We Hate Dolphins | Ep 163 | Bad Friends

hey bad friends we're gonna be in Durham then we're going to be in Charlotte and then we're doing our Texas run which is

San Antonio Houston Texas Dallas and Dallas Texas once we're done with Texas

we're going to the Pacific Northwest for Seattle and Portland and Spokane then we go to Arizona baby Phoenix go get those

tickets right now at badfriendspod.com right now bad Friends Pop badfriendspod.com right now um we'll see

you out on the road who are these two years

[Music] or something we're bad friends but

you've heard of the Moon what's the Moonies yeah what what are the movies I don't know what the Moonies are tell us

The Honeymooners The Honeymooners

no you don't know what the Moonies are no the show The Honeymooners I know with The Honeymooners it's a good show but

you know what my favorite one the black one The Jeffersons no the honey The

Honeymooners with Cedric Cedric the Entertainer they did the black Honeymooners no they did I swear to God

they did wait when years ago that's my favorite one with Mike Epps Mike Epps Cedric and who

who else is on who are the girls wow yeah oh we're watching this on the bus we

have to watch us on the bus we have to buy this on DVD and get another bus I thought already I saw it in 3D

yeah to the Moon Alice Alice yeah her name was an avatar I stayed in theater all

day that's it yeah just honey but the Moonies were um is a Korean Christian called let me see the Moonies the Korean

Christian the leader has a crown on that's made out of bullets I mean I'm in Moon is the man look at

this guy look at this guy a crown of bullets there's no bullets there Bobby what are you talking about was this a fever dream he looks like a Burger King

yeah he does yeah you know dude I think it's a fever dream can you imagine if he got all this

confidence while he was working at a Burger King I can rule the people

and they're like listen here Moon you just rule the grill okay you're not ruling anybody yeah that hat looks like

it's made out of paper yeah it does it's a paper crown yeah boy oh boy is that a metaphor how for a religion a paper

crown who yeah but anyway huge in America as well and that's um did you

any did you know any mooners no but I tried to burn down the Korean Church

hell yeah dude did I tell you about that that's always a good thing me and my cousin me and my cousin Andy right when

this is you know this is gonna sound like a lie but it's not okay and we um so we went to this Korean Church growing

up and um they one day my uncle caught me and Andy

opening up the trunk of our my mom's car and my dad had a gas you know spare gas

in there I was having it and a lighter and we're gonna burn down half of the [ __ ] shirts why would you do that we

hated it with nobody in it though I think so yeah oh my God I think so

yeah we were kids it's at the same time where I beat my grandmother with the stick oh yeah kid stuff yeah burn the

church beat the old lady kid stuff well she was paralyzed from McDonald's that's right yeah I mean what kind of

stuff did you guys get into as kids I guess now that I think about it we got in trouble for spray paint we got caught for like

graffiti yeah but that why would that wasn't burning down we didn't actually do it I think we were scared but we had

it I don't know you thought about you went through the action of getting the the K the gasoline though yeah that's a

big step well it's not as bad as like you know shooting up a place it's true hey look at me right that's

right so yeah just look at the bright side that's a bright side what did you do you weren't a bad kid no I would have

friends like Bobby that it'd be like so scared come on we'll just burn the church down

and be like please don't make me do it but here's why well here's why it's not that bad it's yours it's your own

religion you weren't gonna burn like it wasn't a hate crime because it's your own it's like you wanted to burn down

the thing that you were connected to because you were mad about it but not just that I was mad at the at the idea

that you know Korean parents view their children as trophies right so you know

you would hear like at a party uh my my daughter

right she's getting harbored by somebody no she's going to happen

she's going to Chabad Harvard Iran Harvard oh Harvard yeah

I'm so sorry I thought you were saying I'll do it again and I'll try to make it more go ahead uh my my daughter

she's going to Harvard

does that feel better that sounds great exactly yeah and then my dad would be like they would

imagine a conversation if they did that yeah yeah

she's gonna go through Dartmouth it's like a movie dub but they like

didn't have enough money yeah we only have enough money for Harvard

so then what they show each other off and the kids are trophies and my parents never do a consolation price what you

were at consolation prize yeah they would they would no I mean I think some Korean people thought I was dead because

you didn't get that was never talked about what about Steve he because he got straight A's he did oh yeah my brother

was my brother had Bible passages on his wall my my brother's room I swear to God

look like John Doe's room in seven yeah like a Red Cross

I just like it was weird he was fully he was fully in Christianity and then what

happens my brother lost state my brother was ranked like four in the

nation wow as a wrestler wow and he went to State and I remember he just dropped the ball and I remember him it just he

had there was so much expectation and pressure and he couldn't do it I mean he

was a great wrestler and I could that day I remember seeing a switch in his eye and then just became a pothead good

switch Yeah it's a pretty good switch yeah yeah did you so you didn't damage anything as a little kid um I remember being late like when we

had a curfew you know time out you remember being late well it was bad

because my mom was like be home at this time and I think it became like a habit like I just kept oh how late like hours like I would just disregard

any rules you're a bad bad girl Wednesday night midnight you come home no maybe like seven or eight but I was

in like fourth grade third or fourth grade what who are you what were you doing in third grade

riding my bike with my friend oh hell yeah we weren't doing nothing bad but I remember when I stopped because I came

home and my mom and sister set up the Christmas tree without me oh wow was that the that was the payback that's how

I would get punished it was like uh with guilt yeah did your parents ever give you the talk like what to do if like a

van pulls up two van guys

hey what's going on hey can you help us with this couch like lifting it don't

bring it into the she's like nine yeah what's she gonna do with this couch

because she's gonna lift it and put it in there you want some candy that's the that's the original one you ever saw

Silence of the land all right let's start over

hey you want some candy yeah we know your dad you want some candy it's no sugar

[Laughter]

you want it but you know my dad I know your dad yeah cliff

that's not his name that's his nickname it is yeah oh you guys must know him better than me yeah anyway

come in the van all right all right all right all right you would have done that

no no yeah yeah no but I remember one time we had this Lake by my house and I was hanging out with my friend there

Miranda she was bad influence and we were probably breaking the curfew and this guy was fishing in the lake which I

now that I look back is weird because I grew up in Tempe Arizona there's no fishing like there's no fish in the

Tempe Town Lake no Suburban yeah it's disgusting but he like gave me a frozen fish

what and I brought it home to my mom she was like we're not eating that oh really you can't you know this is a you can't

raise your kids in in Phoenix it's just you just can't you can't they I mean

lovely that you turned out so wonderful but man we either turn out like completely right wing yeah or Doug

