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[Music]
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well well wow you mother you think you can come to my house talk
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to my boys like that send us [Music] you don't know us oh
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oh yeah no please no i said please no i'll get you citizenship you are please
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i'm sorry i don't call ice pierre this one
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that was andrew [Music] oh it tastes like whiskey and soy sauce
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you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude i'm
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[Music]
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clap the boat clap the boat clap the boat
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where did you get that from where does arsenal even come from jesus just improvised that's her you know um i have a lot to talk about
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today man all right line it up what do you got um well let's you want to start or are we starting we started a club clap the boat
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listen um number one i have to yell at jewels first yeah please okay please please please so today i go we're
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driving up here i go how's school she goes uh it's okay i go okay would you learn she
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goes i didn't go that's why i was okay yeah yeah yeah it was good because i not i was like
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she goes i slept yeah i slept in oh you missed it and then yesterday she missed did really yeah and they wrote emails to
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kalila and um her grandparents and they haven't gotten it yet yeah well that because the pigeons yeah
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that's a far away to fly no her grandmother's in my house right now oh what do you mean i thought there was no
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phillips no her clothes parents mom who lives in the philippines still your mom oh yeah
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her mom doesn't give a [ __ ] if they wrote your mom a letter saying you're skipping school what would your mom say she doesn't care well tell me what she
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would say she wouldn't say anything god damn it you want her to make [ __ ] up
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that's what the show is yeah that's the whole show so uh 57
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weeks you've been here kid what are you doing so i don't want to i don't even know i was thinking about about not bringing
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this up but um i just can't help myself because it pissed me off okay go what what's something that jules did
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no something that uh theo and brendan chob did wahapa i can't tell you what happened of
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course all right so you know my brother steve right 100 love stevie weeby everyone loves steve
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you love my brother yeah good kid right does it have a car killer piano player doesn't have a car
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lives in a nice little cozy apartment yeah cool dog yeah cool bed cool pet
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i like your brother yeah i love my brother and um so my brother um released an album he's
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a musician yeah from it's from my pops oh to my pops no he has a new one oh that just came out this game out oh nice
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so he wants to you know promote it right on so last week um fire then kid they reach
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out to him not fire the kid um the king and the sting oh yeah i know don't roll your eyes i
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didn't i didn't say that i'm gonna say that again i didn't roll my mind i want you i don't don't roll your eyes okay
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king of the sting [Laughter] i know you can't help it i get started
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yeah yeah so um so my brother's excited it's a pretty big show for him it's a huge
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promotion that show is huge album yeah so my brother doesn't have a car so they reached out to him by the way right
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he doesn't know them right they he their producer nick yeah nick right you know nick yeah right
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because hey you know reaching out so tuesday and my brother goes it's a little early can you can i just
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come a little later no theo is only in town this amount of time yeah it's got to be 11 or whatever it might
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be right and my mother goes oh you know what this is a great opportunity for me i will be there even an hour and a half early
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that's a little absurd but well he couldn't get a ride the only ride that he could get what about uber no
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he doesn't have that he doesn't have uber no he also has a thing with money what is it
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what's the thing with money what's the thing with money it doesn't have enough of it no he used
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to be like um if i was like hey we're at starbucks and i don't have my [ __ ] credit card
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i'd be like hey can i get a you know a venti can you buy me a venti you know double
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uh drink right right espresso over eyes my brother's i'll just get you grande
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you mean he's that type of guy but he's right you don't need a venti that's it i know but it's like you know it's always like you know if
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we're at a restaurant right and i'm like you know i'll have the main course but my appetizer my brother will
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just go to the waiter no no appetizer he's right because i'm paying for it he's trying to save you an extra cash
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no i'm on stevie's side it's [ __ ] good job stevie all right keep those calories out of bobby's box
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yeah but he's changing he's better at about it now but anyway so he he has a friend some poor guy
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you mean who has like you know a windowless honda civic from in 1986 who barely runs
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right how does it not have wind it just doesn't have any windows picks them up right yeah you know i mean seven in the morning my
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brother hasn't slept by the way because he's so excited by the way yeah right so he they go to you know where it is encino it's forever over forever away
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yeah from where my brother is it's the other side it could have it's colorado right all right so my brother is excited on the freeway
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and they're playing like you know they're playing hip-hop right and they're and they're probably waving their arms like this because they just don't care they don't
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care so they show up early and they go you know what let's not go there directly let's go to jamba juice
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to celebrate i get it you get it right you get it you want juice you gotta get a week ago right right so
