Bobby's Bowling Date | Ep 247 | Bad Friends

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20% off because 20% off because of the Cyber so you two are bad friends who are these

two idiots a white dude and an Asian dude you two are disgusting W you

or something we're bad friends anyway we're we're filming this podcast election night we filmed this on

Election night on right now right when you're listening to this this is election night I also think we did this

on the last election for we were around then yeah 2020 yeah 20 2020 this guy I'm

almost posi no one talks except for us today did we do an episode did we do an episode on I think we did because I

remember him talking like this this this sounds familiar no because I no I tell you why we weren't Tito Bobby was in

Joshua Tree I was in thank you so much I was in Joshua Tree H yeah just like you

in a desert Rabb like a rabbit desert rabbit rabbit rabbit desert rabbit

rabbit I can't I can't po do that I can't even say desert rabbit dude I can't even say desert rabbit right now

dude say it again give me the line again I was in the like desert rabbit oh you

in a desert rabbit yeah yeah and it was I remember do you remember you were there mhm let's

be real though I remember Julio was on the couch with his arm on the couch watching me m yeah I remember so did you

even vote today no I I give money so you didn't

even vote you didn't either yes I did there's no way where's your sticker where's my sticker I don't wear the

sticker I'm not a cuck yeah well I did too then no I know you didn't yes I did when where I at Beachwood Canyon no you

didn't that ping that what time 2 p.m. 2 p.m. yeah give me your phone no you give

me your phone okay what what what kind of gameer are we playing cuz I know at 2 p.m. I can see who you were communicating with at 2 p.m. and you

would be like I'm in line here I am yeah that's my I have proof I live with someone that goes yep I went to the

[ __ ] Elementary and I have proof I have with people to do it to no you don't yeah I have my housekeeper why would you lie because where you going

did you vote Yes I did you're a liar my house goes where you going I go how can the fans believe you if you say you'd

voted when we know you didn't how can you do this right now cuz you're Mr on your high horse you're a high hor here

you are complaining about something you didn't even contribute to yeah yeah he's never voted well that's my it doesn't matter in California we all love that no

yeah I need wait hold on I need a

churo that's insane I need you know what I'm going to get a cookie yeah get a churo and a cookie yeah I'm going to get

half a cookie that'll solve all your problems this is what the liberals do

they eat away their feelings they're sad about what happened they eat Munch Munch Munch Cookie

Monster no but let me be serious for a second okay neither of us voted we know

that you didn't either of course not of course not but we should for at least the local elections I'm mad about that

but I couldn't because guess what went to the registar I'm not registered how I voted last time called still I need to

go in and turn in more proof documents that it it's me so either somebody stole my identity but I don't have my original

birth certificate do you mine's framed my parents died in a fire when I was a

kid they're all gone everything's gone you can do that online request another a birth certificate exactly thank you so

much how long does it take to get uh maybe a week this is coming from someone that definitely didn't get a certificate

of birth yeah let's not talk about birth certificates right now dude yeah okay

anyway I tried don't Google go how you get one then we have to go through the process I don't want to go through the

process of it long it does take it is a pain in the ass it's a whole thing proving you were born I mean it took me

3 minutes to register to vote H but H but yeah because you're a brand new Citizen and they cannot wait to get your

information guess what dude jury duty coming your way you're you're going to have so much solicitation coming your

way I cannot wait you're fresh blood kiddo you're new to the fold and welcome by the way can't wait to take your taxes

and another thing scumbag you scumbag get them Bob you're students right who

paid for their dinner Bobby did was that not a nice gesture that's right and you treat me like you did earlier yeah about

saying oh here's you know he doesn't you know Mr whatever you said whatever what did he say I don't remember but I can't even speak I can't even I'm so emotional

I can't even speak get it out all right so enough of that kind of behavior all

right and by the way Bobby gave them money and he goes so far not only did he give them money he cooked them dinner

tonight came right from cooking dinner wow isn't that polite that's so polite

I don't know I don't get that Chef shirt I love your fashion you always have good fashion the chef shirt I don't get it's

the roach one the Mone that is the roach shirt yeah M do you like this one I think it's sick I think it's sick too

yeah and Mone would no more yeah dude Mone would no more yeah come over here yeah yeah yeah look at what this [ __ ] loser is wearing okay look

yeah he's wearing an Adolf Hitler shirt you I mean

aend yeah you voted all right great get out of here get out of here kid fast as you can yeah

these jeans have a [ __ ] stain on the back yeah ha I'll I'll tell you another thing if you ever pull your pants down

in front of me and jwes and you do a Ramen fart I swear to god dude you you have another thing coming well what will

you do what will you do you know what this is like that clip with Mike Tyson when he's like yeah I'm G vote for Trump yeah

what what what you going to do about it and everyone's like well nothing yeah that's right so shut the [ __ ] so shut

the [ __ ] up how about that but you know what it's so funny what what am I going to do about it what are you gonna do about it I'm going to do something

that's not non-violent okay okay so is that what you're pertaining to no anything what are you going to do about

it I'm going to fart on I'm going to I when I got to fart I'm farting right at you every time I twist Minds mhm okay

and I'll cork screw your [ __ ] mind into a different dimension you are mindboggling all right there's a lot

about I I I have people that I call dude whom whom yeah wh to whom whom do you

call to whom don't scare me [ __ ] okay you want

a war you want a war with me yeah all right we'll have a war yeah I don't want it you started it I didn't start [ __ ]

yeah yeah you came at me don't fart in my face nobody farted in your face I farted at her you farted at both of us

well so much you know what you were in the blast radius you caught some shrapnel you were in the blast radius it

was aimed at you look I tried to hit the Philippines it's like when Chernobyl went off right it affected Germany it

did yeah yeah is that what you're saying yes I'm Germany yes you're German [ __ ] dude that's say sneak SCS yeah yeah by

the way Ramen I'm never going to go to that place ever again which one is it well I don't want to [ __ ] on it yeah

whisper whisper well we can blank it out yeah blank it out oh it's terrible dude there's one by our houses no this was

cuz I was on the road I know I know I'm on the R I was on the run and I was like it's I had a post made to bring it here to eat it guess how much my Ramen was

tonight from them I'm not kidding I added some [ __ ] in there okay so uh I got I got a regular old school and I

added a few new vegetables and and I wanted extra meat $32 $32 right you know

what I mean that's a ripoff boohoo dude that's a ripoff bro do you know that's a ripoff but but by any standard that's a

ripoff that's a ripoff this guy buys a silk right cover for each one of his

[ __ ] golf clubs that's not true that's AB 89.95 each silk right he's got 15 golf clubs right because they have to

be like you know what I mean spotless and it's got to have that [ __ ] go get the golf clubs right now and see how they're those are your secondary ones

those are those are your secondary ones that you keep at the office you have ones at home whatever I have no clubs at