Stanhope yeah or her or that she's like she's like uh you're like our Doug Stanhope you're what's it what's a

female you're like Debbie Stanhope you're like Debbie I remember when we moved from the suburbs I mean from the city to the suburbs

and I'll never forget they were like finishing up a plate like a window that

go that was above our front door like a little window above our front door you know and the kids I'm trying to visualize slow down yeah say it again

there was a window above our front door right that like oh I see so it's like let me look I'm looking at the door yeah

and then I look up yeah there's a what there's a little like is it like um it's it's big it's a good sized window it's a

and but for birds to people for birds to look in the house and a couple of kids

in the neighborhood threw a big rock through it and shattered it before we moved in like before we were even out

there and then we went to visit the house because the contractor was like kids broken and did a bunch of damage to the house wow and I remember I remember

being inside the living room and being so mad because I was like

I do this stuff you don't do this to me uh like I was a little [ __ ] I was

like oh this is like the universe paying me back for being a little troublemaker I was like ah I'm gonna find out who did

this I'm gonna kill those kids yeah I'm not kidding I was so mad because I was like they broke into my mom and dad's

new house because this was our first house like we would lived in an apartment until then oh in the city in the city yeah and then I was like they

[ __ ] up my mom's first house like oh she bought it well my my mom and my stepdad did but I was like this is the

first time she lived in a home did you invest yeah yeah I invested I think I put in like I need another details 30 or

40 yeah dogs yeah and uh and I remember trying to find out who

did it and then I found out who did it it was in the neighborhood let me guess I guess his name

starts with a B oh but Bartholomew that's right right that's a name right

Bartholomew Bartholomew J Simpson yeah good he did it and then the guys that I found out

that did that I became friends of course you did of course they were

the kids that got caught graffitiing with it was like as soon as I found out I was like you guys threw a rock through my mom's window and they were like yeah

we're just [ __ ] around I was like cool yeah it was such a puss I thought I was gonna

like fight these kids but then I was like I kind of like their Vibe yeah and they were like skateboarding and they were smoking and I was like I gotta hang

out with you were you angry kid or no I mean I think I always harbored a little bit of like uh

a little bit of anger I mean the fact that like it was a single mom for a while then she met my stepdad who was great did you like him at first or no no

I loved him he was the man from the beginning yeah I I thought he was so cool he played basketball I love basketball you know what I mean he he

was like he was a cool dude and was so cool to my mom so I loved him immediately because my dad wasn't around

so I was kind of I probably was upset a therapist would tell you I'm upset from my dad not being around but I was also

bummed because when we moved to the suburbs it was a weird thing it was like a yeah it just like shocked your core where you're like I don't like this I

don't know anybody I would sit around I hated that like I just didn't know you you it's hard to go out and make friends

when you're a little kid when you're the new kid and doesn't know I didn't know anything about I didn't like it yeah I

just didn't get it it's funny I there's a documentary called it was a book too it's called meet me in the bathroom we

and we've talked about it I talked about it with um JF last night you have you heard of it meet me in the bathroom no

no it's about um the um late 90s early 2000s music scene in

New York okay right and the stroke is INTERPOL TV on the radio all these bands

from Brooklyn Brooklyn and Manhattan and back then it's like they were just like all like just creative and crazy and on

subways you know what I mean and just you know just acting young and going young and fun and I just I always knew

that like when I grew up in the suburbs I go this is not the environment for me well yeah yeah no because because when I

look at those kids I'm like no that's what I would you know yeah I'll be doing that yeah you wanted to be a troubled

teen living in this expression and like you know I mean being like with like-minded people yeah I was with like

Christians and you know I mean and like weirdos I know Christians are great by the way I love them but Korean

Christians though moons moons are tough no but I just remember feeling like just

bummed out and I just didn't like it and then my freshman year of high school my this kid James tickle was the first kid

that I became friends with because he skated and he was good and he had a ramp in his but he had a little little quarter pipe in his basement yeah a

little mini no yeah mini in his basement and we did it we don't go down there and skate oh you're skater yeah it was yeah

when I was young wow did you like Bones Brigade and all that stuff I did I was like I loved I think like my favorite

teams for the longest time I always thought I always thought girl was awesome girls

are great yeah you know like Austin the girl chocolate crew I like those two I'm more Baker zero yeah yeah I like Toy

Machine I like Templeton I like those guys I thought they were cool yeah I I just honestly I never knew you knew

anything about skateboarding yeah yeah that I think that's a you know a commonality we have that is Tommy

Guerrero once was um in the or I mean Eric um Kevin Christie we went bananas yeah

because he was a big skate fan yeah yeah we went bananas like it was like Tom Cruise walking in or whatever that's

your Tom Cruise he's my Tom Cruise do you like his teeth Tom Cruise yeah

does he have new teeth no I just he's shooting a movie in space right now but he just bothering me I don't know what

it is are they too long he fixed them he fixed them yeah I don't remember when

he was a kid oh like 1981. you know when you join Scientology they give you new

teeth they do yeah they give you new teeth that was just that that that image on the left is fake that's a I'm

doctored his teeth are doctored for that role not what his teeth look like oh okay yeah no he had normal teeth I think

he just got braces they look like my teeth let me see your teeth look great yo great Keith I gotta

get good ortized dude I like your teeth I have so many chips and chunks and my teeth are so messed up I like it though

why didn't you get them fixed I I kind of don't give a [ __ ] yeah like have you ever leave her huh yeah yeah it's like a

vampire yeah yeah have you ever seen uh look at look at Will Ferrell's uh teeth you want to see fun teeth his bottom

teeth I always notice because you know your bottom teeth start to grow together yeah yeah look at look at those boxes

wow I love that dude Rocky Mountain High

is that the Appalachians whoa dude I've always noticed that he didn't do anything to the bottom teeth so mine are

gonna get that way well at least you know what dude at least at least bleach them no I think I think

let him go who cares yeah let me ask you something it's so funny he's so he's so cool and funny that it

doesn't matter it doesn't matter um no but but I do think I do want to get him done I do want to get something

done I've gone a few times I need to get him like I need to get certain ones fixed out because I have chips and all

my teeth over the years my chips look good though they're like a character trait I know but it looks bad on camera

who is that Anthony Davis Anthony Davis yeah before when he was a rookie yeah he

got him fixed though right of course yeah that's nuts but his eyebrow remains yes you got to keep you you got to keep

the unibrow oh yeah branding there's something about unibrows that for some reason it's like when you're a kid you

make fun of it and then you see it with an adult and you're like I kind of like it I don't know why interesting the Frida

Kahlo of it all I like it it's something cool it's like such his face yeah it looks cool I used

to shave between my eyebrows with a razor really when I was a kid mine would grow

in pretty heavily yeah yeah and which is funny because it doesn't grow in at all anymore like I pluck it sometimes you know like but rarely yeah but when I was

like in high school and my my the puberty was like at full mass and I was growing tons of facial hair I would have

to sh I would use a razor to shave in between my unibrow because I didn't know about plucking I was embarrassed to ask

my mom or dad about it so I would get a face razor and my mom was like why do

you want new face razors you don't even shape you don't even shave your face I'm like yes I do I trim it up

really yeah I used to stay between my eyes yeah those are those things when you're a kid like no one tells you so you're

not gonna ask anybody yet you're so self-conscious it's like I I was like Mom can I get Cavalry cheese

and then one day they just we were at Nordstrom's and she bought it and I was yeah because I just begged and begged

and I wore them for a year and I just never wore them again Nordstrom was nice your mom took you to Nordstrom you know

the break dancing pants oh yeah did you buy those no uh well you didn't break dance I did yeah yeah I did but I had to

use Adidas track pants we didn't have it like you dog yeah we

didn't go to [ __ ] Nordstrom's we went to we went to like Marshalls yeah Marshalls was like that's good no it's

not that was terrible oh we'd go to like uh what was the other one JCPenney no what was there's one more like with a K

like cold not Kohl's but there was another one I feel like there was one more that I can't remember the name of we'd go to Nordstrom something but my

mom would go to Nordstrom's when I know she needed something nice and if she went to Bloomingdale's downtown Chicago