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they drink the jamba juice and the guy the buddy goes you know hey man i got to do so just drop me off there
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and my brother goes all right so my brother goes to the the building that white building oh where they lit where they shoot where
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they shoot right the guy drives away okay all right afraid also there was some sort of like
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argument i don't know exactly what happened there was an argument about with the uh the parking attendant
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and my brother they almost got a fist fight can i tell you how crazy this is what him and i got to an argument when i was there last
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that guy when i did when i did theo show that guy yelled at me that's what i my brother said he his i
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didn't like his tone he was like you can't you can't park here i was like well i'm here for one of the something that's here he goes yeah you can't
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yeah well why you cannot park here okay okay well i said i'll go get somebody i had to go get nick nick had to come out
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and go nick you know he's oh hey hey he's on the show
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i've never had a problem with that anyway um no i love them so my brother goes and um goes up to the
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gets in the building yeah locked door's locked out yeah yeah knock's locked he waits it's 11
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no one's there knocks no one's there he calls no one's picking
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up nobody nobody then he's a little worried then finally he gets a hold of nick
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and my brother goes hey man um hey dude so i came early and you know i'm here for the king and sting and he
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goes who's this my brother goes steve steve lee and he goes oh [ __ ] i forgot
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we forgot you forgot we forgot what did you forget about him completely
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got the episode forgot wow right so then keep talking i'm listening
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what are you bummed no i'm pissed off yeah yeah yeah i'm sorry my brother's like my brother's hurt more than anything
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because he feels like you know nobody he's he's always been my brother's always been like
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i keep telling him not to compare his life to my you know i'm a comedian
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is different but it's like he does he wants respect well yeah that's everybody deserves respect he
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wants respect and he wants to be acknowledged as a human being yes right so my brother
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just cried yeah that makes perfect sense it broke it broke him hold on i'm gonna i'm gonna act really
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mad yeah okay like furious good yeah if
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hello hey what's up dude hey what's going on hey man you're on uh you're on the show
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we're recording you i just want to let you know upfront be candid with you but i got to tell you bud it is not going good the first 15
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minutes bobby has been just losing his mind he's been yelling because something about his brother and you guys didn't
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get him on the show and he's freaking the [ __ ] out right now he's mad what happened
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man i uh i can
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why do you do you disrespect me and my family
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like are we i'm no i honestly like when you look at other comedians you you probably respect
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them and you respect their time but when you look at me am i is it because i'm not funny to you or is it
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because i don't have that the respect in the comedy community or i don't know what the [ __ ] the deal is
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bro that's my brother bro i know
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and it's like he doesn't have money he [ __ ] got his way out there
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and he we are no no he doesn't want his money dude it's it's about when he knocked on that
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door and you guys weren't there my brother [ __ ] cried bro it's disrespectful
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and it's like i'm just asking you is it did i do anything personally to you to hurt you in any
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kind of way because it just seems like a [ __ ] slam on me my career who i am as a
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person and i [ __ ] have tears right now too dude it's disrespectful bro so can you
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explain yourself there's no explanation except that i [ __ ] up
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see when brendan had nothing to do with it i booked him we moved the show up because theo didn't
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come back from nashville i could not feel worse this is not said ingest at all
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what about a field what about this what about a phone call what about a [ __ ]
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phone call to my brother going hey my bad steel's not in town
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so we're gonna move this date that's what was supposed to happen and i
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just so what is it about my brother that you didn't [ __ ] do that
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nothing about your brother we're excited to have him on i hope we oh it really seems that's exciting because let me say something right now
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if it was [ __ ] tom hardy that wouldn't have [ __ ] happened
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i don't know i'm pretty dumb oh all right well you know
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i [Laughter]
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this is what i want nick nick this is what i want all right i'm going to say this right you have to book them again you got to book them again because my
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brother's trying to [ __ ] promote his album yeah and it's like it hurt it [ __ ] him but he did cry but my point is is that he
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did but i already talked to theo and brendan they i already know it was your fault
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yeah this morning they already said it was your fault and and wait a minute are you taking the fall nick are you taking the fall is it
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actually one of their faults and you're taking the fall for them because you're out here are you being like are you kidding me this is your opportunity
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opportunity blow them up if it needs to be honest yeah because i'm king in this thing till
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i die it was all on me i [ __ ] up oh dude
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to divide and conquer with you guys that like so of course i didn't want to [ __ ] it up
