Santino Hits Bobby and Rudy’s Birthday! | Ep 39 | Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude i'm an asian dude you two

are disgusting oh you two or something we're bad friends welcome back to that what's up

welcome to bad friends welcome back to bad friends what's up how is everyone going

how's everyone doing are you okay well i had to disinfect the inside of the map yeah and now it's

really like chemically we got we got sent these masks and uh they're giving me a full on panic attack

yeah yeah well um you know when you make the slits as slantier than my slanty slits i think

it's pretty accurate i think it's pretty dead they slanted them out i think the accuracy is right on the money i could i only have

half vision i don't have half vision before but now i have like are my eyes okay no your your eye hole

isn't in the eyes i don't know what you're doing where's my eyes is this my nose yeah my eyes are in the right place

we are you can see me yes are you fine can you see me i could barely i could

totally see you you can yeah just look through the mouth you could you look to the mouth if you can't see much

all right i'm taking this off it's creeping me out it's creeping me out so much it is it's like looking at you with that

is grossing me and creeping me out oh you're just crazy yeah

all right thank you oh for the masks yo bad friends welcome

back thank you so much for the masks uh gianna and keenan very cool of that diana and keenan guys

it's dead on almost fear fuel masks at fear fuel mass oh so it's a it's a

it's a company that makes masks yeah fear fuel masks so you could just send in your photo and they'll make

masks i hope so i don't know they just did that for us as a gift i think i don't know how they got my [ __ ] cheeks right

just just the right amount of sugar and spice and everything nice no i'm just saying honestly how from a photo can you get

the cheeks uh because i think that i think you have a very specific type of cheek

they're i'm treading lightly here yeah well well

it's just very specific your type of cheek yeah your wallets your cheeks kind of

they look like um [Music] uh about you know um bow bow yeah you

know bao the food yeah yeah it looks like foul yeah it has the same kind of uh perfect

little plumpness to it well i know there's some liquid in there there might be some meat yeah but i do know that there's liquid inside of there yeah you're a little

dumpling your face is dumpling cheeks pull up your mask yeah

this is my mask yeah yeah i don't understand how they got you know what i have sugar in my hair yeah you know what rat leather is

rat leather yes is it with your mom is it which your mom uses to make your clothes when you were a kid no rat leather is similar to the

stankiness of um your mom's vagina okay i mean you started with money with

my mom you always say about me you really hurt me just now no i didn't yeah you did you

hit my eye you always say disgusting stuff about my mind i just attacked my mind i knew when you said rat leather you were coming

after my mom i knew it no your skin but then you turned into a mom fight and then all of a sudden i had to go there

i'm sorry i have to win okay i'm sorry why do we why do you you guys why do you

mad guys resort to violence all the time because you people don't understand

why do you resort to violence i had to throw this at you because the mom stuff it's enough i love your mom bobby i do

bobby she's my favorite bobby you know what if i ever see your mom you

know bobby you know what i'm gonna do bobby i want to buy your candles whoa what's so [ __ ] cause i'm gonna

buy her candles yeah i'm waiting okay i'm gonna buy her a burke williams

right she doesn't go to that spa gift certificate fine but if they have one in chicago no

no i'm sure they do yeah i'll get her one okay i'm gonna get our 500 pass okay so they do seaweed wrap right mm-hmm

steam all that stuff yeah yeah yeah and then i'm gonna set i'm gonna send her to um

are you gonna get violent no you're not gonna get violent no i'm gonna stay i'm gonna also uh have

her go on a day trip into the stables

horse you want to see your head busted open for real are you i'm [ __ ] i know but i'll do

it because i i'll do it okay forget the stables the horseback riding okay why weren't you so angry about that i

didn't sleep last night i didn't either that well i had nightmares why all night long why vince vaughn was in my nightmare i love

him i'm not kidding big fan he was chasing me he he does that he was chasing me and yelling at me yeah

all i really wanted to do was start this episode on a good foot with the masks we did and say thank you and also today

yeah is rudy's birthday's birthday

happy birthday to you happy birthday

[Music]

to [Music]

thank you how old are you 19.

no we did it oh man all right so hold on do you i don't know do you guys make wishes in the philippines yeah

okay do you blow all your candles and do the same thing yeah the philippines all right so um i don't know i don't

know what they do over there i don't know if they hit a squirrel for good luck i don't know all right so close your eyes and make a nice wish that you

really really mean yeah okay okay we're gonna look the other way because we don't want to jinx it go ahead

but wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait one second before yeah before you do yeah if you don't blow out all the candles

candles in one try i can't i can't tell you i'm telling you right now the wish doesn't come through yeah no george will die

oh don't blow them all out yeah yeah george will will die if you can't blow him out in one swift then george dies and you don't

get your wish yeah oh wait what if that's her wish that could be whoa all right all right all right dude

that's heavy so either way i guess it's a win-win yeah so ready okay

oh what did you wish for what would you wish for um don't tell us

that ruin you can't tell you asked me yes you never you never tell that's the rule

yeah it wasn't it wasn't the right wish so it's fine all right wait wait let's

okay what was the fake wish then for anime stuff yeah well tito andrew and bobby no just me

i got you a gift and bobby here no bobby bobby had literally nothing to do with this and you know it and you know what and you know what they're doing

well who's on the cover of the package show the camp show your camera who's on the cover brood puncher hunter hunter hunter

you still like them right i sound like an uncle you still like those guys right

uh if the bow is too tight we can scissors it we can just cut that oh there it is all right so what's inside the bag i'm excited

what is it what do we got a few gifts a few gifts start off with hunter hunter

face masks wow that's cool very cool very cool very cool and hisoka's on

there and then what is that are they numb chucks it's funny she never knows how to get

close to the mic but she'll hit it with all the stuff to make it loud it's insane what is this bobby guess

numchucks which is a good guess yeah chopsticks could be even better guess oh a scroll a scroll that's cool show the camera so

they can sort of hunter hunter hunter it's like a i don't know what do you call that a little banner i figured you could hang it up right

there we could hang it up at your desk yeah yeah maybe over george's face and then

last but not least i got you two oh thank you

so no you know wait so there's two of those the redheaded one looks like me and then

who's the other guy do you know these guys are from the volleyball show what's it called yeah i know i knew that when i ordered

it you did thai cute did you order it or did you go to tokyo town today i went to i went to tokyo town today and

it's unbelievable i went to little tokyo today and i was me and my wife were so excited to get you gifts today and the

anime store was so funny andrew bob it is so annoying that i ordered that [ __ ]

three weeks ago yeah online and then you're [ __ ] claiming it shout out to the anime store

downtown how cool is that jules you know that jules you know that he did not go to [ __ ] japan town

today i think he did yeah i definitely did i went to tokyo i went to little tokyo today unbelievable and by the way i forgot how

good the food is that the like what did you get down there what do you think i got down there ramen sush

oh sushi rum did you go to what hamas no ham was good though they were closed oh

pandy the doors were closed uh was i don't understand what like half the restaurants were open and half weren't

open yeah really kind of broke my heart yeah but anyway so what are the names of those two guys because i don't i don't even

know this is kagiyama to tell her to get yeah and then and this is hinata

you just listen uh honestly you're 19 now yeah happy birthday right i think that

you know when you were 18 i thought you know i'm not gonna really um be so hard on her yeah in

terms of just doing simple things right like taking talking to a mic right right right right 19 is enough so see

listen okay yeah look at my finger okay your mouth should be in this

distance yeah right on it right on it okay all right so tell us who it is yeah this one is kagiyama

he's the setter uh-huh for the volleyball is he your favorite who's your favorite this one oh the one that looks like me

kageyama literally pull up a cocky army again wait there's a little stand for him it sits upright in the little thing you don't have to do it right now but you

see how there's a plastic thing yeah and then so that's kageyama who's the other man hinata and what is he on the team he's

the middle blocker oh that's what i was yeah so that's looks like me and andrew um yeah in the

show um the asian one the one with the dark hair they're all asian the redheaded one is

asian too i've got i've got way more flavor than you know dude yeah really i ran my uh i ran my uh 21 of me