Louis Vuitton put it back Louis Vuitton look at those silk things B nardy those covers are for the drivers uninformed

didn't you get beat with those things you don't even know what they are yeah yeah my dad took the covers off oh he did yeah when he beat me with them okay

so um the silk cover dude thanks for not playing good improv and getting on board

me with the ramen oh so $33 for ramen

oh no you know man they should go back to wherever they came from that's way

too much money where should they go back to I thought you wanted an improv now you're doing you're now you're neing it

well what do you no I'm not going to don't you're negative go back to where they came from I don't know what bit you want me to do dude a funny one say it

again then let's start again say it again I I I I'll read the tempo you know I had really good ramen today yeah well

where but it was expensive where let me guess where let me guess yeah because

I've had a problem with these people too dude where does it say with start with a j it does end with a a it does janga MHM

jonga jonga janga did you get nervous when we were yelling at each other yeah and you were getting red so I thought it

was I'm hot I should take off this sweater it's too hot in here yeah you're scary when you're angry I know thank you

what me uh you're okay yeah see that's what I'm saying yeah you're SC I get angry with peace H you know what I mean

no yeah yeah firm but soft always softt yeah it's a com it's a combo see I do

combo Expressions what people don't realize about me yeah you're like a combo yeah yeah filled with [ __ ] yeah

rage but empathy little hint of empathy underneath right Joy but with a little

bit of resentment you know I mean it's a combination I put out there because I'm human and I'm a complex human being D

dynamic in many ways okay so I am sorry that you spent so much on that food

thanks and um I'm just not going to tell you anything anymore that's you're being

like a little baby right now you lead the show oh come on dude can I just say something no leave the show tonight I'll

tell you something right I'm going to let you leave the show you ready so this [ __ ] guy Amir K is in the Green Room

at the com I'll tell you where where where I'm at right now yeah where's this coming from I thought we'd put cookies in you you'd be happy give me hey give

me the the rest of the cookie please yeah yeah please give himic huh what what happened with theic I'm on theic

oh dude dude don't I'm trying to have a show tonight I know dude what are you doing dude I'm Gonna Get You All I'm

gonna you want to get give me give the thank you thank you what's this no stop stop give me the other one no what's

this I don't know it's in the Box you want half of this Rudy yeah okay very good I don't want this probably jelly or

something yeah yeah come here dude lick it off his finger yeah there go go good boy good

boy boy okay good cookie this is so good let's

start a new let's start a new okay so a week ago I'm in The Green Room at The

Comedy Store I'm just sitting there with I want to say his name should I say

it why can't you say the name he's my dear friend yeah we're friends with him but we can't say the name because you want to protect him because of what the

best well you know I I just you know he he started spouting off some politics

you know I mean you know if when it comes to fishing I'll listen to

him what's so funny he loves the fish he's actually incredible Fisher I've eaten fish that he's caught yeah yeah

he's a great fisherman okay what's so funny mcon yeah dude what's so funny I

just wasn't expecting fishing to get brought up in this political

[Music] conversation well I mean for sure he

can't come to Australia you're not coming yeah yeah for sure unpack your [ __ ] when you get home yeah yeah for sure unpack it stay yeah

because that's tough that right there dude not good D let me tell you I don't want to cut you off I want this story to

finish but just so I can be a little bit more I'm with you here when I walked in today and these two guys saw well no you

saw it actually Andre saw it did he have attitude to me Bobby if you were [ __ ] here and

then I yelled at him and I said if Bob were here for this and you the response

the way he responds to me the these days it's okay it's it's I I'm actually like

I'm genuinely shocked okay so this bad friends just to give you some education is a TV show we do TV show numbers

that's right okay yeah so you know when a PA let's see a

showrunner what what a showrunner there let's say there's a showrunner got it and a PA or or you know somebody on set

that does like props right M talks back right in a negative way to the

showrunner right the show runner doesn't even know that dude's name he gets fired on the spot he's like who's that who's

that guy what we did was we went oh let's memorize the prop guy's name right we let him in and like get let's

exchange number with the [ __ ] lighting guy right and all of a sudden the lighting guy is like oh I'm equal to

the showrunner he is actually an assistance assistant exact assistance assistance assistant he's assistant

assist assist yeah yeah yeah definitely and for some reason he's in the executive office right and he thinks

you're a peer and you're not right and what you're going to realize my little

friend okay is that when you're out in the world without us yeah you're going

to drown you're going to drown pal right you're going to drown and you're going to drown forever so if you want this

life-saving best wait what's that smirk about Carlos about drowning forever that

made me laugh but you're doing the thing too like yeah you try to make me drown that's what that laugh was you're so on

edge tonight dude I didn't what you're on edge is crazy all I I'm not on edge

all I did was laugh don't am call me on edge you're a standup comedian I laughed at your [ __ ] joke get out of here now

you rais your you're fire you're fire I'm man you actually you need me for the weeks Stay Stay okay stay stay don't

push me dude I got it all right so you made you made the bet this Indian Middle Eastern guy okay sure whatever yes you

know what I mean funny guy he's from Iran funny guy right right and you know

he's got a person he's saying that's from a different mid Midwest who has certain beliefs sure I don't I have

dinner with them that's fine fine right but he started touting off like oh for sure it's got real politic it's going to

be Trump right and you know I'm not that I you know I'm in the middle you know I was

like can I can I ask you something what's going on with the show Andrew can I ask you something please is it me no what what I'm seeing

and I'm sensing is it me no so I'm not going insane uh tap your side right now tap

the side of your leg okay because everyone in here is out of pocket you hear that my pockets are empty cuz all

you guys are out of it dude you're out of [ __ ] I'm out of pocket yeah I have no money these guys are out of pocket it is him tonight oh my God what you say

you're vibrating with like crazy energy tonight oh my God I came here with such Namaste energy like he was I came here I

came here like Steven Sagal Namaste dude Namaste and then what you're doing dude

is your [ __ ] gaslighting me you're making me feel nervous you Bobby wait why what you too now yeah like what your

energy wow what's going on wow wow you have the floor I want you

to just what what dude could I just ask you something yeah are you on my side I need

you do me a favor tell I'm being real I'm being real right now I know I

need you on my side right now take one more bite of a all right I need you let one more bite I need you to go down with me if I'm going to go down dude I'm

right here I'm I love you so much I'm right here I don't feel any support here hey I am right here I feel no support

here I'm right here okay but what is that what is [Laughter]

that hahaa ha of course I'm on your side

never leave your side I will never leave your side ever I'll never abandon you ever no fine I feel

great I feel wonderful thank you can I say something last night you got a compliment at the party we went to

Bert's house for a little surprise party that was fun although it wasn't a surprise oh can I just tell you about

that too piece of [ __ ] what did I you dog hole human what did I what did I do you you [ __ ] [ __ ] what did I do I tell

you you did what did I do I'm a couple hours away I think I'm going to be late to this thing and you

text me you have to be there by 6:30 no yeah you did I can I get the text right here you called me and you said I had to

be there at 6 there's a surprise party but what I'm saying is that so I get there at 5:50 mhm I wait 40 minutes

there's no one there I'm at Burke's house I'm just there with his wife it's

you and your brother and my brother and and Leanne ker what a what a nice moment

right but now Bert's coming at 6:30 and now I'm the only one there saying surprise

so I hear Berke come in the house and there's like yeah 20 people supposed to be there right he comes around the

corner and my brother who my bir never met Steve before and I have like little cigar case that I bought him and we go

surprise right and he laughed so hard because that was like the most UNG

glorious surprise what a comedy moment right what a funny moment he goes you're the last person I ever thought that you

would be her and then you trickle it at 650 like What's your deal Amigo okay so

give me a little bit of credit for a great comedy moment in both your and Bert's life I know you you got the text

message you didn't read it you called old Andy and you said what time do we have to be there even though it texted

us today the Evite this is when you're supposed to be there so I said to you you got to be there by 6 yes the invite

said no need to come before 6:30 yes I did had to bait you to be there before

everybody cuz I thought that'd be funny it's not it worked it did for you it was hilarious and the world okay cuz I

walked in and everybody was like what how is Bobby here before anybody else it

was perfect and by the way you're welcome he remembered it he talked about

it all night when you left he's like how cool was that that Bobby was here with his brother first yeah so you're welcome

okay and I stayed all night by the way talking with Bert and Leanne how long were you there to uh uh I think I left

at 10:40 or 11:00 wow we talked all night wow I love those people I love

them too they're great a I had to get out of there and Fitz Simmons oh my God oh my God what so Bert has Bert has

dogs berd has dogs that are so big I mean it's almost shocking you know

when you see a dog that's so big you can't believe it pit bulls they're they're like um bu Mastiff they're