00:13:01
and not have them on like [Music] oh they're trying to wedge in between our relationships i see
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we're gonna whine and die and stevie yeah well that's a really good start
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nick how about this you gotta have him on you got to promote him and and he's
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going to have a really weird request i'm not going to tell you what it is but you have to adhere to it promise me you'll hear to the request
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i don't think she or brendan are coming on his podcast that was his one request no no no no that's no no when he comes
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there i'm saying oh wait so you're saying to me oh theater has already done my brother's podcast he did yeah and it's an incredible
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episode yeah and then so here's the here's what i want nick okay
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this is what i want yeah give me this will show me you know how you feel about me
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personally yeah all right number one the next i need my brother on king and the sting
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within the next month yeah that's number one if theo is even here
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no it's got to happen number two you get him an uber oh okay yeah you
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pick him up that seems like a nice in fact no you have to pick him up personally nick you got to pick him up personally yeah you show him that just to show you
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how long it took him to drive from where he lives to the place and back all right so you have to
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you have to travel those miles do him right nick just let me let me finish right
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and you gotta get frankenhead you have to get frankenhead on my
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brother's podcast i'm actually not familiar but i'll do some digging
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okay so we love you i love you nick nice love you thank you for doing it we we will handle
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all those requests but not because we give in to terrorists because i just feel that bad nick and nick nick nick nick
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skating on some thin ass it's nice it's water it's water are your feet wet nick because you're in some deep
00:14:58
[ __ ] right now so let me tell you one more thing nick can i tell you something yeah
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all right i hung up on him good was that too harsh yeah at first it was
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really fun it really like shook me a little bit i'm not going to lie wow like honestly i'm not going to lie
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it was really good like genuinely were you how did you feel i felt sad for him
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yeah yeah yeah because i was i was going to get worse well i know and i'm glad you didn't i was going to go work he said he was
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like bobby i was about i was about to go like you know i mean you don't know my lawyers i was going to go lawyers you know i mean how deep i go
00:15:33
in the show you can tell he is full-on panicked yeah that was fun full-on panic
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good dude nick great dude and uh really let it slip i mean talk about oh
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i mean talk about he really was apologetic though he was he was scared he was very honest he was scared i loved how scary he was
00:15:50
you know why that is why because we ha the way that we are with our staff with uh fancy yeah and with newbie
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pdp who you haven't made fun of yet we do need to make fun of pete yeah a very here's here's a very odd looking
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man let me say but we show respect for him yeah i don't even know who he is oh yeah i know
00:16:08
so i think that should say a lot okay you know what you know when i see him i go i don't know who that is i don't want to introduce myself bobby
00:16:13
said he's a guy that i've seen before here right he's been around here yeah a couple of weeks yeah yeah yeah i think i vaguely
00:16:19
bobby said bobby's texted me and said hey i'm going to be 10 minutes late is andres already there i said yeah fancy's here and he
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goes what about paul and i said pete is here too oh yeah yeah i said paul what how's paul
00:16:29
going to be pete will be here for sure paul can't show up what's your last name who cares
00:16:37
he has a present for you guys [ __ ] you what's your problem is your present pete what is your last name so we have
00:16:43
it what is your last name petey what
00:16:48
foreskin what is that what does he got he's got a gift for us
00:16:54
oh my god have you ever tried these no what is smelly salts these are bananas so what does it do these are like what
00:17:01
athletes use before games they put them under their nose and it and they they wait like it like shocks your body
00:17:06
all right go ahead can you die from these no no and then we all die have you ever
00:17:14
seen it what do you do you have to crack them right crack it up crack it open how many are there to crack open oh we
00:17:20
all get one oh i want one you want one yeah i've seen this is when like people are like passed out
00:17:27
yeah yeah you use it to wake up right we do it at the same time no why
00:17:33
not one at a time okay so jules go ahead okay
00:17:39
you you crack it like that and then you sniff it it says crush here they have a it has a little dot where you put your fingers
00:17:46
and snap it in half oh i already ripped it
00:17:58
is it that bad bad
00:18:04
really i i think i'll die if that's what did that she's a young woman wait a minute what
00:18:09
what did it smell like um piss it smells like piss smells like best can you go for next
00:18:15
i don't really want to do it you have to do it what do you do you spray it and put it
00:18:22
up yeah oh
00:18:30
[Laughter]
00:18:39
what is it it smells like piss really it smells like hot i gotta try it i got like a hot hit a piss right in
00:18:45
your mouth all right cool you get a good sniff you can't avoid it
00:18:51
put it up near your face hold up go
00:18:58
oh my god oh my god that was intense smells like
00:19:04
[ __ ] oh my god i love it why is mine red mine's red too oh oh my god
00:19:11
i have the smell in my nose how do i get the smell out of my nose i love it it's ammonia oh my god it's so
00:19:17
good you want another one yeah okay oh my god that's so good you want one
00:19:23
jules no no wait wait we want i want andres to do it too andre
00:19:29
it's your birthday you got to do one get in here and do one two three oh my god that was so good they are kind of fun it's fun it's like
00:19:34
a drug or something cool man my eyes are watering andres i want you to come do one that was intense all right hold on you sit
00:19:39
yeah that was indeed sit in my chair sit in my chair yeah yeah wow that was good do it while we sing
00:19:46
happy birthday to you ready yeah yeah okay uh one two three birthday
00:19:52
to you happy birthday to you happy birthday
00:20:01
fancy beef happy birthday to
00:20:06
you oh my god here we go no no no no no no it's all over his
00:20:12
house yeah it's a funny it's such a nice it's a fancy cake for fancy b
00:20:18
happy birthday fancy better help you know andrew um during this pandemic
00:20:23
this is the thing that really got me through yeah it really is it's like you know i never really had therapy before
00:20:28
this and this is a really good service here it is i really do believe in it bob and i have spoke about mental health on the
00:20:34