or whatever it is 40 48 and me yeah yeah 889 to me 69 to me yeah guess what what

16 irish i'm barely irish i thought i was a lot 12 nigerian 6

korean 48 moldovian

i'm korean dude you're not korean man i am i'll show you the 86 in me no i'll prove

it a korean person's penis isn't translucent it's the same size as a korean person's

feelings i know but yours is like the those it's a jellyfish it's glowing you can see right through it

some some people like it because then you can see what's going on inside of it i don't need to know i don't need to be in science class when i'm sucking your

dick you mean i want all that stuff sheathed

yeah you want a sheath yeah yeah i got it so hi so happy birthday rude thank you andrew yes you love it yes

well i'm happy that you like i i actually i'm you know what i said to the to the girl there what this is actually

annoying i asked the guy i said hey i'm looking i said for my niece i said i'm looking

for my niece for a gift she loves hunter hunter and and she loves hisoka and and

the guy there goes oh i don't think we have any hisoka stuff left and then the girl says oh your niece

loves hisoka yeah and then she shows me those things then she goes does she like what's the volleyball show

hi cue does she like haikyuu i go you bet she does no idea was praying i was like

really i was like please be please like haiku yeah and then she said which which of the five figures the five main people

do you like or six main people do you like yeah and i picked the redhead because of me and the other one because he looks a

little bit like you right and the girl goes oh those are very popular characters so i we picked right the other guys

aren't as popular right huh yeah but i still love them do you like them anyway who's your honestly is your favorite one in there

or no he's my favorite that guy is the redheaded one it's [ __ ] crazy it's amazing that's

amazing it's crazy um so happy birthday rude thank you back to you for real

i didn't sleep last night and i know you haven't been sleeping yeah uh dreams no just nightmares dude

yeah crazy nightmares but like they're not consistent one thing is something and then it moves

to another part then it moves to another part and i tried to look him up and my aunt had one of these friends that used to read dreams

yeah i sent her an email and you know it's like yeah it's so funny they say that um

nightmares and dreams are only seven seconds long or something and the rest of your sleep is just you

don't i don't know but like i've had like voyages like meditations in my dreams how are those only seven seconds long

some of them i can plan out like i was in the house the other night yeah i could i could tell you room to room almost precisely what was going on in

each room and like i remember walking up the stairs and it's probably because it reminds me of my old friend matt's house they had one of those

landings you know a stair that has a landing it looks down into the house yeah and i remember how creepy it looked and someone was yelling

i could really like map it out seven seconds seems way too short yeah and then you'll have dreams you'll

somebody will appear in your dream have a cameo that you've never thought about in 30 years why was vince vaughn in my dream

vince vaughn yeah it's like i'll i'll be dreaming and i'm like craig right craig robinson no he's like

crawford craig crawford my friend from middle school and he just popped in he should be in the closet like cooking something

he's like beef stew yeah and i'll be like what are you doing here craig but they don't really talk for some reason i know they don't answer them any

lines but he's definitely in the show you know what i mean that's the best i think he's like he's background

he's background but still it's like why would it and it's like um you'll also um people that you don't

like will be your friend in it that well that's i hate that when you like are getting along with your enemies

oh right in your dreams yeah that creeps me out i don't like it kevin shay what are we skiing for

you hear me and kevin's like you know come on down down the slope there'll be those hot

chocolate down there all right kevin meanwhile if i was a conscious yeah i would kill him yeah yeah but you get

down there he's he got hot chocolate for you by the way laughing and you know when you go to drink the hot a cup of hot chocolate it's it's eric griffin it's just melted

in there and then we do the hot dog thing where we're like biting each end and we bite and we kiss at the end i mean

it's like why didn't my dreams do that i don't know maybe maybe it's did my self-conscious telling me to make up with him

no no it's that you've thought about him in a past certain amount of time yeah but why are we skiing together

because it's a metaphor for something you know what's so annoying about def jam none of them were deaf not one of those black comics was deaf

and i wanted him to put on one def one deaf black comic you know great to

be here can you say great to be here on a deaf comic show great to be here

great to be here that's your first joke but they still do great to be honest they still do they they still do the uh the the material

right black people birds are much higher up than white people's

butt right yeah like they say

[ __ ] be crazy

we're meeting so look i've got you a meeting with a a sleep expert because

look the internet the fans are worried so i've got you a meeting with a sleep expert ladies and gentlemen this is doc this is

dr jay corsandi he is a uh he is an expert in all things helping bobby

with his sleep troubles yeah so dr cassandi why don't you uh take it from here

because we're worried about bob's doctor i um i just i have to say

that i'm not worried about it and everyone's like being crazy around me yeah i'm fine with

it i've always slept the way i've slept um i have um when i sleep my my

girlfriend records me when i sleep and you should see that it's crazy what

i do i'll go like this when i'm sleeping oh gross as if it's already not hard to

date i know i know but i make that noise when i'm sleeping and and she records me yeah right and whenever i see it i laugh because i

go what the [ __ ] am i doing why do i do that you know when i'm asleep is that a sign of anything dr khasandi is that a is

that yeah so so when he says am i eating [ __ ] i just feel like i'm eating [ __ ] in the

dream you should do it more in real life so so you know i see a lot of patients are coming especially guys

and they say you know it's not a problem it doesn't bother me it bothers somebody else so in some ways it could be indirectly

bothering you because uh the girlfriend could be suffering from this she is yeah trust me she is she is

suffering but why am i making that right yeah so that's called mouth breathing and uh um do you wake up with the dry

mouth or do you have water by the bed or any of that going on

well here's the thing i don't i try not to drink water a lot of water before i go to bed because yeah i was gonna say are you

doing this a lot of bathrooms at night as well okay so here's the thing and you you

know i would say you probably do want to be a little bit worried about this because most of my patients i'd say 90 or guys 40 to 50.

and i think you fall on that demographic as well what happened yeah when you turn 40 well

pause and what's happening is we're getting a big testosterone drop typically there's a partner or spouse

involved sometimes kids you know family work stress life and then weight tends to start creeping up

and what happens is that constricts the airway and that's what i specialize in those what's called airway management or

sleep disorder breathing so snoring and sleep apnea and as you start to develop more snoring and sleep apnea

that's when the health concerns are going to start spiking you know things like elevated blood pressure type 2 diabetes

i know you guys are a little bit more degenerate on this show so we could talk about uh libido loss a lot of guys come in and

say they can't get it up as much anymore they're taking viagra stuff like that so so these are bombs well you know i used

to be a [ __ ] machine um in a rabbit time usa 2020

all day long you know it's a drill i used to go like a like and now you're going nowhere else but hands-free

hands-free now it's like um sloth style it's it's uh it takes me about 45

minutes to an hour to get in the hole you know what i mean and then when i'm in there it's like it's just like

you know i don't even go up and down anymore i go like a hula hoop yeah it goes around and around and around around and i do it real slow

and then i just go i then last night well sorry for saying this jules but no put your fingers in your ears put your fingers in your ears last night

um if you can i made love to kalila and um i just said i just whispered in her ear i go

i'm just gonna lay on my back oh and she goes you want me to do all the work i got

everything all right so i laid on my back and she's just you know i mean does you know does her deo right yeah

and then

your mouth breathing uh that's a dry mouth that kind of that sound that you make and that you know

those are all going to cause sleep loss for you and and research has shown that partners of

people who snore on average lose an hour of sleep at night and then but but is also is there death stuff involved i wanted to really scare

him with you like uh can he die yeah can he have a stroke can you have a heart attack like because what i have to let you know is

like he's a reckless human being four times like the hood of a stroke uh those are the two biggest ones

if you make it long enough then you're looking at what's called neurocognitive decline which is alzheimer's dementia no capacity function loss so so these

things tend to slow down and the reason this stuff happens is because poor sleep is an inflammatory process

we're not rejuvenating we're not restoring if we're snoring at night that's keeping our brain from getting into deeper stages of sleep

so it's just like if you have your phone and you plug it in the charger that's really beat up wire you're not going to recharge as well