Mastiffs but they're mixed so check this [ __ ] out the first picture is the first picture is of Steve Steve

uh who I'm i l more than anybody is sitting on the couch this is Bobby's brother sitting on the couch with the

dog doesn't like him that much but I love Steve look at this there's Steve

and I said to Leanne how much does that dog weigh yeah she go I go Steve that

dog is as big as you the dog is 160 lb yeah he weighs more than Steve Steve

weighs 155b dog is bigger than Steve what a beautiful dog and look at the next

picture look at how scared Fitz was of sitting next to this dog okay didn't like the drool of the petting look at his face look at his [ __ ] face dude

that was at the end of the night look at the size of that dog his head he's looking more and more like the old man from

up look at that photo dude I mean I love him I showed this

photo to my wife and she didn't have her glasses on yeah and she literally goes look at that dog and then she goes Ellen

was there last night no there's no way there's no way Acorn

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do.com badri zach.com badri I don't think you'd ever want a

dog that size but imagine that thing pulling you down the street here we go again you questioning questioning my

[ __ ] strength again dude I cannot believe today you don't have the core strength you don't have nothing what you

have nothing either dude you got to come with better than that no I'm not I don't need to I can I can come with whatever

his energy today Rudy it's wild yeah what is that you're right what is going on get him another cookie you're right

honesty you're right right I'm I'm off I'm off I'm off

I'm you know what I'll try chocolate croissant today today is wild yeah I'll take a chocolate croissant get him a

chocolate croissant please this is something big hey mcon do me a huge favor yeah have one of those [ __ ]

things loaded in the chamber yeah also can I have another thing dude um give me a Diet Coke if there is WR I'd really

like one I look at me I know what's wrong I know what's wrong my best friend

I know what's wrong what's wrong this is a this is an emotional day you wear your emotions on your sleeve Rudy

help um my birthday is on Saturday oh shut the [ __ ] up it won't be here wait

your birthday's on Saturday oh I'm turning 23 I feel old 23 oh God

you're so Haggard now you're burnt they'd kick you out of Vegas that's when I started standup Rudy jues birthday

there it is yeah so sad we'll get you something Coke what did you get what did

you get Bert for his birthday a box of cigars yeah you know that's a classy move I got eight of them yeah there were

a lot that's very expensive I went into a cigar store okay can I say something about Eric Griffin this [ __ ]

[ __ ] moves two hours away yeah he lives in uh so then he goes hey come to my house and do a pod my 300th not

knowing and then I look at the map two two hours away two hours away yeah I'm

out wait it's past Magic Mountain there's even anything up there I yeah I thought I thought that that's where it

ended edge of the Earth yeah yeah like a flat earther I thought that's where it ended you know past Six Flags there

ain't nothing past Six Flags so I got way out there and I'm like oh my I it

was so resentful because it's like that's so far drive if it was like Conan

O'Brian he would never live that maybe yeah but he's not living out there you know what I mean if it was like give me a name John store yes absolutely I'd

drive wherever the [ __ ] that San Francisco Drive San I'd walk Eric Griffin it's like that's a 20-minute

Drive send a car that's my yeah that that's the most I'll go he should have 15 20 minutes you know what I mean right

I keep seeing his ad on Tik Tok who Eric Griffin what do you mean AD what for what I don't know and your ad for the

hot sauce hot sauce or beer or something I keep seeing Oh Fireball yeah I keep

seeing you on Tik Tok the fireball ad mhm wow you're famous no but they put it

on TV I didn't know it was on Tik Tok did Tik to oh me and stavos me and the

you remember stavos remember him came yeah yeah the best by the way his movie is getting all sorts of love it's great

you SE congratulations what congratulations I not in it I'm saying

everything you've never done oh thank you look at me right now dude yeah look at me right now uhuh actually st stop

stop stop wait wait 84% audience score amazing that's [ __ ] huge yeah why no Tomato Meter cuz there's too few reviews

right cuz it's in Indie the last year yeah I've been secretly working on a a movie that's great if you there's a part

in there no no because I heard what you already said you said it and you didn't say it

what you went there's a small if you do there's a part that's how I said playback the

tape in the edit yeah play back the tape of him going there's a smart oh a smart

part oh a smart part Mr [ __ ] you know what I mean

assumptions over here there's a smart part yeah for me yeah what's the Char they smart guy oh scientist how many

pages many pages money Pages many many PES yeah you know how many pages of the

film in general 130 you wrote a 130 page comedy script yep that'll never happen

we're going to condense it you I hope so anyway to less than 90 okay how many pages am I in how many smart Pages am I

on 10 I'm me 10 yeah 10 lines how many scenes 10 lines 10 lines how many scenes

10 lines one scene it's one scene I have 10 lines small part it's a small

part this is making sense yeah yeah because you're not going to do the lead time out you're not the lead of the

movie it's your [ __ ] movie whoa whoa whoa what's this pal that

coke can I get a can or wow Bryson got that right yeah Bryson

very nice of you bud what's the premise of this movie you've put together and when you say I've been working on it secretly you haven't been at the

computer yeah but I've been meeting up with the writer telling him what to do well we go through beats of the movie

and you know mean like yeah yeah I like that his name was Mike mcgrail I love it and then so what's the premise of the

film what set in the 90s and there's a border crossing

between Canada and the US MH it's it's in Washington and it's it no one crosses

it like once a year I get two cars to cross it so there's a little B it's in the '90s and there's a little border U

Patrol like three agents that work at that little is this based on a true story yeah it's a real place okay right

and um generally the three that are there are like not the best B there's nothing to do yeah so there's like

pranks between the you know I mean the Canadian border and this and that meanwhile a real threat is coming over

great idea right and we a bunch of bumbling kind of you know I hope I

really I hope that goes cuz that would be [ __ ] rad this but there's a um a scene where

you're I'm you're not going to get me to do that I mean this from all my heart I

will never do that movie no chance okay yeah I love you I love you too man I

would that you you wouldn't do that if it was the other way you know that oh I've done it before name it every movie

I've ever been in no no if it was the other way with this with you and I yeah no no no if it was the other way if I if

okay so I know that spade and Theo has a movie right right and they might offer off for me a small part in it right I

will do it you're you're not listening to a word I'm saying if this was the other way and I did and I said we have a

small part for you you're not doing it do you get it yeah I would no you wouldn't your mind test test test no he

wouldn't what's a test I'm testing these guys cuz they know he does say yes to a lot of his friends I do it podcasts no I

did that Robert Kelly thing out in the [ __ ] thing that was terrible but this is me and you it's different than those

people you wouldn't do it if I did this thing it's funny really scene stealing

kind of part though it's not like some throwaway thing it's like you're going to steal the movie with it yeah you know

what I mean it's super funny there's violence in it I would you make me so mad I'm going to go to the theater and

I'm going to go man I wish I was in there I'm asking you for a favor dude I don't like

favors I'm asking you for favor okay you know what what okay that's fine you

throw me I'll do I'm serious you're right no you're right and I say yes now listen I'm saying yes hold on hey yeah

yeah yeah can I speak to Vic who's Vic this is I'm calling Morgan

Stanley the bank they're my loan hey guys hey Vic

are we on hey hey do you think I could pay my mortgage with

favors okay yeah our bills could I pay them with favors okay did they take favor slips okay yeah like if I can't

pay my [ __ ] mortgage this month is it cool if I say it's for a favor hold on could they do a favor for me what's up

all right Vic I'll talk to you we all right bye he's actually getting a phone call