I was like what that's she's I mean that's like would she buying a Ferrari in my mind I was like

Bloomingdale when she had the little brown bag yeah I was like whoa my mom bought something real nice from the store did you do um um before school

started you know at the end of summer did you go school shopping for clothes yeah we did my parents we did but I

would use it but see I didn't go to department stores much uh because I didn't like the clothes I wanted to go to like

uh a skate store or I would go to I'd go to like one store and buy all the stuff uh I wasn't good at I'm still to this

day I told you that story I went to I went to the I took out money because I was like I need jeans this is like two years ago and I was like you got to buy

new jeans dude you just gotta go get new jeans and I took out a thousand dollars cash or something like that I don't

remember how much I had I took out a bunch of cash and I was like you gotta just go get a couple pieces of clothing and I walked into the store and I saw

someone that I knew personally and I turned around and left really I immediately got in my car and

went home yeah I don't like why it just gives me a lot of anxiety so you don't go to you don't like going to the

dressing at the dressing room or whatever and do try things on that makes me so they come out from the mirror I always do like posts I know I really do

I do it like this this is one you know you know I do this I think because I kind of like I have this like I hate

myself a little bit when I shop because I don't want to I don't like you know if I'm I don't like the way my body feels

that day uh so I'm like a chick I'll like get in the mirror and be like [ __ ] these [ __ ] clothes [ __ ] this [ __ ] [ __ ] and I'll just leave I'll get

mad about it you're like an old school dad though I just have insecurities about clothes I don't like it I never

like so I don't like going to shopping it's not my thing it does I do not like to go to a store and be like I want this

and this and why'd you get the hat and what the [ __ ] happened what do you mean it's just a t-shirt from kith I ordered

it on the internet oh you did yeah and this cat was also bought online oh wow that's interesting to me I can't go into

a store I don't like going to stores and shopping it bothers me so I don't know what it is but it gives me like an uneasy feeling in my chat that's with

all like if you buy spoons [Laughter] drive me nuts what size am I getting to

what shape too big too small I don't know if these are going to be fit in the slot I'm being 100 serious are you being real this stuff like that drives me

crazy oh I love shopping for Spoons well you're a Spoonman I'm the spoon

doordash you know Andrew and I travel a lot a lot and you know sometimes we're

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getting what you want right to your door is incredible doordash grocery uh it saves all this hassle of getting in your car when you're in the middle of doing

10 other things and you have to go to the store and wait in line no thank you they will get it for you get exactly

what you want I get cat litter you do yeah yeah you do get for my cats for me for you just to roll around yeah and

that's not that big of a deal I actually just door dashed last week I did door Dash grocery delivery and I got myself

some veggies because I had the meat but I didn't have no veggies and I was like I don't want to go to the vegetable aisle I just get on doordash grocery

delivery and they'd bring it to you yeah when I go to Hawaii there's a tonkatsu restaurant that's only on doordash

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Awesome from bespoke Posts that's right one of my favorite things about getting a box of Awesome from bespoke post every month is how it sneaks up on you you

forget that it's coming and in one day boom on your front door you get the best box you'll open all my filled with carefully chosen gear from the best

small Brands around the world let's see what I got this month this is called the drift and in the drift I'm very excited

look at this got myself a looming light bulb flicker free sleep love it amazing the best part about these boxes they

surprise you it's it's like it's a Christmas every single day it's a joy and Hawkins Rumble facial scrub which

you and I both need because we're gonna break out on the bus tour my face is so uh yeah I need Scrubs also Hawkins and brimble send some daily energizing

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you're in the food too I like the carnivore the American barbecue rub in the carnivore box is made by the Great

American spice company in Rockford Michigan Rockford Michigan baby the Midwest so here's the deal not just for

you you can also get it for somebody else or you can be selfish and get it for yourself because it's awesome to have a box of awesome uh get 20 off your

first monthly box when you sign up at boxofawesome.com that's box of awesome.com enter the code bad friends at checkout that's box of awesome.com

and enter the code bad friends at checkout box of awesome.com enter the code bad friends today the only way I

like shopping uh is for somebody else uh I'm not playing I'm not I know that sounds like oh but no really like if I

have to buy her something love it because because then it's like I don't feel guilty about the money because it's

not for me and then also it's like I get to know that someone else gets is gonna enjoy it

you know what I mean for me it's my worry of the money why am I spending this money because I've always had that

because of my [ __ ] parents and then I'm like I don't need it it's a suit it's an insecurity I've always had I

don't know why but if if I had to buy you like a five thousand dollar gift I wouldn't even think twice about it I

literally would be like okay I'll buy it for Bob yeah because I just I've always had that weird thing in my mind where I'm like you don't deserve that you

don't need that but if it's for someone else I wouldn't even think twice about it yeah you know that that game you

playing Christmas where like everyone buys one thing you put in the big in the middle of the room a white elephant yeah white elephant yeah and they always say

well you know it's only a hundred dollar minimum oh yeah right I always buy a thousand do you know why because I want

somebody to go like who got me this [ __ ] computer yeah right and I'm like I don't know who would buy a MacBook Pro

with two terabytes with the new M2 Chip you are invited to our uh this year's

way though yeah yeah I love it and then you walk out of there with a new set of spoons no thanks no thank you are you like that

with stuff with shopping and stuff I love shopping you love it what do you love I like clothes I like clothes

Sunday and like especially clothes store on stage like but I feel like you like vintage stuff right don't you like

throwback [ __ ] thrift shopping yeah thrift shopping yeah and like independent like like I like going on Melrose because they're smaller Melrose

is all independent right that's all from stuff downtown so it's like cool stuff it's not like you know a bunch of

mass-produced like of the same shirt oh yeah like No One's Gonna have the thing that you're wearing yeah almost like

thrift store you like thrift stores yeah me too we should do a thing where we all pick a name out of a hat and we have to buy the person we picks outfit for the

day oh that's fun this is a game that people do on Tick Tock have you seen this where the a boyfriend and a girlfriend for the date for the night

well they'll go to Salvation Army or they'll go to a thrift store and they'll go to like the pants and the shirts and

there's something in the something and then they'll close their eyes and they run their hands down the line of their size like in the large or whatever and

and they close their eyes and the other person says stop and then they have to wear that shirt for the night and then they have to wear those pants okay let's

do that so we'll have to do that for one of the Cities we also have to do this we have to go to an old school Mall in the Midwest and go to some weird photography

studio and like go dress like from the 80s 100 we have to do that I'm so down on a day

off well no I think we should everybody does old school let's dress like we're from the Future Let's wear [ __ ] that doesn't exist but no we go to the thrift

store and pick up stuff that we think is going to be in the future I'm down let's do that I miss Maul so much me too did

you guys hang out in malls when you were a kid or no yeah when the Chandler Fashion oh that Fashion Mall when that

opened up yeah and we had UTC you know what UTC is you ever see Ferris now if you're uh do

you ever see um with Sean Penn oh Fast Times Fast Times at Ridgemont High it was based on that mall we had

that in San Diego UTC yeah that's like the mall there was the mall it's in La Jolla and then we had North County Fair

whoa it was the best back up and now we used to drop acid I'm just I you know when people drop acid they go let's go

into the nature not me I want to go to the mall oh my God that's like a nightmare that's what I like that's crazy yeah I like it's like everything's

