Bad Friends Drinking Game | Ep 13 | Bad Friends with Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee

you two are bad these two idiots bad

friends the game show is gonna be great bro what are you worried about it's

gonna be [ __ ] awesome I read the reviews already it's so they're so good yes I did yeah there's a bunch of

reviews there's no reviews due to variety said it's the hottest new game show this side

of the Mississippi yeah they did that cuz I've been googling it do it what have you what is it what has it been

saying nothing I mean deadlines put a [ __ ] um a photo up and it cropped me

and Ian Karmel off the sides yeah so it's just Keegan Sereno Venus Williams

and Rob Gronkowski yeah well what are you gonna do you know Ricky no I just I

feel like I should have something Justin just in case if I'm in the mood I'm not gonna have one unless I feel it take a

shot no I'm not gonna not unless I feel it you know I'm new I'm it's got a tight spot but sober go ahead tempt me no no

it's gotta be what you're doing no what do you mean five months sober now tell me you don't like drinking that much I

love imma drink or two do you not want me to do this in front of you and I love it I love living through you

this is a level of control that I know you have come on man you can do this

yeah the bad friends drinking game here's how you play every time Bobby Lee

says Vegas is that the thing is is that because the thing is that that the thing is is that the thing is is that the

thing is is that good thing is is that your thing is is that have a drink must be legal drinking age to play but

whatever dude we're not the [ __ ] cops okay so I have a hole my tooth

let me see you want to see it yeah I want to see your whole tooth all right I

can't do that well just see it from there where how far is it which one is it it's

way back here there's a black hole oh yeah black hole tooth in my mouth yeah

and it's like you know one of those were you're like it's fine it's fine yeah

it's fine it's fine it's fine and at 3:00 in the morning you hear you wake up

vibrating it vibrates all of us in in it spikes spike spike and that you wake up

you go [ __ ] and they oh it's gone you're gonna make it you can make an appointment though now my dentist said

he's back next week I said I'm coming in just to say hi no no I might I like I

like the pain a little bit so I'm gonna wait a little bit yeah you're sick yeah you're sick [ __ ] you like paint

white masturbate when I so when it gets me hard it hurts the worst yeah I love

it but so the hole in my tooth and then um

there's a lot of [ __ ] and then the Chinese lady got her face kicked in what

Chinese lady got her face kicked in do you ever see that video did it just come out can i play you a video that I posted

on the internet buds we talked about the Chinese lady what's her name ching chong

fat fat I don't know man I love ching chong fat pan yeah but ching chong fat fat these is two african

african american gentlemen oh you can say what you were gonna say what are we gonna say black eyes okay there it is

and they kick this Chinese lady in the face is that on the news can you see it

not it was on the Internet let me play this for you let me tell you this way this is this is this is this is

a throwback I post it again because timing wise it's pretty great who's this lady though you know what

maybe I could look at this look at this

Asian Larry yeah first of all this is what this video came out a long time ago but I saw it again I might I was oh yeah

I want to show the course again please don't turn

[Music]

I tried everything and you guys you know

what I might do it this asian lady how

is she standing there through this there's four minutes of this alright first of all if I was that age okay all

right if I was that Asian lady the

rudest [ __ ] I've ever heard of my life yeah yeah I was going through my folders am I on my phone but she doesn't realize

how difficult it's so rude how difficult it is to be a ninja yeah the levels are insane she could

never be ninja yeah because there's different levels number one you have to be able to climb a tree she can't climb a tree there's no way there's no chance

right number what to you have to have this enough breath stamina to [ __ ] do

the blowgun yeah it's you gotta have that she doesn't have any doesn't have

that she has to be able to throw a star hard enough to puncture skin yeah yeah she can't do that she's gotta be sneaky

as [ __ ] she's not sneaky and I imagine her being a ninja what's that white lady in the tree that's a ninja and then Josh

yeah yeah ma'am please get down yeah she [Music]

sunscreen Mitch always which I could you know I won't give up I

gotta try my best you can [Music]

you know what this reminds me you know who this is by the way this is a girl that sells Murphy beds in Orange County

that's what she did this as a promo to sell Murphy beds you know Murphy beds are the beds that go in the wall the

cabinet what the cabinet beds you know they pop out of the cabinets have you ever seen that yeah that's what she

sounds she's like a she opened a Murphy bed company that's like years ago yeah but this is she put this out for promo

let's see the course one more time it's one of my favorite courses she almost a

ninja take chow down to Chinatown this

is the most racist [ __ ] I've ever heard of my life and it makes me laugh so hard this poor asian lady you know what does

enjoy their being a Navy SEAL right yeah it's the hardest and imagining a Chinese

dude yeah or a woman yeah I want to be Navy SEAL I don't think it's that

offensive a Navy SEAL yeah well if it was a Chinese lady just a cultural thing

right right so the idea is what the accent is what's offensive it's very

offensive yeah it's really good you know I'll be honest with you I had a girlfriend once her name was Sarah and she lived in Louisville

I know she is do you I know her if you come back yeah she was right or she yes she still does it and I stayed she want

to be ninja no she I stayed at her parents house and she goes so um we're having a special dinner for you this

actually happened this is so good already I already know what it is but no you do know not every special dinner for

you but so you have to sit in the I guess white people in the Midwest or in the South they have basement

yeah we love basements yeah I've never been in a basement before well there's a purpose for it we have those we have

those in Midwest for tornadoes and [ __ ] we need to go down there also extra square footage is really good so I'm in

real estate mint mm-hmm and I was there for about 45 minutes she comes down and

Sarah's wearing kimono and she goes and

it's about mind you there's 20 people there yeah her grandparents on both sides yeah uncles aunts right so I go

what what why are you wearing kimono you'll see so we go upstairs the whole

place right has she put bamboo on the walls okay there's um like swords on the

wall too like samurai swords I like it the grandmother everyone they were that mascara right Chinese eyes mascara i

walking dining room.the all shut up I swear to God they bow to you oh yeah

yeah what was that they said what kind of cha cha cha yeah yeah right and then she

goes take your shirt off I go why you have to wear this shirt it's an extra small Pokemon shirt so I

put this extra snow Pokemon shirt on it's like you know me super tight super - I can pee I can barely breathe yeah

and I'm sitting there and then everyone's wearing chopsticks but we're eating like um what why people eat um

like roast turkey we usually eat Oh what do you mean oh no no Chinese food at all

no I didn't even make didn't even try to me but we haven't used I remember saying chopsticks to pick up stuffing which is

very difficult to do by the way do you think her mom told would you think that was a bit she's funny right she was young he's very funny

happy yeah having a good time and I'm kind of laughing - but deep down outside

of this is the price you pay to get white [ __ ] if you want to listen oh

yeah if you're an Asian dude and you want white [ __ ] sometimes you have to take

take one for the team one for the team yeah you got to take another one for the team they were very funny funny family - one time we were hosts back

writing yeah it wasn't in Kentucky and we're in the woods and her dad just goes see that tree right there yeah I go yeah

that's where we hang [ __ ] were there any Chinese guys up there no oh is it joke I know you're right you're

writing love and you laugh he literally goes that's where we hang Chinese please

yeah and everyone laughs they laugh oh yeah it's a joke yeah sure yeah yeah yeah hang in Chinese I've had like a lot

of those situations but that's the price you pay it's the price you pay for white