Done Right Jean Hong you [ __ ] cut it out

you made you called Morgan and Morgan you know I'll do whatever you want I would do anything for you and let

me have a moment I'm going to call a miror though let me have a moment with you okay I mean it you know I would do anything for you anytime for the rest of

my life after this all right yeah I'm on I'm on B friends right now and and I I

think I lost get that money out and get it ready

buddy I know dude I I admit I was wrong and I lost and I'm gonna give you the

500 wrong whato man tell this man how wrong he was man he was wrong

man all right soir I love Amir yeah yeah so it's a it's cash money Andrew Cash Money 500

dude no no he said Amir what you said it was a th yeah it was a, it was $500 air if you

want to go down this road I can go down this road with you dude okay Trump America baby it's a thousand bucks

brother all right brother I I'm going to Australia tomorrow when I get back you'll get the 500 beautiful I love you

I love you buddy love you dude he's so funny by the way now I feel better because now because he was the only one I bet with right yeah yeah I feel better

good I accept it accept this you know I'm going to do the movie I would do anything for you and I mean it no look at me don't rudge me off I do a bit for

the show you're going to be so mad there's no part in the movie for

[Laughter]

you I'm kidding there is let's move onoc yeah you are choc chocolate

chocolate let's be real I'm not doing the mov I would never

[ __ ] that [ __ ] it give him the yes give him a churro please give him the give chur give me a churro put it in keep it in the chamber dud right here give it I

want a plate please give me a plate you're eating a lot no he's not you're

going to puke again I I he's already you didn't take it today

I it yesterday I took it yeah not today isn't it it's one week once a week oh [ __ ] yeah I'm gurgling you're gurgly but

I need to do it because I'm just I don't know what else cuz it's fun yeah you'll be fine you found it cuz he's this guy's

the best we don't even have oh in the cabinets yeah let me let me say this that does sound like a [ __ ]

phenomenal movie idea I really do I really like that like I think it does sound dope I think you're going to kill it they're not going to they're going to

do it why would they not I don't even understand why we don't even have a thing yet you know with the production team that they've got behind it that's

people going to want to do that but um yeah that's what my Dreamcast would be

that's your Dreamcast yeah oh they're not attached to it I just like I want

for this I want him I want him and then I what's so funny what's so funny cuz let

me tell you something about your Dreamcast with the zombie movie I knew that was coming yeah yeah yeah yeah I

don't know who these other people are but I know that who's not in it us two and now I swear to God on my

mother's life oh that's on my mother's life I will never do

it [ __ ] piss me off now dude you just lost me dude this is what you get you

piece of [ __ ] dude this is what you get I'm glad you're not I need a break from you dude I'm glad you're not going to Australia oh [ __ ] yeah you want to tell

him what he's going him and his wife and the baby are

coming how they they asked if they could make a family vacation but not the whole time

yeah no don't I know it's coming I can hear it oh it's coming we Rudy I haven't

talked to you all night I'm Sor you talk to her I need I need time how are you I'm good how are you what's going on in

your world right now um nothing you feeling you feeling good you feeling bad

what's going what what's what's the news well I'm scared for the election you are

well it's over when this podcast comes out it's over yeah so how do you feel it's over it happened

CA whatever you say yeah so I don't I'm not going to get deported yeah you will

you'll get deported regardless you will why if we have anything to do with it

but you guys are helping me we are we're going to keep you in this country for as long as let me ask you something if if there was some like you know Trump was

like you I want to get everyone out of here do you think you and I have be able to figure out her situation or no yeah

we would use like the the famous card and we'd get I think that would have to go through we'd have to go through Rogan maybe yeah we'd have to go through

somebody to keep her here yeah Rogan would I mean yeah call Trump cuz you'd endorsed them yeah please keep her yeah keep her he's not GNA kick you out he's

not gonna kick you out I promise hopefully no he's more likely to k kick Andre's out for sure at least revoke

right yeah the citizenship because you could find out what kind of trash bag he really is yeah so nothing is going on in

your world um you're in the you're in school right now yeah I don't know if I can say it but I got I got dumped by my

friends wait dumped I'm sorry your boyfriend you mean friends wait your friend tell us what happened let us be

helpful okay but you guys are also the reason why I got

dumbed what the [ __ ] did we do wa wait wait wait wait wait wait

please okay be honest remember when I told you I went to that

party uh Hermosa yeah more details I remember shis oh yeah yeah yeah those

cowboys and stuff there you said yeah and you guys said I needed new friends because my current friends were trash I

didn't we didn't say that that's insane I don't think we said that at all yeah you did we said trash I think so and

then they heard about it from who from the podcast why are they listening why

are they listening to the that's what I'm saying but then I guess they're listening and then what they say and then they ghosted me wow that's they

ghosted you they know this is a comedy pacas we're [ __ ] kidding I explained it in a long

letter apologize for hurting their feelings no no no no no are you being [ __ ] real right now dude okay I am so

livid oh my God first of all don't get me started dude what's going on you shouldn't have to apologize we're joking

we joking around and you never said anything bad you never said anything bad they didn't like that I called them party girls I want I want I it's it's

it's the re you know what I'm glad Trump won I can't I can't that's the point I

can't I can't I can't any I'm done you're done I'm done with it it's gone too far two s that I hate it they don't

want to be called Party Girls my God why is party girl is that in what world would that be like would that be

defamatory party girl I want a party [ __ ] yeah you're a party girl you're a party girl I'm a party guy I'm a party

boy yeah yeah so they didn't so wait they said they called us party clearly

so okay what did they so they called you and go we can't believe no they ghosted

me yeah but that but you're you're assuming that the ghost is attached to that so I I want to know how you know

that they saw it cuz they must have said something somebody someone from that group that's like I'm close to them I

texted her personally and then she said yeah we didn't like what you said in the

podcast and you hurt our feelings okay first of all we hurt the

feelings you didn't do that then I said party girls okay so then you said part party girls and I kind of nodded when

you said you you need new friends it's a [ __ ] it's a it's a comedy podcast I I

I I I I I I explained that I can't do it I'm out I'm I'm out explain it on a

letter nobody reads letters yeah yeah yeah yeah or let let's try to make amends now they're not going to listen

yes would they listen to the last one I don't so party girls but no I mean I don't know their

names so I don't know how to address them listen up party girls no no no how about jules's ex-friends Jules ex-friend yeah yeah

yeah listen to me right now by the way you guys are only creating a monster she's going to become a superhero now because of this right you're fueling her

fire okay so

umg oh I'm so sorry I fell off a building I hit you so hard you fell off

a building yeah dude my God this car what's your car doing on a on the on the roof was going 180 mph on the roof well

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me they have a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation that's exactly what I'm saying to you really yeah well I mean I

bet you submitting an injury claim with Morgan Morgan it's not easy is it it is so easy it is yeah dude how easy when

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ladies okay Jewels is probably one of the best human

beings I've ever met in my whole entire life fact she's a daughter to me I love her like I my own flesh and blood I

really believe that yeah me too I feel that okay and there's not a bad bone in her body in fact some of this podcasting

mumbo jumbo we're forcing her to do it really to be honest with you because she's so good you know mean she's just

perfect for the show she's brilliant she's innocent right there's just certain dynamics that work well with us

you know her personality and so we bring her on here you know I mean she's she's

game right game a lot of times um she's just kind of going along with what we're

saying she's just having fun she's having fun but is she sometimes she's not I'm having fun yeah yeah but but but

at the end of the day um you know if you take that personally come on keep going

yes all right you're goingon to die you're going to die the world is a scary

so SC I mean not like I'm not I'm just saying no we're not going to kill you yeah we're not going to kill you I'm just saying life is going to just