Hellraiser everything yeah the spike guy yeah it's the best welcome to Pacific

somewhere can I help you yeah Spencer's Gifts went

off yeah you're a nature guy then when I do drugs like 100 hallucinogenic put me

to the sea put me by the water Put Me by Put Me by like uh mountain ranges I

don't I don't want to be near a bunch of humans when I'm on drugs no [ __ ] way dude I like it I want to ingest the

Earth because I'm taking the Earth in my body I want to see the Earth and feel it while I'm tripping I Love Actually one

time though me and my buddy Tyler mushrooms and went to a haunted house because we were like let's see how

[ __ ] up we could get and we were in line for this haunted house and we started tripping balls and the whole

time like I almost wanted to hold his hand I was freaking the [ __ ] out just in line to get in this because it was a haunted house in the middle of like corn

fields in like rural Illinois whoa oh it was so dope they turned like an old farmhouse into it they do this all the

time because Illinois once you get way way out you go two hours out it's [ __ ] nothingness you know yeah so we

drove out there and we ate the mushrooms on the way and tried to time it perfectly which we did and by the time we got there we're waiting in line and I

was having a full [ __ ] panic attack because I heard the noises coming from inside and then also people's

conversations it was like flowing over me through me so it sounded like a lot

of like the screams were behind me in line while I was waiting and these two chicks were in line with us and had been

you know somewhere in the same similar age range they seem maybe a little older than us and they were like are you guys scared and Tyler was like we're on

shrooms yeah this chick was like oh cool walk

with us we're scared and at first I was like I don't want to

be near other people I don't want to be near other people but she like held on to us like the girls would grab onto us

while we were walking into the house and it like like centered the [ __ ] out of me and for some reason I felt like I I was

so tripping I was like I'm her protector I have to be strong right you became a knight a knight a high night yeah so I

was ripped out of my head and I was holding her clothes and I was trying like every time something would jump out I would like Flinch a little bit and

then get real tight get out of here yeah I was so ripped wow and then after

the at the end of it I thought okay we made it through this thing like we made it through the haunted house I was like

these chicks are going to want to hang out with us and they're like later and they just got in their car and [ __ ] off and then we had to wait until we

calmed down to be able to drive home because I was still lit up so we had to like go to like the snack shop nearby

and just sit into the store huh is that an actual restaurant no it was like a little like a little like a little cafe

was next to it for like hot chocolate snack shop snack shop okay yeah uh it was no it was called snatch shop it was

a big vagina outside I don't know yeah and you had to hit the clip to get it yeah I love it and we just sat there and

watched people coming out of the haunted house for like an hour so we could like cool our high down before we drove home because I was ripped he was like can you

drive I'm like no dude no no things are moving yeah I couldn't do it we gotta go

to Hell House what is Hell House you know hell house right no no Hell House it's a it's a haunted um house I love

haunted houses in Texas run by Christians oh say no more and then you go to a room and it's like a woman like

getting an abortion whoa no and then a demon in back of them like someone will

play the devil and at the end of the [ __ ] haunted house you go in the room and they try to convert you there was a

documentary called Hell House is this just church what do you mean this is just church yeah but it's like there's

murder and there's scenes going on

yeah how close are we to Sugar Hill on our trip Cedar Hill Cedar Hill yeah but it's not it's not in October they only

do it in October oh they only do it it's a haunted house for Halloween oh for church yeah for church and people go and

it's like um well I guess it's worth the trip so we'll have to oh it's outside of Dallas yeah oh we gotta go yeah yeah

we'll be ready they still do it uh it says I mean I think it's Halloween only because it's so permanently closed dude

there should be around the year uh haunted house don't we think there should be haunted houses year round there should be at least one I mean

[ __ ] Halloween Town in Burbank stays open all year you could just wander into Walmart that's 100

If We Had A Haunted House we'd kill one person a year so you have that fear oh

yeah right if you kill one person a year if we had a haunted house people would be like dude we could die

died we're all from San Diego in this

scenario yeah well we could die the one from San Diego Ramon Feliz [ __ ] got

decapitated dude yeah dude this is [ __ ] awesome because I know I've never I've been on the 50 times

through this I never [ __ ] died dude never died yeah dude yeah I did so you know why is everybody from San Diego sound like that why does everybody sound

like that yeah who's from San Diego

[ __ ] satido dude [ __ ] it uh you [ __ ] are you just get you get a case

naughty light we can [ __ ] get lit up dude yeah that's exactly what he sounded like yeah or you go to a beach and you

in San Diego you can't go in the water because the locals the [ __ ] you up yeah my brother and I had boogie boards once

and we're at Wind and Sea super dude locals only you're like I am local no

you're from where are you from man Poway that's not local you have to be on that street whoa

oh they would [ __ ] you up that's awesome no it's not what do you mean that's awesome yes they do maybe yeah they do locals

only a dog yeah you would be that way you would 100 be that way if you lived in that part you would absolutely be

like locals only [ __ ] you would uh you would 100 be the guy that fought people that came into the local zones yeah we

all said yes everyone nodded off you're absolutely that guy you're 100 that guy that's true because it when I grew up

Inland oak tree and no one was allowed the people would look at the Oaks

locals only did like some kid would come up and be like I'm I'm from I'm from Playa and you're

like get the [ __ ] out of here yeah yeah trees there and fire bro right like I was very territorial over

that tree what did you guys have in high school that was like like we had we had the Enchanted Forest was like a little Forest like deep behind the high school

where people would like do drugs or get into fights or hook up and all that stuff do you guys have like a forest or a meet-up spot like that

no you didn't where did you go friends yeah yeah no I mean I was so it's such a

nerdy answer but it was just like the Arts Building no I know Denny's Denny's oh Denny's right ours was Taco Bell

really yeah everyone has like a restaurant or well we would go to Grandma's grandmas was an old restaurant

like an old Diner yeah oh my god oh we did a Burrito Express to be expressed

yeah my friend Jensen 16 years old we were actually talking about Jensen carp no just you said Jensen the other Jensen

room he was my best one of my best okay and roof um he great talented guy is he

dead no He's Alive where's he at La they'll call him up

he's mad at me why he's been mad at me for years what did you do because I won't call him back

interesting the reason why I won't call him back is because when I the last time I hooked up with him he still plays that game

and I don't like it don't say hooked up with him yeah that's not the right verbiage the last time I hung out with him oh yeah guys don't usually say hook

up with other guys we [ __ ] oh be more clear about it no um he does

this thing where like he'll touch me and run away how old is this man like he did that three years ago so how old is the man

now my age and he just touches you and leaves he giggles and then I have to touch him back he's playing tag it's

like whoever gets the last touch wins yeah so we're just running around a restaurant yeah and it's like I remember

the last time we did I was like I can't do this anymore no he's talented 47 years old running

around a restaurant right you can't use you can't use a table separate us we're arguing that way you

know what I mean and I just realized like I just I can't we did that as kids we still play the [ __ ] game why not

though we talked the other day about wanting to be more kitty-like you want to be like a kid and have fun and stop being so you know adult so let's do it

well maybe if it's more violent I would do it like tag with guns no no no no you're it no

no the ass or something all right yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I like that anyway when I was 16 Jensen we were at the