[ __ ] yes damn my [ __ ] good huh no no because you get to the point because

then you realize all [ __ ] the same yeah hit it all right like if you eat white [ __ ] like if I close my eyes you

know I guess the [ __ ] looks the colorization is different but if I close my eyes and I looked black [ __ ] white

[ __ ] and asian [ __ ] I don't think I'd be like mmm that one tastes like wasabi

or whatever yeah there's a difference there's a difference wait so if I accept

we blindfolded you mm-hmm all right so we we bought we did a contest right and

we have an Indian [ __ ] in front of you so from in someone from someone from

India yeah and you licked it what would you taste yellow curry yeah black [ __ ]

oh wow that's weird that's like it's

like look at that much seven eight you

like yeah redheads love black [ __ ] tastes like cornerstore potato chips yeah yeah okay I guess yes you're right

yeah it's all the same I can't believe we're actually talking about this in front of Rudy by the way yeah Rudy yes it's terrible she's above she's over 18

I know but I don't want to she shouldn't be in the room we should kick her out for that stuff Rudy did you like that I want to be

ninja lady yeah you did she like that sort of the [ __ ] Mike Rudy that's gonna be a shirt by the way get closer

to the [ __ ] mind you don't lose so uh Rudy you don't find that to be a it's offensive but it's funny yeah yeah

that's exactly ask you something if you were at that party would you stay like if you were that poor woman that there's

an Asian there's one Asian woman they focus on right over her shoulder what if you that was you right if that's Rudy if

we're looking at this video game again please we're looking at this video we play together now we're looking at this video right Rudy right now that's Rudy

obviously looking look at the woman next to the Asian lady yeah yeah right here

right yeah she's smiling right yeah they're all kind of they're all kind of smiling Asian ladies definitely not you

know what she's thinking right there look at the whole song by the way every

frame she's just holding her composure yeah yeah I can't believe she didn't

hurt her yeah I think she kill her she's in every [ __ ] shot and look at this old ninja yeah Wow I know who the beef

look at the big dude in the back you're totally a ninja man I'm an so

much CNX I don't know we're a yeah these are all real people in Orange County

this is very this is very Orange County is look at this [ __ ] morons outfit I

know these people loved it they all want to be ninja yeah damn damn dude you know

what it is by the way well you know what it is it's just that's just like a tongue that's just people that have only

that kind of white people have only been around only white people so this isn't a big deal to them I'm telling you I'll

tell you why grew up in Orange County they never left I'll tell you why that's true you know cuz you grew up around San Diego because in any other area in the

country yeah obviously you don't just you don't you tell

somebody yeah you always you call somebody go hey hey Sally mm-hmm I'm

doing that ninja song right yeah only in Orange County

yeah any other society it's like no don't do that song don't do that we're gonna do that song cuz Sally Chang's

gonna be there and she goes yeah she gets it yeah she's cool she gets it

yeah so like if I like you know how you and I've talked about how when we make

you know a joke like we want to do a tweed yeah about a black person we always call four or five other dudes

comics we always make sure we call other people too for information MXC like I have Mexican things I want to say yeah

there's Johnny Sanchez there's certain guys that I like called ages is the

right to call you guys frijoles or whatever it might be you know I mean you

know it's cool man yeah but it's only cool because you know them so this woman

doesn't really know any Asian people or have any Asian friends yeah this is just her this this is a joke between her and

her friends and it's the funniest thing they've ever said yeah she's like I'm gonna be sold or not probably not right

this was years ago it was just I found it in my videos on my phone when I was deleting stuff transferring from my to

my phone from my computer and I was like what is this video and I clicked on it and I remember I was like oh my god that

this was before people got cancelled it's like five years ago yeah god it's so funny makes me laugh so [ __ ] hard it is so unaware and you're on the road

because you for me I have to travel to certain places in the country you you've

been there as well yeah we're gonna do the same thing your experience in Nashville is probably different than my experience oh yeah for some I don't sell

tickets there you don't sell tickets at all in Nashville Wow the last time I was there I did I did

the half rooms no way yeah meze knees yeah really yeah I remember leaving

going oh they'll never gonna have me back [ __ ] I love that Club I know you do but that's your different experience

right you know for me it's like afterwards it's like you have white

dudes coming to me sorry yeah and then

you go and then you have to laugh sounds just like you Rudy don't laugh Rudy

don't [ __ ] laugh so here's what I here's what I would say I know that's got to be annoying we talked about it in the past yeah what I

think you should do is you should address it on stage you should make out you should say that you should go if any

of you [ __ ] idiots come up to me and do a bad Asian accent afterwards I'm gonna spit in your mouth I'm gonna spit

right in your face right I think you should talk I think you should make jokes about it about how annoying it is

when people do it then it'll wake people up a little bit to it oh you don't think so

like twos are your two teeth hurts yeah spike spike oh there we go

would you have any cavities cavities cavities yeah I have a mouth filled with

them how many eye cavities at seven or nine I don't know tell me have you ever had a root canal - yeah not only divert root canal I had

a cap I had a I had to redo it yeah uh one another dentists had to take it out redo it it was so [ __ ] bad

kalila hasn't that my girlfriend has never had a cow's it's so annoying it'd be good because she brushes no that's

not why I brush and I don't even like sweets that much it's it's genetics it's genetics dude I'm telling you it has I

talked to a dentist one time I said why do I keep getting cavities when I was in my teens I was like why and he goes dude it's just genetics he said your mom has

a lot of cavities weak Gina's teeth genetic weak teeth genetics each week we

teeth we keep genetic fine week T genetics yeah yeah yeah we could WT geez teeth genetics that's what I'm a it's a

weakness no it is by the end of our life we all our teeth are all gonna come out

anyway right everyone has shitty at the end of it all everyone has shitty teeth yeah because when I was cuz I have no teeth I have

only me no I'm not even kidding me eight to 19th in my mouth okay you've seen it

yeah it's insane it's insane I mean I'm gonna start losing more like my teeth are so [ __ ] up right so then

when I said well can you do the thing where they drill the UM you know I mean they drill the screw and you're the bone

down here and yeah screw in because you're weak gums they're that bad yeah

your gums are weak bro so you can't even get even if you want it well I think I I think maybe they've strengthened over

time what's it called veneers you can't get veneers can you yeah we're trying to get them but all of you on all across

because sometimes they look so no I like no I like it I like it when they look like that really like the mask we're like yeah yeah I

love that what you want yeah remember like when Pablo Francisco had like crack teeth yeah and then sometimes they look

so bad look look at how stupid that looks sometimes they look yeah yeah like

jo koy has that it just looks like this looks way more fun what the one-up of yeah this one above at least saying this