[ __ ] it's going to eat down on you and press you into the dirt yes all right and just smudge your face deep

into the dirt and then when you once you learn yeah yeah that Jewels is not the are you out of your mind yeah that's a

that's aad life is hard I'm so and Jules is not the culprit here we are we are we're the evil ones yes she's not

she's just having fun innocent yeah yeah and and and if that is going to sever a friendship because of a dumb joke that

him and I made yeah that's not chill yeah we know you're not potty girls we

know that you're intelligent ethical

moral sensitive sensitive for sure weak what say it a little weak weak

yeah weak a little weak weak yeah a little weak tender soft tender soft

pliable pliable yeah yeah malleable manable yeah malleable Mal I like that word valuable but malleable valuable but

malleable and look right we don't know you and we love you and we want you to know that Jules loves you we also and

she's a sensitive Soul too and she doesn't like someone taking a joke that these two morons made to heart because

we're dumb idiots we really are look at the set that we're on the set that we're on we're inside of a McDonald's I mean

give me a break we're morons morons and we're just trying to have fun and please two guys don't take it out on Jules just

having fun two guys just having fun so Jules is a great girl and if it's you know at the end of the day I honestly

believe this it's so your loss that's your loss if you don't to be friends with really because this is a rising person this is a great human yeah she's

Rising he's going to lose a great you know who she is dude oh you know who she is what you ever see Logan Logan Paul no

not Logan Paul the movie Logan oh yeah Logan the origin story Logan yeah

remember the little girl oh yes with the two claws yes right she's from Spain

she's from Spain yeah shut up on Grace okay zoom in on that that that right

there Rudy is Rudy that's Rudy cuz she loves knives right and so hey party

girls you would to [ __ ] with that I wouldn't I wouldn't [ __ ] with that I want that on my side right see that body

right there that was a party boy that was a party boy yeah yeah and she destroyed him right so if you don't call

her back you're going to have war with us that's right you don't want that you don't want that that's bad you called

her back you invite her back to Moose mckill cuties or wherever you guys go it was moose M yeah yeah or whatever right

or Sharky pizza or Woodfire Mexican food whatever it is Pitfire right right and

you go out and hang out with these [ __ ] have fun have fun and just know that you're party girls know that you

are party girls you know you know what I'm going to double down on it you are party girls you're absolutely Party Girls right and uh because we get mad at the things

we are yeah we get mad at the things we are and you got mad cuz somebody called you a party girl because you're a party girl party

girls we did a full [ __ ] we came right back to where we started we don't care yeah you know what I'm good no you

know what I'm going to go this way stop stop good don't ever talk to them again I'm yeah yeah I'm no don't ever talk to

them again I I just thought about it it's [ __ ] uncalled for you deserve cool friends that that have a that don't

care about two idiots saying something dumb yeah it's just awkward going to school cuz I

see them and then I'm oh yeah I don't want you to you know what dude don't see them well school don't see them pretty

small yeah what in school I can see them though you but I I see people that I

don't see this is know you listen to this right this is true this is true dude he did it yesterday yeah I do it

yeah I do it all the time if there's somebody at a party I don't like yeah you don't see them I see them but I don't I didn't know you were there yeah

I saw I see right through them I didn't even see you at the party see right through them yeah okay they're nothing that's great yeah you're in a movie okay

you know I'll tell you something right now there was a movie called Commando love do you remember the Commando who's

in the movie Commando um caros M does m do you know I actually haven't seen Commando yeah yeah who's in it Andre

Arnold durar old Arnolds in Commando right there's a scene in Commando well this is probably I could use probably a

million other movies yeah I don't know I don't know why I used Commando it just came to my mind yeah cuz I just remember

watching Commando as a kid and there was like a couple of people exploding in the background love right and I'm like I

always thought to myself oh that actor not much to do yeah yeah so that was

Commando Mr steel your girl but if you see that right there's a million people that die in back of them they explode they get shot up and whatever right

right A lot of times it's like that be Commando be Commando right shoot him up

shoot him up dude well don't literally but metaphorically shoot him up yeah be that guy okay and with the little Logan

girl like a combo combo deal okayand Logan you're Commando Logan dude you're

Commando Logan in fact when you turn Saturday that's your new name Commando Logan

yeah [Music]

salute that's British that's Bri there's no that's us

no that's British that's no way dude that's British this

yeah my national when you do that is that really British

no what is it that's ours thank you yeah hey yeah it's British yeah it's British

I know you're right that's all right yeah uh so I have a crush you have a little new crush it's a gay that's not gay

whoa ring the bell I finally got you to come out on this show after all these years of doing the three card Monty he

finally picked up it's a smart role it's a smart role oh it is go ahead who who's the crush Charles Milton

so it is gay no I just think he's hot what do you mean oh what do you mean

what do you mean you said no it's not gay it's not gay that's gay that's gay it's not gay how is how isn't cuz I'm I

hung out with him I went bowling with him right so you're gay no he taught me how to bowl wrong guy I've heard that

before what a guy he he he really did he's like dude the under cuz you know how I bowl and I go underhand yeah you

flip it he goes he grabbed my hand like this and he goes grip it like this right keep your eyee on the that's a date no

it's not a date dude he he showed you how to bowl yeah and he goes and then he goes just don't it's not about strength

I want more accuracy this sounds so gay no and I just looked at of his face and and he got and he smiled that guy right

there yeah and I he got so I he I learned and then I had the best score I've ever gotten that he scored well it

was me Charles Milton and Ali Wong on one team and then Jean Sunny you know what I mean from beef and some other

people on the other team and Charles Milton taught me how to [ __ ] Bowl you got a little crush and that's not a crush it's not no I'm not gay you said

crush to start the whole thing I think that he but can I be honest with you ask me if you think I think I see if

he handsome do you think couldn't even get it out I couldn't get it out ask me

yeah ask me you think do you think Charles Milton is handsome yeah and I

can say that as a hetero okay okay seems like do you get butterflies when seeing him it's not

butterfly you know here's what I got excited about can I tell you how I got excited sounds like butterflies doesn't

it yeah no you don't know what butterflies are then you do yeah I think I do and I think you look look at that

right now stare at that for five seconds quietly he was he doesn't look like that stare at that five four three two one I

can actually see it in your eyes you're having like a throwback in your eyes all

right so so you got a little crush no it's not a crush but um it's a man crush so I was at the bowling alley mhm and he

comes he has a motorcycle right so he has a helmet right he has like like one of those Wolverine leather jackets right

and he looks greasy yeah and he just came out took the helmet off and I looked and I I could recognize him

already right but I'm like you know I'm like you know I said don't don't make

the first move don't don't like just be cool you know what I mean yeah so I was just kind of like looking at sound like a girl on

a date no no no I was looking at the B so I see him I was right next to where the rack of the bowling so I was like

sticking my fingers in the holes to see which one what you think that's a thing M no I'm trying to find the right hole

yeah you're I know you are yeah yeah I know you are right and he goes he comes right up to me and he goes I'm a big fan

of yours yeah and I go you want a bowl it goes eat first so we ate first so you

had a date you had a dinner date no kene was there too the one we just talked earlier sure yeah Jean was eating with you yeah us me me Jean and Charles mhm

and we ate um was it ever just you and Charles alone no no did you want it to be no I see

this is kind of [ __ ] I'm talking about at the end of the night this is the kind of [ __ ] I'm talking take f [ __ ] photo off when he said goodbye

no leave it up at the end of the night when he said goodbye did you kind of want to hang some more well he's a talented guy I want to

learn did you want to hang some more yeah I want to learn things from him he taught me how to bowl you wanted to see him again did you exchange numbers no I

didn't do you wish you did nope is just a little cry on the internet to no no this is so stupid what you're

doing right now dude I'm not gay it's ridiculous it's okay no don't do that doesn't work whatever you're it doesn't

matter okay no one cares anyway you don't have man crushes cuz let me say something right now I saw at the party

last night dude I think you do on whom what on whom Chris Porter that's right

man crush you were swinging for you're you're really reaching I was reaching for it yeah fit Simmons yeah you and fit