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00:20:41
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00:20:47
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00:20:53
you can switch to somebody else uh to find the best fit for you betterhelp wants you to start living a
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00:21:05
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00:21:28
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you know betterhelp.com my freezer andrew yes it's filled with the butcher box filled with me because this is all i eat
00:21:48
yeah you know i eat vegetables and butcher box meat yeah that's well that's all you need is veggies and meat baby
00:21:53
that's what you got to do i have uh i've eaten all my butcher box i'm waiting for them to send some more because i'm a fatty fatty and i like
00:22:00
eating as much as i possibly can each month if you sign up for butcher box each month they send a box of high
00:22:06
quality meat for a better price than the grocery store it really is better truly i'm dead here giving you um more
00:22:13
time to spend cooking and sharing delicious high quality meals with family and friends i think that's what life's about
00:22:19
that's what it's about baby sitting together breaking bread at the table but don't break bread bake some meat all right um i've tried the the recipes they have
00:22:26
on the butcher box website which is also very good you can do it your own way when you get the meat at your house cook it on the grill put in the oven put in a
00:22:31
pan but they also has really cool creative uh recipes online which i need because i'm not a smart person so i don't know
00:22:37
how to cook on my own yeah i need people to go this is the easiest way to put it together the meat is free of antibiotics and added
00:22:43
hormones has none of that they got about 10 pounds of meat per box enough for 20. it's also packed super fresh yeah frozen and vacuum sealed
00:22:50
so it stays that way right to your door 100 grass-fed and finished beef free-range organic
00:22:56
chicken heritage pork wild-caught alaskan salmon and sugar and nitrate-free bacon that's
00:23:01
the way meat should be delicious and natural and good you get the highest quality meat for around six bucks a meal which is way cheaper than
00:23:07
whatever you're getting at the grocery store and they'll ship all over the nation even nationwide except alaska and hawaii
00:23:13
yeah sorry you guys sorry right now butcher box is offering new members ground beef for life oh my god that's the lotto
00:23:20
that's two pounds of ground beef in every box for the life of your subscription just go to butcherbox.com
00:23:26
bad friends that's butcherbox.com bad friends oh if you you can still if you still keep smelling it
00:23:31
[Laughter] it's still in it is it yeah is that in crack a new one double down no no no no
00:23:37
no i'm not gonna double this is good right smell it you like it i kind of like it it's ammonia it smells like it's oh my
00:23:43
god that's so good happy birthday fans happy birthday fans fans how old are you baby
00:23:48
do you guys wanna guess oh yeah um the jewels first 36. that's a pretty good pretty good
00:23:56
it's a pretty good guess because i was gonna go i'm gonna say 35 38 41
00:24:02
wow fancy is old yeah yeah you look good for 41 fans yeah yeah
00:24:09
i don't look like george you don't what look like george george is haggard yeah but by the way
00:24:14
george when he has a baby i guarantee you he's gonna look so much worse when he comes in here oh he's going to look like yeah he
00:24:20
already doesn't sleep he already has anxiety he already threw the roof with him like mitch mcconnell [Laughter]
00:24:27
what if he gets really fat i would love it if george got fat yeah you know what i mean if he plumped up i do want to address and it's probably i
00:24:34
know there's a comedy podcast but i do have to address that um the atlanta shootings
00:24:39
i mean because you had you know an uptick of asian americans
00:24:46
being assaulted you know what i mean in the american streets right was it 500 i don't know i have no
00:24:53
idea yeah and then um you know and you know old men are being shoved to the ground i
00:25:00
think a couple of people died and then now you have this mass shooting but get this
00:25:05
it wasn't it they're saying that it wasn't a hate crime do you know why hmm do you know why you killed them i
00:25:10
know literally no almost because it just happened this is what he said he goes i'm mad because i have a sexual
00:25:16
addiction [Music] so it's a sex crime yeah i don't know
00:25:23
what i'm saying i don't get it it's not a hate crime because he has a sex edition but he killed one kind of people no because he goes to brothels all the time he went
00:25:30
to massage parlor okay time out you i love this i know why are you mad
00:25:35
at me for no no no no i'm just what are you i didn't do anything no i'm saying the justification of something made me
00:25:40
made me feel good because somebody told me about it today i wasn't on the new i wasn't on my phone almost all day today doing anything yeah yeah
00:25:47
and somebody told told me about it and i said wait seriously and they were like yeah some crazy [ __ ] dude i guess
00:25:52
shot up you know a bunch of spas and massage parlors yeah or was it one or a few
00:25:57
three three right and he said shot up a few and i was like whoa and then i immediately said is it like a
00:26:04
those kind of massage parlors and the person that told me was like why the [ __ ] would you say that i was
00:26:09
like no i mean you know what i mean those kind of seedy massage parlors that have sexual
00:26:15
things so my instinct wasn't far off that's why he would go to these places and get sexual favors
00:26:20
and then he was he was angry about his addiction so he took it so i was right right it was sexual
00:26:27
driven right but i knew it there's so many different things you do i think i don't know i might be wrong i'm not
00:26:32
all those massage problems give out sexual violence but they're known for that a lot exactly and in my mind i mean i'm not a
00:26:38
you know a sociologist or you know a psychologist but i would think or something or psychology or there
00:26:44
would be a couple of things you would do before murder like maybe
00:26:50
jerk off yeah jerk off yeah jerk off jerk off right read a book there's so many
00:26:56
different things well that guy's not gonna read a book okay no [ __ ] the book right
00:27:04
what was that what was that i just coughed why because my throat was kind of itchy
00:27:13
in the middle of this real serious thing it's so crazy we're doing us we're trying to have a moment and be
00:27:18
respectful it's insane it's like it also just brings back like how hard
00:27:25
it was for me you know i don't i try not to think about it because i have my life is so good right now but it's like you know it was hard for
00:27:32
me as a kid you know i mean when kids threw ice when i was in minnesota they used to
00:27:37
throw ice at my head and go get them eskimo right and i'm
00:27:44
running you know what i mean and they're throwing like shards of ice at my face i remember anyway i remember catch
00:27:50
the eskimo yeah yeah yeah yeah or like you know what an insane they would do that yeah yeah
00:27:56
or one kid one kid right i was at the best stop yeah i was living in minnesota did you ever yell back i'm korean
00:28:01
no you don't know because i thought maybe i was i mean if they're accusing me of it i'm
00:28:06
the eskimo i'm a kid i don't even know what an eskimo is yeah i guess right so i'm going i don't know what it is but i don't want shards
00:28:12
of glass on my face i remember one time like i was at the bus stop and a kid put bird food on my head why i'll tell you
00:28:19
why at first i was like giggling because i thought this guy never really really pays attention to me
00:28:25
right and all of a sudden crow black crows started pulling my hair and my backpack
00:28:32
right now i'm not kidding you this is a pixar movie and then we flew away up into the sky i
00:28:37
didn't play away but i remember doing this right and then i remember that night my dad took my backpack
00:28:42
because i was explaining him they put bird foot on my head and my but i swear to god this is what my dad does then you have to do this