which means you're not going to function the next day but ultimately he's going to all right dr shasta's bond what do we do

here what can we do to help him out does he need a sleep apnea the first step in something like this is a sleep study i mean

basically uh find out what's going on at night see that's what that's so that right so my doctor dr kawashiri

my doctor what's his name dr kawashiri is he a sleep doctor

or just a doctor doctor he's my doctor he's a general practitioner okay well this this gentleman is

specific i understand that but that's but i was talking i don't know i'm just going to tell you a story i usually like kawashiri know that we're a little bit advanced

just remind me i let him know but he's very good well if you look at him up he's very good we will google him okay but go ahead so

um he does fred durst everybody um oh yeah i just made that up but uh i i just had

to defend dr kawashira for a second but i you know we talked to dr kawashiri before the pandemic

and he goes oh well you need to have uh he goes you need to have a sleepover

yep and i go i'm out i'm like what study i'm not gonna come here and try to so i don't i need to wire stuff

so here's the deal the old traditional way old-school way of doing sleep cities yeah you'd have to pack a bag go spend the night at a facility or a

hospital uh yeah affordable they're take-home they're even shippable we actually just send them to your house

uh you do it at night and then you ship it back to us and then we plug in the computer and we get the report super easy perfect so so you can

you can you can ship it to us and we can use it and you can ship it back we can ship it back to you and find the results oh all right brother have a good day

thanks man bye blue this episode is sponsored by bluetooth

i'm telling you right now andrew bluetooth really does work i've used it in my own personal life and as soon as i chew chew on it man i get a

rec directy and i go right into business man so i've used the stuff that you get at the gas station that's really sad and

embarrassing yeah and i'll never do that again because blue chew is the perfect thing to use when you're

looking to get an extra bluetooth brings you the first chewable with the same fda approved active

ingredients as viagra and cialis you can take them anytime day or night full stomach empty whenever you're ready to rock and roll

baby how do you get it bob you get it by um bluetooth is prescribed online by a licensed

physician so you don't have to go to the doctor's office or wait in line at a pharmacy and it's

it ships right to your door in a discreet package and guess what they're made right here in the u.s

baby yeah they ship direct they're cheaper than a pharmacy and you don't have to wait in the doctor's office because i know that's uncomfortable nobody likes going to the dock

we have a special offer for our listeners go to blue chew blue like color blue blue chew dot com

get your first shipment for free when you use our promo code bad friends pay five bucks for shipping and handling again spell it for him bob b-l-u-e-choo

dot-com promo code bad friends try it for free blue is the better cheaper choice we thank them for sponsoring the podcast by

the way guys if you support them they support us that's how this thing keeps moving you make it possible so be sure to use the promo code bad friends at

bluechew.com sure dash has saved my life during the pandemic andy same sweetheart

um you know i use doordash pretty much every day we use it pretty often you use it a little bit more than i do

i do use it very very i love chinese food same pizzas from it thai is our favorite to order i love getting mexican

mexicans you like to get a mexican mexican food yeah the real stuff that's what we have here in southern california doordash is the app that brings the food that you're

craving right to your door immediately you know it you've probably heard of it it's incredible

if you have a restaurant near you and you want the food get doordash they'll give it to you you don't have to get up off your couch

you have to do anything 300 000 partners in the us puerto rico canada australia support your restaurants we've we've

talked about this no joke uh bobo has done a great job staying at home during the pandy pandy and supporting restaurants he's probably

paid a couple of mortgages through doordash yep they've gotten food of all kinds uh it's

easy it's simple it's contactless and it's like um it's safe safe it's very safe if you're looking for something

safe and delicious you're hungry do yourself a favor and get doordash uh our listeners are getting five dollars off their first

order of 15 or more and zero delivery fees for the first month which is great because i paid so much

money in delivery fees download the dash app and enter the code bad friends that's five bucks off your

first order and zero deliveries that code bad friends for five dollars off your first order with doordash

that's right zero delivery fees for a month when you download the doordash app in the app store and enter the code bad friends don't forget bad friends five bucks off

your first order zero delivery fees for the first month with doordash my eye still hurts right here

my eye still hurts from what from thought you throwing the mask on my face i didn't throw the mask at your face you did no i didn't

you did tape you got a little cut do i really yeah

little tiny cut right above your eye seriously right on your eyelid actually i see it now yeah you did that

isn't that cool it's [ __ ] up what does that mean that you would [ __ ] attack me no but

what does that mean to you what means to me that little cut what does that mean

let it go man it's gone it's over it's not no it already happened it doesn't matter right it doesn't mean that that's in the past

right no it what it means to me is it doesn't even matter things don't even matter right yeah what it can answer that cut that cut

represents that cut represents every time

that you said something about my mom every time you were late and complained every time you

acted like a baby about something that's what that little tiny minuscule nothing cut the way that you go why do

you get frustrated at nothing that cuts a little nothing too it doesn't even exist can't let it bother

you but it's also a reminder it's a hint yeah hey [ __ ] with me and i'll i'll i'll i'll

[ __ ] you up i'll give you bigger cuts i have more stuff to throw at you i know but but see

but now you pushed me to the edge all right you pushed me on your birthday you

called me a puss and then dared me to throw the cake and everything in my power wanted me to throw the cake and also

anime and punch through the cake yeah and kill you and and just like fold in

your head with my fist yeah but why does it go to violence because there's no other way to get through to you

violence is the only way to get through this for me to get through to you not to somebody yeah i'm never violent with rudy i would never yeah because she's

she's conscious and aware and thoughtful you know so you had to resort to

violence okay with you yeah i i don't i have to resort to violence with you that you don't you don't have to i do

because it reminds you of things that you shouldn't be doing no it doesn't what it does is it makes me want to

double down and then i'm going to hit you harder i know and then it's going to end up us not being friends and it's going to get

ugly so why don't you stop with the violence no why don't you stop with the [ __ ] like what did i do everything i brought

up rat leather right precise skin because i know you talked to about my mom

and then i attacked you about your mom that's right and then i had i had to retaliate i know but because you started with the

mom stuff because you've unsolicited mom stuff at me all the time yeah you you do you do it

all the time so i just had to hit you i didn't mean to make you bleed and i did think hitting you with a soft mask wasn't

going to hurt but something caught you right in the eye and maybe that's god maybe that's jesus going god didn't hurt him god no it was the

devil yes it was yeah it's dark [ __ ] that you have to work out you're very angry i'm working it out

yeah yeah but with you but with you you make it you make it really no one's ever fossaulted me

that is so not true i've seen you get assaulted at the comedy store multiple times multiple people have punched you

one okay all right yeah and you deserved it really do you know why he did it you

called him an ugly jew bag no i didn't yeah you did you said you're a dirty jew because you and he goes you don't like

jewish people and you said no no he called me right because natasha legero had cheated

on him okay with who with ron peterson [Music]

i don't know what that is ron peterson was a canadian actor who was martin schwartz friend canadian actor you know the story right

i do know the story then how about why don't that tell you because some of the people don't know the story all right so let's just go back right so ron peterson was an actor

on mad tv when i was on med tv and he was at the store with me he saw natasha legere go up in the belly

room and he goes i want to penetrate her and i go she's seeing my fennari and then i went down to the or to do my set

he stayed up there and while she got when she got off stage he got her number

she left ari and then ari comes to me and he says can you break into ron peterson's office

at fox steal his email and then forward it to me i'm not breaking into somebody's [ __ ]

office to do that then he said if you don't do it you're the one that set them up and i'll [ __ ] kill you

that's not nice yeah so that's the kind of [ __ ] you would do that's

crazy violence you're so crazy i know so first of all go there first of all don't go there i'm sorry

about about the cut yeah i'm not sorry about throwing the mask that you deserved the cut i don't i

didn't mean to hurt you okay but i did want to hit you with it because i thought that was fun because it's a this is like a symbolic

of me don't throw anything at my face again i'm going to throw stuff at you if i want to you break all of my requests and rules

so what are your requested rules let's start there we're tracking our friendships on the line now okay all right so let's talk