she looks like she parties yes yeah you can this girl this girl you can't take

to bed yes girl you could take out to the shed yeah you can't shed tooth yes

girl you gotta have another house you gotta have but the one above right if you wanna if you wanted a punk beat her up a little bit the teeth go real quick

this one it's some work on the bottom well cuz these are solid huh yes Mac around a little bit before yeah I mean

anyone notices you know Rudy do you have a nice seat smile let me see your teeth yeah you have nice teeth - twelve years

old of course he has either like bait they just grew in what does that mean most young kids have bad teeth unless they got braces did you have braces no

that's what you talking about oh did you have braces yeah you did yeah we had money okay we have money girl I

mean I had braces but at this point they're all jagged now you're white though they're nice and I chant out chips in them now yeah oh I just got an

email from a company saying they're gonna send us teeth whitener should we use them of course you do you want to do that I'm not afraid of that they think

about what teeth whiteners is because I sometimes I'll go and get white strips I can't use those right when you put them

on they hurt so but they they're so sensitive and afterwards I get and I'm real weird about that my teeth things

because I've had so much trouble with my teeth what else are you weak on your body shipstation as folks adapt to this

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friends there you go why called you you call me the other day about migraines yeah that's pretty weak you

want blonder ah aiya I went blind you want you just go blind in your ayah I go blind in one eye

ah that's a weakness I have ocular migraine right so you have weak teeth yo weak I know it's not my

eye it's my brain weak brain but yeah yeah you've got um is there like sibling

[ __ ] in your past like through your history a couple years ago Oh in the POE in the past pic is your mom and your dad

are they brothers and sisters or some of their cousins yeah they're cousins are they really yeah yeah Bob my parent my [ __ ]

parents are cousins yeah it wouldn't surprise me man because I'll tell you right now it surprised me if your family

was cousins to you guys all look the same at least we look different you guys are carbon copies you Mother's no way

there's no way Koreans aren't from incest you all look the same identical that's so [ __ ] right I don't look

anything like my mom you look exactly like your mother you know why huh because your listen what I going up when

people said that Asians people look alike no no not Asians Koreans Japanese I take a look different I see a lot of

different Japanese guys Koreans same really same so if you when I go down

Wilshire I just go same guy same guy same guy same guy same guy yeah the whole time so you're saying to me right

now then right now if I if John Cho was sitting here you wouldn't think that I go hey Bob good to see you and we'd

start the podcast now to finish it with him Margaret Cho same thing I go ahead pop what's up Bob you're dumb what's up

Bob no all the same you were Reds are the same you look just like Margaret Cho you look exactly like Jo you don't think

you look like Margaret Cho dude I'll tell you right now I tell me right now to stop right now because you just put

me into such a rage shut up Margaret Cho let's see what she looks like

I guarantee you that's you that's not you that is you Rudy's lambic that looks

just like the lake behind Rudy Rudy is a friend of ours I know you were the one

that brought it up you guys look alike no we don't yeah you do Gillis you're acting [ __ ] look at that spa right

there are you ready to let's switch get married off the [ __ ] screen let's

switch topics Rudy loves it no Rudy stop laughing Rudy Rudy laughs laughs laughs yeah it's Mother's Day by the way did

you lose your mommy happy birthday happy Mother's Day what are they right yeah yesterday yesterday was Mother's Day oh that's

right that's right it was Mother's Day so we put together a little video some of the fans sent in Mother's Day pictures we really appreciate it we want

to say thank you for that was your that was your yeah go ahead yeah you [ __ ]

piece of [ __ ] don't talk [ __ ] about my mom the hovel is what I like to call her yeah so this is a lot of the fans sent

in pictures of their mom and we put together a little something for Mother's Day let's enjoy it

is it our pitch pictures of our moms or it'sit's our fans MA our fans oh that's great

don't make fun of them by the way oh yeah you know it go hey girl I want to

take your mama out for date night make her feel all right give a conversation

till the day light cuz she is so damn tight I pick your mama up in a Ford Flex

that I borrowed from my last ex leave your purse mama cuz I got checks tonight

gonna be about mental sex we hit up TGI

Fridays take the scenic route forget the highways there's no such thing has my

way it's about you mama you my baby when

dinner's done take your ass straight home walk you to the front door so you're not alone kiss your hand and say

thanks for the love you shown get back in my car and then I'm gon show you

respect like the Queen you must be you never stutter always speaking directly

you ever need me mama you just text me until then you stay so damn sexy

happy Mother's Day mom happy Mother's Day mom Wow you would have been better is if we done

that video but you yep sticked it that lip sync well cuz at first when we were

playing the video I thought Andrew singing this live wow what a talent I

don't remember the lyrics I wrote him want to try it let's try one real quick by the way by the way I do want to say

this seriously some of the fans sent it a lot of fans send in pictures a mom beautiful mother and some of the fans mother's passed away and and it's a lot

some of these photos are of moms that are not with us anymore which I just want to say we appreciate you know Bob

knows about loss of a parent so it's cool that people included their moms that were gone it was a big deal I

thought it was very nice though there was very nice that's why the song is not disrespectful it's very respectful to the video okay yeah happy Mother's Day

mama beautiful women across the world showed a you know it go ahead

[Music] I wanna take your mama out for date night make her feel alright give a

conversation until the daylight cuz she is so damn tight I picked your runner up

in the Ford Flex that I borrowed from my last ex leave your purse mama cuz I got

a chance tonight gonna be about mental sex we hit up TGI Fridays take the

scenic route forget the highway did you

like it oh you clap for me rude oh thank you you feel better no no why not you don't

feel any better no you feel better I feel um because I don't know I honestly I think my mood

stems from I don't know what's what what's really what what what I don't know you know the country is like um

opening up you know you're scared no it's not just that it's like but we're kind of mad we in LA no we are

kind of kind of stuffs kind of starting to get on with it you know we don't know if it's too soon I don't know who to

believe right now you know you got you guys you guys got like guys like Eddie Bravo and Tripoli you know they're like

this is you know government control right there was a documentary called planned emic did you see it yeah yeah

about Falchi mm-hmm yeah and then you have they got debunked somebody said

that woman was uncredible yeah he really is but yeah but who knows who knows I don't know anything you

don't know why I'm not a scientist but but the thing is is that um but we do know that corona virus is still out

there prevalent it's not as if like cases are going down right we thought that you

know we're locked down because chicas

you know it's like you're one of those friends you're one of those friends

where you constantly ask why dude it's my it's my it's my weekend I want to

have a couple of drinks I haven't drank all week this is hard for you really no

it's just that I was to Todd described I was trying I'm not trying to be disrespectful have a drink and I said

that but I was like you don't ever care when I have a drink and I was making a point and you're I will you drink is

like so dramatic I just had a little just it was a little distracting I apologize yeah it's just like I eat them

in the hole I apologize I apologize yeah yeah okay are you gonna drive home what

you're driving home cuz your cars out there yeah okay

no that's it I'm not gonna have any more I wanted one little shot yeah so I anyway my back to my point yeah yeah it

is that I just I don't know you know

when like you know tomorrow like I was invited to stay David Spade

individuation yeah and I'm like I don't want to go you know I mean so when is it okay to go why

do you think it's not okay to go cuz I still have this thing is like I don't know where especially Theo von

where have you been mm-hmm the country where have you been hey man Abimelech

yeah you know spade I can you know Spade you know he never leaves that house do oh

you don't trust you don't trust the oh I think he's deals taking care of himself just fine yeah of course what do you mean CEO is

just a diligent as anybody do you think all the comics that have been taking care of themselves no I would say the

majority of them aren't given uh I think a lot of people don't give a [ __ ] like who doesn't give a [ __ ] I took to Andrew

