Back To The Old School CLEAN| Ep 229 | Bad Friends

he hey everybody you guys you know I was very highly influenced by never mind Nirvana's album the very first no second

album um uh bleach was the first one right but anyway um I was very highly influenced by this and they I love the

album cover and now you can get one with my little baby body in it and you don't have to have the shirt if you don't want it you can get it as a poster that's

just as cool too go to badri merch.com badri merch.com I'm on tour in the fall

gearing up to shoot my hour I'm going to be in Frank California Indianapolis Charlotte uh Walky Omaha Kansas City

Cleveland St Louis Grand Rapids Detroit New Orleans San Antonio Chicago Durham Atlanta Charleston Philly New York

Phoenix San Francisco San Diego Boston and Minneapolis uh go to Andrew Santino dcom for those tickets Andrew Santino

dcom you two are bad friends who are these two idiots a white dude and an

Asian dude you two are disgusting you two or something we're

bad friends Yip yapping away Yip yapping away in all day Yip yapping away yay yes

I am wait or no I'm not no you are no Mone yes you are you are all right let's

start the show and then um I just and then did you know that Delaney has a prison tattoo on her finger what Delaney

you went to prison she has a prison tattoo on her finger let me see um what does it say no it's just it's a stick

and poke a stick and poke yeah that's that's what Bobby calls his sex life stick and poke ow ow owow it's not

sticking Asian have a shop of penis let's not go into negative let's

go into positive did something happen though I can't yeah no nothing well I have to go to Winnipeg I'm bummed about

that morning for Tom's thing one show at Tom yeah Winnipeg do you know where that

is on a map it's probably I'm not making fun of you because I don't know I assume Winnipeg is um more East Canada I think

it's middle maybe middle I have no idea yeah I genuinely Don't Ed Ed Edmonton's

more left it's it's Alberta's where let's zoom out Carlos that's pretty

Central kind of oh that is dead center dead center wow it's right above Minnesota one oh my God I'm Jing I got I

got to fly all that way how long is it you think four and a half four oh okay

because you got to go nor you got to go up and over you know yeah but it's also like the um 330 not the I hate the order

Crossing thing yeah you got to give paperwork and one time I was doing a movie and it was years ago and I had to

wait there for hours in like a little lab room in the Canadian border in security sec I can't even speak to it

I'm so tired security room not a lab room why am I saying all let me tell you something by the way congratulations

I've been watching the worst roommate show like I said wow are you being real

yeah the second season I'm I'm I'm Cru cruising through it I love it so much but the amount of

murder too much the woman that filmed her own that recorded her own

death wow wow wow she turned on a recorder and she's like what are you going to beat this out of me and he

did she asked him and he did and then you they have it on tape yeah it's that's crazy yeah I didn't see the first

season oh really I only saw the second season oh my God it's so good I was going to go back to the first season I do that with movies too do you have

roommate Delany yeah I do don't how many um five Jesus Jesus Christ you have your

own room wait a minute do you live at home are you talking about your parents no wait you have your own room I have

yeah cuz we have a house starting junior year you move off campus ooh

fancy I moved off campus wait a minute how old are you 21 you're a senior now

yeah I get my own electrical slot so I can plug in my iPhone oo oo

you know and my roommate Samuel she gets the second one underneath it with her iPod

oo Delaney five people yeah how much is rent with five sneak in there you these

guys don't need attention yeah um it's like 2,000 for you mhm you pay $2,000 to live

for four other people where where are you living Palisades are you living in Beverly Hills no New

Orleans wait a minute you don't live in LA only like my parents are here you're nor from Orange County no I'm from the

palates um what are you getting so angry for man I don't know I don't know time out $2,000 per person so it's a $10,000

a month house you're renting he's like you can get a nice place for that in New Orleans is that right though so it's 10

grand a month in New Orleans so all of you are paying $2,000 yeah probably you don't even know

what everybody pays well because I'm not asking like my other roommates you don't ask each other that's not a point of some of them I don't know that well oh

so you live in a home with people you might not know yeah you're perfect for this TV show yeah you're too I don't think so she's too fancy for me I'll

tell you she's going to end up in the news 100% remember remember that girl Delaney we used to work with called years ago dude yeah the weird they found

her foot in Florida they found her ankle in in Tucson Tucson Arizona Tu yeah they

and they still haven't found her butthole no yeah yeah what do they do with that yeah I think they shot it into his space cool killer though no just

hear me out I know I'm just saying right a killer with a necklace with all these little Rings don't you think little

butthole Rings yeah yeah yeah but they're dry you know what I mean what is that this is that puka shells no man you

know uh you uh uh Froot Lubes oh that's cute yeah you take Froot lubs you put

them in the water then you let it dry in the sun right and then it just has this like a rubbery like

anal you you're feeling it's like a rubber anal kind of smells your necklace you like calamari I love it this is

calamari oh nice yeah yeah what is this an ear necklace yeah from from Vietnam Vietnam craziest War craziest war in the

world dude I mean look at there's so many of them you know I mean appar was a trend those are the biggest ears I've

ever seen either it's like me I have hug yeah I have little ears hoi man what a guy what a trail he makes Trails so deep

and you know those TR but did you know that hochi man it's a little fun fact give me before he was H that's not a fun

fact it's just a fact pretty fun to me um before he was um you know the guy

right he went all like he was like a a baker in France for a year I'm not

kidding no way then he went to New York and then was like he worked on films like went to a film company worked on

fil was like an artist no he was just a world traveler you know you know uh a

worldly man a cultural worldly man and they found saw what was going on in this country and he came back he was like

that's it that's it that's it I love making croissant you I mean I

love this film we're doing about you know this film butterf life film my the photographer what would have been if he

actually became a director instead of going back home oh my God like imagine if he made really good film I'm trying

to go see long legs tonight oh it's going to be it's you like that everyone says it's phenomenal do you see it and

scary right I have my a different opinion creepy I have a different opinion all right you don't like it it is creepy what it is creepy it's very

creepy creepy the tone of the movie is very creepy um it I mean at through the

whole movie you know it gave me hereditary Vibes in terms of like they said got the tone right but then there are times where I'm like that doesn't

make any sense or what is that what's going on what is going on with the little orb you know I mean the doll orb

you know what I'm talking about yeah yeah yeah I don't because I'm going to go see it tonight yeah but if I say doll orb you're not going to know what that

is well I see it in my head well you know what do orbs are well I'm just obsessed right now now with the

afterlife because I watched this guy on Tik Tok I don't even know if I sent it to you there's a guy on Tik Tok who goes

to graveyards he cleans the grave and as he cleans them he has one of those machines that picks up electromagnetic