00:28:48
then he goes you have to do this and he took the backpack and he started swinging around like this
00:28:54
it broke our [ __ ] chandelier i remember him doing that he teach you how
00:28:59
to fight yeah he goes you you let them do that but then you have to take the back bucket and the bird and you have to do this
00:29:05
because not fight the kids the kids fight the birds to fight the birds right but i remember all that crazy [ __ ] you
00:29:12
know what i mean yeah and as a kid you you you dealt with a lot of [ __ ] you you go through every moment you deal
00:29:17
with it and you know for me it's like i didn't deal with it in a you know violent way to get angry i didn't
00:29:23
chose weird you know the guy that showed up virginia attack you know i just kind of went i'm going to use humor
00:29:30
it's a defense mechanism totally but some people are crazy here's the problem though you're talking rational about an irrational person this
00:29:36
guy killed people for no other reason than he's a he's a nut bag it's not because look a part of it may be a racial problem right obviously but the other
00:29:43
part of it is he's sick he's mentally sick he's unwell something's wrong with him he targeted asian people right yes it's
00:29:49
a hate crime on top of that he the machine's broken it's [ __ ] up something's really wrong
00:29:56
i mean the only what honestly yeah
00:30:01
what would drive you to murder like for instance if somebody murdered anybody i love
00:30:06
all right so if you hurt someone i love if you if you murdered my parent my parents my sister if you did anything to my family i would forgive
00:30:13
i would i would i would stop at nothing to kill you and i'd have your head and i would walk around town with your head like this yeah yeah yeah
00:30:19
i just like yeah anybody who hurts my family i would do that in a heartbeat like in medieval times your house would have like spikes
00:30:25
with heads on 100 of the front yeah yeah if you try to attack my family medieval times like you killed my brother
00:30:30
yeah i'm going to kill your entire family and anybody who knows it's two and i'm putting your yeah you
00:30:35
asked no but what i'm saying to you is this all right let's suppose we're in medieval times here i am right
00:30:42
you're in a kingdom or whatever yeah i'm in ireland right and i'm in china
00:30:47
i guess i don't know where i don't know let's say i lived in ireland too yeah make you an irish guy oh my god and my brother steve who's
00:30:55
just you know stevie weeby yeah yeah yeah my brother steve kills your brother yeah okay and i'm and
00:31:01
i'm like when i find out about it i go what the [ __ ] did you do steve
00:31:06
like i'm bummed about it right right but then all of a sudden you would kill me and my own family correct
00:31:12
guilty by socialism guilty by association that's not right though think about that remember in high school we had the athletic code the athletic
00:31:17
rule of code was if i was at a party and i wasn't drinking even if i wasn't drinking or doing drugs yeah if it got busted i got suspended from basketball
00:31:24
because i was there but i say i'm sorry as i'm driving a spear i'm sorry but you know what really tears
00:31:30
me up when i watch because i watch a lot of court stuff on you know like the craziest court you know in case yes right
00:31:37
and the ones that always get me and this is how so cheesy is when like you know a serial killer
00:31:43
kills a man's daughters like two dollars and the man does his like um what do you call it his um
00:31:50
deposition but he does a testimony at the end sure he gets he gets a chance to talk and he looks at
00:31:56
the killer and he does i just want to say i forgive you and i love you man you're my brother
00:32:02
what yeah when they when they forgive never no i'm just saying i never you killed my
00:32:07
kids no no no listen stop i'm just i'm not saying you're in the [ __ ] video i'm just saying i am now when i see the videos and when they
00:32:14
when they forgive it makes me really emotional pass no thanks well then you're not involved
00:32:21
there's so much hate there are you kidding me anger you kill my family of course i'm gonna i'm gonna do everything in my power to kill you
00:32:27
i'm not saying that i would [ __ ] forgive them either i'm just saying you said when i watch the youtube videos when
00:32:33
they go look at the guy and they go i forgive you insane i always cry that's all i'm saying that's insane people what
00:32:39
would you do jules same as you yeah thank you see my girl
00:32:44
torture first torture first she is the [ __ ] with what knives
00:32:49
yeah like um peel them off and then cut their balls and bakes
00:32:57
yeah you would peel their balls and dicks and then their nails i'll take the knife their nails off that's dope that's dope and teeth
00:33:03
and teeth yeah one by one though one by one and then the eyes how do you scoop out the eyes my hands
00:33:10
oh yeah you don't usually use a utensil when you got a spoon yeah what else
00:33:17
maybe their ears oh yes slowly sever their ears leave the ears leave
00:33:26
see i knew you'd be on my team if somebody hurt someone in your family you would stop at nothing to get them right that's right how can you forgive that
00:33:33
because my brother is a snapper head too you know my brother's a snapper head and my brother like i was whenever
00:33:38
like when i found out about the the women that were murdered today or yesterday if that was my mother
00:33:45
come on my brother i wouldn't even i would be so scared you would call the cops and go you have
00:33:50
to get him yeah i would be so scared my brother would go into a red zone and i don't know what he would do see that's
00:33:56
what i'm saying you ha you need people like you and you need people like us you need to exist you think i'm a pansy
00:34:02
then it's not a panda maybe that don't do that no no i want to know you view things differently you're more balanced what's a colombian
00:34:09
necktie huh i don't know andres has got to know he laughed about you know what a colombian
00:34:14
necktie is no i think it's this is it a torture device no colombian necktie is cutting it's a form of post-modern
00:34:20
mutilation in which a victim's tongue is pulled through a deep oh my god through their neck so it looks
00:34:26
like a it's pulled through a deep cut beneath the jaw and the t and the dangling neck oh my god
00:34:32
yeah it's a columbian necktie it appeared in colombia during the period known as la la valencia la valencia which is which
00:34:38
is a city here in southern california la valencia as a method of psychological warfare and designed to scare and intimidate so they
00:34:43
pull your tongue through your throat throw your throat whoa that's that's pretty cool [ __ ] wild pretty cool you know what i would do i would do i
00:34:49
would make up one called um you know yeah the tail and you take a
00:34:55
guy's dick right right and you shove them this way behind you yeah tuck it behind you yeah
00:35:01
no through the body oh inside out oh yeah it's inside out and you stick it out of the ass
00:35:08
right so the guy's dead with a little [ __ ] you know i mean bloody like inside dick out of his [ __ ]
00:35:13
and they would know it was me they was it was bob oh my god that was bobby that's bobby the tailgate the tailgater yeah yeah yeah i was thinking
00:35:19
i'm thinking about like what would be a good thing to keep out of the human body if i like was proud of it and i wanted to show off
00:35:25
i think she said the eye is very that's very difficult but how do you do you well a dried eyeball would disintegrate you
00:35:30
don't got a mason jar you throw it in a mason jar oh you just have jars or like a [ __ ] witch around i haven't i have mason jars
00:35:36
at my home you don't have a mason jar they're not full of [ __ ] human eyeballs i that's where one would go oh yeah yeah
00:35:43
because you could go get embalming fluid you can legally get embalming yeah and you would just put it in there and preserve it maybe like
00:35:48
shrunken head does that take a long time i mean months i guess
00:35:54
how long does that take i i always love shrunken heads you know because you have the whole
00:35:59