Denny's local Denny's and he saw a girl there uh Andrea okay

yeah mm-hmm and he goes she's hot and I go well introduce me when I'm into introduce himself they're still married

to this day no way yeah it's beautiful that's gorgeous yeah so he has Asperger's though for real no yeah he

does what is Asperger he likes what what's asperger's is a burger made

out of ass yeah it's a form of autism I know I've heard of it yeah I saw the show

you don't have old friends you grew up with like still do [ __ ] like brings up stories from when you were 14.

remember [ __ ] Andrew dude and he [ __ ] got his nut sack [ __ ] tied up in that [ __ ] branch

first of all love that story oh yeah remember that day you did that dude yeah yeah what do you mean when I connect with people that I grew up with we talk

about the times that we had together when we were younger that's what everybody does when you get older

That's Not Unusual there's one store there they always go remember to drink pee to me well that's because your

stories are hard to hear what I mean well because you have a lot of stories where it's like that like remember you know no that remember we all put stuff

in your butt and you cried all the way home and it was jellyfish jellyfish you know I was

in Hawaii at 16 and at jellyfish markings on my body yeah right and they

go you pee you have to let other people pee on you well I didn't know I drank it

[Laughter] you have to put it on the skin yeah yeah

but I went behind a tree I don't want anyone and I took a sip of it and I came back and I saw everyone putting it on

their body like you have to put on your body do you drink your own pee or somebody well yeah yeah yeah and then

they're like ah you're idiot you drink the pee and I'm like you've got to be specific you do though that's right that's actually their fault

yeah like you know Ben Gay for instance right on the Bengay things it doesn't say you don't put it on genitals they

should put that on there do you put it on your genitals have you tried it no it hurts so bad it doesn't seem like it

belongs there I know I tried it because isn't Ben Gay for your butt no banking for muscles yeah what's that guy for

your butt Preparation H that right that one's foreign

I'm down to do it everyone has to put it on each other then put it on yourself God damn it yeah

so anyway I don't like old stories well I don't understand it's a connection to your Youth and to your history but guys

sometimes guys do it every time you they see you I know because remember dude your stories are funny and embarrassing so they're funny to talk about let's

move on I understand yeah I drink to pee you know

what's so funny dude it's so funny that you didn't do it you didn't ask anybody you drank the P I got jellyfish pee

that's all they said urine dude your own urine really yeah I'm not doing it for you I went behind a tree you know what

honestly I'm on your team on this thank you so much here's why why because if some if you're like jellyfishing the world P it's got to be pee in your mind

you wouldn't go well I should piss on myself right how do you do that right you would never think that you're gonna well they gave me a cup

oh well then that was probably a tell that that do you drink it that you drink it yeah I see where your brain was

thinking that they give you a cup one of those red plastic yeah Solo Cup yeah and I pee and I'm like you think two years

ago I was like you get her solo cup and someone says Pete you either think we're playing a weird game of beer pong yeah

or I'm gonna drink my own piss yeah so I get it can I ask you another question about pee yeah

I'm being real and then we'll move on we can move on from it I'm saying we'll maybe I shouldn't even ask let's get

this one out of the way okay yeah why just why are you so uncomfortable about it no no I just

think uh pee pee poo poo we can get we'll have to get through at some point oh I mean we only talked about it for

two minutes yeah okay you know what I'm gonna save it for later no I want it right now okay really because because

when you pee it's all the same sorry like when you pee every time it's

like yellow and warm that's right right yeah but you drink all kinds of liquids it's interesting is it not that it comes

out like that one way right yeah yeah well the darker the Pea the worse it is it means you're more dehydrated no I

heard that there's more vitamins in your system but it depends it depends if you're flush with vitamins then it could

be a a brighter yellow I see but you're not if your personal Bobby Lee not humans if

your pee is coming out really dark yellow bad bad news okay yeah tell me if that happens

oh yeah what is that every time well it's dark okay and murky you know what

it reminds me of the water on Yoda's Planet [Laughter]

system let's look up the water on Yoda's Planet yeah that's what it looks like yeah

drink that water yeah yeah drink some water how many how much water do you drink during the day

honestly sometimes never during the day sometimes you'd never have a sip of of H2O

let's start let's do that now let's start doing that yeah that's good what does it do though it keeps you alive okay yeah it's the little funny man it's

the only thing fancy don't laugh at him General recommendations National Academy of Medicine suggests an adequate intake

of daily fluids about 13 cups and nine cups for healthy men and women 13 cups is repulsive that's so much

water 13 cups of water you seem to be drinking it all day you're supposed to be drinking it all day long but you can

live without it how long can you live without water it's only like three days three or four days three days and then your muscles atrophy and they drain

themselves and then you die yeah three days the body needs a lot of water to carry out essential functions

so three days dude okay you learned something new every day yeah something I think you'd know by now is

51. but sometimes I haven't gone around to it but I gotta tell you if you've lasted this long without drinking water

like there was a guy on one of those My Strange Addiction or whatever who only drank coke and never drank water but

isn't that a form of water water is in there yeah yeah but it's not a healthy amount you know it's there's a person

that only drank coke and so if I was on some sort of deserted [ __ ] planet and I only had Diet Coke exerted island or

planet planet so there's Diet Coke in outer space there's a vendor God Bless yeah yeah there's one of those machines

yeah there's just a Diet Coke machine that's just getting filled there's only also there needs to be a coin machine next to it can you imagine aliens are

like we have to give them Diet Coke but like if you're and and there's oxygen on this planet but it's deserted could you

not survive off of that as a liquid or no no well okay let's see growing by the

engine suggested diet soda consumption correlates with an increased risk of a wide range of medical conditions heart conditions heart attack high blood

pressure metabolic issues including diabetes obesity brain conditions dementia and stroke good okay I would

love a Diet Coke right now by the way yeah okay you're good I'm never gonna forget again no this is just in moderation it just means if you drink it

all the time let's move on this is no pumpy

[Laughter] how long do you think you could last in on a deserted island I keep watching

that nature show how long do you really think you could last genuinely on a deserted island a deserted island or a

forest no no no that's actually a very good question

yeah how about how about what kind of island is it how about this on a deserted part of the world right where

um where there is things to forage like there are there are berries because if you go to Canada and some of their

islands are like you know Big Trees they're way up North okay so how long would I survive yeah with the knowledge