Vibes and then it says words through the voice box and I'm not when I dude okay he'll go he'll go he it'll go it'll go

thank you and he's like am I'm cleaning your grave Charlie uh how did you die and it'll go

stab there's no way dude does it let the spirit there play it play it for

him my name's bar sorry little one it was hard for me to hear

you away h

stop if I heard that I would just go to the car I

know wow dude you think those are like demons and stuff there's got to be I mean look people that haven't passed

over right isn't that the theory yeah stop I already know what it is there's a

little person behind that grave store going eat I mean how do you know that it's the grave thing I don't understand there a

machine that does it so there's a box there's a Spirit Box and Spirits can electromagnetically communicate through

the box and it it's filled with like thousands and thousands of words and it electromagnetically picks the word and

it comes out so it'll be like death oh I see striking I see what you're saying mom right right Bob yeah yeah that's it

we should buy one a ghost box and it records but what if there's some words in there that I'm a spirit and I want to

say it and it's not in the [ __ ] box it gets as close as it can like which ones are you trying to say mega

would that be in it I I bet you know what I mean Voldemort it's loaded Voldemort for sure is in a spe I don't

think Voldemort's in the SP when you put that against a gravestone yeah he just does a thing and then as he walks

through let's get one let's go to Hollywood Cemetery done and let's experiment with this stuff man

absolutely we can go to like humphy Bor is it who's buried over there humpy Bor isn't Monroe isn't Marilyn Monroe we got

to go to Marilyn Monroe's thing at Forest Lawn we go they're all there right like May West all these are there

uh uh um Paul Newman right there's all those oh I love your pizzas Paul he'll say thank you will they do that yeah oh

wow Paul you make the best pizza sauce yeah thank you wow have you seen my work

no but I love your pasta sauce I can't name a movie yeah but um wow and I have to say out of

all the Hollywood male stars from back in the day he probably the best looking

Humphrey barard or oh Paul Newman yeah not even close bro he killed it back then he was so handome dude so handsome

dude if I look like that now oh I wouldn't even be here right now dude but there's two kinds of Hollywood guys

there's a Paul Newman or there's a St McQueen Steve McQueen yeah so so Steve McQueen is our

generation's probably like either Charlie hunam

or or or uh what's his name Tom Hardy yeah yeah and Paul Newman is like Austin

Butler oh I was going to say Gosling Gosling I think Austin Butler a Austin Butler no you're right you're right but

but but I think Gosling is hotter gossing so hot He's the hottest guy in Hollywood Delan you like that guy you

like Ry Goos not really what give me a star that you like uh

Jake Gyllenhaal is my favorite yeah he's bab he's a mega babe and he's jacked he's jacked I saw him one night at a bar

on Fairfax and I didn't realize how big he is yeah not St tall he's [ __ ] huge

his arms were massive yeah Jilly you know his choke with me H because I met

him one time I swear to God so my you know my friend Jean yeah they're best friends right and so um Jean

goes you can come to the dinner I I can come cuz finally I can come where was it

Damian right so I come to the dinner and you when you're at dinner like that

everyone's like either a showrunner or like huge person yeah so I'm like I'm there like you have to read the

pockets uhhuh you know what I mean nowhere to slip in exactly nowhere to

slip in yeah exactly right and I didn't slip in anywhere I found no pockets you

you no I was just eating I would go you know what I mean like that kind

of thing no words to Jill I don't think so he was so funny and then I got so nervous I was like okay I'll see you

guys later and left right who is this who's this she posted a pictures of the

day she wanted to wear for her trip to AIT this let me get this right this young lady yeah went to

owitz and she did like a get ready with me yeah yeah I mean I'd like to see what

she wore that's what she wore it looks great yeah so people on the internet are

mad cuz she said get ready with me to go to aitz is she Jewish um she Push pause

for a second she doesn't look Jewish but the spirits at ashwoods probably look at her like look at that fat

[ __ ] yeah yeah me was that a

pig oink oink you know what I mean the spirits didn't like her didn't like her yeah no they I bet you they did she's

very pretty what she's a Bachelor contestant and a redond yeah I mean if like I imagine the

the spirits see that they're like ohot what if you had the little machine they would probably say hot

I yeah it's like it's not good not today hot hot if they have that little I can't

hot it's not even good you sometimes you don't have to swing you I mean sometimes

they let the ball pass what the [ __ ] they let the ball pass all right let the ball pass a couple times you I mean

don't go hot hot you know what I mean that's what you did let's try it again let's try it

again dude so this girl this girl she did a get ready with me to go

to aitz and this is her outfit she wore yeah it's just a black dress and sneakers now is that disrespectful what

is the appropriate thing to wear to owitz I got to say it's probably that but probably not well we have a resident

Jewish kid here Nick what's the appropriate thing to wear to aitz something understated understated solemn something drab and

quiet not loud imagine doing get ready with me to only go to tragic sites

right get ready with me to go to Hiroshima yeah get ready with me get ready with me to go to Chernobyl

today we're going to be visiting one of the most tragic weird [ __ ] up sites you've ever seen yeah get ready with me

now I'm doing a blush that's very like blow you away blush get ready with me to go to Ed gan's house we're in Wisconsin

all right we're at The Farmhouse okay and this is the lamp so this lamp this lamp is made out of human skin right and