Simon have a little man crushy he's a great guy we just we just love to he shits on me like the way we joke is the

way you and I joke yeah he's got great he's a great guy great Rhythm he'll talk really good [ __ ] by the way the barbecue

we had last night ajs so good so good my god dude that's the one thing I the

problem I have with can I say go ahead no go ahead here's my problem go ahead I'm going to say my problem now and want

all everyone to hear my problem say it baby okay so it's so funny because that bowling party mhm and Bert's party there

is one Common Thread and guess what the Common Thread is there was something

there at both parties and I think I know you know what it is oh yeah what is it people that don't

deserve to be there no Kidd no it's something you consume I'm kidding something you consume weed

no alcohol it's a food oh cake whose cake Tom Cruz yes Bingo Tom Cruz cake so

there's a cake coconut it's a coconut cake that Tom Cruz in all the party he

gives it as gifts apparently and he at when he goes to events like weddings and whatnot he brings his cake and

apparently it's legendary Tom Cruz cake it's called Tom Cruz coconut cake okay so so when I went to that beef party

where I saw Charles there was six Tom Cruz cakes and they made an announcement Tom Cruz cake they bring

that out right and I ate it I'm like it's pretty good yeah it's fine but then

Bert brings it out hey guys you can't believe it like they as if it was from Tom Cruz's [ __ ] yeah you I mean that

that's the [ __ ] you know I mean the the oven he does poop white you know that right it was almost as if and they're like we got it like it's hard to

find right so I waited in line like everyone yes you did I was excited you were very excited yeah yeah I get the

Tom Cruz kick again you know what I mean but I like the sheet cake better the sheet cake was

better it was so good the she cake the she cake the she cake was good that was so that was so good but the Tom Cruise

cake is good right but when you're eating it you're like if I if if I

didn't know this was Tom Cruz's cake would I go oh best coconut I ever had no

I don't think so no you go this is how it tastes like coconut cake it's a good coconut cake you ever had coconut cake I don't like coconut yeah what if they all

have like there's a matte Damon Danish oh a dam Damon Danish right like a Damon Danish do you think everyone has one

thing yeah I would love to have a Bobby Lee uh um fla oo D like at a party

people like we got it Bobby Lee fla it' probably be what something else what do

you mean flan is typically a Mexican yeah but that's what makes it in intriguing a Korean dude you know what I

mean you be like also Tom the Tom Cruz thing cake isn't something that he made

he found it the Baker and he was like oh this is my thing you think that's good way too try well C Le's FL right well

they have a carrot cake there that's mine last night I ate it it was better than the I thought the coconut cake that's Andrew Santino's carrot cake that

is well I was going to say it was Bobby Lee's carrot cake I'm I'm orange oh [ __ ] that clearly would be my cake oh yeah

maybe they have 11 pound cake I could that could be probably it's much more than 11 pound cake what lemon pound cake

oh lemon pound that's you yeah yeah I think you said 11 pound cake I was like it's that's come on I never said 11

pound cake oh no no the 11 is number you need to lose the 11 pound cake that's what it is okay lemon pound cake you're

right I'm sorry lemon pound cake that's the Bobby Lee Cake yeah not 11 you're kind of more of like a seven layer

dip that's kind of your that's they have that there then maybe I can claim a seven layer dip cake okay anyway okay

lemon pound cake Bobby Lee carrot cake Andrew Santino yeah what's Rudy what would you

have can I be a brownie that's actually really we got Rudy jules's Brownie and

they're like Rudy who no oh they won't do that I love you yeah you got to take

a bite it's like take that that was mean take a bite that was so that could be you right there what U cake you're like

blood sausage take a bite and you know what it tastes like a party girl in your mouth when you take a bite of that stuff

yeah m a party girl in your mouth now would you eat the cake if it was something that you didn't like if it was

good yeah you I mean like this is JD Vance you know croissant if it was bomb

yeah maybe like that what you don't know who made that I a real grade a bigot

could have made that it's really good though still delicious e it yeah uh oh uh oh what's going on oh he

is come on sit down Dax how are you hello Dax Dax hello hi hi hello

hello Dax how'd you feel uh last Tuesday uh good that was fun I was nervous but

that was fun you did such a great job you did a great job did feel like you did well uh it was hard to tell because

it was quite like overwhelming just like I had never done done it in front of that many people but it was fun you

killed thank you can we can we see some of it video before you play that let me what's your uh did you vote Yes okay uh

what's your prediction uh that uh Camala Harris will win

uhhuh when will this come out right now it's already over when this comes out it already Happ okay yeah so now that it's

now we're in the future now right Trump won oh okay yeah yeah yeah okay

so but you're fine yeah look at that look at that all right here we go let's watch this tape hey everyone I hope

you're doing awesome very good so far thank you clap your hands if you like the bad

friends smart I can't hear you awesome so I love going to the

aquarium my favorite thing is always just looking at all the jellyish fish but I always just wish there were some

peanut butter fish as well I um recently went through a

breakup not my fault I promise but um basically she used to get headaches all

the time and she'd get really mad at me because I'd be like don't worry it's only in your head and then she'd be like

no I really have a headache and I'd be like no literally it's just in your head all right honestly honestly so you

felt good uh yeah it was really fun did well the next step is is take it on the road okay yeah yeah did you get a lot of

good did you get a good response online to people hitting you up and like saw the show you did great yeah yeah yeah yeah people were like that's awesome you

performed there cuz people love that place we do yeah it is home to us and what's get did you get some V that night

or what uh no was that a yes no I just went and

just filmed like an outro and then went home right slept now your friend unusual

guy oh he's he's nice you're a nice guy I didn't say he's a nice guy yeah he was

very nice yeah yeah I'm just saying that he was like a little like you okay yeah yeah unique unique definitely yeah yeah

we need your help with something so Rudy we made a joke on the show as we do pretty heavily right and we made a joke

about these girls that Rudy used to hang out with right and it was that it was our fault but then they punished her by

ghosting her and becoming ex-friends because of something we joked about oh wow she needs help getting these friends

back in her life okay we've tried to apologize I don't I don't even know if we did a good job I think so but I think you can can you offer advice to her on

how to get these friends back in her life did you already look into the camera and say what you want to say to them like a a like not a I guess they

don't need an apology but maybe just an explanation right yeah no I sent like a whole letter like a long letter to them

and they still never wellow maybe uh they're not the right friends or if you

do want to still be friends with them you can just say say it to the camera well I mean here's here's the thing I

think maybe it'd be great if you you kind of told her what to say and then she can say it like what to text yeah so

why don't you look in the why don't you pretend like you're you're her and and and then maybe she can just get

something from the way you you like just rehearse it or something you know why don't you look in the camera look in this camera and go and go dear friends

or whatever hey guys I what they say I'm not responsible for I just are am

friends with them or whatever and uh go on their podcasts every week and stuff and just I can't be held responsible for

that kind of thing and let's just hang out and let's ask for their friendship back and can you just please come on and

hang out with me and here's why and here's why I have a lot to offer I'm very friendly um I we've had a lot of

fun times together and actually I might even introduce you to them sometime and y'all could discuss your differences and

uh I'd love to have y'all on the show show to Hash it out and I'll tell you what and I tell you what if you do that

you're going to have a heck of a time um because we maybe we'll go to Six Flags

afterward or we could even I or we can even go uh to the bowling alley or party

and I could teach you oh sensitive word yeah or how about listen or I could

teach you a new language like or I could teach you the new language like any that you want to know that I know and like