I have now right now I think two weeks two weeks yeah that's really long that's a long time well I

know how to do water dude how what do you mean how what do

you mean I know how to do water I know how to make water how do you make water well you go to a river right and then

you dig a little hole next to the river the soil filters out all the bad stuff

and you drink the water from the hole that you made oh what I didn't know that that's true it's partially true it

doesn't mean it's not going to be it's not it doesn't mean bacteria can't because I don't have it like it'll be cleaner than if it's yeah but I I I

don't I don't know how to make a fire do you well I mean I know I know hypothetically

how to make a fire yeah I do too hypothetically but if I'm if I have no tools I'm on an island right I'm like I

I don't know what a flint looks like well I mean you could get anything up north it's very damp yeah I know the

damn very difficult yeah so it's like for me I'd be like no I would have to do that and I would try to eat like acorns

well you that's that you definitely can't eat why it's a nut I I know but how are you

going to get the acorn before they fall to the ground you're not gonna climb a tree fall from the tree like apples do uh but acorns you're not going to eat

acorns toxic to humans oh [ __ ] well then forget that forget the acorns one day berries

that would be berries yeah berries that's better but you wouldn't kill an animal I would try at the weekend yeah

but there's no way because even professionals have a hard time doing it they do yeah I agree so probably two weeks you know what I would do I'd know

how to get an animal by the way in the wild I would get on all fours and Spread spread my butt cheeks yeah and I would

do noises to try to get it I'm coming up

right right and then what do you do stab from behind imagine you think that you're

gonna catch an animal by doing a mating call and it comes up and starts having sex with you but you love it so much that you can't kill it

enter and you clinch your butthole so they're stuck yeah yeah yeah and they're trying to get away and

I don't know how what I would have well you'd fly yeah you'd have to use it well you'd have to use a jiu jitsu technique for sure all right this arm bar the bear

I'll call uh um with Eddie uh what's his name who Joe Rogan's got Eddie um Eddie

Bravo Eddie Bravo yeah yeah do I have a cell phone I have one cell phone yeah the bear has a phone yeah oh the

paradise yeah oh yeah it's T-Mobile yeah so it slips out of his pocket they have

pouches like kangaroos yeah sure yeah all right so I I grab it Eddie I think I

would call Eddie before the Coast Guard you gotta call him first yeah yeah yeah so here's the deal this is the situation

I I'm in yeah and now you've asked me for many many years to take her class I apologize for that my bad now help me

not help me yeah so I have a black bear right inserted

inside my anus an African-American bear yeah oh so my that's on my bad yeah

careful yeah yeah yeah I have an African-American right and it's like African-American Bears lives matter

I would say that just for the Optics of it well you should yeah yeah because they do right he's about to come

right but I've clinched it because you know Eddie I have a very tight ball no I don't I know that bro

yeah you know that right and so what do I do do I do do I try to grab his head and do a roll yeah I mean I mean what

what's your suggestion I think uh let him finish and then take him out for a meal

on like a in a in a Wilderness situation I'm not sure because I don't know a lot

of survival techniques but I think I have a high threshold for pain and I'm like one I could become like one with

nature pretty easy all right let's test the threshold can we can we fight you yeah I think we should do a bus fight

you wanna do bus boxing but you guys it's got to be like each person can call

it at any time in the trip yeah so you just yell boss fight boss fight boss fight could be two third two three in

the morning bus fight you gotta wake you up and you gotta fight yeah we'll [ __ ] you up man I'd love to I know he does

fight me all the time I always [ __ ] you up man I really want to see you guys fight no I would never hurt her I could

take both of you on at once I don't think you could I'd [ __ ] both of you guys up so bad

at the same time 100 there's no [ __ ] I would beat the [ __ ] [ __ ] out of you he'd get his nine iron no weapons at all

bare-handed these are my [ __ ] weapons yeah dude you against me and you doesn't matter whatever you guys try to concoct

I'll [ __ ] kill you you have no idea dude about my legs dude you little roly-poly I'll Eat You Alive no I have

dude a couple of [ __ ] these sandwiches to your [ __ ] stupid little face you're gone dude you're [ __ ] up

out cold I have Hrs herpes no

hit it [Laughter]

hidden

it's just RS you have just RS it's not hidden not even a little bit it's not hidden no

because you would focus on her I would sneak up behind you put you in a rear naked choke hold the naked part you love

the most yeah I don't like that it's called that they're you're not naked when you do it yeah do what the rear

naked choke just call it a rear choke hold yeah why isn't to be called naked I know this episode's gonna come out much later did you watch the fights yesterday

no this speech was [ __ ] awesome he grabbed the mic from from Rogan and look I'm not a big uh UFC guy I I don't

really watch it but on Tick Tock this speech was like going viral he's giving

himself props for being the [ __ ] but also because he didn't think Jesus yeah

he did oh he did he said I'm blessed to be able to do this again and again again a blessing is saying I'm thanking the

universe or something okay he's appreciating the world but the way he's saying it he's saying look at what I did but take from this that you can do

something yeah if you but you have to [ __ ] do it you gotta stop saying I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna I thought that

was so great I watched that like four or five times this morning in bed being like what a great [ __ ] message because he's not saying become a fighter

he's not saying do he's saying get out of your own [ __ ] way do the thing so you can feel this feeling of of of joy

and happiness at least once in your life yeah it's it's great inspiration dude it's

for me I'm dumb kinda yes what I'm agreed by the past what it wasn't

when I say that people no you have your say it again start again I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm dumb yes you are yes

you are buddy um I really you know I'm lazy you know that yeah yeah um I procrastinate yes

yeah the only thing that I've done right in my whole entire life this podcast

this podcast but it but this um it

stand up you know walking through the fear of going on stage and doing that

repeatedly is the only thing that I did right and it gave me such a big and

beautiful life right so it's like I mean I just love that speech it's the same thing right like you know we we have

that one thing where I was like I'm gonna try this scary thing and um that's all I've done and it worked it

worked oh it's working it's working and you know anyone out there it's like I know it's scary no it is you know what I

mean and it's like oh well only this amount of people make it or whatever you can't think that way just do whatever

you think you need to do you have to do it you have to do it yeah right juice that's how I felt after Vancouver that

is how you felt that moment of Happiness yeah and you're gonna feel it again and again and again let's go to Juicy's

Corner real fast and uh welcome back to Juicy's Corner we want to throw it to juice because she wants

to tell us something pretty important whenever you're ready so you go ahead thank you for being a bad friend no not

yet not yet we're not done I don't know the shortcut yeah she's trying to get

out of it huh I don't know what you're talking well no is that I know what you're he's talking about it's that inspiring because when we're in

Vancouver backstage you gave me that five minute inspirational talk about life and about you know I mean

connections do your let's hear your style Bender talk yeah I want to see yours because the fans the fans at home

want to know how did you get from 10K to 100K they think how did she do it let's give her a different sport though what

sport would it be rugby sure yeah you're you're a professional rugby player yes

you are for the you know um Los Feliz chip knocks the Chipmunks have been pretty good the last couple of years you

used to have season tickets yeah yeah didn't you into the chip Ducks I always uh sold them on seat geek though okay so your rugby team chip nut Captain right

and you're in the men's league wow yeah yeah controversy you just won the [ __ ] what controversial yeah yeah

