure you you know you test it uh yeah we'll have our my producer

Tina will test it Oh I thought you were we call her P Tina oh there you go so you peed in the cup before the show Dr

Phil do you want to make sure that this is that it's clean yeah cute so he's not lying is this real American urine yeah

like well Mexican yeah okay yeah now what's Mexican American what's the difference

am I you taste it you spicier just to make sure got a little bite to it yeah I just want to make sure that it's uh

drug free drug free that's real piss yeah give it one small sip doctor that's

how you test it yeah I smell the pee I don't just eat [ __ ] I smell it to

make sure it's Dr Phil relax she's not a doctor well I never tested piss before

she doesn't know well you haven't truly lived then all right here we go oh my God

[Laughter] oh my God oh my

God is it clean oh my God his pupils are

dilating I really wish I hadn't done that why cuz now I'm hooked now you're

hooked it's delicious found it dude found it Dr Phil that's great wow wow

it's the last of my margarita in my system you okay there's tequila in there it's not clean right return the

chip I mean it definitely is p but this guy return the chip such an [ __ ]

return the chip you sound like a a James Bond villain return the chip there it is

you must return the chip Dr Bond Dr Bond Dr Bond I have an idea well

because um fancy has been so negative lately and Carlos is just getting out of drugs I think I saw this in a movie if

they switch places so Carlos could raise uh Fancy's baby beautiful wife and learn

responsibility and fancy could start doing Caine and kind of show to be up on

time every Monday do you see what I'm saying like he could lose a little bit there was a negative now let let's see

even if you switch places physically let's see if it dynamically changes how you guys are this is like that baitman

Reynolds movie The change up it's exactly like that that's what I'm thinking of all right let's see if maybe

this helps even a little bit oh I like this yeah oh wow you're yeah you like the position oh you looks so good there

thank you hey fans how are you feeling I feel like

drinking okay wow imagine going on a cruise boat in here and that in the room across the

hall I I feel like drinking and you go we must be in the the weird part of the

ship by the way you pass by you pass by that room you pass by the room thinking right on man but you see he's just

looking in the mirror by himself I feel like drinking no one even

in there with him you poke your head and you go my man you need a sandwich or

something Dr P I feel like those edes are kicking in right now aren't they I'm feeling pretty good can't taste the PE

residue uh Carlos congrats again man thanks do I want to give you a big shout out and a good and a quick little Pat me

on the back for yourself appreciate it I like to do it for myself and then I just do that to you see now Dr Bill this you

wouldn't mean like brush it away this means like uh this is kind of dismissive like language isn't this like [ __ ] off

uh no this is [ __ ] off that's [ __ ] off you know Adam Ray right sure yeah can I

can you can I say something I want to say a fan Oh either well it's but I but

tell I've seen him on YouTube but I did a video with Andrew and Adam Ray about Olympic video that's done very well on

the internet my favorites yeah one of my favorites but I want to say something just related this to Adam if you may

okay I'm um super proud of him because I can see him coming up in the comedy

World in terms of like the numbers and people talking about him okay he's working super hard he is yeah and I uh

honestly I I tell him that I'm really proud of the guy that's so nice well that means a lot there it is yeah well

you know it's a grind and as you guys know you know we just try to put one foot in front of the other that day when we did that what was my attitude like

miserable was I really yeah you were being a little [ __ ] wow 11 years ago 11 years ago look at that and you and

you left early you left the shoot before I mean look at the look at the the oh God someone's dealing Coke in a video

game you left the shoot before we were done we had access to the gym for a certain amount of time and ho Tutti was

a great name for unbelievable yeah ho Tutti how skinny I was well you look

good you look good haven't changed a bit your mom would like this this was 11 years ago his mom looked like this no

she would like him here you see you didn't get less negative for some reason

it's like you positive he looks great no you said your mom would like this it's like a backhanded compliment no she you

look great you're a [ __ ] [ __ ] you look great [ __ ] youe 11 years ago you're saying a decade ago yeah Bob you know