I'll give you an example of my English but the other one Spanish and

but here's a little sample Ola yeah May Rudi uh KIRO to Y KIRO to

or me gusta to mea I like you um e m

Amigos yeah s Mal Mal Amigos uh I also I know some Japanese and kichi

yeah talog talog my language oh okay T what is it

how do you say it Tagalog T Tagalog talog Tagalog I I will teach you that

okay and let's hear some of that just make it up talog I love Tagalog T Tagalog yeah yeah

yeah and I think you will too what does it sound like Tagalog yeah yeah like Spanish

let's hear some of it dude um I don't

uh all right that's a good letter I mean did you did you grab anything from that Rudy yeah I mean I feel like you learned

so I think you did it dude I think you really did it dude Dax what what's what what's going on in your personal life

you got any good news you got any anything coming up any any what's going on nothing I'm always just kind of

making videos and that's about it yeah which I like that I we love it I watch

them literally every week everything you put up I watch I really enjoy it what do what's your what's do you have any goals

in life that you're looking forward to um well I guess I en enjoyed doing like

standup in front of a real crowd outside of an open mic and then just maybe doing

more standup and maybe just more videos uh continuing like maybe dating stuff and

maybe oh yeah are you dating anybody now no not at all not even a little bit no

there's no prospects either no no is there a way we do you have sexual urges okay uh too much yeah yeah can I retract

yes yeah and then do you yeah yeah yeah okay okay of course okay

is there a way we could help facilitate maybe you meeting somebody uh not that I know know of why we're good wingman

we're good wingman oh maybe giving me just advice we're good wingman oh like going to a bar kind of thing yeah yeah

we can go to a bar we don't need to go to a bar we there's a ton of places we can go we can go to a bowling alley we could go we go for a hike we can see we

can see babes on a hike and what would you do to to get women to notice you if you were on a hike and saw some well if

we saw a couple of girls we' say hello do either of you know who we are and if they said no we would move on and no no no yeah I'd walk right away

and if I found a new group of and I say hi do you know who we are and they go yes we know bad friends I said fantastic

like you to meet my this is what I would do this is what I would do on a hike can I may I yeah here's let me do you for on a hike

guys guys okay go go ahead go

[Laughter] ahead you see [ __ ] don't throw up on the

show I'm about to do you almost made me do it are you going to no all right so anyway um you see a couple girls no what

I would do is I'd hide you off the trail oh that's smart no yeah hiding on a trail a hike trail that girls love that

you're not I'm not done dude I know I go up to a girl go oh my God my baby just got attacked by a [ __ ] mountain

lion Carlos right smart and they're like well yeah yeah the mountain lion's gone but can you help where's the baby come

over here they follow me right and then you're on the ground right like like is

if I'm your son yeah you are my son you're my baby okay when your arms hurt okay so do it like like yeah I go are

you okay baby I need help yeah but then once you say that I'm gone now it's just

you and the now it's you and me what happened to you baby boy uh just fell while hiking oh God do it hurt yeah do

you want me to kiss it Mountain Li oh there was a mountain lion that knocked me over there was a mountain lion that

did this to you y yep are you okay uh I think I need help well do you want to come back to my house and I have a I

have an ice pack at my house yeah for sure you'd like to do that mhm you would now we're at the house hey lay down lay

down lay down you look her this is my roommate hi I'm Sabrina she sings

Everything I sing everything she has to she has a mental anyway I got to go to work no don't go to work stay with here

with this baby that I found on the trail oh I want to give him a blow job do you

want a [ __ ] uh uh I I'm interested in

uh or yes yeah uh Mi signals wait a minute do you

want to blow J for me or my roommate or both of us uh I don't know we think about it

think about it I got to go to work uh who wants two more oh my God oh my God

me let's flip a coin okay okay heads you won give him head here we

go can I watch um she loves to trick off well get

Bloods okay can I watch sure okay

cool oh my sorry she has to eat a meal first before she gives you AOW job I'm

eating a breakfast burrito let me let me can I just finish my breakfast she always eats breakfast bros before she gives head that's like her thing sausage

and the Sriracha will burn on your penis her lips okay all right she's ready now wait

give me the orange juice here it is pull out your penis

Dax vitamin C you need it before you get some vitamin D here I go I do little

kisses on the thighs first I like to announce everything I'm

doing oh man what do you think bud I'm coming up I'm coming up I'm coming up oh here she

comes do train Cho ch ch ch ch

ch I'm I'm by the little the the twin mountains uh oh there they are here they

are the Rockies the rocky hairy Mountain oh and I'm going up the the the

the mountain the main mountain ooh that was steep well there's a white snow T oh

look snow snow cap snow cap [Laughter]

do it feel good yes thanks yeah yeah if he said that I would stop yeah

you'd have to walk yeah yeah I think I would be watch so pretty good right but I guess we're going to do that we'll take you on a hike and we'll try to get girls that way okay does that sound good

yeah any girl that's out there our very funny and attractive cool friend Dax is

open and available so send him a DM then we'll see what you can get and would I

in that scenario would I you don't have to do any of that you just going have talk to him like people yeah maybe like

um maybe not talk so much okay yeah yeah like always say yes so any anytime a

girl goes can I give you falatio don't don't hesitate and they'll never say that word they won't they'll

never use the word FIA you'll never hear that don't be listening for yeah yeah yeah yeah they'll say anything like what if I'm English can I give you falatia

yeah can I give at me your can I give you f mate what what would they say then

can I suck your con oh yeah yeah yeah can I give you a head yeah but just don't deny it just go yes immediately

you know what I mean yeah and then also um anybody really if anybody asks if

fancy asks Mone yeah and if somebody asks you it does it feel good what' you say yes no maybe not just thumbs up

maybe how about this say oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah say that ready does that feel good oh

yeah honestly dude that's that's not you got to try it again you got to do it again be real D hey does that feel good

oh yeah no no you can't laugh at her like oh yeah that's all you would say

like the Kool like the Kool-Aid man oh yeah yeah that's right Kool-Aid man okay here we go ready oh yeah does that feel

good Dax oh yeah the

better do you like how that feels

mhm you're shy huh yeah yeah and you know what they love you know what they love when they pat him on the head so

say oh yeah and then Pat them Pat her on the head does that feel good Pat the head oh

yeah yeah I'm interested see I mean I love you Dax yeah yeah is Dax does Dax

make a noise you think what [ __ ] noises no like a [ __ ] noise now ask him do you

make [ __ ] noises I don't know yeah yeah you you don't know yeah yeah okay good

Bob does tell him what are you tell him what your noise what do you mean do your noise for

him all right make him feel

comfortable is that really it not really no you want to be real

yeah don't let dude I swear to hey dude hey dude stop [ __ ] around right now

dude okay yeah it's really a serious I'm being intimate right now and I'm being real is you're laughing at my soul

you're cackling at him you're cackling at me okay okay so just look at me

yeah see you're doing it again dude you're you're Dax Dax you got to watch him you got to look at me

dud Dax Dax you're on a date you do it you do it no I think I think you should

you're great finish with his his acting is much better so go ahead go ahead yeah yeah look at