I love it you just won the East LA provisional Championship two teams in it you and Echo Park yeah but you still

beat him right and there's like eight people in this you know audience but they're like they love it what sport is

it rugby rugby rugby yeah eight people in the crowd two of them are blind so I'm the I'm the I'm the Rogan you know I

mean guy yeah you grab the mic you know what I mean yeah hey let me just take this real quick will you give it back I

got the mic now shut up Hey listen I can't believe where I am at Los Feliz I

just won the rugby championship and I just want you guys to know that if you work hard and you meet somebody uh more

famous than you in the rugby Division and they will build your following 10 times and they will give you a platform

to shine and if you just practice your rugby skills and you get that platform

golf

no this is a rub that's a role people do that when they in rugby when you score everyone goes

yeah it's part of the celebration is it Cricket no it's just a part of the celebration yeah okay it's like saying

yes that's what it is I think I would know

yeah you would know don't ever question her again dude I'm sorry man don't ever

question her again Morgan and Morgan you guys I was just in a car accident a couple of months ago

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information go to forthepeople.com bad friends or dial pound law pound five two nine from your cell phone that's Four f

o r the people.com bad friends or pound law pound 529 from your cell this is a paid advertisement I will not go

downtown L.A anymore [ __ ] it [ __ ] it I'm tired of people being like it's getting better no it's not the last time I was

[ __ ] down there uh we were downtown and the riots were going on the protests and the riots you know and I pull into a

parking lot I'm going to do a comedy show and I pull into a parking lot and some black woman's like raise waving her

arms at me and I'm like oh am I not am I in there she's dancing she was just dancing no and then she's like this

she's like going like this and I was like what the [ __ ] is going on here's the roof that's what she's she was racing and I rolled down the window and

I was like I was like oh is are we not supposed to park in this lot because I was going to a show and she goes no man you know you got no

business being down here you better get the [ __ ] out of here now and I was like for real she's like don't you know what

the [ __ ] is going on I was like I'm going to perform at a show and she's like get the [ __ ] up out of here and I was like okay I took the advice and you

left yeah I didn't do the show you called the guy that hooked it and said yeah I said I'm not doing the show I'm not doing the [ __ ] because I she was

probably giving me a warning shot like dude [ __ ] up your car no they'll probably you'll get out of that car they're gonna kick your [ __ ] windows

in they'll go oh we saw some white red-headed you know some [ __ ] lollipop head ass [ __ ] get out

of this car and they would have busted up my [ __ ] because it was the wrong time wrong place so I was like [ __ ] this we're going home you do have that huge

Confederate flag in your window too I took it down it's on the hood Old Faithful what do you want me to do

dude what'd you go do with the Robert Elise uh little thing in front of your car the statue a little statue yeah oh

it's a bobble head it's on my front it sounds like yeah okay and in my horn it doesn't Hawk

but you still have the speakers and you're doing the Turner Diaries from it yeah oh that's cool I love your car

black people beware beware beware yeah no yeah yeah I have the speakers on the

roof it's great but yeah that was probably a dead giveaway for her uh uh to get me out of there it was actually

very nice I was very thankful I was like okay thanks I'm out [ __ ] this I'm not staying for that if there is a civil war

if there is a civil war you think we'll win again I'm going to Canada I'll tell you that really I'm not fighting in that

[ __ ] I'm not gonna fight I watch even you can't watch it they're gonna make you join they're gonna make you pick up a gun and join the the Civil War

if we have another civil war in America you gotta they're gonna make you fight everyone's gonna have to fight where

what would be my position sniper yeah it's probably a ninja

you share the gun yeah wow so I would have to fight you 100

would have to fight can I be in the back though like the last wave no they put you in first yeah me and the minority

shortest up front no it goes by height it's not skin color oh really well because it's like it's nice yeah because

it used to shape up 100 yeah and also the tall guys need to see the enemy and you would need to see them too you need

to be in front of the tall man yeah so you're up there bud but I would run like this you know what you know what I'm doing hmm bicycling

this is what I'm running like this you know what what I'm doing right there's a guy in front of me and my head's dark

and he's my shield

and then once in a while come on let's go all right

yeah what would you do in the Civil War what do you what side are you going to be on

first of all well this side I'm gonna be on you know they're gonna make me fight yeah you're gonna have to fight because

women are equal yeah they are now yeah you guys asked for all this I cannot wait till that breaks out yeah and women

are like do you guys want us to sew again and do that stuff and you're like no no no you want to be equal to you

gotta [ __ ] pick up a gat and you gotta get imagine that me uh Jesse Natasha legere

everyone that's short yeah who else is it Brad Williams you Brad Williams yeah yeah and we're just like we would lose

yeah oh that's right yeah yeah going to Vancouver dude

come on man wait up y'all ridiculous man wait no way but you know if we had a civil war

though it's like we have new members what are you talking about yeah what do you mean well I mean you know doing the

MS-13 what fight for us gang members yeah no no no you think they're more what leading what what do you mean what

what do you mean what what well finish what they're leaning what you think they're leaning right you think the South will get them no no first of all

it won't be divided north and south east west it's East West I knew that there was a new one right US versus New York

yeah oh for [ __ ] we're [ __ ] is Chicago east or west east they're East yeah who

do we get Boise [ __ ] I think we get Boise I think we get Albuquerque oh

Mexicans yeah but they're going they'll go back they wouldn't stick around yeah who else

do we have is Austin south or uh I mean East or West Texas is not going to be

included they're going to be their own little thing oh it's a four they're building a wall right now around Texas

to the United States not just Mexico they're building it all the way wow because they don't want to be with us at all wow they [ __ ] [ __ ] us they don't

like us but imagine if there was a north south east west War like a four-way Civil War like a bracket yeah

like I think we would lose the West Coast I don't know we got a shitload of

people we have a lot of people oh that's true but we have they're all like you know I mean techies and stuff liberals yeah but but but we will get a lot of

tech War we'll win Tech War right [ __ ] yeah dude we'll set that [ __ ] down right she got down your shut down your machine

we have Nanobots do we not have Nanos and Twitter no we don't Elon lives in Texas now yeah Twitter is theirs too

yeah Twitter's theirs also [ __ ] Twitter by the way every time I go on it now it sucks it's all a bunch of promoted ads I

don't even see people that I follow anymore I've opened it up a few times the last couple days and I shut it down immediately because I'm like I don't

follow any of these people I'm just getting pushed promoted ads promoted accounts I don't literally don't see who