start there okay so what is what is the problem you have resentment let's do that how about not being so disrespectful of

me and or my time okay so today right like like not texting me back or not answering

my calls even even if it's just like a oh okay cool okay uh matt rife wants you to do a

stand up shows you interested i respond i'm not performing until we have vaccine right on that's

that's just one let's go through the other scroll of how many blues are on my side and no response on your end okay so um

i'll go through it too bobo i don't know what to say to that when

somebody says hey what's up you don't know what to say is your is your name bobo do people call

you bobo yeah yeah okay so what do you mean andrew if you said to me hey firehead

hey hey hey freak monster boy but bubba let me just say something when you randomly say somebody's name

bobo it's not a question right it's an introduction to a conversation this is not a statement in any kind of way

i don't know how to respond you use a name to in to start again hey it's like saying hey if i go rudy

she goes what and then we start a [ __ ] conversation i don't yeah i know i just don't know oh so all right

so basically you should when you say instead of saying i don't know what you're saying yeah you don't say [ __ ] so

i you say bobo then i go andrew right you didn't say that you don't know you know who goes after that you didn't you know what goes

on i'll read what you said 69 of each other it's [ __ ] gay you sent me videos so i'm supposed to go

ha ha ha ha lolol smiley face emoji emoji you wanna [ __ ] i mean what the [ __ ] is

this what are you getting you're getting angry again no yeah what are you getting

egg we're just having a conversation okay so um the other day you said that i'm

late it upset you okay every time you're late i understand that [ __ ] day right day at three [ __ ] 30 right i go

kalei please text andrew and say no i'm going to be let's go now she's like she goes you can't go right now i go why

because the [ __ ] postmates is running late and she goes the [ __ ] was there not a

red truck blocking my car out of the driveway right so i go holy [ __ ] and i kept

telling uh kalela we were almost gonna get in a fight i go if i'm [ __ ] late i swear to god i go

if i'm [ __ ] like andrew is gonna [ __ ] yell the [ __ ] out of me she goes let me text him she did text me exactly right so that

all that [ __ ] i had no control over i know you know how you know how like when a drug addict is like yeah no this time i didn't this time or

like you know when someone goes it was going to be the last bank we robbed or it was like i i just it was just that

one more time you know so so so my point is it's not like this was the one

or two or three times the bank robbery let's go back to the bank robbery sure okay you and i are bank robbers

okay yeah and i look at you and i go um bro hey i forgot the masks that's what you would say oh [ __ ] i forgot the message

that's the point that's the point yeah and i don't know we're going to rob the bet are you sure

what i'm saying is is what you're saying that you're saying this is the last bank job we're going to do is the point right of this thing no the

point is let me just finish so you and i right rob a bank yeah okay which one

whatever chase chase chase right okay and you say to me this is the last one i go yeah all

right we rob the bank right and we have a bunch of money and going to take care of us for the

next five ten years right right okay and all of a sudden like um we leave all the money

in the trunk of a from rental car you leave all that you leave whatever regardless because i didn't leave it all right why did you leave it

in the mouth you [ __ ] left it in the enterprise rental car yeah you already know the scenario and i go yeah we have to rob

another bank yeah that's what this situation is that's exactly right yeah yeah and we'd rob another bank and we'd get caught we go

to prison we said we had it if you didn't leave it in the chevy [ __ ] malibu and return it to enterprise you're saying it to me though is

that we i ca listen to like i was late i love you so much i hate you right now i love you you hurt me and i don't like

when people physically assault me oh stop it it was an accident uh honestly my eye i said i'm sorry

i i said i'm sorry all right you don't throw anything on my

face again i said i'm sorry i didn't mean to cut you you're gonna throw something on my face again i threw this that's something on

my face plastic you're throwing myself again all i throw at your face now from now on

yeah is compliments and love okay bobby so why why are you doing it like that no i just i'm being real

sarcastic no i'm not let's be real i don't like it's like you have deep

seated resentment because you bring out the worst in me sometimes

no i don't yes you do do it yourself i don't do it to rudy you do it to yourself i don't do it to

[ __ ] andres fancy b do i ever do i ever get uppity with you and insane

see nothing fancy b yeah yeah

people know listen all right yeah i know what kind of person okay how about this i'll only hurt men let me just finish

yeah i will probably physically and emotionally hurt temperament and i'll fight you and i'll tell you i know that i want to kill you

know that you have a temperament right you have a certain way about you right i accept you

the way you are i really do i accept you the way you do as long as i don't get physically hurt by you

right just let me finish stop pretending i accept you i accept you the way you are stop making

it like this was an insane violence i threw a mask but i'm scarred flooded now i'm shut like a [ __ ] pirate now

i have a story to tell right i gotta tell people the story he threw a [ __ ] andrew santino [ __ ] mask at me

who did it andrew santino a funny story nonetheless he threw a mask of his own head at your

head yeah and i'm gonna say this right now if you ever [ __ ] put a scar on my face again right you'll see what's coming to you

what would you do nothing i know that's the point nothing but that's gonna be sad

because i'll have nothing to do with you oh yeah

go ahead what you got i have nothing yeah yeah i have nothing get all because this is

the episode where you get all of it out i've done it every episode all right so every episode i tell you what bothers me

i told you that let's not let's [ __ ] finish it off i told you that right that i um i'm gonna do everything

i can to show up here on time today i tried you did a good job red truck [ __ ] i understand

and i was [ __ ] five minutes left i wasn't even that bothered by it all right that's number one yeah number two what else what else do

you do yeah that bothers you oh my god i'll just can i just email you no tell me now

no you have to i can't air it out cut it out we'll cut it out no

no because you know what the irony is bob yeah you know what irony is right yeah the irony is

i love you so much this is real yeah yeah you can cut this out yeah i love you so

much yeah and i care about you see yeah no that's me absorbing it i'm sucking it

in that even the things you do that [ __ ] kill me

i still love about you and it's a part of our relationship

the toxicity of toxicity the toxicity of what it does to me when you do

[ __ ] that bothers me is probably why i like you yeah if you were boring i probably

wouldn't want to be your friend so ironically okay the the chaos that is

bobby lee is why i think i love you right and

that's you know and once in a while yeah during the chaos of a tornado yeah you get hit in the

[ __ ] head with a mask yeah yeah stuff flies everywhere uh-huh the truth but the truth the truth

is i don't

these kind of moments of like you know i mean hostility and weirdness and resentment and i don't resent you i

know but i'm just saying i enjoy the tension the tension of it right i strive on it that's my [ __ ] fuel

okay to live so let's keep it going i don't like being physically harmed you're gonna go back to this [ __ ] no

i'm going to already apologize i know i'm not no i'm just because we're not going to talk about it again i'm just telling you what what i do and

don't like i know what you okay nobody likes to get hit in the face with a mask right i'm well aware i just don't like it

okay you know i don't like being you know i like um being called a [ __ ] i like being like

you know mean i don't call you that i know i'm just saying i'm just telling you what i do like so i can from now on no no no

i'm just saying it doesn't you know i mean i like confrontation in that way all right right people you're you're

lazy you're fat you're nothing you're good for nothing all that stuff that you do right

i enjoy you're insane i only have nothing personally compliment i'm saying

that i can handle any of that [ __ ] right what i can't handle right is i don't

want to die or i don't want to get scarred i wouldn't hurt you right i wouldn't really hurt you you're that type of guy

no i wouldn't i beg you i beg you honestly no be i know honestly can i just go here

and i'll i'll get on my knees i'll get on my [ __ ] knees man i'm gonna get our knees please

please don't physically hurt me again okay i apologize please sir don't hurt

me again okay i'll think about it no no be real to say it right now i already told you i honestly

please don't do it again please [Laughter] don't do it again i promise i won't okay

for comedic purposes you do know right right now would be the best time for me to throw this mask at you

policy genius oh my god i love policy genius because i like to save money and i want to know what the

best possible prices for insurances yeah that's it's hard look if you have a car or you live in a home you can do both

uh looking around for insurances is rough it's not funny yeah it's it's it's a bummer you don't know