thing yeah it's right there but it's smaller it's like how long does it take to shrink ahead the shrinking process doesn't take long at all uh the ritual side of things on
00:36:06
the other hand would usually total about six days for the head to shrink they would be boiled for only about two hours boiling it for too long
00:36:12
would leave it ended up gooey and destroyed yeah look at an image of a shrunken head imagine you got to set a timer for the
00:36:17
head yeah wow let's see yeah like i would do that that's like a
00:36:24
real head yes it is unfortunately yeah it certainly is yeah yeah yeah which one could happen do you think
00:36:29
we do do that yeah that's way because if you had like you mean a tooth
00:36:36
right you could get that in any er people would be like that's not him that wasn't his team [ __ ] head undeniable it's like i did
00:36:42
that yeah there's no way you can look it's charlie river right because he has like a mole right that's
00:36:48
such a gross photo that's insane let me see the other ones oh my god oh my keep going down keep
00:36:53
going keep going down oh like that one that one to the right to the right that no no left that one that's incredible that's
00:37:00
not is that a shrunken head it says it right there oh my god oh they drew on it you're right right
00:37:06
right there you can draw on it it's like arts and crafts oh right yeah it's like it's like a bill
00:37:11
it's like the pottery thing where you um color me mine yeah that looks cool man uh that's gross
00:37:16
let's get out of here this is grossing me out so much crack open a new one kid yeah this one lost its edge
00:37:22
that's a new one crack up in a new one please
00:37:29
[Laughter] it kind of stings a little bit oh
00:37:36
that one was wild oh it wakes you up you know how
00:37:43
have you been catching up with the voice or american idol i watched uh la i lost i watched um last
00:37:50
chance you last night instead what's that oh my god so good they did it it's about community college
00:37:56
the original one was about community college football players who got it who get pushed out of big d1 schools because of
00:38:02
their behavior or their academics and this is kind of like their last chance at getting back to a big
00:38:07
university and they do one here in east l.a east la community college and these stories will break your soul
00:38:12
next week is hollywood week on american idol because all the auditions just ended and
00:38:18
next week hollywood week starts so i'm excited about that why don't why don't we audition for american idol because i can't sing you [ __ ] yeah we can no we
00:38:24
can't yeah we can not at that level try okay
00:38:30
try i gotta get lyrics i don't even know lyrics is it ready we should make jules sing again we miss when she sings it's my favorite
00:38:36
jules bring up a song there she goes sitting in the morning sun
00:38:44
i'll be sitting when the evening comes
00:38:50
nice watching the ships roll in is that how it goes yeah yeah yeah then i'm watching them roll away
00:38:58
again i'm sitting on the dock of the bay
00:39:07
watching the time roll away ooh i'm just sitting on the dark of the
00:39:16
bay wasting time that's really good are you seeing one
00:39:24
that was really good okay it was you ready for mine yeah go ahead
00:39:29
be as cool real like you're really auditioning okay so let me let me because i watch the shows all the time let's be the judge
00:39:35
okay hi um what's your name hey i'm andrew hi andrew where you from 37. tell me about
00:39:41
yourself man how long you've been singing yeah i'd love to be i'm i'm glad i'm here yeah i know how long you've been seeing i'm nervous in front of you lionel
00:39:47
richie this is my first time in since oh all right all right buddy just we're last calm down we've all been in this place you haven't you're
00:39:53
been so good since you were born yeah that's funny pal so um what are you gonna be singing for us today
00:39:58
today we'll be singing and not unfortunate today i'm gonna be singing it's not an original song sir yeah yeah but it is my
00:40:05
favorite song and it inspired me to become a singer myself okay well let's hear it okay okay
00:40:12
i get knocked down but i get up again and you're never going to keep me down i get knocked down
00:40:18
but i get up again and you're never going to keep me down thank you but i but i thank you
00:40:26
i still can i just do this no he drinks a whiskey drink he drinks a vodka drink security he drinks a lager drink security
00:40:31
drinks he sings his songs never mind about the good times he sings the songs that remind him of the best times
00:40:38
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they very much so do i got my box of awesome and give me an adventure one i gave you an adventure well i gave you a bag for travel because
00:42:25
it was really nice because would you like to go to joshua tree and i love it you can pack stuff in there the they've got uh cooking tools and
00:42:30
outdoor gear that i put in there for you oh no you know you also gave me one time uh uh one with grooming goods with that i used it all
00:42:36
you did you really i used it all you do groom very well yeah i got myself a whiskey decanter and some stuff
00:42:41
for the home i really do like this stuff it's really cool uh you just take a quiz at box of awesome.com and your answers are gonna they're great
00:42:47
for gifts is it not no it's a great gift yeah because it's like you don't have to think you know they do it for you all these things
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00:42:58
ton of different categories it's totally free to sign up you can skip a month cancel do whatever you got to do but it's cool for you or
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box can we do it again i'm being real yeah and try to really sing a song as if you're really going to try
00:43:28
to what's wrong with tub stuff no no no no no no i want you to sing a whitney song or something that i really want you to
00:43:35
try your best to get through a whitney song this is the heart honestly imagine
00:43:40
you're [ __ ] imagine this right okay imagine they said you know if you you have to try your
00:43:48
best okay or all your whole family's gonna get sick are you serious yeah okay here we go all
00:43:54
right so i'm going to do the introduction again at the interview first okay i just did
00:44:00
the theme jesus hey um welcome what's your name hey andrew
00:44:05
uh how you been singing pal since i can six years okay what are you gonna be
00:44:11
singing for us today one of my favorite song songs of all time one of my favorite movies okay go ahead please
00:44:24
don't i'm not your parents are getting sick okay
00:44:30
tell me something boy aren't you tired i mess it up
00:44:38
tell me what tell me something boy aren't you tired of trying to
00:44:45
fill that void do you need more
00:44:52
ain't hot keeping is so hot cool hey man i'm not gonna [ __ ] laugh when
00:44:58
you do it yeah you're next now yeah you're no and i'm done now now it's your turn go ahead all right go ahead all right so
00:45:05
next contestant come on i was really going for it yeah yeah that one what's your name hi i'm jules
00:45:11
hi jules where are you from this will be good i'm from cebu
00:45:16
where's that where is cebu where's that philippines the philippines wow are you a refugee yes oh my god why
00:45:22
did you come over here they love heartfelt stories yeah why did you come to the united states because i want to be a singer oh wow
00:45:30
that's great how were you able to come over here financially are your parents financially stable no i just
00:45:36
walked through here you walked the walk you walked from the philippines all the way here
00:45:41
yeah wow i get it i get it through the barracks straight
00:45:46
you walked all the way up to the bearing straight yeah yeah yeah did you see any eskimos yeah you did all right so what what what
00:45:53
are you going to be singing for us today i will be singing my heart will go on dion
00:46:06
every night in my dreams i see you i feel you
00:46:15
that is how i know you go on far across
00:46:23
the distance and spaces between us
00:46:33
you have come [Music] go on go
00:46:41
come on come on this is the big part this is the big the only part that matters how you're going to get in all right you want to take it to