Schultz on my podcast the other day he literally says he doesn't care at all he's not wearing a mask oh yeah he's a young man so what's the difference who

out here I think doesn't give a [ __ ] um daliyah D'Elia pretends like he cares

yeah but he doesn't at all I so he was out he was out at coffee bean drinking he brought his own coffee - coffee bean the other day we drinkin out

front yeah I see a lot of photos of him at cop he loves hanging out love these cops coffee get over it

yeah it's been around for a long time it's not that big [ __ ] Ziggler water no I think I think a lot of some people

don't get care I don't know look we're gonna get back to it golf courses and parks are gonna be open this weekend

well you know but um I mean at some point I don't know I look well here's my

thing if you've been if we let you go to

a liquor store or to get cigarettes or whatever and you just have to go one by one right six feet apart just like you

do at any corner store mmm why can't we do that for all the businesses and just do that across the board all the

mom-and-pop shops should have been open the whole time in my opinion they should just be regulated you should say you

can't have more than this many people for this many square feet how big is your store it's 400 square feet great

you can only have five people in there at once everyone has to wait in line outside but the problem with that is

that you in certain ching-chong countries like Korea Yeah right you can trust its citizens to follow the

rules mm-hmm but we have as Americans a different kind of freedom and liberty

and bravado yeah and you're gonna have those guys like [ __ ] it that was gonna

happen anyway that already was happening that's my point so it didn't that doesn't matter yeah so if that was gonna

happen then why not you and I saw what they do in Shanghai Disney they're gonna open up Shanghai Disney and everyone

gets temperature checked when you go in and then you have to have proof that you weren't around an infectious country or

region you have to have travel proof if you go to Shanghai Disney so that's oh they're gonna do to open up yeah

Disneyland in Asia is sounds crazy to me thirty million dollars a day they were losing 30 million dollars detail but

that you've none of those Ching chongs have eaten Mickey Mouse yet because he's protected he's protected Donald a duck

is not though oh don't know the duck I gotta eat a [ __ ] you got eaten first yes I think

look I I think um I'm I'm gonna obey the rules until they say that they think it's the most safe

that's all you can Det sit for you want to go over to spades and spades house and hang out with him and do that I

think when people do that that's up to the person that's on you hmm then you got a then you got a judge tip

I'm not ready yet no yeah that's what I'm not ready that's it if you're not ready don't do it mm-hmm you're ready to

come here with me you hear things like um it's gonna get worse in the fall yeah when it's mixed in with the flu

yeah number October November it's gonna get worse maybe yeah and then when that

happens here's my thing here's what I need let me say it all right go let me say this yeah this is that comedy fodder

by them this is not comedy at all most 99% of the stuff we do is a joke on here okay yeah it does we can be serious

sometimes but for the most part I don't mean any of it you don't look like Margaret Cho okay you don't I take that

back thank you but you look a little bit yeah

you look a little bit like Ken Jeong but you don't look like Margaret that [ __ ] Hey okay okay I'll say this do I

think it's real yeah it's scary it's [ __ ] up but there then there's a piece of me that goes well what can I do I can

only protect myself so much I have to still live there's 40 million residents in the state of California for 0:40

million right we've had about 2,200 deaths that's an extremely low number of people

that died it's a big state yeah 40 million people dude 2,200 deaths

yeah I'm not saying it's [ __ ] I'm just saying that's really low and at some point what do you want me to do hmm

what can I do so I'm not saying I don't want to live in fear I'm not storming

[ __ ] Manhattan Beach Town Hall but I am going I'm gonna do things as safely

as I can it's a difficult thing you're saying it's difficult it's like you know we've been coming here the whole time together I got 2,200 people is a low

number obviously in comparison to 40 million I don't discount there but I know but my

purse in my personal life you know and I don't want my mother to get sick right that's the problem that's the problem no

no that's what I'm saying I'm just saying the number is low enough where I feel a little bit less scared

than I used to I go okay we're gonna manage it I'm gonna do my best I'm gonna be safe stay safe do the right

but like cooping up in my house forever I can't that's I can't do that I mean I yeah I just got to be safe we can't go

around a lot of big crowds of people and dude we got to offer the other day you and I to do what to do it to do a tour

together again they want to they want to do dates again we were gonna do dates we got cancelled well they never even got

put up where do you want it where do you want to do them no no they are there's a bunch of offers well I don't want to talk about because I don't want people to get hope that it's good we're not

gonna be able to go just to rub it in yeah so we but we are gonna do date no

we are gonna do dates together they did offer us and Rudy Rudy's really some hand you're gonna come right yeah dude

can we take off that take off your left sandal real fast your left one and show it to that camera that's your camera

show to the camera yeah okay show the camera your sandal you show it show it

look at that thing I know if for some money Bob hears that's not what it is

her [ __ ] Filipino monkey feet her Filipino monkey feet only they can only

wear those oh right those are specific for the enemy they're made for her feet the ones

that truly haven't evolved that still have monkey features right right so

those are made out of bamboo and eucalyptus is that true really clip this bamboo way what did she say I can't even

understand her because she's speaking a different [ __ ] monkey Ling what did you say Moo Leo made it Julio who who's

Julio oh the dog chewed it yeah well whose fault is that

did you leave it out for him to chew okay yeah that's your fault it's your fault if it's a chew level it's gonna get

chewed how but that's how I feel around my house if something is low it's a chew level that's not the dog's fault right

you're in that to his territory yeah what's that show that you're watching get closer to the [ __ ] Mike you know

remote people normal people have you heard about is it good it's like here's

what that why they like it kalila and Jules like it because you can see like you know you can see the

pimples on their face and you can see their dicks and balls you can see their dicks and balls what is it what is this on its what are you watching it's doing

you to come over there it's it's agree and it's like you know very visceral

it's like you pimples pimples on their penises is that what you said I on the

penis face what a minute why do they show their penises what show he's a cheap they don't have makeup artists

wait why do they why do you see they're huge I don't like that you see their peanut their genitals why is that sex stuff

do you see vagina yeah yuck the lips let u k-- only like looking at penises

online and on movies and stuff yeah apparently it's like it's a show on Hulu it's called normal Pete what's it about

it's based on a book I already tell us what it's about tell you what it is the gist of it is I think is it's about