what to do policy genius saves home and auto customers an average of a thousand dollars a year by shopping around to a bunch of

different rates all you have to do is go to policygenius.com and answer some questions a few questions about yourself and your

property and then boom boom they do the rest they load up and compare rates they show you they go this guy this guy this guy this guy this guy

yeah and you can find out which one works the best for you licensed experts they they show you how to maximize the

savings it also has a five-star rating across 1600 reviews on trustpilot

and google that's right man they're doing a great job over there uh i uh i'm a big proponent of this you like

saving money which we do over here at bad friends if you're a homeowner go over to policygenius.com get started

all you got to do answer that then they save you money uh on home and auto an average of a thousand dollars a year by re-shopping

around your plans policy genius when it comes to insurance it's nice to get it right harry's oh my god i love harry's um you

know what i like um high quality razors yes and i also don't like you know um trying to search the town to find

them right i like it i love harry's because it delivers right to your door and you know i get harry's and i love shaving your back

well i get hairy on my back and your back is nasty well when you shave it when we got harry's

it was worth it we got we got some razors yeah yeah and it were and it's nice and smooth now

founded by these two guys um jeff and andy and they were best friends yep and they realized that they were

overpaying for razors as all men do yeah and then they they create and they created the design the design and it's

like well what harry's is doing is they want they want people to have access to something that's convenient that's nice that's

high quality but it's not going to rip you off like so many razors you go to go to the store to buy them it's it's disgusting these are sharper

they're nicer um and they're they're saying that everyone is is well the steel that they use is from sweden

yeah and they own the whole entire manufacturing process from rnd to the factory

to floor and it's so they they can see the process you know how sometimes like people make stuff and they just go to

china like i don't know where they're from yeah yeah these are hands-on guys yeah they know exactly what they're making

they're exactly what they're giving you so if you're a fella who likes to shave any part of your body really it doesn't matter yeah me is my back that's what i like

and bobby shaves right here under his little chin and on his cheeks harry these guys they confidently stand

by their blades with a hundred percent money-back guarantee on harry's

dot-com that's incredible and uh for our listeners honestly new us customers can redeem harry's trial set at

dot com slash bad friends for just three three dollars you'll get a five blade razor featuring their new sharper blades weighted

ergonomic handle foaming shave jave with gel and aloe a travel cover to protective blade when you're on the go

if you need a radiator go just go to harry's dot com bad friends and redeem your trial offer today and also can i just say this bobby

shut up i love you too yes but let me just say this okay and just since we're doing this jules don't

[ __ ] look at me that way because when i was in the car with you right when i was in the car with you

with some nice music on right what did i say to you and you laughed you said i love you

and what did you what was your response i laughed yeah

okay do you not love him no no no no she doesn't and so now since we're doing this right now yeah we're doing it we're doing it right

now right that hurt you threw [ __ ] a mask in my face too in the car an

emotional you also laughed because of your response do you know what your response was

nice music was playing right you know what i mean and um i just kind of was driving and i looked down and i got you know what i love you

and she goes she was eating a sandwich

what that's what she says so then i put down the volume and i go i just said i love you

and she went like this she made this fish and then her response

their face made me laugh like what the [ __ ] all right i don't love you what the [ __ ] all right

and then we both laughed but right so that's what that's the truth right what you did was

hurtful you threw a mask at me earlier okay that's what it really is yeah no this didn't even hurt that much

it did that hurt [Music] [Laughter]

so um stop touching your eyes it hurts oh yeah the last thing is um

it i get weirded out

i'm ready whatever it is yeah yeah please all right i get weirded out when

friends send me like you know cute memes what did i should what did i send

you knows or something to you know let's giggle about something together you know i mean like school girls what did i say i don't

know what that is i didn't watch it right but it's like whenever somebody that's a video i sent you that we were gonna play

on this show okay but when you send me like so that's okay so i don't wanna you don't want me to send you [ __ ] though

i didn't know that well no you didn't because you ain't [ __ ] watching prefer with it i don't send you [ __ ]

cute memes look at how you're digging for [ __ ] that doesn't even exist you're right you're right i'm just looking now there is now you're pissing me off

i know sorry thank you look at me in the face yeah say sorry say sorry cause i'm gonna say

it to you i can't i'm sorry for hitting you in the face yeah so say sorry for what sorry for being from making up [ __ ] you

[ __ ] you [ __ ] drama queen sorry i love you so now you're allowed to get starbucks

by the way is this a new rule yeah delivered what's the difference if you go to the drive-through window

they won't let me no no i mean they won't let me i'm asking what what's the drive-through window

between a guy that delivers it i don't know they won't let me i don't get it do you know what it is

no i just follow what they call it you follow the rule yeah yeah the rules now i get i get i get not

being in an unclosed space but i think a drive-through seems like that seems

regardless who's winning who's winning you didn't get coveted and i did so maybe that's but i also don't go to drive-throughs

ironically enough i i don't think i will get covered oh god whittling you won't you won't

because i just don't leave the house you know you you don't you don't think that i you won't you don't think that i

desire to to get it do you want to get it and get it over with no i i have a do you know fauci said half of americans

are going to get it by the end of next year half of americans will have had it by the end of next year what's that sticker

on the back of your phone me and kleila oh what is that where who

when is that from is that new taco oh why i've never seen it um let's get into what let's just get

into it let's talk about the british bake off oh my god i love the british bake off do you watch the show are you kidding me

are you watching this season yes no be real i swear and we just finished the great pottery uh the great uh the great british

pottery um show uh on netflix why can't i watch a poverty show oh my god they make pots

oh they do the powdering wheel i don't know and they're but i don't know that one so can we talk about the british one fine we could talk about the break and

be breaking too breaking bread breaking bread do you watch it really yes we do or let me ask you because i don't know if you do

who's in it like give me a description of people that's in it margo uh kailyn no babe you you don't watch it

just why don't you be honest that you don't watch the show margot kaelin there's no margo killing in it uh uh um the new princess

the new princess this dude not watch it of course i don't watch that show that's insane you you don't watch the great british

great my sister my sister loves it and she got me to watch an episode or two with her when i was back home yeah and um i

i just don't know that i don't know i don't know if i care about watching people bake stuff it's hard for me

okay i i tried i know people like it no no it's not it's not about that

it is about baking that's the crux of it that's the foundation of it right right but here's why i like it

and i i here's why i think it's a great show who okay who okay tell me why okay tell me why i must watch the show

okay because you know we live in a um america

i know we live right well but he's not feeling no you know you and i specifically right we

live in this like kind of dark underbelly of comedy right we do okay and we live you know

like in terms of like um what we think about what we talk about you know some of our ideals and ethics

and because we're always kind of so dark and gloomy right that we live in this kind of you know i mean

under a shroud of you know i mean a shroud we're in the upside down we're in the upside down world

right we see everything we're in the company's so so dark and i mean we've i've seen dark things and yeah drugs and all kinds

of stuff right yeah yeah and when you watch the great british bake off right

it's the polar opposite of that it's what it should be yeah it's happy yeah it's number one it's a competition

show where it's when somebody leaves the show they hug them goodbye there's no [ __ ]

cattiness like [ __ ] you know what i mean you should have [ __ ] made croissants better [ __ ] you know what i mean

there's none of that it's a funny show too i know that'll be a great show right it's like tanya was i'm so sad to see her go and

they hug and it's really pleasant even though the coach and i like the judges everyone gets together at the end yeah and they talk about it

right but number one number two it's very creative show

it's like you know there's a technical challenge in the middle right but the first challenge and the last

challenge it's up to the person uh would they they decide what they want if

it's like um bread week all right it's like you know we want you to make a bread shaped as

you know i mean colonial uh make it a colonial building right but you can use

any ingredients you want right and you can use any kind of bread that you want so everyone becomes creative right

and it's um and it's interesting because you're like for number one i love bread i love anything baking everybody loves

bread right but i just love people's ingenuity and um because there's a time crunch too right

there's the stress of it but it's like um i just it's a wholesome show and i feel