00:46:46
hollywood or not kids ready [Laughter]
00:46:52
[Music] wherever [Laughter]
00:47:03
what is that song called my heart will go on i want to see if i can read titanic i want to see if i can reach
00:47:09
that that chorus to to near far yeah yeah right
00:47:15
yeah i'm going to try here wherever are you you got to pull the mic away ready here
00:47:22
we go near far
00:47:31
wherever you are i believe that the heart does
00:47:38
go on once more
00:47:47
you open the door and you're it something like that that's
00:47:54
really like that was okay no honestly it's not okay that was okay i thought it was really good you want to try it i can't i can't do
00:48:00
that any justice that's like one of the best that's genuinely shut the [ __ ] up you know what's so funny what happened we were driving here
00:48:06
i get a honk from behind right and i look in the rearview mirror and i go what the [ __ ] is going on and she was
00:48:12
like just keep driving and i pull over
00:48:18
yeah right and you and she goes what are you doing to the puppy roll down guess who it was who i'll show
00:48:24
you he just left me a message [Music]
00:48:30
who is that dean delray uh really yeah oh dude he was right behind me oh he was yeah
00:48:36
and he goes you talk [ __ ] about me on your [ __ ] podcast that's good he listens yeah wait what
00:48:41
did you say about him on the podcast i don't remember can i read you
00:48:46
something i was just looking up funny lyrics of of songs to sing remember the band 311 listen to these
00:48:53
lyrics i'm not singing this i'm taking you're important turtles i love porto do you have a have something really yeah it's his birthday
00:49:00
yeah but i also want some yeah i was going to give you some wow let me you want me to give you a
00:49:06
slice andres andres what's your favorite song
00:49:11
redmo what is it ritmo that's good that that broke how do you spell that ritmo
00:49:18
ritmo by who black by black eyed peas oh let's hear the
00:49:25
lyrics for this song that he likes so much oh it's in spanish spanglish
00:49:40
baby baby tonight's like fuego we bout to spend a dinero we party to
00:49:46
the extreme oh baby
00:49:55
baby tonight's the night i life wiggle i wanted to sing it for his birthday is
00:50:00
it really good give me a fork or something like it's a custard or something well should we let
00:50:05
him have some because it's his birthday do you get any andres because it's your birthday sure my god it's good
00:50:11
come in here and get some for your birthday man can you give me a fork yeah of course well there's a spoon there's spoons over there who's who
00:50:16
brought spoons from their house did you do that andres it's a custard it's beautiful you have to cut this
00:50:22
yourself because uh bobby broke the [ __ ] uh bobby broke that uh you know what's so sad about this show
00:50:28
uh he bought his own cake this is called tres leches
00:50:33
this is tres leches cake yep is it really yeah this is really good
00:50:40
how do you make tres leches cake do you know all right so what's this what what is this so we have a game for rudy
00:50:46
yeah to see if she can complete some of america's most famous lines tv
00:50:52
and oh this is so good this is so good right okay so rudy's got a room if you don't
00:50:58
know what you have to fill in the blank yes all right so here we go all right rudy um i'm going to read the first one to you
00:51:04
and then you're going to fill in the blank ready magic mirror on the wall who is the
00:51:10
fairest fairest one of all that's right wow bing bing bing yeah all right
00:51:16
frankly my dear i don't give a damn wow i'm gonna do the next one okay go
00:51:24
i'm gonna make him uh
00:51:30
say it again i'm gonna make him uh he can't refuse so i'm going to make him a
00:51:38
spider i'm going to make him a spider he can't refuse that's exactly what it is how did you know that you seen that movie i don't know it's his second
00:51:44
spider-man movie was it second or third it was a third spider-man right so in this third spider-man movie
00:51:50
movie he looks at um was it sandman i think it was the sandman yeah yeah he said i'm gonna make it oh the sandman
00:51:56
goes i'm gonna make him a spider he can't refuse that's true yeah so all right so go ahead bob read the next one
00:52:01
may the be with you what made the odds be with you and that was
00:52:07
in that was in casinos you know maybe the odds be with you yeah it was a man dressed in black
00:52:12
yeah and he just walked up he walked up walked up to de niro smoking and he goes may
00:52:20
go ahead you do the next one mama always said life is like a box of chocolates exactly let's not do the
00:52:26
accents because we don't want to give anything away yeah all right just read it as bobby yeah go ahead um houston we have uh
00:52:36
houston we have uh go ahead houston we have uh this baby that's exactly what it is and
00:52:43
what movie is that from movie was that from three men and a baby three men and a baby because because houston right that was the mother's was
00:52:50
the mother maiden name maiden name and she was having a baby yep right and the father says houston
00:52:56
because the mother's laying there yeah we're having a baby we're having a baby she was drunk and he was saying how inappropriate it was
00:53:01
uh go ahead bob bond james bond yeah very good say hello to my
00:53:08
little sister say hello to my little sister exactly and that movie
00:53:17
kate blanchett was in it and robert downey jr robert downey jr right yeah say hello to my little stars yeah
00:53:23
so uh go ahead i love george clooney he's an old-fashioned movie star he he suck my what
00:53:31
yeah this is good he sucks he suck
00:53:39
my ice cream yes exactly that's pretty close actually i think i think it was actually gelato
00:53:46
but yes i love george clooney he's an old-fashioned movie star he sucks he sucked my eyes my gelato yep
00:53:51
perfect just having a little cockadoodle do pretty close pretty close andres what's
00:53:57
that one from oh and you know the previous one the previous one was from the dictator
00:54:02
that's my line yeah that's your line yeah yeah you know do you know what the next one's from from the movie you did it's from
00:54:07
when i did i'm dying up here i'm dying up here yeah i was smoking weed and i said just having a little cock-a-doodle-dooby and i was smoking weed in the morning i see guess
00:54:14
who made up that line who me very good i'm the blank of the world i'm the
00:54:22
i'm uh the irony is staggering because we just did this it's insane yeah we literally just
00:54:28
talked about this movie i'm the blank of the world i'm the best of the world
00:54:33
the best of the world yeah bobby you got to take this one for obvious reasons wax on wax off pretty on the nose that's
00:54:40
pretty nice pretty easy what movie would that be from wax on wax off do you know
00:54:48
bees because they obviously wax on there's wax and then you take it off from them right right back
00:54:53
uh e.t blank home i don't know this um e.t you know to be fair this is
00:55:01
really tough it's not no no i mean i mean for her to just guess it's alien slang so yeah
00:55:06
yeah e.t because it's in first of all it's improper english it's also a difficult word to say right because
00:55:13
it's a technical yeah it's technic technology yeah go ahead
00:55:20
very sciencey bob e.t
00:55:28
i mean really at this point throw it out there you said you fancy well you said ice cream once again
00:55:37
galaxy home have you never seen the movie e.t
00:55:43
galaxy home galaxy that is what he said right he's his galaxy yeah yeah yeah well that's
00:55:49
exactly where he lives he lives in the galaxy this one's fun toto i've got a feeling we're not in
00:55:54
blank anymore toto i've got a feeling we're not in
00:55:59
i've got a feeling we're not in here very good that's very honest
00:56:07
totally i got a feeling we're not in here
00:56:14
this one's great bobby yeah set her up for this one go ahead make my what a good movie yeah i'm gonna
00:56:20
love it go ahead make my milkshake yes yes how did you know that that's actually
00:56:26
really good that's milkshake how did you know that you saw the movie no
00:56:32