Irish young Irish love who I'm in know right and it's a I don't know much about

it but I think it's a girl who's not that popular right just back me up is it

based in Ireland yeah Irish love Oh young Irish love and then Oh Kathleen the popular guy in town Ryan

likes Ryan o'houlihan yeah what's his name no no that yeah

well the character's name Connor Oh Kanye in love with what's the

girl's name Mary Anne and they were so

the the popular guy Connor Colonel he he makes love to Mary Anne

oh yeah oh good god I hope they know what doesn't hear that I know what happens they have to cuz I can't I can't

see because she's ugly because she's a

for from what I've know what I'm she's pretty care so why does he keep it a secret because she's not popular you

don't want to [ __ ] a loser yeah cuz she doesn't use [ __ ] anything for her acne on her [ __ ] face idiot wait so

it so it's a high school it's a high school show in college this is too much

time jump for me [ __ ] me [ __ ] Jorge [ __ ] up Rudy be [ __ ] hard or what yeah yeah

yeah gross that's gross I don't like stuff like that spot speaking of shows that I'm annoyed

with right now I'm pissed off at 90 day fiancé cuz you did it on on Tiger belly with with fat with mayo head ed don't

call him that he's a new friend of mine Mayo head ed yeah I can't call him a o head ed you know it's a Mayo head I

understand that he's Mayo head up but could I tell you what his name are not your [ __ ] friend did I tell you what pisses me off forgot it he didn't even

know he was doing Tiger belly he comes on because he I guess he was doing some sort of press junket yeah right so he's

doing just a serious so then when he saw me he knew right the he's the one he

caught he said that I would who set it up with the press person with the

network with TLC TLC oh so he didn't even know no so you could hear the first

the publicist going and this is Margaret MC um so it is I don't know he is but

he'll be on a second you know I don't like taking a break so that when he sees me he doesn't read he remembers that he

told kalila good friend he's too close too good for me so that he was just like almost in shock like oh my god did you I

didn't like it yeah and usually listen to it yeah I didn't like it yeah I watched it I thought it was here's why I didn't like it why it was too hard I

don't buy this guy by the way I don't buy him I think this is all a big game

for him I don't think he's he was never in love with Rose I think it's I think it's a bit I think it's all exactly what it was yeah he's an actor it's a bit

yeah and by the way I don't like it I like when it's not a bit I like when those guys on reality shows the guy that

went to Serbia like night like seven years of dating that girl or wherever she was I love that guy that guy's my favorite guy lives in Vegas David Hayes

like she'll be there this answer the door he's like no one you ever leave here looking like this I loved it so

[ __ ] much yeah I just think I don't I don't like when I find out that these guys look if you're gonna be an actor on

a reality show as long as it's kind of publicized that way like the hills or what was the

Jersey Shore Jersey Shore like they all kind of wanted to be in entertainment so I'm fine with it so but so did Big Ed

Big Ed I think again was already I know but he always I think wanted to get famous that's why I don't like it that's

why I think it's [ __ ] so he lies yeah and he goes this route I don't like it right cheap it's cheap cheap cheap

changes is what drove me crazy as I looked at cameo on Instagram yeah we looked at you looked up his cameos yeah

yeah I did Elvis mm-hmm do you see that yeah yeah and you can tell that he but I

didn't tell him this when we interviewed on but I wanted to say is listen to me ad yeah it's up there it's only halfway

it's only 15 that's it and it's just

milk it going how much money do you get on cammy offer has um do you know how much they work no let's find out how

much bighead is on cameo it just upset me because I thought it was it wasn't as good as it could have been the whole thing I was like this is not it just I

just I wanted him to be real I wanted him to be in love with that Roche check you know yeah but you know he I have to

you have to admit though he was entertaining on the show only because she didn't like him at all yeah now that

we know his intentions it makes him unlikable here's rose right here let's see what Rose charges Rose

charges $54 things in personalized and

picked Americans and I take care and I

have a wonderful day love you or so I love on you you know I like her a lot

that's let's hire rosemary let's buy it right I'll buy her for more than that I like her let's buy a and just have her

send a video to us so here's what she's doing right now yeah so Brian Jonathan Justine and Ernie miss

mom Jennifer hi miss me Rose how are you

she needs some new words like Bobby Andrew you guys are getting married

because I like her yeah where's uh where's Mayo head ed what does that [ __ ] goon charge I'm

just being mean to him for some reason cuz I thought it was a good there yeah I thinks he's hot he's got someone's wrong $100 $100 you make my day let me make

yours okay let me send out a shout out to anybody you want I'm having a lot of

fun with this it's been a crazy ride it's gonna get a lot crazier it's about to be over but again much love much

appreciation and let's have some fun yeah yeah so hey I don't hate the guy I

just think the way that I I just didn't like the interaction on tiger belly at all yeah and I think the fan said that

would say the same it wasn't as good as I want it was no there was no it wasn't

your fault I'll tell you why because the TLC publicist there was like I want to push this but I can't you could have cuz

what's the worst that's gonna happen there did they pull it yeah you still have it on your side yeah but there was

a weird thing where I wanted him to like me why I don't know why he doesn't like you he doesn't like no he doesn't he

does he'll I can tell he doesn't respect me you don't respect him I don't but

that's the balance yeah he doesn't respect you because you don't respect him at all right he knows that so he

goes into there that's why he and by the way that's why he talked [ __ ] yeah that's that's why he talks how do we now

how do we do the rose thing we're gonna but you want to buy her right now yes pie right now okay let's do it so Rose Marie Vega yeah okay okay now

for $54 can we give a okay - to who - Bobby and Andrew do Bobby and Andrew and

just say from Rudy yeah from Rudy what's the occasion the kids wedding right

wedding wedding yeah okay and what why was is so silly like

congratulations should I spell it wrong on purpose yeah Hakan grad to ulation x'

to Andrew - Andrew and Bobby Bobby you

guys finally gonna it's okay yeah that gay marriage isn't legal in where are we

where's gay marriage illegal in what state yeah that's a Bosnia in Bosnia yeah it's okay that gamers in legal

Bosnia yeah because you because your love is more powerful than the law or

barbed wire fence then then they gotta say something difficult then yeah yeah

yeah your love is more powerful than bureaucratic I can't spell bureaucratic

it's okay I don't know how about there's bureaucratic systems yeah and yeah

unfathomable that's not very Devore unfathomable yeah high stringent

stringent fallible stringent stringent Trenton Heights Heights you both will

prevail gloriously and yeah one day your

adoption yeah of a Lithuanian baby will

come true yeah I love this thing during

quarantine this has saved my life you know I do the morning meltdown yeah you did the morning meltdown Bobby's trying

to get Jack using Beachbody on demand you can do online workouts look everyone is at home no one's gonna go to a gym

for a long time and these people are the ones that started p90x insanity and 21

day fix that's right so you could trout a host of their new workouts Bobby did morning meltdown 100 yeah it's gonna do

the ATD obsess gonna try it but that's a lot of days for me yeah they got a lot of great on the outside best trainers they get but they

have super trainers like Tony Horton Jojo Sriman Jericho McMath use and

autumn Calabrese autumn Calabrese s very from Italy best programs dude hundreds

of effective workouts all fitness levels whether you're a noob noob or your jacked like Bobby who's in the gym

literally eight days a week you you can find what you need on here you can work out with your schedule workouts shortest ten minutes which is a

little too long for Bob but even still you don't need any extra equipment you can do it all from 12 minutes a steal in