I know I'm wearing Gucci right now and you know oh my God and this kind of looks like skin I mean that's I think what Prada was trying to say so that's

why we're here I mean how could it is funny look I'm sure she didn't do it

disrespectfully she just planned to go to aitz for the day which millions of people do and she was like here's what I

wear isn't this what she does on the internet she shows people her day yeah she posted this as a part of her schedule aitz in the AM and well yeah

you got to go in the morning you can't go to aitz at night that's [ __ ] bro if you had a daughter and that's what she was a social media person and you're

in the house and you're carving I don't know what men doood I'm just making a canoe yeah

you're making a canoe right right and she she constant get ready with me get ready with me and let me oh my God oh my God look at this look at this would you

snap no no cuz she's probably I'm like shut up I bet she's making a good living you

would have snap Nick yeah I would go crazy that's the funniest part the best packing hack for going to awit no make

sure you pack food there is not a snack bar yeah wow visiting tragic locations

and doing a get ready with me for them is very funny to me rocket money hey do

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did how did the bay go how was it with the bay did he reprimand let's go what

but why was I nervous do you know why I was nervous because you were talking [ __ ] and I I not talking [ __ ] well Bae

heard you talking that [ __ ] okay I was talking [ __ ] okay so for years I talked

about this IBM commercial not IBM Pepsi commercial yeah and how he goes here the light you know what I mean MH in the

light put your face in the light and you told it on ran I said Onan the biggest poast platform yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah I don't really want anybody to know this story I'll go on Rogan and tell it yeah yeah millions and

millions of people Sunday I'm at The Comedy Store I have his name on the list

I'm up at like 8:45 it's good spot very good spot yeah and

ask anyone that's working I've told this these guys this um he's not there I'm literally getting brought up and he's

not there I'm like you know how you go M he ain't coming come here right MH

and as as I'm getting called up somebody at the lot goes the ba Michael Ba's in

like it's a whole thing like sirens go off the Bay has ascended right so they obviously let him park there

yeah yeah yeah and so I just yell I go just do you know what I mean the back bring them in the back set them right

and then I I'm literally walking the stage while I'm on stage he's walking in with his Entourage so cool yeah and you

know you're mind you it's it's so it was like 80 people you know how sometimes main room no o okay you know the O is

sometimes light on a Sunday yeah sometimes yeah yeah but you know what i k you still did good I you did good I I

survived did good thank you Daddy I love you okay kiddos and then what happened I

know I just lo you oh no I I and and as I'm walking off stage he gets up to meet

me in the back so that we get in the hallway and he goes hey man I go yeah

you know I mean I don't even know what I'm saying but you know we worked I go yeah we work you know me then Pepsi like

yeah oh yeah and I go let's go in the back and talk about it right you drag him to to take drag

them to zos Higher Ground you get to be on that's your territory thank you vulnerable in the hallway in the back in

the back this is my you regain power It's My Den yeah that's your Den yeah so you sit the Bay down so funny nick okay

I sit the Bay down and now I'm like how do I you know what I mean I got to figure mhm so immediately like like a

coward I go well you know sometimes in podcast no I swear to God do that you know sometimes in podcast you know like

I experience the story and then when I say it's like like you know I have to make an entertaining for the people whatever whatever create conflict you

know what I mean yeah and he's like whoa whoa whoa what are you talk what and I go yeah and he goes no my you know just

the girl I'm saying right is she she said that you mentioned it but I never heard it is do you think he had to have

heard it no really no because it turns out she is

a she is the fan oh so she's a she's a

Bobby Lee fan she's said I think Bobby Lee talked about you in a podcast okay right then we just start talking for

like an 45 minutes or and it was great Hollywood stuff he was um super not I I

couldn't believe how like um reachable he was you know what I mean and is that the right word uh I mean reachable Rel

relatable relatable relatable yeah reachable what the [ __ ] are you talking about um I mean you did reach him I did reach

him no and he was like so like super open and nice and we about a variety of things and did it end well yeah really

good was it like hey let's he just like you know he was just kind of like you know I mean I really want to do something with you or something like that I Little Bay movie huh I don't know

little B movie you know things like that are sad and I just take it you know I mean with what it whatever it is right

you know chalk it up sometimes they forget but my point is that you won't forget it was a positive thing and

apparently he hung out there all night and like Jason Collings and some Comics are like he's still here we're hanging out he's so cool you know what I mean so

he watched more shows yeah stayed there I laugh and he just stayed there all night everyone's saying that he he was the Nic he's such a nice guy and it was

a fun night I want to be like you when I goow up you are because guys like the bay you actually go golfing with and go

to like Oregon and some of these Mensa like I don't know these steep State these Mena deep State like private

[ __ ] Mansion parties I'm sure you go in there too mein on yeah yeah we go

to yeah yeah but there's something going on with you I'm not I'm not in the party

I'm ad Jason it's it's funny the way that he can say this and the internet will be like what is going on man what

parties is he get to go to none I sit at my house all day he does he sits around

all no I actually do [ __ ] all [ __ ] day he does I do [ __ ] all day you know what I did today I wash my car and it's

my favorite thing in the world to handwash my car and I went to a little shop in Burbank and I bought all my

little supplies and it was really nice cuz the girl didn't know me which is always nice and she spoke to me like a

car guy and it was like it I I like that like I'm a nobody cuz I am a nobody but

it was nice she didn't like sposed you're like a car guy what like you're a pet boy what the we were talking cars we

talked we talked about stuff we like we talk about certain waxes and soaps that we prefer c c can you improvise that

stuff or no even if you don't know if you don't know what you're talking about yeah I think I can do it okay just try

that oh have you ever tried this caruba wax oh with the car caral chuba well

that's what it was originally called what did you in 1972 right caral racks no caruba yeah but they used to call it

carobu CaRu yeah it wax like noou owned it yeah exactly carobu yeah 1972 off of

Hud car I don't know why you're doing Asian accents sir I'm just here at the car car manufact I'm sorry about that that's a little I see you and I think I

don't know but when you do great sorry I'm so sorry I'll get I'm so

sorry you know I'm going to leave no no no I'm yeah yeah yeah wait a minute am I the customer yeah you're the you work there I work here yeah holy [ __ ] I'm

fired yeah how offensive you know I mean I

wonder if you did that they would leave right 100% unless they're from Japan then they'd love it I don't know they

might not know what was going on excuse me you have a a Cano Rock uh

yeah we yeah we have it up there but it's on the top shelf and it's uh pretty

expensive oh are you you from Tokyo too maybe they would do that oh I would

remember you what's three Mitsubishi Avenue uh I think Bonsai Bonsai way oh

next to the McDonald's yeah yeah yeah yeah it's a good mcdonal um yeah wow no I talked car

stuff and it just felt nice to be like a a human with someone instead of but can ask you about the wax yeah what about