like um i need it i do think you do because i i okay so what i agree with

you on that i'll try it again yeah the reason i like the pottery show is there really a

pottery show because i've never heard of one swear to god i swear to god you're lying i swear to god it's on netflix i swear to god in my life why

would pottery be a thing pottery netflix show british

look it's called the great pottery throwdown i love it

the great pottery throwdown it's on netflix okay in the same way that you're talking about the reason i love it

i like it because i i'm i'm fascinated by pottery my therapist says i should pot you

should pot i know but that you got to buy the wheel and and and i know me if once you're getting the

pot molded just right and it folds in on itself i'm losing it maybe instead of like buying the most

expensive mercedes you could have got a pottery wheel i didn't buy the most expensive mercedes whatever i don't even drive a mercedes what is

that benz that's like that's a kia sorrento that i drive it's not a mercedes it's a kia sorrento

it is yes oh okay okay and that has nothing to do

with the i'm not gonna buy a wheel powdering wheel for my house why i'm just saying that you you spend so much on other things what are the

other things i spend on it's a kia sorento i don't have a

mercedes that's not your car they're not that i see all the time there are 50 cars in our parking lot is

it mercedes is that a mercedes it's it's a i gotta go look at it then that's mine

that's his oh you have a mercedes fancy b under underlying fancy oh

you have that kia sorento is yours that's mine oh well you get a better car but you spent

money on i don't spend money on anything okay not my clothes are terrible that's

true okay yes andres but he just said yes to me i've been to your

house that's what i i buy nothing in my home your house looks like

i'm sorry yeah you hate the show place i know it is it's from a movie set we rent it out every night no no i rent

it out everything is it's like a you know a showroom at a furniture store mission plus

it's beautiful great conchs and ottomans do you know what mison plus means no it's a it's a it's a culinary

term it means everything in its place everything in its place a chef would say

meaning everything goes where it's supposed to be you know i love spielberg movies especially when he portrays families

because that's what i think a family should look like the living room like if you ever see e.t right

everything's disheveled yeah and there's clubs and you know i mean it just looks real right he does middle-class samaritans

when i look in your place it's like bougie bougie yeah your house is twice the

price and twice the size of mine yeah but the inside's garbage that's right right there's like [ __ ]

cat [ __ ] all over the [ __ ] place yeah but yeah but yeah but you guys have fancy furniture you have expensive stuff in your home i don't have expenses my

couch how much was your couch well it was a gift so you got it for free

no it was a gift from someone that owns a furniture company that i know how much was that i think it was like a

couple grand and your couch was probably 20 grand no 30 22.

22 grand yeah but for fun italy that's what they said see you are fancy i'm not fancy that's

what they charge right joel how much how much what like how much is your bed um my bed was like the bed the bed frame

no not the bed itself and you don't you don't do tempur-pedic no i do um whatever our sponsor is

whatever our sponsor is no no but like what's the most expensive you you buy expensive stuff i

the last expensive thing i bought for real genuinely my thing wasn't expensive it was hand built for the room

so yes it was expensive no my buddy did it i don't know let me go backwards yeah yeah i know i

don't know his last name castro yeah i built i i love

the pottery show because like the great british bake off yeah when you lose they they

they're sad they cry the host of the show cries he'll look at someone's pot he'll look

at this the ceramic mug yeah and he'll go the composition's quite incredible and

look the thinnest that you've done at the base i can tell i can tell yeah you put something extra

in there and that's what i really appreciate about this he cries all the time it makes my heart

glow yeah so i love the show because i don't care about pottery really although i'm supposed to do it to my therapist but

they root for each other and if someone's done early like on on um chopped if you finish your cooking

you're not gonna [ __ ] help someone cook a meal yeah yeah when they finish on the great on the pottery show yeah they'll

go help someone else put them in the thing so they dry fast oh no no that that's what the british were so i'm saying well these are all

british people this is british too that's what british is my mate you need more cumin i've got excellent cumin cause i run off

have you got extra care yeah and the guy will rush her and give it to him yeah i know what cumin is thanks for the extra cumin yeah

it's like have i talked about the antique roll show on this show before no but i have a story yeah me too go so

i love it when like you know the appraiser get something that's so rare they begin to cry yeah i

love that oh my god i've studied i mean i went to oxford and read about

the history of this ornament never saw it in the flesh i cannot believe that it is in front of me right now how much is it worth

14.95 no but they get like you know i mean this china mingling tao right with his

hands and clay right this is when he lost his hands during the [ __ ] war between the monks right with his loves

he coughed you know i mean the statue this cat yeah he died while carving

right and his cousin eddie mm-hmm his cousin that he had to grab it from ming's hand and put you know and

it's like the only thing alive the only thing that's exists left from that from making that from that

his cousin eddie grabbed his hands and still shaped it while he was dead there was another one that's the

sculpture one guy was like hey man i just bought this you know mexican painting at the thrift store right

and the lady's like where where did where is it like where did you hang it in the in the

garage man yeah it's in the garage by the tool shed yeah that painting's five million dollars shut off yeah like

at like a who's you did you ever see the one this is the best one did you ever see the one of this man

right he had this blanket right he had this blanket that was like like a

throw blanket like yeah that was just in growing up in his house you know what i mean just by the toilet right

right yeah it used to see it it's really great and when she tells him what it's worth he brings the cry

because dude it's so touching can i just show it to you let's look it up oh my god it is so touching it's like this navajo

blanket 40 to 1860 and it's called a you first phase a ute a you first phase

wearing blank watch he gets emotional the old man but as navajo made they were made for you chiefs

and they were very very valuable at the time this is sort of this is navajo weaving in its purest form

all of these things that we see later with diamonds and all kinds of different patterns comes much later than this this is just

pure linear design this is the the beginning of navajo i'd wipe my ass with that and if that wasn't like i wouldn't [ __ ]

about it looks like a rug it looks like a bathroom map yeah believable unbelievable we see these we've got a

little bit of damage over there it's made from hand woven wool but it's so finely done it's like

silk it would repel water and this here is dyed with indigo dyes it was a very

valuable dye at the time it's an extraordinary piece of art it's extremely rare

it is the most important thing that's coming to the roadshow that i've seen um we're looking at here in terms of

having the clue are you a wealthy man no well sir um i'm still a little nervous

here i have to tell you uh on a really bad day this textile would be worth three

hundred and fifty thousand dollars three hundred and fifty thousand dollars

yeah for a [ __ ] blanket look at him yeah he just he's going to [ __ ] die yeah

he's like [ __ ] cheer myself no i used to [ __ ] my cousin on this rock in the backyard you know what i mean

[Laughter] yeah 300 what does he say here on a good day

it's about a half a million dollars oh my god you had no idea i had no idea i just

laying on the back of a chair well sir you have a national treasure wow and national treasure gee

when you walked in with this i just about died congratulations congratulations i can't

believe this okay enough of that two things here okay i'm pro okay good for this man

easy he's he can't even he's going to die before he can spend any of that money

well to me i'd be like already in my mind right i'm going to

leave my wife you know i'm never going to talk to my kids i'm going to move i'm moving to hawaii

cocaine right and hookers vegas that's what he's seeing that's why he stops that's what's going through it

but the other side of the other part of me that's like like uh not to sound like one of these [ __ ] but

it's like a native american but and this old white guy has it right kit carson though right

his great great great grandfather or whatever new kid carson yeah i don't know keith carson i don't know who that is either

yeah i don't know we're not good with stuff like that but like what they're saying is is that if they could prove that it was carson's

blanket then it's worth like triple the the amount really yeah yeah but i just think like how does

this old white guy have like a chief an indian a navajo indian chief's ute blanket that seems like not nice oh you think

that he stole it like his ancestors his answers was obviously killed right

let's trade blankets right right back in the day right he went to an indian right

let's trade blankets right and the indian's like oh okay right and you're like mine is way warmer than yours yeah yeah gave them the

blanket they all died from smallpox and this guy gets a half a million dollars bad okay

you know what i take it back [ __ ] that old guy yeah yeah here uh christopher uh hudson carson better

known as kit carson was an american frontiersman he was a fur trapper wilderness guide yeah indiana yeah