that's odd that she wouldn't how would you would know that how did you know that than not see the movie i don't know i was just thinking of ice
00:56:38
cream and then milkshake what movie do you think it is i don't know you don't know what movie this is this
00:56:45
is clap the boat just clap the boat go ahead make go ahead
00:56:51
make my milkshake keep your friends close but your enemies closer yeah well you
00:56:57
know she's a crazy person she knows yeah for sure they may take our lives but they'll never take our
00:57:04
you can read this with an accent she still won't get it yeah yeah they may take our lives but they'll never take her they may take
00:57:11
our lives but they'll never take our souls souls yeah they can take our lives
00:57:20
so good though they'll never take our souls okay let's tell her what it was well the last one was uh yeah we can go
00:57:26
through it they may take our lives but they'll never take our free dumb freedom that was like bravely
00:57:32
yes the braveheart you got keep your you got that go ahead make my day that's dirty harry get dirty
00:57:38
harry do you know who clint eastwood is yeah oh cool it's e.t phone home yeah phone
00:57:44
all right toto i've got a feeling we're not in kansas anymore do you know where kansas is do you know what it is yeah that's right
00:57:51
yeah you know what movie that was wizard of oz you've never seen that oh my god god so wild i'm the
00:57:59
king of the world yeah you just did titanic you know you love that movie i forgot wax on wax off is from karate
00:58:05
kid yeah those two phrases are for me and bob say hello to my little friend is
00:58:11
scarface do you know what that is horror movies yeah kind of yeah yeah it's kind of a
00:58:16
cautionary tale bond james what'd you say james she got
00:58:21
it right no she got it right houston we have uh what yeah no she said houston we have a baby
00:58:28
oh yeah we have a baby and it's houston we have a problem yeah yeah what movie that's uh that's uh
00:58:35
apollo 13. apollo 13 yeah uh may the force be with you right
00:58:41
what did she say may the what what was it maybe the odds yeah i mean the idea would be right casino yeah i'm
00:58:48
gonna make him an offer he can't refuse an offer that's from the godfather have you seen that no way
00:58:53
no yeah frankly my dear i don't give a damn what you got correct do you know what movie that is
00:59:01
really how do you know that it's damn
00:59:07
do you know who says it no wow do you know bob is it um
00:59:14
frankly my dear i don't give a damn i don't know what movie is it i don't
00:59:21
know what movie it is glad gable clark cable i never saw that you never saw gone with the win no
00:59:28
okay okay but like you love old cinema that one i didn't watch
00:59:36
because i don't i don't like no i just love that you go that one i didn't watch i'll tell you why i don't like um historical pieces with
00:59:42
just a bunch of white people in it you don't like uh like a movie like emma comes along or
00:59:48
something like when it's like when it has to do with aristocrats or white slavery and [ __ ] yeah yeah i just don't like it
00:59:54
what about tarantino he does [ __ ] like that all the time okay uh magic mirror on the wall who is
01:00:00
that and you got that right you got that right wait did you she did what did you say fairest who is the ferris bueller of them all
01:00:06
yeah um that's pretty good though that's really good for american movie slangs
01:00:11
yeah um i have to say you have to watch e.t yeah let's let's make you a list of stuff you really need to watch yeah you
01:00:17
got to watch e.t e.t for sure on this list let's go down the list of things you have to watch
01:00:22
uh go with the win i don't know no no the godfather you love the godfather you
01:00:28
love you would love uh star wars you ha you've never seen any star wars i
01:00:33
think i've seen the first one okay oh my god you would know if you had or not i don't think she'll like james bond i
01:00:39
don't i think scarface would be uh too much too much for you no no no for us
01:00:45
i'm the titanic you've seen i think karate kid you'd love yeah karate kid's such a good movie e.t
01:00:50
you've never seen why wouldn't you watch that movie that's cute that's a cute movie with kids and an alien his name is e.t extraterrestrial
01:01:00
oh but he looks kind of scary he does yeah let's begin a picture of this long-necked weirdo let's bring up a
01:01:06
picture of e.t right now because honestly i couldn't agree with her more i remember as a kid being like i would never put this thing in my house
01:01:13
let me tell you something if this thing i that in my house why am i hiding that in my
01:01:18
house yeah and what was he made out of a ball skin
01:01:23
sack like ball sack skin he was such an ugly no purpose was this cute they tried to say it was like cute
01:01:29
it was not a cute creature go to a full body shot of it please there's a full body shot there not cute look that's a testicle
01:01:35
yeah that's a big sack would you would you hide that in your house if he came to your house rudy if this crashed in your front yard
01:01:42
and you and your friends were when you were like how old were they 10 or 11 or 12 in that would you saw that would you ever harbor
01:01:48
this in your home you'd probably kill it can i say something about you probably get one of those knives out and kill it but what the
01:01:54
but the tone of the movie i remember watching the movie as a kid yeah and walking out of the
01:02:00
theater going oh that was the greatest thing i've ever seen it was unequal as a kid one of the best movies i've ever seen oh
01:02:05
my god i was it was so magical i remember walking out with my brother of the theater yeah and just going
01:02:11
wow that was magical i do i remember feeling that about a handful of movies where you're like oh so cool it blew your mind yeah
01:02:17
ghostbusters i thought was one of the keys yeah that was another really cool like this is amazing yeah the technology back then
01:02:22
was absurd you were like and this this today when you look at the cgi and this and all stuff it looks
01:02:27
awful really it's so bad it's terrible we should try to watch e.t i think she
01:02:32
might like it star wars you have to watch well yeah you really should for cultural let me ask you something in star wars maybe just maybe
01:02:39
three years they mean three characters in star wars you got this you got this um
01:02:47
darth darth or dark don't worry you tell us you tell us we've never seen
01:02:52
it darth vader very good darth vader second one
01:03:02
luke what's his last name i don't know okay right yeah that's you
01:03:08
know it's forgettable i just know it's luke i am your father that's his name how do you know that luke i am your father that's a movie you saw
01:03:15
i don't know no she's heard that in the social side somebody's saying that luke yeah so luke
01:03:21
what let's guess his last name just for fun luke think about space stuff spacey things luke
01:03:27
luke [Music]
01:03:34
that's great very good third one one more character it was good luke abraham was good yeah
01:03:41
she does come up with great amazing names yeah amazing arsenal jose arsenault yeah
01:03:47
i want to be amazing i want to see that movie she should have a book of like baby names go ahead name one more character
01:03:53
come on slinky slinky
01:04:07
yeah no slinky was in there yeah let me ask you something have you ever heard of like c-3po
01:04:14
r2d2 you never heard of that have you ever heard of boba fett okay
01:04:20
luke's last name was skywalker you've heard of that yeah okay uh
01:04:25
princess leia han solo any of these kind of ring a bell yeah okay all right um that was a great podcast i
01:04:31
had a good time well let's let's have rudy take us out with us uh take us out with one of your your favorite incorrect sl
01:04:37
slangs from there which one did you say that what was the furthest off i'm gonna make him a spider he can't
01:04:43
refuse yeah yeah is that it go ahead and say that into the camera and take us home i'm gonna make him a spider he can't
01:04:49
refuse thank you for being a bad friend
01:04:55
[Music]
01:05:04
that's great you son of a [ __ ] now you have a little bobby too
01:05:10
thank you for being a bad friend
01:05:24
[Music]