[ __ ] oh I love it I know but and because I've I've never had wax on my car I know I can sell yeah yeah I'm waxless you're

waxless and people seem to like it still who likes your car people go nice ride except for when they see the other side it's a piece of [ __ ] it's smashed to

[ __ ] I know know you're right but um what does the wax do my friend it protects the uh it protects the paint it

protects the uh it doesn't get skin cancer what are you talking about yeah spf35 is on there it's in the sun all

day that poor oh yeah yeah so ums the paint it keeps it shiny and fresh and glossy and more than anything if you

watch watch Karate Kid you would learn wax on wax off it's more about patience

it's more about life lessons it's deeper than just getting dirt off a car it's about connecting to these roots of like

I purchased a thing I want to take care of it I want it to look nice it's work you sweat it feels good you get

meticulous it shows it shows a lot of different things in life so Mr Miyagi was teaching him I love that scene D

remember it probably does make any sense but what do you mean it makes perfect sense oh so he's waxing cars he's

painting fences and then one day you know mean M does that and he does this like if he's painting doesn't make any

sense it taught him patience and timeing oh that's true okay and he had to do his chores someone had to do all that [ __ ]

right but what a cool scene I mean one of the best movies of all time I think so Daniel's son that's right Daniel's

son it's a metaphor wow Daniel's son that was a great movie phenomenal I love

that movie I I mean I honestly I could watch it right now can we put it on no no yeah can we throw it on please but um

okay I dreamed about going to do crane kicks at the beach standing on one of those old wooden things I thought about that all the time yeah but here's the

thing you there's things that you like like you have little things like you know you go you you can go to a golf

store and look at the little like you know the little what am I looking at I'll tell you what you're looking at

you're look at the little jackets that go over the like little you know what I mean this part the little jackets well

you know like you know how oh like the one next to Andrew yeah right there I called those a little jackets oh a

little Club jacket yeah a little Club jacket this is a little Club jacket and I'm going to call that from now on okay good I go can you get my club jacket

please and then you probably look at like um you won't believe what that's called what head cover oh head cover mhm

I didn't know no I know little it's it's not something that I I'm I'm not interested in it right but you have

other thing interest like cars like that kind of stuff yeah you can walk into like a pet boys I guess yeah walking

with Pet Boys yeah yeah yeah and look and go oh look at the collaborator you this this goes really well with the rot

collaborator rotation cuffs what right rotator cuffs yeah and the oil petroleum oil is very good with these rotation

clubs petroleum jelly you put petroleum jelly all over Exxon has the best kind I don't know what they my point is is that

and you that with watches too yeah oh German maid or whatever you say you know what I mean but it's like I literally

have none of that yeah we like different things no I don't have any interest I I can't go into any store and go oh look

you know what I mean look what not true yeah Chinese stars you you like yeah

this one was IM manderin clothes you like uh shoes sex shops sex

stores I mean this is all true you have the same meticulous love it's just our loves are

different it's I think it's different shoes though no there's not a I don't oh yeah I guess you maybe right yeah I'm

like that with smells fragrances been to my house yeah have I there smells all over my [ __ ]

house yeah it's a fragrant house yeah yeah I have I'm not kidding you I probably have

450 colog of various kinds yeah that's yeah that's that's and then I also have

oils for the little rocks that I have you know what I mean so I guess I do have little things you have little Trinkets and you would do and you would

go to a little trinket smell store and you'd want to smell everything I want to be a man is what I'm saying I don't have man things yeah you do can tell me one

you have um animals cats you have dogs but they

don't live with me right yeah well that's what I'm talking about it okay let's move on you're manly though you

think so I try to rate good show me so what time you going watch long

legs tonight I'm going to go see long legs tonight yeah you're going to like it it's pretty cool but I'm going to go

alone oh that's good cuz I want to be he's scared yeah yeah and you can't you can't do that when you're with somebody

yeah he's probably I mean what a career Nick Cage the best

yeah because there was a while where he wasn't he did all those small movies cuz Hollywood probably pushed him out why

did they why he didn't get in trouble or something he didn't anything he did that one remember the Christian movie was one of the worst movies ever what was it

called left left behind left behind one of the worst movies ever made I don't

remember that's yeah he phoned every scene in it was one of the worst movies you got to watch this movie there is on

right there yeah pH yeah yeah I mean there's literally one scene where he has his like Captain's head over his face you can't even see his face he's just

saying his lines you know what I mean he hated it and he but they probably paid him a lot think about how hard that is

go back to the poster and you see all those people in it like this could be the break of their lifetime and he's and he's just like [ __ ] it yeah Chad Michael

Murray Cassie Thompson Nikki wheelen Jordan Sparks yeah I gota be love Jordan

I don't know who those people are am I stupid Chad Michael Murray is famous what I'm stupid 20 years ago Jordan

Sparks was a pop singer right oh I know him yeah yeah I know him

personally you do yeah no seriously we have lunch on Wednesdays I know we have lunch every

Wednesday that's no way yes Jim me and CMM that's what I call him I didn't know that was his real name wow he's a good

guy no I never met him but I bet he's rad I mean think about that maybe maybe Chad was like [ __ ] this film's going to be awesome and then the guy that stars

in your movie is like [ __ ] this and Bales would that would bump you break your soul yeah I mean um I I think they were

also going oh they didn't like it either I don't think so terrible strip it's you have to watch it's one of the worst

movies ever made well it's about what he's a pilot and a a plane disappears and it's no no this is what it is it's a