yeah yeah wilderness got an indian indian agent and us army officer he became a frontier legend his own life biography his new articles so clearly

yeah kit carson stole this or killed someone for maybe he was friends with the indian

because it says he was he was a native american he was an indian agent what does an indian agent mean do you

know what that is does that mean he well the indians back then right they loved they they wanted to do a lot of commercial

work oh he was an agent for the pictures no for the no audition for an agent yeah

for the pictures yeah yeah back then they probably didn't have tv right they didn't have tv back then when did tv get started i don't know in

the 50s 60s yeah 1660s 1670s okay so it says indian fighter carson

was 19 when he set off with ewan young's expedition rocky mountains in addition to furs and the company sold a free spirited rugged mountain men

carson sought action and adventure he found what he's looking for in killing and scalping indians carson

probably killed and took the scalp of his first indian he was 19. yeah yeah this guy this

old man that we first saw yeah is the descendant of of an indian murderer yeah this is not a

joyful rug story yeah but what if we had a box next to him yeah he just had scalps

we had these two in the gay rod so this guy obviously was not a notion about

indians softened over the years okay he found himself more and more in their companies he grew older you have to i think you have to well you

scalp enough of them you finally feel bad david roberts believes his marriage to

an arapahoe woman named singing grass softened the stern and pragmatic mountaineers

wait he married a woman named singing grass dude what i i you always think that there's wolves

in it right like sleepy wolf or whatever yeah which is joe biden but um or something like that right it's

a sleepy wolf or like you know something like that yeah but sleep what is it sling grass singing grass was his wife's

name it is singing grass that sounds like what rudy's name would be yeah singing no um uh uh what would it be a sharpie

knife yeah sharpie yeah bloody knife yeah something like that her bloody knife yeah

so oh my god carson had several encounters look at this a blackfoot the group of teepee with three indian corpses inside the three had died of

smallpox this guy yeah and i love how it says his uh as an indian agent he saw those under

his watch were treated with honesty and fairness so we know that's not true by the way like that's like a slave owner being like i

was nice to my slaves such [ __ ] the historian david roberts said his

marriage to his singing grass softened the stern in pragmatic mountains so he married a [ __ ] a native

american woman and only then was he like that ain't so bad yeah yeah these are what we this guy clearly

left his family and gave it to this guy someone very important thing and now

they're all dead and now he would be yelling spear yelling yelling spear yeah yelling spear

something like that yelling son yelling son yelling son yelling son with mine um um

uh sleepy panda uh you would be everybody liked it in the

house yeah they did uh you well it'd have to be something with sleep you would be well okay singing grass is pretty lazy no no sleep because it has to be a

like um uh uh sleepy or tired or restful

r restful right you you know what you're like a you're like a a tired nugget you're like

a nugget of a person not a good tired nugget sleepy sleepy nuggets so sleepy nugget

nugget uh screaming sun or yelling sun yeah yelling sun yelling sun yeah

bloody night bloody knife and what's andre's um fancy bean

it stays the same yeah yeah there's another there's another antique road show that i have to tell you oh wait let me tell you real fast

i sat next to a guy on the plane we were traveling somewhere he said where are you going not at eyes i usually avoid it but he was a nice guy

and i said i'm a stand-up i'm actually going to wherever st louis for i said what do you do and he goes i'm

on antiques roadshow he's one of the presenters oh wow and i was like no [ __ ] yeah and rudely

and i and i felt bad afterwards but i said that that's still on and i didn't mean it like oh it's it's

going stronger than that i know but i didn't mean it like i just meant like where is it i've never i haven't seen it in years except on the internet

he's like yeah yeah it is and he was very cool we had a conversation i said what's the craziest um story that you've

ever seen and i think it's on youtube we can look for it a man was a world war ii veteran um and

uh he was a world war ii veteran and world war ii and so this

uh this man right here so the g the 1960 gmt master role i've seen this one he goes he goes he said to me it was the

craziest thing and he was that he's he was at this he was at this man right here he kept

the receipts and all the boxes and stuff he was in germany yeah a friend of a friend

said he bought one for his dad and himself that's exactly right he's exactly right all of these that's exactly right yeah yeah and he goes um

his cat is the army captain said um make sure you buy make sure you buy a rolex when you're

there because they're going to be worth money so back then he was an army guy like that would make

150 a month i think it's got to be less than less than that and the watches were so expensive i

didn't even to me i'd be like no my uh rolex look at this guy that i bought the gmt master

he's got all the receipts yeah i bought it in germany in um swybrucken schweibrock in germany

wait dude they showed the receipt at the beginning there yeah 230 is what he paid for the rolex yeah but

he didn't he didn't make a lot and so to me i'm like this guy look at that look at that thing

still working yeah all right let me show you let me let me get to the part when they tell him the price because they go

through all this it's emotional oh my god it's actually probably the sweetest thing i've ever seen in my life so look at that he paid 230 for it said

the rolex itself was 104 uh one of them was one 104 the one that

he gave his dad was 120. and then they bought a neck chain a neck chain for a dollar sixty

and two film two pornographic films each for a dollar ninety five that ended

up being three dollars original two girls one cop yeah yeah and this was in zweibrachen

germany uh and none other than hitler himself sold him the watch yeah j j hitler that was his name do people

don't know that it wasn't eight off it was julius hitler adolf was his middle name so he tells him what he paid he tells

him what it's worth hold on let's get to it yeah he tells him he does this thing oh you've got all

the right stuff you've got all the nazi paperwork yeah uh he's like i got it and it's even he's

still got the stamp here maybe this is it right here dollars he just said it right five

thousand dollars would be worth today between 35 and 45

000. but yeah this watch is worth much more because you saved the box and all the

paperwork for it easily today it's 65 to 75 000 in the market

probably more than a month's pay in the military right now wow i had no idea

so well look he's getting emotional here that's so sweet i'm speechless you would have told me 1500 i would have

been happy that's great there's one i want to show

you but can i tell you something about this that i learned afterwards he was a molesting yes he molested me no

that watch was a ute navajo chief's watch and he stole it

what's the other one so the other one was this lady yeah i guess her grandmother or great-grandmother right

had a boarding house and she boarded like the first professional baseball team but

they were just kids right this guy spalding you know they got the spaulding empire the the the the company that's

right brother like wright brothers did planes whoever they could have been baseball players would just watch it but it's like and

they stayed at this house so she has the original baseball cards the very first ones

what yeah you should see how much what what is it 18th roadshow baseball cards yeah

original yeah there it is it's got to be one of the top ones it's this one that one that one it's gotta be that one back in

1871 my great great grandmother had a boarding house in boston and

she housed the boston baseball team most of them had come from cincinnati red stockings

and we're among the first to be paid to play baseball do you know what they were paid in those days the first

professional teams well i know the cincinnati reds the first night which was for a second this is

when when when the appraiser gets emotional too this is what's good about old white people this is the one

they've got so much like fun little knick-knacky tidbits you know this is fun yeah this is fun i mean this is fun i

mean they're terrible some of them are really bad people and they hate you no she hates you no this one no

this these types of white women yeah love me they ask me if i read because they don't

think you can no one time i was at [ __ ] i was in columbus ohio and i was at a bookstore right and that

and i was really depressed so i bought bought like a deepak chopra book yeah i was so depressed i was about to kill myself and i was

standing i was sitting on the curb and i was just opening it up right and reading and this old lady comes just like her

young man like a what what am i not supposed to be sitting here i always get defensive yeah you do yeah

you get nervous i stood up i was like i'm sorry i put the cigarette out you know what i mean you read

i go yeah i just you know i mean it's like oh i'm you know i'm so glad the youth are reading books because

that's what i was raised with reading books you know what i mean i just read you know uh sun also rise for hamming me just again again you know

what a great have you read that book right you've never i don't know who that is right and we just had this

conversation about reading because well because people don't read no but that's what i love about old white ladies like this

some of them they talk about yarning because if you were down in little rock it'd have been young man yeah and you're

going oh sorry oh i gotta yeah she goes what are you doing here fella all right

what are you doing here little chinese fella but the ending of this guess what those are so hold on get well guess how much they

are well i want to hear what she says they got paid oh yeah yeah no the cincinnati reds the first