what I love about hoot's outfit it looks like a real coach's outfit it does did you have that jacket or did you buy it

no that was in his trunk yeah it was my trunk it was in the trunk of his car I remember you getting it out it was very funny you know who you know who

complimented me on this about this video who Alison Jones oh really yeah she goes I saw that video with Andrew and Adam

she goes so funny you know what was really funny about this moment that we were starting to shoot this you didn't want to do it and then you asked if you

could smoke in the gym y oh that's right and I thought of all the places you probably can't see it's in a [ __ ]

it's a kids gymnasium gy yeah but you know what but what a fun video You Killed you're violent uh that what a

funny thing too it's like violence is only funny if it's done by the right people yeah right that's true Schwarzenegger what oh W the way you

said that said I don't like the way you said that well Arnold yeah but the last name well now you're making me

self-conscious no say it the last name do you know him Arnold yeah you know we've in passing you know we've been at

premieres together so I mean the Schwarz was fine yeah Schwarz sounded normal let's just leave it at that then Arnold

Schwarz yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we met at the premiere of um God what was it that's your old accountant Arnold

Schwarz yeah yeah Arnold Schwarz yeah don't tell Mom the babysitters dead what a film wow with Christina Applegate and

a very uh early uh still Getty Love Christina Applegate dude I had such a

crush on her big Crush Elizabeth Sho in that no no no that's that's uh that's baby that's a bab babysitter movie uh

don't tell adventures and babysitting Yeah Boy a lot of babysit mov she's um

doing pretty good huh Elizabeth Shu yeah what is she doing I I'm not privy to what you're saying she's in the uh the

boys oh the boys the boys who you see the boys great show very funny I don't

see a lot I watch a lot of Dr pimple popper a lot oh okay okay of um other doctors chop Jr boy they're mean to

those kids they're like hey Caleb do you know Dr schles oh The Medicine Woman oh no the uh the

product yeah I also know Dr Pepper guy is Dr Su guy or not know Dr Pepper

sure you know Dr Pepper I know Justin guini if that's what you're getting at guy I can call him right now don't

please no please don't no yeah I'll read the room

do you know mythological doctors Dr Doom Dr Doom yeah well Dr Claw is probably the most famous of the

fake docs maybe McDreamy who do you think who do you think gets more [ __ ] Dr Claw from Inspector Gadget or Patrick

Dempsey I'm gonna go with Dempsey a wild guest but I think Dempsey does for sure yeah I mean agree to disagree but yeah

yeah Dempsey he really popped off Jess who was your like hunk probably Doc O Dr

Octavius oh yeah oh good a man with eight arms are you kidding me oh oh okay there we go hey you're three for three

don't his don't his fingers have tongues on them they they probably could isn't that how they thought about it but yeah

can you imagine that they don't but they they could they could can you imagine getting fingered and there's a tongue on

the finger these are the things I think about yeah imagine Dr o what's his name

Octavius Octavius him being a goalkeeper for a soccer team amazing undefeated undefeated I mean imagine you're doing a

penalty kick and he's just unsto and then just tongues everywhere yeah Tong

does he oh my God Ronaldo would be scared well everybody would be no Ronaldo could get him you think so yeah

he's the best FIFA Ronaldo could [ __ ] yeah man you know much about soccer love

FIFA scored on my own team in the fourth grade true story what do you mean my friend's dad called me a [ __ ] idiot

yeah wait on go what's that it's called an on goal yeah yeah yeah the goalie was trying to dive out of the way the ball

was going towards the sideline yeah and I kicked it and this is me telling the story not Adam Ray yeah yeah cuz i' I've

heard him tell a similar story and he's fabricating me this happened to me balls going towards the sideline tried to kick

it out of bounds it slashed around the goalie he dove in slow motion yeah and I went oh [ __ ] my friends dad on the ride

home goes you [ __ ] idiot really fifth grade yes wow so mean yeah it was terrifying as a child you learn that you

know even adults are doing their best but in that moment I you know I wanted to grab the wheel and crash us into a