Christian so a Christian production company made it you got me so basically the Rapture all right right so like one

day just people just kind of disappear and then the clothes just fall to the ground wa and it's like six dudes left

going oh oh [ __ ] where oh no we didn't believe in God what do we do right and

he start R party I know dude number one I would go to the pharmacist yeah right unless the pharmacist is still alive no

they're gone oh good he's in heaven right yeah he's in heaven so [ __ ] I would go you know like Drugstore Cowboy

I that's my one of fantasies deloted you know I mean I would just go try to find all the [ __ ] right get all the and then

you know what I would do dude I fantas about I fantasize about this all the time dude I can't wait right then I'm going to go to San Marcos why San Marcos

California do you know why why that's where the real doll factory is God right so I go to the pharmacist

right probably nine pharmacists get all the I'll relapse I don't give a [ __ ] oh [ __ ] I okay I'm so excited so I'll

relapse right so then I'm going to get cars probably still work yeah cars work

everything works until it stops working yeah yeah but you can't get them fixed that's right but I I you assume that for

the next 20 years you'll be a find cars that you'll be fine you just keep getting a new car switch cars go to San

Marcos right and I would go to but I don't know how but they they like pre-b belt you mean I get 20 of

them don't you think I think you would just go in and use it when you're done you'd leave no because I don't want I don't want to live in San Marco I think

where do you want to live everyone's gone I would I would go to back to Malibu or something like a nice Beach

property okay then get yourself an 18-wheeler truck and load that [ __ ] up with sex doll toys and bring it up to a

house in Malibu bring it to Spielberg's house and pack that thing with real dolls I so I I have all these fantasies

what I would do the real doll factory is where you'd go I'm trying to genuinely think if if that happen and a bookstore

probably a bookstore yeah because I because I like I I need to be doing something I so I

was like I'm going to read you're not yes I am yes I am you don't read now what's the difference I would learn to

read I'd be so bored you can't just [ __ ] a real doll all day long on deloted try

me yeah yeah eventually you're like oh Hemingway you Sun Also Rises I don't even know what I would do I can't even

imagine what I would do if like so how many people are gone of the population it's it's like almost everybody only a few people are no half the population is

proba oh well that's a lot of people still left okay but I have scenarios in my brain when I go to bed I think of these things what imagine if there's

only 50 people whoa on planet Earth you'll never going to run into anybody so what would

you do you're never going so you're alone basically this is the scenario yeah what would you do the first thing I

would do yeah you can't kill yourself

boring boring yeah don't kill yourself no you want well you stay I'd stay alive but you're never going to see anybody

again so you're the last person on Earth basically yeah you don't know that they're there the 50 so you're never going to see them but what if what if

you run into one of them yeah yeah it's the most annoying guy like who would be the annoying you

think to have on Earth yeah it's not going to also be because it's like if there's 50 people like a teacher from

high school that's still around right and there's probably half of them are women right probably and then probably

seven of them that'd be great if it was 49 dudes and one chick and you got to go find her oh wow the

hunt so what would you do 50 people the first thing you do first thing I do yeah

boom everyone's gone clothes drop boom what do I do well at first you would go like what what's going all that what's

going on panic panic sheer Panic so after a week you find out you know what I mean that you're there's no one around

then what do you do I'd go to go to Downtown LA go go to Skid ow because the

bodies are gone but the drugs are still there right right you know they leave all the belongings is that where all I mean there are other drugs other places

where are they CVS no no I'm talking about H I'm riding the horse I want a heroin so I'm going downtown kiddo I'm

going to a safe needle drop spot and I'm grabbing those needs jamming them in my arm and also downtown there's a

Lamborghini dealership and I'm grabbing one of those things and I'm on the horse as I'm flying through LA on that stuff

I'm driving right to the sunet on the 10 yeah dude justed out of my

mind whoa dude dude going I'm as fast as I can just slamming into [ __ ] and then

as soon as I get to the beach where Washington meets the water right off of the pier into the ocean no oh yeah dude

yeah and then I'm jerking off wow 100% but what here's the horror

what if you can't die oh [ __ ] like groundhog yeah like groundhog you can't die well then you find fun to do every

single day right I would jump well a couple of times you want to jump off of something you want to know what that feels like yeah also fashion you could

just wear whatever you want well I'd be naked I'm not going to well I'm not going to bother with clothes socks and underwear i' have like those gigantic

green Rave pants right with the loops with the tons of loop I've always wanted to wear one of those little [ __ ] hats with the

little propeller right and you know what I would wear one of those like you know

the Eric Griffin masks oh the big nose the big nose masks right and I would probably take a

tattoo gun and just be tattooing yourself I I always post Malone at yeah

on the face yeah but would I put just like a bunch of fours four four just all over my face

what it's some arbitrary number right yeah it be and then all of a sudden they come

back then I'm gonna be like what I got needles in my arm at where have you guys

been insane my teeth are all gone yeah wow it'd be fun to pull out a tooth that

would be fun oh that's yeah the things that could go wrong I'll tell you what would go wrong what if you get sick oh

yeah well so this like I don't know how chemo works or how to get it I don't even know if I have how do you even know

you have cancer I go to the scripts there's no one there I don't even know I press a button I don't know what to do you just sit in the machines by

yourself yeah yeah you print it out I can't read this yeah and you leave wow wow that'd be a nightmare it would be

that's the you know and you know what the lesson in life is guys we need people so be nice to each other that's exactly what the we need each other we

don't we don't want a society uh without whether we agree or disagree we need each other

MH I've always you know I mean that yeah here's another fantasy I have at night

yeah because you know I need fantasies before I go to bed and over the years I just put scenarios in my head and I go

what if this happens so I I'm a big fan of the movie Highlander love right so

what if you couldn't die but you were born from the beginning of time right and you had to just live through time so

you so you so you're Immortal yeah but then in in my head it's like if I looked 5' two in Asian I could only hang out in

