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In the course of 10 days, I lost Bethany first to death, which is worse than the
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other ones. Um because it's so absolute. Um and then I lost all my friends. They
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like went from being really supportive to gone. And um I lost the church that I was a part of, people I trusted in in
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leadership. They were gone. I would describe myself now as someone who still loves God. Um, someone who still
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thinks God is and a relationship with God is so worthwhile. I literally wouldn't be alive right now if it wasn't
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for my relationship with God. Um, it's the only one who didn't bail when everybody else did. But I also am
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someone who doesn't who sees the world a lot more complexely than I did before. Um, I think absolutes are a lot more
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dangerous than I used to and I have a really different idea of how to go about being a part of transformation for other
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people. Just looks really differently. Um, it's a lot more themled, them directed instead of Tyler Deon
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charismaleled or like Tyler Deon you know insight directed or something stupid like that. I mean the last two
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years have been really really painful. One of my authors I loved reading in the last two years said, "Really devastating
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loss is going to change you one way or the other. It's just you deciding how are you going to get changed?" And I
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like to think that it's made me a more empathetic and understanding person.