Fitness ok listeners a bad friends can try this absolutely free or free you can

get jacked in your house ok Bobby tried it he did good you did ok with the morning meltdown he did fine you did

fine we really want you to try to service out to see what you can do is if anybody gets in great shape send us in

the photos we'd love to see what you look like right now you can get a special free trial membership when you text bad friends to 30 30 30 that's 3 30

30 30 30 texts bad friends there you'll get full access to the entire platform for free all the workouts the nutrition

information and support totally for free again just text bad friends to 30 30 30

here you can you say it can you read that yeah rough the thing yeah can you read that there you can really

you can do it just look on the TV right there if you [ __ ] up ok so say that cuz it's all what its gonna sound like from it okay play up the accent will yeah

well you can't wear your [ __ ] get involved here Congrats to Andrew and Bobby said gay marriage isn't legal in

Bosnia cuz your love is more powerful than bureaucratic system stringent

Heights you will prevail glorious gloriously and one day adoption of this

Iranian baby will come true yeah why do we need to pay rose that was really goes better than public we're gonna book this

I'm gonna I can't put in my email and all that stuff now this is what we're gonna book and then next week we'll play the video from Rose so I can't wait I

think that's gonna be so fun yeah look that I I think I think the interview wasn't anybody's fault

I just think I was disappointed I was disappointed I wanted to be able to honestly I wanted to yeah yeah I mean I

you know in retrospect I regret I don't think that I prepared properly I think I was too nervous or I think that um

publicist threw me off and I I apologize to the fans that I should have I should have drilled them more and I yeah

there's nothing you can do when a publicist get involved it gets a little like - um - professional I mean there's

[ __ ] going on like this next Monday we're doing you know the David Spade movie yeah so the publicist for that

movie looks so funny by the way yeah I'm dead serious that's the one that remember the one line that I had oh

yeah that was that yeah that's that that movie looks so funny man concept is so

good yeah tell people what the concept is I didn't you don't know what the movies about at all I didn't seriously

idea have no idea what David Spade essentially is in this movie where he and he he thinks he's texting one girl

invites her on a on a second date to Hawaii and instead gets this other idiot

from his past in his phone who has the exact same name yeah it's Lauren lapkus right isn't it laughs and she shows up instead of this hot other chick that he

thinks it is this like supermodel yeah and lapkus shows up and she's like the girl from hell and she's crazy and not

at uh but of course it ends up turning out that you know she's she's just as good if not better than the original the

way it's fun but but bonus ly Shh but honestly I saw that concept and I go so

fun so current I hope it's really funny yeah cuz sometimes I seem comedy movies

now and I go with that concept doesn't even look good this concept looks hilarious you invite the wrong idiot on vacation yeah well it

first of all when I was there I was just like one line huh yeah it was speed

called me goes you have one line I told you this did I tell you what happened yeah we talked about it yeah but I just can't believe one line didn't let you

bang out anything else no one line what was lined welcome to some hotel that's

getting cut yeah if I was the editor I beg I I know and then also then and then

they're like can you have Lauren lapkus and Nick Swardson on your podcast or they're coming Monday together yeah no

that's good but you can't but I'm just saying now you got on the show before no never Nick's never done the show ever have you had Nick

yeah after Nick got sober he came on my show and we talked about what happened

to him in great depth Wow yeah great yeah and an emotional depth

like he you know he kind of got the eye Nick is a guy who's always been fun to party with but as a child of addiction

or around addiction I know when people were too much yes Swardson was one of those ones that

I always had in my prayers to be honest with I just wanted him to be okay love the first of all ever since I've been in

comedy he's always been the nicest coolest guy yet he's he you know you'd

be at the improv and he'd sneak up behind you and go hey you wanna [ __ ] yeah he's like one of those guys and you

go yeah you want to [ __ ] now you know I mean and you wouldn't simulate it you know me in front of everybody he's one

of those he's exactly my type of guy he's super fun super fun he used to have this um jeer every year he had this uh

birthday party at a roller skating rink hmm right and it was the greatest party

in human history because he would wear you know leotard and pink wings he right

Swartz an always committed yeah I mean he still always commits and then one night you know what happened why he canceled it right mm-hmm so he would

have this gigantic birthday party and you know he would charge five bucks whatever you know and he he would put

this five bucks all the money and there's like ten kind of candle thing and at 3:00 in the morning he was

walking to his car and some man just put

out a shotgun stuck into his face and took the money it wasn't a shotgun I had

a head i had a handgun i had a handgun but ya know yeah i I heard I heard a

variation of that I made I made somebody you made some of it I was filling out that I make things up out but it was

still good I lie a lot yeah yeah yeah what do you lie about the most

everything really yeah I think my whole life is a lie mm-hmm I

you found I think you found a very happy medium I think that I am yeah median median median means medium right

well here's what I do I embellish the story so so let's say suppose like I'm walking down the street in a homeless

man bumps me hey and that story will

then turn into you got no fish my oldest penis out right pissed on my leg right I tried to run he tripped me

and then he [ __ ] on my leg or whatever right it's always a disaster but you do

that course that's how come comedian's cuz in our mind all times but then it's like it's a lice it's a life based on

lies no I'll do that if I'm telling a story on stage that's what I'm referring to but if it's like no I say that like

in front of like like a friend of mine no that doesn't make sense to me that since I do it all drive know if that was

a story like most of my bits have come from a place where they become hyperbolized or grown into these bigger

bits where like this happened and then look at you don't you don't like on a

podcast you don't embellish stories no yeah but but for the most part they're really true like maybe I'll say yeah but

yours is that's more than sensationalism to be like I bumped into a homeless guy versus he pulled out his dick he pissed on me you know what I mean he opened his

butthole up and pulled out a little like an American flag yeah I need help that's no you don't need help you I do I can't

could no because that's not oh wait I want to I don't want to be that guy it's okay to make those bits on stage