Korea until like 1960 in my mind I think that right

because there's no way there's no part of History yeah right where i' be completely accepted you know what I mean

well yeah what do you mean what do you mean what do you mean what do I mean what place What place would you be

accepted forever what Korea China I probably learn all the languages Asian langu pass for Mexican he bro see all

right maybe he sold me on it I probably wouldn't even know how to get there until 1960 if I was you yeah and I

wanted to last from the beginning it'd be the islands oh anywhere on island any

Island they're never going to [ __ ] with you cuz you look so native yeah to a a place surrounded by water you look like

a guy you so much for saying that I've always thought that but thank you for am I wrong so much you look like a water boy yeah yeah but then who would I have

sex with what do you mean no Nick you're not around who would you have sex with

on the island yeah well people would inhabit it natives would inhabit it right right just brown people like

Samoans and stuff it's a dark yeah darker use oh darker use darker use yeah

yeah but in my mind yeah I wouldn't even see it know what a white person is may be what a what a blessing but but here's

the thing to never see a white yeah but in the but in my mind I would love to been at historical places oh okay like

like me like like go to the like Jesus's shop did you have a little store a little yeah yeah yeah like oh this nice

otaman not like really get involved he would probably know who I was like oh you're the guy that you know mean that we God made from a long time whatever

but what if Jesus was you go to a store he's real chatty yeah like I walk in ding ding ding do they does there is

there like a hey welcome how are you brother hey I'm just new in town you know I'm

from where are you from Palestine welcome thank you whoa there's

something different about you because all the other stor they won't even let me in well let me tell you something with those other people they don't have a heart like me oh my arms fell off oh

hold on who you're welcome thank you what's your name

Jesus hello Jesus last name God oh hi hi Jesus God hi hi what can I

help you with today what are you looking for oh I'm looking for um actually a um a guillotine do you make those we make

Guillotines yeah is that what oh they're called from where I'm from oh they call him

Gilla a guillotine yeah yeah yeah we G Gia yeah oh Guillotine been saying it

wrong for a long time yeah yeah because we get a brochure or Guillotine brochure

and you know yeah it just spelled guillotin I got to tell you I I got they're going to kill me soon I got to go they're going to be killing me soon

when today oh yeah people I trust a lot oh really yeah some of my best friends actually oh because I was running into a

guy named Paul you know him yeah good dude yeah yeah yeah good dude

he taught me how to serve last week yeah yeah yeah at the Dead Sea oh cool no

waves no waves and we still served it's unbelievable body boarding body boarding yeah cool all right I have a real

genuine concern I need your help hold on because I want I want to help you

please oh he's got to pray

M I love you so much and I'm going to be here as a friend this is friend talk

with Bobby Lee and I'm going to be an open [ __ ] vessel and I am going to I'm not going to go for comedy I'm going

to go for real okay so what is your problem my friend are you being serious mom when I go Mama g m right and

I do friend talk I'm 100% serious I'm not going to go for comedy I need your help go ahead I forgot my iCloud

password and I don't know how to reset that [ __ ] thing and it's really been driving me

nuts no what is my I really have a concern and I'm being serious about this

my memory feels like I'm I'm slipping away dude I'm bro I swear to [ __ ] God

dude I the other night I thought I was losing my memory I've like started to forget things way more of me too me too

and here's another thing dude the other day I was laying in bed and I was like trying to think of Arsenal players that

I'm a big fan of and I couldn't remember like four or five of them what's going on with us no I'm being real me too I'm

not making this up and so there's something in the water Something In The Water there's something going on where I'm like forgetting things or sometimes

I'll pleas play stardew Valley and I'm like like like if I have to pick turnips or not turnips um what oh what was it oh

yeah it was melons I go I you just forgot that I forgot that I know I know

and I was like running to cuz I had to pick melons right because I had to make pinkcake oh pinkcake yeah because it was

a say pancake no pink pink pink cake oh pinkcake no I didn't say it like that

okay all right right and I'm like because it was [ __ ] Haley's birthday right no Penny's birthday I forgot that

see right and then I was running and I was like what am I running toward whoa

like I didn't know what I was running toward I go what was I doing and I had to think for a while I

go oh yeah melon melon what but when you're running for melons and you forget it that's that's a danger I've been

running for melons my whole life dude so what is going on with you tell me what you forgot I'm doing little things now

that I used to never do my memories usually I'm usually very sharp and well

for you I've always said I have no long-term memory it's crazy it's gone but the shortterm used to be so good but

I'm doing things I used to never do that would bother me like what I'll put a thing somewhere forget where I put it

and I never do that wow I lost a car key dude I lost a car hello what is going on

the other day I was like where's my car key no I'm being real where is it I lost a car key it was in my hand in your

hand the woman at the dealership goes well you got the car home cuz I have the second key and she goes so it's

somewhere in your house don't you don't know I can't I cannot tell you yeah and I'm telling you

this without fine my I would have no [ __ ] devices oh my God thank God for fine my dude without fine my no devices

isn't that a cousin of yours fine my yeah yeah that's what I meant my cousin runs

around where's my phone I find it and he just runs around dude you me I'm

forgetting stuff dude I'm getting a little worried I'm not gonna lie dude I I I'm I swear on my life right now dude

scaring me I'm literally going through the same thing it's been the last couple of weeks I go am I losing my mind in

fact a couple of times didn't I tell you guys at on this podcast where I go am

I forgetting things do I see like I'm do remember I said that but you know what I've learned to Humble us out Stress and

Anxiety can make you feel like you're not remembering stuff but it's because your brain is overwhelmed there's to you

know what it is there's too many things clogging up the production line and so nothing can get produced my God you know

when a chip bag gets caught you know like a chip bag it's like oh [ __ ] and it gets caught and you poop poop another

one and it gets another one in there that's our brain what's a chip pack a chip a bag of chips in vending machine

yeah and all it needs B9 sometimes you go B7 and oh it meant to do B9 and now

you're getting the [ __ ] you know what I mean you need a six oh you drop and knock everything out wa I never thought

about that yeah yeah yeah so I'm taking an A6 in a couple of days you are I'm A6 in out to Hawaii and what are you going

to do there golf don't even golf mahiki you're going to golf there come on I want to lay you w who you going with who

you going with who you going with a good friend of mine barbad

salamanan barbad salaman was my Shaman for many years oh I know you told me about I read his book barbad Salam yeah