[Laughter]

him don't look away don't yeah don't look away D

oh Dax D you're ruining the moment yeah anyway we love you so much bud when we

do when we do dates on the in in the states we're going to probably bring you on 100% some of these shows and we should do a Dax dating show I think we

should yeah yeah would you like that or no uh I could step out of my comfort zone and try it I would love that yeah

I'd love to I want to find you here of all the jokes we make on this show yeah I do would love to find you love cuz

you're a rad dude I think you deserve somebody [ __ ] cool you're so [ __ ] sweet and cool you're a sweet guy can we

I would love to find someone for you if you'll let us help if you don't want our help fine say [ __ ] you guys say that right now say [ __ ] you guys uh I would

accept your help okay great I think we should do it I think we should do it we'll do a Dax dating show and by the way if there's girls out there right now

that're like I would love to be at least on a zoom to you know to hit up Carlos in the booth at gmail.com that's going

to get you uh submitt I think we should take some middles right now Carlos in the booth at gmail.com girls that want

to be on the Dax dating show we'll have them back we either Zoom you in uh we'll Zoom you in we'll Zoom you in or if you

live in Southern California maybe we'll link you guys up somehow and then the winner we're going to send to a very

nice dinner date that we'll pay for we'll pay for a dinner we'll pay for a night in a hotel whether you use it or

not okay we'll pay for car service we you know what we'll do we'll even get you a tux okay we'll get you all dressed

up for the date does that sound good oh yeah I think it's a good idea Tu seems like a weird first date thing no that's

what all the cool guys do all the cool guys do it that's what every cool guy does yeah yeah you think we're cool we

do it we tux we tux it out we got a tux what would be more impressive Rudy when a guy shows up on a first date than a

tux I mean normal clothes for you well for you

but you're not right for you're right that's the point yeah you're basic every every first date I've ever been on

I I tuxed up when you say car service do you mean limo yeah what do we think we mean now when you say limo what do you

mean yeah what do you mean limbo do you mean like a stretch limousine yeah yeah when we see when we

say limo we mean white van yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that's what we mean okay yeah it's a white a windowless van a

windowless van now when you say limo do you think people still get stretch limousines around town uh I guess not really but don't

okay yeah no one does yeah I they haven't made them in 36 years but I do think we'll get you a town car okay how

about that is that one of the like black SUVs a town car is just a black sedan okay cool but how about this do you want

us to get you a limo service for the night a stretch I'll get you a [ __ ] stretch limousine a a prom prom yeah a prom one

I don't specifically no it sounds like you want one he was a little demanding he did say do I get a limo so that's

what you want the white long yeah oh the black one what do you like long black limo or long white LI or we can do like a penguin thing where it's like

purple oh fact you know what it would be great if we dress you like the penguin like the the cartoon version with the

with the top hat black tuxedo you mean Cobble pot Cobble the Cobble pot purple

right we could be minions or you know to we I'd love to do a minion thing can we

be involved yeah will we open the door for you and your date you me mean we have

you know I could be Harley Quinn I don't know so yeah who do you think poison ivy

poison ivy you I think I'll be Catwoman Sandman Sandman Sandman that's not even

the thing no yeah doesn't matter you no I know I need to know I'll be the Riddler okay I'll really no you know

what I'll be Mr Freeze yeah be Mr Freeze perfect be Mr Freeze well this sounds good does this sound good to you Jules

you can be Bane yeah yeah perfect it's perfect well

let's wrap up the show the the right way uh Dax um if you have one and I think you do can you end the show with a joke

on camera a new joke that you've got a new one yeah you can do an old one can I pull out my phone 100% yeah I'd rather

you do that I mean I don't expect you to memorize all that stuff but I'd love you to end the show with a new joke I've

been getting fast food too much lately you know what stop for a second I'm so sorry I love your jokes right but I think a better exercise is to just come

up with something improvised okay give you a topic can I hear the premise though at least I was actually okay go ahead go ahead oh okay so whenever I go

through fast food places they they're always like uh thanks so much you know enjoy your meal and then I say you too

but I'm the one eating the meal not them it's that it's a Brian ran joke uhuh oh

I didn't know it was existed already I didn't me it does let's Twerk It twerk how about this how about this yeah

whenever I go to fast food restaurants a lot of times on the drive-thru they'll say Enjoy your meal you know how hard it

is for me to tell them it's you know how hard it is for me to not tell them to go [ __ ] themselves I think it's something

about let's hear that let's hear I have one let's let's hear you say that ready uh I've been getting a fast food a lot

lately and every time I go through they say Enjoy your meal you know how hard it is for me to not tell them to [ __ ]

themselves perfect or something arbitrary I think something arbitrary and weird cuz he's a weird guy right so

it's like um enjoy your meal they say and you go aloop GoPro Al up GoPro all the way so try all the way Ali up GoPro

all the way so try that and the joke is that that it's like just a funny random thing no it'll make sense when you say

it make sense when you say it yeah yeah I've been getting fast food way too much lately every time I go they're like

enjoy your meal and I say l GoPro all the way beep beep beep beep beep

yeah yeah do it again with the be beep again thank you and do it try to do the

best English accent you can Al GoPro all the way beep beep it's got to be British it's got to be British yeah yeah I've

been getting fast food way too much lately every time I go through the drive-thru though they're like enjoy your meal and I say I'll you GoPro all

the way beep beep and we wrote a joke we just wrote a joke and that's very good all right

let's hear the other one that's not a premise oh that was the one that was not a premise oh uh and oh yeah that was my

fault premise would be like uh like I think my phone is listening to me and then something funny or like something

about red flags or some something or so I think my phone is listening to me yeah

and from what I know they're made in China yeah so I know they can't see

me and what does that mean if these phones are really made in China yeah they can't how come the front-facing

camera lens is very round yeah that's very good I now I see where

you're going right correct yeah yeah and uh we're riffing here by the way yeah we're we're just riffing right right I

think my phone is listening to me boy I hope it doesn't I hope it doesn't hear me when

I'm when I'm what [ __ ] myself [ __ ] myself let's hear you say that yeah I I

think my phone is listening to me I hope it doesn't hear me when I'm [ __ ] myself yeah it doesn't sound right it

doesn't sound right because I think you're rushing the punch you're rushing The Punch Yeah and um how about this you know I think my phone is listening to me

thank God it's not watching me because when I'm looking at it I'm usually jerking on my dingdong can you say that be beep beep

beep be beep has to be there got yeah it's got to be it's got to be there I think my phone is listening to me

thank God it's not watching me because when I'm looking at it I'm usually jerking on my dingdong

be every time I'm looking at my phone I think my phone's listening to me okay I

I think my phone's listening to me wait I think my phone's listening to me thanks thank God it's not watching me MH

I think my phone's listening to me thank God it's not watching me because every time I'm looking at it I'm usually just

look jacking off jerking on my ding-dong beep beep

exactly that was perfect perfect dude that was perfect dud I think we got a new joke yeah so write that down every time I'm looking at it I'm jerking off

my dingdong beep beep yeah by the way go

all the way series if you do a series of jokes that end with beep beep it will [ __ ] yeah beep beep is your is your

calling like a catchphrase catchphrase yeah yeah yeah beep beep is your catch yeah well uh Dax will you look in that camera and say thanks for being a bad

friend thanks for being a bad friend right love you dude

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