Jim Bella sh bits for the sake of comedy that's this dude this is a comedy show it's fun yeah sometimes I met it like

azume a meeting oh that you should know but nobody listened and I'll be like people are

sharing deep [ __ ] right right so then they'll go my turn I go hi used to like

beat you just make up stuff because the guy before me just [ __ ] his whole

family died so what why can't you just be like hey that sucks about the family thing I'm I'm in good shape yeah because I saw that out of a meeting once where

it was so funny I laughed out loud yeah it was one of those a meeting I should I

[ __ ] it where everyone shares yeah right and you have to share and so one guy was like literally was

like um so my cancer came back and my doctor is giving me you know six weeks

you know or whatever Rhys I had and then literally the next it was hey and Tom I

sold the script I sold it guys did you

clap that's that's yeah I know and out with the just gonna just was hard yeah you know because you if I was the guy

was like I'm sorry man you know man yeah but that that's great yeah but I and this is me in the meat you know did

you talk to him afterwards no you could have got a line in that I know I should yeah but what you know what do you say

to a guy who has cancer I don't know what to say well I think that's the point of that guy saying I sold a script

ok you be the guy you you tell me that you had cancer and I'm a guy in the

meeting and I'm next ok yeah hi I'm Brady alcoholic hey Brady

so um guys you know um my cancer I went to the

doctor my cancers back and um and um you know that I'm a single father and six

children and I don't know what I'm gonna do about um my kids

that's my sure thank you my wife and I

just got the pressure cooker we ordered yesterday and I gotta tell you it cooks good meals

now you said there's nothing you can do before you forward yeah okay can I do

that can I shoot can I share something with you here let's do this there's a I had I wanna Andres we haven't used in a

long time and you know he's a little upset about it he wants us to call him on today's because he I guess I think he

missed he misses us a little bit you know mm-hm so we have to call Andres because he

wants to do a little video for us let me do it on FaceTime here

okay so today today today today's Bob Marley's death day he died today on this

very day and because of that Andreas is a massive our fancy B undress our house

resident fancy B is a massive Bob Marley fan and he he wants to do a tribute he

wants to sing a song he wants to do a Bob Marley tribute oh I like three little birds can he sing that I can ask

hi sweetheart hey como estas ustedes come sir como

estas como esta usted es good I can't here him oh my I don't know why he's not

in the headphones hold on one second sweetheart okay hey no here yeah okay good you're him now right Bob and your

headphones yeah I can hear him now so so it's Bob Marley's birthday I told my

Lee's death day right you love Bob Marley why I love la banda

yeah well he's just an inspiration for all of us you know plays that music and

smoke some weed and we feel all better wow I don't know you were such a big weed smoker yeah really are you high

right now yeah I needed a couple you know a couple of poops yeah that's how

they say in Spain they say proofs yeah you know I need to hit a couple of proof can I have a proof of that you imagine

what you're smoking weed can I have a poof i back why would you light them on fire it's gonna be all

blow you see boo bro could I have a poof I dad please no [ __ ] you bro come on man I need a pulse yeah so listen you like smoking

weed and listen to Bob what uh what are you gonna do as a tribute for Bob Marley's death day he died this very day

I thought you know do sing a little bit of a song for him and for all of you

like he probably my first and last performance ever no no you're gonna have many more so

Bobby Bobby likes the song three little birds can you bring that up and sing three little birds what about I stopped

the chariot no no I want you to sing a song that you didn't prepare he prepared

I shot the shared I shot the show like last night in the show can we hear a little bit of I shot the

sheriff for fun right now yeah let's hear a little bit right okay ready yeah

I shot the sheriff but I didn't shoot no

deputy oh no I shall be sharing love it yeah

but I didn't shoot no deputy woohoo all

around my hometown they're trying to

track me down they say to warn me bringing guilty for

the killing of a dead beauty very good course again for the life that is very

good it's real [ __ ] dope that's dope

Andres for you alright three little birds three little birds on your

computer he trying to what he doesn't

know that one is that's the best part of us but that's the best part song he's ever written you know my son you know my

favorite song is which one no woman no cry no no which one Redemption Song yeah

that's a good song I wish we could play some of it right now I know you know he died from Bob Marley died from foot

cancer aka the government right the [ __ ] government killed him I know they did why did they say foot kid like

they said melanoma skin cancer the punchau killed Bruce Lee Simon Cowell the American Idol guys know Simon Chou

the old Chinese he killed Bruce Lee and his son Brandon that's a fact

Brandon got shot from a blank bullet but it was a real bullet Simon chow yeah the common call did all

that stuff that Simon Cowell the British American Idol not the ex urgh I know Bruce Lee you know that good

no Simon tell the old Chinese producers a guy why did I enter the dragon all

that [ __ ] why didn't he like Bruce there was something I don't know what are you in the ocean yeah look like Echo Park

helicopter going by Wow okay go three little birds let's hear three little birds hey can

you guys give me a hand and tell me a little bit what the melodies like this is the best youth you you're huge Bob

Marley fans [ __ ] come on dude you're go Bob Marley Finn let's hear it okay don't

worry about it being cause every little thing gonna be all right perfect

don't worry about it being mean it's

gonna be all right it's not this is good it's not even

close keep going undress you're right there going man rise up in the morning

doesn't know Bob Wow with it rises on no three little birds pitch by my doorstep

okay can I teach you the best way to learn this to learn this song the melody is like the ABCs so it's done and done

so try that try that don't don't worry

about a thing cause every little thing gonna be all right

up higher swing again come on come on that's right let it go okay thinking

don't worry about a thing every little thing gonna be all right

yeah higher higher higher all right that's it

perfect okay very good you're a huge fan I told you yes a pot

head massive Bob Marley family this is the kind of guy what's all over your

shirt is that shipping instructions get back to where you're from [ __ ] no you know what it looks like

stigmata you know how like yeah this is a skin you know like when somebody's

possessed right they write a message through the skin help me that looks like

looks like a bunch of it's looks like the movie momento what is that shirt

really say I can't we can't read anything Oh something about love and father and life meanwhile if that was on

his walls in his bedroom you'd have to call like the cops makes that shirt is

that a fancy shirt and we just don't know yeah it's uh it's a brand called deathly wall from fame let's say what

advice all right elegant European style yeah all right you know what yeah you know who that is

Jesse wall I've never heard this designer before my luck yeah because we're real American yeah we're real American Eagle how much would that shirt

cost are you sure are you just trying to [ __ ] front on us is that an expensive shirt uh no just like normal retail it

may be a little pricier than your average like Farrah but not not like a

huge you know like how much like like 40 50 60 70 yeah 50 60 bucks mmm are we

paying him do we pay him money okay wasting every good job very good job

yeah say happy birthday I'm sorry he passed away on this very day long time ago I'm well yeah when you texted me you

said I'm a big Bob fan and I would like to sing a song good job on draw Thank

You Bobby yeah big hey why don't you why don't you say what you were gonna say to Bobby you told me you wanted to something you

what you wanted to say something to him he says well I write like last time we talked you guys told me that I should

practice a little bit my cloud ward and I wrote down here and on my stick you know like be as mean as you possibly can

alienate the audience and be really rude so I sort of like you know I I've been

practicing on that so let me let me try it give me give me 30 seconds he wants

to do stand-up you know he wants to see us he asked me he texts me he'll be better than George I tell you that he said can I open for you on the road he

wants to open for [ __ ] I hope

you guys didn't have anything better to do than to come to the serious Club like well like we said in my country the road