9 300 i read was the entire payroll for the baseball team at that

time 9 300 for the whole the whole team for a whole year yeah that's five bucks a

person yeah yeah all right let's see all these cards went to your great grandfather that's

how that's how he got them and they got handed down to you they all look like that apparently he collected them and he

unfortunately cut them down his little album so whoa look at harry schafer was blind

that man is blind yeah god that's wild david s bernstein uh a skew and the thing that's special

in addition to the that's the look where he looks at immigrants in the cage [Music]

okay let's see how much this is worth it says it at the end usually right she gets emotional to the national and

american leagues so that all said you're going to keep them in the family right

i want to okay i'm going to value this as an archive everything here if you're going

to insure it i would insure it for at least one

million dollars are you serious oh my

holy smokes it is the greatest archive i have ever had at the roadshow

really always nice yes i better put it in a bank vault

this is very funny and yes i am going down this path but it is always funny

the old old white people have the same reaction like auntie trojan would be so better if it was a black show

oh it would have been like the best they would have wiped as soon as it would have been already in

a box in the car no just giving away the reactions would be so much better she goes she goes oh my oh my goodness

if it was if it was like an old black lady and they were like these are worth it she's like oh [ __ ] it would have been so much more

fun to watch someone like lose their [ __ ] you would see somebody flipping in the background she's doing flips she i mean it's a

million dollars and she goes oh my god well put in a bank vault

sell it you're gonna die soon yeah that is insane prostitutes like the other guy that's

the first thing that that the fir honestly though let's think about it like this you move out of your of your house now okay and you don't

even know that when they're clearing it out there's stuff in there from the previous owners and they find something like when you're

oh you're redoing that when you're fixing the house which is my dream my dream is like they rip a wall and they're like hey there's painting in here

and you take it and they're like dude this is worth two to three million dollars oh my god what's your what's your literal first

thing you're doing right away bobby this is worth two million dollars this painting jules collela get out

no no no it would just be like um would you give them money would you right away would your first stop be like i'm gonna break no nothing

right okay smart no not a time they wouldn't we'd take a vacation now where anywhere they would want i would

say just anywhere you guys want to go let's go would you do like private what do you mean did you fly private or

you still do commercial oh first class but for commercial yeah right still commercial yeah yeah i have a dream of winning a lot of

money yeah and flying my whole family private somewhere but me being on another plane

yeah yeah yeah yeah like putting them on one and then putting me on well i see i used to do that i got a girl broke

up with me kinda because when we would fly out she would be in the couch if you put her in goat you're such a

dick yeah and it's the best is when you're a girlfriend you're in first class and they have to walk by i

know it's my favorite why would you put her in coach because i

think the couple of times that did they only had one first class but a bunch of coach what about the other times what what about the other

times you did it no those are the only couple times i've done it oh they only had one first class eight yeah yeah i only had one like it's

either sit and coach with my girl and i would look at her and i was her name was christine i'd go

i'm just going to get the first one the one first class and she'd be like what you don't even need the extra leg room

i know i just i just need it why luxury yeah

but you never offered it to her there was only one available correct between you and her you never offered it to her once

is she on stage performing i don't think she let's cut to right now yeah kalyla and

you you're flying to new york it's a long flight mr lee in this situation mr lee we're

going to refund you i'm at the desk mr lee look this we are so embarrassed but we've

overbooked we have one one ticket in first class the other one is in the

38th row by the bathroom and it's actually bathroom two babies and on the other

side is broken seat and that's the jumper seat for the flight attendant so those two seats what would you like

us to do is the only flight we got to new york this is it so well what i would immediately do is

going into a go into a false routine okay in terms of like out faint sickness right mr lee we've

seen this before we need you to know it's just kalila oh i don't feel good

she was like what do you mean i don't know i think i need my my my medication oh let's get your meds yeah yeah where is it oh yeah i still

yeah you know you could take it sweetie oh you'd say that yeah to her but i would also faint right you know what i mean so

you'd put it on yeah i would put on like oh i feel dizzy and she's like no no you go ahead yay and then do you say yeah yeah okay

like right away no are you sure none of that no no really i would offer her to her first

yeah right and then you know what i mean faint sickness of some sort and then when she gave it back to me i

would take it right away bobby what would you do if me and the old lady were flying somewhere yeah

and they had two i would let her sit in the first class and that's what i offered it no i would offer it but you knew you

were playing the game to get out of it right you have to you know you have to

fight for your right okay you have to fight for your right to take first class no you have to do it in a chivalrous way

right because i'm chill furious i'm a man you are chevrolet yeah yeah and um so i would have to put up that

front sure right but i always also have to you know i mean play the card i had to play my card too

play in my hand right right because you're like i'm a performer i need the rest you're doing that thing even if we're going on a regular

vacation but just to go rest more yeah yeah yeah so it would because

there's no harm in that i agree right but i'm giving you the option maybe she doesn't even care

some people don't care she cares yeah do your feet touch the ground when you're all the way back in a seat

i just i see your feet like swinging like a little kid on a toilet have you ever flown private be real no

but whenever you know who else has it who me yeah i refuse to do it

no if somebody else offers it to me i would do it no i don't no because buddy holly what happened he

died he died yeah yeah buddy holly and richie valens died and hopper who else who else died private in a

private plane jfk no that's junior yes that one did yeah yeah the other one

got his head fell off well half of it was there everything

about that we i talked about this the other day for some reason she's scooping his head back into it i mean i i

what would you that to me once that happened as someone who plays warhorn warzone

yeah did you ever watch the footage and be like that's a good shot kill shot head shot yeah yeah that's insanely

funny insane that's crazy i mean there was two shooters yeah yeah yeah but i just imagine scooping your

hut your loved one's head yeah like imagine scooping kalila's head back into her brain right and then after that it's like

that's it that's that's it life is completely dark i mean how could you be anything

else i mean i i don't know if you see the are you laughing no yeah you're while you're like oh my god it's

dark she doesn't even know do you know who jfk was um the president he wasn't he was the archaeologist he

was the famous famous american archer do you know we're talking about he got shot you know that right he got his head got

shot and killed and yeah can i see the video oh my goodness one are you being [ __ ] prettier yeah i'm curious

do you know what you want to shoot you know it's probably not on youtube do you know what you need to show her is this a pruder film yeah you know what that is do you know

do you know do you know about any of this stuff there's conspiracy that jfk was um

there was there was two people two separate gunshots here's the zupruder film there you got

to watch the whole thing i can't really scan through the whole thing yeah i know well this is look this is a this is a kind of an example of uh

look at the bullet goes through down and away down and away you need to really watch

uh this this is the shot look at how beautiful that shot was yeah that he his head got shot

in that car in that car right there next to his wife it happened in houston dallas right in dallas why do i want i i thought

dallas then you said houston and i thought i was wrong yeah i think dallas dallas was dallas right fancy yeah yeah

and um to satish it was so exciting right there they're having a great time yeah maybe three minutes after that it

was the worst time you ever think about what's the last thing he said right before he got shot yeah it's hot it it's hot out here yeah

it's hot out here oh that's how long is these italian suits you know what if he said something racist right

before he got shot yeah he's like these guinea wops can't make a suit for [ __ ] right wow let's see you need to watch

that you need to you need to do research about that you'll find out some crazy stuff and you'll be getting a conspiracy depth

very dark i want to end this on a happy note i'm serious yeah i love that we can talk and laugh

and then apologize for our mistakes and it means a lot to me yeah i'm sorry i hate you with this it still

hurts bob i i said i'm sorry i'm i'm just being genuinely i love you and i love you too

and i'm sorry but look at me i'm sorry you're welcome no no you don't say you're welcome

you just say i hear it you can say thank you thanks thank you

you mean a lot to me hey hey shut up turn the music down look

at me real fast i love you i love you too

okay okay thank you for being a bad

[Music] friend

[Music]

bye