yeah the one thing I hate is Happ nights he wrote Happy night he makes me dock I don't want to he makes me dock with him

but that's because you're trying to connect energy yeah barbad is a strange guy yeah when

you and I dog yours swallows up mine it does and it's like it's not right it's

it's the power your power is too much no you know what it looks like you know those little attachments on a vacuum you're your yours is the attachment hose

and mine is the one that Clips in oh right right right I I suck it in you suck it so hard what does the rest of

the summer hold for us greatness we're going to Montana going to oh yeah well

make announcement we we're going to Montana because Bobby's going up there to shoot a movie or a TV show a movie with who what who is in it that's good

good who's in it what why who's in it Jim beloi famous you love him yeah what do you

mean Legend yeah he's the man yeah According to Jim to that guy that guy and he's got a weed show right that's

great is that and then I'm doing it with uh Miss Jones oh my mom hi I was downtown in Katie's apartment today

ready to help her the move we'll chat tomorrow is that a

translator it's probably it's probably like phone

transl yeah I love you show her so much when I saw her I hugged her so

deep they were happy to see you when they ran into really love them let me see let me read you this poem though

real quick I am the mayfly metamorphosing I can't even read it I am the mayfly metamorphosing on the surface

of the river and I am the bird which when spring comes arrives in time to eat the mayfly I am the frog swimming

happily in the Clear Pond and I'm also the grass snake who approaching in silence feeds itself on the Frog I am

the child in Uganda all skin bones my legs as thin as bamboo sticks I am the

arms Merchant selling deadly weapons to Uganda I the 12-year-old girl Refugee on

a small boat who throws herself in the ocean after being by a sea pirate I am the pirate my heart not yet capable of

seeing seeing and loving wow what are you looking up what is that he goes wow

oh I saw something wild what' you see Wild I was at a coffee shop and the gentleman making the coffee had one he

had two arms but only one hand and it was wait wait let me stop you know me I need visualization he had two two arms

and what one hand one hand was missing very good yeah he had had a yeah okay the hand's missing okay and and I didn't

notice it until he handed my handed me my coffee with the obviously the nub hand yeah his but the nub was inside my

coffee and he mve like yeah got all over the place yeah no I assume it was the one with the grip no like a chest piece

he went your move right your move oh it's like a rook he was Rook to pawn rooked upon yeah rooked upon latte

rooked upon I see no but he had but he had one hand and honestly I'm not mocking him at all he was unbelievably

fast doing the orders taking the thing and it was so quick and I thought

how is it no fingers I mean he I mean look yeah yeah move things around like like that well I mean I mean let's say

there's a coffee cup right here right if it spills most of the time it's

most of the time going to Spill and maybe the Nub's more sensitive it had one of you know you know the coffee sleeve you put on the outside of a cup

he had that on his nub yeah I you know here's what I don't like you know here's what I that's very funny you know what I

don't like when they have n but only two fingers chop them get those right yeah you me yeah yeah I mean it's like you

know just commit to one you know what I would do every time if I did have a nub every every time like the like this like

that rock if I had a nub yeah I'd be like yo throw me that rock yeah yeah toss to me ah [ __ ] I would do it with

the nub hand I try to go for it with the nub hand and people would laugh yeah because it's a good bit got like do you

know you got to give yourself a little bit right right right like he I don't think he said anything about it cuz but

if I'm him you know what I mean what no I I would make a joke about it yeah dude

you know you'd have to say something yeah yeah it's like you uh you what kind of milk what kind of milk do you want what oat milk okay yeah uh you want do

you want anything inside of it vanilla here's I here's why I don't want inside of it what you're

nub I think it'll taste funny excuse me yeah I just don't want nub in my coffee

you're rubbing my nub the wrong way yeah yeah yeah now rub it for good luck for real yeah yeah yeah thank you

you'd have to pound everyone you'd have to you know it'd be cool if you had the one hand missing and you saw another guy with one hand you you probably from

across the restaurant go and they go right like we relate yeah

yeah now by the way did I over tip the guy with the nub yes you did under tip he need half as much right yeah no I I

over tipped him I put 20 bucks I put 20 bucks in the thing yeah but but it it's he's not the it's not like you know what

I mean no like I'm I'm a sucker you're a I felt bad but it's like I shouldn't feel bad for burn victims well you see

them all the time are they burn victims you see them a lot yeah when was the last time you saw a burn

victim parump pump Nevada that's where they keep them yeah yeah I saw one burn

victim in pump you go to rump yeah yeah you know what I almost did yesterday here you go on the way to the store I

almost went to Carney and it's been years since I've had a hot dog at Carney love it that place I know I should go I

I I I don't know when's the last time you had a hot dog yeah when's the last time you had a hot dog uh three days ago

from dogh house you eat hot dogs that often I love hot dude let me say something about Hot Dogs Wait what you

eat hot dogs more i d bro that's why I always purposely go to Chicago airport

for the hot dogs because I need a Chicago dog me too but it's it's a very special occasion you're eating a

midweek you're eating like a hot dog on a Wednesday yeah that's insane D I love them hot dogs and I've been really

getting into Smash Burgers as of late but I love dog house that's nice but always something bad happens at dog

house you know why you know why why why because dogghouse is where I found out

that my dad was dying are you serious and you still go back yeah I was in the Burbank dogghouse I remember sitting

there I didn't even eat my meal you left the dog yeah I left two dogs two dogs and tater tots I got it yeah yeah and

I'm you know and I go yeah Dad I go oh [ __ ] every time I go to a dogh house

something bad kind of happens ever since then you think about your dad yeah maybe that's what that's so sad yeah it's very

sad we should go make it a happy we should go to dog house and do something for your dad and want to do that I would

love to do that yeah why have his ashes maybe sprinkle some on there on a dog yeah yeah I usually just do mustard but