just like the pupal oh I hope you guys get diarrhea from the chicken wind

let's meet some of our audience members denied uh yeah let's start with a lucky jump look at the [ __ ] in the

corner very good like lobster head what

do you leave Hermione on horse or hooters if there is a pot at the end of

your rainbow it's it's yours bill we've done this in a welfare check no no no

but sorry sorry I'm a huge fan I'm you know you're one of my committee heroes

thank you for being here carrot top that's good I love you you know stop

going to the gym and went to the groomers instead but wow you look good

you look good with a little more weight true that gingers have no talent can I

call you me a nation with a mullet before that looks like you know the

circle looks like it's all business in the front end a stretch up in the back

Wow walking like Bill race a gun in the house you coming up to sing his hit song

hey key break the egg roll I don't know

sir you you you look like a NASCAR driver that will get into a lot of accidents

funny dude that's his voice by the way you did a great job those jokes that you roasted us for we're really good I think

some of the top ones where they say that gingers don't have talent so good so good good twist on souls yeah and the

best one for this the best one for this a [ __ ] that's a NASCAR it gets a lot of very good very funny man because you

you did the whole stereotype that we can't drive as well in there yeah it's real no no I think he actually it also

applies literally to you because you are a dog [ __ ] driver all right like a Prius

buddy's crash yes see look at that he's paying attention I'm still doing it on Andres honestly that can you do that

every week probably not but I'll try okay well we but have some for Rudy next

week okay bud okay so good I get tonight yes she is

too nice but she's talked [ __ ] about you she has tell him what you say about him tell them what you say you tell them

tell them what you call him yeah yeah

all right alright Andres we love you we'll see you later bud so good it's an

improvement honestly yeah oh [ __ ] now he's you know what stand up it's about finding your

voice and he found it yeah before it was like he didn't that political [ __ ] he was doing a solo fun

but that was very good the political stuff was really funny - yeah I think he's I think he's a very funny dude

I think that I can't wait for him to open for us while we're on the road but isn't she gonna go out - she would you

do stand up in front of thousands of people just Rudy I don't know yeah but

she what what I want her to do is sell the merch yeah we need merch yeah had you um do you think this is weird I just

literally yesterday released night well last week released tickets for a date in

October don't you think October is fine yeah I'm doing the Wilbur in Boston for the first time if any

our fans are in Boston come see me I played there once she loved it it was during a hurricane so in that big

theater I had not lying this is not an exaggeration nine people oh my god why didn't you

just not do the show I did it why would you just do why would you just say we have to cancel I would give back their mind people did you get you didn't get

paid no holy terrible and that's why I've never played I think they think I

can't draw or some course you could you I know I could kill it there but they yeah that's what happened Wow so you

gonna play the Wilbur that's great oh you should save that date for us the Wilbur yeah this was booked forever ago

and then I had to get in rescheduling do you you and me that was we put a triple sell it out yeah but we're gonna

do other event we're gonna do a bunch of other rounds by the way the thing about the will were that's gonna be incredible for me as I taped my half hour for

Comedy Central across the street at the Royal Theater and at the at the same time that I was there across the street

was fortunate phim ster playing the Wilbur Wow and I was like damn dude she's [ __ ] kill he's killing it she

was key and that's when I did my half hour that was I think it was I'm almost positive she was there she was coming at least but dude I just it was that was

thank you for being thank you for being a bad friend no yeah no thank you for

being a bad friend yeah thank you

we don't want to hear [ __ ] you're Wilbur Comedy Central story okay who

gives a [ __ ] my special there and then you know what fortune feature was across the street was great she's wonderful

she's doing great thank you for being a bad friend that's what happens when you ended it's like oh yeah I was playing

Philadelphia once I have a story too I was playing Philadelphia once and then like um Chappelle was across the street it was great thank you for being a bad

friend you know it's like what the [ __ ] oh yeah oh yeah you gotta tell us that

story uh let's write a script on it that's so exciting it is it's a new movie you show

up you know in Boston right all the cameras are set up and all of a

sudden you're doing the show and then [ __ ] fortunes on this across the street and that's the climax of the movie it's a big rain we could [ __ ]

get all cut Tom Hardy will be in it you know it's like why don't you learn how

to play tell a story friend huh there's gonna be a point yeah so anyway when you

did that when you [ __ ] did that in my head I was like emergency emergency

[ __ ] interviewed emergency chute right thank you for being a friend back

friend let's get the [ __ ] out of here you know it's ridiculous

and I know you had elapsed a lapse in thought and judgment and you thought

there's dead air here I'm gonna throw out this [ __ ] story that I think is a

story but it isn't so I you know you're allowed to make mistakes but that was a

dumb story and you're gonna get angry gonna you're gonna do what you'd usually

do right and snap and you can throw something or scream or good but let's

just let it go and let's just end the [ __ ] podcast thank you for being a

bad friend I think we should because if that's what your [ __ ] instinct is right now [ __ ] alright we're trying

to make this podcast a number one friend alright so just you know we might even have to cut that whole portion out what

do you think pal oh yeah you getting

rageful and angry you don't know what to do go within yourself dude a life not

self examined is a life not worth with living all right so just examine yourself you [ __ ] up and let's end the

podcast right now okay the mother day song was strong mother day strong very

good what what you gonna do let's move

on yeah look in the camera look in the camera thank you for me if you don't do this

you're gonna have a very big problem what go ahead

you thought that was a good story story

if I had that [ __ ] BB gun right now I would shoot you in the [ __ ] eye

friend all right so let's what get it

off your chest mm-hmm that's what I

thought

I'm good let's just get ended I'm sorry

I'm sorry is that what you want to hear I'm so sorry I should have done that yeah all

right so uh well I want to say that

number one you're a good stand up you're a very good storyteller and that I would also have to say that I think

you drive this podcast mm-hmm I think you prepare you have bits that we do on

the show I come here not prepared I have no idea what the [ __ ] I'm gonna say and

I should put a lot more energy into doing this this podcast and I'm gonna say that you're the foundation of this

thing and the reason why it's a success is because of you and I'm gonna thank you but that story was the worst driver ever

heard that potted Comedy Central thing and it was so [ __ ] dumb but other

than that you're the greatest I'm sorry thank you for being a bad friend can I

say this point is is that um I'm cute as [ __ ] but my point is is that yeah but my

point is is that my point is is that but my point is is there so my my point is this but my point though is is that my

point is is that I don't even know that's the thing thing is is that the thing is is that because the thing is is

that the thing is is that the thing is is that good thing is is that your thing is is that the truth is is that what amazed me is is that but was weird is is

that not only that is is that here's the thing is is that try my honest opinion is is that and especially this is is

that when I like about it is is that I'm the honest truth is that but the problem

is is that but what they don't get is is that so when I'm saying is that this is that this is that is is that is is that

is is that is is that is that is is that is is that is is that is is that is is that this is that I don't know what it

is it is that or what it is is this is that on the dealers is this that

you