Wendy's Jesus Jesus Christ Dr Phil but I didn't

I thank God yeah self discipline you're still here buddy well I'm clicking and Ticking I'm I'm feeling

good it wasn't it just your birthday in September coming up last

September no I guess we're further away we're further we're in the mid yeah next six months it'll probably

happen again it's like a golden shower birthday or something what do you mean when it's your midpoint birthday yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah is that you think it's called I don't know I just drank some piss and I'm still thinking about it okay I might have you know what

even though it's going to be my 53rd birthday congrats thank you I'm G I might have a

party really because back in the day I don't know if you guys do you ever go Carlos I used to have these big parties

you know where I used to have them uh Spaghetti Factory yep do you did

you ever go did Adam ever go I believe he sent me some pictures yeah yeah and it looked like a blast I used to rent

out half a [ __ ] Spaghetti Factory dad owned it we knew the kids's dad I it was a comic whose dad owned the Spaghetti

Factory on Hollywood Boulevard right yeah it was on sunset sunset I yeah yeah yeah there was a kid that his dad owned

that spaghetti fact a comic I don't remember when we were coming up when when Adam and I were young yeah we

remember he tells me a lot of your uh your your up and cominging stories the Robbie peard bar shows oh yeah Robbie

piard yeah down in uh Orange County Orange County there's a lot of [ __ ] gigs you guys do and I really want to say you

know my world it's like you're yeah you you kind of get thrust into the Limelight pretty quick but you guys got to just take it or leave it it doesn't

seem like it was quick for you you didn't you become famous in your like 50s yeah but I felt like I was famous in

my 20s but you weren't what did we learn today well uh we learned that Scooby-Doo

has a a multiple uh is a is a different way of looking at L yeah yeah y yep we

learned that so that was good we learned that uh you know I've got all sorts of uh different looks for the camera we

learned this we learned your dance from edmed right what do we else do we learn well what we did learn is that Carlos is

On A New Path to happiness Redemption why don't we do this why don't we say goodbye to Dr Phil and we can wrap up uh

without Dr Phil so we can talk bad about him behind his back okay a little bit happy New Year by the way happy New Year

Phil this was a resolution of mine was to come on this show we really appreciate you Dr Phil thank you for being on the show be good to yourself

that's great all right well thanks for Dr Phil coming through um that was a little

awkward Lockwood that was a little shout out shout out Matt lock Matt Lockwood that

was a little awkward he he that Dr Phil he's different he's a little bit Yeah

well he's what's the word I'm looking for he's a little skinnier he's skinnier than I thought that is for sure yeah but

also you can tell when it hit yeah you can tell can't you no be real yeah you can tell when the Edibles kick in it hit

and then his eyes you could tell like ripped ripped and then he didn't know what really what he was talking about he drank piss

I mean this guy is that's insane that's it's so gross but did he help solve anything in the studio I don't think he

made it worse he tried to get Carlos to keep using fancy definitely is not in support of Carlos's sobriety which is

honestly I'm annoyed but it's like well how do I really dictate that how mad I am let's talk about the year in general

can we talk about the year in general we had some great moments on this year but we've had some dark times we have to go

through those to get to the light yeah one day sober [ __ ] Yoda now what the

[ __ ] Andre says I'm not even one day hey man yeah it works if you work it yeah

but you know it's you know to as a family we went through a lot of tough times with some good times but you know

at the end of the day we're still standing and we will move forward we're sitting right

now okay we'll be sitting and we'll sit forward we'll sit forward I am leaning

forward I know you are and we will will continue I I imagine us doing this for many good years one more we're done no

no I be real no I I I I I think I I I think till 2025 for sure though I'd say

2030 wow that's a lot that's to well you won't be you won't be here you won't be

here yeah you'll be directing [ __ ] commercials or something then oh my God you know but you know what kind it'll be like uh it'll be like industrial

commercial yes 100% or you know he'll be washer dryer it'll be like combo wash or dryer yeah do you want to wash and also