I've I don't see anybody anymore so [ __ ] Twitter [ __ ] Twitter I'm out of it well I haven't been on Twitter it's still

stolen yeah yours well you've been selling MacBooks yeah yeah the amount of people that say they bought a Macbook

from your fake account I know scares me I know I think because those people get to vote yeah you're like you drive a car

and have a job and a family you bought a Macbook from a comedian you didn't see that that was obviously a hacked account yeah that scares me that scares me I

want a piece of it I mean it is my account well you did I mean you sold I think you saw like 95 MacBooks

you should get a piece I just reach out to the guy somehow and just like look dude you [ __ ] me over and I have it back yeah you should deserve it back

yeah you haven't had it in how many months almost a year it's crazy I'm not even kidding or maybe he can you can get

every other post yeah oh like share it it'll be like what TIG does doesn't TIG

do that with her Twitter she gives her Twitter up to other people I love her I can't believe that never backfired I thought for sure that would be be

hackable then because she would give it up to so many people yeah I thought some hacker would be able to like Loop in and steal it that's all right but it's never

been a problem but she just gives it out you know this right no she gives her Twitter account to people to do like a

residency for like a month what still yeah I don't know yeah I have no idea but she used to for years she did it for

years and years would you give me your Twitter account I'm so [ __ ] lutely not you turn into a Mac store

it's a nightmare yeah what part of hate group are you a part of

I I don't all right let's say let's start a hey group against people that show their

beliefs outwardly what kind of hate group could we we three start for real let's start a hey group of our own what

do we hate collectively like an animal what animal do you hate let's choose an animal that people love and we hate it

yes okay well what what do people love that dolphins dude [ __ ] them I'm not kidding yeah hate

them hate them hate them yeah cut it out what's that means yeah yeah we get it yeah and then

you're okay we get it all right

that's what they're saying and we get it

yeah you don't need a parade I was petting this dolphin one time in Mexico and he like popped his head up you know

and and literally like like you know they put them on the thing and I'm rubbing them softly and he pops his head

up and he goes you show me where the poppers are back under it was nice dude

it was so nice it's so crazy crossing the line man it was I was like I'm not

gonna give a dolphin drugs yeah nuts dude because do you ever see the documentary of the Cove yeah we talked

about it yeah I love it yeah but you know we should go against Dolphins is there a [ __ ] Dolphins group because we want to start because you don't like

dolphins either do you juice no I [ __ ] hate them I don't want to see any dolphins that are yeah yeah you know

what the worst thing too is if you meet a girl and they have a dolphin tattoo it's a [ __ ] red flag red flag red

flag red flag that and like a um Clover Leaf you know how you guys do it what are you talking about a four-leaf clover

yeah wrong with those a tattoo of it uh

it doesn't scare me as much as Dolphins but there's not a what if if a woman had a tattoo what kind of tattoo would turn

you off what kind of tattoo would turn me on well I'm not I'm not huge into face tattoos because I don't know if that's a

good I like your face right I don't know if I want to see tons of that but prove

me wrong maybe maybe I will later in life to meet someone I met that girl that had a bad friend tattoo on her leg Yeah but that's rad that's amazing it's

not on her leg that's not in her face yeah but she also colored Jersey and mine's completely empty with no color that's right why because yellow was

expensive ah orange is like the cheapest color oh yeah I see I see I see no uh what tattoo

would turn me off for real yeah actually that's not you know I take it back I go back because there I have seen some face tattoos that are like neck that bleed up

that are sexy as [ __ ] yeah I just don't like like a word on your face oh I don't like that like the word like I've seen it was really it's like uh what someone

has an eyebrow who's famous someone has like above their eyebrow it says something and it's like yeah Undisputed or something and I'm like why on your

face yeah a word art would be tight you know like like you know when like uh indigenous people or natives have face

tattoos that but but it's but it's symbolic that looks sexy and cool yeah that looks cool I just don't want a word

on my face like that yeah what does it say always tired what does post Malone say yeah always

tired yeah I don't I why why though it's a very silly choice and God bless so

much confidence too see the cross makes sense I don't mind the crowd the word is always tired as a it's a big what does

that say oh that's his address 673 East Apple Drive that's not bad one

on the above like below an eye and one on the forehead that's not bad can you imagine this guy cannot walk into a PC

store wow because I better get out like imagine if he finally wants to switch to an Android

and they're like I'm sorry man not with that [ __ ] [ __ ] on here yeah yeah but it's so funny when we were younger

and you met any hot chick they could have anything on their body the most offensive thing and you still

try to smash well right well also because when we were younger times were like tattoos were a little bit more it

was a little bit rare and the idea that like people these days everybody has tattoos and they have them all over right when we were kids

not a lot of people had this many tattoos oh my God and when you saw people with a bunch you were like whoa

that's so [ __ ] red they were like the rebels of the time now it's like no you'll be scared well they were yeah like in the early 80s if I was walking

on the street and some guy had any tattoo I'm like oh my God fight yeah no no it's like yo this is um Escape From

New York right I'm snake pliskin

love that movie do you have tattoos I forget you told me no I don't have any we're gonna get one on the road that's right we have to get the bad friends

tattoo because you're 100 000 followers I was thinking of getting like a cartoon juice box right on my neck and the straw

goes out to my mouth cool good idea you're gonna love it you're acting yeah

all right yeah you're gonna love that forever I want to make sure you guys supported it before can I tell you the funniest version of that that you could

actually get that no one will see have a juice box on your butt cheek and make the straw go into your ass

and no one will ever see that that's so funny that's so funny that's so good but you also what do you mean no one will

ever see well no one will ever see it unless you want them to see it I mean I'm saying

like No One's Gonna know you have that unless you show them you know what I'm gonna get then you have to paint the inside of your butthole like grape juice

though you have to do like you have to you have to stain already is like have you thought about getting a

tattoo I've thought about it a thousand times I have one I'm gonna do what on the road I'm gonna get a tattoo of a

penis on my penis of a bigger penis so dumb what what if you do black dick

what if you do blackface black [ __ ] oh that's true what if you just did a black dick and

and it changed the way you felt about yourself and you had a bigger dick immediately I mean it would swell up for sure

or you could even lie this is Gary Coleman's penis yeah this is Webster's penis all right

let's get a tattoo on the road then but you'll you'll get one yeah yeah but on the angle or something no another ankle

what am I a teenage boy in the ankle I mean it's like no I would get it some

I'd probably get you're not gonna want it because it's a nightmare when you act you act a lot you have to go in an hour

early it's a [ __ ] nightmare wait just get it on your wrist that's what I want to do on my right I think on my wrist no

no one will see right here much because your hands are like this time okay and then makeup cover this up will take three seconds yeah that's true so what

would I get what would you get it's your body I just want to write I want to I want like one polarizing word oh [ __ ] you

know so many except one puller right you know I know which one we'll say it on

the count three one yeah well don't do this yeah Jesus all right one two three freedom

I knew you were gonna I knew you bailed what I knew you're gonna betray that's why I said Freedom all right hey we're

on the road we're on the road right now right now right now this week we're going to Virginia Norfolk nor Folk

Virginia come on out and see us at the Chrysler Hall no association of Christ to the car company by the way yeah a lot

of people been asking about that maybe it is actually Norfolk Virginia and then the next day we're going to be in Durham

home of the Durham Bulls in North Carolina and one more North Carolina today they shot Bull Durham there they

shot Bulldog there yeah they shot him down then we go to Charlotte North Carolina after that so we go Norfolk Durham North Carolina Charlotte North

Carolina and then in the month of May San Antonio Texas baby we go to Texas

baby we're going to San Antonio two shows Houston then Irving which is Dallas people look where's it's in

Dallas it's between Fort Worth and Dal and Dallas it's Irving come see us uh and then we uh head back the West Coast

at that second week of May so for now though Norfolk Virginia North Carolina Durham and Charlotte please come say hi

guys come say hi to us in Texas we love you and you know we want to thank you for being

laughs [Music]