I I could yeah BR the spirit radio see he's there we should bring the spirit radio to the dogghouse see if we can

contact your father through dog through hot dog yeah pleas did your dad like hot dogs hated them that's why you [ __ ]

hated them yeah maybe they he hated them right you know I was on um this lady goes I saw the Rolling Stones last

weekend and they were great and she showed me a video what the [ __ ] how the stones how are they still doing it yeah

mck Jagger just going out still I mean how's he doing killing it he's probably the he's probably in the best shape ever he's 80 but it's amazing Keith Richard

is alive because yeah he smoked what a pack of marro maros every day for like

30 years or whatever yeah and he's still up there it's proof that it's all [ __ ] it's it's it's it's it's an

accident delane's young she might die tomorrow right it who knows you could live to be 96 years old I know chances

are actually higher that you'll outlive in fact I read a study that says some people that exercise too regularly have

a higher risk of dying because stress that exercise puts on your body it does exercise has stress there's stress

related things that goes to your heart yeah like my my organs don't move much they don't need to move yeah maybe

they're being preserved in my body yeah you're pickling yourself yeah I'm pickling my own body that's great heavy stress heavy stress from like guy people

who usually live look working out's Obviously good for you but people who you live a lifestyle that work out often

tends to be the same kind of personality traits of people that lose sleep because they're overworking some people die from

drinking water never well if you drink too much yeah there was one girl that

did it one time that's I'm talking about what's that the girl that died from drinking what did she drink like eight gallons of water no there was a college

kid who took Molly and he got scared he kept drinking water and died that's how you die on Molly you think you're dehydrated Indiana woman dies from

drinking too much water I wonder what the like the um the first sign is a pain

a dizziness they say dizziness and and you start to get headache real bad headache and then you drink more water thinking that'll help your

headache interesting that is crazy man it's like when you know somebody's on like a reality show like alone or are

are naked and afraid yeah they can't eat right away no like like I'm gonna get a [ __ ] Philly cheese that would kill

you well you throw they throw up usually your stomach is shrunk by that point you could die maybe even what would you

what's the first thing you would eat peanut a peanut like if I'm like on on a

show like alone like I okay give me a peanut first cuz I don't want to die I don't overwhelm my system one peanut

shifts in Electro levels can cause serious complications including seizures heart failure and Comas if you just got off the show you and I did Naked and

Afraid yeah all right yeah we're done they're like anywhere you want to go anything you want to eat we don't go to

right to [ __ ] Barcelona and go to a restaurant no you you have to go to a camp they they they have doctors and

stuff that observe your body I know I'm saying the first meal you have when you get home but is this is right when I'm

off the show or when I go home let's pretend that it is for the sake of are we going home together you and I yeah

we're going out to eat together yeah okay so we would probably go to what restaurant would we go to

mastros I would want I'd want steak potatoes vegetables salad I'd want a [ __ ] little little bone

marrow I would slurp up some bone marrow and that bacon that that that crack bacon I want crack bacck bacon sugar

crack bacon baby and then I would get [ __ ] Seafood Tower oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

oh you know what we get caviar M with creme fresh right on on your nipples I'll lick them off you really yeah yeah

yeah it doesn't even have to be crem fresh for me it could be your my my creme fresh yeah yeah my creme dude I

mean I would literally probably do that if I was starving you're hungry enough yeah yeah if I had some like caviar but

i' I'd make you watch me cook you know what do you stand right there while I'm

cooking yeah yeah okay anyway if you're going to eat the chef's meals and the chef's got a taste as you know he has to

spoon his own that's enough I don't think bread would be good would it oh my God yeah like a whole sourdough bread D

we went to dinner a couple nights ago I ate a whole I you know when they bring out the Bread Basket I ate the whole thing to myself oh I love [ __ ] house

it house it yeah my wife is like what are you doing yeah I was like I we didn't eat lunch I'm hungry there's sticks in there you like when they do

that or I'll eat the sticks you I don't like the sticks you don't like the bread sticks I like the warm like bre bread you like the pretzel bread that's what

you like how do you know that that's my favorite how do you know that about we eat together that's right I love the pretzel bread yeah I love pretzel bread

buns on like hot dog you knew who has it I don't care

what you say weener szel yeah yeah I know you like that Chicago dog with a pretzel bun that's it dude weener

schnetz I'll tell you my glorious day of eating a perfect day of eating for

breakfast like we said baked [ __ ] oh sorry yeah of course [ __ ] yeah yeah

baked beans your that's my second breakfast right yeah yeah yeah your perfect breakfast is beans spam a rice

egg and kimchi done lunch Chicago dog MH

with the pretzel bun mhm tater tots with some some of the spicy like like dip oh yeah some sort spicy mayo yeah dinner

now here we go here we go I don't know that's what I mean I don't know there's so many options too many yeah

the Chicago Cubs have invited me to throw out the first pitch and sing the seventh inning stretch in Chicago no

September 6th against the New York Yankees wow yeah and congratulations I would

love for you to be there I can't okay that's I will not be there fine I'm going to watch you pitch are yeah your

mind you come out with me no I'm not going out there dude come on they're not gonna know me you'll be the catcher I'll be the pitcher just like in real

life gay sex joke congratulations that's a huge thing

dude I can't wait man they reached out and they said they would it'd be you know they would love for me to do it so

I'm gonna throw out the first pitch you and I here's what I want to do I need to warm up will you do I'll do it will you

warm me up I'll warm you up dude okay so congratulations you want to watch me warm up on patreon you got to watch me

and Bobby are going to go in honor of Brody Stevens we'll go to a cage in uh in what is he what is it uh huh we'll go

to one of those cages up north in the valley somewhere where he used to throw congratulations that's a huge thing yes

Santino yeah I'm gonna get to throw out the first pitch and sing the seven inning stretch which I can't wait it's funny how you don't think your friend is

big but they are you don't think I'm so me no you know no you I mean you

don't look at me like I'm just your friend Bob you don't think of like what you know I don't think of you

like a famous guy you I do yeah you seem to yeah same

to you same to you too but you but you know yeah it takes you out of it's just weird well when you see like I'll see

like you know Nikki Glazier on something I go oh [ __ ] yeah well she's on

everything yeah or any of your friends well you watch a movie and go oh [ __ ] that guy's in the oh yeah that's my

friend he's in the movie yeah yeah thank you for being bed friend of than you for being a bad

[Music]

friend

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