dry at the same time yeah you know he'll be directing [ __ ] like that for sure I I I think I could predict what we're

going to be in the next couple years I think Carlos in five years is no longer to be in La what just hear me out okay

he's going to be one of those guys that's going to live amongst other people like him in an island do beads W

you know what I mean uh a lot of smells I like that like lighting like you know what I mean powder and stuff okay

where's Mone going to be Mone is going to go back to Minnesota yeah yeah he'll have to I mean that's my prediction

you're going to be back in Minnesota but you're the big wig you know what I mean you're going to be in part of some sort of like a you know a design you're can

to do something with design that's the name of your design firm is bigwig bigwig designs big wig designs it's

going to be in Minneapolis you'll have an office what about fancy fancy I like industrial commercials thank you oh we

mean that yes okay good he's not working for us any any more than in 5 years okay what about jety jet is going to be um

and this is this is where this it turns bad oh no this's going to hurt this one's going to hurt it had to be it's

going to hurt us not you what you're going to be um a huge comedian you'll have your own talk show

oh like big like super fat like yeah yeah she no she will gain weight yeah a lot yeah yeah yeah I'm a woman and her

new name is going to be roly poly rly poly yeah and the introduction of the song rly po

and she's going to roll down this hill right like you know like you know like a um pill buug yes and you you'll come out

like that right yeah and you go you ready to have some fun right everyone in the audience arena is wearing roly poly

shirt rly poly bug glasses and then um you will delete us from your phone

you'll delete us from your phone you will delete us from you will go oh like when you we come up let's say say

something to me about us about I'm I'm Jesse in the future oh Jess it's been so

long how's it been roly poly no we know you're roly poly and do you love it though it's so cool it's through the

scales up in the [ __ ] Heavens so you lost your ability to talk what do you

mean you got so famous you couldn't formulat phrases hey guys you know when I go down that Hill dude that's for real

and I do it every show so how come you haven't like got in contact with us again we've been calling

you to come back on the bad friend show and you excuse me we just would this is you're not an interviewer from

news it's me it's Andrew oh hey hey Roy this it's

Bobby oh you're the sound guy right yeah yeah but yeah I've been doing it part

time but I was wondering if what's the what's the tag you know what you're going to be doing in 5 years

sound the sound guy now yeah I was wondering if you wanted to get

dinner like old times we get a get a

here rly poly is fine rly poly is it's a therapy thing no like she just goes into

herself oh that's so sad it's so sad all right what happens to me in 5 years you're not my

driver do people have drivers I I just got an Uber x no I'm not you're uber x

no I'm I'm lift oh you're lift yeah okay well we got to get to the airport I have

to drive you yes where are you headed well my private

plane you think you're wait a sound guy has a private

plane no you're the sound guy I'm Jesse still you're you oh right now right now oh I'm

sorry sorry sorry sorry I got to say this yeah you are

going to be working sound on her on roly poly live shows yeah and I'm going to be the driver I'm going to be the local

driver everybody this where we are in 5 years the team is dismantled Carlos Has

Fallen in love he's moved to Texas he's opened up a business of bead making you're correct mcon by the way couldn't

get to Minneapolis he got to duth instead couldn't get all the way back to Minneapolis right right right and and

the only thing you got wrong cuz all this is right because you know I've seen the future yeah is the fancy part what

is it did not get to Direct One commercial I know not one I know close

though pretty close pretty close they were considering he met with the Ad Agency and they liked him he was in the

they didn't understand it he was in the mix they didn't understand that they didn't understand yeah yeah what's your

vision my vision is to okay we can't it do someone with more clear concise um yeah so that's it in five but

the next year we'll be still here next year will be a great big year for bad friends we are finally going to announce

our down under tour dates we have 10 cities we're playing we really appreciate it I mean this we got the

numbers in the tickets that we sold this year the cities that we played it was Monumental it was like one of the best

years how sell this year around 100,000 100,000 people came to go see us

yeah it's insane thank you so much thank you for being a bad [Music]

friend wo